Re: Croik's Fanfiction
spr fckn srs peepz
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Croik wrote:
Hatman, my fic raped you!? 
That's a new one for me!
That's a new one for me!Once again, Marcel Proust. I will rue the day I took that course...
http://vanderlund.blogspot.com - Because the only fantasy worlds I like are those I write myself.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
俺の黄金の魔女
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Anyway, I remember when this first came out, and I skimmed through to refresh my memory, so let's see if I can drum up some halfway decent comments. I liked the final chapter. Maybe it was just me, but I thought the sex scene was even better than the one before it. I like the sense of place we got in the beginning when Phoenix wakes up--also good to see you didn't forget Pess (LIKE SOME PEOPLE FORGET SHOE) since you introduced him in an earlier chapter--the Power Ranger was a cute addition.
One of the best things about this fic is the sense of flow we get from the P/E relationship. Things start off awkward and hesistant. There are some moments when it appears the trial will rip their tentative steps towards one another to shreds. And yet, they get through it and Phoenix comes to the realization that Edgeworth gives him something no one else can. That's very powerful. It comes back to the idea that they can really achieve anything by working together. And while they're still not 100% settled in by the end, there is a sense of familiarity and warmth. Their relationship took a beating, but it still held. Through that it's now strong enough to lean on and use as a support mechanism.
I had sort of complex feelings about the epilogue. On the one hand, I was glad to see that the initial plot thread of "Edgeworth might have made a mistake" was brought back--that it wasn't just about Phoenix screwing up. I also feel that Edgeworth would trust Phoenix to help him out in that sort of situation, and even that it's probably important to look at some of his old cases. But...it's hard to explain? There's almost a sense of worry that in putting so much emphasis on doing this--it is the last plot point we see, after all--they might get too bogged in the past, which sort of negates the "you screwed up, face it, and move on" message you had in the second to last chapter. I don't think the epilogue was bad by any means, and I DO understand that the point was that this was something that needs to be done, that you can't just allow people to rot if there's a CHANCE they aren't really guilty. I'd be hard pressed to point out anything you should change about it--I love that Pearl and Maya joined them for lunch, as an aside. Just...I don't know.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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Quote:
...they might get too bogged in the past, which sort of negates the "you screwed up, face it, and move on" message you had in the second to last chapter.
Well, what I was trying to say was that even though Edgeworth did accept his mistakes and moved on in 2-4, that isn't the full extent needed for him to "face it". Sure he accepted he was wrong, but in order to fully accept it he has to *fix* it, too. Which is a step further than Phoenix had to do to make it right, true.
That, and in the original planning phase of the fic, Edgeworth was going to lose. But I decided I wanted the ending to be a little more equal - they both made mistakes, they both face them, and they do it together. (Plus it's much more satisfying to make Phoenix cry~~ <3)
I did think for a while about starting a squel *after* they'd finished going through the cases, so any following stories would have a clean slate anyway... but with GS4 it's all been squashed, so if I gotta rethink some things.
But I'm glad you enjoyed it :D. I've really appreciated all your comments.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
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WHAR DO I PUT THIS HERE TREE?!?
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
A man is not a piece of fruit.
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I just wanted to post here and tell you what a huge fan I am of your work. The characters are very well-done, and your plot for "One of Every Color" is the best I've seen in a very long time.
It also helps that I love NaruMitsu, although the other stories a wonderful too. It gives me a thrill whenever I see a new one up on your webpage. I certainly hope you will continue to write, as you are the best Gyakuten Saiban fanfiction author that I know.
No, I'm awake.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
>_>
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You made a great site, you speak Japanese, AND you're a good writer?
Oh my, three things I wish I could do.
More please, if you can.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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Some of you may remember that when Kyouya's first screenshots were released, the particular line "I'll take you" was a source of amusement for many. We joked about it in chat several times, and it came up that Kyouya ought to take Odoroki to... A STRIP CLUB.
AND THEN, I WROTE IT!!!
HERE IT IS:
http://www.idletheme.com/objection/viewstory.php?sid=78&warning=16+
I even put it into an open series on OBJECTION! so others could add their stories about Kyouya taking Odoroki places, if they want.
It's possibly the dumbest thing I've written in a while, but that's kind of the point. Hope it gets a chuckle.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
;~;!
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IN BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE
edit:
wahahah.
A Taste of Texas. That's vary naic.
Marshall lol. :3
..
the blonde...
It's
Spoiler: CROIKZ n00die bar fanfix
X) The Minuki system lol.
Very nice.
Poor Regina :(
Anyways, I finished it.
I liked it ~
Humorous, and very nice cameos~
:D
Even when the body dies, the spirit, the ego, it lives on... forever.
Last edited by Dahlia Hawthorne on Thu May 31, 2007 7:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
The foxy ladies can't resist my sandwich
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Spoiler: No real spoiler for your story but still...
fuck
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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Curse you, Arumajiki!!!
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
stirring
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If you come across an older post of mine, sowwy
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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No seriously, it's not gay.
Kyouya/Ema fic - "Sugar Sugar" over at LJ
Rated PG, post GS4 but very vague spoilers. Comments welcomed!
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
俺の黄金の魔女
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Overall, I really liked what you were going for with this fic. Since you know about my anal-retentive nature RE: details, here are a few of my favorite ones. I love that Kyouya's office was cleaned up and his guitars were put away. What a great way to allow us to know the impact these past few months have had on his life, in a very quiet manner. It's pretty much how I picture Kyouya reacting. He's not going to gnash his teeth and rend his clothing, but there will be a difference to anyone who knows him. Along those lines, I also liked his reaction to hearing that he wouldn't have to go against Odoroki again this time. Even though they did come to a mutual understanding by the end of the game, who could blame him from needing a bit of a break from Odeko-kun.
I also like your characterization of Ema. It rings true to how she is in the game. She complains and nags and is rather abrupt, but even though Kyouya gets on her nerves, if he was really suffering and she knew about it, I could see her trying to reach out to him. (Provided he hadn't just made her look like an idiot in court.
) And, in a way, I appreciate that she allowed him an outlet without really breeching his defenses too much, which I'm sure are high and muti-layered. I love the blush as she stomped out near the end. That and the blaming him even though she was the one that kissed him.What I had a trouble with was Kyouya pulling Ema onto his lap. While I realize it's a romantic fic, so that has to happen, it's a shade of "sexual harassment" and I can't really see Kyouya being the type--especially when he's at work. No matter how distracted and distraught he is, it just sort of pings me. Teasing barbs, sure, but I don't think he'd be so quick to just grab her, especially at this stage in their relationship when there's a lot of things hanging between them. Also, when Ema begins to give in as he's singing, I had kind of mixed feelings. I think I understand what you were going for--his feelings are coming out in his singing, and she was responding to the sincerity of that as opposed to the sort of image he projects, so it's a way of letting her in without really letting her in--but it feels like...well, the way you describe the song is soothing. (soothing the savage detective lol?) I'm not sure Kyouya would be feeling particularly soothing right now, I think it turns what's going on away from him and onto her. I don't mean that it has to be mournful and depressing, but I almost feel that it sort of makes the fic skim along the surface instead of delve beneath a bit. I'm not sure I can quite explain it. I'm really sorry. ^^;;
But yes, overall, nicely written. As I said in the GS4 couples thread, Kyouya/Ema is a sort of "take it or leave it" couple for me, but I can understand its popularity, and I thought you brought up some interesting things in this fic.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
The foxy ladies can't resist my sandwich
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fuck
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Yeah, I'm totally watching you.
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Re: Croik's Fanfiction
俺の黄金の魔女
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I think my issue is that we don't really have an idea of what he's being "sincere" about. Part of that is because you had the song be in another language, but, as a singer, I think a song's emotion goes far beyond the lyrics. If he is connecting to her via his feelings coming forth from his music, then I think it might be helpful to know what emotions in particular are reaching her.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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And I understand what you mean by it kind of being a surface fic, Musouka. What I really wanted to convey was the possibility of Kyouya opening up to her, but none of it actually happening yet. I wanted to keep the focus on Ema (and for Kyouya to want to keep the focus on Ema) so that I could avoid dealing with him too much just yet. Because...I'm not quite sure how I want to handle him.
Kind of a...Kyouya doesn't want to talk about it, hence all the teasing, but at the same time he *might* want to talk about it. Later. I dunno if that makes sense :B.
Either way I'll do more of them eventually <3.
EDIT: You posted again before I could post this :O
And I do know what you mean, but at the same time, that goes a little deeper than I had intended for this fic. A one shot just isn't enough space to tackle someone like Kyouya XD;;. It's more about Ema realizing that Kyouya has real sincerity in him at all, if not exactly where it's coming from how or how he really feels.
Which...is a small step up from Karinto pelting, but a step nonetheless!
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
俺の黄金の魔女
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Kyouya is an interesting character. He has a lot of nuance to him, and his personality is of a type that makes him fun to bounce off other characters.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Edgey Fangirl
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Re: Croik's Fanfiction
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Quite easy for someone who hasn't played GS4 to like, and understand, and I found myslef going with it every step of the way. The bit at the end sin't what I expected,I expected things more along the lines of:
"Kyooka an' 'ma and seex all nite"
A nice approach to them, and very much enjoyable to read.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Slightly Disheveled Radiator
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But it's all so addicting! D:
*applause* I still love One of Every Color the most.
Created by Vickinator, the greatest person EVER.
~ Crying in Public ~ The Kallisti Project: Samurai Arc
Married to Sakuro*And Eximplode07
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Yeah, I'm totally watching you.
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Re: Croik's Fanfiction
So moe for Makoto it's funny.
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And Rachel's a hottie.
I wonder if there's any porn of her.
(Awesome sig art by Axl99!)
The Truth Behind The Phoenix/Edgeworth mess
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Apollo Prejudice: Ace Attorney is finally complete!
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=1743834175956432442&hl=en-GB
Click on the link to view and somebody please put this on YouTube!
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=1743834175956432442&hl=en-GB
Click on the link to view and somebody please put this on YouTube!
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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BUT THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THAT:
http://community.livejournal.com/igiari/126390.html
This is NC-17 mansex with Kirihito/Phoenix. Don't ask where it came from!! ..Well, it came from the fact that they're both hot and I wanted to write it. So there, nya!
Warnings for GS4 spoilers, seeeeeex, and...it's not exactly violent but there is a little biting and breathplay involved.
It's also unexpectedly verbose. You've been sufficiently warned!
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
I like a man with a big ... vocabulary.
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"Please tell me you're not masturbating to the daily stock totals." has gone into my all-time favourite quotes list by the way. I laugh whenever I think about it.
"Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good". - Thomas Paine
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Colour monkey supreme
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As for that Kirihito/Phoenix fic...
Oh. My.. VIRGIN EYESSSSSSSSS~!!!!!!!!
I think I've been blinded.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Colour monkey supreme
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Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Colour monkey supreme
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What can I say, I'm a sucker for punishment.
[ack... double post.... I should be shot! So sorry....]
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Lolwut?
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The K/P fic raped my mind.... I blame you for soiling it with such guilty pleasures! *reads again*
So.... when can we expect some more pairing madness?
Too lazy... hur hur.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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Aetheryn wrote:
I said it on the other site, and I'll say it here too:
The K/P fic raped my mind.... I blame you for soiling it with such guilty pleasures! *reads again*
So.... when can we expect some more pairing madness?
The K/P fic raped my mind.... I blame you for soiling it with such guilty pleasures! *reads again*
So.... when can we expect some more pairing madness?
Bwa ha ha, glad you liked it.
I've got some other shorts bouncing around my head, but my main focus at the moment is getting my next long fic ready. It's going to be a post GS4 multi-chapter with an original case. But I may have made it overly complicated, so...it needs some work XD;;. I might post the prologue up pretty soon, though. It's going to be Kyouya/Ema, Takita/Makoto.
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Animator
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<iframe src="http://gamercard.xbox.com/Sergeant%20Sears.card" scrolling="no" frameBorder="0" height="140" width="204">Sergeant%20Sears</iframe>
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Vampire Prosecutor
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x 
. I'm a sucker for Edgey being "seme" and Phoenix being "uke". Edgeworth and Phoenix are my fave Yaoi pairing and you can write them well. You have a wonderful writing style and the story for One of Every Color was extremely well done, good job. If I could write I'd write ExP fanfics but I rather draw them instead (my friend writes fanfics and depending on what they are, I draw scenes or dojins). My artistic self is yelling at me to draw after reading these, lol.Again, great job.
Thanks Elriel for the wonderful Edgey siggy and the beautiful Phoenix/Edgeworth avy!
Artwork from avatar drawn by Yamamura Tatsuya
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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Re: Croik's Fanfiction
The foxy ladies can't resist my sandwich
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fuck
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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Re: Croik's Fanfiction
Vampire Prosecutor
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Croik wrote:
Thank you very much, Levia! Do you have an art thread here on the forum?
Sadly not yet. I need to get an account somewhere so I can post my work. I don't want to do Imageshack, it's good for some things but when it's your own art, nope, no way. So any recommendations as to where? I'm debating, a lot of people say Photobucket is really good and so is Flickr, but eh, can't make up my mind. But anywho, I'll post when I can, I need to draw more Phoenix Wright fanart anyway, as of right now I have just a few pieces, yaoi and het. I go back and forth between PW and my writer and I's own work/manga (which we hope to get published someday soon). But sooner or later I'll post some fanart here to share.
Thanks Elriel for the wonderful Edgey siggy and the beautiful Phoenix/Edgeworth avy!
Artwork from avatar drawn by Yamamura Tatsuya
Re: Croik's Fanfiction
nuuuuu, stoooooop
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I haven't used Flickr.
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