Edgeworth: Did I read that right?
Four?Phoenix: Uh... that's half the fic.
Edgeworth: Ngh...
Quote:
January 7, 11:33 AM
Police Department - Gant's Office
---
The phone rang.
"Sir? Prosecutor Edgeworth is here, asking for you."
So soon?
What a pleasant surprise.
"Send him up."
Edgeworth: *rubs temples* Why on earth am I going to see Damon Gant after he raped me twice?
Phoenix: I don't know. Trying to confront him with decisive evidence?
Edgeworth: ...which would just be an invitation for him to do it again.
Phoenix: Yeah, confrontations with decisive evidence don't usually go very well, do they?
Edgeworth: What on earth have you been doing during investigations?
Quote:
January 7, 11:35 AM
Police Department - Gant's Office
---
"Worthy," sounding as supremely delighted as the police chief genuinely was, when the silver-haired counselor entered his office.
"Gant," rather stiffly.
A grin as he watched the prosecutor, after full entry, lock the door behind him.
"Was there something you ... needed?" It was a bit of a taunt, actually. It had only been two days since their first meeting, after all. Neither had contacted the other since then, nor made any sort of concrete arrangement for a second meeting ... so it was quite a comfort for Gant, to see Edgeworth initiate this. So quickly, too.
Silently permitting Damon to overestimate his own importance, Miles, pointedly, removed his suitjacket.
Phoenix: Hold it, why are you removing... your... aw, dangit.
Edgeworth: A little slow on the uptake, are we, Wright?
Phoenix: I'm in denial for your sake here, Edgeworth.
Quote:
"My way, this time."
The police chief wouldn't even have to get out of his chair.
ooooooooooooooooooooo
January 7, 11:42 AM
Police Department - Gant's Office
---
Knock, knock.
Thick fingers grappled onto silver hairs.
That head went still.
"Yes?" Gant's voice fell short of solid.
"Chief!"
Gumshoe, at the door.
Phoenix: Now I feel bad for Gumshoe. Or worse than I did already, anyway.
Edgeworth: ...I'm under the desk, aren't I?
Quote:
"What?" unable to strain the annoyance in his tone.
"You said you wanted to see me later."
"Yes, later."
...
It took Gumshoe a full minute to realize he was interrupting ... something.
"S-sorry," before the detective seemingly stumbled off.
Gant knew the prosecutor would be annoyed, by this. He waited a few moments before releasing his grip, allowing Edgeworth to pull off his
[Yep, Edgeworth's giving Gant a blowjob under the desk.]Edgeworth: Sometimes I hate being right.
Phoenix: Why is the Management so determined to have us spork this that they'll cut things off mid-sentance...?
Speakers:
We're milking this fic for all it's worth, obviously.Edgeworth: I think the only thing this fic is worth is what I would have paid to get out of it.
[By the way, not only is Edgeworth giving Gant a blowjob, but he's also sticking his fingers up his-]Edgeworth:
No.Quote:
February 9, 2:17 PM
Yoko Cafe
---
"Black tea," Edgeworth ordered.
...
"And a double chocolate-chip frapaccino."
"No, Edgeworth, I'll pay for--"
"It's done, Wright,"
Edgeworth: *sigh* I should have known you'd be in this fic, too.
Phoenix: Hey, all we're doing is getting coffee, right? Which means no sex scenes for a while... right?
Edgeworth: We can never be too sure.
Phoenix: *also sigh*
Quote:
Miles hushed, "A generous salary is one of the benefits of routine success."
Phoenix: Then why am I always the one paying for meals?
Edgeworth: I'd be more inclined to pay myself if you stopped whining about it.
Quote:
He paid for the two drinks.
"Embarrassing," he muttered, as he received them. "We might as well go to an ice cream shoppe if you insist on ordering a milkshake."
He handed the frappacino to Phoenix.
"You ordered it, Edgeworth."
"Don't be cute." A couple dozen times they've visited this coffee-house together and the defense attorney always ordered the same thing ...
Phoenix: Which means at some point you should stop making fun of me for it, clearly.
Edgeworth: Wishful thinking, Wright.
Quote:
"I may have shocked the world and ordered something extremely pretentious," Wright argued, "Like, Darjeeling, tea."
A measured stare was aimed at the spikey-haired lawyer.
"You'll never know," Phoenix taunted, sipping through a straw, being sure to suck in a little bit of the whipped cream floating on the top.
ooooooooooooooooooooo
February 9, 2:22 PM
Yoko Cafe
Phoenix: Is an establishing caption really necessary? It's been five minutes.
Edgeworth: I suppose the author needed to assure us that we didn't change location somehow in the space of those five minutes.
Quote:
The cafe's sofas were overly padded; Miles preferred them that way.
Phoenix sat across from him, idly tapping his fingers on the wooden stand between them.
This was abnormal, though. Edgeworth was playing his typical role ... flipping through the pages of one of the cafe's magazines, acting rather disinterested in his company. But Wright should have been speaking. Babbling about trials, asking for advice, sharing the pity-stories of his clients, joking, flirting ... something.
Phoenix: Flirting? I don't- wait.
Edgeworth: *sigh* So not only do I have to put up with Gant, but I also have to put up with you.
Phoenix: I'm right here, you know.
Edgeworth: ...all things considered, you are a much better option than Gant.
Phoenix: That's not saying much.
Edgeworth: No, it's not.
Quote:
This silence was ... disturbing.
Edgeworth: Less so than this fic.
Quote:
"Stop tapping," the prosecutor instructed, sipping his tea.
Phoenix's fingers stilled.
Now the silence was even more silent.
Phoenix: You hear that, Edgeworth? The silence was silent.
Edgeworth: I'm not even going to justify that with a response.
Quote:
"Why is it when you actually have something to say, you don't speak?"
"Edgeworth ..."
He looked up from the magazine. When Phoenix's tone got soft like that ...
" ... can we--"
Edgeworth: No.
Phoenix: I haven't even asked anything yet.
Quote:
"No, Wright," he interrupted, setting the magazine down on the table. He moved to sit on the edge of his chair, leaning toward the defense lawyer, and repeated himself: "No."
A weak smile, "You didn't even let me ask ... "
Both: ...
Phoenix: I-Is the fic watching us?
Edgeworth: It's just a coincidental moment of in-characterness.
Phoenix: That actually kind of frightens me...
Quote:
Miles waited a moment before answering, letting the other's discomfort marinate a bit.
"We've tried to do this, before. So, please ... let it go."
The prosecutor could pluck the poor sap like a violin; He always could.
Phoenix: Ouch.
Edgeworth: It's not like it's very hard.
Phoenix: The least you could do is pretend that the fic's just making things up, you know.
Quote:
The defense lawyer could only match Edgeworth's gaze for a moment, before looking away.
A moment passed.
"Heh. It's not a question of being able to, Miles ... " forcing himself to look at the man he always admired, "I just don't want to."
Edgeworth sighed. He leaned back in his chair, propped up his elbow, pressed his cheek into his own knuckles.
"Why do you suddenly feel the urge to complicate matters, Wright?"
"Your secretary ... "
Phoenix: You have a secretary?
Edgeworth: No.
Phoenix: (Yeah, I suppose that sort of thing usually falls to Gumshoe...)
Quote:
"My secretary?"
"She said you were... in a relationship--"
"--In a relationship," the annoyance showed in his face, his tone.
"Or so she suspects."
" ... " The prosecutor briefly mused over how his secretary discovered this. Probably office gossip evolving from a marginal piece of evidence that actually turned out to be correct, possibly something as small as Edgeworth taking a personal call at a seemingly awkward time ...
There was also the issue of his own secretary babbling to other attorneys about his personal life ...
Phoenix: (Yep. Definitely Gumshoe.)
Edgeworth: What are you smirking for?
Phoenix: Nothing.
Quote:
"Please don't fire her," sensing Edgeworth's rather unsympathetic musings.
"Hn."
"Is it true ... ?"
He did consider lying, briefly.
"Yes. Though 'relationship' isn't the term I would use, personally."
Miles watched the younger lawyer flinch.
Phoenix: We're the same age.
Edgeworth: I suppose my birthday could be sooner than yours.
Phoenix: ...we have birthdays?
Speakers:
The Management would like to inform Phoenix Wright that making fun of the games' weird timeline is strictly forbidden.Phoenix: Who's breaking the fourth wall now?
Speakers:
The Management would like to request that Phoenix Wright rein in the sass or suffer the consequences.Quote:
"What term would you use, then?"
"It's sex, Wright. About four times a week, for the past month."
Four times a week ... Every other day, more or less. Just about as often as they went to a cafe or restaurant together during the day ...
Edgeworth: Why are we going to a café together four times a week?
Phoenix: Well, I know I'm probably going because you're paying for my milkshakes.
Quote:
"... Were you going to tell me?"
"No. It wasn't any concern of yours."
Another pause.
"Or my secretary's," he added.
The spikey-haired man seemed distraught.
But this was good, Miles decided. Maybe the information would help Phoenix move on.
Edgeworth: You chased me for fifteen years. "Moving on" does not seem very likely.
Phoenix: ...it sounds weird when you phrase it like that.
Edgeworth: It is weird, Wright.
Phoenix: (Yeah, you're welcome. Jerk.)
Quote:
A forced smile. "Well, if you wanted sex, you could've--"
Both: No.
Quote:
"No, I certainly couldn't have," The prosecutor corrected, testy now.
The smile vanished.
Edgeworth sipped his tea.
"So ... a man? what's he like?"
Edgeworth: I don't recall stating my "lover's" gender. Why do you automatically assume it's a man?
Phoenix: ...because bisexuals don't exist in fanfiction.
Edgeworth: Why did you pause before answering?
Phoenix: I plead the fifth.
Quote:
"What?"
"You know. Is he cute? Funny? Young, old ...?"
"Why?"
"Curious.
Edgeworth: I doubt that.
Phoenix: This from the same man who constantly complains about me sticking my nose in other people's business?
Edgeworth: I complain about that because you
do stick your nose in other people's business.
Quote:
What, are you ashamed of your lover?" He pressed, gaining a little momentum, now. This wasn't odd for them, though ... to treat each other's personal lives like a trial.
"Cautious," Edgeworth amended, "As someone in my position must be."
True enough, Phoenix decided.
"But if you must know ... he's handsome, drole and significantly older than me," something cold but amused touched those silver eyes, "He also has the most attractive physique of any partner I've been with."
"Oh really?"
"Absolutely. He's built like a god. A delicious, well-endowed ... god."
Phoenix: Waaaay too much information, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Wright, if I ever describe Damon Gant as anything like that, please shoot me.
Phoenix: I probably would have already shot myself.
Quote:
...
"So. When you're finished whoring yourself to this 'god' you have no feelings for ... --"
"--How desperate!" the prosecutor snapped, standing.
"Miles, wait!"
Phoenix: I only just noticed that fic-me started calling you by your first name.
Edgeworth: ...have you been paying attention at all?
Phoenix: Do you really think I'm foolhardy enough to break the rules during a punishment sporking?
Edgeworth: Yes.
Phoenix: ...well then.
Quote:
Edgeworth was already at the door by the time Phoenix managed to catch up with him.
The defense lawyer snatched the other's wrist, pulling him from the doory entry, bringing them face to face.
This act earned a rather nasty glare.
The thing with Edgeworth is that, sometimes, you have to be a little physical to earn his attention ...
Edgeworth: That is certainly not a line I wanted to read in a fic where I have apparently been raped multiple times.
Phoenix: I'm kind of scared to find out where this is going.
Edgeworth: ...aren't we in public?
Phoenix: Yes.
Both: ...
Quote:
"Listen, I'm sorry," sincerely, "I just, hate the thought of you ... with, anyone, honestly."
Miles looked him in the eye, "Get used to it."
Phoenix became annoyed, suddenly. Annoyed at all the little things Miles expertly used to control him: The gaze he couldn't match, the tone he couldn't challenge, the words he couldn't counter ...
Edgeworth: ...except you're always challenging my tone and countering my words.
Phoenix: And the gaze doesn't even bother me anymore.
Edgeworth: I had no idea my glare loses its effect the more I use it.
Phoenix: Hey, I can get used to anything.
Quote:
There was only one way through those defenses, and that was the power of unpredictability.
Edgeworth: That's... surprisingly accurate.
Phoenix: I'll have you know I
always know
exactly what I'm doing.
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: Stop looking at me like that.
Quote:
"Hm," moving his hands to Edgeworth's arms, holding him, "Guess I better take what I can while I still have you ... "
Phoenix: W-We're in public!!
Edgeworth: I don't think the author cares.
Quote:
"Don't you dare make a scene here ... "
Wright pressed forward, taking the prosecutor's barely parted lips.
Phoenix: Taking them where?
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: Um, nevermind.
Quote:
They were still, unresponsive. Which had little effect on the defense lawyer's enthusiasm. He moved his mouth against Edgeworth's, gently, before pressing into the other's cheek. Then, whispered, "I'll wait for you; I will."
Edgeworth: Mmhm. That's nice.
Phoenix: ...
Quote:
Miles couldn't say he was completely immune to Phoenix's sincerity. On some level, he wanted to let Wright drag him away from reality ... to that romantic lala world of sunshine that flourished in that absurd little mind.
Phoenix: What sort of image does the author have of me, anyway?
Edgeworth: I agree with the "absurd little mind" part of it, actually.
Phoenix: Thanks, Edgeworth.
Quote:
When Phoenix finally removed himself from his motionless partner ... "Amazing, Wright," voice dripping with dismissive sarcasm, "Your kisses remind me of our gentle, passionate nights together, and your words are directly from the soul ... beautiful and pure. You've again seduced me. I regret letting any other man touch me; You're the only one."
Phoenix: *bursts into laughter*
Edgeworth: E-Even sarcastically, I would never...!
Phoenix: *continued laughter*
Quote:
The younger man sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling powerfully depressed. Not only was Miles figuratively spitting at him, but those silver eyes were glancing off to the side ... completely disconnected.
The subject of his infatuation never seemed so far away, before.
"Everything has become so absurd, now," Edgeworth admitted.
Refusing to even look at Phoenix, he gently pulled away.
Edgeworth: Yes. Everything
is absurd.
Phoenix: No kidding... oh look, the next chapter.
Quote:
February 10, 10:23 AM
Miles Edgeworth's Voicemail
Phoenix: ...that's not a location.
Quote:
"Hey, Edgeworth. It's Wright. Listen, I'm, uh, not feeling particularly well today ... Just a tad nauseous, nothing serious. So, um, let's post-pone lunch, then. I'm ... sorry, Edgeworth. Could you .. call me later in the week, please? Thanks, alright, bye."
The message was interpreted as this: "Hey, Edgeworth. It's Idiot. I know I fucked up at the cafe by questioning you on your private life, embarrassing you in public, indirectly calling you a whore and forcing a kiss. I'm sure you're not in the mood to see me for our weekly lunch-date, but ... please don't do anything drastic and push me out of your life. I'm ... sorry, Edgeworth. Call me, when you're ready to see me."
Edgeworth: ... *puts head in hands, shoulders start shaking*
Phoenix: (I can't tell if he's laughing or crying...)
Quote:
February 10, 10:26 AM
Miles Edgeworth's Voicemail
"Hey, Edgeworth. It's Wright, again. Umm ... I called your office, before calling you, and, I noticed, the secretary ... wasn't Jessica ... and it was some new girl. I'm just hoping it had nothing to do with, uh, me asking Jessica, about you. It was my fault, not hers ... Well, let me know what happened ... and, see you soon, hopefully. Bye."
Phoenix: I thought you usually cut people's salaries instead of firing them.
Edgeworth: Obviously I was attempting to force a return to real life by firing my nonexistent secretary.
Quote:
February 14, 8:42 AM
Meiji Dori Avenue
"He also has the most attractive physique of any partner I've been with."
"Oh really?"
While walking to the courthouse, Wright noticed the gym on Meiji Dori Avenue.
He also noticed the sign in the window: "Earn great abs in our five-month program or receive a year-long membership for free! Results appear within the first month! Ask associate for begin the program with a body fat percentage of less than 18 to qualify."
Phoenix: Of
course fic-me gets self-esteem problems from the fact that you dumped me... or something. What's going on with our relationship in this fic, anyway?
Edgeworth: I assumed we failed one.
Phoenix: ...am I trying to get you back?
Edgeworth: Evidently.
Quote:
February 21, 3:21 AM
Phoenix Wright's Apartment
Ah, informercials. Nothing more comforting than a collection of generic smiles selling random products to the sleep-deprived. All that was sold was either useless garbage or grossly unnecessary.
"But how often should I exfoliate with your miracle cream, little miss Wei East?" Phoenix asked the TV, amused by himself. If he called the bright yellow number at the bottom of the screen, she'd verbally pamper him ... laugh at his jokes, speak with him, pretend he mattered. Little Miss Wei East wouldn't ignore his phone calls.
Not like Edgeworth.
Phoenix: I think fic-me should go to bed.
Edgeworth: That much is also evident.
Quote:
Phoenix looked at his cell. Eleven days, no call ... He had been waiting for one the whole damn week.
Edgeworth: At what point do you take a hint, Wright?
Phoenix: Well, you do that sort of thing all the time, so...
Edgeworth: (...so he really
can't take a hint. Interesting.)
Quote:
It may come across as pathetic that he had kept the phone with him at all times ... even during these odd morning hours, just in case.
Phoenix: Edgeworth, I'm just going to preemptively tell you to shut up.
Edgeworth: You can't prove I was going to say anything.
Quote:
He placed his palms on the back of his head, stretching.
Was there any chance Phoenix could just ... let him go?
... No. Not this easily, anyway. Persistence has worked on Edgeworth in the past; He'd call again tomorrow.
Edgeworth: It's not so much persistence so much as it is-
Phoenix: Sorry, but you can hold your snarky comment until after I point out that I'm apparently God in this fic?
Edgeworth: ...what?
Phoenix: Look. My pronoun is capitalized!
Edgeworth: ...worshiping a lawyer as a deity... is probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Quote:
He switched the channel.
"Beef up your meat, today! MagiRex penis pills are guaranteed to enhance your penis four extra inches!" came the announcement from some man in a lab coat. Dr. Penis.
Both: ...
Edgeworth: That's an unfortunate last name.
Phoenix: I think it's just a... marketing gimmick, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Oh.
Quote:
"Absolutely. He's built like a god. A delicious, well-endowed ... god."
Hm ...
Phoenix: W-W-Wh... HOLD IT!
Edgeworth: Oh dear...
Quote:
Phoenix looked at his crotch.
"... I'm proud of you. You make up for your lack of omnicockity with tenacity and I like you just the way you are."
Phoenix: *goes bright red, hides head in hands*
Edgeworth: ..."omnicockity"?
Phoenix:
This is stupid.Quote:
Another channel flip.
"That stuff doesn't work, anyway."
Edgeworth: Are you speaking from experience?
Phoenix: I - I don't know that for sure!!
Edgeworth: ...are you still speaking from experience?
Phoenix: Don't make me come over there.
Edgeworth: There's only an arm rest between us.
Quote:
February 22, 3:15 PM
Prosecution's Office - Copy Room
It was a tasty scenario. The police chief had his favorite hobby trapped on the copier, squirming between his greedy hands and massive frame. A lick to that smooth cheek, before Damon rubbed his beard into that skin.
Phoenix: ...let's go back to talking about infomercials.
Edgeworth: Th-the copy machine?!
Quote:
"I love your body, Edgeworth" squeezing the firm flesh of his ass through magenta fabric.
Phoenix: You know, I think this might be the first time someone in one of these fics has gotten the color of your suit right.
Edgeworth: ...that's not much comfort, Wright.
Phoenix: I know.
Quote:
Gant had manhandled sticks, before. Other than the naturally tight holes that accompanied a small frame, he didn't really see the charm in thin, petite partners. Flesh was good. Flesh to taunt, taste, abuse ...
The shape of the prosecutor's body was perfect, honestly. Damon was exerting himself over a man, not some pathetic little fairy-slut.
He had to see more.
Edgeworth: *shudders*
Phoenix: On the plus side, the Management will be cutting things out soon.
Edgeworth: That's not a plus side!
Quote:
"More than a dozen times we've satisfied each other ... and I haven't seen your body entirely bare ... "
"We're in an easily-accessible room of a public facility, Gant," frustratingly twisting from those kisses.
Edgeworth: Hopefully somebody will walk in and report Gant for sexually harassing me.
Phoenix: I wonder why fic-you hasn't reported him himself?
Quote:
"You're the only prosecutor masochistic enough to show up at the office on a Sunday," Damon stated, trying to catch those evading lips.
Phoenix: Oh.
Edgeworth: ...masochistic or not, I'm still
sane.
Phoenix: You're welcome, by the way.
Quote:
"Let's try, 'Just hurry up and get to my cock,' then." Miles muttered, "This does not require complete removal of all attire. - Maintenance does arrive at four, by the way."
Edgeworth: ...it's 3:15...
Phoenix: At least if you get arrested for public indecency, you can ask the police to keep Gant away from you in the detention center.
Quote:
These words reminded Gant of another seductive quality the younger man had; It was that fierce personality. Like the prosecutor had some sort of untouchable internal source of strength.
Edgeworth: I don't suppose that strength extends to the ability to push Gant off of me and call for help.
Phoenix: I'm starting to think fic-you somehow missed the coercion aspect of it all.
Quote:
Damon was secretly suffering two conflicting desires ... There was some sort of womanly vulnerability he was enduring. Some gentle, quiet emotions that nagged him ... these feelings wanted to touch Edgeworth's lips, kiss his neck, make him gasp and moan.
Edgeworth: *horrified silence*
Phoenix: (This is disturbing
me, and my appearance in the fic is mostly just pining for Edgeworth. I can't imagine what Edgeworth's going through.)
Speakers:
Our offer to find a fic like this that stars you still stands, by the way.Phoenix: No!! And stop reading my thoughts!
Quote:
Then there was that second desire. The one that wanted to force his will upon Miles in every way possible.
Edgeworth: ...I want to call the police and I'm only
sporking this.
Phoenix: Well, suppose we call the police on the Management for holding us hostage...
Edgeworth: Do you really think I haven't tried that?
Phoenix: Oh. Yeah...
Quote:
That alpha-male instinct that wanted to ruin the prosecutor, and turn him into some sort of desperate, pliable little creature that existed only for Gant's own satisfaction. Destroying the prosecutor in a tantalizing, gradual process ... He'd make the pretentious bastard perform all the acts he's refused Gant.
Edgeworth: *puts head in hands again*
Phoenix: If you're not careful, the Management will yell at you for not paying attention.
Edgeworth: I'm already getting punished. How much worse can this get?
Speakers:
We do have other fics, you know. Ones involving, say, Manfred von Karma... and Quercus Alba... at the same time...Edgeworth: ! *sits bolt upright* I'm paying attention!
Phoenix: (Where do they find this stuff??)
[Gant fantasizes a bit.]Quote:
"Quit slobbering on me, Gant."
Gant paused, taking a moment to imagine grabbing that face and stuffing his tongue between that insatiable bastard's lips. Refusing his kiss?
Edgeworth noticed the gleam of professionally bleached teeth; Damon was genuinely, fiercely pissed. It was only through expert self-control that Miles avoided both a flinch and a quiver.
The prosecutor, wisely, decided not to press the police chief any further ... not when he was ensnared in those arms. Damon picked up on the other's weakness ... he was getting better at detecting his younger partner's discomfort.
He slowly put on that smile.
Edgeworth: ... *discomfort*
Phoenix: I'm really glad we got him arrested.
Edgeworth: Yes. Very glad.
[They are seriously having sex on the copy machine.]Phoenix: ...my
eyes...
Edgeworth: It's... it's just the cut summary, Wright.
Phoenix: There are certain mental images I do not want under any circumstances, Edgeworth, and that's one of them!!
Quote:
"You're awfully photogenic," Gant teased, looking at the photocopy of his gloved fingers pressing into that pale ass. Must have been an expensive machine to capture the image so well ...
Both: .......
Edgeworth: He hit the "copy" button?!
Phoenix: I'd laugh if I weren't so horrified.
Quote:
"Cute," Edgeworth muttered. He tried to identify the exact moment he decided to let Gant force him onto the copier ...
Having his genitals heated a couple dozen times in a row left him feeling a bit nauseous and,consequently, irritable. He was feeling sore, too ... like he had just been fucked dry.
Phoenix: I feel nauseous, too.
Edgeworth: That's an understatement.
Speakers:
Incidentally, technically speaking, you were just-Edgeworth: I don't want to hear it.
Speakers:
But only with Gant's fingers.Edgeworth:
I don't want to hear it.Quote:
Odd that the only remains from that admittedly erotic experience were physical and mental discomfort.
Phoenix: ...that's not odd at all.
Edgeworth: Physical and mental discomfort indeed...
[Gant apparently thinks Edgeworth owes him a "sexual favor".]Quote:
Miles checked his cell.
Hmm. Thirteen ignored calls before Wright realized that Edgeworth wasn't going to speak to him.
The fourteenth attempt finally led to a message.
Edgeworth: Fic-Wright takes a hint faster than you do.
Phoenix: I don't know what you're talking about.
Quote:
"We're shredding all of those, by the way," pressing the phone to his ear, "including the one you slipped into your pocket."
Edgeworth: No. I'm not taking any chances.
Burn them, then burn the ashes.
Phoenix: And the guy who hit "copy" in the first place.
Edgeworth: Only if you can convince the Judge it was justified self-defense.
Quote:
"Shred all these beautiful pictures?" Gant smirked, moving behind Miles so he could firmly massage those shoulders. "Next time ... you'll let me see your entire body. I'll make you feel good all over, I swear."
There it was ... Gant attempting to invoke that sexual debt.
"We'll see," just to shut him up.
Phoenix: You know what a better way to shut him up would be? Calling the police.
Edgeworth: I'm already at the Prosecutorial Offices. ...I think.
Phoenix: See? The police would be there in like three seconds!
Quote:
He listened to Wright's message.
It was a rather simple one. " ... I miss you."
... Such a child.
Phoenix: Excuse me.
Edgeworth: Well, you
can be pretty childish.
Phoenix: Yeah, don't rush to my defense all at once now.
Edgeworth: I honestly don't know what you were expecting, Wright.
Quote:
Gant squeezed those shoulders, regaining Edgeworth's attention. "Mmm. Once you realize you'll never meet anyone that can give you as much sexual satisfaction as I ... " leaned forward, letting his lips touch the prosecutor's ear, "maybe you'll stop limiting our options."
"If you're unsatisfied with our, exchanges ... feel free to seek out a new fuck," Miles challenged.
Naturally, Gant had decided a while back that he couldn't let this go. He would be hard-pressed to find anyone as stunning as Edgeworth. Or as talented at sucking cock.
"Don't be so defensive. Of course I will respect your wishes."
Both: *bitter laughter*
Quote:
"Yes, of course."
Edgeworth: Even fic-me doesn't believe him. Probably.
Phoenix: Hey, that would make it the first glimmers of sanity. Maybe next you'll cut Gant out of your life.
Edgeworth: ...he was the Chief of Police, Wright. I had no choice but to work with him.
Phoenix: Okay, yeah, but... wait a minute. The chapters takes place the same day he killed Detective Goodman.
Edgeworth: ...what? *squints at screen* So it is, February 22... and since you're here, it can't possibly be the year prior.
Phoenix: Ooh. Okay, you're doomed.
Edgeworth: ... *sighs*
Phoenix: Next chapter...
Quote:
February 23, 10:11 AM
Phoenix Wright's Apartment
---
It was a stunning leap across the room, covering several feet within a second.
Phoenix picked up the phone in mid-ring.
"Hello!!" Too loud.
" ... My call didn't even get through an entire ring," Miles noted, both surprised and not-surprised, by that.
Edgeworth: I don't know about that. It usually takes you forever for you to pick up your phone.
Phoenix: It's not my fault everyone loves the Steel Samurai ringtone.
Speakers:
...we would like to inform Phoenix Wright that leaning on the fourth wall, while not technically prohibited, is highly discouraged.Edgeworth: ...you have a Steel Samurai ringtone, Wright?
Phoenix: Um, Maya set it. I have no idea how to set it back.
Edgeworth: Oh. Of course.
Phoenix: (And what are you so disappointed for?)
Quote:
" ... Edgeworth!"
" ... "
" ... How are you?!" Phoenix didn't even notice the abundant enthusiasm in his own voice.
"Fine ... "
"Fine is good; I'm great!"
Edgeworth: And possibly drunk. Normally, right about now you'd be yelling at me for not answering you for weeks.
Phoenix: ...and then you hang up and I have to call you back.
Edgeworth: It's not my fault you never learn.
Quote:
" ... "
" ... I'd say it's good to hear your voice again, but you're not speaking."
" ... Right. Lunch, Thursday ... around noon. I'll take the liberty to assume you're available."
"Yes, I'm still single!" Phoenix announced.
Both *facepalm*
Quote:
" ... available for lunch."
"Oh ... " He seemed to remember Maya babbling about hamburgers ... but she can go by herself. "Noon is great."
"Since you're reporting your availability, let me make mine clear: This is not a date. I am still involved and I've never entertained multiple partners. We're returning to the same relationship we had prior to this little hiatus ... two people who enjoy each other's company."
"You enjoy my company? ... That's the nicest thing you've said to me in a year."
"Shall I give you a moment to bask in the warmth of my sentimentality?"
"Ah, Edgeworth ... it feels so good ... Say it again!"
Both: ...
Phoenix: ...I'm being sarcastic, right? Right?
Edgeworth: Either way, hearing you say that makes me... uncomfortable. Extremely so.
Phoenix: I'm pretty sure I'm being sarcastic.
Edgeworth: I certainly
hope you're being sarcastic.
Quote:
"Takashi's. Thursday. Noon." And he hung up.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
February 26, 12:24 PM
Takashi's Soup Restaurant
---
Phoenix wanted to see Miles smile; It's been a while.
Phoenix: *snorts* Good luck with that, fic-me.
Edgeworth: ...?
Quote:
"You know, Edgeworth ... how some people give up having a typical life, to pursue some sort of selfless greater-good? Like, feeding starving children in Africa ...or, trying to get Pandas to hump each other."
"And?" dipping a cracker into his warm soup before popping it into his mouth.
The defense lawyer looked him in the eye, "It's my destiny. I'm going to Pyongyang, to save baby Octopi from Korean tyranny."
Miles nearly choked on his soup cracker.
Phoenix: This is just me joking, right, and not a way for the author to write me out of the fic?
Edgeworth: I assume it's the former, considering it was marginally funny.
Phoenix: Except for the fact that "octopi" is capitalized.
Edgeworth: ...yes, except for that.
Quote:
March 10, 11:07 AM
Prosecutor Edgeworth's Office
---
Gant had a very dominating presence, about him. That large frame, obnoxious personality and flamboyant style ... a pay-attention-to-me trinity, of sorts.
Edgeworth: ...can we go back to the octopi?
Phoenix: Weren't you choking on a soup cracker?
Edgeworth: Of all the things to choke on in this fic, I would much, much prefer the soup cracker.
Phoenix: (...and you yelled at me for making a dirty joke earlier.)
Quote:
"It's been nearly two weeks since you've last drank my cum; Are you on some kind of diet?"
Edgeworth: Yes, I am on a strictly rape-free diet.
Quote:
"Gant. How good of you to drop by, unannounced," as Edgeworth shifted through a few court documents, feeling no need to stand from his desk, "Unfortunately I have a trial in forty-five minutes, so there isn't time to entertain you."
Gant didn't leave.
Miles ignored him.
Gant remained remarkably stationary.
Miles sighed, "Get on the couch; I'll take care of you quickly."
Edgeworth: But... trial is in forty-five minutes...
Phoenix: Shouldn't you already be at the courthouse?
Edgeworth: Yes, I should...
Quote:
The police chief moved to that fluffy magenta couch, watching Edgeworth. The prosecutor noticed something ... different, about Damon's demeanor. It took him a moment before he realized it was the absence of that dreadful smile; There was none of that trademark insincere enthusiasm.
"I thought you didn't have a lot of time," in response to Miles' hesitation. The attorney stood, moved before Gant and kneeled. Their eyes connected ... and Edgeworth then realized he was far more comfortable with the false optimism then this humorless, severe expression.
Phoenix: Watch out, Edgeworth. I think the next thing he might do is stab you.
Edgeworth: ...that would be a welcome relief.
Phoenix: Yeah, but then it'd just be me in this fic. ...and Gumshoe. What if he goes after one of us next?
Edgeworth: Don't be ridiculous.
Speakers:
You know, we have actually read a fic once where Damon Gant raped Phoenix Wright.Phoenix: ...
Edgeworth: ...where on earth do you...?
Speakers:
AO3 is kind of a funny place.[Edgeworth gives Gant another blowjob. Gant is creepy about it.]Edgeworth: Is there any alternative?
Phoenix: ...why would someone even write a fic where Gant raped
me...?
Edgeworth: Implying it's normal for someone to write a fic where Gant rapes me?
Phoenix: That wasn't what I meant and you know it.
Quote:
March 16, 1:12 PM
Prosecutor Edgeworth's Office
---
When Miles' door was shoved open, he joylessly suspected it was Gant.
When Phoenix stepped in with a ridiculously excited smile and a CD player, he wished it was Gant.
Edgeworth: Actually, the sex scenes in this fic would have been infinitely less disturbing if it had been you instead of Gant, Wright.
Phoenix: ...I'd say that's surprisingly nice of you to think that, but I'm sure it's actually an insult somehow.
Quote:
"What are you doing?"
"In situations like these, I prefer to let my actions do the talking," Phoenix announced, setting the CD player on the desk and hitting play. Music filled the room.
Dear god, it sounded like a seventies porn track.
Both: *groan*
Quote:
Phoenix started swaying his hips and undoing his tie.
"You're stripping in my office," a monotone statement.
There goes that collar button.
Phoenix: W-Wait, am I really?
Edgeworth: I... I think you are.
Both: ...
Edgeworth: Just watching this gives me a weird urge to ban you from my office for the rest of your life.
Phoenix: Somehow, I think I deserve it.
Quote:
"I'm calling secuity," he picked up the phone, hoping this scare tactic would work. It didn't. And Edgeworth apparently forgot what he was doing mid-bluff, while watching Wright's ridiculous striptease. It was the same kind of awkward, shameful fascination one would feel while witnessing a trainwreck ... Miles went ahead and hung up the phone.
Edgeworth: Trainwreck indeed.
Phoenix: I don't look
that bad.
Edgeworth: That's not the issue here, Wright.
Quote:
Phoenix sashayed to the left, then the right, as he unbuttoned his shirt. Once finished, he wiggled a bit ... revealing his smooth chest. The fabric fell down his shoulders, and Phoenix's arms spread out in a ta-da! gesture.
" ... What?" Edgeworth inquired, genuinely confused.
Phoenix did his ta-da! gesture a second time.
Phoenix: You know, I'm trying to find a good word for my personality in this fic, but I can't quite...
Edgeworth: An oversexed puppy who hasn't seen its master for a while?
Phoenix: ...yeah.
Quote:
"I'll be honest ... With your dramatic entrance, I was at least expecting a diamond-studded bra. -- You do realize I've seen your naked body before, yes?"
Edgeworth: W-When did this-?
Phoenix: I guess you were right about the failed relationship.
Edgeworth: ...when could that have possibly happened? I was avoiding you at all possible until the previous December. This fic begins in
January.
Phoenix: *shrug* I guess it didn't take very long for the relationship to fail.
Quote:
Phoenix frowned.
Miles was still unsure about what was happening, here. "I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're drunk ... "
Edgeworth: Which means, of course, that I'll call Gumshoe immediately and have him drive you home. Then inform him that next time I find you in my office, I'll cut his pay.
Phoenix: (...I really was just kidding about Gumshoe being his secretary, though.)
Quote:
"My abs ... " Phoenix muttered ... looking down to his exposed chest.
Edgeworth paused, thinking for a moment. Then there was a bit of a smirk. He began to shift through some of the papers on his desk, as he spoke: "Tell me if my perception of this situation is accurate ... you've been doing some sort of workout or fitness exercise that guaranteed you a studly body, and you wisely decided to show off before there were any visible results."
" ... My interpretation of the situation is that you're totally impressed with my budding muscle-bulges and we're about to have sex," Phoenix countered.
Edgeworth: You've been off in your interpretations before, Wright, but this...
Phoenix: I don't want to hear it, Edgeworth.
Quote:
"This is both horrific and fascinating, truly."
Phoenix: Like the fic.
Edgeworth: The fic is more horrific than fascinating, though.
Quote:
For a long moment, all that could be heard was Wright's sleazy music.
"This is Mr. Sex-god's fault! I'm betting he has spoiled you with his massive pectoral musles."
"That, or you're an idiot," looking over an autopsy report ... feigning boredom.
Edgeworth: I'm leaning towards "idiot", myself.
Phoenix: Don't think I didn't notice the word "feigning" before "boredom".
Quote:
Phoenix, unsatisfied, moved around the desk and stood next to Edgeworth.
"What now?" pretending to be annoyed.
"Touch my chest."
"I'm not touching your chest."
Phoenix quickly snatched Miles' hand and pressed it to his body. Edgeworth, though a little annoyed, obliged the other by rubbing his thumb along the plane of the defense lawyer's stomach.
"Wright, I'm not even trying to be an ass ... I literally cannot feel anything different."
Phoenix: Obviously that's because I'm already in really good shape.
Edgeworth: Are you now.
Phoenix: Shut up.
Quote:
Phoenix dragged that hand upward, just over the beating muscle in the left side of his chest. " ... really?"
"You had this whole moronic episode planned out, didn't you?" quickly pulling his hand away, turning back to his work ... now fully annoyed.
Phoenix: You weren't fully annoyed before?
Edgeworth: I assure you, Wright, I get fully annoyed any time I'm within earshot of you.
Phoenix: ...you're really great for my self-esteem, you know?
Edgeworth: I try.
Quote:
"Just the hand-over-my-heart bit. You were supposed to be impressed by my abs--"
"--There are no abs.--"
"--so I still need to prove myself."
"That isn't necessary."
"Smack me."
"I'm considering it."
Edgeworth: At least the dialogue is somewhere in the ballpark of in-character.
Phoenix: That kind of scares me.
Quote:
"Smack me ... with the desk-lamp."
" ... "
"It'll bounce off my chest."
Phoenix: ...
Edgeworth: I actually kind of want to see this.
Quote:
"Smack you, with the desk-lamp," Edgeworth repeated, voice low.
"Do it now!"
"Wright, get the hell--" Miles made the error of turning to look at the other. Wright had tensed up his body ... adorning the eye-squinted, chest-puffed, red-faced look of constipation, prepared for the desk-lamp.
Both: ...
Edgeworth: *barely-restrained giggle*
Phoenix: Real mature, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: I'm sorry, Wright. I simply can't deal with how ridiculous this scene is.
Quote:
Edgeworth couldn't hold back a short laugh. The prosecutor turned away, hand over his eyes as he struggled to regain composure. The image had just been too funny, the situation just too ridiculous.
Edgeworth: *goes pale*
Phoenix: ...how is it that the author can write something more or less in-character and still have it be a fic where you give Damon Gant a blowjob every couple minutes?
Edgeworth: I honestly have no idea...
Quote:
Phoenix grinned happily.
It had been ... a long time, since he had been able to make Miles laugh like that.
"Leave now, and I won't cancel our lunch engagement tomorrow ... " Speaking with his hand still shielding his eyes.
"Your smile is like the full moon ... "
Phoenix: ...if I see it, that means I'm in trouble.
Edgeworth: Why are you in trouble every time you see the full moon?
Phoenix: You don't know that I'm not a werewolf.
Edgeworth: ........
Quote:
Edgeworth endeavored to obscure it. "How poetic. -- Get out."
"See you tomorrow, " before Wright dipped forward to kiss the other's cheek(and quite pleased Edgeworth didn't snap at him for doing so). While putting his shirt back on, he added: "In four more months, I'll have extremely visible abs and you won't even need Mr. Sex-god."
" ... Don't forget your hideous porno-tracks."
Phoenix: I totally forgot those were playing in the background the whole time.
Edgeworth: I find myself wondering what would have happened if someone had heard them and wandered in.
Phoenix: ...I don't want to think about it.
Edgeworth: It's not even the most embarrassing thing someone could walk in on in this fic.
Phoenix: Yeah, but I had no excuse.
Quote:
March 17, 8:23 PM
Prosecutor Edgeworth's House
---
"Stalking me, now?" Edgeworth accused, bitterly, as he got out of his car.
Nothing like getting home from a long day of work to see Damon Gant's car parked in your driverway, with the bastard himself leaning against it ... waiting.
Edgeworth: Why does the author feel the need to alternate somewhat tolerable scenes of you and me with gut-wrenching scenes of Gant and me?
Phoenix: Maybe they hate you.
Edgeworth: On the contrary, I believe the people who write these fics are usually the ones who like me a little too much...
Quote:
"I only came for conversation ... "
"And I absolutely must oblige a man with such innocent intentions," Miles' tone practically acidic. The damn dog followed him to his front door.
"It would be in your best interest," Gant explained.
"Aren't we past the ill-conceived-threat stage of our relationship?" as he turned to face Gant. The prosecutor surely wasn't foolish enough to unlock his front door with Damon standing next to him ... the ogre would undoubtedly force himself inside.
Edgeworth: And then I can call the police.
Phoenix: Or shoot him.
Edgeworth: Do you really think I own a gun?
Phoenix: ...oh, right.
Edgeworth: Besides, this is California...
Quote:
"Again. It's in your best interest."
"You're not getting inside."
"Let me in."
"I worked thirteen hours, today. I'm tired, my body feels disgusting and I'm absolutely not in the mood for sex."
"I only want to talk."
"About?"
"Whoever else you're seeing."
Phoenix: ...that'd be me, wouldn't it.
Edgeworth: Yes.
Phoenix: Well, this should be a fun conversation.
Quote:
Edgeworth's eyes narrowed, "I know you have a very specific image of what I am, in your perverse mind ... but I've never indulged two different partners at the same time."
"You don't need to be having sex with more than one person to be indulging multiple partners."
Edgeworth quirked a brow. The police chief was accusing him of ... emotional infidelity?
Phoenix: Wait... is he?
Edgeworth: ...this is ridiculous.
Phoenix: I think we've established that.
Quote:
"Gant ... our relationship is purely sexual. You invited me to a tawdry hotel room and tried to blackmail me specifically for sex, remember?"
Phoenix: So
that's where the first chapter took place.
Edgeworth: Why did I think joining Damon Gant at a hotel room would be a good idea?
Phoenix: Haven't we already figured out that fic-you is insane?
Quote:
"This is why we need to talk; Let me in."
"Absolutely not. Nothing you have to say interests me. Your prick is the only part of you that interests me. And, tonight, I'm not in the mood ... so there's no use for you."
Gant stared at him, silent.
"I'll call you in the morning, Gant," and perhaps try to help the dope understand what is happening, here, "For now, just go ... "
Damon sucked in a deep breath of air, and for a second looked remarkably calm ... before lunging at the smaller man like an enraged beast. Edgeworth groaned out in pain when his head harshly smacked back into the door. His vision was black, for a moment ... but he was dimly aware of his keys being yanked out of his hand.
Edgeworth: He just... he just attacked me.
Phoenix: Now you can definitely call the police. This isn't even remotely ambiguous anymore.
Quote:
Within a few moments, Gant had unlocked the door. With an arm about Miles' waist, the police chief dragged him inside.
Phoenix: So what do the neighbors think is going on?
Edgeworth: Any sane person could surmise what's going on... so I'll just assume I don't have neighbors for when the police inevitably don't show up.
Quote:
Edgeworth stumbled, and would have fell to the ground had it not been for Damon. His vision was returning, but everything was blurry. His mind, in a haze, thought there was a giant pit beneath him ... and he found himself gripping onto Gant's arm, the only support that kept him from falling.
Edgeworth: ...I think he gave me a concussion.
Phoenix: Yeah, those aren't fun.
Quote:
"Tired, your body feels disgusting, you're not in the mood," dragging his captive through Miles' rather ornate house, "guess I'll wake you up, clean you and put you in the fucking mood. It's my duty, after all, as your fuck-associate."
After he found the bathroom, Damon, effortlessly, hoisted that body into that large tub, forcing his young, dazed toy to lean into the wall, standing.
He frowned, though, when he saw the horribly disoriented look on Edgeworth's face ... The man was clutching Damon's large arms like they were protecting him from some unseen threat.
Gant hadn't wanted to give the other a concussion. He held the prosecutor upward, waiting, watching those eyes for recovery. Eventually, recognition returned to them, noting the familiar surroundings, the man in front of him ...and that expression became one of severe spite.
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: ...wait, is there water in the tub? Didn't you just get home?
Edgeworth: Logically, the tub is empty...
Phoenix: Nothing in this fic runs on logic.
Edgeworth: Which is what I was about to say.
Quote:
"Are you insane ... ?" he snarled, shrugging away from Gant's touch.
"Strip," Gant moved back, still just outside the tub, using his large frame to block Miles inside it.
"This is absurd!" furiously.
"Ah. You're absolutely adorable when you're angry ... " Gant's left hand moved to the shower knob, "You'll be positively livid, when I shower you with freezing water and rip the clothes off your weak, shivering body."
"I'll press charges."
Both: Do it.
Quote:
"Those clothes look awfully expensive, Worthy. -- Three."
"Gant!"
"--Two."
"Ridiculous ... " Edgeworth whispered, slowly moving to unbutton his suit jacket.
"Good boy," Gant smirked, watching. It was a precious moment, really. He was picking up all the little details: Miles' gaze(which was glancing off to the side), the slight color in his cheeks, the quick, mechanical movement of his fingers as he unbuttoned his shirt. Damon was going to finally receive a complete view of Edgeworth's body. Such excitement.
Phoenix: Much-
Edgeworth: Memes give me a headache, Wright.
Phoenix: I assumed you already have a headache at this point.
Edgeworth: And I'd appreciate you not making it worse.
Quote:
He watched that smooth chest come into view and found himself pleased with the prosecutor's obvious vanity. Miles clearly kept his body in fine shape ... a seductive creature with lean muscle and beautiful skin.
"Why would you deny me this? Your body is conditioned for sex ..."
After those words, the younger man looked ... wounded.
Phoenix: No, not wounded. Creeped out.
Edgeworth: That would make me in-character.
Phoenix: Hasn't the author already demonstrated that they can write us kinda in-character?
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: Now, what does this say about Gant...? ...wait. Forget I asked that.
Edgeworth: I'll try to.
Quote:
"Why keep this beauty to yourself, Edgeworth ... is the world unworthy of you?"
No response.
"Continue," Gant urged.
Edgeworth unfastened his pants; Gant licked his own lips.
When it was finished, Miles' folded clothes were on the edge of the bathroom sink.
"Time to clean your, 'disgusting' body," Damon taunted, turning on the water.
Edgeworth flinched. Cold, initially ... he shivered.
"Get your hair wet."
The prosecutor quietly obeyed.
Phoenix: ...why are you obeying?
Edgeworth: I'm hoping to avoid worse things to come. Rather like the reason why I haven't attempted to escape the sporking theatre again.
Speakers:
The Management would like to inform Miles Edgeworth that we don't appreciate the comparison.Phoenix: ...and you say
I dig my own grave.
Edgeworth: Gnngh...
[Gant forces Edgeworth to soap up, then joins him in the shower, then badtouches Edgeworth.]Quote:
It had been so unpredictable. Edgeworth had been biting his knuckle, letting the police chief toy with his ass. Yet when those words were uttered ... Miles quickly pushed off the wall, thrusting back into Gant with the full force of his weight. Damon, taken by surprise, harshly fell out of the tub and smacked into the hard bathroom floor.
"Ah! Little bitch!"
Phoenix: Oh! You're actually making a break for it! Go Edgeworth!
Edgeworth: I don't think this is going to end well...
Phoenix: Now is no time for pessimism!
Quote:
They were a tangle of limbs. Edgeworth managed to squirm on top of Gant and swung his fist into the cheek as fiercely as possible.
Phoenix: No, you fool! Don't waste time punching him! Just run!
Edgeworth: Wright. Please, stop yelling at the screen.
Phoenix: Sorry. I just really want you to escape.
Edgeworth: I think we both know it's not going to happen.
Phoenix: ...does the word "hope" not mean anything to you?
Edgeworth: We're in the sporking theatre...
Quote:
The older man growled, hands moving to block a second potential attack, but Miles leapt upward to attempt escape. Not fast enough. A steel grip clamped onto his left ankle, tripping the prosecutor.
There was a valiant struggle, but within moments the smaller man was trapped on his own bed, with Damon's massive form sitting on his abdomen. Edgeworth, expecting some sort of punishment, lifted his arms to protect his head.
Edgeworth: See?
Phoenix: You could at least act disappointed.
Edgeworth: I am disappointed. However, I've been disappointed since the start of the fic.
Quote:
Eyes closed ... waiting for a strike.
"I'm not going to hit you," Gant stated, sounding disgusted.
Miles slowly opened his eyes, glancing at the police chief. After a moment, he believed the man.
Damon snatched the wrist of the hand that had lashed at him earlier. Those fingers were bent at the knuckle, and the older man correctly assumed that was due to pain.
"That's not how you hit a man. You'll do far more damage to yourself if you punch like that ... "
"You're the expert," he muttered, vainly trying to pull his hand away.
Gant ignored him ... applying pressure to the length of Edgeworth's fingers. The attorney was lucky -- nothing seemed to be broken. The police chief inhaled, deeply. "I know why you did that," he grabbed that other wrist, before placing them on each side of his gorgeous captive's head, "You think I'm going to rape your precious little ass."
Both: ...
Edgeworth: Yes, because that's
exactly what you're going to do.
Phoenix: I can't watch.
Speakers:
Too bad.[Gant molests Edgeworth while monologuing about how he's rape him.]Edgeworth: *horrified silence*
Phoenix: Reeeeeally glad he's in jail.
Quote:
Still holding the other by the neck, he forced a kiss upon Miles' lips.
Edgeworth: *silently puts hands over mouth*
Phoenix: Is he killing you? I mean, his hands are around your neck.
Edgeworth: I hope so, actually.
Quote:
March 18, 3:07 AM
Prosecutor Edgeworth's House
---
Gant sighed, content. He was quite happy with the result of waking Edgeworth up in the middle of the night for more sex.
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: I feel bad for fic-you.
Edgeworth: You should feel bad for real me.
Phoenix: Sorry, too busy feeling bad for real
me.
[By the way, Edgeworth is giving Gant yet another blowjob.]Edgeworth: Oh, for the love of-
Phoenix: I think the author has a... fixation.
Edgeworth: Why did I get dragged into it?!
Phoenix: (Better you than me.)
Quote:
His fingers stroked through that silver hair, until he was given a reminder: "Gant ... Stop that. You cracked my head against my front door."
Gant ceased touching that head, wondering just how bad the bruising would be. "I'm sorry, about that."
"No you're not. You got what you wanted tonight, as a result."
Edgeworth: You did not, however, get what you needed. Which was a life sentence. Possibly a death sentence.
Quote:
"I don't like hurting you, Worthy."
"Let me guess: It's my fault, I made you do it."
"Besides, I didn't quite get 'everything,' I wanted."
Phoenix: Do we have to listen to this conversation?
Edgeworth: Do we have a choice?
Speakers:
No.Phoenix: *sigh*
Quote:
"Im getting older, now ... My body is in fantastic shape, but realistically ... I can probably only expect several more years of sex, perhaps ten."
Edgeworth sat upward, though his expression was neutral, betraying nothing. Gant looked away from the prosecutor, almost shyly.
"It would ... behoove me, to have, a distinct partner ... possessing an unrivaled noble quality, to spend these remaining years with. Someone exceptional and beautiful, to make what's left for me ... fulfilling."
When he dared a glance at the prosecutor, there was a seemingly distracted expression on that face. Damon gently grabbed those shoulders, easing Miles to lay upon the bed.
"Noble quality?" Edgeworth questioned, as the older man pressed kisses into his neck.
"You're ... unlike anyone else I've touched. Your powerful sense of dignity, perhaps. "
"Ah. So you're tired of all the masochistic, shameless sluts you've previously entertained."
Edgeworth: Is he asking me... to...?
Phoenix: I really, really don't want to know.
Quote:
Damon froze.
"I'm not surprised your beastly appetite is calling for prey that'll struggle against you when you drag it to the ground. Makes the chase more interesting, yes?"
Gant pulled back, to look at those frosty, unyielding eyes. "You're being unfair."
"Tell me, Gant ... are all your fantasies like that cliche rape-story you whispered in my ear, earlier? You hurt me, humiliate me ... but your skills at sexual domination beckon to my inner-whore and at the end of it all, I'm begging for prick." spoken so matter-of-factly, like he was lecturing a stubborn child on a rather simple subject, "Is that what you're dreaming about, the nights you jack off by yourself?"
"As I've stated earlier, Worthy ... I don't enjoy hurting you," Gant declared, resolute expression matching Edgeworth's probing stare.
The prosecutor didn't believe him.
Edgeworth: ...yes. I think this might actually be some sort of bizarre love confession.
Phoenix: I don't even know what to say to this.
Edgeworth: Again, it would be so much less disturbing if this fic simply paired you and I and left Gant out of it entirely.
Phoenix: I think a lot of things would be so much less disturbing if Gant were left out of it entirely.
Quote:
"I have to wake up early tomorrow," twisting to lie down on the left side of the bed, away from Damon, "I'm sure asking you to leave would be a futile request."
Gant paused, a minute. He just observed, quietly ... the curve of that pale shoulder, the tendrils of damp hair. The older man had cum dozens of times in that mouth yet Edgeworth, bizarrely enough, still managed to portray himself as unattainable. Of course, he had expected that his haughty, gorgeous prince would make matters difficult ...
The older man moved to rest against the curve of the other's back.
"Don't," instinctively.
"How do I convince you I'm not a monster, Worthy?" He whispered into that ear, "I've passion, sentimentality, weakness ... perhaps moreso than you do," he slid his arm across that body, hand on that flat stomach, "Perhaps I'll take you to my home ... play an exquisite Johann Sebastian Bach piece, for you," his fingers danced across the other's skin, as though he were creating music on his pipe organ, "a toccata, for you."
Edgeworth: .......
Phoenix: ...um, are you okay?
Edgeworth: Is there even a point to asking a question to which you already know the answer?
Phoenix: Just being polite.
Quote:
Edgeworth twisted away from that touch. Whether it was because the man was ticklish or annoyed, Gant couldn't say for sure ... but Miles was pressing firmly into his body now.
Phoenix: ...are you?
Edgeworth: ...am I what?
Phoenix: Ticklish.
Edgeworth: As if I'd tell you. ...don't you dare touch me.
Quote:
Damon, still against the other's ear, "Don't forget ... I've seen every part of you. Your will, your desire, your strength and your frailty. Your soul. I want you, completely, and you'll never, have to hide from me."
Cute.
It wasn't true, though ... Gant didn't even realize he had never seen Edgeworth smile.
Perhaps he didn't think Miles was capable of that kind of tenderness.
Edgeworth: *dry laugh* Yes, very subtle, fic.
Phoenix: At least the author realizes that I'm a much better option than Gant.
Edgeworth: Who
isn't a much better option than Gant?
Phoenix: ...Manfred von Karma?
Edgeworth: I'd appreciate you not comment on that, considering one of the fics the Management mentioned earlier.
Phoenix: Ohh, right. Sorry.
Quote:
March 18, 6:37 AM
Prosecutor Edgeworth's House
---
A couple of Gant's belongings were tossed on his sleeping body: his wallet and his keys.
The keys were heavy enough to wake him up.
"Get up," Edgeworth's impatient demand.
Damon didn't particularly feel like moving, though. The prosecutor can go ahead and grumble over it ...
Phoenix: You could always leave, lock your house behind you, and burn it down.
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: ...I think Maya's been rubbing off on me.
Edgeworth: Really now?
Quote:
" ... so, Gant. How did it start? Did you suffer some unfortunate cliche in your youth? Daddy raped mommy? Mommy hit you? Maybe an uncle fucked you at a young age? Go on, tell me. What ruined you. What permanently skewed your understanding of lust and love. Why are you only fit for abusive relationships with emotionally-fragile whores ... ?"
Gant sat upward to aim both a glare and a sneer at the cocky prosecutor, but the situation changed dramatically when he noticed that Edgeworth, cleaned and dressed, standing across the room, had a semi-automatic pistol in his hand. Some 1911 model, from what he could see.
Phoenix: Woah.
Edgeworth: Wait.
Phoenix: Where did that gun come from?
Edgeworth: Gant doesn't seem to recognize it, so it's not his... perhaps it's mine...?
Both: ...
Phoenix: Either way you should shoot him.
Edgeworth: Wright...
Quote:
"Or were you born fucked? Some sort of chemical imbalance? The media has been tossing that term about a lot, recently. We live in a culture that creates an endless supply of excuses for twisted bastards, such as yourself, to avoid accepting responsibility for personal failures and deviant behavior."
Damon ... said nothing. But his expression seemed rather sour.
"I have your attention? Good. It's time to end our arrangement, Gant, as you've become increasingly aggressive and difficult to handle. I'm hoping we can keep this as simple as possible ... You leave my house, right now, and never make an effort to contact me again. Simple."
The police chief chose his words carefully: "I've done nothing to deserve this ... insulting, rejection."
Edgeworth: I think this a bit more than an "insulting rejection".
Phoenix: No, Edgeworth, an "insulting, rejection".
Edgeworth: I thought we were ignoring the excess commas.
Phoenix: Yeah, but you left yourself wide open with that one.
Quote:
"Hm. Really? You're too derranged to see fault in any of your actions ... the blackmail, the assault, forcing me to strip for you in my shower, extracting physical pleasure from me after I told you no and punched your jaw--"
"--I seem to remember you willingly licking my cock, when all that was said and done," Gant growled.
"Yes, I like your cock, and I admittedly used you for sex. Explain to me how that exonerates you."
No response.
"Is that how you justify the abuse your past lovers had received, from you? You used them, exerted your will over them ... and because you made sure they came once or twice--"
"--They enjoyed what I did to them; All of them!" Damon snapped.
" ... Perhaps they did. I still have no desire to continue indulging a physically-domineering, emotionally-manipulative partner. I wanted a routine fuck, not some bizarre entanglement with an amoral, obsessive hound."
Again, wordless.
Phoenix: Edgeworth... you might just be able to get out of this yet.
Edgeworth: ...isn't this only the fourth chapter?
Phoenix: Uh... maybe the rest of it is just between us.
Edgeworth: Wright, there's a fine line between optimism and foolishness. I'm not sure you know where it is.
Phoenix: (Yes I do. It's right at the junction of "Voicing my thoughts" and "Edgeworth disagreeing with me".)
Quote:
"Your ... for argument's sake we'll say chemical imbalance, has forced me to prematurely end this. It's a pity; I'll miss your body."
Gant's lip curled, struggling with silent fury.
Edgeworth watched the indignant police chief, "Used for sex and tossed aside, just after that embarrassing little love confession of yours, too ... it hurts, doesn't it?" tilting his head, " ... I wonder how many you've done this to. Just after they mentally succombed to your will, of course. When they thought they needed you. When they were desperate for you. That's when you became bored and moved on to the next whore, yes?"
"You'll regret this you little cunt," Gant snarled, leaping out of the bed.
Course, he stopped moving when Miles pointed the gun at him, cocking it. Damon bared his teeth like an enraged dog.
Phoenix: ...this is pretty dangerous, isn't it, Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: Well, I do have a gun.
Phoenix: Do you know how to use it?
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: But, um, then again I guess the important thing is that Gant
thinks you know how to use it.
Edgeworth: Yes.
Quote:
" ... I wish every person you've ever seduced, sullied and abused could see you right now: irrate and impotent."
"Do you honestly think you can do this to me?"
"Swallow your pride. Then get out," gun steady.
Gant breathed, struggling to calm himself. At another time, he'd find a way to punish the other for this ... embarrassment. He glanced at the bathroom door, where he had left his suit ...
"I didn't say retrieve your clothes. I said get out."
Damon's eyes went wide, infuriated.
"Not enjoying this humiliation ... ?"
"You fucking whore--"
"--Shut up," mockingly, "You like this."
Both: ...
Phoenix: You know, in a weird way, you're actually being pretty cool here.
Edgeworth: ..."cool"?
Phoenix: Yep. Instead of you up there, it's an action hero who just so happens to resemble you.
Edgeworth: ...thank you, Wright.
Phoenix: What?
Quote:
March 18, 6:54 AM
Prosecutor Edgeworth's House
---
Edgeworth watched Gant, stark naked, jog from the front door to his car and speed away.
As soon as the police chief was out of sight, Miles dropped the gun. The feelings of nausea he had barely managed to keep at bay in Damon's presence took his body. He fell to his knees after a rather violent gag. Holding himself, trembling. Had there been any food in his stomach, he would have vomited.
Prosecutors, the successful ones, can always pull off an entertaining performance; Even Edgeworth himself was shocked at what he was capable of.
I'm not ... like this ...
Phoenix: The neighbors could've gone without seeing naked Gant, though.
Edgeworth: I still don't understand why I had a gun.
Phoenix: At least you used it successfully.
Edgeworth: I think we both know it's going to come back to haunt me in the next chapter, Wright.
Phoenix: Which is starting now...
Quote:
March 18, 7:13 PM
Dick Gumshoe's Apartment
---
A knock at his door.
The detective put on a shirt, then went to open it.
He hadn't really been expecting a grim-faced prosecutor with a six-pack of beer.
Phoenix: Wait, you're going to Gumshoe? That's an odd pairing.
Edgeworth: ...hmm. Being paired up with Detective Gumshoe... that is odd.
Phoenix: ...you didn't seem to have a problem with being paired up with me.
Edgeworth: ...remind me how many times we've had to spork fics where we paired up?
Phoenix: So you're saying you're used to it?
Edgeworth: Unfortunately.
Quote:
" ... Edgeworth?"
Phoenix: Except Gumshoe's talking like me here...
Edgeworth: Even in fics that pair me with Detective Gumshoe and Damon Gant, it seems I can't escape you.
Phoenix: ...I'm in this fic, too, you know.
Edgeworth: You'll get no sympathy from me.
Quote:
"Hello, Gumshoe--"
"--Uhh. Are you ok?"
" ... I'm not sure, honestly," looking the detective in the eye.
"Have you been ... drinking ... ?"
" ... I had a few glasses of wine. This," gesturing toward the six-pack, "is a gift. I believe you mentioned liking Asashi Gold ... "
"Ah, you're welcome here anytime, pal! But, before coming in ... could you wait here for, like, five minutes?"
Edgeworth nodded.
Gumshoe disappeared into the house, leaving Miles to speculate what the detective was doing. Cleaning, he suspected. Grabbing boxers and socks off the floor, picking up empty glasses and food wrappers ...
When Miles was finally permitted entry, it was a small, disorganized place ... with a piece of cheap-looking furniture, here and there. And an odd smell, too.
Well. He had anticipated Gumshoe would be a bit of a ... slob.
Phoenix: ...isn't Gumshoe's apartment basically falling apart?
Edgeworth: In a situation like this... I would be more likely to leave the country.
Phoenix: Oh, come on.
Edgeworth: *sigh* Or go to you instead. At least you can pay your electricity bill.
Phoenix: You know, you could always raise Gumshoe's salary.
Edgeworth: It's not my fault he does more to deserve having his salary cut than he does to deserve having his salary raised.
Quote:
"The kitchen ... has a table," the thirty-year old bachelor announced, leading Edgeworth.
"Wonderful."
In the kitchen, the detective popped open one of his gifts.
"I think I have some cheap wine somewhere if you don't like beer ... "
"I'm fine," as Edgeworth sat down at the small wooden table.
"So ... " not really able to look at Miles, as he asked: "what happened?"
" ... A threat. A particularly colorful one," Edgeworth lied.
"Note?"
"Phone call."
"Know who it was?"
"No."
"Report it?"
"No. -- And I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone."
Phoenix: Oh, yes. Not suspicious. Not suspicious at all.
Edgeworth: Fic-me is insane, remember.
Quote:
Gumshoe eyed him.
"I get threats all the time, detective. It's one of the perks of being an extremely successful prosecutor."
"Well, if it makes you feel better ... Japan sees very few retaliatory crimes against law enforcers, lawyers and such."
Phoenix: ...wait, this takes place in Japan?
Edgeworth: And yet it uses the localized names?
Speakers:
The Management would like to remind Miles Edgeworth that breaking the fourth wall is prohibited.Edgeworth: ...I don't suppose I have any chance of handing off the other half of this fic to someone else.
Phoenix: Haha, it was nice knowing you.
Speakers:
The Management would like to inform Phoenix Wright that he's being punished, too.Phoenix: ...I should have known.
Edgeworth: *sigh*
Quote:
Miles went quiet, wondering if Gumshoe suspected his dishonesty.
Even if the detective had passed judgment ... Edgeworth's discomfort was palpable. Gumshoe had dealt with enough crime victims to detect genuine anxiety and there was no doubting Miles felt threatened ... whether the smaller details were true or not.
Edgeworth: Whose point of view is this from? Mine or Detective Gumshoe's?
Phoenix: I don't think consistency is this author's strong suit.
Quote:
"You can stay as long as you like, pal," as he attempted a comforting smile.
" ... I appreciate it, truly. I considered a hotel, but ... "
"Didn't want to be alone. That's a good idea. In fact, I should probably drive you to and from work--"
"--Unnecessary, I'm using vacation time."
"Ok, good. We'll stop by your house, tomorrow, and pick up whatever you need. Stop at the grocery store, too. Heh, I don't have much in the fridge, and I can't imagine you eating the instant-meals I live off of--"
"--I won't--"
"--I want you to impose, Edgeworth," Gumshoe interrupted, looking to the prosecutor, "I don't want you to leave here until you're ready. Whether it's a few days, weeks, or months ... it's fine with me."
Miles just looked at him. It's like the man had been waiting his whole life, to be someone's hero. Or perhaps it was his training as a detective, that gave him experience with consoling and protecting others.
Or maybe ... he was just a genuinely selfless person.
Phoenix: At least they have a pretty good grasp of Gumshoe's character, at least.
Edgeworth: Yes, he's fortunate to not have been dragged into all the... relationship drama.
Phoenix: You really couldn't think of another way to phrase that?
Edgeworth: I try to be tasteful at all times, Wright.
Quote:
"Oh, and, uhh ... I'll take the couch, you get the bed," Gumshoe added, face with a bit of color.
"Absolutely not," insulted.
"Listen ... you know how most people, if they spilled beer on the couch, they would, you know, clean it?"
" ... "
"I just flip the cushion ... -- But the bed? Clean, I promise."
" ... I'll take the bed."
Phoenix: Why are you insulted about taking the bed?
Edgeworth: I... don't know. Why does the author frequently employ dialogue tags that are only descriptors?
Phoenix: I don't know that, either.
Quote:
March 19, 11:47 PM
Phoenix Wright's Apartment
---
Phoenix had two major regrets concerning his failed relationship with Edgeworth.
The first, it failed.
Edgeworth: I knew it.
Phoenix: It was pretty obvious.
Edgeworth: I still wonder when it actually happened, though.
Phoenix: I don't think we'll find out.
Quote:
The second, they only made one homevideo together. That one video was a sex-tape, of course.
Both: ...
Edgeworth: I suddenly regret every comment I've made about our relationship in the fic.
Phoenix: A-At least it's consensual...?
Quote:
There Wright was ... watching it in the living room during another frustrating night alone.
Edgeworth: Am I narrating this all of a sudden?
Phoenix: Didn't know you were a voyeur, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: I'm kidding.
Edgeworth: I realize that. It wasn't funny.
Phoenix: Says you.
Quote:
The bedroom.
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Edgeworth muttered just as the taping began.
A dress-shirt and trousers. Roughly five strands of misplaced hair. Just about as casual as you can expect, from Miles.
Phoenix's face moved directly in front of the camera, looking into it.
"Is it on?"
" ... Do you see that little red light?"
[Phoenix is masturbating.]Phoenix: Oh, for the love of...
Edgeworth: How on earth did fic-you talk fic-me into this?
Phoenix: Fic-you is insane, remember?
Quote:
"Ok, ok!" he turned toward the prosecutor, rubbing his hands together, "Let's have passionate sex so that the Miles and Phoenix of the year 2060 can remember how hot, horny and happy, we were. And maybe future generations will see this and -- Hey!"
Phoenix: ...I don't want future generations watching this.
Edgeworth: Of course, it goes without saying that this is disturbing.
Phoenix: Less disturbing than Gant, though.
Edgeworth: That's like saying Death Valley is less hot than the sun.
Phoenix: Point taken.
Quote:
Edgeworth was unbuttoning his shirt.
"We're supposed to be undressing each other while passionately kissing."
"I wasn't sure when you'd be finished with your relentless bombardment of optimisim."
Wright moved to Miles, grabbing at those hands, "Can't handle it, Mr. Kill-joy McGrumpy? Let the onslaught continue ... "
He started finishing the last four buttons of Edgeworth's shirt while continuing his ... bombardment of optimisim,
Edgeworth: ...I apologize for criticizing your optimism.
Phoenix: Eh...
Quote:
"Puppy-dogs!--"
"Dear god," Miles muttered.
Wright leaned in for a quick kiss.
"Sunshine!--"
"--Stop."
Another kiss, another button.
"Fluffy kittens.--"
"--Have mercy."
Lips, again.
"Fifty-year anniversaries.--"
"--Please, no more"
Their fourth mouth-to-mouth.
"Giggling children."
" ... Creepy."
Phoenix: *face in hands*
Edgeworth: I honestly don't know if I want to laugh or not.
Phoenix: I am absolutely
mortified, and that's not even me up there.
Edgeworth: Laugh it is then.
Quote:
Phoenix leaned toward the TV screen, watching Edgeworth's lips curl into a smile during their fifth kiss.
Yeah. Phoenix wondered why the hell would he would bring up giggling children during attempted-sex, anyway.
Edgeworth: An excellent question...
Phoenix: This is a trainwreck.
Edgeworth: Hasn't the fic
already referred to your naked body as a trainwreck?
Phoenix: ...I wish the fic would stop spying on us.
Quote:
That's when it became lustful. Miles was undoing Phoenix's pants; Phoenix was removing Miles' shirt.
"I'm on top," Edgeworth stated, pushing Wright onto the bed. "And I came prepared," pulling a tube of lubricant from his pants. Phoenix doubted there was anything he could say that would change Miles' mind on this, but he figured he'd try.
"I wanted to be on top for the movie," squirming a bit, when Edgeworth moved on top of him.
"If this is going to be an accurate portrayal of our relationship, then I'm obligated to act as top. I'm on top for 70 of our sexual endeavors, and I'm better at it,"
Phoenix: *jawdrop* S-Seventy? We had sex at least
seventy times?!
Edgeworth: ...I believe it's missing a percentage sign, Wright.
Phoenix: ...oh, yeah. That would make more sense.
[The sex tape continues predictably. Edgeworth and Phoenix start bickering, predictably.]Phoenix: What do you mean "predictably"?
Speakers:
We've been watching you two spork for how long now?Phoenix: ...
Edgeworth: Are we done yet?
Quote:
Phoenix was still watching, post-orgasm. He never masturbated to this part, only took in the details. The way Miles buried his head into his shoulder, for example.
Gentle, as promised. They never talked during this kind of sex. Aside from Edgeworth occasionally whispering his name, they said nothing.
Edgeworth: ...somehow, this is even creepier.
Phoenix: Why was this scene even necessary?
Edgeworth: It's very clear that the author plotted around the porn.
Phoenix: Ugh...
Quote:
A bit unhappy, all of a sudden. He wondered if Mr. Sex-god ever took Edgeworth this way.
When it was finished, he seemed to have forgotten about the camera. They exchanged a few kisses, there were a few indecipherable whispers. In several minutes Phoenix had drifted off into a satisfied slumber.
Phoenix watched Edgeworth and himself, together. Miles touched his hair, before silently leaving the bed. Off-screen, he slid on a dark blue robe ... then moved in front of the camera.
Phoenix: Okay, really. Why was this scene even necessary?
Edgeworth: I assume the author thought their audience wanted to see you angsting about my supposed relationship.
Phoenix: Who in their right mind would want to see that?
Edgeworth: The same sort of people who look up M-rated fanfiction with you and me in it, I suppose.
Speakers:
How'd you know how we found this?Both: ...
Speakers:
...uh, the Management would like to inform Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth that we were totally only look for sporking purposes.Edgeworth: That doesn't make it any better.
Quote:
"One orgasm, sleeping like a infant. -- Hm. How do we end this? Perhaps a message, for Phoenix-2060?" He wondered , glancing off to the side... kind of amused by this silly idea of Wright's, "First of all, I never cum first. That was some sort of freak-accident."
A moment taken to ponder.
"I suppose ... knowing myself, I probably haven't said this enough times, to you. Even by the year 2060. So ... " silver eyes looking straight into the camera, said, "I'm happy, with you."
Phoenix put his hands over his face.
"Well, that's enough of this nonsense," before turning the camera off.
Phoenix: I would say that's pretty bittersweet, but...
Edgeworth: I don't want to hear it, Wright.
Phoenix: Yep.
Quote:
March 20, 4:03 PM
Phoenix Wright's Office
---
"Phoenix!!"
"What, Maya?"
"What are ... these?!"
" ... Why were you in my desk!?!"
"They're ... Karma Sutra flashcards!!"
" ... "
" ... Pervert!"
"You don't understand, Maya ... It's research! Edgeworth is a complete sex-addict!"
"Don't try to pin this on him! You've been lonely, jealous and desperate for months."
" ... "
" ... "
" ... That kind of hurt."
"The isolated, envious sex-pervert can't handle the truth, huh?"
Phoenix: What. No.
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: I can't believe this.
Edgeworth: Let's just move on, shall we?
Quote:
March 21, 2:47 PM
Phoenix Wright's Office
---
"Is Wright in there?"
"Yes, but he's on the phone ... " Maya explained.
"I'll wait for him to finish, then."
Edgeworth entered the office, wordlessly.
Edgeworth: Yes, I always come crawling back to you in these fics...
Phoenix: And your other options are...?
Edgeworth: Dying alone.
Phoenix: I was expecting you to say Gant.
Edgeworth: Dying alone is preferable to Gant, too.
Quote:
A silent nod was his greeting to Wright, who smiled, but did indeed have a phone against his ear.
"What brings you here?" Just after pressing the phone into his chest so his question to Edgeworth could not be heard by his babbling client.
"I came to check on the status of your Baby Octopi Liberation effort."
"I'm in negotiations with the Oppressors as we speak."
"Ah. Don't let me interrupt; I'll wait," leaning against the wall.
Phoenix returned the phone to his ear, not surprised that his client didn't even notice his absence. Several yeps, uh-huhs and sures later, the client finally hung up.
Phoenix kept the phone against his ear, though.
"... The US president has already agreed to lend military support for our efforts if talks go sour ... You heard me! ... I don't care what happened last time, they'll mess you up! ... And don't you dare touch an Octopus before I reach Pyongyang, you sick bastards," before hanging up his office phone with a dramatic slam.
Phoenix: ...okay, I'll admit that is actually kind of funny.
Edgeworth: Which is exactly why it's so out of place.
Phoenix: Oh, yes. We aren't allowed to have nice things. This is the sporking theatre, after all.
Edgeworth: Glad to know you're catching on.
Phoenix: (I've been in here as much as you have, you jerk.)
Quote:
" ... That was moving."
"Well, I'm passionate about this issue."
"And when will you be going to Pyongyang?"
"Tommorrowish."
"Hm. Pity."
" ... Huh? Why?"
"I've recently become available."
Wright froze momentarily.
" ... The free-for-lunch kind of available, or ... ?"
Edgeworth nodded, which brought a rather charming smile to the defense lawyer's face.
Edgeworth: I would not describe your smile as charming.
Phoenix: Please don't tell me what you
would describe it as.
Edgeworth: Hmph. If you insist.
Phoenix: (...great. Now I'm curious.)
Quote:
Phoenix opened his mouth to say something, couldn't remember what that something was, and settled on just watching Miles, for a minute.
"Have you nothing to say?"
Wright stood upward, moving in front of Edgeworth ... putting on a sexy smirk for his infatuation.
"So ... how much longer will you make your young, sexy, passionate plan-B lover wait?"
"When did you say those abs would be done ... ?"
" ... " with a frown.
"Kidding," Edgeworth explained, "I suspect I've two more weeks, before giving in to you."
Phoenix: If you were going to wait two weeks, why bother going and telling me you were "available"?
Edgeworth: To torment you, I assume.
Phoenix: ... *sigh*
Edgeworth: I really don't know what you were expecting.
Phoenix: I don't know either.
Quote:
Miles' admission brought that smirk back.
"So--"
"Before you speak, let me explain myself. Those comments about Mr. Sex-god's body. They weren't meant to wound your self-esteem and encourage you to seek out a gym-membership," Miles' gaze moved off to the side, "I acted smug and satisfied because I wanted you to move on."
"Well, I'm glad that plan failed miserably," cheerily. And failed miserably it did. Funny that the words aimed at crippling Wright's will to pursue him ended up encouraging Wright to triple his efforts at winning him back.
"My leaving you had nothing to do with sex, Wright. I'm not that vain."
"I never thought that was the reason, Edgeworth."
Phoenix was beginning to realize what was really bothering Miles about all this.
Phoenix: ...about the relationship? Because I still haven't figured that out.
Edgeworth: Nor have I. I've been too focused on the fact that I was having sex with Damon Gant.
Phoenix: At least that's over now.
Edgeworth: It'd be nice to believe that.
Phoenix: And now you've jinxed it.
Edgeworth: I believe the one jinxing it was you.
Quote:
"I might have made a mistake, Wright," he admitted, eyes shifting back toward Phoenix, "I might be making one now."
Edgeworth: *opens mouth*
Phoenix: Leave it alone, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Very well then.
Quote:
"You're going to have to commit a bit more before calling me a mistake ... " The young lawyer teased, placing his arm onto the wall beside Edgeworth's head, so his fingers could idly touch that odd-colored hair.
Edgeworth: ...my hair isn't odd.
Phoenix: Yeah, maybe for old men it isn't.
Edgeworth: Have you seen
your hair lately?
Phoenix: Yes, because your bangs are
so normal.
Edgeworth: I'm pretty sure they can't qualify as a weapon.
Phoenix: You'd better watch out, or I'll stab you with this "weapon". Take that!
Speakers:
Ahem.Both: ... *sigh*
Quote:
"Or avoid you entirely," the prosecutor tested.
"You should know by now that such a tactic won't work on me."
"Hm."
"So ... " a smirk again, "can you afford a kiss for your young, sexy, passionate plan-B lover?"
The edge of Miles' lip curled, amused.
Wright considered that a yes.
He pressed forward, beginning a very soft, sensual kiss. Just lips brushing against each other, initially. Edgeworth was the perfect height for him ... only having to tilt his head slightly downward to receive the prosecutor's mouth. Their tongues met ... and Phoenix's right arm snaked around Miles' waist, hand pressing into his back before slowly questing downward ...
Edgeworth: ...I told you I was available about two minutes ago.
Phoenix: I think I'm beginning to see why our last relationship failed. Also, I'm only 2 cm shorter than you.
Edgeworth: The more I look at the passage, the more I'm not entirely sure who the taller one is.
Quote:
"Mm," Edgeworth protested ... grabbing at that sneaky touch and pulling from Wright's kiss just as it began to get wild, "the young, sexy, passionate plan-B lover is being greedy."
"Your passionate, horny plan-B sexy-lover has been a little lonely ..."
"When did horny sneak in there?"
"Sometime between kissing you and nearly touching your butt," Phoenix declared, still holding him, massaging the prosecutor's lower back.
Edgeworth: *puts face in hands and sighs*
Phoenix: This conversation is a trainwr... a disaster.
Edgeworth: This fic is a disaster.
Quote:
"I have to return to my office ... "
"But, we're having a moment."
"Remove yourself from me or I'll be forced to ruin the moment."
"Ha. You can't ruin this moment."
"Hm. Really?"
"Really."
Edgeworth moved close to Wright's mouth, and said in a teasing little whisper: "Two nights ago, these lips were sucking on someone else's dick."
" ... Yeah, you murdered it." Phoenix stepped back. Smiling, though.
Phoenix: I really didn't want to know that.
Edgeworth: Neither did I, for that matter, but there it is anyway.
Quote:
Miles stayed still, for a moment ... a hint of amusement on his face. He moved next to the other, leaning to speak
softly in his ear: "That wasn't supposed to give you an erection."
Phoenix swallowed, gazing down at his own bulge. Of course Edgeworth would notice ... "You said lips, suck and dick in the same sentence. We can't hold him accountable," he explained, voice as quiet as Edgeworth's.
" ... 'him?'" as he quirked a brow, "Do you still talk to your penis, Wright?"
Both: *groan*
Quote:
March 21, 3:11 PM
Outside of Phoenix Wright's Office
---
Maya pressed her ear against the door, struggling to hear the two lawyers' conversation.
She thinks Phoenix said something about a kiss ... but both men became quiet, afterwards. Certain they were still talking, she strained her ear, held her breath ...
"Maya. Get off the door; I don't want to hit you."
Edgeworth!
Maya hopped back, colored How Embarrassing Red.
Miles pushed through the door, sparing a glance toward the panic-stricken girl.
"How did you know ... ?" She squeaked.
"I assume you do this all the time and Wright never noticed."
" ... Yes," she was flat-out unable to lie to the enigmatic prosecutor.
"I suppose someone should be keeping tabs on him. -- Have a good evening, Maya," as he moved to leave.
"Mr. Edgeworth?"
"Yes?"
"For your guys' lunch conversation tomorrow ... " she grinned widely, "maybe you should ask Nick about his ... 'research.' "
"Hm," looking smug, " I will."
Phoenix: Why does Maya have to get dragged into this, too?
Edgeworth: Quit whining. For all we know, her role will never get any less minor than it is here.
Phoenix: I'm not whining.
Edgeworth: You most definitely are.
Phoenix: Am not.
Edgeworth: We're not starting this, Wright.
Phoenix: Fine, be that way.
Quote:
March 21, 3:14 PM
Phoenix Wright's Office
---
Phoenix, at his desk, smiling.
"Aww, you're glowing," Maya pointed out.
Phoenix covered his eyes, "Just ... ignore the dopey look on my face."
Edgeworth: That's rather hard to do.
Phoenix: Hey!
Quote:
"So! You two are back together ... ?" forever serving as Wright's little cheerleader.
"Maybe. Well, probably, but ... not yet."
The odd answer made her blink.
"Ok. You don't get it ... "
"Get what?" Maya asked.
"This is going to sound ... ridiculous. But ... he did something, when we were nine years-old, that changed my view on ... everything. My opinions on
and humanity, how I live my life, becoming a lawyer ... he was the source. It was all him. And when he was, mine ... "
Edgeworth: You realize, of course, that most people-
Phoenix: Let's not get into this conversation, okay?
Edgeworth: I'm just pointing out that it's extremely odd.
Phoenix: Yeah, yeah.
Quote:
Maya smiled.
But Wright's expression became ... vulnerable.
"I don't ... understand why he left me. He never really explained it. All I have are suspicions. I think he's become some sort of ... weird combination, of both pride and self-loathing. Maybe he has some sort of vendetta against happiness.
Phoenix:
Well...
Edgeworth: Wright.
Phoenix: Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: No.
Quote:
Maybe he thinks I'm a silly child.
Edgeworth: Because that's exactly what you are in this fic.
Phoenix: I... yeah, I can't figure out how to possibly object to that.
Quote:
I don't know. He left, and, I thought I'd be ok as just-friends ... so I tried to let go, but I couldn't. He mentioned a new man and I, got desperate ... Edgeworth recognized that, and tried to push me away."
Maya frowned at the shift in the story's mood.
"But, I didn't give up. And he's, giving in. He's giving in," nodding, smiling again, "I'm going to get him back. No more anxiety. He'll be mine, again, and ... I won't let him go, this time."
Edgeworth: That... is extremely creepy. It makes you sound like a yandere.
Phoenix: Like a what?
Edgeworth: Nothing.
Quote:
March 26, 1:06 PM
Police Department
---
"Gumshoe!" as Phoenix ran toward his desk.
"Hey, pal."
"Have you seen Edgeworth?" He was being a bit loud ... always the excitable child.
" ... What?"
"His secretary is telling me he's been on vacation since last Thursday, but I went out to lunch with him on Saturday and he didn't even mention anything. And I've been calling his cell and stopping by his house the last few days ... He's not there, even when he should be home sleeping. I can't get in touch with him."
"Oh, well, uhh ... he's been, at my house."
Phoenix stared at him.
"What?!"
Could it be ... Mr. Sex-god?!
Both: *stare at screen in open-mouthed horror* ... *burst into laughter*
Quote:
"I ... don't believe it!" and he jumped at Gumshoe, "Show me your pecs!"
"Hey, hey, HEY!" the detective shouted as Wright began squeezing his pecs through his shirt.
Man-boobs ... definitely not Mr. Sex-god!
Phoenix: H-Hey, wait, this isn't funny anymore.
Edgeworth: On the contrary, Wright. It's even funnier.
Phoenix: Wipe that smirk off your face before I do it for you.
Edgeworth: Bluffing violence is much less effective when I am
sitting right next to you.
Phoenix: *pouts*
Edgeworth: (The fic is more accurate than he thinks when it describes him as child...)
Quote:
They were being loud.
They were attracting attention.
And, of course, Damon Gant, who had been discussing a case with one of the detectives in the corner of the room, noticed them.
"Back off, pal!" swatting Phoenix's hands away, "What the hell is the matter with you?!"
"How distracting. Shouldn't we save shameless displays of affection for when we're off-duty, detective Gumshoe?" Gant questioned, joining the two.
"H-he ... just started groping me! This is sexual assault!" Gumshoe explained, face flushed.
Phoenix: *puts head in hands* I can't believe there's a fanfic where I actually sexually assaulted Gumshoe.
Edgeworth: More to the point... the fic acknowledges that sexual assault exists. Which begs the question, what was the author thinking when it came to Gant and me?
Phoenix: ...that you'd be too prideful to report him?
Edgeworth: ...there's no shame in being a victim.
Phoenix: That's what you
say, but-
Edgeworth: Now is neither the time nor the place for this discussion, Wright.
Quote:
"Well, you're in the perfect place to file for a restraining order.--"
"--Why is Edgeworth staying with you?" Wright asked almost glumly, somehow managing to ignore that extra-large serving of orange beef standing next to them.
Damon's smile vanished.
"Someone threatened him recently and he wanted a place to stay, for a while," Gumshoe gruffed, adjusting his shirt.
"Did he file a report?" Gant inquired. Very quick to ask, lest he get interrupted again.
" ... No. Said he got threats all the time, so there wasn't any point."
"How silly of him. As a prosecutor, he should know that having police records proving a history of suspicious harassment can only help protect him from future harm."
Edgeworth: ...he actually does have a point.
Phoenix: That's kind of scary.
Edgeworth: Well, it couldn't have made it to be Chief of Police without occasionally having a point, I suppose.
Quote:
"Well. He seemed a bit ... distraught, over the whole thing. Don't think he was in a clear state-of-mind."
"It must have been bad, to unnerve Edgeworth ... " Phoenix stated, briefly musing as to why Miles wouldn't ... at least, say something to him. The prosecutor seemed to be in a rather good mood when he visited Wright's office and went out to lunch with him ... "Gumshoe. Is he ... ok?"
The detective smiled, "Doing a lot better, now. He said he's going back to work starting Sunday."
Gant tilted his head to the side, then said, "I wish he had trusted in our police department. Of course we would do our best to protect the men and women who uphold the law.--"
"--One would hope the police force would do their best to protect any and all potential victims," Phoenix pointed out.
Damon blinked at this ... obnoxious young man.
Phoenix: Hey!
Edgeworth: *snickers*
Phoenix: ...
Edgeworth: No pouting, Wright.
Phoenix: Oh, yes, because pouting is exactly why you were called in over this fic.
Edgeworth: ...shut up.
Quote:
A rather awkward silence ensued.
Gant folded his arms about his chest, and began to wonder why this ... character, was asking about Edgeworth. "Such a thorough understanding of the
system ... you must be a lawyer," Gant said, tone so synthesized that it put Phoenix on edge.
" ... Yes, a defense lawyer. Not too much experience, but I've yet to lose a case," he explained. Now he couldn't ignore this strange man, even if he wanted to.
"Then you ... should, know who I am. Damon Gant, chief of this fine department," extending a hand, lazily.
"Phoenix Wright," shaking that hand.
More silence.
Gant continued to stare.
Wright looked away.
Gumshoe shifted, uncomfortable.
Phoenix: ...
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: Say something, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Something.
Phoenix: Har, har, har.
Edgeworth: You asked.
Quote:
... Is this man the one who kept you from me, Worthy? Damon decided to test this theory.
"So Gumshoe," switching the subject, a wide smirk on his face, "are the rumors about Edgeworth ... true?"
Both of them looked at Damon with a questioning expression.
"Huh?"
"You know ... those rumors," Gant repeated, before forming a circle with his left hand and lifting it toward his own lips, mimicking the motions of a blow job.
Both men's faces went pale.
Edgeworth: -in the middle of the Criminal Affairs Department?!
Phoenix: Um, apparently.
Edgeworth: I... I don't even know what to say to that.
Phoenix: This is surreal.
Quote:
"I heard he'll get his mouth on you within moments of dropping your pants ... ah, if only I were several years younger ... Typically, I prefer women, but I'd make an exception for Edgeworth," stroking his beard, as though he were imagining the act.
Gumshoe looked downward as though he were thinking about it, too ...
Edgeworth:
What.
Phoenix: Oh, this conversation isn't going to end well.
Edgeworth: Isn't going to end well? It didn't even begin well.
Phoenix: In other words, it's appropriate for this fic.
Edgeworth: Well, at least there's
one context where it's appropriate.
Phoenix: See? You can be optimistic if you try!
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: I think I'm funny.
Edgeworth: You'd be the only one.
Quote:
Phoenix became heated -- and not in a sexual way. "Ok, first," and he smacked Gumshoe's arm pretty hard, "Don't try anything; Edgeworth just got out of a relationship and he's likely feeling emotionally-vulnerable."
"I wasn't going to do anything!" Gumshoe huffed, "I'm a gentleman."
Emotionally-vulnerable? I doubt it. Gant mused, though he did like the thought of Edgeworth being damaged, by that whole little episode.
Phoenix: And so I come leaping to your defense...
Edgeworth: Why is "emotionally vulnerable" hyphenated?
Phoenix: Why is that the only thing you take away from this passage?
Edgeworth: Because you leap to just about everyone's defense. I don't know why fanfic authors continue to think that you sticking up for me is somehow significant.
Phoenix: ...that doesn't mean you can get away with not thanking me.
Edgeworth: Oh yes I can.
Quote:
"Second, that rumor is a lie. Edgeworth is picky when it comes to relationships, sexual or otherwise. What's more is that he prefers monogamous, long-term relationships, sexual or otherwise. So, the connotation that he would ... suck off, anybody who flashed their penis at him, is an outrageous lie. The world may wish Edgeworth was that easy, but that doesn't make it true. He must've ... offended someone here, with one of his brutally honest observations. It's the only explanation I have for why such a ridiculous allegation would be--"
Phoenix: Did you die and I somehow turn into a Fey? Because I am clearly channeling you here.
Edgeworth: Except you didn't use the word "connotation" correctly.
Phoenix: Appreciate my efforts, will you?
Quote:
"--You seem awfully certain of this," smoothly, "Where do you get your information from?"
"We're childhood friends.
Edgeworth: ...that... really doesn't explain it...
Phoenix: Maybe I'm trying to convince him I'm just making assumptions.
Edgeworth: In that case, your entire spiel was next to worthless.
Phoenix: Yeah, thanks.
Quote:
-- On that note, where do you get your information from, Mr. Gant? A man in your position shouldn't be promoting such slanderous gossip. You're the chief of police, not a desperate, bored housewife, and it's an embarrassing statement on how this department is run, honestly."
Gumshoe, and some of the other detectives nearby, were staring ... shocked by the random rookie lawyer that had strut into the police building and was now trying to emasculate Damon Gant.
However, after Phoenix was finished with his ... cute little display of loyalty, Gant slowly smiled. A moment later, he even added chuckle.
"Forgive me, Mr. Wright. I was only teasing detective Gumshoe. Consider it a display of blue-collar humor."
"That isn't-- "
"--My professional career has actually crossed paths with Prosecutor Edgeworth's numerous times ... and I've nothing but respect for him, and everything he has accomplished within the legal community at such a young age. In fact, I even recommended him for several high-profile trials to my good friend, chief prosecutor Lana Skye. I've observed both his character and skill for years, now ... and feel he is quite worthy of his mentor, the flawless prosecutor Manfred Von Karma, also a good friend of mine."
Phoenix: ...which should be a neon warning sign.
Edgeworth: Unless, somehow, von Karma didn't go to jail any more than Gant did.
Phoenix: ...
Edgeworth: This is the worst AU ever.
Phoenix: You can say that again.
Quote:
Phoenix became quiet, unsure whether he could believe this strange man ...
Gant was still wearing his rather wide smile. It was time for the young lawyer to leave, he decided, now that he had extracted plenty of information from this conversation.
"Unfortunately, Mr. Wright, we've created a bit of a scene, here. Unless you're pursuing court-related business, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You seem prone to rather noisy outbursts ... and while I do admire your zealous nature, it can be quite distracting to the important work which is being done here. Having said this, if you're ever in need of my professional assistance ... you are always welcome."
Leave it to Damon ... to smother a situation with insincerity.
They all scattered like worthless insects.
Phoenix departed with a wordless nod. Gumshoe excused himself, wanting to avoid any more confrontation. The nosy detectives went back to their work.
Gant stood there, with a cool expression.
It was time to reclaim his prince.
Edgeworth: ...oh.
Phoenix: Well, it was nice while it lasted.
Edgeworth: I fear that the rape will be unambiguous this time.
Phoenix: Maybe I'll come swooping in to your rescue this time around.
Edgeworth: Or maybe, as this is more likely, it will only cause further relationship drama between the two of us.
Phoenix: It's not like fic-me has a great track record of actual intelligence and
no commenting that real me doesn't have a great track record there either.Edgeworth: I don't need to. You did it yourself.
Phoenix: ... (I'm going to blame him anyway.)
Quote:
March 27, 3:06 PM
Dick Gumshoe's Car
---
"Hey. -- Hold on a sec. I'm driving, so I'll put you on speaker," then did so before offering a more proper greeting, "Hello, this is detective Gumshoe."
"Hello, Gumshoe."
"Hey, Edgeworth! How are you feeling?" He split his attention between Miles and the road ... trying to multitask was always difficult, for him.
Phoenix: Ugh, he's going to run into a telephone pole again. Poor Gumshoe.
Edgeworth: That hasn't happened yet in this fic.
Phoenix: ...yeah, come to think of it... if this were real life, right about now, I'd think you were dead.
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: And if the author wanted relationship drama between us, why not just use that? That's probably the most dramatic that any of my relationships have ever been.
Edgeworth: Didn't you have a girlfriend who tried to kill you?
Phoenix: Yeah, but you're- ...I just realized there's no graceful way out of this conversation.
Edgeworth: That's what you get for bringing up the time I "chose death".
Phoenix: Yeah, yeah...
Quote:
"Very well."
"So you're home now, right? Are you comfortable? If not--"
"I am comfortable. And I understand your door is always open."
"Good, good."
"And thank you, for everything."
"Not a problem."
After a quiet moment, "I consider it my duty as a prosecutor to explore the criminal mind ... and try to understand the methods, the logic, of the filth of humanity ... strictly so that I can vilify them in court to the utmost extent. Unfortunately, I sometimes feel I'm ... absorbing the vindictive behavior, I see from such people. Or perhaps this ... harshness, I feel, was always there, and I've only recently become conscious of it."
"Edgeworth, you're not--"
"--Anyway. It's ... a necessity, that I interact with people like you ... to remind myself that I don't live in a world entirely composed of vicious behavior and ill intentions."
Phoenix: That's kind of touching.
Edgeworth: It is, actually.
Phoenix: Which means, of course, that it's grossly out-of-character.
Edgeworth: Excuse you.
Quote:
" ... "
"Forgive me; I haven't been working, and that's given me too much time for self-reflection."
"You're too hard on yourself. You have a high moral standard, and that's why you're such a good prosecutor. And it's also why you're beating yourself up for nothing. Not because you're somewhat evil and you understand evil or you're an evil-sponge and whatever else you might have mentioned while I absent-mindedly made a left at a red light ... "
" ... I better hang up before you kill yourself; Just one thing, though. Can you stop by my office on Sunday, around two? I want to go over your testimony for the Bongani case. I realize it's your day off, so I'll ... treat you to lunch, afterwards."
"Heh. Ok, sure."
"Don't forget."
"Nope."
"And, again ... you've my sincerest gratitude."
"Anytime."
Phoenix: Maybe you should raise his pay.
Edgeworth: Did Detective Gumshoe put you up to this?
Phoenix: No, of course not. He barely ever complains about his low pay... mainly because you'd probably cut his pay for complaining.
Edgeworth: ...
Quote:
March 29, 7:39 AM
Prosecutor Edgeworth's Office
---
Chloroform.
Both: Uh oh.
Quote:
Movies always do it wrong.
You can't put a few drops of it on a rag, smack it against someone's mouth and then they just instantly fall unconscious. It takes a fairly decent amount to put someone to sleep. And it takes some time, too. Almost a full minute, if not more.
During this time, strong-willed prey, like Edgeworth, will struggle.
The prosecutor had made a few mistakes. Telling Gumshoe he was going to return to work on a Sunday and being too distracted by the police report in his hand to check the corners of his office for any lurking danger, when he entered.
Gant was quick. Rag on those lips, arm around that waist.
Phoenix: *gets up* Well, it was nice knowing you, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: Get back here, Wright. *drags him back into his seat* This is your punishment too.
Quote:
"The only prosecutor masochistic enough to work on a Sunday," he whispered in that ear, as Edgeworth twisted wildly in his grip. One hand was attempting to claw at his face. Using his large body, he shoved the squirming man into the wall. Pure strength allowed Damon to pin Miles' head between his shoulder and rag-wielding hand.
"I would have preferred to do this to you at night, in the privacy of your home," squeezing that body, "But Gumshoe has been staking out your house for the past two nights. Did you realize that? Such a nice guy, really. And so smitten with you. You should have sucked him off, once or twice. Drank a genuinely nice guy's cum."
Edgeworth: Eurgh.
Phoenix: Again, poor Gumshoe.
Edgeworth: Poor me.
Phoenix: Poor you is 99% of the fic, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: I know.
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Edgeworth's struggling began to weaken, considerably. When he began to lose the ability to stand on his own, Damon pulled that body against his, supporting it ...
Gloved hand snatched that chin, pulling that face up to look into those dazed eyes. "Instead, you drank my cum ... you're far more of a whore than you'd care to admit, Worthy."
"Mm," was the only response Miles could offer.
Gant smirked as he witnessed the prosecutor's drug-induced torpor. "Feels like an orgasm, doesn't it?" He pressed a hand between Edgeworth's legs, groping that covered erection. "Seems your dick loves chloroform ... "
Both: What.
Speakers:
Yeah. Everything in this fic gives people boners.Phoenix: No one asked you!
Speakers:
Hmph.Quote:
That body arched, weakly, at his touch.
"I met your little boy-toy, Mr. Wright. Childhood lovers? He was quite precious ... unassuming, sweet, honest. Nothing like you, Worthy. That's where your shame derives from, yes? A contemptuous, manipulative slut like yourself doesn't belong with him," hand sliding underneath the rim of Miles' pants, stroking that flesh directly, now, "you belong with me."
Both: ...
Phoenix: *starts singing*
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you-Edgeworth: For the love of god, Wright, stop it before you do permanent damage to my ears.
Phoenix: Like you could do better.
Edgeworth: I'm not even going to respond to that.
Quote:
No sneers. Only soft breathing. Damon chuckled, watching his defenseless toy. He rather liked seeing the attorney, like this.
"Far too pretty," touching that lower lip with his thumb, before returning that rag to Edgeworth's mouth to finish the job.
He nuzzled into that pale cheek, before whispering ... "I'm going to do horrible, horrible things to you."
Both: We know.
[The lights come back on.]Phoenix: *gets up, stretches* So, the other half of the fic?
Speakers:
If you're lucky, we might give you a third person.Phoenix: Sounds like a hollow promise to me.
Edgeworth: And backtalk like that is exactly the reason why you're here, Wright. *gets up* Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go home and take a very, very long shower.
Phoenix: Yeah, have fun with that. Try not to think about the shower scene in this fic.
Edgeworth: You just have to ruin everything, don't you?
Phoenix: Yep. That's my job.
Edgeworth: It is not.
Phoenix: Is too...
[And so our still-bickering sporkers leave. What happens in the remaining five chapters? And did anyone ever tell those two there's a sequel? Find out next time, and by next time I mean either tomorrow or next week. Don't you love school?]