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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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I don't think animals should be translated, but it's possible to write them by describing their body language.

The problem for me is that text on its own doesn't give me anything. I need something visual, sensual or audible to accompany it in order to make sense of what is happening. When you put emoticons as (part of) dialogue, you might as well write:
Quote:
Animal: *snerples*

Yes, I see there is a verb there, the animal is doing something. But what am I looking at?

Quote:
Animal: O.O

I understand this animal is making big eyes. I understand that because I'm familiar enough with this particular emoticon. However, I don't actually see the animal making big eyes. What I see is the existence of an animal, and what appears to be a text message on a billboard in front of it. The animal itself isn't doing anything here, there is no descriptive text as should be. At best, the animal is saying "O" twice. It's just... disruptive, I guess? It throws me out of my beautiful imagination.
It's like playing the games and suddenly, instead of dialogue, the character I'm talking to offers me two broken lines of programmers' code. Even if I can technically see the words in there, the atmosphere is lost.

It's hard to describe... but like I said, body language would be a good tactic IMHO. Just like how we use descriptive text to describe when the human sporkers do something (such as *clears his throat*, or *pouts*), instead of putting it like this:
Quote:
Phoenix: :udgey:

Judge: I don't appreciate that. ònó
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Racing through the sky like a Missile

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Ah, I see where you're coming from. I always imagined Widget just making those emoticons, since it has emoticons for a face; but with Taka, he gets his own special tablet to input them and shoves the thing in people's faces. Perhaps that was a detail I should have mentioned the first time.
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1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Okay, I suppose that can work for Taka. (Great, now I want to see the Ace Attorney pets playing a quiz show. ;))
I don't think just any animal should be that tech savvy, though. One is believable - all of them, less so.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Racing through the sky like a Missile

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I think we'll have to leave that stuff to the fanfic writers. XD And if it comes around to being sporked, there still should be some humans to accompany them. The most Missile seems to understand outside of his job are Samurai Dogs. (He is a very smart doggie, yes, but his stomach speaks louder than his barks. Kinda like his trainer/owner.)
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Missile in the sporking theatre, barking at the fic randomly and incessantly, and then everyone figures out that he's actually barking every time a plot hole shows up?
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Racing through the sky like a Missile

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Gumshoe better be around, then. They make the perfect pair.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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[Welcome back to the Sporking Theater, the Happiest Place on Earth!I still don't see why we're adding these taglines all of a sudden.]
Todays Sporkers for Ms. Maya (Chapter 2) are....
:maya: Ms. Maya herself...
Hey! It's Ms. Mighty Mystic Maya. *pouts*
:larry: Larry Butz
I get to appear in this chapter...right?
:phoenix: Phoenix Wright
I'm here again? Just great.
:edgeworth: Miles Edgeworth
Oh god...there aren't any children here, right?

Phoenix: Unless you're talking about the fic, there aren't any children here.

Edgeworth: ...I wouldn't be so sure if I were you, Wright. *looks at the other two*

Larry: Hey! The gang's all here! Doesn't it make you feel like a kid again?

Maya: And we're all here for a fic where I'm the teacher! Listen to the grown-ups, kids!

Larry: I'd be glad to listen to whatever you say, Ms. Maya!

Maya: That's Ms. Mighty Mystic Maya! Now let's say it together, everyone! "Ms. Mighty Mystic Maya"...

Phoenix: ...You have a point there, Edgeworth.

[the lights dim]

Quote:
Maya entered the classroom of her class. She was now teaching them Biology (1). She was now a substitute for their Science teacher Mr. Holmes.


Maya and Phoenix *fake sobs*
Maya: Oh how could they take Mr. Holmes out of the fic! he was the best character, even including canon.

Phoenix: It is truly a great loss. Excuse me Management, could we have a moment of silence?

Management: Very well. Even we are heart broken by this great loss.







Management: Now, *sob* could we please *sob* continue?

Edgeworth: Wait...they're not acting? They're actually moved by this?

Quote:
"So, class. Biology is a hard subject because you have to memorize these cells in this poster," she said, pointing to a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally big poster behind her, "that I drew last night. Also, you have to memorize the cell structure."


Phoenix: Professionalism at it's finest. I salute you, Ayam!

Maya: Wait a minute...I thought this was kindergarten? Why do we teach Biology?

Phoenix: They let you take burgers in, so I doubt an educational subject would matter.

Edgeworth: So, may I ask why Maya is teaching? She isn't qualified to be a teacher, as far as I know.

Maya: Because I'm the teacher in this fic.

Edgeworth: That's not the point. A perfectly good teacher such as Mr. Holmes is absent, and it doesn't explain why.

Maya: That's not important! What is, is that I'm the teacher! :-P

Edgeworth: I would think the author would do better to at least mention a hint about it.

Phoenix: Come on, Edgeworth. Do you really think a story that might be written by a kid would care for those details?

Edgeworth: E-even then, it's only fair to the readers that...

Phoenix: When has a fic in this theater been "fair" to its readers?

Edgeworth: Doh! *truth bar explodes*

Phoenix: Besides, as I said before, in the previous part she smuggled in burgers.

Edgeworth: ...

Maya: Hey, don't question the burgers!

Edgeworth: L-Let's just move on.

Larry: I'm not going to appear...am I?

Quote:
The class stared blankly at her. "If it's so hard, then why are you going to teach it to us?" a little girl asked.


Phoenix: The kids have a point, I doubt Maya, let alone these children, would be able to learn biology. Unless she'll channel a cow with experience in the subject *tries to hold laughter*

Edgeworth: W-What ever happened in the previous part, I don't want to know.

Maya: I wonder if I really can channel ham? :maya-thought:

Larry: No! My cute little Maya can't turn into a fat cow!

All: ...

Edgeworth: You're probably unaware of what you just said.

Larry: I'm completely aware of what I just said! I said I don't want Maya to turn into a fat cow, what's so bad about that?

Phoenix: Even you couldn't be this oblivious to what you just said...right?

Larry: Huh? Why are you all looking at me like that? :larry:

Maya: Let's just move on, obviously he doesn't get it.
:nick-sweat: :sad-maya: :edgeworth:
:butzthumbs:

Quote:
"Oh, that's a wonderful question, Amy!" Maya replied."Well, you will be learning them, but I won't teach 'em to you because it confuses me too. I'll just leave Mr. Holmes to explain it to you later when he gets better. So, since it's Biology, I'll explain what parents dread to explain to children like you: where babies come from!" Maya clapped her hands.


Edgeworth: What was this rated again?

Speakers: K+

Larry: I was told they came from-

Maya: A stork.

Larry: What? No, I heard they came fro-

Quote:
The class of first graders looked at each other. "Why don't they want to tell us where babies come from?" asked a little boy.

"Because, they're parents! They're supposed to ruin all our fun! Besides, Nick won't tell me where they come from too! I found out from Detective Gumshoe yesterday."

The class gave a chorus of 'oooooooh's


Larry: So Nick and that detective guy get a mention...but I haven't appeared?

Phoenix: Management, you haven't lied to him again, have you?

Speakers: Just wait, you'll appear eventually, Mr Butz.

Larry: I hope I do, or I won't come again!

Edgeworth: You have no power over that, Larry.

Quote:
"Okay, let me explain the process in detail for you. Now, sit down properly and pick up a pencil. You need to write this down and study this for your end of year exam."

The class chorused a one-syllable word once again. Seriously, they need to speak more. One-syllable words are not good for their health.

"Okay, this is how it starts. Two grown-ups of different genders fall in love."

The kids copied it down. "What if two adults of the same gender fall in love?" some random kid asked.


Larry: Yeah, what would happen?

Edgeworth: We're not here to voice our opinion on homosexuality, let's continue.

Quote:
"Well, those people are called gay. You will learn that later on."


Larry: Oh, those are those weird people right?

Maya: No! Gays are usually just like you or me! Who cares what they get up to in private.

Phoenix: I actually agree with Maya. I don't know why they're bringing it up in the fic though.

It is mentioned several times that the children are taking notes, we'll skip those parts

Quote:
"Moving on, when they fall in love, they get married and the ring on their fingers show that they are married and that is why when adults get married, they wear rings on their left hands."
"The ring is kind of like a signaling device for storks."


Phoenix: And now we're back to comedy.

Larry: B-But my parents said they came when they-

Edgeworth: Larry. No.

Quote:
"The storks then raid their house, looking for the couple's photos. Then, they steal it. You see, since they're birds, they don't go to jail for those kinds of crimes. It's unfair, really. They get to do it but we can't."


Edgeworth: *opens mouth*

Phoenix: No. It's supposed to be funny and nothing else.

Edgeworth: To be shut down by you of all people...

Quote:
"Then, they eat fish and shape it to look kind of like their parents. That is why children look like their parents. When all that is done, they wrap them up in a big cloth and carry the babies in their mouth."


Maya: Ayam! That's gross!

Phoenix: So does that mean we're all fish?

Edgeworth: Yes, Wright. We are all fish. *rolls eyes*

Phoenix: I was being sarcastic to y'know!

Larry: This is boring, I'm going to sleep until I appear.

Speakers: Look, we feel bad for lying to you, so we'll allow it. Just this once.

All: W-What?

Speakers: Why are you surprised, Mr. Wright, Ms. Fey., you were the ones who said it was low, even for us, and we thought we should bring him all chapters until he appears. He really is quite important in the fic

Phoenix: Fine. *crosses arms*

Quote:
"One more thing, doctors are in it as well. They provide the hospital for the storks to land and deliver the babies. That is why people use the term 'delivering babies'. Any questions?"

A little kid raised his hand and asked, "If storks do the delivering, why were our mommies pregnant?"

"That's another wonderful question! You will get a burger on your way out later. Well, you see, being pregnant is a woman's excuse for being fat. They purposely become fat so that the storks will come to them as the fat ladies are also signals. Any other questions?"


Phoenix: Yes, lots.

Edgeworth: If we asked them all we'd never finish the sporking.

Larry: *snore*

Quote:
Another kid did the same, "Then, why do they say that babies come from their mommies' belly?"

"You see, doctors are evil. So they are trying to trick people that babies being born are because of their help and intelligence. They don't give credit to the poor storks! Also, it is a perfect explanation for the 'fat lady' excuse."

The children nodded their head in agreement, remembering their horrible memories with the dentist.


Phoenix: At least this is somewhat accurate to how children think.

Edgeworth: What? I was never afraid of the dentist.

Phoenix: Normal children with normal childhoods.

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: I didn't mean that incident! Sorry, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: ...

Quote:
"Any more questions?"

"Why do women have babies and not men?" a little boy asked.

"Because, we women are special and you men are not!" Maya concluded.

"Now you know where babies come from. If you ask Mr. Holmes, he'll give you a different version. Don't listen to him. He's lying. I can tell, because the dead tell them to me!"


Phoenix: Well, men aren't special like you, because you're a Fey.

Maya: And I'm also a woman, so I'm awesome regardless of my heritage.

Phoenix: Well, sorry for not being part of the "awesome" side. *rolls eyes*

Edgeworth: I suppose you'll then claim that society would do better under a matriarchy?

Maya: ...I was just kidding, guys. You sure are taking it a lot harder than I thought.

Phoenix: (We can never tell with you...)

Quote:
"Yes, Miss Maya!" the children chorused again. Are they in a choir or something? They don't have those angelic voices like those people in churches…Or do they?

AFTER SCHOOL:
The principal walked over to Maya's class. He asked a little girl what she had learnt that day. She replied, "Ms. Maya told us where babies came from! She's the best teacher ever! No one else would tell us before she did! Those storks are really kind creatures!"

The principal gaped at her. "I see…" he finally said.

One more day to add to the list of days she had filled children's brains with non-sense.


Edgeworth: At least this principal seems to have some sense.

Maya: I think he was the one who let Ayam take in burgers.

Edgeworth: ...I didn't say he lacked responsibility.

Phoenix: Well anyway, I don't see why nonsense is spelled non-sense here.

[the lights come back on]

Larry: Ugh, what? Are we done?

Phoenix: It seems we are.

Larry: Well I'm leaving. I'm not coming again.

Edgeworth: As I said earlier, you don't have a choice.

Larry: Sure I don't.

[Larry leaves the theater]

Edgeworth: I'll be frank, that fic didn't make much sense, but if Maya were a teacher I bet that'd happen.

Maya: Hey!

Edgeworth: Anywho, I'll be leaving, I have work to do.

[Edgeworth leaves]

Phoenix: Again, please never become a teacher.

Maya: And again, I'm busy learning the language of burgers. I have to go mourn Mr. Holmes as well.

Phoenix: (The language of burgers? Still? Ugh, stop thinking about it, Phoenix!)

[and so the Wright and Co. Law duo leave.]



Again, thank you to Rubia for checking this for me. :edgey:
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Great Revival

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This iz s0 sp00kz, s0m30n3 5p0rk th15
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8659657/1/CR ... gement-Day
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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^ Please don't speak in Leet. It's against the rules.
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This account is dead. Link to my DeviantART.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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@ob9410: I know that Larry is inmature, but he's not a kid, and you're writing him like one. Maya and Nick were okay for the most part. You could work on Edgeworth, too, but Larry just bothers me. And you shouldn't use emoticonos in the middle of the sporking. Just describe the body language as Pessimistic_Fool said.
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Guess who got a laptop of their own. :karma:
Starting work on Turnabout Storm, Part Six today. May take a while because I have never used FIMFiction before and the layout on this site is throwing me for a loop. (Seriously, it's awful.)
Juuuust to be clear, we did agree that crossover characters in crossover sporkings was acceptable, right? As long as it was still comprehensible to someone who had little/no experience with the other series?
Edit: I'm not planning on bringing in any pony sporkers, by the way, if that's what that sounded like.
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AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Guess who got a laptop of their own. :karma:
Starting work on Turnabout Storm, Part Six today. May take a while because I have never used FIMFiction before and the layout on this site is throwing me for a loop. (Seriously, it's awful.)
Juuuust to be clear, we did agree that crossover characters in crossover sporkings was acceptable, right? As long as it was still comprehensible to someone who had little/no experience with the other series?
Edit: I'm not planning on bringing in any pony sporkers, by the way, if that's what that sounded like.

No, they are NOT allowed. A special case was made for PWvPL characters as the Labyrinthian characters are technically neither Professor Layton or Phoenix Wright characters. If there are characters not from *insert franchise here* but aren't OCs and are somehow connected to AA, I guess they could count. (?)
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Dunno. I went back and checked our discussion of that rule a few pages back, and we seemed to agree that crossover characters were acceptable in crossover sporkings.
Also, due to sticker-related technical difficulties, I won't be starting tonight anyway.
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Really? That's pretty cool. Also what do you mean sticker related issues? Did you just stuff a sticker into the computer or something?
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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^ I'm sure she is putting stickers on the computer, not in it. Unless it's one of those kinds of laptops that are strangely powered by stickers. What?

Imo, nothing wrong with pony sporkers, but the only one worth bringing in is Pinkie, but she'd be kinda like Kay in the way she bounds around bribing the Management and isn't caught for violating rules. Also, since she'd be a guest sporker, it won't be like Kay, who has a long history of not supposing to have that freedom.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
^ I'm sure she is putting stickers on the computer, not in it. Unless it's one of those kinds of laptops that are strangely powered by stickers. What?

Imo, nothing wrong with pony sporkers, but the only one worth bringing in is Pinkie, but she'd be kinda like Kay in the way she bounds around bribing the Management and isn't caught for violating rules. Also, since she'd be a guest sporker, it won't be like Kay, who has a long history of not supposing to have that freedom.

You DON'T have a Laptop powered by stickers? That's really weird. :/

I'll stop sporking for the next week to replay Ace Attorney series and get used to the characters. :will:
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Anyone need a DGS fanfiction to spork? Cuz I've got one right here:

http://bramimond.dreamwidth.org/636.html

Author is yours truly. I wrote it in my not so right mind. No I wasn't high or drunk. Just sleep deprived. Only things to look out for is swearing, drug use, and some suggestive themes. Maybe you could bring in some DGS characters into the theatre for the first time too? That would be interesting. But yeah...have at it.
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I've heard rumors… Bramimond, one of the eight legends, devoted himself entirely to the dark. All emotion, all memory… dissolved in a river of dark. That is how he received the power to best dragons
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Bramimond wrote:
Anyone need a DGS fanfiction to spork? Cuz I've got one right here:

http://bramimond.dreamwidth.org/636.html

Author is yours truly. I wrote it in my not so right mind. No I wasn't high or drunk. Just sleep deprived. Only things to look out for is swearing, drug use, and some suggestive themes. Maybe you could bring in some DGS characters into the theatre for the first time too? That would be interesting. But yeah...have at it.

I haven't played DGS, but I want to see Sherlock Holmes being your generic Gentleman in the sporking theater. (He is supposed to be a genius gentleman, right?)
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@ob9410: That may be helpful. Good luck!

And Holmes, as much as he tries to play off as one, never can manage to NOT be silly somehow.

@Bram: Considering that not many of us may understand the characters as well as I do, since I played the game, I suppose I'll be the one best suited for the job, though I already started on The Hellspawn (that last one luck recommended). As for that crackfic I promised... eheh, I'll see what I come up with.

How hyped is everyone to see this fic sporked? I may have to set mine in progress aside, or does someone else want to tackle it instead? I don't mind. I picked it because I didn't have any in particular at the time.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
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The Enigma

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Have fun, Rubes ;)
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I've heard rumors… Bramimond, one of the eight legends, devoted himself entirely to the dark. All emotion, all memory… dissolved in a river of dark. That is how he received the power to best dragons
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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
@ob9410: That may be helpful. Good luck!

And Holmes, as much as he tries to play off as one, never can manage to NOT be silly somehow.

@Bram: Considering that not many of us may understand the characters as well as I do, since I played the game, I suppose I'll be the one best suited for the job, though I already started on The Hellspawn (that last one luck recommended). As for that crackfic I promised... eheh, I'll see what I come up with.

How hyped is everyone to see this fic sporked? I may have to set mine in progress aside, or does someone else want to tackle it instead? I don't mind. I picked it because I didn't have any in particular at the time.

I really want to see this sporked, because I'm real hyped for DGS. And I almost want to see Joint Reasoning used. I've also been thinking of using Logic in the sporking theater...
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ob9410 wrote:
I've also been thinking of using Logic in the sporking theater...


In a place like this? I don't know... :yogi:
"I'm in lesbians with you" - Scott Pilgrim
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TheMoonlitAttorney wrote:
ob9410 wrote:
I've also been thinking of using Logic in the sporking theater...


In a place like this? I don't know... :yogi:

People have been killed with hot air balloons in this game, is it that farfetched to use logic here?

Also, I found some spork worthy fics!
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9536445/1/ ... d-Monsters
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11068425/1/A-Cykes-in-Time (because time travel)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10906817/1 ... Objections
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11392837/1 ... Randomness
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11209522/1 ... -a-Fighter
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11246533/1 ... between-us
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

Gender: Female

Location: Metropolitan Atlanta

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 12:23 pm

Posts: 812

On one hand, yesssssssss DGS yesssssssssssssssssss Holmes I love him. But on the other hand, I've taken to the strictest possible spoiler policy... hm...
Turnabout Storm, Part Six forthcoming sometime this week. I got a job... :yogi:
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Great Revival

Gender: Male

Location: Location

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2015 6:40 am

Posts: 2453

Okay, I finished the first Ace Attorney and the first few cases of AAI, so I'll start sporking chapter 3 of Ms. Maya, wish me luck! (I finished AA and case 1-4 of AAI alot faster then I was expecting. :yogi: )
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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ZAWA ZAWA

Gender: Female

Location: Bristol, Rhode Island

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue May 14, 2013 10:21 pm

Posts: 172

Title- O romance impossível
Rating- :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit:
This fic is really cheesy, has improbable scenarios that don't even have an attempted explanation, and everyone, especially Mia, is really out of character. It seems to be written at a child's level, you'll see what I mean later. Now this fic is written in Brazilian Portuguese while I'm used to European Portuguese. So my translation may be a little… off at times but nothing too major, I hope. There were some things that I couldn't tell if they were mistakes or if it's the way Brazilians word things. There were some genuine spelling errors that I mimicked into the translation, and a huge overabundance of commas. Near the end I stopped translating so literally, because it started to sound like google translate. Even though both my parents were born in Portugal, and obviously know the language fluently, they weren't much help.
Now here comes our sporkers, the trio!
Phoenix Wright!
:object: "Is the title written like that to make it look cool? Or is the fic written in another language?"
Maya Fey!
:maya: "Don't be so worried, Nick! If it is written in another language, it wouldn't be the first time!"
and Miles Edgeworth!
:edgeworth: "Regardless, it isn't too hard to figure out what kind of fic this is going to be."

[We open up in our beloved sporking theatre. All of our sporkers are already seated and ready to start the sporking. However, the management is feeling a bit… chipper today.]

Phoenix: ! What does the narrator mean by that?

Edgeworth: I don't know, but the management being in a good mood is never a good thing.

Maya: Yeah, but if they're in a good mood then maybe they'll give us better snacks!

Speakers: Aw, are you guys hungry?

All: !

Phoenix: A-Athena!? Is that you?

Speakers: Hey boss! And yes, before you ask, I did clean the toilet before I left!

Phoenix: What are you doing working with the management!? Tr-Traitor!

Maya: Yeah, I thought you were on our side!

Speakers: Hey, relax! I'm only here because the management asked for a translation. I made sure the fic wasn't too bad, if it was then I wasn't going to translate it for them. Wait, you wouldn't? Nope! You can't get the best of me!

Maya: Hey Nick, it seems that your guess was right about the language thing.

Edgeworth: That much is obvious just by looking at the title.

Phoenix: Hey, some people like writing the title in other languages to make it look cool. Right?

Edgeworth: Yes, but most people pick Latin or something like that.

Maya: Pfft, nobody picks Latin anymore, Mr. Edgeworth! You're becoming as old-fashioned as Nick!

Edgeworth: I am not! I can work a computer, mind you.

Phoenix: I'm not really that old-fashioned…

Speakers: Enough chit-chat. Athena, start the fic.

Quote:
O romance impossível
Por: flavio.schefer1

Quote:
The impossible romance
By: flavio.schefer1


Phoenix: So… what language is this?

Speakers: Portuguese!

Edgeworth: Hm, none of the games have been available in Portuguese…

Speakers: Athena, you need to be more strict! You know what we'd say.

Maya: U-Um, I wonder what makes this romance "impossible?"

Edgeworth: We'll find out later, I suppose.

Quote:
Capítulo 1- O reencontro
Era um dia qualquer no meu escritório de advocacia recém-reaberto, pois havia recuperado a permissão para advogar havia poucos meses.
Então a campainha tocou e fui atender a porta.

Quote:
Chapter 1- The reunion
It was an ordinary day in my newly reopened law office, I had regained permission to practice law in a few months.
Then the doorbell rang and I answered the door.


Phoenix: Wow, this sounds so…

Maya: So what?

Phoenix: I don't know how to word it, but…

Edgeworth: I think I know what you mean, Wright. Those two sentences don't sound like they go together, correct? It seems like someone cut a bit of text out in the middle. It's too sudden.

Phoenix: Yeah, I guess that's one way to put it.

Quote:
- Pois não?-perguntei a moça que estava de pé na porta, me olhando feliz, como se fossemos amigos há anos.
-Realmente não me reconheceste meu caro pupilo?
Então a olhei de cima a baixo e a reconheci de imediato, convidando-a a entrar na sala de recepção.

Quote:
"May I help you?" I asked the girl standing at the door, she gazed at me happily, as if we had been friends for years.
"Do you really not recognize me my dear pupil?"
Then I looked up and down and recognized her immediately, as she entered the reception room.


Phoenix: Pupil? Then this is-

Maya: Sis! I can't believe you didn't recognize her. Bad Nick!

Phoenix: Trust me, if Mia showed up at my door I would definitely recognize her. Just what is going on here?

Quote:
-Mas não pode ser você.
-Porque não?-ela perguntou.
-PORQUE VOCÊ MORREU HÁ ANOS ATRÁS.

Quote:
"But it can't be you."
"Why not?" She asked.
"BECAUSE YOU DIED YEARS AGO."


Edgeworth: Too much caps lock. I know something like this should evoke surprise, but italics would've been fine.

Phoenix: Never mind that! That sentence sounds weird. Just "years ago?" Do I not remember how many years ago Mia died? Even if I didn't, "a few years ago" would sound more natural. Are you sure you're translating this right?

Speakers: Of course! Or, um, I think.

Phoenix: You "think?"

Speakers: Well, this fic is written in Brazilian Portuguese, and I'm used to European. They do phrase things differently, but I know for a fact that I translated that sentence correctly. C'mon boss, you don't seriously doubt that I'm better than google translate, do you?

Phoenix: No, it's just that it sounded funny.

Maya: I've been thinking, why is Nick that surprised to see Mia at his door? He knows spirit channeling, and Pearly and I channeled her before…

Quote:
-Pois eu voltei à vida, Wright.

Quote:
"I came back to life, Wright."


All: …

Phoenix: W-What?

Edgeworth: Impossible!

Maya: Yeah, not even spirit channeling can bring a person back to life!

Edgeworth: I-I believe a headache will be forming soon. There's no way this can be explained logically.

Phoenix: I'd like to see them try.

Maya: Yeah, what he said!

Quote:
-Então me conte tudo.

Quote:
"Then tell me everything."


Phoenix: Shouldn't I be more… surprised? I sound way too laid back. I'd probably be thinking that this was a dream.

Maya: *gasp* Xin Eohp strikes again! Look, you've been replaced with an emotionless, boring clone! Why do fanfic authors always do this? Maybe it's a conspiracy…

Edgeworth: I doubt that there's an underground group of authors who plan to write boring clones of all the characters, Maya. They just simply don't know how to keep people in character.

Maya: Phooey. At least a conspiracy would make these bad fanfics more interesting…

Quote:
Mas, quando ela ia começar a falar meu telefone tocou.
-Escritório de Advocacia Wright&associados, bom dia.
-Olá Nick!-Disse uma voz feminina do outro lado.

Quote:
However, when she began to speak my phone rang.
"Wright and Co. Law Offices, good morning."
"Hi Nick!" Said a female voice from the other side.


Maya: Hey, look! I'm finally is this fic!

Edgeworth: And you're happy about that?

Phoenix: Something's wrong with this. If someone who was just dead walked through the door, I don't think I would be picking up the phone. Please don't tell me I'm the only one?

Edgeworth: I would pick up the phone.

Phoenix: Wh-What?

Edgeworth: I would be calling the hospital because I'd be needing some serious help. It's the most logical thing, isn't it?

Phoenix: No, it's not!

Quote:
-Maya, como você está?
-Bem, mas você já soube? Ela voltou dos mortos.

Quote:
"Maya, how are you?"
"Good, but don't you already know? She came back from the dead."


Maya: If that actually happened, I'd be calling Nick right away! Not hours later…

Quote:
-Sim, eu soube, pois ela está aqui na minha sala.
-Ela disse que queria te ver, e perguntou se você tinha namorada.
-Eu não tenho, mas porque ela quis saber isso?

Quote:
"Yes, I know, she came here to my room."
"She said that she wanted to see you, and asked if you had a girlfriend."
"I don't have one, but why did she want to know that?"


Edgeworth: Of course it's one of those fics.

Phoenix: Oh, c'mon fic-me! I'm not that dense. Stop making me look like an idiot!

Maya: Nick, that's not you, it's Xin Eohp! Now he's not just emotionless and boring, he's dumb too.

Quote:
-Eu não faço a menor ideia. Pergunte você mesmo. –Ela disse em tom um tanto malicioso.
-Certo, até mais.

Quote:
"I don't have a clue. Ask her yourself." She said in a very malicious tone.
"Sure, see you later."


Phoenix: Was there a point to that conversation? I mean, Mia's right there! She can tell me everything instead.

Maya: It's a shipping story. Of course the main love interest can't tell you those things.

Edgeworth: I don't know, I feel that the phone call was there just to drag the story on.

Phoenix: Well they're doing a good job, this is getting boring.

Quote:
Então me voltei novamente para a minha visita, e perguntei:
- O que está havendo aqui?
Ela não respondeu. Apenas chegou mais perto e me beijou.
-Isso está acontecendo. –Ela finalmente disse.

Quote:
I then returned to my visitor and asked:
"What is going on here?"
She didn't respond. She only came closer and kissed me.
"That's what's going on." She finally said.


Phoenix: I don't think that's what I was asking. I was probably wondering why she's alive in the first place!

Maya: Hey, I think I know what the point of the phone call was! It was to bring it to the romance setting, so Xin wouldn't ask "why are you alive" and instead be curious about what Ayam said about a girlfriend.

Edgeworth: What you're saying is that the phone call was to stop Wright from asking interesting questions. That actually makes some sense.

Maya: That's Xin Eohp, Mr. Edgeworth!

Quote:
-Mas e o seu noivo?
-Ele não quis sequer falar comigo. Disse que estava muito mal pelo que havia feito.
-Mas porque o beijo?- Perguntei relativamente alegre, já que sempre guardei uma pequena paixão por ela.
-Porque eu quero que você seja meu, assim como você já me quis um dia.
-Eu aceito. –Disse baixinho para ela. E a beijei novamente.

Quote:
"But what about your fiancé?"
"He didn't even want to speak with me. He said that he was very bad for what he had done."
"But why the kiss?" I asked relatively happy, I always had a little crush on her.
"Because I always wanted you to be mine, just as you wanted me someday."
"I accept." I said softly to her. And I kissed her again.


Phoenix: *monotonous voice* Yes, let's ignore the fact that someone who was dead is suddenly alive and just keep kissing.

Maya: Oh no, I think Xin Eohp is taking over Nick! *hits Phoenix's head* Bring Nick back!

Phoenix: Ow, what was that for!? I was just mimicking him!

Maya: Whoops, sorry.

Edgeworth: This dialogue sounds ridiculously bland. Real people do not talk like robots.

Spoiler: Chapter 2
Speakers: Alright guys, we'll be starting Chapter 2 now, are you ready? And oh boy, it's a timeskip!

Phoenix: Wait, so they don't even try to explain why Mia is alive?

Speakers: Nope! Hey, you can't be disclosing information about the fic like that! Athena, are you listening to
me? Athena!


Edgeworth: This is just plain laziness on the author's part. I know things usually aren't explained, but something as big as this?

Maya: Eh, they would've probably said something lame like "I came back to life because of true love!" Yawn.

Edgeworth: …You're probably right.

Quote:
Capítulo 2-A primeira vez

Quote:
Chapter 2-The first time


Phoenix: Oh no. Please not.

Edgeworth: I wouldn't worry, Wright. This author is more of a "teller" and not a "shower." I doubt that it'll be described.

Quote:
Após alguns poucos meses, já tínhamos um relacionamento, até que uma noite, ela foi a minha casa e pediu que a acompanhasse até a dela.
Então eu percebi em seus olhos o que ela queria com tudo aquilo.
Aquela noite foi uma das mais belas da minha vida,

Quote:
After a few months, we already had a relationship, until one night, she came to my house and asked that I follow her.
Then I saw in her eyes that she wanted everything.
That was the most beautiful night of my life,


Edgeworth: What did I say, Wright?

Phoenix: Yeah yeah, you're right as always, Edgeworth. Congratulations.

Maya: This is so boring! Hey Athena, what happened to those snacks you promised us?

Speakers: Oh, that's right! I forgot about those… Y'know, I'm kind of craving donuts. Are those OK?

[A box of donuts appears in Maya's lap through the teleporter.]

Maya: Hey, there's six donuts in here. Enough for each of us to have two!

Edgeworth: I'm fine, thank you.

Speakers: Hey, you can't be using the teleporter for expenses like… You got a box too? Yep, and I'm not sharing with you! Grr…

Maya: Wow, I've never seen the management so angry before!

Phoenix: Yeah, I'm starting to worry for Athena actually…

Quote:
até que alguém bateu a porta do quarto.
-Quem é? –Ela perguntou.
-Sou eu, Pearl.

Quote:
until someone knocked on the door of my room.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"It's me, Pearl."


Maya: Oh no, you're going to scar Pearly for life! Quick, put on some clothes!

Quote:
-Não entre aqui, eu estou ocupada.
-Certo, vou dizer para a Maya que você já vem para o jantar.

Quote:
"Don't come in here, I'm busy."
"Okay, I'm going to tell Maya that you've come for dinner."


Maya: That doesn't sound like Pearly at all! She would be calling me "Mystic Maya!"

Phoenix: I'm wondering, isn't it supposed to be late at night? Why are we worrying about dinner?

Edgeworth: Perhaps they eat dinner around midnight. You'd be surprised how many families actually do eat that late.

Maya: Mi-Midnight? That is way too late! Aren't I the one preparing dinner? I would be absolutely famished!

Phoenix: (Here she is again. Maya Fey: Ace Exaggerator.)

Quote:
-Vamos descer logo. – Disse a ela.
-Vamos então.
Vestimo-nos rapidamente e descemos as escadas.
-Nick?-Disse Maya um pouco surpresa a me ver.

Quote:
"We'll come down later," I told her.
"Let's go then."
We quickly got dressed and went downstairs.
"Nick?" Maya said a little surprised to see me.


Edgeworth: There's a comma missing, after "said." If Wright said "later," then why are they rushing to go now?

Maya: Because Mia knows how I get when I'm hungry, and it's already midnight!

[Mia explains to Maya what happened. Maya begins to cry and after congratulating them, wishes them good luck. It's worded funny, so we're skipping it.]

Phoenix: Woah woah, wait. Mia tells Maya what we just did?

Edgeworth: It appears so.

Maya: Why am I crying?

Phoenix: And why are you congratulating us and wishing us good luck? She doesn't think Mia's suddenly pregnant, does she?

Quote:
Após o jantar, gentilmente agradeci e fui até a porta, quando alguém gritou:
-PROTESTO!

Quote:
After dinner, I thanked them and went to the door, when someone shouted:
"OBJECTION!"


Phoenix: Seriously? Seriously!?

Maya: I guess this is the new way of saying "wait!" Heh, I'll be saying this from now on!

Phoenix: Maya, please.

Quote:
-Mia!
-Hoje você fica e dormimos juntos está bem?

Quote:
"Mia!"
"Today you are to stay and sleep with me ok?"


Phoenix: But we just did that!

Maya: No one said you couldn't do it again.

Phoenix: And why she is being so demanding? Don't I get a say in this too?

Maya: Well, now we know who "wears the pants" in this relationship.

Quote:
-Mas e a Trucy?
-Não se preocupe. O Apollo cuidará dela pra você. Eu já tinha combinado com ele.

Quote:
"But what about Trucy?"
"Don't worry. Apollo will take care of her fo you. I've already talked to him."


Phoenix: Wait, Apollo and Trucy are here? When does this fic take place?

Maya: In nowhere-ville.

Edgeworth: Ms. Cykes, I believe you missed the "r" in "for."

Speakers: Nope! The author spelt "para" as "pra," so I just spelt the same word wrong in English! Do you really think that I don't know how to spell "for?"

Edgeworth: No, of course not.

Phoenix: He definitely did.

Quote:
Então nos dirigimos juntos ao quarto e fomos dormir.

Quote:
Then we drove together to the room and went to sleep.


Phoenix: Oh. So it meant sleep as in "Zzzz." I thought it meant the other kind.

Maya: Nick, did you even read that line correctly? You two "drove" to the room? Wasn't it just upstairs? Did you drive a car up the stairs?

Phoenix: Yes, we did. However, now I think your place in Kurain is going to need new stairs.

Maya: But the stairs aren't wide enough for a car to fit…

Edgeworth: Maya, how about we just stop thinking about this for now?

[The lights turn back on.]

Edgeworth: This isn't over, is it?

Speakers: Nah, there's still one more chapter. I'm giving you all a bathroom break!

Maya: One more chapter? But this is so boring! How about a nap break instead?

Speakers: No, no nap breaks! And no bathroom breaks either! Geez, is it really so hard to be a manager? Remind us to never have Athena as management again.

Maya: Aw, but Athena's so much nicer! She's not an old fart like you.

Speakers: ! Maya Fey, what did you just say?

Phoenix: Y-Yikes! M-Maya, I don't think you want to…to... Ch-Chief?

Mia: *smiles* Hello, Phoenix. *looks around* So, is the fic really that bad again?

Edgeworth: No, it's not quite like "Stiff". It's just dull.

Phoenix: And dumb.

Speakers: …Maya got lucky this time. We're going to hurry along with the fic. For once, we can't wait for a sporking session to be over.

Mia: Oh? What's with the management today?

Edgeworth: It's best not to listen to them, Ms. Fey.

Spoiler: Chapter 3
Quote:
Capítulo 3 – O final
Nosso namoro já durava alguns anos, quando durante um jantar a sós, eu criei coragem e fiz o pedido.
Abaixei-me, segurei a mão dela e disse:
-Mia Fey, você aceitaria se casar comigo?

Quote:
Chapter 3- The finale
Our relationship already lasted a few years, when during a dinner with just the two of us, I gathered the courage and made a request.
I bent down, held her hand and said:
"Mia Fey, will you marry me?"


Mia: What's going on here?

Phoenix: You came back from the dead for no reason other than for the author's ship, and kissed me. And in the last chapter we had sex.

Mia: O-Oh. Well, that's interesting.

Edgeworth: The story is written very childishly and has lots of bland dialogue to boot. As you can see, it's written in Portuguese and Ms. Cykes is translating for us.

Speakers: Hi there! I've heard so much about you, Ms. Fey! It's nice to meet you!

Mia: Yes, it's nice to meet you too, Ms…?

Speakers: You can call me Athena! I work for Mr. Wright now.

Mia: I see. Look at you, Phoenix! You're now mentoring two brilliant lawyers. I knew you could do it!

Phoenix: Heh heh. Thanks, Chief.

Quote:
-É claro que sim. – Ela disse emocionada.
Então pus o anel em seu dedo, e em poucos dias, já havíamos arrumado tudo para a festa.

Quote:
"Of course I will," she gushed.
I then put the ring on her finger, and in a few days, we had already made all the arrangements for the party.


Phoenix: "The party?" Aren't we getting married? Wouldn't it make more sense to call it a wedding?

Edgeworth: I agree with you, Wright. But it seems that the author likes to call it a "party."

Quote:
Quando Mia jogou o buque, ele foi parar nas mãos da Trucy, agora com 20 anos, acabou no mesmo dia casando com o Klavier Gavin.

Quote:
When Mia threw the bouquet, it went into the hands of Trucy, who is now 20 years old, she ended up getting married on the same day with Klavier Gavin.


All: …

Phoenix: Trucy with… Klavier? This is the first time I've heard of that pairing.

Edgeworth: Also, they got married on the same day? That would be a disaster. They had absolutely no plans to have a wedding, and did so in mere hours.

Phoenix: Maybe people get married really quickly where the author is from?

Mia: But that quickly? I don't think so.

Quote:
Ao final da cerimônia, todos os nossos amigos me disseram para cuidar bem da Mia e tratá-la com carinho.
Então Edgeworth, num gesto incomum, me deu um tapinha nas costas e me parabenizou.

Quote:
At the end of the ceremony, all of our friends told me to take good care of Mia and to treat her with care.
Then Edgeworth, with such an unusual gesture, gave me a pat on the back and congratulated me.


Phoenix: Hey, look Edgeworth, you appeared!

Edgeworth: Yes, but I don't know if I would go since I knew the Bride was supposed to be dead. I would probably-

Phoenix: Call the hospital because you needed help. We get it, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: That wasn't what I was going to say!

Quote:
Em poucos meses ela havia ficado grávida. Então Trucy foi até nosso quarto e perguntou o nome de sua nova quase irmã.
-Ela terá o nome da mãe: Mia Wright.
-É um belo nome.
Então a menina nasceu, e todos vivemos felizes para sempre.

Quote:
In a couple of months, she became pregnant. So Trucy went to our room and asked for the name of her new sister.
"She will have her mother's name: Mia Wright."
"It's a beautiful name."
Then the girl was born, and we all lived happily ever after.


Mia: Wow, this sure is corny.

Phoenix: Right? I mean, "happily ever after?" What is this, a fairy tale?

Edgeworth: It's about as believable as a fairy tale.

Quote:
Então um dia, nossa filha foi ao nosso quarto e falou:
-Já decidi o quero ser quando crescer.
-O que?-Mia perguntou ansiosa.
-O mesmo que você e o papai: advogada de defesa.
Eu estava tão feliz em ouvir aquilo que chorei.

Quote:
One day, our daughter came to our room and said:
"I've already decided what I want to be when I grow up."
"What?" Mia asked anxiously.
"The same as daddy: a defense attorney."
I was so happy to hear that that I cried.


Phoenix: Can this fic get any more cheesy?

Mia: So, when I come back from the dead, I'm not a defense attorney anymore?

Edgeworth: Perhaps they wouldn't allow someone who was previously deceased to be a lawyer. If so, then I don't blame them.

Mia: Well, all the legal matters involved with a person coming back from the dead probably would be a disaster.

Phoenix: But someone getting in with a fake badge makes more sense. Right.

Quote:
Então, alguns anos depois o nome do escritório mudou para:
Escritório de advocacia Wright&Fey.

Quote:
And so, a few years later the name of the office changed to:
Wrght&Fey Law Offices.


Phoenix: Why? Her name is Mia Wright, isn't it?

Edgeworth: You're correct. The last name "Fey" doesn't appear in her name.

Phoenix: …Do you think the author noticed?

Mia: No, I doubt it.

Quote:
Algum tempo depois, o Klavier me ligou bem tarde da noite. Então eu disse a ele, no tom mais solene possível:
-Amigo, eu estou um tanto ''ocupado '' com a Mia agora. O que você quer?

Quote:
Some time later, Klavier called me well into the night. Then I told him, in the most solemn tone possible:
"Hey bud, I'm a bit 'busy' with Mia right now. What do you want?"


Mia: Classy, Phoenix.

Phoenix: H-Hey, this is fic-me! And since when do I call Klavier "bud?"

Speakers: Well, technically the translation is "friend," but that sounds weird. So the other two translations are "bud" or "pal," and I think "pal" sounds too much like that Detective Gymshoes guy so…

Phoenix: That's Detective Gumshoe, Athena!

Quote:
-Só avisar que eu vou ser pai.
-O que?
-Exatamente. A Trucy está grávida. E é um menino.

Quote:
"I'm just telling you that I am going to be a father."
"What?"
"Exatly. Trucy is pregnant. And it's a boy."


Phoenix: I was wrong about this not getting any cheesier. *sigh*

Edgeworth: Let me guess, the author spelt "exactly" wrong in Portuguese?

Speakers: Yep!

[Klavier tells him that Trucy wants to name the baby Phoenix.]

Mia: Again?

Phoenix: How many Mia's and Phoenix's are going to be in this family?

Edgeworth: They're acting like there's a very limited supply of names to choose from.

Phoenix: Yes, we're too poor to afford different names.

Edgeworth: Excuse me?

Phoenix: …You didn't get the reference, did you?

Edgeworth: No.

Mia: I didn't either, Phoenix.

Speakers: Neither did I! Maybe Maya's right. You're really old-fashioned, aren't you boss?

Phoenix: No!

Quote:
-Diga a ela que nós queremos que vocês sejam muito felizes.
-Desejamos o mesmo a você e a Mia.
-Adeus.
Então agora sim eu posso dizer que serei feliz para sempre.

Quote:
"Tell her that we want you guys to be very happy."
"We wish the same to you and Mia."
"Bye."
So yes, now I can say that I will always be happy.


Phoenix: Ergh, I literally want to vomit.

Mia: This is nauseating, but I know the author thinks it's sweet.

[The lights turn back on.]

Phoenix: It's finally… over?

Edgeworth: It appears so. For once, this wasn't too bad.

Phoenix: That's because the only thing you did in the whole fic was pat me on the back!

Edgeworth: I'm just grateful it's not vore, Wright.

Phoenix: Ugh, don't remind me.

Maya: Did someone say "vore?"

Phoenix: M-Maya!

Maya: Hey, Nick! What happened in the rest of the fic?

Edgeworth: Wright and Ms. Fey got married and had a baby whom they named Mia. The girl grew up to be a defense attorney. Klavier and Trucy also got married and at the end, Trucy was pregnant with a boy whom they wanted to name Phoenix.

Phoenix: There were also a bunch of cheesy lines like "happily ever after."

Maya: Gee, what a snore-fest. I'm glad I called Mia!

Speakers: About that, you can't get away from us that quickly, Maya! You know that we-

[Suddenly there is a loud noise, and the management remains silent.]

Maya: Uhh, what happened?

[I think Athena switched off the speakers.]

Maya: Oh, well looks like I'm not getting yelled at!

Phoenix: You're lucky for now, but…

Edgeworth: I don't know how long that will last.

Maya: Oh well, let's go. Anyone want burgers? My treat!

Phoenix: You're going to pay?

Maya: Oh Nick, don't be silly!

[Phoenix and Maya walk out of the theater arguing, Edgeworth just follows them. Anyway, here ends another fabulous adventure in the sporking theatre! What will the management have up their sleeves next? I don't know, but I clearly heard the word "punishment…" Heh well, it might take a while for that to happen. We hope to see you next time!]

Last edited by Skittlemask on Wed Aug 19, 2015 5:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Good sporking, Skkitlemask. And while we're at translations, I've just got back my laptop and I'm going to translate Imperfect Wish to celebrate it.

Spoiler:
Quote:
Miré el cielo estrellado de aquella madrugada de otoño, los árboles tenían las hojas amarillentas y rojizas. Caminé a lo largo de la avenida de árboles de un parque sin nombre, o sí, de nombre: "Cementerio".


I looked at the starry sky of that autumn night, the trees had yellow and red leaves. I walked along the trees avenue of a park without a name, or rather, named 'Cemetery'.

Quote:
Llegué a una pequeña tumba, cubierta de musgo húmedo, alguien la había pateado, pues tenía trozos rotos. Cogí el mechero, lo encendí y lo acerqué en la inscripción, que rezaba:


I got to a little grave covered in wet moss, someone had kicked it, for it had broken pieces. I held the lighter, lighted it and put it closer to the inscription, that read:


Quote:
"Aquí yacen los restos mortales de…Miles Edgeworth. El fiscal perfecto que había querido ser abogado."


"Here lie the mortal remains of...Miles Edgeworth. The perfect prosecutor that had wanted to be a lawyer."


Quote:
Apagué el mechero y me puse de rodillas, a rogar por su difunta alma. En un arranque de rabia, arranqué el musgo de a tumba. Me maldije a mí misma por lo que acababa de hacer. Abandoné aquel lugar de desolación. Antes de ello, me dirigí a un panteón antiguo, de estilo gótico. Abrí la puerta y me adentré en él. Busqué con la luz del mechero el nombre de una inscripción. A lo largo del pasillo se leían decenas de nombres. "Aldous von Karma, Alfred von Karma, Susan von Karma, Arkan von Karma, Sophia y Anthoine von Karma… Charles von Karma…"


I closed the lighter and kneeled down, to pray for his deceased soul. In a fit of rage. I teared off the moss of the grave. I cursed myself for what I had just done. I left that place of bleakness. Before that, I headed to an old mausoleum. I opened the door and entered it. I used the light of the lighter to look for the name of an inscription. Dozens of names could be read along the hallway. "Aldous von Karma, Alfred von Karma, Susan von Karma, Arkan von Karma, Sophia and Anthoine von Karma...Charles von Karma..."

Quote:
Me quedé parada delante de la urna, pasé mis dedos por los relieves que había, eran dragones, serpientes, demonios…


I stopped in front of the urn, I passed my fingers through its reliefs, they were dragons, snakes, demons...

Quote:
Mis ojos se nublaron por las lágrimas que, silenciosamente, se desplazaban por mi cara:


My eyes were blurred with the tears that, silently, rolled down my face.

Quote:
"Tu hermano…está muerto.", "Encontramos el cuerpo carbonizado en la sala." "Lo lamentamos mucho señores von Karma".


"Your brother...is dead.", "We found the body charred in the living room." "We're very sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Von Karma."

Quote:
Aparté la mirada de la inscripción y la dirigí a la inscripción de arriba: Angelika von Karma.


I looked away from the inscription to see the inscription above it: Angelika von Karma.

Quote:
"¡MAMÁ, CUIDADO CON LA ARMADURA!", "CHASS", "ARGH".


"¡MOM, BE CAREFUL WITH THE ARMOR!","CHASS!, "ARGH".

Quote:
Primero murió mi hermano, después mi madre y ahora Miles Edgeworth. Lo peor de todo era que el hombre que los mató a los tres fue… Manfred von Karma…mi padre…


First, my brother died, then my mother and now Miles Edgeworth. Worst of all was that the man who killed the three of them was... Manfred von Karma...my father...


Quote:
Mi padre odió a mi hermano, porque este no quería saber nada sobre la perfección. A mi madre, porque era, según mi padre, imperfecta. A Miles, porque le disparó en el incidente DL-6, porque su padre había conseguido que penalizaran al mío.


My father hated my brother, because he didn't want to hear a word about perfection. He hated my mother, because she was, according to my father, imperfect. He hated Miles, because he shot him in the DL-6 incident, because his father had got mine penalized.


Quote:
Un día, apareció un hombre vestido de negro y me entregó una carta, en ella se leía que las próximas víctimas de mi padre serían…Phoenix Wright y yo…


One day, a man dressed in all black appeared and handed me a letter, it said that my father's next victims would be...Phoenix Wrigh and I.


Quote:
Supe que la carta era una bomba, conseguí neutralizarla antes de que explotara, pero Phoenix Wright no corrió la misma suerte, está en coma.


I figured out that the letter was a bomb, I manged to neutralize it before it exploded, but Phoenix Wright wasn't so lucky, he's in a comma.

Quote:
Ordené detener a mi padre y me di cuenta de que a mí me odiaba por no haber ganado los juicios contra Phoenix Wright y Miles Edgeworth. Manfred fue condenado a muerte, lo ejecutaron al día siguiente. No había sido capaz de mantener el orgullo de la familia von Karma. Je…perfección, orgullo, ¿en serio existe eso?, desde aquel día supe que la perfección y el orgullo no existen…


I ordered my father's arrest and I realized that he hated me for not winning the trials against Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth. Manfred was sentenced to death, he was executed the next day. He wasn't able to keep the pride of the von Karma family. Heh...perfection, pride, Does that really exist?, ever since that day I knew that perfection and pride don't exist...

Quote:
Abandoné el cementerio y me dirigí al hospital a visitar a Phoenix Wright. Volví a mirar el cielo estrellado otra vez. Una estrella fugaz pasó y le pedí un deseo. Que la perfección no exista...


I left the cemetery and headed to the hospital to visit Phoenix Wright. I looked at the starry sky again. A shooting star appeared and I made a wish. That perfection doesn't exist...


Tell me if you see something wrong or awkward in the translation, because it's probably my fault (except the commas. Those are like that in the fic.)

I'm not going to spork it for now because I've got unexpectedly busy, so if someone wants to take it, be my guest.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Skittlemask, what's going to happen to Athena? She switched off the speakers without the Management's permission, right...?

Hmm... what would make a good punishment sporking for Athena...?
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1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

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Athena vs. the Management was fantastic.
And I don't know what a good punishment for Athena would be since she's pretty gung-ho about even the weird fanfiction... maybe unbearably awkward Cykesquill or Justicykes fic?

Starting on Turnabout Storm, Part Six presently. Might take a while, since as I mentioned before I haven't watched MLP:FiM in a long time... and I have a job that I am DEFINITELY not getting paid enough for, I HATE KIDS this week...

Edit: Okay I need more sleep and my head hurts can somebody please tell me which characters were bronies/into MLP:FiM in the previous parts of Turnabout Storm? :payne:
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It was Edgeworth and Pearl. Nick's just been around for all of them because he deserves it. ;)

And this may be irregular, but we'd done it before and with permission. I'm dropping by again to introduce some fics that I wrote that I wouldn't mind being sporked:
viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
...especially the latest one in a couple posts after the first.
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1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

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Was Trucy a fan, too?
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I don't know. I don't think Trucy was brought in for a previous sporking of Turnabout Storm. She might be, though. She'll have so much fun with Pearl and Edgeworth.

...That sounded better in my head.

Edit: Scratch that, she appeared once in part 5. But I don't think she reacted all that much. Well, she could always develop into one.
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1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

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I'm sure there's already a fanfic just like that out there somewhere.

Also, if we're recommending our own stuff for sporkings, the link to my ff.net account is in my sig and basically everything I publish is stupid.
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Which fanfic? You mean one of those I wrote? Probably; none of those ideas are especially new, aside from the named-after-a-bus headcanon. I just wanted to come up with something on the spot.

If you must know, I respect people who come up with mostly stupid fics that are actually funny. It takes real talent.
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1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

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No, no, I meant Trucy/Pearl/Edgeworth. I mean, I've actually seen Trucy/Pearl plenty of times, and also Trucy/Edgeworth and Pearl/Edgeworth (thanks, PWKM, I definitely needed to be informed of the existence of those ships). Someone out there's probably written a threesome version... probably... I'll stop thinking about it now, I'm disturbed.

Ah, see, but I'm not actually funny, and there's the rub.
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Ah. Yeah, I'd imagine so, since it's such a long-running gag in this fandom that Nick hangs out with underaged girls in his office all the time. One Edgey was paired up with Kay, then he too was infected by that disease, unfortunately.

Oh, you. It's better to champion yourself with these things. Declare proudly that you write silly things for the greater good... or something.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
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There are dozens upon dozens of fics out there that feature Nick being shipped with every single one of his underaged assistants (and Trucy) (and Athena) (and this applies no matter the age, so YES someone out there wrote Phoenix/8-9 y/o!Pearl, I clearly remember it). So what I'm mostly wondering is why no one seems to have written Raymond Shields/Kay?

To be perfectly honest, I would love someone to spork Ace Attorney: Awakening, if only because we need some more crossover sporks up in here.
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AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
To be perfectly honest, I would love someone to spork Ace Attorney: Awakening, if only because we need some more crossover sporks up in here.

I'll do it. Especially since there's Fire Emblem involved. If that's okay. I've never even done a spork before.
Image
I've heard rumors… Bramimond, one of the eight legends, devoted himself entirely to the dark. All emotion, all memory… dissolved in a river of dark. That is how he received the power to best dragons
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It might actually be because the fan translation hasn't been out for that long, so those who actually would dare to write it haven't gotten around to it yet. It's why I don't find that many fics with Simon Keyes and Knightley... unless they're in Japanese. That pairing is so popular, it stupefies me. It has stupefied me to the point I don't even know what to say about it. Still, Ray and Kay are one of the more appropriate age-doesn't-matter pairings I could think of. Even their names match somewhat.

Ah, that reminds me. I did plan to bring Ray as a sporker in my in-progress sporking, but now I'm confused as to which fic I should be sporking first.

Oh! Hey, Bram! If you want some help with a sporking, I'll be glad to. Actually, if you have any questions, feel free to ask away in this thread.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
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AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Athena vs. the Management was fantastic.
And I don't know what a good punishment for Athena would be since she's pretty gung-ho about even the weird fanfiction... maybe unbearably awkward Cykesquill or Justicykes fic?


That's kind of what I was thinking but if I can't find anything ridiculously awkward, I have something else if mind that might work. Though of course, if anyone has some ideas then I would love to hear them.

luck wrote:
Tell me if you see something wrong or awkward in the translation, because it's probably my fault (except the commas. Those are like that in the fic.)


Yeah, when I was translating the Portuguese fic, the author put commas in a lot of weird places which I left in the translation. What's up with that? Anyway, none of the English sounded too awkward, I just wanted to let you know that the word for someone being unconscious/in a deep sleep for a long time is spelled "coma," not "comma." I noticed you did that before, which is why I'm mentioning it.
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