Bramimond wrote:It's going. But I had to put it on hold because I've been writing like hell for this OC contest. And well, I have this bad habit of nitpicking over every little thing I write so it's going to take while but even then it's probably not even going to be good.
Sorry for double post, but I found a fic for sporking... https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11566024/1 ... -last-case
I can't really describe it, I mean... There's this random 7 year old boy matching wits with Phoenix...? (Which makes an amusing image actually) And apparently Godot is found Not Guilty after flat out confessing in the game...?
Cody was 7 when he was matching wits with Nick, remember? Well, as far as economic trading policies and literary analyses go, at least. That said, Cody was special, so "no, thanks" to that random kid.
In other news, I have recruited a selection of fics for the next PWKM special and may be able to get to it sometime this week. Though what is it with people who like to make Apollo really hateful?
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:Cody was 7 when he was matching wits with Nick, remember? Well, as far as economic trading policies and literary analyses go, at least. That said, Cody was special, so "no, thanks" to that random kid.
Yeah, but Cody's not some random kid in the gallery.
In other news, I have recruited a selection of fics for the next PWKM special and may be able to get to it sometime this week. Though what is it with people who like to make Apollo really hateful?
Oliver wrote:Sorry for double post, but I found a fic for sporking... https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11566024/1 ... -last-case
I can't really describe it, I mean... There's this random 7 year old boy matching wits with Phoenix...? (Which makes an amusing image actually) And apparently Godot is found Not Guilty after flat out confessing in the game...?
I read it. And...it's...bad. I can't say anymore than that. This dude's logic is seriously flawed. Forgive me author person if he ever sees this...
I've heard rumors… Bramimond, one of the eight legends, devoted himself entirely to the dark. All emotion, all memory… dissolved in a river of dark. That is how he received the power to best dragons
Oliver wrote:Sorry for double post, but I found a fic for sporking... https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11566024/1 ... -last-case
I can't really describe it, I mean... There's this random 7 year old boy matching wits with Phoenix...? (Which makes an amusing image actually) And apparently Godot is found Not Guilty after flat out confessing in the game...?
I read it. And...it's...bad. I can't say anymore than that. This dude's logic is seriously flawed. Forgive me author person if he ever sees this...
Indeed. But I mean, Pearls was totally guilty.
That's why she's in DD.
Before I get into the sporking proper, I'd like to make a few notes. First, due to the sensitive material in this fic, I went ahead and made no assumptions on the religious beliefs of the characters in Ace Attorney. Secondly, can we please have no flame wars? Lastly, I would appreciate some feedback on my sporking, especially with my characterization of Phoenix.
Presenting: phoenix wright ace christian
I rate this fic 4 out of 5 sahwits.
There's really no beating around the bush with this one, folks: This historically inaccurate troll fic insults Ace Attorney fans and/or Christians everywhere.
And our sporkers for today are:
(Phoenix, Edgeworth and Maya are teleported here by the new teleporter.)
Edgeworth: Oh great, a new sporking?
Phoenix: At least it’s not another addition of Hellspawn.
Maya: Yeah, at least there’s that.
Management would like to make an announcement
Phoenix: Are you letting us go? Please let us go.
Oh, no. We’re never letting you go.
Phoenix: I knew it.
Maya: It was still worth the effort.
Management would just like to state that this fanfic nor the sporkers’ reactions to this fanfic necessarily reflect the Management’s views.
All: …
Maya: Well, that was weird.
(And so, the lights fade and the sporking begins.)
Spoiler:
one day phoenix was in his house reading his bible because he was a good christian who loved to read his bible every night
All: …
Phoenix: …This is going to be a long one, isn’t?
"i love reading my bible" siad phoenix
Edgeworth: Author, if you’re going to be redundant, you could at least have proper spelling and grammar.
Phoenix: And who am I supposed to be talking to here? Myself?
Maya: You know, they say that’s the first sign…
however when phoenix turned the page his bibel started glowing
"what the heck" said phoenix and then he was SUCKED INTO THE BIBLE
All: …
Phoenix: …Okay, this is getting odd.
phoenix woke up on the ground in bible times
Maya: Time travel! Just what we needed!
"ugh my head" he said and he got up and saw jesus standing in front of him
"hello my child" said jesus
"coly how it's jesus" said phoenix
Phoenix: “Coly how”?
Edgeworth: I think the author just switched the first letter of “holy” and “cow” for some reason.
"yes my child i request that you assist me" said jesus
Phoenix: This isn’t going where I think it’s going…
Maya: Well, considering past sporkings… Yes, yes it is.
"anything for you jesus you died for mu sins" said phoenix
"yes butt you see i was accused of murder" said jesus
Phoenix: I knew it!
Edgeworth: We all knew it. Your cases always end up being murder cases.
"WHAT" said phoenix "YOU COULD NOT DO MURDER"
Phoenix: You know, the author could’ve just written, “Phoenix yelled” instead of abusing the capslock button like this.
Maya: That poor, poor capslock button.
"well i need you to defend me in court so i can die on the cross instead" said jesus
"because if i dont die on the cross then peoples sins wont be forgiven"
Maya: What’s with the random break in the paragraph like that?
Phoenix: It looks like someone took the rule about having each piece of dialogue in its own paragraph a bit too seriously.
Edgeworth: That would imply this author is following any rules at all.
"ok" said phoniex "but wait do courtrooms exist here?"
Edgeworth: Of course, Ancient Rome had courtrooms. I think the more pertinent question would be “How am I supposed to defend you in a legal system I know nothing about?”
"i made them exist" said jesus "now please go investigate so you can defend me my child"
All: …
Phoenix: I think the better question here is “How is the author going to write about a legal system they know nothing about?”
"OK" said phoenix
_ INESTIGATION _
All: It’s Investigation, not Inestigation!
phoenix went to the investigation place but a voice appeared in his head
Edgeworth: I assume that the voice is supposed to be God.
Phoenix: That’s a safe bet. What is this “investigation place”?
Maya: I think it’s the crime scene.
Phoenix: Well, why didn’t the author just write that?
"PHOENIX WRIGHT YOU SHOULD FORGE EVIDENSE TO WIN THE CASE" said the voice
All: ………
Edgeworth: …I can’t believe it…
Phoenix: Edgeworth, what are you talking about?
Edgeworth: Christians believe God is all-knowing. So if God is all-knowing, why would tell Wright to forge evidence instead of telling him what evidence will prove that Jesus didn’t murder the victim?
All: ……
Phoenix: …Wow. Just, wow.
"ok" said phoenix and he forgd evidence to get jesus a not guilty
Edgeworth: Well, there goes Wright’s ethics.
Phoenix: …
- AT THE COURTROOM -
"court is now in session" said the judge who was also sucked to bible times
Phoenix: Well, at least they bothered to explain it.
"i am ready your honotr" said phoenix
"where is the prosecutor" said judge and then the prosecution desk caught on fire
a red guy with horns pooped up behind it
Edgeworth: Really? Are you really making Satan the prosecutor?
Maya: Heh. “Pooped”.
Satan gives his opening statement.
"jesus was witnessed by a witness who witnessed jesus committing the crime that he witnessed as a witness" said satan
All: …
Phoenix: He should have at least said the crime was murder.
"there is also evidence for him" said satan and he presented a glove and a knife
"wtf those don't exist yet" said phoenix but the judge penilized him
Phoenix: I’m not an expert but I think those things did exist already.
Edgeworth: We’ve already established the author doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
"i cALL my witness to the stand, judas" said satan
"hi im judas" said judas "this is my testimoney"
Edgeworth: Of course Judas is the witness. It’s as if the author just uses the first person they can think of.
"i saw jesus stab the guy with the knife"
"he was craped but he didn't want to"
Phoenix: “He was craped”? Who was “craped”? And what does that even mean?
Maya: Heh. “Craped”.
Judas says Jesus was wearing two gloves.
"OBJECTINE" said phoenix th"ERE IS ONLY ONE GLOVE"
Maya: What is “Objectine”? The liquid form of “Objection”?
Phoenix claims that there is only one glove because Satan stole the other glove.
Maya: Or Satan lost it.
Edgeworth: Or Satan forged the evidence.
Phoenix: Or Judas lied. I shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions this early.
"NO" said satan "YOU CANT PROVE IT"
"YES I CAN" said phoenix "LOOK AT THIS PICTURE" he pulled out the picture he forged and showed it
Phoenix: A picture? Gloves and knives may have exist, but cameras certainly didn’t.
the picture showed satan stealing one of the gloves
Phoenix: How did I know to forge a picture depicting that?
Maya: You must be psychic, Nick!
Satan presents evidence proving that Phoenix forged the picture.
"HOW DID YOU KNOW" said phoneix
"IM THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU TO LOL" said satan
Edgeworth: …I guess that voice wasn’t really God.
Phoenix: Jesus must be innocent after all.
Maya: What a twist!
"MR WRIGHT YOU FORGED EVIDENCE?" said judge
"yes i did im sorry judge" said phoenix
"i am afrad you are disbared" said the judge
"NOOOOOO" said PHOENIX
Phoenix: So, according to this fic, Klavier is Satan?
Maya: So that’s why rock n’ roll is Satanic!
"wait" said jesus
"what you want" said satan
"phoenix said he was sory and he was tempted by satan, i forgive him for his sins and you should too" said jesus
"aww man okay phoenix i forgive you" said the judge and phoenix didnt get disbarred
Edgeworth: The Bar Association doesn’t just give people back their badges just because they say Jesus forgives them, author.
There’s some more dialogue but Judas interrupts the court.
"WAIT" said judas "IM SORRY SATAN SAID IF I TOLD TRUTH I WOULD GO TO HELL"
All: …
Edgeworth: Why would you think that telling the truth would make you go to hell? And why would you believe Satan anyways?
"IT WAS REALLY SATAN WHO DO IT"
Edgeworth: …And how do you know that?
Phoenix: Nothing about this murder has ever really been explained.
"WHAT" said satan "YOU FOOL I SIAD NO LE"
All: …
Maya: What?
"i see then" judge said "i pronounce satan guilty"
"NOOOOOOO" said satan and he disappeared back to hell
Phoenix: …You know, they never really said who the victim was.
Edgeworth: Hm. Judging by this fic, the victim here must be proper capitalization.
"thank you my child" said satan
All: ……
Phoenix: Apparently, Jesus is Satan now.
Jesus sends Phoenix home.
"that was cool" said phoenix and he had no idea what to do now
"i know, ill go tell edggworth about jesus" said phoenix and he left to make edgeworth a christian
Edgeworth: E-Excuse me? Why do you assume I’m not a Christian?
Phoenix: And why do you assume I am?
Maya: And where am I in this fic?
Phoenix and Edgeworth: ……
Maya: What?
THE END
Maya: Yay! We’re free!
(The lights flicker back on.)
Phoenix: Ugh. We’re going to get so much hate mail over this one.
Maya: Hey, cheer up! At least it’s better than getting no mail at all!
Phoenix: But I am already getting mail, Maya…
Maya: Oh.
Edgeworth: Anyways, you can always ignore it. Or report the threating ones to the police. That’s what I do.
Phoenix: You get hate mail?
Edgeworth: Are you really so naïve to think that a former “Demon Prosecutor” and current Chief Prosecutor doesn’t get hate mail?
Phoenix: …I just sort of assumed all you got was fan mail.
Edgeworth: Ugh. I get those, too.
Maya: Man! I wish I got fan mail.
Phoenix: (Me too.)
Edgeworth: Well, that’s funny because I wish I didn’t.
(And then the teleporter flashed and all three were transported to their proper time and place.)
Ooh, we can send hate mail?
"wtf edgys not a christian wat r u taking abot!1/11? and wots 'craped' nyway"
That aside, not bad. Lately, I've been holding shorter sporkings in higher regard because I seem to have less time these days, so thanks. It was an amusing read, though since the fic was short and clearly a bad attempt at trolling, it didn't give the sporkers all that much to really comment on.
AireyVerkhovensky wrote:I'll always wonder why every fandom has to have at least one bizarre Christianity fic.
Holy crap (or should i say coly hrap). I'm in the hospital and I can't tell you how hard it is trying to hold back my laughter. How do these people come up with this stuff?
Anyway, that was great. Thanks for that. I didn't really think it was offensive.
I've heard rumors… Bramimond, one of the eight legends, devoted himself entirely to the dark. All emotion, all memory… dissolved in a river of dark. That is how he received the power to best dragons
@Bramimond I was mostly offended by its depiction of Phoenix and how easily he decided to forge evidence because a mysterious voice told him to. Even in Apollo Justice,
Spoiler:
Phoenix only forged evidence when he absolutely had to.
(And he was sort of out of character in that game.)
*browsing forums* Ooooh, new sporking!
I like it, and pooped is just the best typo ever. Let's put that in the... Sporking... Record... Books...
That's a thing now.
I've been following the spork theater for quite sometime now, and I've just got to say: This is, by far, the best thread on the forums. Never have I onced laughed as much as I have just by reading through one you guys' sporks.
I've always wanted to make one of my own, but I never really knew where to begin. For me, the toughest part would have to be writing the characters themselves.
What did you all do to get to where you are? Any tips and rules to use when writing the characters, and their quirks? What do you do to make sure they stay in-characters, while also being hilarious in the end?
All help appreciated!
Last edited by Rocket on Wed Oct 21, 2015 3:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
How did I get where I am?
I've only done like 2 sporkings so I can't say. *ignores his actual first 2*
I try and keep their quirks by checking the wiki and just going off memory of the games, really (I like to replay the games bi-weekly/monthly)
And I guess to encourage you: You can't do worse than me.
Personally, when I'm writing Ace Attorney characters, I imagine what sprite would accompany what they're saying.
You could also go back and read over their dialogue out loud in your best impression of their voice/what you imagine their voice sounds like. (Of course, you should do that anyway, with any set of characters, to make sure everyone's dialogue sounds natural.)
I write my sporkings with a touch of drama as if they're on a TV show. (There was such a theme in theater canon that was gradually built up.) What's most important is that the characters have to feel natural being in a sporking, even if they also are uncomfortable, begrudged, disturbed, or anything related to being upset. The Management is entirely dependent on you, though, and we have messed around so that any character can take their place if the sporking calls for it.
Also, it's always best to take your time with writing a sporking. Sometimes, the best ideas or jokes come to you after a bit of thought.
I haven't really sporked many fics, but for the ones I did, I mostly tried to imitate what I saw in the sporks I had read. You know, when in Rome, do as the Romans.
A quick question for everyone: How many of you would prefer that I keep or leave out the "story" components I throw into some of my sporkings? I usually try to go for something that's a little different each time to keep the sporkings feeling a bit fresh in some way, but I admit that I may let my headcanons run wild when I do, and the result can feel a bit like fanfiction of my own brand.
I will pursue it even further if most of us agree that I should keep them, though.
I vote for keep! Although it does seem like you put in a little too much effort with them sometimes, and it'd kind of suck to have such a silly hobby become a stressor. I looooove your story-sporkings, but don't worry too much if you get writer's block over one! Don't feel like you're letting anyone down if you want to rein it in a bit!
Law Plus Chaos would be glorious, but ehh... It might take a while.
And some of the... Actions... Couldn't simply be done with sprites and pictures like this.
cuteyounggirlplus wrote:@Oliver
Is that our Dr. Oscid?
If it is, I'm happy for them and want to see more of these in the future. (Do Law plus Chaos!)
Heads-up, cygp. I just so innocently left a comment on that video introducing your work. ;) If it isn't flagged as spam, then you know who to blame! XD
I just finished all the parts to Leapin Logic...! That got me through a tough week, so funny. The case and the investigation reeked of a bad Criminal Minds episode.
I just finished all the parts to Leapin Logic...! That got me through a tough week, so funny. The case and the investigation reeked of a bad Criminal Minds episode.
What is with you guys always saying the fics are bad? They're top quality, we always make sure of that.
cuteyounggirlplus wrote:@Oliver
Is that our Dr. Oscid?
If it is, I'm happy for them and want to see more of these in the future. (Do Law plus Chaos!)
Hey, yeah, that's me. :P
Right now I'm working on " DAMON GANT ESCAPS FROM PRISOOOOOOON". Which may or may not end up going well.
As for "Law Plus Chaos", it's a possibility, but as Oliver said it would take a while. It took me something like 10 hours of work just to do a simple fanfic like "phoenix wright ace christian".
AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Personally, when I'm writing Ace Attorney characters, I imagine what sprite would accompany what they're saying.
You could also go back and read over their dialogue out loud in your best impression of their voice/what you imagine their voice sounds like. (Of course, you should do that anyway, with any set of characters, to make sure everyone's dialogue sounds natural.)
Ha ha, what a coincidence! I just happen to do the same thing when I'm reading a spork, or a fic of some kind. You can tell an author's done a good job if you can just hear the character's voice in your head while reading.
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:I write my sporkings with a touch of drama as if they're on a TV show. . .
Also, it's always best to take your time with writing a sporking. Sometimes, the best ideas or jokes come to you after a bit of thought.
Cheers!
To take my time huh? I guess I could slow down a bit. I just discovered this thread a few days ago, and I already want to start making my own sporks! But thanks for the input, Rubia. You, and your sports have been a long time source of laughter whenever I log on.
Oliver wrote:
And I guess to encourage you: You can't do worse than me.
Well, don't know about that yet. Still havent tried doing a spork myself. Who knows?
Also, quick question: How many of you have tried like writing exercises? To practice both your storytelling, aswell character interaction, and to keep them from OCC'ing? If you have, do you find it to help you out a lot when your writing you sporks? Especially when writing tricky characters like Fransiska?
I made such a good decision to spork Law Plus Chaos.
@Rocket: I don't think I've ever done a writing exercise in my life. Heck, I can't even write a oneshot without giving it a sequel, or maybe another four chapters.
I've taken some creative writing classes before and even written some (non-published) short stories, too. I say go for writing exercises, but just remember that sporks aren't really done in paragraph format.
Writing exercises are useful for brainstorming ideas, but when it comes to the actual sporking, they might not quite fit. It's also important to keep the sporking consistently cohesive, so it doesn't sound like a bunch of unrelated points collected together (like how some fanfiction go, ick). It's also a good idea to save up on some jokes in case you run into moments when you've run into writer's block, and they are abound.
You could also do as I do and incorporate a little story structure or theme to it, but it may take a bit more planning ahead. Since we're not running on any deadline, take as much time as you like, even if the thread may become quiet for a good while.
but even then it's probably not even going to be good.
Tumblr (