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phoenix wright MUSHROOM attorney
P. Luigi: I guess that confirms this is a crossover, right?
Phoenix: Yeah... we don't like these things. At all.
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phoenix wright has in his house watching tv.
Maya: Nick! Stop sitting around and take some cases already!
Phoenix: I want to, Maya, but the Management forbid it.
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"that was a weird adventure" he said because he was in sonic world to defend sonic
P. Luigi: Sonic? That overconfident animal who can't run the 100m for his life?
Phoenix: I take it this is set after another crossover fic...
Speakers: One we will be producing in this very theater, Mr Wright.
Phoenix&Maya: Oh please, no!
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"im bored now" said phoenic, "i want to defend someone so i can get money"
Maya: That's the spirit, FicNick! Nick, you learn a lot from FicNick!
Phoenix:
(Learning from fic!me.... I must be sinking to new lows.)Quote:
but then the door opened
a man wearing an overalls and a red hat walked in
P. Luigi: Oh, that'd be my bro!
Phoenix: You're... brother?
Maya: Duh, Nick, it's Mario, of course!
Phoenix: Oh! So, I guess he's been accused of a crime and wants me to defend him?
P. Luigi: Aren't you lawyers supposed to be the ones who visit their clients in that case?
Phoenix: This is a fanfiction. In the sporking theater.
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"who are you" said phoenix
"its a me mario" said him
Maya: Hi Him, what's a Memario?
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"why you here" said phoenix
"my brother luigi got murdered accused" said maruo
All: UHHH?
P. Luigi: Wait, was I murdered or accused?
Phoenix: I'm guessing the author decided to change the plot and whited out "murdered"
Maya: And who's Maruo? A foreign name for Mario?
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"ok where is he" said phoneix
"hes in the detention center" said mario
Maya: Wow, Nick, Mario knows more about this lawyer stuff than you do!
P. Luigi: Heh. Yeah, my bro's pretty amazing like that.
Phoenix: Come on, I am NOT this stupid!
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"ok" said phoenix
_AT THE DETETION CENTER_
Phoenix: Detention Center.
Maya&Luigi: ....
Maya: Is that it?
Phoenix: It was bugging me, and Franziska isn't here to correct it for me.
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"hi mam" said luigi who was arrested
Phoenix: Hi son.
P. Luigi: Okay, I guess I wasn't murdered. Good.
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"hi luigi" said mario i mean phoenix
P. Luigi: Wait, what?
Maya: What was the point of that?
Oops, that was Phoenix, not Maya. Sorry!Quote:
"how did you get here" said phoenix
Maya: He fell out of a cloud and into Wario's dungeon.
Phoenix: Or he was arrested.
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"well i got accused of killing princess daisy"
P. Luigi: I what?! What who?!
Maya: N-Now Luigi, I know this may be hard, but there are other girls out there, y'know?
P. Luigi: Yes, and the only one that matters a thousand miles away off the coast of Rogueport. What am I gonna do now?!
Phoenix: You can leave the theater and forget this ever happened.
Speakers: You cannot leave yet, Mr Wright.
Phoenix: Don't listen to them, Luigi, it's easy. Watch!
Phoenix bursted out of the room. Nobody stopped him. A minute later, he walked back in and got back in his seat without another word.Phoenix: Oh... right.
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"did you do it" said phoenix
"no" said luigi
"ok" said phoenix "i will defend you byt i need to investigate first"
P. Luigi: So... you'll just believe me like that?
Phoenix: I guess if no pysche locks showed up, I would believe you.
Maya: Even though that hasn't always worked.
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-AT INVESTIGATION PALCE-
Phoenix: Investigation place?
Maya: Where have I heard that, before?
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"where is the evidence" said phoenix but then a guy came up and his name was gumpshoe
P. Luigi: Wouldn't the evidence be found on the crime scene?
Maya: Yeah Nick, stop hanging around this Investigation Place and head there instead.
Phoenix: I think this IS the crime scene.
Maya: Yet you had to ask where the evidence is. Zvarri! You're not at the crime scene!
Phoenix: ... I won't comment on that. Anyway, Gumpshoe's here!
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"hi pal you cant get the evidence" said gumshoe
"why not said" phoenix
"because its for the prosecutor to make your client guilty" said gumshoe
Phoenix: So in other words, it's the same as always, they just decided to treat me like scum for this case.
P. Luigi: Can't you just look at the crime scene?
Maya: No, he's not even there.
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"whos the prosecutor" said phoenix</p><p>"his name is bowser but im not supposed to tell you" said gumshoe
Phoenix: You just did.
P. Luigi: BOWSER is the prosecutor?!
Phoenix: Is that a problem? We've had Satan as a prosecutor before, it can't be THAT bad, right?
P. Luigi: Yes it's a problem! Bowser in court is never going to go well. That's why he's still around!
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"then why did you tell me just now" said phoenix
"oh shit im gonna lose my salary pal" said gumshoe
Maya: Hey! Language, Gumshoe!
Phoenix: He's going to
lose his salary? It's not going to be deducted? ...Actually, that sounds about right.
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"pls dont say anybody"
"ok i wont as long as you let me evidence" said phoenix
Phoenix: That's just going to make it worse for him!
Maya: No it won't, Nick, he's already lost his salary!
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"ok fine pal" said gumshoe
P. Luigi: Do all investigations go like this?
Phoenix: I wish. It'd save me from beatings, electric shocks, mafia enounters, and other events I'd rather not get involved it.
P. Luigi: You might get much, much worse at the trial though... knowing the prosecutor.
Phoenix: *Gulp*
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_AT THE TRIAL_
"are bort sides ready" said the judge
Maya: We're bort ready, Your Honor!
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"yes you honor" said phoenix but the prosecutor side had nobody in it
P. Luigi: How did the judge not notice that?
Phoenix: Ugh, great, the old "late prosecutor" cliche again.
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"wheres the prosecutor" said phoenix
"well if hes not here then i claim mr luigi to be-" said the judge but then he was cut OFF
BY A BIG OBJECTION AND FIRE
Phoenix: F-FIRE?!
Maya: Nick, the prosecutor's a dragon!
P. Luigi: Nah, it's just Bowser.
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the judge's beard got burned off
Maya: Not the beard!
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and when the smoke was gone it was BOWSER who was the prosecute
Phoenix: Dramatic reveal! Oh wait, we already knew he was the prosecutor.
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"bwahaha" said bower "i am going to beat you mario" said bowser
Phoenix: That's not something you just announce in a courtroom.
P. Luigi: My bro will never be beaten by you, Bowser!
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"no" said mario
P. Luigi: Yeah, you tell him, bro!
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"please give your opening opening statement" said judge
"ok shit man" said bowser
Maya: Language, Bowser!
Phoenix: Is Bowser
annoyed with the judge for that? He asked nicely!
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"luigi did the crime, we know because of the knife but someone stole all our other evidence so ignore those.
Phoenix: So he has no evidence against my client, but he wants us to ignore that fact.
Maya: And everyone will ignore it.
Phoenix: This guy's good.
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mr luigi was found not conscious by the dead victim, holding the knifo"
P. Luigi: Well, of course I'd be found asl- I mean, uh... never mind.
Maya: So he was holding the "knifo". How does that prove anything?
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"ok" said the judge "i wonder who stole the evidence"
it was phoenix but he didn't say so
Phoenix: His Honor doesn't seem to care much about the stolen evidence.
Maya: Wait, Nick stole the evidence?
P. Luigi: Now that you mention it...
Phoenix: Why would I want to STEAL the evidence? I would just want to know what the evidence is.
Maya: That's how it normally goes.
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"bowser you can call witnesses now" said the judge
"ok" said judge
All: .....
Phoenix: Um.... are you okay, Your Honor?
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"i call gumshoe to the stand"
P. Luigi: Oh, that guy again. I bet now he'll tell the court that you stole the evidence.
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gumshoe got on the stand
"hi pals im gumshos" said gumshoe
"give us your OPENING TESTIMONY NOW" said bowser and he breathed fire on his desk
Maya: Woah, Bowser, you might damage that thing!
Phoenix: Is Gumshoe not going to give his occupation, too?
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"OK OK" said gumshoe
"we know it was luigi because of the evidence witnesses"
Phoenix: The evidence?
Maya: The witnesses?
P. Luigi: The evidence AND witnesses?
Speakers: Nah, it's probably the witness's evidence.
I personally think it's the evidence's witnesses.Quote:
"we have lots of evidence"
P. Luigi: Wasn't it stolen?
Phoenix: Yes, and that's why I'm going to raise an objection right now!
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"also the witnesses saw him do it"
Phoenix: ....Right now!
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"OBJECTION" said phoenix "you dont have evidence it got stolen remember"
Phoenix: There we go!
P. Luigi: That was an easy contradiction...
Maya: Yeah! Hey, Nick, didn't Luigi spot that contradiction before you?
Phoenix: What? Well, I'm not sure.
Maya: Wow! The Mario brothers are much better at this lawyer stuff than you, Nick!
P. Luigi: Well, I wouldn't go that far.
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"OHHH YEAAAAH" said gumshoe
"lol no we still have the knife with fingerprints that he shot the victim with" said bowser
Phoenix: And that fact only comes to light now.
P. Luigi: Fingerprints? But... I usually wear gloves.
Maya: Hey, you're right! Nick, you totally should have noticed that!
Phoenix:
(Ignore her, Phoenix... Ignore her!)Quote:
"DAMMIT" said wright
"phoenix you can do it" said mario
"ok" said phoenix and he presented luigis gloves
Phoenix: "OK" said Phoenix and he confessed to stealing the evidence."
Narrating is my job, Mr Wright.Phoenix: But that's exactly what fic!me has just done!
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"LUIGI WEARS GLOVES HIS FINGERPTINS COULD NOT BE ON THE KNIFE!" he said
"you idiot he could have take them off" said bowser
P. Luigi: Except I'm not an idiot.
Phoenix: And I'm not an idiot, either.
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"why would he take gloves off to commit murder" said phoenix "obviously to FRAME SOMEONE ELSE"
P. Luigi: I what?
Maya: Luigi wanted to frame someone?
Phoenix: Well, that was worded poorly.
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"WHAAAAAAAAT" said bowser
"its simple" said phoenix "someone used luigi's fingerprints to touch the knife"
Phoenix: As if that wasn't an obvious explanation.
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"BULL SHIT" said bowser "YOU CANT PROVE IT"
Phoenix: Yes I can, because I have the evidence and noone here is smart enough to realize I stole it when I present it!
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"hm your right" said phoenix "bring in the next witness"
Phoenix: ...Or I could play it safe.
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"fine" said bowser "WALUIGI get up here"
"WAA im walogigi" said waluigi
Phoenix: Why doesn't anyone in this fic ever give their occupations?
P. Luigi: Wait... what is Waluigi's job, anyway?
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"TESTIMONY" said bowser
"ok" said waluigi
Maya: Calm down, Bowser. Sheesh.
Phoenix: Yeah, not even Manfred von Karma was like this.
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"i saw luigi killing princess daisy"
"he was daisys girlfriend but he killed her because she cheat on him"
P. Luigi: WH-WHA-? Hey, it wasn't like that!
Phoenix:
(That's not what you were saying earlier)P. Luigi: And-and who was she also seeing, anyway? Mario? Tatanga? You?! Wait, I bet it was Lemmy! It was, wasn't it?!
Phoenix: Can we PLEASE stop pressing this point?
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"they went into the alley but he killed her"
P. Luigi: We finally find out where the crime scene was!
Maya: Aside from just the "Investigation Place."
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OBJECTION said wright "I PRESENT THE ROCK"
Phoenix: Okay, now they're
definitely going to call me out.
P. Luigi: On stealing the evidence?
Phoenix: No, of bluffing.
Maya: They did that a LONG time ago.
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"wtf is that" said boser
"this rock has luigi blood on it meaning it was used to KNOCK HIM OUT" said wright
Phoenix: Or the blood was planted there.
Maya: Or Luigi stubbed his toe on it.
P. Luigi: Or it actually knocked me out.
Phoenix: Whatever happened, I'm really jumping to conclusions here.
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"so daisy used it to knock him out" said bowser
"but it doesnt have daisys fingerprints on it" said wright
Maya: Wouldn't that prove Luigi didn't kill her? He was found unconcious, right?
Phoenix: I could say that, but the fic doesn't agree.
P. Luigi: But...
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"NOOOOOO" said bowser
so this means someone with gloves knocked out luigi" said phoenix
P. Luigi: But Daisy ALSO wears gloves!
Phoenix: Really? Well, what the heck am I talking about, then?!
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"IT MUST HAVE BEEN WALUIGIS" said mario
"WAAAA" said waluigi "NO IT WASNT MEEE"
Phoenix: So it was Waluigi because he wears gloves.
P. Luigi: Well, gloves ARE really expensive over in that world. 6000 coins, it said on the price tag.
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"THEN WHO WAS IT" SAID PHOENIX
"IT WAS BOWSER" said waluigi
P. Luigi: But Bowser is the ONLY one involved who doesn't wear gloves!
Phoenix: Oh, but they don't care, the truth always prevails in these fics.
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"HE MADE ME LIE MY TESTIMONY"
"NO SHUT UP" said bowser
Maya: WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?!
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"THAT MEANS" said wright IT MUST HAVE BEEN BOWSER" "BECAUSE BOWSER HAS NO FINGERPTINS!"
All: ....
Phoenix: Can we test that?
Maya: Or someone else could have worn gloves.
P. Luigi: It's getting hard to follow all of this.
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"NOOOOOOOOOO" said bowser and he breathed fire on his desk and it exploded sending him far away
P. Luigi: If he doesn't break the screen again, that's fine.
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"ok i declare defendant not guilty" said judge
Phoenix: Well, THAT was easy.
Maya: How come nobody has noticed fic!Nick had all the stolen evidence?
Phoenix: Because this is a fanfiction!
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"YAY I WON" said phoenix
_AFTER TRIAL_
"so bowser kill princess daisy?" said luigi
Phoenix: Who knows, it's not like we proved it.
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"i dont know" said phoenix
Phoenix: Even the fic admits it!!
P. Luigi: ...Are ALL of these fanfictions like this?
Phoenix&Maya: Yes.
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"but good thing is ur not in jail"
Phoenix: Unless you're the killer, which we can't disprove for sure.
P. Luigi: I am NOT the killer!
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"yeah" said mario "lets go eat spaghetti"
"ew i hate spaghetti" said phoenix
"WHAT" said mario and he punched him so hard he went back home
P. Luigi: Yeah! That's my bro!
Phoenix: I don't hate spaghetti! I just... don't like it so much.
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"well at least i have hot dogs" said phoenix but he looked in his fridge and they were all gone
Maya: *Gulp*
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"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Phoenix: Thank you, author, for wrapping this up so randomly.
The lights try to brighten, but not by much.