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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineProsecutor Mon Feb 29, 2016 3:34 am
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AireyVerkhovensky

Cause of death is being dummy

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Posts: 812

I read "late singer" and thought that it was going to be a fic about David Bowie.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Feb 29, 2016 5:27 pm
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Rubia Ryu the Royal

Racing through the sky like a Missile

Gender: Female

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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

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Have we found a fic feat. David Bowie yet?

Thanks for keeping the thread up, Skittle. Lately, I've been going through a phase where I didn't really want to get back to sporking, as amusing as my current fic is. I'll eventually finish it, but it might take a little while more...
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Tue Mar 01, 2016 8:15 am
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Ana R.

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Posts: 118

Just gonna drop this here...
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11817240/1 ... nabout-hat
Image Image Image Image
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Wed Mar 02, 2016 3:40 am
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DrOcsid

On a road to nowhere.

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Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:19 pm

Posts: 51

ArrowLawn wrote:
Just gonna drop this here...
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11817240/1 ... nabout-hat

This style is awfully familiar. Especially the being sucked into the DS...
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Wed Mar 02, 2016 6:03 pm
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Ana R.

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The author of that last fic has already made another "gem", this one's a crossover with Snow White. And, fortunately, this one ISN'T identical to the original Jakkid trilogy.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11820086/1 ... bout-apple
Image Image Image Image
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Wed Mar 02, 2016 6:16 pm
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Rubia Ryu the Royal

Racing through the sky like a Missile

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6180

I'm not sure why, but this one is actually funnier. Maybe it's just the thought of seven ace attorneys scrunched up into a single crackfic. And it doesn't rely on incredibly terrible spelling that has fallen out of taste with me. If only I wasn't already occupied with a sporking...
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Thu Mar 03, 2016 5:43 pm
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Polly

Hello! Hello! *squawk*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2015 3:38 am

Posts: 67

Title: trilo x hotti
Author: Barrylawn., who has a couple other fics that have been linked to in this thread, by the way.
Fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11821817/1/trilo-x-hotti
Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit:
The usual, typos, lack of capitalization, and just intentionally bad.

Our sporkers today are:

:phoenix: Phoenix Wright!

:edgeworth: Miles Edgeworth!

:maya: And Maya Fey!

Spoiler:
The sporkers enter the theater. They take their seats and the lights turn off.

Quote:
trilo x dr hotti
by Barrylawn


Phoenix: Is that the title, or just a description?
Edgeworth: I believe that is the title. Exactly what it says on the tin, I expect, but rather uncreative.

Quote:
trilo quist was sick of being attatched to the fool bens hand so he jumped out and ran away.


Edgeworth: This is the puppet from that circus case you took, yes?
Phoenix: Er, yeah.
Edgeworth: How was it able to jump off on it’s own then? For that matter, if it could, why didn’t it before?
Phoenix: It’s a fic, no use trying to explain these things.
Maya: I wonder if Trilo learned the word fool from Franziska?

Quote:
"trilo come back" said ben but it was to late because trilo was already a million miles away from the circus.


Maya: Wow, trilo can run faster than even Pearly.

Quote:
"its because of him" said trilo "that i could never have a chance with reginaberry."


Phoenix: Or, you know, because you’re a puppet.

Quote:
trilo walked across the mud hopeless until he walked into a foot.

"ouch" he said. he looked up and saw the man that would change his life forever.


Maya: Erm, is this supposed to be love at first sight?
Edgeworth: You weren’t actually expecting character development, were you?

Quote:
"hmm yes" said director hotti "heh heh. and what is this sexy little thing"

trilos cloth heart started beating hard.


Maya: I didn’t think puppets had cloth hearts.
Edgeworth: I think this is supposed to be a bit of artistic license, to make the puppet seem attracted here.

Quote:
"i am trilo"

"i am hmm yes director hotti. heh heh. you can trust me... im a police officer. hoh. hoh."


Phoenix: Oh, so he’s pretending to be a police officer now, is he?

Quote:
hotti started searching inside his surgeon coat.


Edgeworth: And why would a police officer be wearing a surgeon coat?

Quote:
"ah here it is" said hotti pulling out a paper badge. "heh."


Phoenix: You can’t seriously expect anybody to fall for a paper officer’s badge, can you?
Maya: I don’t know, you wouldn’t expect anybody to fall for a cardboard attorney’s badge, would you?
Phoenix:…

Quote:
"okay." said trilo and they went to hottis home to have sex. but then someone came in.


Maya: That was… fast.

Quote:
"mr hickfield what is that"


Edgeworth: And now the author has the incorrect name. This is Hotti, not Hickfield.
Phoenix: Same guy, just impersonating a different doctor.
Maya: Or police officer.

Quote:
"uh oh. the nurse." said hotti.


Edgeworth: Wait, this is at Hotti’s home, not workplace. Why is the nurse there?

Quote:
hotti got up and tried to convince the nurse to let him keep it but the bitch grabbed trilo and threw him in the trash can. trilo tried to get out but it was too dirty to see anything.


Phoenix: Not that I’m opposed, but the nurse can’t just barge into his home and get rid of his things, can she?

Quote:
eventually someone picked it up and trilo tried to call for help but the person couldnt hear him because they didnt speak puppet unlike ben and hotti.


Phoenix: Since when was puppet a language?
Edgeworth: Even if it was a language, why would Hotti have bothered to learn it?
Maya: Maybe in case he had to operate on a puppet?
Phoenix: You don’t operate on puppets. What would you even need to do?
Maya: Well, he has a cloth heart.

Quote:
trilo instead jumped out and punched the person in the face and it turned out to be the nurse so trilo felt good about it. he rushed back to hottis room where hotti was asleep. suddenly the heart rate monitor stopped!


Maya: Oh no!

Quote:
but it was okay it was for another patient named maya fey so nobody was sad.

Maya: …I would be sad.

Quote:
hotti woke up and saw his puppet staring up to him. he picked it up.

"trilo"

"hotti"


Edgeworth: Wait, so is Hotti at work or is he a patient right now?
Phoenix: It sounds like he’s a patient, but the author didn’t bother to mention why he was suddenly admitted to the hospital.

Quote:
they spent the rest of the week in the hospital bed and when hotti got out of the hospital he brought trilo home and did dirty things to him and then trilo did dirty things to him and they both did dirty things to each other. after 5 months of sex they looked at the tv and saw pheonix write getting disbarred and reminded trilo of his days at the circus so he went back home promising to wright hotti a letter every hour.

THE END


Phoenix: Did they really need to mention the whole disbarment thing?
Edgeworth: That would be quite a lot of letters to write.
Maya: You mean letters to “Wright”.
Phoenix: Again with the Wright puns…

The lights turn back on and the sporkers exit the theater.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Thu Mar 03, 2016 6:00 pm
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Rubia Ryu the Royal

Racing through the sky like a Missile

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6180

Sorry for this little interruption, but I've finally made up my mind. I think I'm going to drop sporking for a good while. I just haven't been in the mood to get any done, even if I change to a different fic or whatnot. I'll still be around to leave a few comments or critiques or something from time to time, but I need a break. In the meantime, the Undertale crossover I was working on is now free for others to take.

But I'm not dropping fan writing entirely. I'll just be returning to some of my fanfiction works in my thread elsewhere in this subforum, and I think I should focus on one thing at a time.

Good luck to the rest of ya! We need to keep this theater strong!

@Polly
That was an odd fic... not really funny, just odd. Good job on the main sporking, but I feel like the beginning and end are lacking. I used to think the intro and outro weren't that important to a sporking, but they generally give the whole thing a sense of completion. The way they so abruptly come and go without much thought to it leaves the characters feeling really flat and static, even if the lines they say during the sporking are just right.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Tue Mar 08, 2016 10:05 pm
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wizkid99

"Sorry to keep you waiting"

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*Finally catches up with 23-ish pages of sporking and collapses from exhaustion*
*pant**pant**pant* Hey there, do any of you remember me? No? That guy who just sort of wandered in at Page 13 and offered blood sacrifices to the sporking gods before dropping off the face of Court Records? Yeah.

It so nice to see you guys after so many months, and I want to supply more fanfics in the future. Or, at least as long as my Interest in AA can last. :gumshoe:

*cough* If anyone is interested, I have a guide on doing a MST although I wonder how helpful it will be, considering that keeping the characters in-character is a very important of making a good sporking here. I'll just let you judge for yourselves.
Image
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineProsecutor Tue Mar 08, 2016 10:29 pm
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AireyVerkhovensky

Cause of death is being dummy

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wizkid99 wrote:
*Finally catches up with 23-ish pages of sporking and collapses from exhaustion*
*pant**pant**pant* Hey there, do any of you remember me? No? That guy who just sort of wandered in at Page 13 and offered blood sacrifices to the sporking gods before dropping off the face of Court Records? Yeah.

It so nice to see you guys after so many months, and I want to supply more fanfics in the future. Or, at least as long as my Interest in AA can last. :gumshoe:

*cough* If anyone is interested, I have a guide on doing a MST although I wonder how helpful it will be, considering that keeping the characters in-character is a very important of making a good sporking here. I'll just let you judge for yourselves.

Quote:
online and lately "msting" has stood for "Mary Sue Torture".

Actually, MST refers to MST3k (Mystery Science Theatre 3000), a TV show that pioneered the genre of sporking/mocking bad things via rapid-fire comedy. The first MSTs were done using characters from the show, and since it was - and still is - done in the style of the show, they were called MSTs.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Fri Mar 11, 2016 8:23 pm
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Ana R.

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So you've all been introduced to Jakkid the Second, but Jakkid the Third seems to have gone unnoticed.
So let's fix that by linking this slice of magic:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11835102/1 ... ut-monster
Image Image Image Image
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineMedium-in-training Sun Mar 13, 2016 12:53 pm
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Planetbox

ASCEND

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Location: The Other Side of Paradise

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Posts: 387

Hello, people! I'm Planetbox and I'm terrible at self-intros. I've been reading through this thread for a while, and I'd like to try doing a sporking myself! I did a "practice sporking" at one point, and it ended up not terrible enough that I think I could somewhat succeed on an actual one. For example, I'd be interested in doing that Undertale one Rubia was doing if it's not taken.
Vesti and Lauren's Interdimensional Investigations
This CYOA follows Vesti Gates and Lauren Tehra, two detectives who search for the truth, whether in their own dimension or otherwise.

Avatar from over here probably
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:43 pm
Consul Lentulus

AA6 Hype!

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:30 pm

Posts: 3

I come to spork! Straight out of Rome. Anyway, I think I will take the
vorefic.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sun Mar 13, 2016 8:07 pm
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Rubia Ryu the Royal

Racing through the sky like a Missile

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6180

Have fun you two. I may not be sporking anything atm, but I'll be around in case someone has questions or just wants some advice.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineMedium-in-training Sun Mar 13, 2016 11:11 pm
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Planetbox

ASCEND

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Location: The Other Side of Paradise

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Posts: 387

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Have fun you two. I may not be sporking anything atm, but I'll be around in case someone has questions or just wants some advice.


Actually, I have a question. Were you doing both parts of the Undertale fic, or had the first half already been sporked?
Vesti and Lauren's Interdimensional Investigations
This CYOA follows Vesti Gates and Lauren Tehra, two detectives who search for the truth, whether in their own dimension or otherwise.

Avatar from over here probably
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Mar 14, 2016 3:08 am
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Rubia Ryu the Royal

Racing through the sky like a Missile

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6180

Planetbox wrote:
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Have fun you two. I may not be sporking anything atm, but I'll be around in case someone has questions or just wants some advice.


Actually, I have a question. Were you doing both parts of the Undertale fic, or had the first half already been sporked?

I was going for both at once, so I didn't have anything published yet. You're free to take it. I don't think I'll get back to it.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:44 pm
JinniaFlyer450

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Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 12:21 am

Posts: 7

Dammit, now I want to get back to my AAO case and finish it. It was something I think someone may enjoy sporking, if AAO cases are in fact fair game. And, yes, I am one member of the unwashed masses who would, as a matter of fact, love to see someone pick apart my story. -laughs-
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Mar 14, 2016 9:05 pm
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Blizdi

Mia Payne

Gender: Male

Location: Winning All My God Damn Cases

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2013 1:11 am

Posts: 1356

JinniaFlyer450 wrote:
Dammit, now I want to get back to my AAO case and finish it. It was something I think someone may enjoy sporking, if AAO cases are in fact fair game. And, yes, I am one member of the unwashed masses who would, as a matter of fact, love to see someone pick apart my story. -laughs-


You should re-add me on skype
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Wed Mar 16, 2016 9:37 pm
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Ana R.

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Posts: 118

Sporking Theatre Presents...
Title: phoenix wright turnabout goat
Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: Heavy OOCness (Mainly from Godot and Gumshoe), Nonsensical plot, the Jakkid-esque capitalization/spelling, BLACK MAGIC, and other random, dumb parts (<Removed. I think the best part should be left completely unexpected>).
Author: Barrylawn.
Original Fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11841060/1 ... about-goat

Today's Sporkers Are:
Phoenix Wright!
:nick-sweat: Can't you sadists have one sporking without me?

Dick Gumshoe!
:eh?: Wow, pal, when was the last time I was here?

Godot!
:godot: Ha...! Beats sitting in prison with one mug of coffee for the day.

Aaaaand...!
The Goat From Goat Simulator!
:shelly: Baah! (Eats grass)

:ack: :spit: "What?!"

Nah, just kidding. It's actually Miles Edgeworth!
:edgeworth: "...I'm not laughing, Management."

(We open up in the Sporking Theatre once again! Phoenix is sitting down as Gumshoe and Edgeworth are escorting Godot to his seat.

Phoenix: "The Goat From Goat Simulator?" Who even is that?

Speakers: Someone capable of destroying our precious theatre, Mr Wright. We are NOT bringing him in.

Godot: Ha...! Now what's this, I hear? Could it be that our work of literature today is about goats?

Gumshoe: Hey, I have a goat! Her name's Maggey! Saves my life over and over, heh heh!

Edgeworth: (Sitting down) Hopefully this won't be too long... I really must be getting back to work!

(The lights dim, and the fanfiction begins!)
Spoiler:
Quote:
PHOENIX WRIGHT TURNABOUT GOAT


Gumshoe: Maggey?

Edgeworth: No.

Quote:
one day phoenix wright was at the cafe drinking mornig coffe with detective gumshoe and godot.

"this trite" said godot "is coffee"


Phoenix: I know what coffee is, Godot...

Godot: But you don't understand it, isn't that right, Trite? (sip)

Quote:
"oh fuck" said phoenix "yeah"

"hey pal" said gusmhoe "did you hear about the new case"

"no what is it" asked phoenix

"we arrested some goat for murder trite" said godot


Gumshoe: What? We arrest goats now?

Edgeworth: No, we do not arrest goats, Detective!

Phoenix: Sigh... This is gonna be a long one.

Quote:
"yeah pal and were gonna prove him guilty in court stay out of our way" said gumshoe like a menis to sociaty.


Godot: Gumshoe? A "menis to sociaty?" Ha...!

Quote:
"OBJECTION!" shouted phoenix "HAHA now that you told me i know the case exists so I WILL STOP YOU BOTH!" shouted phoenix

"damn it gumshoe whyd you tell him?!" shouted godot throwig his coffee at gummy


Phoenix: Right, because it was Gumshoe who told me the details.

Quote:
"aaagh sorry sir dont cut my salary"

"i wasnt plannig on cuttig your SALARY!" shouted godot grabbig his knife and he pushed gumsheo to the floor and they rolled around and everyone was screamig ad trying to get out.


Edgeworth: Wh- WHAT?! Someone call the police!

Gumshoe: What is he doing?!

Phoenix Sheesh, he really doesn't want me knowing about this murder.

Quote:
"WOAH GUYS CHILD!" shouted phenix but it was no use so he shrugged ad ran like everyone else so he didnt look suspicious.


Phoenix: Suspicious?! For trying to peacefully settle a fight?

Quote:
he rushed out pretending to be all scared and shit so noone would think he was involved in that shit but it was in vane.

"call the police!" shouted a guy in a hat (it wast layton fyi)


Edgeworth: Thank you for establishing something we could've easily guessed, author.

Quote:
"shit i mean sure" said phoenix and he ran to the pay phone and dilled 911

"(dammit what am i gonna tell them i cant report them but if i dot people will tink im guilty)" thought phoenix


Edgeworth: Guilty? Of what?

Godot: We're all guilty of many things... some more than others. Sip.

Quote:
"hello" said phone


Godot: Hello, Phone. You seeing anyone these days?

Quote:
"hi i am phoenix wright and um can i have a pizza delivered to my house" said pheonix


Gumshoe: Hey, pal, you can't be wasting the operator's time!

Edgeworth: Surely there's a better number for ordering a pizza?

Quote:
"sure whats your adress" said phone


All: ...

Godot: It seems 911 deal with emergencies of many kinds.

Quote:
"wright and co law offices japanifornia street" said phoenix


Phoenix: That's not the name of my street!

Quote:
"ok well deliver it soon" said phone and it went silent

"I DID IT EVERYONE I CALLED THE POLICE PLEASE CAM DOWN" shout nick and everyone sighed with releif knowing the criminas would finally face justice


Gumshoe: But we won't... we'll get pizza.

Godot: We've made out escape... for now.
Quote:
"ok now what OH CRAP I NEED TO IVESTIGATION!" shouted phoenix and he ran to the detenth center for detenth time this year. a goat was there.


Phoenix: Did the author just make two intentional spelling errors?

Edgeworth: The author has made many intentional spelling errors. This is nothing special.

Quote:
"bah" said goat

"hi goat im phoenix wright ace attorey" said pheonix

"bah"

"want me to defed you in court"

"bah"

"ok but first i must investigate"


Phoenix: Quality conversation we have here.

Quote:
so phoneix went to the crime scene to look for evidence.

"hey you" said a guy in a red cap

"wat"

"im the witness"

"oh ok"


Edgeworth: ....Is that it?

Phoenix: Yeah. No need to ask him what he saw!

Quote:
phoenix went back to investigating and found a bloody knife with some guys fingerprints.

"awesome now i can prove goat innocent." said phonex so he ran to the court room


Gumshoe: But pal, it didn't say whose prints it belonged to.

Edgeworth: Heh... I see where this is going.

Phoenix: Except it's a fic, it's not going to go your way at all.

Quote:
"YOUR HONOR IM HERE!" screamed phoeix

"oh ok court is in session for goat trial" said udgey

"prosecution ready gamps but phoenix isnt" said godot and he threw coffee at both of them


Phoenix: Why?

Godot: So you can TASTE IT, that's why! (Throws coffee at Phoenix)

Phoenix: (Dodges)

Godot: ...hmph. That was your only chance.

Quote:
"(DAMIT I SHOULD HAV ARRESTED HIM!)" thought phoenix but he didnt think long because his face was burning


Edgeworth: And who, pray tell, gave you the power to arrest people, Wright?

Phoenix: I think it means I should have reported him.

Quote:
"OW OW OW PLEASE OW MAKE OW YOUR OW OWPENING OW STATEMENT OW OW OW OW OW" roar udgey

"fine grandad" said godot "the goat murdered the guy and i have a witness to prove it."


Edgeworth: Very... dramatic, Your Honor.

Quote:
so godot called detective gumshoe to the stand

"hey pals im detective gumshoe"

"TESTIFY YOU SON OF A BITCH!" shouted godot and he threw his coffee at him


Gumshoe: Hey, pal, no need to hold a grudge!

Quote:
"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOW" screamed gumshoe and he RIPPED THE COFFE OF HIS FACE "DIE BITCH!" and gumshoe RAN AT GODOT BUT GODOT BLOCKED HIM WITH HIS MASK


Gumshoe: Woah!

Phoenix: ...WHY are they brawling in the middle of a trial?

Quote:
"TESTIFY NOW!" roared godot

"shit okok!" said gumshoe


Edgeworth: He gave up rather easily.

Godot: Don't underestimate the power of my mask, Detective.

Quote:
WITNESS TESTIMONY

the facts

"ok pal the goat murdered someone with the knife"

"OBJECTION!" shouted phoenix and he presented the knife


Edgeworth: It seems I was right.

Quote:
"wat" said godot smircing

"look godot the knife has fighterprints GOATS DONT HAVE FINGERPRINTS THEY HAVE HOOFPRINTS!" shouted godot

"oh no what does this mean" said godot grabbing coffee


Phoenix: Well, this case should be wrapping up soo- Godot doesn't seem very shocked.

Edgeworth: I have a VERY bad feeling about this...

Quote:
"it means MY CLINT IS INNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OOWWWWWWW!" screamed phoenix as he was hit by more coffee


Phoenix: Was there really a need to shout it like that?

Quote:
"trite your PATHETIC cant you use common sense?" shouted god


Phoenix&Edgey: But...

Godot: I see I've been promoted to a god.

Edgeworth: Yes, we see that, that's not exactly what's important here.

Quote:
"wat

"when the coat commited the murder


Phoenix: The coat? Admitting defeat already?

Edgeworth: Stop stalling! I want to get whatever lies ahead over with!

Phoenix: Right right.... it can't be THAT ba-

Quote:
HE WAS A HUMAN!"


Gumshoe: He....

Edgeworth: Was...

Phoenix: A....

Godot: PHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOMAN?!?!

Edgeworth: Are we REALLY accepting... magic as evidence?!

Phoenix: How is THIS supposed to be "common sense"?

Quote:
"WHAAAAAAAAAA (NOOO! MY CONTRADICTION!)" screamed phoenix


Edgeworth: "Objection! That's absurd!"

Phoenix: Objection! That would make sense!

Quote:
"stupid trite the prosecution calls its witness to the stand.

the guy in the red cap came.

"name and occupation" said godot

"muddy fukter" said muddy


All: ....

Gumshoe: That-

Edgeworth: Silence.

Quote:
"good now you saw the crime tell us what happend"

WITESS TESTIMONY

BLACK MAGIC!


Phoenix: Sounds about right.

Quote:
"i saw the man kill the guy. he then ran from the seen of the crime but i gave chase. suddenly a great light flashed and he was a toad!"


Gumshoe: He's a toad now?

Quote:
"HOLD IT!" shouted phoenix "wtf"

"ikr" said gumshoe "but it happened ill tell ya that."


Gumshoe: Oh hey! I'm back!

Quote:
"where were you when this happened"

"i was on japanifornia street"


Phoenix: ......seriously?

Edgeworth: That was what the author called the street in which your office is situated, yes? Why was he running down there?

Gumshoe: Maybe he wanted Mr Wright to defend him?

Phoenix: Or maybe he had a room in the Gatewater Hotel?

Quote:
"OBECTION!" shouted phoenix "THIS IS MY SECURITY CAMRA!"

"so" said godot

"look i can see you chasing the man and TAKE THAT! LOOK! THAT BRIGHT LIGHT WAS MY CAR!"


Phoenix: Except I don't have a car.

Quote:
"what does it evn matter" said guy

"what matters is LOOK! RITEE THERE! THE MAN IS STILL A MAN!


Edgeworth: Oh, good, this case isn't set in some alternate universe where magic is real.

Quote:
"OBJECTION!" shouted godot "LOLOL! then whered the goat come from trite"

"SHIIIIT!" screamed phoenix

"if you cant do that the you have no case."


Godot: He has a point, Trite. No evidence, no case. That's one of my rules.

Quote:
"(dammit where did it come from OH WAIT I KNOW)" thought phoenix "OBJECTION! I KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM!"

"no you dont trite stop fluffing." said dotty


Gumshoe: It's so fluffy!

Godot: ...Dotty?

Quote:
"yes i do theres only one place where itcouldve come from and that is from INSIDE MY CAR!"


Edgeworth: And it's descended back into madness. Lovely.

Quote:
"PHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!" spat godot

"WAT BUT WHAT ABOUT THE RELE BACK MAGIC?!" screamed guy

"dats not real dumbass jesus christ am i the only one with my head on today" said phoenix


Phoenix: No. Because you don't have your head on today.

Quote:
"but phoenix why was there a goat in your car" said udgey


Phoenix: Excellent question! WHY?

Quote:
"thats simple your honor TAKE THAT!" said phoenix and he presented the receipt. "the goat was in my car because MAYA BOUGHT ONE THAT MORNING!"


Phoenix: Maya bought it, or I bought it?

Gumshoe: Well, it WASin your car, pal.

Quote:
"i was wonderig where it went!" said maya

"DAMMIT!" shotued godot "but wait who was the killer"

suddenly the doorbell rang"


Godot: And when did the courtroom install doorbells, again?

Quote:
"who is it" said udgey and the pizza guy came in


Edgeworth: Wh-

Quote:
"pizza senior right orderd pizza!" said the pizza guy with a fake italian accent.


Edgeworth: WHAT?!

Gumshoe:Oh hey, the pizza's here!

Phoenix: We're... eating pizza... NOW?

Edgeworth: But... Wright ordered the pizza to be delivered at his office! WHY did they bring it here?

Gumshoe: Huh. Guess they got the wrong address.

Godot: Ha...! Well. Isn't this a nice distraction?

Quote:
"aww yeah pizza party!" said phoenix

the pizza man left the pizza on the witness stand and everyone grabbed a slice


Gumshoe: Does "Everyone" include me and the people in the gallery?

Edgeworth: How much pizza did you order?!

Quote:
"damn thats good" said godot "I MEAN coffees better" he sipped coffee


Godot: Hm. Well, it seems the author knows me well.

Edgeworth: (Did you, perhaps, forget about the start of the fic, Mr Godot?)

Quote:
"mmmmm ok hey uh mr wright who was the killer again"

"well senior i shall be leavig" said pizza guy and he went to leave


Phoenix: Okaaayyyy.... that was pointle-

Quote:
"HOLDIT!" shouted phoenix "not so fast pizza man or should i say THE REAL KILLER?!"


Phoenix: ....what.

Edgeworth: You've accused people at random in the past, Wright, but THIS is taking it too far!

Godot: Ha...! This should be entertaining. I doubt you have a shred of evidence against him, Trite.

Quote:
"WAS?!" shouted pizza man

"thats wright you tryed to hide by not getting involved but NOW I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT YOUR THE KILLER!"

"WAS THATS IMPOSIBLE"


Gumshoe: Hey, um, I really don't understand what's going on.

Edgeworth: Basically, Detective, Wright has gone insane and thinks he's just got a new piece of evidence.

Quote:
"yes i do TAKE THAT!" phoenix presented the pizza box


Phoenix: What is THAT going to do?

Quote:
"wat is that shit" said godot

"look the guy wasnt wearing fingerprint protection which means HIS PINTS ARE ON THE BOX!"


Godot: "Fingerprint protection..."

Gumshoe: They're called "gloves," right?

Quote:
"PHOOO!" godot spat

"come on godot compare them to the prints on the knife"

"noooooo THEY MATCH!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO FICK YOU PHEONIX!" shouted pizza guy


Phoenix: How did I know they were going to match if they hadn't been compared yet? I could've gotten a REALLY big penalty for that!

Quote:
"well that was fucking wierd" said udgey


All: Agreed.

Quote:
"but this court finds the defendant goat NOT GUILTY!"

AFTER THE TRIAL

"bah" said godot

"i knew you were innocent" said phoenix and he patted the goat on its head. "time to go home" and the goat was finally free to roam the felds once more.


Edgeworth: Yet, as I recall, Maya had bought the goat, meaning it's home should be-

Phoenix: Shh! It's the moment you've been waiting for!

Quote:
THE END


Edgeworth: Finally!


(The lights turn on, and the screen fades to black)

Edgeworth: Now then, I have work to do.

(Edgeworth stands up and leaves the theatre.)

Gumshoe: Alright, pal, let's go.

Godot: One moment, Detective. *Glugglugglugglugglugglugglugglugglugglug*

Phoenix: I... think leave him to you. (Runs out into the precious fresh air)

(After Godot finishes his 17th cup of coffee, he and Gumshoe leave the theatre once more, and the theatre is reduced to silence once again.)
Image Image Image Image


Last edited by Ana R. on Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDecisive Witness Thu Mar 17, 2016 6:43 pm
User avatar
Viktoria von Karma

Beware of the Dog

Gender: Female

Location: Wherever there's still hope left.

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2015 7:23 pm

Posts: 250

God, that was funny. There's one thing I'm still wondering about, though: Is that pizza guy intended to be German? Because he said "was" instead of "what" twice and also "fick" when it should be "fuck". Of course, those could also be some nonsensical typos, especially the latter, but still...
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Sat Mar 19, 2016 6:10 pm
User avatar
Polly

Hello! Hello! *squawk*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2015 3:38 am

Posts: 67

Great sporking Arrowlawn, that was hilarious.

I've lost track of all the fics that have been posted here that are still available for sporking and which ones are or aren't claimed, but here are some more I found:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11803903/1/Turnabout-Dick
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11844014/1 ... olde-tokyo
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Thu Mar 24, 2016 12:09 am
User avatar
Ana R.

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:21 pm

Posts: 118

Just in case anyone was wanting to take a DGS fic...
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11856329/1 ... ut-gregson
Same guy as the last 30 or so badfics. :yogi:
EDIT: HE'S BACK!
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11792637/2 ... k-attorney
Image Image Image Image
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Sat Mar 26, 2016 6:40 pm
User avatar
Ana R.

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:21 pm

Posts: 118

Title: phoenix wright dank attorney
Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: Weed. 'Nuff said.
Author: Lord Jakkid166.
Original Fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11792637/1 ... k-attorney

And now to meet the sporkers for today!

:nick-sweat: So I heard this one has weed...

:maya: I've never tried that. Should I...?

:edgeworth: No, you should not.

:maya: You're no fun.

(The sporkers enter the theater once again!)

Speakers: Hello, everyone! SO sorry you haven't been here much recently!

Edgeworth: Oh, no, I can assure you, it is no trouble at all!

Phoenix: Can we go home now?

Speakers: NOPE! You still have to read a quality fanfiction of your favorite author!

Maya: Barrylawn?

Speakers: You have horrible tastes. Especially considering you weren't here for Turnabout Goat.

Edgeworth: That was just as much of a disaster as Trilo x Hotti!

Speakers: Yeah, yeah, take your seats sporkers.

Spoiler: Turnabout Dank
Quote:
turnabout dank

by jakkid166


Phoenix: THIS GUY is supposed to be our favorite author?!

Speakers: Yes. If you hate him, you are wrong.

Edgeworth: Well, I suppose we're all wrong, then.

Maya: Wait, look! The name's changed to "turnabout dank!" How'd that happen?

Edgeworth: Ignorance and foolishness.

Quote:
phoenix wright was laying in his bed cause he dident want to do anythin today

"MAAAAN im feelin so lazy today" saaid wright


Maya: No wonder we're always struggling to pay the rent!

Quote:
BUT THEN HIS PHONE RUNG

"GODAMIT" said phoenix "WHY DO I ALWAYS GET CLIENTS WHEN I DONT WANT ANY DAM CLIENTS FUCKIN SHIT I DONT WANNA DO SHIT I JUS WANNA PLAY ACE ATTORNEY ON THE NIMTENDO DS"


Edgeworth: Well, there goes the fourth wall already.

Phoenix: Well, there goes my character already.

Quote:
phoenix opened the phone nand answered it

"WHATH THE FUCK DO YOU WANT"

"wright dont fucking swear at me"


Edgeworth: Is that how all your phone conversations start off, Wright?

Phoenix: Of course not! And hey, this is just because I don't want to work!

Edgeworth: That's no excuse for your unprofessionalism. I feel you deserve a salary cut.

Phoenix: Hey, you can't-

Boom!

Phoenix: I'll take that penalty, thanks.

Quote:
"OH EDGWROTH" said wright "wait ghost can use phones?"

"YES" said edgworth "BUT THAT SNOT THE POINT"


Edgeworth: I'm a ghost in this?!

Maya: Oh! That was brought up in Turnabout Pearl, right?

Speakers: Indeed. It seems there is a delay in the preparations for Turnabout Egg...

Edgeworth: I assume that's when I died in this... "series"?

Phoenix: I wonder how he died...?

Speakers: Uhmm..... he.... on with the fic!

Quote:
"wat then"

"MAYAS DOIN SOMETHING AND U GOTTA STOP HER"

"what she doin"

"I CANT TELL YOU U GOTTA SEE FOR YOURSELF"


Phoenix: Well, if you're not gonna tell me I guess it's not important. Bye.

Quote:
"what if i dont wanna"

"BITCH GIT DA FUK OVER HERE BEFOR I HAUNT YO ASS"

"ok dont be black ill go see"


Maya: Woah! Racist, Jakkid!

Quote:
wrighte hung up the phone and ran all the way to maya house

edgeworth ghost was ther BUT THAT WASENT THE MOST THING


Edgeworth: The most what? The most unexpected?

Quote:
maya was there too and she was SMOKIN WEEEEEEEEEEED


Maya: What?! Oh come on! I wouldn't do that!

Edgeworth: You were considering it when you heard what this fic was about.

Maya: That wasn't canon!

Phoenix: Considering Edgeworth's a ghost, I think Edgeworth being there would be the "most thing."

Quote:
"WTF MAYA THATS ILLEGAL"

"YEAH" said edgehost


Edgeworth: Again with the "Edgeghost" nickname. Author, please stop using it in the Third Person view.

Phoenix: He's not going to listen.

Edgeworth: That aside, the possession of weed is not necessarily illegal around here, depending on how much the person has.

Maya: Oh! So I might be fine!

Edgeworth: You... probably should be, but you're probably not going to be.

Quote:
"no its not" said maya "its like 2019 itd be legaL by now"

"oh ok" said wright nd he smoked weed too


Edgeworth: I... can't argue with that, for some reason.

Phoenix: Yeah! It almost feels like Donald Trump hasn't been elected yet.

Quote:
"WTF" said edgewort "u fUCKIN IDIOT"

"shut up methworth" say wright and he blowed smoke in his face "to bad you cant smoke it since ur a ghost"


Edgeworth: M-Methworth?

Quote:
"I DONT WANT TO SMOKE IT"

"420 blaze it yo"


Maya: Woah, Nick, stop the peer pressure!

Phoenix: I thought we just established that he can't smoke it.

Quote:
"AAAAAAGH" an edgeworth left

"lol so pots legal now?' sad wright

"no" said maya

"WHAT"


Maya: Well....

Phoenix: We're in trouble.

Quote:
AND THEN POLICE SUDENLY BURST IN

"PUT YOUR HAND UP" said the police

"O SHIT NO I DONT WANNA JAIL" said wright "ILL GET BUTT DICKED"


Phoenix: I'll get WHAT?!

Edgeworth: How did the police even know what you two were doing?

Maya: Maybe Edgeghost called them?

Edgeworth: Miss Fey, you will kindly not use that unoriginal nickname.

Maya: What else should I call him?

Phoenix: "Edgeworth."

Quote:
"TOO BAD" said police and wright n maya got arested

"SHIT SON" said wright in jail "U GOT ME ARRESTED"

"lol its okay you can defedn us" sad maya


Phoenix: Is that REALLY a good idea?

Quote:
"BUT THEY GOT ALLLLLL THE EVIDENC WITH OUR FINGERPRITNS ON IT"

"OMG STOP YELING LIKE HALF THE STORY TEXT IS CAPS"


All: ....

Phoenix: He acknowledged it.

Edgeworth: Alternatively, he could just write "shouted x" instead of type everything in capital letters.

Quote:
"ok fine we jus gotta think bout this for a minit"

but then edgewort walked in

"i told u idiots its ilegal"


Edgeworth: At least he's not calling me "Edgeghost" any more.

Quote:
"well its not my fualt donalt trump is president now"

"dident you vote for him" say maya

"only caus i lost a bet"


Phoenix: Seriously? He's seriously bringing Trump into this?

Quote:
"yea well im gona prosecute you both" say edgeworth

"WHAT" said wright "BUT I LIKE save the world and stuff like two days ago"


Phoenix: Sorry. WHAT?

Speakers: Ah, yes. Turnabout Portal. Truly, a modern classic to remember for all eternity.

Edgeworth: I assume this is another one of dear Jakkid's works?

Speakers: Ohhh yes.

Quote:
"OJBECTION" saiud edgeworth an he pointed his finger "THAT DONT MAKE YOU EXEPTION, TO THE LAAAAAW"

"CMON edge i dident know it was illegal you gotta let me out"

"nope" and he left


Phoenix: Yeah, come on, Edgeworth, help us break out of prison!

Maya: He's a ghost, they can't punish him if he does.

Edgeworth: Considering ghosts are capable of so little in this world - as opposed to nothing in ours - I doubt there's much I could do.

Quote:
"wow tat fucking ass" said wright "ok maya do you got a twinkie"

"no"

"FUCK WERE DOOOOOOOMED"


Phoenix: Sheesh. Dramatic.

Quote:
then a police guy walk up to the cell door

"its time for yo trial" sai police man

"ok" said wright


Edgeworth: That was... fast.

Quote:
_TRIAL_

"trial is in session" sayed judge

"the defense is ready yo honor" say phoenix

"the porsecution is ready your honor" said manfred von karma


Phoenix: Oh look, my mirror image is back.

Maya: I thought he was found guilty of kidnapping Pearly?

Speakers: Believe us, this man has been VERY busy since then.

Quote:
"WAT" said wright "THE FUCK, YOU CAN PROSECTUTE WHILE GHOST?"


Edgeworth: Wait...

Phoenix: Now von Karma's a ghost, too?

Maya: Maybe he died in prison?

Speakers: Nope! Way off!

Edgeworth: A-Anyway. It should come as no surprise to Wright that ghosts can prosecute considering I was the prosecutor in Turnabout Pearl.

Phoenix: Ah... feels nice to have context for once.

Speakers: I'm sorry, but we're waiting for Turnabout Egg to be ready! Nice of you to show enthusiasm for this, though!

Phoenix: OBJECTION! I didn't mean that!

Quote:
"obvisously, also judge"

"wat" said judge

"id like to change the charges"

"realy? to what"

"TO MURDER"


Phoenix: You can't just change the charges out of the blue like that!

Edgeworth: Especially not to something completely unrelated.

Maya: Well, you never know! Maybe it is related!

Quote:
"GASP" gasped the courtroom

TOOOOO BE CONTINUUUUUUUUUUDE


Phoenix: Finally!

Edgeworth: The lights aren't turning on...

Speakers: NOT SO FAST, Phoenix Wright! You still have Chapter 2 to spork!

Maya: Oh, come ON!

Spoiler: Chapter 2
Quote:
turnabout dank

chapter 2

by jakkid166


Edgeworth: Yes, author, nice of you to remind us.

Quote:
"WTF" said wrights "HOW IS MURDER"

"cause" say karmas "ur weed smokin KILL AN INNOCENT PERSON"


Phoenix: Like he's any better.

Speakers: Especially in this universe!

Quote:
"who" said wright

"a girl named" "PEARL FEY"


Maya: WHAT?! PEARLY?!

Edgeworth: Why is that split into two separate quotes? Was there meant to be "said von Karma" in there.

Phoenix: Nah. The spelling was too good.

Maya: Are you two deliberately ignoring the important part here?

Quote:
"GAAAAAAAAASP" said mya "PEARLS DEAD? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO"


Phoenix: Grammar dead? NOOOOO!

Edgeworth: It's been dead since this author started writing.

Quote:
"yes"

"BUT HOW" sai maya

"cause she overdoesed on weed" sayed karma


Phoenix: And how is that our fault? We're not even her legal guardians. What was she even doing at Maya's house?

Quote:
"NOOOOOOOOO" said wright

"YEEEEEEEES" say karma

"ok guys lets calm da fuk down" say phoenix "maya if we wil avenge pearl we gotta FIND THE TRU KILLER"


Phoenix: Which is possibly herself.

Quote:
"ok" said maya

"now then" said judge "you may giv your opening statements"

"ok shit man" sayed karms


Maya: Language, Karms!

Phoenix: (... that sounds kind of familiar...)

Quote:
"maya fey and phoenix fey were smokin weed in the maya house, they got arrested nd then pearl came into tha room and smoked some weed and die"

"i see' said judge

"ALSO wes our evidence" said karma and he presented a bong and a lightere and a bag of weed

"wow is dat sour deisel" said judge

"NO ITS LEMON HAZE U OLD FUCK" said maya


Phoenix: Keep speaking out of turn like that, Maya. And keep insulting the judge, too. You're really helping our case.

Quote:
"ok you may call withess to the stand prosecution"

"i call detectiv to the stand"

a guy in suit came on the stand


Phoenix: Gumshoe?

Edgeworth: The man is wearing a suit, Wright. Detective Gumshoe wears a scruffy trenchcoat.

Maya: He has a tie.

Edgeworth: Wearing a tie does not make a suit. For instance, look at Wright.

Phoenix: Hey! My suit's great!

Quote:
"NAME AND OCCUPATION"

"im detective jakkid166" said me


All: ........

Maya: Is the author seriously writing himself into his own fic?

Quote:
"ok testify"

"ok"

"i was at the scen to have maya and phoenixs arrested for the weed smokes"

"but then afrter they waS arrested PEARL CAME IN AND SMOKED THE BONG N DIED"


Phoenix: So this happened after we were arrested... how could we be responsible then?

Quote:
"OBJECTION" said phoenic "YOU CANT DIE FROM SMOKIN GWEED"

"PROVE IT" said karma

so phoenic pulld out his laptop and did google search for weed health effects and show it to the court


Phoenix: How did I get my laptop passed the police?

Quote:
"YOU SEE, IT S IMPOSSIBLE TO OVERDOSE ON THE WEED"

"aha not so fasty wasty" said karmy warmy


Phoenix: "Fasty wasty?"

Edgeworth: "Karmy warmy?"

Maya: It's almost like he's a child.

Quote:
"wat"

"dis weed had somethin else in it" say karma


Phoenix: Of course it did.

Edgeworth: Are we seriously bringing prohibited substances into this?

Quote:
"WAT" say phoenix "WHERE T FUCK YOU GET THAT WEED FRUM MAYA"

"idk some bald guy with beard"


Edgeworth: I wonder who that could possibly be?

Quote:
"regardess ITS UR WEED SO UR RESPONSIBLEEEE" sayed godot


Phoenix: What's Godot doing here?

Quote:
"NOOOOOOOO" say pheonix "wait"

the courtroom waited


Edgeworth: Oh good. But was that really necessary to specify?

Quote:
"PEARL IS FUCKING 8 YEAR, HOW CAN SHE KNOW HOW TO SMOKE WEED"

"from watching u do it"

"SHE STILL NOT STRONK ENOUGH TO USE A LIGHTER"


Maya: Of course she is!

Quote:
"WELL LETS GET HER INTO THE COURT TO TEST THAT" said karma


Edgeworth: And how are we supposed to pull that off?

Quote:
"OK" said phoenix

"I CALL PERL FEY" to the stand


Phoenix: I'm actually calling her to the stand.

Maya: Well, maybe I'm going to channel her?

Quote:
pearl went on the stand "hi mr nick"

"hi pearl" say phoenix and he throw a lighter at er "try to use dis"


Edgeworth: W-WHAT?!

Phoenix: Um... I think he forgot to mention that Maya was chanelling her.

Edgeworth: Well, isn't THAT a big oversight?

Quote:
"ok" said pearl but she wasent strong enough

"NOOOOOOO" sai karma "BUT WITNESS, YOU SAID SHE WERE USE THE GHLIGHTER"


Maya: Wow, Pearly is WEAK in this universe.

Edgeworth: Or she's pretending she can't use it to defend you two. She apparetly doesn't realize all she has to do is say "I'm alive!"

Quote:
"i lied" said me the detective jakkid166 who is in this story


Edgeworth: Yes, yes, thank you for reminding us.

Maya: I think we'd remember such an amazing OC like him.

Phoenix: He's giving up very easily.

Quote:
"BUT WYYYY"

"BECAUS IM THE REAL KILLUR" said me AND I RIPPED MY CLOTHS OFF


Phoenix: He's REALLY giving up very eas- WOAH don't do that!

Maya: AGH! LOOK AWAY MR EDGEWORTH!

Edgeworth: How mature.

Quote:
"dam dats a big gong" said mayas

"tank you" said me caus i was in china clothes now and i was holdin a gong and i gonged the gong


Phoenix: Oh good, there's something underneath.

Maya: "...and the the gong was gone?"

Quote:
"BUT HOW AR YOU KILLER" said karma

"BECAUS SHE DIDENT DIE" said me


Edgeworth: So you're not the killer.

Phoenix: Wait, what?

Quote:
"WTF REALLY?" said phoenicsx "wait she was jus on the stand wasent she? FUCK IM STUPID"

"SHIT HOW DIDENT I NOTICE THAT" said jhudge and karma


All: ......

Boom!

Phoenix: Nyaaagh! Why am I getting penalties now?

Edgeworth: They didn't notice?! They didn't notice the victim was testifying?!

Quote:
"well if pearls not ded then i gues i pronounce the wright not guilt-"

"NOT SO FAS" said me "THATS CAUS PEARL ISENT THE KILLER"


Phoenix: Woah! She didn't kill herself?!

Maya: Plot twist!

Quote:
"WAT" said every1

"THE ACTUAL THING THIS TRIALE WERE FOR… WAS FOR THE MURDER OF MANFERD VON KARMA"


Phoenix: What happened to possessing weed?

Quote:
"AHAHHAA" said karma and he jumped off the proscution desk and landed in de witness stand "TANK YOU COUSIN for helpin me get prosecute for wright and mayo, now i can hav my REVENG"


Maya: Von Karma and Jakkid are cousins?!

Quote:
"OOHOHOHOHOOO SHIEIEIIT" said maya and phoenix

TO BE CONFITUUUUUED


Maya: Yes! Finally!

Phoenix: Don't get so excited, Maya, we still got more.

Speakers: Actually, you're done.

Phoenix: Oh! Really? Nice!


Speakers: Mainly because Jakkid has yet to upload the rest of this exciting adventure.

Phoenix: Wait... he's inactive?! (Yes!!)

Speakers: Nope! That last chapter was just uploaded yesterday.

Phoenix: ....Oh. (That'd be too good to be true...)

(The sporkers leave the theatre, to return some other time for another chapter of Turnabout Dank. Or wasn't it Dank Attorney? Meh. Whatever. The lights fade, and the theatre is left in silence once again.)
Image Image Image Image


Last edited by Ana R. on Wed Jul 17, 2019 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:57 pm
User avatar
Polly

Hello! Hello! *squawk*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2015 3:38 am

Posts: 67

Who's ready for jakkid166 2: electric boogaloo?
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11866182/1 ... t-portal-2

@arrowlawn
Another good sporking. jakkid also just posted chapter 3, just so you know.

As for turnabout egg, I thought somebody was already doing it last time I asked, but I don't remember. I'll do turnabout dick or one of barrylawn's dozens of fics unless nobody is doing turnabout egg.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:36 am
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Ana R.

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:21 pm

Posts: 118

Mmmm. That new fic looks... mediocre, actually. Then again, that's what I thought about Turnabout Portal when it's first chapter was released (The pony one, not Turnabout Cake), so it still has potential.

Anyway, I think WhatTheWhat was sporking it... maybe. But I don't remember seeing him since then, and I'm occupied with Turnabout Dank (which I'll get around to at some point), so go ahead and take it.

That aside, the author of Damon Gant Escaps From Prisooooooon has been spotted online!
https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11792637/
I mean, it's not exactly proof that another chapter is in the works, but... brace yourselves. :viola:
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:55 pm
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Ana R.

Gender: Female

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:21 pm

Posts: 118

Alright, let's spork the last chapter of Turnabout Dank. Then maybe I'll do an old, unfinished sporking, or something. Eventually.

Title: "Dankabout Turn" Chapter 3
Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: Different name, same rating.
Author: Jakkid166

Let's reintroduce the sporkers!

:nick: Great. More of the weed adventure.

:maya: I heard this is the last chapter!

:edgeworth: It better be, this fanfiction is simply awful.


(The sporkers enter the theatre for the final time. Just kidding, this'll never end.)

Edgeworth: SOME day, the police will catch you, Management! Then this madness WILL end!

Speakers: Haha, no. We're above the law, Mr Edgeworth. Besides, not like we've done anything too illegal, y'know?

Phoenix: You sent a man to the bottom of the Mariana Trench!

Speakers: How, teleportation? Bahaha! Now then, I assume you've all read up on Turnabout Portal?

Edgeworth: I can't undestand why you wanted us to, but yes, we have.

Maya: It was really funny!

Edgeworth: No, it was not!

Speakers: Excellent! Now, take your seats, gentlemen and... Maya.

Maya: What? Aren't I a "lady," Management?

(The lights dim.)

Spoiler: Chapter 3
Quote:
dankabout turn

chapter 3

by jakkid166


Phoenix: Something's different here.

Maya: "Dankabout Turn?" I thought we were reading Turnabout Dank.

Edgeworth: If we're lucky, this will actually be a completely different fic to the one from the other day.

Phoenix: Nope. Look, it's by the same author.

Edgeworth: ...Sigh.

Quote:
mr wright and vo karma wre at a standoff they was staring at each other in the eyes super intently and it was real awkward so judge was like "CUT DAT SHIT OUT AND DO THE THINGo wait wat were we doing again?"


Edgeworth: We were doing a trial, Your Honor. Though I can't say for sure what Wright and von Karma were doing.

Maya: Looks like they were having a showdown... but... gave up?

Quote:
"ok" say karma and he went back to the prostecution bench

"now as u can see, i am dead"

"OBJECTIONE" said wright "HOW DO WE KNOW UR ALIVE AND JUST A HOLOGRAM?"


Edgeworth: Because that would be ridiculous. Also, where is the projector?

Phoenix: We've seen stranger in these fics, Edgeworth.

Quote:
"fuck off and let me do my testimony" said karma "anywaye i was in the fruitmart with wright and he shot me in the face and impersonated me"


Phoenix: ...So that's why we read Turnabout Portal.

Maya: Well this is gonna be hard. Since, y'know, you actually did it.

Phoenix: I could plead self-defense.

Edgeworth: I assume we've all completely forgotten about the initial plot of this fic?

Quote:
"HMM" said wright "i think he might be lyin"


Edgeworth: He's concealing information, but he's not exactly lying here.

Phoenix: Well, maybe I didn't shoot him in the face?

Edgeworth: That won't help you at all.

Phoenix: You never know. Maybe he was shot in the back of the head and I'm innocent.

Edgeworth: And WHO could possibly have been the true culprit?

Phoenix: Mario? Luigi? They were nowhere to be seen in that chapter.

Quote:
"yea maybe" said maya "can we prove it tho"

"we'll see"

karma presented evidence, the gun and his wig

"as u can see, this wig has danduff from mr wrights head that was confirmed with DNA tests proving he imported me"


Phoenix: Wait, where did I even get that wig?

Maya: Maybe you got it at the shop?

Phoenix: It's a fruit shop!

Quote:
"and also the gun have his fingoprints on it"

wright snorted "hey karma can i see dat gun for a second"

"ok" said karma and he threw tha gun to wright

"thanks" and he duked under the defense stand nd wiped the fingerprints off the gun


Phoenix: Objection! I'm tampering with the evidence here!

Edgeworth: Yet it seems nobody even notices.

Quote:
wrightgot bac up again "ok heres tha gun back karma"

"thanks bro" said karma and he put tha gun back itno the court record


Maya: Wow, he seriously didn't notice?

Quote:
"ok so if we done here we can do the witness" said judge

"right" sayed karma "i call satan to tha stand"


Phoenix: Why Satan, of all people? And why is the court okay with this?

Quote:
satan went on the stand "HEB GHBDHBSAAS I SATAN"

"wtf" said wright


Phoenix: My thoughts exactly.

Quote:
"name and occupatione" said karma

"satan and satan" said satan


Maya: He's not wrong.

Quote:
"ok testify abot how you killed me"

"kk"

"i was at the frutmart picking up milk for jesus"


Edgeworth: Well there's an obvious contradiction. As I recall, they had drained his powers and left him in the sand.

Phoenix: Maybe he was getting poisoned milk?

Quote:
"but then i saw karmer and phoenix arguin in the fruit section"

"phoenixes pulled out a gun and shot karma in ther face and stole his hair off"


Phoenix: But the crime happened in the back room!

Maya: He used von Karma's actual hair? Ew!

Quote:
"OBJECTION" said wright "FRUITMART SELL FRUIT, NOT MILK"

"we make expansion said karma grining "we now sell fruite AND milk"


Edgeworth: We point out two valid contradictions, and that is all fic!Wright can think of?

Quote:
"why jus milk?" ask phoenix

"for smoothis you dumb fuck think with your brain you nose ringed noodle slurper"

"only thing i slurp is ur moms pussy" said phoenix


Maya: Woah, guys!

Phoenix: Don't we look SO professional right now?

Edgeworth: Making inappropriate jokes in court, Wright? For shame!

Quote:
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" said the cortroom

"OH SNAP" say judge "SUm1 JUST GOT BUUUUURUNED"


Maya: No he didn't, that was so weak!

Quote:
"my moms dead u necrophiliac crapstick" say karma


Maya: Woah, burn!!!

Quote:
"anyway ur contradiction sucks so go fuck a duick and keep crose examining pls"

"fine" wright "OBJECTION"

"wtf" satan said "is it now"


Edgeworth: Another minor contradiction that doesn't mean anything, I assume.

Quote:
"you say i fire the gun" BUT I DONT HAVE FINGERPRINTS"


Phoenix: So, I'm Bowser now?

Quote:
PROVE IT SAID KARMA

phoenxi presented the gun "this HAS NO PRINTS ON IT, I COULDNT HAVE FIRED IT"


Edgeworth: And this is where the court finally realizes what Wright has done and he gets punished?

Phoenix: At this point, I hope so.

Quote:
hahahahHAHAHAHAshasghahsah" said karma AND HE WENT OVER TO phoenix and whispered in his ear

"i meant 4 u to wipe off theprints off the gun cause im a ghost so i cant wipe stuff off but you can and now my fingereprints are off of it GET FUCKIN OWNED U LITTLE SHIT"


Maya: Wow! That makes sense!

Phoenix: No it doesn't! He didn't even touch my gun!

Quote:
karma jumped on tha witness stand and danced to we will rock u by queen its a good song you shud listen to it in this next part of the story


Maya: Wow, von Karma's got some moves!

Edgeworth: WH-WHUH?!

Phoenix: What?

Edgeworth: Did he just ref... I... it's nothing.

Phoenix: (Now that he mentions it, that line does seem very familiar...)

Quote:
"i got no idea wat the fuck just happened" say judge

wright was stunnd, how could karma have best him? he was anger

"KARMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" said wrighto and he threw tha gun at karma and it bounce off the wall and it fired and it hit the guy in the head


Phoenix: What guy?

Maya: Detective Jakkid?

Phoenix: You wish.

Edgeworth: How did the gun even fire like that?

Quote:
"O SHIT THE GUYS DEAD" say phoenix

"NOOOO NOT THE GUY" said judge "WHICH ONE U MUDDY FUKTERS DID THAT"


Maya: "Muddy Fukter?"

Phoenix: Okay, I've definitely heard that recently.

Edgeworth: So that's two horrid fanfictions the author has referenced.

Maya: I bet they have some secret society or something weird and geeky like that!

Quote:
"wasent me" said phoenix

"I SAW THA GUN COME OUT OF KARMA" sayed gumshoe "IT MUSTA BEENH IM"


Phoenix: Yet he didn't see it come out of my hand... conveniently.

Edgeworth: Surely ghosts cannot use guns?

Phoenix: They can use phones, can't they?

Maya: Well, they can't use weed.

Phoenix: Sheesh. Ghosts really are selective about what they can and can't do.

Quote:
and karma gthost got arrested


Phoenix: How? He's a ghost!

Maya: Maybe he's being sent to a ghost prison?

Edgeworth: No, it said at the end of Turnabout Portal that there is no such thing.

Quote:
as he was bein led away he said "lol u stupid fucks once im in prison ill just go thru the walls and escape"

but no1 cared


Edgeworth: I would care if there was an evil spirit roaming this city!

Phoenix: Technically he didn't... well, I suppose he DID do much more.

Quote:
"YESSSSS" sayed phoenixs "IM INNOCENT"

"not so fasty wasty" said miley wiley


Phoenix: That again?

Maya: Hey, Edgeghost's finally here!

Edgeworth: Don't tell me this is STILL going?

Quote:
"wtf" said wright anD HE SAW THAT MILES EDGEGHOST WAS THE PROSECUTER NOW

"ha u aint shit on me" said wright "im alredy inocent"

"nope you forget" said edgworth "YOU WAS CAUGHT WITH WEEEEED"


Phoenix: Well, THIS is dragging on.

Quote:
"o shit" said wright

"O SHIT" said maya "WE DONT HAVE A DEFEEEENSE"

"YEA WE DONT GOT NO EVIDEEEEEENSE"


Edgeworth: Exactly. Because you're guilty.

Quote:
"GUESS WE JUST GOTTA PROVE ARE INNOCEEEEEEENCE"

dey both sang "JUST GOTTA EXAMERNE THE WITNESS ON THE BEEEEEEENCH"


Phoenix: But we've already cross examined the detective and the victim... who else is there?

Maya: Well, there's whoever is on the bench. Which should be either Satan or Gumshoe, right?

Phoenix: I'd rather not cross examine Satan again. Even though he was surprisingly tame.

Quote:
"yea ok" said edgworth "anyway judge this gone on long enough, guilty now pls"

but judg shooked his head "dis shit is too much for my years" and he bang his gavel "ok guys weeds legal now so whatever" and he lit up a joint


All: ....

Edgeworth: Sigh... the judge does not have the power to just legalize weed like that.

Phoenix: Oh well. It works.

Quote:
"WAT THE FUCK" said edgeworth ghost

"lol" said phoneix and he took he weed stuff outta the court record "TIME TA GET SKYYYY YHIGH"

dey smo3kd d gud ku$4 lader


Edgeworth: Seriously, Wright?!

Phoenix: Sigh... I'm guessing I'm gonna be on weed for the rest of this guy's fanfics?

Maya: That's how it seems to work with this guy.

Quote:
THE END


Edgeworth: Ah, excellent!


Edgeworth: By which I mean "horrible!" What on earth was that?

Speakers: Now, hold on, sporkers, there's still a couple of things left for you to do.

Phoenix: And what's that?

Speakers: I'm sure you'll be delighted to hear that we're wiping your memories of this fic and Turnabout Portal!

Maya: Really?! That's great!

Speakers: And we are doing so... so that when we get to the official sporking of Turnabout Portal you don't remember any of it!

Edgeworth: Wh-WHAT?! That wasn't an official sp-

Speakers: Don't worry, though. We though we'd preserve your memories of this fic by giving you all a copy of it's summary!

(Three pieces of paper fall from the ceiling. The sporkers each get one.)

Quote:
phoenix wright gets hit by car and has to dEFEND THE MAN WHO HIT HIM WITH CAR, WILL HE DO IT


Phoenix: But... But this has NOTHING to do wit-

ZAP!
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Thu Mar 31, 2016 1:41 pm
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TheGreatSnarkoo

Too many thoughts and nothing to do~

Gender: None specified

Location: The Noponis

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Wed May 27, 2015 4:01 am

Posts: 34

Great work on the sporking, ArrowLawn!
Quote:
dey smo3kd d gud ku$4 lader

I swear I've heard that one before as well... wasn't that in the 420 Blazeit fic with Athena and Shelly de Killer? :yogi:
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good if I ever use Comic Sans, Arial, Times New Roman, Brush Script, Papyrus, Curlz, Ravie, et cetera."
Friends don't let friends use bad fonts.
Unironically, anyways.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Tue Apr 05, 2016 4:58 pm
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DrOcsid

On a road to nowhere.

Gender: None specified

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:19 pm

Posts: 51

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10876823/8 ... ISOOOOOOON

Well.

I did not expect this.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Tue Apr 05, 2016 10:02 pm
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Polly

Hello! Hello! *squawk*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2015 3:38 am

Posts: 67

Sorry guys, I don't think I'll be getting around to doing another sporking anytime soon. Anybody is free to spork any fic I'd expressed interest in doing. I'll still be here reading other sporkings though.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Sun Apr 10, 2016 7:38 am
User avatar
DrOcsid

On a road to nowhere.

Gender: None specified

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:19 pm

Posts: 51

Another day, another chapter in the epic saga of… whatever you’d call jakkid166’s series of fics.

phoenix wrighte CAKE attorney
by jakkid166

Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit:

Pretty standard for a jakkidfic, though this one seems to be a sort of prequel or prologue to the next one, turnabout portal.

And now, our sporkers!

Phoenix Wright!
:phoenix: “Well, we can probably figure how this is gonna go.”

Maya Fey!
:maya: “Are we gonna be served cake while sporking this?”

and lastly…
Dick Gumshoe!
:eh?: “Did someone say cake? Because I’d sure as heck like some!”

[The sporkers enter the theater.]

Management: No, we are not serving cake.

Maya: Aww… that’s a shame.

Gumshoe: I know, right? I could eat a horse right now! At least, if I could afford one.

Phoenix: ...Wait, are you saying you would literally eat a horse?

Management: Please, enough with the small talk. We’re on a short time schedule, so accordingly, we picked a short fanfiction for you today.

[The three sit down.]

Spoiler:
Quote:
phoenix wrighte CAKE attorney


Phoenix: Seriously? In the title? That’s a new brand of laziness.

Gumshoe: Maybe he’s italian.

Phoenix: What?

Quote:
Description:
phoenix wright get blow up SO DEFEND PEARLIO CAN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DO IT


Maya: ...Well, regardless of that, looks like the author had a few too many slices of cake before writing this description.

Gumshoe: Jeez, pal, you get blown up in this story? That would’ve been a nice twist if he didn’t spoil it so early.

Phoenix: …”Pearlio”?

Quote:
mr wright was in house cryin caus his cat was dead n he was all emo n his hair was black and his cloths were black and he was black

"NOOOOOO MY CAT" said wright and he cut his arm


Maya: Holy cow, Nick. You were so depressed that you changed races.

Gumshoe: Hey, I didn’t know you had a cat, pal!

Phoenix: I don’t. Which leads me to realize that this is a direct continuation of turnabout pearl…

Maya: Wait, these have continuity?

Quote:
write thought to about pearl making him get guilty and he got mad
"im so made at pearl" said wright


Maya: But he’s out of jail now! What’s the problem?

Gumshoe: Huh? What happened last time?

Phoenix: Well, Manfred von Karma framed me for kidnapping Pearl. Thankfully, I recorded a confession from him in prison and got my name cleared.

Gumshoe: Well, that looks like it was fixed pretty easily.

Phoenix: Yeah, hence why I’m confused that I’m still mad at her. She’s eight, for god’s sake!

Quote:
but then he got a pacage on the mail nd took it inside and open it
inside was cake nd a note that say "sory mr wright i got u guilty"


Phoenix: Aww, that’s so sweet of her! There’s no way I could stay mad at her after something like that.

Quote:
"aww" say wrighte and he take the cake out but it EXPLODE NOW in his face


Phoenix: ...Wait, what?

Gumshoe: So that’s how you got blown up. I was pretty curious how that was gonna happen!

Maya: Why are you so interested in Nick getting blown up?

Gumshoe: I like action movies.

Quote:
there was cake evrywhere and mr wright was knocked onto he couch
"WTF A FUCK" said wright but he fell unconsus


Phoenix: Right, who doesn’t have the strength to swear loudly after getting blown up?

Quote:
wright woke up in hospitale
"YOUR AWAKE" said maya


Phoenix: My awake? What about it?

Quote:
wright looke over at her and she was happy wright was alive because he got blown up


Gumshoe: Jeez, pal, could you spell it out any more obviously?

Phoenix: At least she visited me, unlike when I went to prison.

Maya: That was because ficMe thought you kidnapped Pearl!

Quote:
"WHAT HAPPEN TO ME" said wright
"well" say maya "pearl send you bomb cake"
"WAHT" said phoenix "BUT WHY"


Phoenix: And how? Has Pearl been reading pyrotechnics books lately?

Gumshoe: Heh, you’d be surprised the things kids read these days.

Maya: Well, it must have been pretty badly made to not kill you when it exploded in your hands. Or blow your hands off, for that matter.

Quote:
"idk" said maya "but she in detetion center for atempted murder"


Phoenix: They arrested an 8 year old and put her in the same place as grown criminals? What the hell has our justice system come to?!

Gumshoe: Nah, it’s fine, pal. We wouldn’t do something that stupid.

Quote:
"WOW FUCK" say phoenix and he jump out of bed and rip he IV needle out
phoenic ran all the way to detention centr


Maya: Woah, what? Are they saying you’re just fine after being blown up? No serious injuries at all? You can just rip your IV needle out and leave?

Phoenix: Why not? Explosions in this world apparently abide by cartoon physics.

Quote:
phoenix went up to pearl "WHAT THE DANK HAPPENED"


Phoenix: “Dank”? That word seems to be making me twitch, for some reason…

Maya: Me too, Nick! There’s something about that word that gives off a vibe of… crappiness.

Gumshoe: I’ve got no idea what you two are talkin’ about.

Quote:
"i dont know mr wright i dident send u cake"
"das weird" said wright bt he knew she werent lying cause she had no sike locks


Phoenix: I mean, I can’t say that way of thinking is foolproof, but it’s Pearl. I doubt she’d think to try and manipulate Psyche Locks like that.

Maya: No, Nick, they’re Sike locks! They appear at random to make you think someone’s lying about someone, but after you’ve spent an hour grilling them about it, they go “SIKE!” and disappear.

Phoenix: ...It worries me how much thought you’ve put into that.

Quote:
"ok pearl dont worry ill defend u in court" said phoenicx
phoenix went to back to his hose to examine box he got cake from
when he loked at box he saw an address so he walked there
he get to big house and he knocke on door and it opened
nd standing there was MANFRED VON KARMA


Phoenix: Wait, what?
Gumshoe: Isn’t he supposed to be in prison? For, you know, kidnapping Pearl?

Maya: Why would he send you a bomb cake from his own address? Does he have any idea how stupidly incriminating that is?

Quote:
"WTF" said wright "WERNT U IN PRISON FOR KIDNAPPIN PEARL"
"fuck u wright this my house u cant come here and harass me im on parole"


Maya: Jeez, Karma’s got a potty mouth.

Phoenix: Parole? Seriously? How much time has it passed between now and Turnabout Pearl, again?

Quote:
"WELL ILL MAKE U NOT PAROLE" said wright
"no" said karma and he slam the door


Maya: Wow, Nick. You just got slammed by the comeback king.

Phoenix: Forget that, I’m more concerned that I’m going to try and interfere with Manfred von Karma’s parole status.

Gumshoe: That’s illegal, pal! I’d be in the right mind to arrest you here and now!

Phoenix: Come on, Gumshoe. I don’t like him, but I’m not gonna screw around with the legal processes surrounding him. I mean, there’s no way I’d do that to anyone, at any point, right?

All: …

Phoenix: ...Well, anyway…

Quote:
"I BET KARMA SENT ME BOMBCAKE" said wright "BUT HOW I PROVE IT"
phoenic went to house and lookd at the bomb that was in the cake


Phoenix: WHAT?! But… didn’t it explode?!

Gumshoe: Man, technology’s really advanced these days.

Quote:
"THIS HAS FINGYPRINTS ON IT" said wright so he took bomb to police station to get tested
"ok pal the test be done so they match karma" said gumshoe


Gumshoe: Oh look, there I am! Look at me, guys! I’m on the big screen! I’m famous!

Phoenix: This kind of fame isn’t something I’d be cheery about.

Gumshoe: Eh, you take what you can get.

Quote:
"wow i was wright" said wright


Maya: Eugh. I think that pun took a few years off my life.

Phoenix: Well, fortunately, I know a doctor who’s just “Wright” for you!

Gumshoe: ...That’s just depressing, pal.

[Phoenix pouts.]

Quote:
"yea" said gumshoe lets go arest him"
"ok" said wright and they went to karma house


Phoenix: Wait, why am I coming along? Isn’t arresting people strictly a police affair?

Gumshoe: Yeah, we can’t be endangering civilians on the job. ...Or off the job.

Quote:
"KNOCK KNOCK" said gumshoe at the door
"whos there" said karma behind door
"UR DEAD" said gumshoe


Maya: ...I don’t get it.

Quote:
nd he shot the door lock and opened it
but when he open door, karma was GONE


Phoenix: Gumshoe! That’s not what guns are for!

Gumshoe: Hey, desperate times, desperate measures.

Quote:
"what the dick tits" said gumshoe "wheres he go"
"hm" said wight "look footyprints"
there was footprint going out backyard


Maya: That’s four people in this story who seem to swear without a single care.

Phoenix: I think it’s been established as a recurring theme in this guy’s fics at this point.

Maya: Out-of-characterness does seem rather common in the jakkidverse.

Gumshoe: Yeah, come on, pal! I don’t swear! At least, not in front of other people. It’s just not very polite…

Quote:
then they heard cafr rev up nd they go outside nd karma was driving away
"SEE YOU FUCKIES" siad karma nd he flipped them off


Phoenix: ...Von Karma is acting awfully bold for someone who’s wanted for attempted murder.

Gumshoe: Flipping us off isn’t a crime, but it should be!

Quote:
"HOLY SHIT HE FINGERED MY FLIP" said wright


Phoenix: He did what now?

Maya: Well, if you imagine that there’s a person here named “Flip”...

Phoenix: No! Shut up!

Quote:
"dont worry hes get more 30 year" said gumshoe and they got in his car nd drove after karma
there was big long car chase where gumshoe shoot at karma nd karma take SMG gun and shoot back and one o wrights hair spikes got shoot off


Phoenix: No! Not my hair!

Maya: Don’t worry Nick, he’s get more 30 year. It’ll be fine.

Gumshoe: Wow! I’ve never been in a car chase like this before! I wish I had some popcorn.

Quote:
SUDDENLY karma crashed he car and he got flung onto bulding


Maya: I kinda want to say something about how unrealistic that sounds, but the mental image is way too hilarious for me to care.

Quote:
"HAH" say karma "U CANT GET ME UP HERE"


Phoenix: Buildings with roofs rarely have no way of getting up to the roof. Unless they’re a house.

Quote:
"but how u get down" said gumshoe
"O SHIT" said karma


Phoenix: ...Or a way of getting down.

Quote:
"YEA" said phoenic "U CANT GET DOWN TIL POLICE GET HERE"
"but im police" sad gumshoe "AND UR UNDER AREST PAL"


Maya: Aww, Gumshoe, why are you sad? You’ve got the criminal where he can’t escape?

Gumshoe: Huh? I’m not sad- Ohhh, I see it!

Phoenix: ...Aside from that, did I seriously forget Gumshoe is a detective?

Quote:
"haha" said karma "i have other plan"
"wat" said phoenix
SUDDENLY
KARMA JUMP OFF BUILDING


Maya: ...Well, I mean, I guess that sorta counts as a plan.

Phoenix: A really stupid one, but yes, a plan.

Quote:
"O SHIT" said gumshoe "SUM1 CATCH HIM"
but they was too slow, karma hit ground


Phoenix: Oh. Well, that’s a shame.

Maya: I’ve never seen you so sarcastic, Nick!

Gumshoe: Well, my pay probably isn’t getting raised after this…

Quote:
BUT THEN TIME SLOW DOWN


Phoenix: ...Wait, what?

Quote:
THERE WERE GREEN GLOW AND KARMA SUNEKD INTO TEH GROUND


Phoenix: Wait, WHAT?!

Maya: Oh boy, here we go.

Gumshoe: Yeah, I don’t think that’s normal.

Quote:
"WTF IS THAT" said rushmore


Phoenix: “Rushmore”? Seriously? Are you even trying anymore?

Gumshoe: I guess he means me…? I mean, I guess Rushmore isn’t that bad of a name…

Quote:
"THATS AN PORTAL" sad qwright "I USEDED IT TO GO TO SONIC WORLD AND MARUIO WORLD AND BIBLE WORLD"


Phoenix: I don’t remember going to “Mario World”. Didn’t Mario just waltz right into my office?

Gumshoe: “Bible World”? Isn’t that usually just called “the past”, pal?

Maya: I guess that depends on your religious beliefs…

Phoenix: Not that I can tell whether or not jakkid is even religious. First he writes a story where I defend Jesus, now he’s referring to biblical events as taking place in another world. This is so confusing…

Maya: Forget it, Nick. It’s Jakkidverse.

Quote:
"well LETS GO CATCHI HIM" said gumshoe
gumshoes and wright jumpd into green portal
TO BEE CONTINUE


Phoenix: And without knowing anything about this green hole in the ground, we jumped in anyway. Hey, anything for plot advancement, right?

[The lights turn back on.]


Phoenix: Well, that was something.

Maya: Yeah, I just can’t wait to inevitably spork the sequel that almost definitely already exists…

Management: Right you are! Turnabout Portal is coming to a sporking theater near you, very soon!

Gumshoe: Oh, man! Does that mean more action scenes with me?

Management: Yes, indeed.

Gumshoe: I knew I’d make it big someday!

[Gumshoe marches out of the theater proudly.]

Phoenix: Well then, I’d say we should go get something to eat now.

Maya: I’m in the mood for cake!

[The two leave the sporking theater.]
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Mon Apr 18, 2016 12:42 am
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MissAmericanPie

Step-ladder

Gender: Female

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2016 11:56 pm

Posts: 3

So I'm new to this website, and I'm thinking about making a spork for the first time. Any advice for a well written spork? :ron:
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Apr 18, 2016 2:01 am
User avatar
Rubia Ryu the Royal

Racing through the sky like a Missile

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6180

Hello and welcome! I might be a little rusty since I haven't contributed anything in a while, but I can suggest a few things.

First, there are the rules on the first post of the thread to follow. While they aren't actually set in stone or anything, the only one we do actually bend is the rule on "bad fanfiction only". Some of the fics we've sporked in this thread aren't that bad, but they definitely could use some improvement.

Next, we like to mess around with these sporkers as much as possible, and we've come up with quite a few ways to work the Management in (or out) of the sporking. Usually, it's a rule of thumb that the Management shouldn't take over the entire session (unless something so serious happens, like the fic somehow makes everyone pass out or smth).

Third, the rules already mention the in-character writing, but I'd like to add emphasis on this. There are some sporkings I've seen where characters act OOC intentionally for laughs, but generally, we don't, since we can leave the OOCness in the fics. As for what "OOC" means for each of the characters, that's another discussion for another day...

In short, feel free to write anything as long as you're poking fun at the fic. It doesn't have to be as fully developed like a story, which would have a plot and character development, but it at least should have a set beginning, middle, end. Sometimes, I see sporkings that either jump too suddenly into the sporking or jump too quickly out of it without giving the fic a proper review, even if it's just made up of a few quick comments.

I personally like to add a little twist to each of my sporkings, so they may feel like there's some story building up from them, but I have absolutely no plan on how things will develop or what things actually happen between different sporkings. I don't think I should anyway, since it doesn't follow the theater conventions, but if people are actually interested in seeing something come about from this theater, I think we could get together a group to discuss how that would work.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.

AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDecisive Witness Mon Apr 18, 2016 1:14 pm
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Nerdowl

Nerd Processor

Gender: Female

Location: England

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Wed Sep 02, 2015 9:54 am

Posts: 248

What the heck did I just read? :udgey:

Not sure whether anyone can do anything with this but I would like to see the characters reaction to whatever the heck this is. It's rated Mature and is a WrightWorth with the Magmata um... well... oh just look at the fic if you're old enough: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6553360
My Ace Attorney FanFiction Thread (Last updated: 5th August 2018)
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Mon Apr 18, 2016 4:16 pm
User avatar
MissAmericanPie

Step-ladder

Gender: Female

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2016 11:56 pm

Posts: 3

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Hello and welcome! I might be a little rusty since I haven't contributed anything in a while, but I can suggest a few things.

First, there are the rules on the first post of the thread to follow. While they aren't actually set in stone or anything, the only one we do actually bend is the rule on "bad fanfiction only". Some of the fics we've sporked in this thread aren't that bad, but they definitely could use some improvement.

Next, we like to mess around with these sporkers as much as possible, and we've come up with quite a few ways to work the Management in (or out) of the sporking. Usually, it's a rule of thumb that the Management shouldn't take over the entire session (unless something so serious happens, like the fic somehow makes everyone pass out or smth).

Third, the rules already mention the in-character writing, but I'd like to add emphasis on this. There are some sporkings I've seen where characters act OOC intentionally for laughs, but generally, we don't, since we can leave the OOCness in the fics. As for what "OOC" means for each of the characters, that's another discussion for another day...

In short, feel free to write anything as long as you're poking fun at the fic. It doesn't have to be as fully developed like a story, which would have a plot and character development, but it at least should have a set beginning, middle, end. Sometimes, I see sporkings that either jump too suddenly into the sporking or jump too quickly out of it without giving the fic a proper review, even if it's just made up of a few quick comments.

I personally like to add a little twist to each of my sporkings, so they may feel like there's some story building up from them, but I have absolutely no plan on how things will develop or what things actually happen between different sporkings. I don't think I should anyway, since it doesn't follow the theater conventions, but if people are actually interested in seeing something come about from this theater, I think we could get together a group to discuss how that would work.



Thanks for the advice! I already have the fanfiction and sporkers chosen, so it should come out soon.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDesk Jockey Fri Apr 22, 2016 1:44 pm
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Polly

Hello! Hello! *squawk*

Gender: None specified

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2015 3:38 am

Posts: 67

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11865292/1 ... CONSPIRACY
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineMedium-in-training Mon Apr 25, 2016 10:34 pm
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Planetbox

ASCEND

Gender: Male

Location: The Other Side of Paradise

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2015 6:43 pm

Posts: 387

Here it is… The thought of your first sporking fills you with DETERMINATION. I’m sorry I couldn’t resist don’t kill me

Obligatory Undertale references aside, this is my first sporking so hopefully it will be somewhat not terrible. jus kiding is torble don red it

Crime, Love, and Burgers: An Ace Attorney + Undertale Crossover by 50Zoned.

Part One
Part Two

Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit:
I’m giving this one two Sahwits. It’s pretty terrible, but that should be expected from a fic that's bad on purpose. There are plenty of grammatical errors and the second chapter is almost impossible to read, along with characters being out of character, but at least the story is credible.

Now to introduce our sporkers!

Apollo Justice!
:apollo: “Here we go again.”

Maya Fey!
:maya: “Hmm… I wonder what this ‘Undertale’ thing is!”

Miles Edgeworth!
:edgeworth: “...I wonder how many times I’ve been invited to this disturbing place.”

And a special guest star!




[Another wonderful day in the sporking theatre begins! Today’s lucky visitors are filing into the theatre, their faces filled with excitement!]

Maya: Did you guys hear that! A special guest star! I wonder who it could be!

Edgeworth: I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough. They called this fic a crossover fic, so I imagine it will be some strange being from another universe.

Apollo: Speaking of which, this fic apparently crosses over with Undertale? Has anyone heard of it?

Speakers: If you must know, Undertale is a popular RPG featuring a human trying to escape from an underground world. The game lets you choose whether to kill or spare the monsters, and has received critical acclaim for its story.

Maya: That sounds like fun! Maybe this won’t be too bad!

Edgeworth: If it wasn’t going to be too bad, then how did it end up in this theatre?

Maya: Well… maybe the management put in the wrong tape?

Speakers: Ha! Don’t be ridiculous! I would never make that mistake a third time!

Apollo: A third time?

Speakers: That’s confidential information. Anyway, our guest star should be arriving shortly, so you should probably stop mocking the management if you want to make a good first impression.

[As if on cue, the entrance to the theatre is filled with a bright light, and when it clears, a tall and thin skeleton in some kind of armor appears in the entryway! The skeleton examines his environment, and then notices the three humans in front of him.]

Papyrus: WOWIE! HUMANS! THIS IS MY CHANCE TO IMPRESS UNDYNE AND FINALLY JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD!

Edgeworth: …What on Earth?

Apollo: ...I’ve already lost track of what’s going on.

Maya: Uh… Hello! I’m Maya Fey! What’s your name!

Papyrus: HELLO, MAYA THE SMALL HUMAN!! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WORLD-FAMOUS COOK AND SOON-TO-BE ROYAL GUARD!!!

Apollo: Well, uh, hello. I’m Apollo Justice. Why aren’t you a royal guard yet?

Papyrus: IN ORDER TO BECOME A ROYAL GUARD, I HAVE TO CAPTURE A HUMAN! AND YOU TWO WILL DO NICELY!!

Edgeworth: Wait, two? There are three of us here!

Papyrus: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THERE’S YOU, THE SMALL HUMAN, AND THAT HORNED DEMON OVER THERE.

Apollo: Gee, thanks.

Papyrus: ANYWAY, IF THE THREE OF YOU WOULD FOLLOW, I WILL TEST YOUR METTLE WITH DEVIOUS PUZZLES, SERVE YOU SPAGHETTI, AND THEN CAPTURE YOU! DOESN’T THAT SOUND FUN!!!

Speakers: The management regrets to inform Papyrus that the kidnapping of valued sporkers is against the rules. You will have to find humans elsewhere.

Papyrus: RATS. ALRIGHT, THAT’S FINE. WHERE ARE WE, ANYWAY?

Edgeworth: We are in a cosmic torture chamber where innocent people are forced to watch horrifying videos ridiculing themselves.

Papyrus: THANKS , FANCY HUMAN! I DIDN’T REALLY UNDERSTAND ALL OF THAT, BUT I DID HEAR THE PART ABOUT MOVIES! THAT SOUNDS FUN!! WHEN DOES THE MOVIE START?

Edgeworth: …My name is Miles Edgeworth, not “fancy human”.

Speakers: Enough getting to know each other! The movie is about to start, so get to your seats!

[The veteran sporkers sat down together, with the skeleton following them once he figured out what was going on. After a few minutes the lights dimmed, and the fic began.]

Spoiler: Crime, Love, and Burgers: Part One
Quote:
Crime, Love, and Burgers

Apollo: That’s… uh… quite an interesting title.

Papyrus: WOWIE!! I EAT BURGERS ALL THE TIME WITH MY BROTHER! MAYBE THIS MOVIE WILL BE ABOUT ME!

Edgeworth: I’d hope that it isn’t.

Maya: I suppose if it has burgers in it I might be involved. I’m not sure whether or not that’s a good thing.

Quote:
So one day, Pheonix and Maya we're hanging out at office.

"hey nick what you got htere?"

"It's a new case. its pretty intresting. you shuld look atit.:


Apollo: It looks like we’re off to a great start. This spelling is top notch.

Maya: Since when do we have a case that’s not interesting?

Papyrus: IF IT INVOLVES ME, THEN IT’S PROBABLY EVEN MORE INTERESTING!!………..…I HAVE WEIRD FRIENDS.

Quote:
It was a case for someone names Frisk. they were accussed of killing a living(?) robot named mettaton.


Apollo: How can a robot be living?

Edgeworth: It doesn’t seem like the author knows either. But this brings up a psychological question. Can it really be called murder if the victim is a robot?

Papyrus: WOWIE! IT’S METTATON! I KNOW HIM! I’VE SEEN A LOT OF HIS SHOWS! …….WAIT, HE’S DEAD?

Apollo: Wait, you know that robot? Then… why is his murder being investigated by our police force?

Maya: Maybe the police have learned to travel between dimensions, and now they’re having interdimensional investigations!

Edgeworth: I wouldn’t give the author that much credit.

Quote:
the evidence was taht metaton was trying to kill frosk earlier and that Firks had a knife and a frying pan. There were dent marks on mettaton and he also had been stabed.


Maya: Wow, that Frisk person must have been pretty strong if they could stab through metal!

Edgeworth: Is that even how you say the name? The author wrote the name three times and spelled it differently each time.

Papyrus: IT IS PRONOUNCED FRISK! I PERSONALLY KNOW THEM.

Edgeworth: Well, at least the author had the sense to spell it right the first time, before butchering it later.

Quote:
" wow nick thats so cool! a robot murdrer case! will you acsept it?

:"But its in a place called the underground so i dont know if I will." sed Pheonix. Then he saw how much he would get paid. "Muahahahaha look! I will get pays in GOLD! Ill be rich!

AHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH."


Apollo: The fact that the case is in a different dimension is probably a larger point of contention.

Maya: But we get paid in gold! I think it would be worth it!!

Edgeworth: Not really. I’m sure Wright would lose most of that money in a year, based on how many times he’s been forced into buying things.

Quote:
author's note: I forgot to say, phoenix is evil


Apollo: That seems like a kind of important thing to “forget to say”.

Papyrus: THAT SPIKY HUMAN IS EVIL?!!! I’LL HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR HIM!

Maya: Poor Nick. He doesn’t even get to defend himself.

Edgeworth: It’s odd that he wasn’t invited. This story appears to involve him quite heavily.

Speakers: Yeah, in retrospect it would have made more sense to bring him. But then we thought it would be funnier to trick the guest into thinking he’s evil, so we invited Apollo instead.

Apollo: Wow, thanks.

Papyrus: WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT TRICKING THE SKELETON?! I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT NO ONE CAN DECEIVE THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!

Quote:
Maya said "but how to we get to the underground?"


Maya: Well, if it’s the underground I’M thinking of, you could just dig a hole.

Apollo: The police apparently know. Why don’t you ask them?

Quote:
Phoenix replied "it says we should go to this place called 'mt Ebot' oh ya, it also says that there are monsters taht dunt liek humins."


Papyrus: HEY! THAT’S JUST BEING RUDE! WE DON’T ALL HATE HUMANS! WELL, MOST OF US DO.

Edgeworth: Where specifically is Wright getting all of this information?

Maya: The case file?

Apollo: Does the case file contain a bunch of Mt. Ebot travel brochures?

Papyrus: IT’S MOUNT EBBOT ACTUALLY. THESE TRAVEL BROCHURES MUST BE WRONG IF THEY CAN’T EVEN GET THE NAME RIGHT! IN FACT, I’M SOMEWHAT OFFENDED!!

Edgeworth: Don’t worry about it. That’s a natural side effect of coming here.

Quote:
Myaa was scarred "Oh nick i dont want to go" "NO! you will be comming weather you ike it or not! ...Or do I have to take away your burger privelages again?"

"Oh no..now i have to go!"


Maya: Wait… again? When did that happen before? And since when does Nick control my burger privileges?

Apollo: Since the author wrote this fic, apparently.

Papyrus: THIS HUMAN IS EVEN WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!! HE WON’T TAKE AWAY THIS POOR CHILD’S RIGHTS TO EAT BURGERS AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

Edgeworth: Papyrus, I think you might be taking this fic a little too seriously.

Papyrus: MAYBE YOU’RE NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY ENOUGH! THERE’S A MADMAN ON THE LOOSE, AND I CAN’T JUST LET HIM WANDER FREE!

Apollo: …This won’t end well.

Quote:
Pheenix and Maya were in the RUENS. a small harmlessd monster showed up.


Maya: Wow, they got there really fast!

Papyrus: YOU’RE RIGHT! THEY GOT THERE SO FAST, WE DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT HAPPEN!!

Edgeworth: Assuming the Ruins are even in the so-called “Underground”. That author didn’t seem interested in specifying for people who aren’t familiar with the game.

Apollo: I don’t think the author is particularly interested at all.

Quote:
"Hi my name is froggit." said Froggitt.

"Goodbey." sed Feenix as he kilded to forgit with his spikey hair. it turnd into dust.


Maya: He “kilded to forgit”. Did he kill the frog in an attempt to forget something?

Apollo: I’d like to forget this fic.

Maya: Either way, the idea that he stabbed that frog to death with his hair is pretty far-fetched. What do you think, Papyrus?

[The group turns to Papyrus. The skeleton is staring at the screen, too shocked to respond.]

Apollo: Maybe someone should tell him that this Phoenix hasn’t actually done any of this stuff?

Speakers: Don’t you dare. I’m enjoying this.

Quote:
"Oh noes! Nik that monster was frendly! why did yu kill it?" Mayo stared crying.


Edgeworth: How could she have known it was friendly? It only said five words before it died!

Maya: But you weren’t there Edgeworth! Maybe those five words were full of kindness! Besides, it was just a little frog! It couldn’t have hurt anybody!

Apollo: Yeah, I haven’t heard that one before.

Quote:
" STFU MAYU IM GARTHERING EVIDNECE. and look! I got GOLD! YUS! IM REICH! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHH."


Papyrus: OH NO! THE SPIKY HUMAN’S ACTIONS KEEP GETTING WORSE AND WORSE! HE’S STOLEN THAT INNOCENT FROG’S GOLD!!! BUT I CAN HELP HIM GET BETTER! I’M GOING TO CAPTURE HIM, AND THEN TRAIN HIM TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON! NYEH HEH HEH!!!

[Suddenly, Papyrus stands up and attempts to leave the theatre!]

Speakers: Papyrus, you must wait until the movie is over before you attempt to reform other sporkers. Please refrain from trying to escape.

Papyrus: FINE!! I GUESS IT CAN WAIT!!!!

[Papyrus reluctantly returns to his seat.]

Apollo: Alright, now that that’s over, I don’t think that Froggit would even be very useful evidence.

Maya: Maybe Nick is committing a bunch of other crimes in the hopes of revealing them in court and making the defendant’s crime less bad by comparison?

Edgeworth: I don’t think even Wright would come up with a strategy that ridiculous.

Quote:
After that, Evil nick kiled all the monsterds that got in there way, but most of them just hided from him.


Maya: See! My explanation is making even more sense!

Apollo: My favorite part of this fic is how Phoenix is completely in character.

Edgeworth: I’d recommend you be careful with you sarcasm, Apollo. We don’t want to confuse the skeleton more than he already is.

Papyrus: …WAIT, IF THE SPIKY HUMAN DEFEATED ALL THE MONSTERS HE FOUND… DOES THAT MEAN… HE COULD HAVE DEFEATED ME!!!!

Apollo: This is getting worse by the second...

Papyrus: WOWIE!!!! THE SPIKY HUMAN’S ACTIONS GET MORE DEVIOUS BY THE SECOND!! HE’S DEFEATED THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!! HOW WILL WE RECOVER!!

Maya: …I should probably tell Phoenix about this when we get back.

Edgeworth: I think Mr. Wright has enough to worry about right now without the threat of getting captured by a skeleton.

Quote:
They had almoost got tu the criem seen when they got to a place called MTT hotel.


Maya: Where even is the crime scene?

Apollo: I think the entire underground is a crime scene now, based on how many people fic-Phoenix killed….

Quote:
"yo nick lets stop there." "no mayo we got to get to the crime scene so we could investiget." But then maya saw a burger shop. She ran and ran and ran. Pheonix was chased her.

"Moya coem back or i will take ayaym yur borgers for 10000 yeers!"


Edgeworth: “ayaym?” That’s quite an interesting choice of words the author used there.

Apollo: Wait, they weren’t actually inside the hotel? How did fic-Maya see the burger shop through a brick wall?

Maya: Maybe I can see through brick walls! If the police can take cases from other dimensions, then surely I can see through walls!

Papyrus: BUT MTT RESORT ISN’T THAT LARGE!! IT’S MAYBE A FOOT FROM THE DOOR TO THE BURGER SHOP! HOW DID IT TAKE THE TWO HUMANS SO LONG TO CROSS IT!!!

Edgeworth: The distance is less important if the running speed is decreased. Perhaps Maya and Wright were running extremely slowly.

Maya: Maybe the two of us just ran in circles around the fountain really fast!

Edgeworth: …I suppose that would work too…

Quote:
But maya was faster. and locked the door behind her. When she turned around to order her burgers, she sees the hootest munster in all of the undrground. His name ws Burgerpants. He had gloden brown fur lik a perfctly toaster burgr and looked likea cat.


Papyrus: BURGERPANTS!!?? THAT’S JUST A RUDE NICKNAME, NOT HIS REAL NAME!! EVERYONE KNOWS HIS REAL NAME IS [REDACTED BY MANAGEMENT]

Apollo: Really? That’s uh… quite the name. What do you think, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: I’m busy trying to figure out that simile at the end. It is supposed to say “a perfectly toaster burger”?

Apollo: Maybe it’s supposed to say “perfectly toasted burger”? Even though the burger itself isn’t usually toasted…

Quote:
"Wow your so hot lik a burgr of the gril" said burgerpunts. It was tru love at frist site.
"Oh babby you spackel like a glemburder undra a desco liht." Sed Burmerpints.


Maya: Um… Why is he making those weird faces?

Apollo: I wish I knew. It almost looks like his face is too large for his head.

Papyrus: YEAH, HE ALWAYS ACTS LIKE THAT!! IN FACT, IT KIND OF CREEPS ME OUT. THAT’S WHY ME AND MY BROTHER GO TO GRILLBY’S!!!

Edgeworth: Alright, I can sort of accept the nonsensical idea that fic-Maya would be infatuated by “Burgerpants” because he works at a burger joint…

Maya: Well I certainly can’t!

Edgeworth: …but why on Earth would he suddenly reciprocate those feelings for no explained reason.

Papyrus: UM… THE MAGIC OF LOVE!!!??

Maya: Maybe it’s just because of my natural charm and good looks!

Apollo: ...I’ll refrain from commenting on that one.

Quote:
"Yuu shinne s briht like a fry in oild." Myay said. They loucked at eachother passonately.


Apollo: I hope the author isn’t expending all of his creative energy on these fast food based pickup lines.

Quote:
But then Fphenix Busted through the loked door! He was cerrying sum gold abd he wus covred in munstra dest!.

"AHa! i fund yu maya! No mor burgars for you! And now yoa will haev to screb all the tiolets in the uderground!


Papyrus: WHAT GIVES THE SPIKY HUMAN THE RIGHT TO ASSIGN PEOPLE TOILET DUTY!! THAT’S MY JOB!! OR… IT MIGHT BE MY JOB SOMEDAY!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!

Apollo: It’s probably easy for him to boss people around since he’s killed most of the other capable monsters.

Maya: Does the underground even have toilets?

Papyrus: …MAYBE.

Quote:
mayo strated to cri. "no neck I jsut met brurgapant and hes goong to git merried to mee.


Maya: Wow, that relationship sure progressed fast in the five seconds that we were on screen together… This is getting kind of embarrassing...

Apollo: Look at the bright side, Maya. At least you’re not Phoenix.

Quote:
Oh ne yu dont maya i will keap you elslavd forevra. You stel own me 1000000000000000000000000000000 $ for all of the bragers you eet evrydye.


Edgeworth: They can’t even put the dollar sign in the right place. How disappointing.

Maya: I’m surprised Nick kept loaning me money for this long without ending up broke.

Apollo: I’m surprised that Nick thinks he can enslave someone who joined his company of her own free will.

Quote:
Add besids its almust time for the caes to statr. He gave an evil gran. "i getta lotuf evidense." ill use my nwe muny to buy the wordl ! amauahahahaha."" oh ne. Mayo creid.


Apollo: How did he get all that evidence without visiting the crime scene once?

Maya: The more this continues, the more plausible my idea about Nick’s plan becomes.

Quote:
"iheff to go im soray" sed mayo to brurgrpun. I luve yo Bugerpents. mayya cryed out." "Yoo Are hottre then all uf Hutlands Nurgerpans said to Muya"


Maya: Wait, is Burgerpants calling fic-Maya “hotter than all of the Hotlands”, or is fic-me calling Burgerpants “hotter than all of Hotlands Nurgerpans”?

Edgeworth: I’ve officially given up on trying to figure this out…


[As the lights dim and the movie stops playing, the skeleton appears to be tearing up at the events he just witnessed]

Papyrus: *SNIFF* WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY!!!

Apollo: Um… Are you crying?

Papyrus: NO!! I’M NOT CRYING!!! I JUST… CAUGHT SOMETHING IN MY EYE!!

Apollo: Uh… What did you catch?

Papyrus: …TEARS!!!

Speaker: The management wishes to remind Papyrus that quoting your respective form of media, as a lesser form of breaking the fourth wall, it strictly prohibited in this theatre!

[Upon hearing these words, Papyrus suddenly appears outraged.]

Papyrus: REALLY!! BUT WHAT IF I WANT TO SPREAD TALES OF MY GLORY!! ARE YOU SAYING I’M NOT ALLOWED TO REPEAT MY MOST FAMOUS QUOTES!!??

Speakers: Uh… I guess so.

Papyrus: NO!! I REFUSE!! EVERYONE MUST KNOW OF MY HEROIC EXPLOITS!!

Apollo: Uh… Does anyone have any idea what’s going on?

Edgeworth: Unfortunately, I am just as confused as you are.

Papyrus: I DON’T THINK I CAN STAND THIS HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT!! I’LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER!!

[Papyrus gets up and attempts to leave the theatre. However, he is interrupted when he unexpectedly disappears in a bright flash of light. The other sporkers simply stare at the exit in confusion.]

Maya: Uh… What happened to Papyrus?

Speakers: I’m afraid that he has been kicked from the theatre for multiple rule violations. Not only that, but he was kind of getting on my nerves. But don’t worry, we’re currently setting things up to bring in a NEW special guest star in a matter of seconds!

Apollo: Oh boy. Is it going to be another skeleton?

Speakers: …I will neither confirm nor deny it!

[Suddenly, another bright flash of light appears by the entrance! When it fades, the sporkers are greeted with… another skeleton! This one’s a little shorter though.]

Apollo: …Why am I not surprised?

Sans: ……uh… hi. could someone explain why i’m suddenly in a movie theatre with three humans?

Speakers: You’ve been selected to watch a fanfiction with these three humans! Few others get to enjoy this rare offer.

Edgeworth: That’s correct, because I’m constantly forced to attend these farces in place of other people.

Speakers: Oh, don’t listen to him. He’s just being a Negative Nancy!

Sans: …can i leave now?

Speakers: Nonsense! Don’t you want to get to know your fellow viewers?

Sans: ...not really. see ya.

[The skeleton attempts to leave the theatre, but finds his passage blocked by an extremely large brick wall, which has just been built over the entrance.]

Speakers: Why do you crossover characters always insist on leaving?! It’s extremely rude to leave your engagements early!

Sans: …well i suppose i can’t argue with common courtesy, can i? the name’s sans. sans the skeleton. it’s nice to meet you… people.

Maya: Hi there! My name is Maya Fey, and these are my friends Apollo Justice and Miles Edgeworth! They’re both lawyers!

Edgeworth: …Charmed.

Apollo: Nice to meet you… uh… Sans. Actually, there was another skeleton here earlier named Papyrus. Do you know him?

Sans: papyrus? yeah, he’s my brother. he was here too?

Maya: Yeah he was! He got kicked out though, and you apparently replaced him.

Sans: oh. that’s cool. i guess. did he manage to get out unscathed?

Apollo: Pretty much, excluding the fact that he now believes my defense mentor to be a murderous criminal.

Sans: ...wait, what?

Speakers: Enough small talk, gang! We don’t want these intermediate segments to last forever do we? I have a schedule to keep here! Everyone back to your seats!

[The sporkers reluctantly sit back down, and the next chapter of the fic begins!]

Spoiler: Crime, Love, and Burgers: Part Two
Quote:
Im sarry for da brake guis becus i hed skool so i culdnot upd8 this desu fanfic. injoy!


Edgeworth: I’d like to take a moment to thank our school system for trying its best to slow the release of this chapter.

Apollo: What great heroism they displayed in trying to stop this madman!

Sans: well, it looks like the author just got “schooled”.

Apollo: …

Edgeworth: Pardon me, but I would like to leave.

Speakers: Sans! I will not have you terrible puns contaminating the viewing experience!

Sans: hey, i’m a comedian. i’m just trying to make a living here.

Maya: Don’t be so negative guys! I thought that was actually pretty funny!

Sans: glad to be of service. At least we had a momentary distraction from whatever’s happening on screen right now.

Quote:
Chaper to: the cortroum (ddun dun dun suspense)


Sans: wow. those are some flawless sound effects there. i’m impressed.

Maya: Oh boy, the courtroom scene! Those are always so exciting!

Edgeworth: I wouldn’t be so certain. Knowing the author’s track record, I’m sure he’ll be able to make this scene as painful as possible.

Quote:
Juj Asgord sed "Curt is nuw is seshion.


Apollo: Is it just me, or is the spelling getting worse by the sentence?

Sans: maybe the author had some kind of painful head injury. whether i was offended enough by this piece of art to have caused that is up to interpretation.

Maya: Who’s that goat-looking guy in the Judge’s bench. Is he “Asgord”?

Sans: actually, that’s “asgore”. he’s king of the underground. i’m not sure why he was demoted to a judge, and i’m also not sure what the author did to his name. maybe those mysteries will be solved before this movie is over.

Edgeworth: I wouldn’t count on that.

Quote:
And then Toorrel was liek "but wyy are yuu the jej Asgurd yuu semell i haet yu"
and Asgure was liek "cri" and then he sed "Prosecutter are yu redy"


Sans: that’s the former queen of the underground. her name is toriel. she usually isn’t that rude, but i suppose the author didn’t find stuff like “characterization” important.

Maya: Wow, this Asgore guy sure got over that insult pretty fast!

Apollo: To be fair, that “insult” was more of a playground taunt.

Edgeworth: Why are the king and queen even attending this trial? Shouldn’t they be under more security?

Sans: of course they should. unfortunately, the author doesn’t appear to agree.

Quote:
And Udine sed "OH YA IM REEDY" and she speered the bench befuer supluxing it.


Maya: Why is there a human-like fish at the prosecutor’s bench?!

Sans: that would be undyne, captain of the the royal guard. also a prosecutor, apparently. that’s alright though. it’s not like she would have other duties or anything. and she’s a monster, not a fish, though i suppose it doesn’t make much of a difference.

Maya: Wow, she’s tearing apart the prosecutor’s bench! Shouldn’t that be illegal?

Apollo: Shouldn’t this fic be illegal?

Edgeworth: Hitting people with whips during trials should also be illegal, but apparently it’s not. Maybe in this fic, destroying public property is perfectly legal.

Apollo: I suppose that logic applies to throwing coffee at the defense as well?

Sans: …wow. it sounds like you three come from an exciting dimension.

Quote:
It wuz reely tence. The first witnus was brout in. It was decative Peprus!


Sans: …decative peprus? whatever, that’s close enough.

Maya: Hey looks it’s Papyrus! Too bad he isn’t here to see this!

Apollo: If the author continues his trend of flawless characterization, then I imagine Papyrus probably wouldn’t want to see this.

Sans: speaking of which, why was papyrus kicked out of here?

Edgeworth: He was apparently kicked out for “multiple rule violations” and for “getting on the managers nerves.”

Apollo: …wait a minute… does that mean that if I break enough rules I can get kicked out?

Speakers: Of course not. Papyrus was a crossover character that might never come back. Since you guys are regular sporkers, you would receive much more amusing punishments for misconduct!

Apollo: That figures.

Quote:
Asgored slamed his tee cup "ORDRE IN THE CURT!


Maya: I guess it wasn’t that hard to keep order considering no one was talking at the time.

Quote:
Witnas, staet yur name and ocupation (you now, becuz they do that all the time in ase atterney gams)


All: …

Apollo: Uh… Thanks for the information?

Quote:
"I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ROYAL DETECTIVE (AND SOON TO BE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD)"

Undime got realy pised "BUT THATS MYJOB!"


Maya: I thought she was the prosecutor? Does she not even know her own job?

Edgeworth: It appears that the author believes that the two are synonymous.

Apollo: I suppose both jobs are part of law enforcement…

Sans: well, they also made papyrus a detective, which isn’t the same occupation as a royal guard either…

Quote:
Asgore didnt want to heer any moer of this "just get on with your testify thingy."

" WELL, WE HAVE THREE MAIN REASONS WHY THE DEFENDANT MAY HAVE COMMITTED THE CRIME (THOUGH I DON'T REALLY BELIEVE IT…)"

"HOARD IT! " Phonixs yelled. "why dont you beleive it?"


Maya: “Hoard it?” What is Papyrus supposed to be hoarding?

Apollo: Wait a minute… Why is Papyrus the only one speaking in perfect English?

Sans: wow, you’re right. it also looks like papyrus has escaped getting his characterization destroyed…

Maya: It almost makes me feel sorry for him. He’s probably wondering what happened to all his friends…

Edgeworth: I wouldn’t look too deeply into this thing. Let’s just assume the author messed up and wait for this to be over.

Quote:
"WELL, THEY JUST SEEM TO BE…UH….TOO NICE..?"

ABJACTIOBN # ! UNdime screemed "butthere a humin so theyre evil so that meens theyre GIILTY!"


Apollo: That’s some flawless logic from the prosecution there.

Sans: to be fair, anti-human sentiments run rather high where i come from. that still doesn’t give her an excuse for making an argument so “fishy”.

Edgeworth: …And I thought Wright’s puns were bad…

Quote:
"hey nik they dont seem to like hunams much doo they" Maya asced
"dangit. sed pheonics. now i Can't asc out oonion- sanes. it gess they dont like humins."


Edgeworth: But if they don’t like humans, then why are they letting a human defend in court?

Maya: Based on the way Phoenix was acting in the last chapter, I’m not sure if he could be called a human by now…

Edgeworth: Based on how Phoenix was acting, I think the monsters have more murders to worry about than this one.

Sans: maybe it’s a good thing that I missed the last chapter then.

Apollo: Is no one going to comment on the fact that Mr. Wright apparently wanted to ask out a giant onion octopus?

Maya: I’m just pretending that I didn’t hear that part.

Quote:
maya said "wait you liek unionsan?" "Guiet meya or i'll make you scrub the windows of my ofice..FROM THE OOTSIDE AHUSMAHAHHHAH." sed Feonix


Sans: wow, this guy is kind of a jerk.

Apollo: He’s actually nothing like this in real life.

Edgeworth: Indeed. This fanfiction is simply ruining his character.

Sans: ah, that figures. why wasn’t he invited here to defend himself?

Edgeworth: The management apparently thinks tricking you people is funny.

Speakers: I said nothing of the sort! Stop spreading rumors about how this theatre is run!

Sans: then what’s the real reason that you didn’t invite that attorney?

Speakers: Well… Apollo really wanted to go back here for some reason, so we invited him instead!

Apollo: That is not true at all.

Quote:
"UHH, ANYWAYS, THE VICTIM, METTATON, WAS FOUND WITH DENT MARKINGS. THE DEFENDANT, THE HUMAN, HAD A FRYING PAN WITH THEM WHEN -"

HODE IT! Pheonix yled out. "how do yuu know that the dent warks we're from a freying pan?"


Maya: Wow! Phoenix isn’t even letting him finish! What if he was about to explain!

Edgeworth: Well, this is usually Mr. Wright’s preferred tactic.

Apollo: Though it is a valid point. However, I’m sure Papyrus has an answer prepared.

Quote:
"WE DON'T"


Apollo: …Never mind.

Sans: why did they arrest the defendant again?

Edgeworth: It seems as if the only basis for their arrest was human prejudice.

Maya: I don’t know… that seems about as reasonable as some of the other arrests I’ve seen.

Quote:
"Shadupg yuu yuor suposed to say stuff that geats the defandint a guilty verdit! said Undine as she through a spear at the witnass stand."

"Continuu, Papirus" Asgor.


Edgeworth: Does anyone care that the prosecution is throwing spears at the detective?

Maya: The judge sure doesn’t.

Apollo: Maybe Undyne just missed.

Sans: undyne is also apparently too busy throwing those spears to actually explain these inconsistencies.

Quote:
"BUT THE DENTS WEREN'T WHAT DEFEATED METTATON. HE WAS STABBED….WITH A KNIFE….WE THINK."


Apollo: We think? Was there not a knife wound?

Sans: i don’t think this investigation was handled very well.

Edgeworth: This is honestly kind of disappointing to watch.

Sans: i’m not sure papyrus even got to see the crime scene before he was expected to testify.

Maya: Well, we never got to see the crime scene either. I don’t think the author even knows where the crime scene is!

Quote:
"Add thw humine had a nife tooo! ginly! guilty! guilty!" Undyme was forming at the mooth.


Maya: Wow. She’s really invested in this trial.

Apollo: She seems pretty adamant about this. That’s pretty suspicious.

Edgeworth: How do they even know the defendant has a knife? Were their fingerprints on it? Did someone witness her using it?

Sans: …magic.

Quote:
"And whats he finel peece of evidance?" Pheenix asked./


Apollo: Was any of that even evidence? Papyrus didn’t even seem certain about any of it.

Sans: yeah, it was definitely evidence. it didn’t really prove anything, but it was evidence.

Quote:
"I'M LOOKING AT MY NOTE, AND IT SAYS THAT….THE DEFENDANT WAS DETAINED BECAUSE THEY'RE A HUMAN."

"Finaly somethig makes sense about this casee." Undine said.


Edgeworth: I guess I was right. The only basis for this arrest was human prejudice.

Apollo: Based on how Phoenix was acting, I think their prejudice was well-founded.

Maya: But what if this human is nicer than Phoenix?

Sans: well, there’s no way we could know. The defendant still hasn’t said anything or been addressed at all.

Apollo: I doubt the defendant is even in the courthouse. Based on the prosecutor’s attitude, they’re probably already in jail.

Quote:
OBJICSHIN! Thats rassist! Phonics yeled.

"And yOu! studid defence atterny! shudup! im trying to get a guilt verdict here!" sed Undyne.


Maya: Phonics Wright? That’s a new one!

Sans: with a name like that, i bet he’s great at reading and “wright”-ing.

All: …

Apollo: …I think I’m going to go insane if this doesn’t end soon.

Speakers: Regardless of how you feel about our guest’s puns, you cannot leave until the video has concluded!

Edgeworth: Technically, this isn’t racism. Human beings are a species, not a race.

Sans: does it really matter anymore?

Quote:
"Eqality fir Humins!" sed Torial from the galery. She wus then shoved out off the gelery.

"ORDAR! I WELL HAVE ORDEER!" Asgore yelled as he slamd his tea cup. " Papyus, you can cotinue."]


Apollo: This guy did a great job of restoring order, considering only one person was talking. Again.

Quote:
*AHEM* , YES, YOUR HONOR.. AS I WAS SAYING, I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THE DEFENDANT TO BE NOT GUIL…."

OBSKANKTION! %! Undies yells. "This Is ASE AttrNY your supposd to say the humman in GUIIIIIIILTY!"


Edgeworth: Technically, that isn’t Ace Attorney. It’s a disappointing Ace Attorney and Undertale crossover fanfiction.

Speakers: The management must remind Edgeworth that breaking the fourth wall is strictly prohibited.

Edgeworth: If you must remind someone, remind the author of this fic.

Maya: Wow, the witness actually agrees with the defense for once!

Quote:
Papyruss ingored Undime and continuud.

"So I think that the human…. the human…. is GUILTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"


Maya: Well, never mind.

Sans: is this supposed to be papyrus talking? he’s not even talking in all caps anymore.

Apollo: I think this fic just lost its cohesiveness.

Quote:
"WTF!?" said Pheonix. Then he looked into the gallery. He saw a skeleton with a blue eye mind controling Papirus!


Maya: Sans! Look! It’s you!

Sans: oh boy. maybe my personality can get butchered now. this is like a dream come true.

Edgeworth: I guess that explains why Papyrus wasn’t speaking normally.

Sans: no it doesn’t. i can’t control other monsters minds. and even i could, why would i control papyrus. i could just control the judge and end the trial right there. or i could control this phoenix guy and have him forfeit. either way, this fic doesn’t make any sense.

Apollo: I don’t think it’s actually supposed to. I hope not, at least.

Quote:
"Yu see, yur honer, even our witness thinkes that the human is gilty!."

"Wait a minute." said Asgore. "I we executed the human, whould that give us a soul?."


Maya: Wait, who said that first line?

Edgeworth: The prosecutor, maybe? The author didn’t really specify…

Sans: since he didn’t say who exactly it was, i think it’s safe to say that some random kid in the gallery actually said that line. that’s my theory at least.

Apollo: I think I’m just going to ignore that second line there.

Quote:
"HALD IT! phoenix yelled. The witness is being mind controlled! I demand a fifteen minute recess to get a new witness!"

"eh ok" Asgore said.


Maya: Wow! He caved pretty fast!

Edgeworth: Apparently the prosecutor didn’t have anything to say about that either.

Apollo: Why would she have any reason to question a statement as ludicrous as that?

Sans: since, i can apparently mind-control everyone now, why would getting a new witness matter. couldn’t i mind-control the next witness too? could i also mind-control the author and make them delete this entire fic?

Edgeworth: We all certainly wish you could.

Quote:
Later, Pheonics was talking to Maya in the courtroom lobby.


Maya: Aw… He was so close to writing a sentence without any spelling mistakes!

Sans: why does that lawyer guy’s name have to be so complicated?

Apollo: All of our names are complicated. Well, except Maya. And I guess yours is only four letters too…

Sans: he’d probably still find a way to mess it up though. he’d probably write it like “snaz” or something.

Maya: “Snaz?” That sounds like “sneeze!” Wait, do skeletons actually sneeze?

Sans: that’s classified information.

Quote:
"Hey nick, how are you going to win the case? Nobody around here seems to liek humans."


Edgeworth: What do their human prejudices have to do with winning the case? They just need to prove that the defendant didn’t commit the crime.

Apollo: Well, they would have to convince the jury… but we’ve seen no evidence that there is a jury.

Sans: so... i guess they have to convince the judge without starting a riot. i wonder how our honorable hero will solve this predicament.

Quote:
Phoenix smiled evily.

"Don't worry maya. I just have to find Mettatun's real killer. If I do that then Friks can go free. And then I will be riech!"


Apollo: Isn’t Phoenix already rich from all those monsters he killed? Why hasn’t he just given up?

Maya: Because he wants to be even MORE rich of course! Come on, Apollo, you’ve got to be more motivated!

Sans: are you implying that apollo should kill people and take their money?

Maya: Of course not! I’m just saying he needs more DETERMINATION, you know?

Speakers: ...I’ll just ignore that one.

Quote:
"wow that's really cool nick. then when your rich you can get me burgers."

'NO BURERS FOR YOU MAYO." then he laughed a evil laugh. "im' going to make you pay for your litle inserection earlier."


Edgeworth: Insurrection? Phoenix is only Maya’s employer. Is that really the correct term here?

Apollo: This same problem seems to exist in the whole fic. I don’t think the author comprehends Phoenix and Maya’s working relationship.

Maya: Yeah! There’s nothing to stop me from getting some burgers on my own. It’s not like Phoenix is my legal guardian.

Sans: i think there are number of things the author doesn’t comprehend. basic spelling and grammar being two of them.

Quote:
"what do you meen nick?" said maya.

"Heheheheeeehehhhhe." youll see. Nick was looking scary.


Sans: oh no. what devious plot is the evil porcupine attorney plotting this time? will maya get to eat burgers again? only time will tell.

Apollo: Assuming we survive that long.

Quote:
The fifteen minute recess enved. The court reconveened.

"Your honor, I would like to say that with my brillience dectective skills I have found the ture killer of Mettaton. And it is NOT the defendant Frisk!"


Apollo: “The fifteen minute recess enved”? Who was it envious of?

Maya: It was probably envious of the twenty minute recess, since it had more minutes than it!

Sans: i’m betting that phoenix is the real killer here. he could have purposefully set up this trial so he’d get more money. who agrees?

Edgeworth: Well, he killed all those monsters at the beginning. So it’s not too big of a stretch.

Apollo: I mean, ignoring the fact that they live in two separate dimensions.

Edgeworth: Our police force apparently got this case’s summary from this dimension, so Phoenix could have killed the robot through a magical portal too. Anything is possible when you don’t care about quality.

Quote:
'OK then, then who is the killer?" judge Asgore asked. Phoenix smiled, and then let out an evil cackle that sounded like this.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHHHHHHAHAHAHHHEHHEHEHAHHAHAHAHHEHEHAHHHEAHEHAHEHHAEHEAHHEHAHEHAHEHAHEHHAEHAHEHHHEAHHhhHHHAHHHHEHAAHAHAAGGHHHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


Sans: speaking of quality, it’s clear that the author put a lot of thought into dictating his evil laugh.

Maya: Why is that Frisk person under arrest? Shouldn’t they be turning more of their attention to the human who maniacally laughs at random?

Edgeworth: That would require them to think through their arrest, which they clearly haven’t. Not if the skeleton’s testimony is anything to go off of.

Quote:
"THE TRUE MERDURER OF METTATON IS…." Pheonix pointed his finger at the gallery.

"NONE OTHOR THAN BURGERPANTSS!1!"


Sans: burgerpants? really? of all the people to make the murderer…

Edgeworth: Actually, it looks like fic-Phoenix is intentionally blaming them to “punish” Ms. Fey.

Maya: The author apparently decided to make me fall in love with that guy, simply because I like burgers.

Sans: oh. i see. that must be pretty painful.

Apollo: Actually, considering how many of these things they force us to see, we’ve all pretty much learned to ignore the pain.

Quote:
Mayo lasped out loud. "nick y u do this" and then she starts to cry.


Edgeworth: It’s not like Phoenix has any proof. I seriously doubt he’d be able to convict Burgerpants for this.

Sans: i don’t know. this version of our court doesn’t seem to care much about proof.

Apollo: Is this story going to become some kind of star-crossed lovers thing?

Edgeworth: Hopefully we never have to find out.

Maya: While those questions are all interesting, I’d like to know what “Mayo lasped out loud” means.

Edgeworth: It’s clearly “gasped”. However, I thought it was “laughed” for a second.

Sans: i wish it was “laughed”. that would have been hilariously poorly timed.


[Suddenly, the theatre's lights brighten. The screen turns off, and the theatre doors reopen.]

Apollo: What? It’s over already?

Speakers: Yes. The author has yet to release another chapter.

Sans: maybe the educational system is trying to stop them again?

Speakers: Perhaps, but as of now, the story has not been continued.

Maya: But that was such a cliffhanger! What’s going to happen next!

Sans: i’d prefer to just pretend that never happened. my friends had their personalities ruined so thoroughly...

Apollo: Hey, at least you weren’t Phoenix. The author randomly decided to make him evil, apparently.

Edgeworth: And the spelling was simply atrocious. It’s clear the author was doing this on purpose, but that doesn’t make it look any less horrible.

Maya: It least the story was kind of credible… even if the author kept shipping me with… that… uh… thing…

Apollo: Let’s just agree that that was terrible and get out of here.

Sans: yeah… i need to make sure that my brother isn’t trying to capture your friend. but first… why don’t we all get a bite to eat? i know this great joint called “grillby’s”.

Edgeworth: That name sounds rather… unappealing… Do they have anything that isn’t fried?

Sans: uh… you could get a nice, healthy, tasteless salad. i think. they also have burgers, and stuff like that.

Maya: Count me in!

Apollo: I’m pretty sure this would break some kind of interdimensional law, but whatever.

Sans: cool. follow me. i know a shortcut.

[And so, the four sporkers departed to unknown territories! However, the journey is not over yet! Many more exciting adventures await, next time in the sporking theatre!]


Also, I had wanted to give Papyrus and Sans their actual fonts, but I couldn't figure out how to, so I didn't bother. Maybe if I find some way to, I can edit that in later.

Considering that was my first sporking, constructive criticism would, of course, be appreciated.
Vesti and Lauren's Interdimensional Investigations
This CYOA follows Vesti Gates and Lauren Tehra, two detectives who search for the truth, whether in their own dimension or otherwise.

Avatar from over here probably


Last edited by Planetbox on Sun Jul 03, 2016 2:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDecisive Witness Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:34 am
cuteyounggirlplus

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Just a quick heads up, Apollo doesn't refer to Phoenix as 'Nick'. Apollo calls him 'Mr. Wright' instead.

Good job for your first sporking!
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Tue Apr 26, 2016 1:37 pm
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TheGreatSnarkoo

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That was beautiful and I was cackling the entire time.
There was something a little off about Sans, though. I think that he came off as just a little too verbose?
Anyways, great sporking!
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good if I ever use Comic Sans, Arial, Times New Roman, Brush Script, Papyrus, Curlz, Ravie, et cetera."
Friends don't let friends use bad fonts.
Unironically, anyways.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineMedium-in-training Wed Apr 27, 2016 8:32 pm
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Planetbox

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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
Just a quick heads up, Apollo doesn't refer to Phoenix as 'Nick'. Apollo calls him 'Mr. Wright' instead.

Good job for your first sporking!


Yeah, I already knew that. I was intentionally having Apollo repeat the first part of Maya' line there, and forgot to change the way he referred the Phoenix too. Thanks for pointing that out!

TheGreatSnarkoo wrote:
That was beautiful and I was cackling the entire time.
There was something a little off about Sans, though. I think that he came off as just a little too verbose?
Anyways, great sporking!


That doesn't surprise me. I don't actually have any experience writing Papyrus or Sans, so it makes sense that I wouldn't get their personalities perfect.

Also, thanks for the compliments!
Vesti and Lauren's Interdimensional Investigations
This CYOA follows Vesti Gates and Lauren Tehra, two detectives who search for the truth, whether in their own dimension or otherwise.

Avatar from over here probably
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
OfflineDecisive Witness Fri Apr 29, 2016 1:14 am
cuteyounggirlplus

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Guess what I found on the kink meme! Here's a hint.

https://pw-kink-meme.dreamwidth.org/4088.html?thread=10279928#cmt10279928

http://bludhavens.livejournal.com/8191.html?thread=105983
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