Trucy?
Daddy?
Trucy..
Daddy?
Call me daddy
DADDY!
:D
:D

...I don't get it. ;_;

Good morning. I got the mail.

Thanks... oh, look at this. We got a letter from Godot.

Hey, Maruhodo.. Things are going fine here in jail. I wrote you because I suddenly remembered something... back when we were doing trials, I remember there was this bailiff called Ben, and you kept calling him "Stan". I just wanted to let you know, because I think it's really rude to forget other people's names. Peace out, Maruhodo. -Godot

---

One day, when Sal and Maya are surfing the internet together
h31! Lo0k @ these usernam3z!
Let's see...Mr. Perfect..that has to be 's ID...Lana_Skye..well, she does looks like the straight out type. Then...hey! I know! Let's see what Mr. Edgeworth's ID is..i'll search it... perfectprosecutor@me.com....well it's the result...
.....*gasp*
[Continue on your own]

---

tell me if you want more of this.

I have a MIGHTY NEED to use the restroom once again.

--

Why was there BACON IN THE SOUP?!

I MADE IT MYSELF!!

--

Wash, tell me I'm pretty.

Were I unmarried, I would take you in a manly fashion.

Because I'm pretty?

Because you're pretty.

--

While I'm making references;

--
Where did you come from? I didn't even see you out there.

First rule of battle, little one; never let the enemy know where you are.

WHOOO-HOOO! I'm RIGHT HERE! You want a piece of me?! YEAH YOU DO!! I'M RIGHT HERE! YEE-HAW!

Of course, there are other schools of thought.

---

Hey, Lamiroir. Do you want some matzoh?

What's that? (takes it) ... Who writes this crap?!

---

That was great

---

What does this look like?


That is wrong in so many ways!!!!!!!!

---

Argggh, I'm never going to be able to think of those smilies the same way ever again. Thanks a lot Dofa.

One (1) Cookie for whoever knows what show this is.

*Driving in his car with *
"AHH NO TURN LEFT!"
*CRASH*
"Oh shit, oh shit. Man, are you alright? You want a drink? Here, have some of this." *offers him a drink from his flask.*
"Ah... thanks. *gulp* Ahh... That's better. Here's your flask back."
...
"Aren't you going to have one yourself?"
"Sure. But I'll wait till after the police leave."

(Maybe short but stupid in so many ways)
: la la la!
*Kills with her whip
: Oh my god , she killed Edgy
: You bastard!

---

The Bearded People Club Meeting will now begin. Is everyone shaved appropriately?



OK, looks like we're all good. I think we made great progress here today. See you all next meeting.

---

* and are walking to the Courthouse*
*laughs evily*
Nice of the Judge to invite us over for a trial, gay Gumshoe?
I hope he made lotsa steak!
Gumshoe, look!
It's from Wright: "Dear Pefect Prosecutors: Maya and I have taken over the case. The defendant is now a permanent guest in one of my seven aquitals! I dare you to prosecute her if you can!
We've got to prosecute the defendant!
And YOU go to hell puss, pal!
If you need instructions on how to become a prosecutor, check out the enclosed bar exam.

---Meanwhile---

Gee, it sure is boring around here.
Mai girl, this painting is what all true lawyers strive four.
I just wonder what Dahlia's up to.
*flies in* Your majesty, Dahlia and he butterfiles have seized courtroom no. 3.
Hmm... how can Wii help?
It is written, only Mia can convict Dahlia.
Great, I'll jsut grab my Court Record!
There is no time, your finger is enough.
How about a kiss, for luck?
Yes...
*takes off* COFFEE! We're off!
Wow, what are all those heads?
THESE are the faces of the jury. You must convince them.
I guess I better get going.
HERE is the MASON System. *Opens it up* Where would you like to go?
-Later-
Join me Mia, I can make your badge the greatest in the United States. Or else you will lose!
*slaps Dahlia*
MMMMMIIIIIIIIIIAAAAA FFFFFEEEEEEEYYYYY! Not into the prison cell! IT BURNS!
*wakes Phoenix up*
Ah, why'd you do that?
I don't know!
Well done, Mia! Dahlia is once again imprisoned! CUM! Look, already the jury is returning to harmony! Lamirior is singing! Isn't it beutiful?
Channeling!
For it is written, you, Mia, are the lawyer of Trials and Tribulations!
I won!
Way to state the obvious...

*paints "Gant Says" on a wall from nowhere*
*paints over "says" and writes "swims", then electrocutes Lana*
Kids, there's nothing more cool than being touched by someone you like. But if I try to touch you in a place or way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's good.
It's your body! I have the right to touch you if you don't want me to! So what do you do? First, you say, "YES!" Then, you say, "OH, YES!" Then, you let me rape you.
Most important, you gotta touch someone you trust, like your parents, your teacher, a police officer!

---

Last edited by DramaticaXIV2 on Mon Jul 14, 2008 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hi, I'm Dr. Stiles, you may remember me from such surgaries as "Death awaits all" or "The Future of GUILT", or one of my ever popular 7 part box set, "The X Missions". I'm here to talk about "Trauma Center: New Blood". One of the complaints about my games is a LOT of GUILT missions. After chapter 2, It was all GUILT, except for that bomb, and the airplane. I'm here with Miles Edg-I-mean Markus Vaughn, and Fran-I-mean Valarie Blayloc.
* and enter, dressed as Vaughn and Blayloc.*
Hello, Stiles, as you know, we are the main Doctors for NB. Many people complain about a lack of Stigma operations, and that Stigma is wimpy.
What about 6-6 "signed in blood"? Two consecutive liver operations, each with Stigma? And the brain operations. Did YOU ever operate on a brain?
...No? but what about A-4?
What about it?
Kyriaki and Deftera, with immature Savato? It's insane. But many people would have prefered just a chapter that's GUILT, including *Savato 2 playing* mature Savato.
Fine, what were you trying to prove anyway?
Flaws of NB, now for a punchline...
AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *we see hee's being chased by giant forms of every GUILT*
I'll handel this! *Takes out laser*
END!

And I find that even more hilarious then it really is, especially considering that I use Derek to represent me in this topic. Anyways, now for something completely different.
----
(announcer) Next up on W-play: We are Alone in the Dark, we wish we had weapons and were meticulous in Siren, and our hosts show what happens when we put them into a paintball match. And now, he's a little bit country, she's a little bit rock and roll, your hosts Elias Bloodmoon and Trucy Wright.
Okay, why the hell did we get her as our announcer?
Because
Ah... another question. What does the W in W-Play stand for?
Wright.
Why not B for Bloodmoon or S for Stiles or something like that?
Do you want to sleep on the couch tonight?
No...
Good.
Anyways, welcome to W-Play, the show where we compliment good games, thrash bad games, and make fun of famous characters in games.
Hey, since you're in a video game character's body and I am a video game character...
...Wow, that's deep in a way...At least if we're having the same thought.
I was thinking how we could easily thrash ourselves.
Oh. I was thinking about how I could really go for some pizza right about now.
That does sound good. Maybe for lunch.
But anyways, onto our first review. Alone in the Dark!
----
When you think of horror games, you probably think of the big ones, such as Resident Evil...
Barry! Shoot that thing!
and Silent Hill...
Do I look like your girlfriend? My name is Maria.
But what really drew our hearts, souls, and minds into the survival horror genre was the original Alone in the Dark. Unfortunately, with three crappy sequals, our minds left Alone in the Dark to go to what we now think of. But now, Atari has revived the series. And, in a way, it's for the better. First thing you're going to notice when you get the Wii version, for that is the one that I played, is that you can blink. This feature seemed cool at first, but it kept me from seeing the entire beginning up until you don't have to blink anymore.
Oohhh, important plot point. I better see this. My vision's fogging up. *blinks, then blinks every two seconds just to keep vision clear.*
The next thing you're going to notice is the script writing, which has such brilliant, beautiful, kid friendly lines such as...
Where the f*** are we? Of course we had to follow that f***ing old f***'s f***ing advice, now f***ing look where the f*** we f***ing are! Oh for f***'s f***ing sake!
There is one thing the game prides in, and that is fire. The game uses fire brilliantly. Unfortunately, some of the places for fire puzzles are strange.
Okay, we have to get upstairs! But that part of the floor is on fire!
But the floor is made of stone...
Another major problem involves fire. The enemies can only be killed by fire. Therefore meaning that your gun is pretty much pointless. The only reason it's needed, fighting the bats in the ambulance, and using it to blow up the extremely hard to find propane tanks and molotovs. Therefore, the only other weapon you have is random beatdown weapons that you have to light on fire first, or your anaceptic spray and lighter. Unfortunately, one you run out of that, you can no longer cure yourself and will probably end up bleeding to death if you can't find a medkit soon. Another major problem is the driving. The driving controls suck on the Wii and even then the cars don't turn as tight as normal cars, nor can they drift, therefore making most scenes involving driving alot harder then need be. And last but not least, My major complaint... WHY IN THE HELL DOES CLOSING YOUR EYES LET YOU SEE HIDDEN OBJECTS!? I MEAN, REALLY WTF!? Basically, this game had many brilliant ideas. Unfortunately this game swung for the fences and ended up getting a foul ball instead. Other companies, take these ideas, but try to perfect them. PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU! So, we here at W-Play give Alone in the Dark 2...
F***s
Out of 5.
----
You know, when I was a kid, my ma made me play a game called Alone in the Dark. She made me play it if I got a B on my report card or if I wore the wrong belt. Thing is, it was a different belt each time. And only she knew which one was right. You were locked in the basement. It's dark. And you're alone.
*disturbed look* I think we're talking about different games.
Probably.
When we come back form commercial, we see rivers of blood in Siren.
I'll write the rest later today...

---

Today for Wax Poetic Hour, phoenix couldn't join us. Instead we bring you... This guy.

Hello old man in the mirror,
yes you, staring back from the walls.
Time has not been kind to you,
for example, take a look at your balls.
They hang like a loose, fleshy pendulum,
no longer tight, like so long ago.
These days they poke from my pant leg,
how did my balls ever get so low.
They used to be verile and hairy,
a scrotum of world renowned.
Now they're like two shriveled raisins,
made hairless from scraping the ground.
When I go to the gym to do cardio,
which I do every once in a while,
I must wear a jockstrap in the shower,
or my nuts will drag on the tile.
I once took a trip to Italy,
with my ball sack all bound up with tape,
till my invention came undone in a vineyard
and Lucille Ball stomped on my balls like a grape.
So the next time that you're looking downward,
and you see a sight that appalls,
don't step on it, don't touch it, don't pick it up,
it's probably just my balls.

...Sir, please leave. Now.

---

This is my attorney's badge.
Cool.
I'm sorry, Nick loves to show that.
So, what do you think about this?
I'm sorry. I'm only a mere cat. I've never seen that before.
Looks like we won't get anything.
(So he knows nothing...)
So, what do you think about this?
I'm sorry. I'm only a mere cat. I've never seen that before.
Looks like we won't get anything.
(So he knows nothing...)
So, what do you think about this?
I'm sorry. I'm only a mere cat. I've never seen that before.
Looks like we won't get anything.
(So he knows nothing...)
So, what do you think about this?
I'm sorry. I'm only a mere cat. I've never seen that before.
Looks like we won't get anything.
(So he knows nothing...)
So, what do you think about this?
I'm sorry. I'm only a mere cat. I've never seen that before.
Looks like we won't get anything.
(So he knows nothing...)
So, what do you think about this?
I'm sorry. I'm only a mere cat. I've never seen that before.
Looks like we won't get anything.
(So he knows nothing...)
So, what do you think about this?
I'm sorry. I'm only a mere cat. I've never seen that before.
Looks like we won't get anything.
(So he knows nothing...)
So, what do you think about this?
I'm sorry. I'm only a mere cat. I've never seen that before.
Looks like we won't get anything.
(So he knows nothing...)
HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THESE THINGS OR PEOPLE? AND WHY DO WE ALWAYS SAY THE SAME THING?
Mew?
And that's why investigation sucks.

---

-edit-

---

-actually, ignore this-

---

Last edited by DramaticaXIV2 on Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

My first attempt at a funny. Yes, I know it sucks. And it uses two old jokes plus three uses of "motherfucker" in the same sentence.



(Me) Hey, thanks for letting me stay here now that I have my own smiley.
Why are you even here to begin with?
Shut up, I'm the author of this funny. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Anyway, here's something you may like. *takes out a Mia/Lana hentai manga*
Edgeworth needs his alone time, now. *takes the manga and runs to the bathroom*
Now that I got him out of the way, time to find out who he is staying with.
*comes out wearing a towel* That was a great shower, Edgeworth! *looks around* Edgeworth?
(Goddammit, Edgeworth! If only I had a shock smiley!!!! You dare ruin an Ema fanboy's dreams? You are so motherfucking dead, you motherfucking son of a motherfucker.)

---

*holding cereal box* Apollo Justice sponsered by Apollo-os. They're Apollylicious.
Wait a minute, Apollylicious? Is taht even a word?
It lets the KIDS know that they're TASTY!
Yes, but "Apollylicious"? Are they meant to taste like Apollo or something?
Phoenix...
How exactly do you test something like that? I mean, besides the... obvious method.
Just. Say. The Line, you amateur.
Fine. Apollo-os. Apparently, they're Apollylicious.
Okay now where's my ****ing paycheck?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=RKPuzzBQV ... re=related

---

OMIGOSH EMAAAA!!! I LOOVE YOU!!
Shush you wierdo.

Daddy, I'm home!

OH FU- Trucy! Hey there!

Where are you? Are you busy! I need you to see something!

Yeah, I'm a little bUUUSY! (dammit, cool it for a second!) I'll be out shortly!

I need you to sign something! Apparantly I need a permit to use live flames on school grounds, and I need my guardian to sign it? You did get around to filling out the adoption papers, right?

Ummm, could you give me a second?

*comes to door* Are you in the back room? *opening*

NOOOOO! DON'T -"

*opened*

....

....

....

....

....

....

...

....w-what's this? Daddy, what's going on?

What the hell?! Phoenix Wright, when you said 'a lady in blue' would be coming, I didn't think it'd be THIS!!

That's my daughter!

Your DAUGHTER?! You called your DAUGHTER for this?!

NO! That was that manager from Blue Screens, not Trucy!

Aw, dam- IMEAN GOOD!

I-is that Mr. Hat?

Awwwwwkwaaaard.

---

Okay, I feel dumb for doing this but I am going to revive this topic. Sure it's been done a billion times without the wanted result but, what the hey. Now, before continuing W-play which I should have continued ages ago, I'm going to start a new thing.
Oh god... What is it this time?
I'm just going to do a short excerpt from what I call DEMON PROSECUTOR'S SING-ALONG BLOG.
A parody of Dr. Horrible staring me?
Yup.
*sigh* Fine. Let's do this.

Okay, now that that is done, let's continue W-Play
----
We have to great hosts on this show. And then we have Elias Bloodmoon and Trucy Wright!
*Eating pizza* Hello *Munch munch munch* and *munch munch munch* welcome *munch munch munch*back *munch munch munch*to *munch munch munch*W-play.
*Also eating pizza* I've *munch munch munch* been *munch munch munch* waiting *munch munch munch* to *munch munch munch* continue *munch munch munch* this *munch munch munch* for *munch munch munch* a *munch munch munch* while.
HEY! THAT'S MY GAG! *Pulls out AK-47*
AGH! *munch munch munch* NEXT *munch munch munch* REVIEW!
----

----
& *Hiding behind barricade. Trucy is wielding a shovel whilst Elias is wielding a compound bow*
Where did the compound bow come from.
Same place your shovel came from.
----
When we return to W-play, we see our hosts join a paintball team.

---

Hey Nick, why does your hat say 'Papa' on it?
So you'll know what to scream, babe.


Gah! I think... I think I just tore my eye out.

HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE!

---

Phoenix sing's Alice Cooper's "dirty Diamonds" to Redd White
Here's the actual song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI4K0xLKxYo

Start: courtroom in darkness

(start of song) lights come on, playing guitar (plays it where mentioned)

It looked so good, your perfect plan
You had to get greedy, to pay the man

(points) now you're holding the bag, paying the price

Gonna get burned by the heat of the ice

DIRTY, DIAMONDS
you rolled the dice, you bet your life ( sweating)
You put your trust in your trophy wife
Got stabbed in the back in the blink of an eye
(points) she's in bed with the boys and the FBI

Dirty , Diamonds
Blood soaked money in your shaking fist
Dirty , Diamonds
Stone cold killers and you're on their list

Ah, ah oh yeah

You're tied to a chair with a gun at your head
Your face is all smeared with the blood that's been shed ( redd about to freak out)
You were gonna be rich

now you're gonna be DEAD

And all that glitters turns to lead

Dirty , Diamonds
Blood soaked money in your shaking fist
Dirty , Diamonds
Stone cold killers and you're on their list
Dirty , Diamonds
Blood soaked money in your shaking fist
Dirty , Diamonds
Stone cold killers and you're on their list


Dirty , Diamonds


Dirty , Diamonds
Diamonds don't cheat
Diamonds don't lie
Diamonds are forever
Diamonds never die

Dirty , Diamonds
Blood soaked money in your shaking fist
Dirty , Diamonds
Stone cold killers and you're on their list
Dirty , Diamonds
Blood soaked money in your shaking fist
Dirty , Diamonds
Stone cold killers and you're on their list



Run for your life, you can't hide
Can't you hear 'em coming, you're gonna die
Run for your life, you can't hide
Can't you hear 'em coming, you're gonna die
You better Run for your life, you can't hide
Can't you hear 'em coming, you're gonna die
You better run for your life, you can't hide
CAN'T YOU HEAR 'EM COMING, YOU'RE GONNA DIE

SHOT DEAD

(end of song)

And the other 2 (spoilered for space)
Phoenix and Godot go to Trés Bien for coffee.

Where is everybody?
And where's Armstrong?
(Viola appears)
Uh, where's Armstrong?
Oh. he's lying down in the back.
Why?
He's not feeling very good. Must have been something he drank
Uh, ok
Hee...hee...hee....
would you like some coffee?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (both run out the door)
Deed it vork?
yep
good i am zee tired of their beetching about my coffee's flavor

And another

At the convenience store:

YES i finaly won!
What'd you win?
I finally won on the pick 3 lotto with my favorite number
Nice. What's your favorite number?
666

---

Last edited by Johnny Rotan on Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:00 am, edited 3 times in total.

If and were like Beavis and Butthead:

OBJECTION! heh heh, heh
Shut up Phoenix i'm trying to uh, explain something.
So uh, i have like, a de-sic-ive witness or something
well bring them out so we can get on with this trial
UH huh huh huh huh huh. you said get it on
no i didn't
WOAH check out the chick miles!

Woah. Hey baby. would you like me to, present my evidence? huh huh, huh
*WHIP*WHIP*WHIP*.....

during a court recess...

I came up with this video for it and put it on Youtube (shows Phoenix it on his cellphone)
Well?
Well, it's ok, but i've seen better
what, do you know how long it took me to sync it?
Well ,your syncing wasn't perfect i saw some misfires
SHUT UP! F*CK YOU! YOU F*CKIN' DICK! Always naysaying, everything i create, YOU PIECE OF SH*T! YOU CREATE SOMETHING! like inward singing. YOU F*CKIN' SH*T! You f*ckin' sit in your tower!
(starts laughing)
FU....what's funny?
(laughing)
YOU F*CKIN' DICK! F*CKIN' F*CK YOU!
F*KIN' COCKASS!

Got the blow up part from one of the Phoenix Wrong videos (i had to use it somehow)

---

Yay! forums are back! Homestar Wright... GO!

{singing over guitar music} I've been walking on clouds and flipping off rainbows, on the wiiiiings of an emaiiil...

{Cut to a wide view of the desk. is standing to the right of with a classical guitar. turns to face him.}

Thanks, man.

No prob, Bob.

{Cut back to the computer.}

subject: alternate univer$e

Dear edgeworth,
Got some ?'s for you:
1. What would you do with a hundred million dollars?
2. What would you do if you suddenly found yourself in
an alternate universe somehow?
Jody (not a girl), TX

{ says "question marks" for "?'s", and "Number one" and "Number two" for "1." and "2.", respectively.}

{says everything inside parentheses normally} Ya know, you could probably ditch that (not a girl) thing, if you just replaced it with something tough and cool and kool and tuff. Like (Bulldozer). Jody (Bulldozer). Nobody's gonna think that guy's a girl. {clears screen} Well Ms. Dozer, you pretty much answered question mark #1 {read "number one"} with question mark #2 {read "number two"}. Cuz a hundred million dollars is exactly how much The Cheat spent on our alternate universe portal.

{Cut to a wide view of the desk. The Cheat is standing to the right of the computer with a blender containing a Nintendo Game Boy.}

Isn't that right, Gumshoe?

No, just my year's salary.

What? This thing only cost us fourteen bucks?

M-hm!

Well... that's like a hundred million dollars in... dog years, right?

Yeah?

{leans towards suddenly} All right! Mash go on that blender!

{Camera zooms out a little as presses a button on the blender. The blender shoots out white bolts as the lighting in the room flashes. Soon after, the blender stops with the Game Boy intact, and there is a large swirl to the right of the desk.}

Oh-ho-ho! Swirly Photoshopped magic! I bet this thing could release some serious Cacodemons. So... { turns to face } What? I— I just jump in?

Yep!

{leaning backwards} Ohbee Kaybee! {jumps off the stool and towards the swirl} Jump!

{As soon as touches the swirl, everything except him and the swirl turns black and white. distorts horizontally and vertically, then "springs" into the swirl. Cut to a panel of a comic strip with a number of buildings drawn in it. A caption at the top of the panel reads "IN A BULDING..."}

NARRATOR: In a bulding...

{Camera shifts to the next panel, which shows an empty room. appears, with "VOIP!" appearing next to him briefly. While in the comic, everything says is also shown in a speech bubble.}

Whoa! Where am I?

{Next panel. man is in an action pose on a yellow background. Everything he says also appears in a speech bubble, and is not lip-synced.}

MAN: {in large red text} STINY! {normal text} We have a visitor from an alternate universe!

{Next panel. appears in the same room.}

{looking to the right} It's edgeworthman! And his well drawn abs! {looks to the left} But... why are we in a crappy apartment instead of a secret underground lair... {looks back to the right} ...filled with secret underground gadgets?

{Next panel. man is shown from the chest up in front of a blue background.}

MAN: Because mere mortal... this apartment...

{Next panel. man appears in front of a red background with his arms in the air. A thunderclap can be heard in the background.}

MAN: {speech bubble is large, yellow and pointy} ...IS RENT CONTROLLED! {next speech bubbles are regular} And... water's included.

{Next panel. A kitchen and bathroom sink are shown with the faucets running. The bathroom tap has the word "FROSH!" next to it.}

{offscreen} Is that why all your faucets are running?

{Next panel. man is standing in a room.}

MAN: {each syllable appears individually in red text and is not in a speech bubble} MU-HU-HA-HA-HAH! {regular speech bubble and text} Those dimwits down at the public works won't know what hit them!

{walking in from left} So, that's your evil plan? To waste water?

MAN: And not pay for it!!

I gotta tell ya, edgeworthman... this part of your comic is pretty boring. I'm gonna see what's going on further down the page. {jumps out of the current panel} Jump!

{He falls down three panels. There is a woman with a big knife sitting on a giant robotic snake.}

Oh! Now we're talkin'!

{Next panel. man is in the left of the panel, in the center, and there is a TV with the previous panel on it (minus ) to the right.}

MAN: You're not kidding!

Wha?

MAN: Now we have expanded basic cable...

{Next panel. Close-up of a cable running through a hole in the wall.}

MAN: {offscreen} Stolen from my neighbor!

{Next panel. is in front of a yellow background.}

Who's writing this issue? The geniuses behind She-Hulk? {looks up} gumshoe?

{Cut back to the Computer Room.}

{voice is slightly distorted, and a speech bubble appears from the swirl} A little frappe action, if you please.

K'

{ turns around and turns on the blender. Cut back to the previous comic panel. disappears with the same "VOIP!" with which he appeared.}

{Next panel. man is in the same pose as when he first appeared, but flipped around and with a green background.}

MAN: {in large red text} STINY! {normal text} Keep flushing those toilets!

{Cut to the Old-Timey stage. Old-Timey is standing on the stage with curtains behind him. To the left of him is a sign that reads "Edgeworth and his GOODE-TIME PARLOR TRICKS". An audience can be seen silhouetted at the bottom of the screen.}

OLD-TIMEY Yes, and for my next parlor trick, I shan't make anything {faces left} appear!

{ appears to the left of Old-Timey . He is still in color.}

Oh. H-hi.

OLD-TIMEY {crowd starts booing} You brightly colored baboon! You've ruined my vaudeville!

{The 's dance music plays as tomatoes are thrown at the two s.}

Ah! Shades of gray tomatoes!

{ disappears as Old-Timey looks to the left.}

{Cut to Vector floating above a vector field. appears to the right.}

What is up, my enormous vector brother?

{As Vector speaks, his words come out of his mouth in red vector-style text. They disappear after a short while.}

VECTOR HELLOTE.

So, uh... {cut to close-up of } what do you do for fun around here? {cut back to previous view}

VECTOR I SPLO STUFF UP.

{ jumps backwards slightly to avoid the "UP", which promptly explodes with vector graphics.}

Whoa, that's pretty cool.

{ walks in from the left.}

Hey, guys! How's challenges?

VECTOR WHAT IT IS MY DOGE?

Whoa, you two know each other?

{Cut to close-up of .}

{smiles} Oh, totally sure! {leans forward and waves one of his arms} He's my training simulator!

{Cut back to previous view.}

Check it out!

{Vector starts moving left and right, shooting squares from his mouth. jumps around and dodges the squares. also jumps over and around the squares, but appears to have more difficulty doing so. Game music from video games plays. After a few seconds, they all stop.}

Nice work, big nose!

Big nose?

Your nose!

VECTOR LEVEL 2

Uh-oh.

{simultaneously} Uh-oh.

{ silently laughs as Vector shoots a series of squares directly at . As they explode, disappears. Vector then shoots some squares at , which he dodges.}

{Cut to a field in the style of flashback. young is standing close to the camera. appears to the right. All text appears in a white rectangle near the bottom of the screen.}

NARRATOR And so, { starts looking around} both Edgeworths entered the 'Dig To China With Your Ears Contest.'

This is just about... the second or third to worst contest I ever heard of.

{Cut to a silhouetted view of the field. , , , and are standing to the right of a banner which reads "the contest began!!". young is underneath the banner.}

NARRATOR The contest began!

{Cut to a close-up of young rubbing his head on the ground near a line marked "start".}

NARRATOR And young rubbed his head on the ground... {cut to a wide view; is sitting on a hammock with his awesome sunglasses on.} while our Modern Day Hero maxed and relaxed.

{Cut to young standing near the camera again, as in the first shot. A hole is visible near the background, and a giant glass of root beer appears in the center.}

young I struck it rich!

NARRATOR Said Y.M.E.

{Cut to a zoomed out view of the previous scene, but with the giant glass of root beer in the center. The Fat Bee is seen holding 's hammock up.}

young A giant mug of frosty root beer!

{Old-Timey appears to the left in a bathing suit. Young looks at him.}

OLD-TIMEY Zounds! A sarsparilla swimming hole! Last one in's a freemason! {he half-runs toward the root beer and jumps in} Jump! {this last word does not appear in a subtitle}

{ disappears. Keyboard appears at the bottom left of the screen and dances while playing a tune.}

{Cut to a screen in the style of Puppet Stuff. Puppet is standing in front of the Edgeworthia fence. The Tire and Stop Sign are visible. appears to the right. Music starts playing and both s dance in sync with each other. After a moment, disappears again.}

{Cut to Edgewoooooorth's Enclosure. appears lying down on top of it. He slowly slides down, then disappears.}

{Cut to the abandoned factory from highschool. Teenage is standing to the right. appears to the left.}

TEENAGE Stripèd pants.

{ disappears. Cut to the interdimensional void, which changes colors constantly.}

{voice slightly distorted} Gumshoe!! Cool out on the liquefy button, man!

{Cut to a close-up of standing next to the blender in the Computer Room. The blender still contains the Game Boy, but now also contains a green substance. One and a half avocados are sitting on the desk, along with a jar that reads "Total Load". is pressing buttons on the blender.}

I'm trying to make me a real fruit smoothie here!

{Cut to a wide shot. young is standing to the left, with Senor Edgegage, Old-Timey and Edgewoooooorth to the right.}

Any of you guys got any bee pollen?

{As presses another button, appears next to the portal and man appears on the left side of the screen.}

phoenix! Quit messing with my alternate universe portal!

{slowly} I'm trying to replenish some electrolytes, if you don't mind!

{ presses another button on the blender. He and the portal both suddenly disappear, and cute appears on the desk.}

{looking around} Wow. Just look at all these Edgeworth-related faces. What an all-star cast! What say we all form a supergroup and record a number one jam!

{All of the clones groan.}

{off-screen, simultaneously with Old-Timey } I guess...

OLD-TIMEY {simultaneously with } If we must.

{The screen fades to black, and then cuts to in the recording studio. Some music starts playing, and continues through the rest of the e-mail.}

{singing} There's a crazy world of e-mails in this crazy world. {Cut to a reversed view of .} Checkin' 'em down, checkin' 'em down...

{Cut to standing next to man and Old-Timey .}

{singing} I hope it's from a girrrrrrrl!

{Old-Timey winces and looks toward on his last word. Cut to a zoomed out view of the scene, revealing (from left to right), , man, Old-Timey , , Vector , Keyboard , Senor Edgegage, Teenage , cute and young . man's words appear in speech bubbles next to him.}

ALL {singing} Save the last email for Edgeworth!

{Cut to Senor Edgegage at the recording studio.}

SENOR EDGEGAGE: {singing} Let the little childrens go.

{Cut to Vector in the field, which now has blue lines running above and below it.}

VECTOR {singing} I HOPE THEY DON'T A SPLODE

{Cut back to a panning view of all the .}

ALL s: {singing} Save the last email for Edge—

{Cut to Old-Timey in the recording studio just before "worth".}

ALL S: —worth!

OLD-TIMEY : Save the last email for Edgeworth!

{Edgewoooooorth fades in from the right.}

Edgewoooooorth {singing in a high voice with vibrato} Save the last email for meeeee!

{A comic panel with man in front of a green background slides into the upper-left corner toward the end of Edgewoooooorth's line.}

MAN: Save the last email!

{Cut back to a view of all the s. The camera slowly zooms out during 's line.}

: All my Edgeworth doppelgängers represent. Sesquicentenn-email, 2007. I-I mean eight.

{The music stops. The Paper comes down.}
Elsewhere...
{Piano music, fade in on holding a pear covered with eyeballs while black coffee continually streams down his mouthless face. Cut to a close-up of the pear with its eyes googling, then to another shot of the pear from behind with his arm raised higher. Then cut to a close-up of 's head. Fade via black to the original shot. appears next to .}
{subtitled, in a fake backwards-sounding voice} , if you're not going to eat that eyeball pear... {clears his throat, starts talking normally with no subtitles} I suggest you give it to someone who will.
{distressed} I don't know what's going on, phoenix, but I'm not at liberty to discuss what I just did in my pants!
Earlier...
{Senor Edgegage is sitting in a boat on a lake, holding a stick with fishing line tied to the end, hanging over the side. appears in the boat.}
Wow, a fishing trip with Senor Edgegage! My life is complete.
SENOR EDGEGAGE: Alonzo Mourning to you, Myrtlebeth. Say hello to my tacklebox. {holds up said tacklebox}
Hello there, tacklebox. {smiles} I'm such a big fan.
SENOR EDGEGAGE: Well, if you could just sign right here on the dotty line, the adaption will be complete.
You're gonna adopt me?
{ disappears}
{offscreen and echoing slightly} Aw, man!

That's better , some new stuff. i don't wanna hog this thread. let's see some funnies.

Phoenix decides to try his Andrew Dice Clay immitation in court:

while we're waiting check this out
what?
Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet. Eating, her curds and whey. Along came a spider, sat down besider and said hey, what's in the bowl bitch?

Jack and Jill went up the hill both with a buck and a quarter, Jill came down with 2.50.

Little boy blue. he needed the money

(at April) Mary Mary quite contrary trim that p***y it's so dam hairy
( grins)
Jack be nimble, and jack be quick. Jack burnt off his little d**k

Old mother hubbard went to the cupboard, to get her old doggy a bone. She bent over, ROVER took over. She got a bone of her own i don't know.

Was that parodies of some nursery rhymes or something?
Yeah. good ol' Mother Goose remember her, i F*cked her.
PENALTY!
Oops.

---

... Can I take a screencap of this and use it? 'Cuz it's hilarious. D:

A-Anyway, this one's derivative of something that happened. Gavin's talking about his dog, Vongole. Spoilers for mid 4-4.

---

So a certain epic Code Geass scene made me think of 4-3. :P

---

"Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney?" I'll just pop this into my DAS, and... New Game...
This scene is only to show that I did it, even though it's painfully obvious.
Gee, I sure am nervous around here...
PHOENIX MAH BOI! SRSTalkSRSTalkSRSTalkSRSTalk...
You know, my face is up here...
Imma kill myself, lulz.
TRIAL TIME! R DE LAWYER GUYZ READY?
YES!
I THINK!
K! FOR TUTORIAL PURPOSES, I'll just ask the defence questions, because I left my Court Record in the toilet.
NO.
VICTIM R TEH SLUT. CALL DEFFY TO DA STAND.
Now that you said that, I'll re-kill her.
Even though he had no motive at the time of murder, that's good enough for me. NXT WITNESS.
KILLERGUY
LOLCAPS
IT R B CLOCK
Imma point my giant finger, it r b statue
WIMPJECTION! It r b clock.
He no know.
I LOST!
NOT GUILTY!
So what is this funny trying to prove?
That Dramatica can make an abridged AA without pissing people off.
Imma still kill myself lulz.
How about dinner so I can die?
*SOME TIME LATERZ*
DIE BUSTY GLORY DIE
LOLDEADSIS
Chief? CHIEF!? CCCHHHHIIIIEEEEFFFF!
ZOMG A MESSAGE! This be written by a victim and pointing out a murder, not a loved one! U R ARRESTED!
NNNNOOOO!
Should I take your case, or...
GO SEE LAWYER FIRST OH AND GET CELL PHONE KTHXBAI
I can has autopsy report?
K. BTW, there be witness.
Hey Mr. Lawyer, is that a statue/clock thing in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Actually, it's my GIANT FINGER!
Oh... rigghhtt... BTW, don't steal that drawer.
Oh hai, Mia's understudy. I no defend sister.
I've... been abandoned... Why don't I have any better smilies?
Shut up with the emo music, I'll defend you.
COURT IN SESSION. U ARE ALL READY, SO GET GOING.
U GET WRONG REPORT
DAMN MORE CAPS
CALL WITNESS
CAN WE PLZ STOP STARING AT MISS MAY'S CHEST
No.
WHAT BOUT ALIBI
HAY HERE TO TESTIFY THAR BE ANOTHER MAN
IDIOT
INVESTIGATION
HE BLACKMAIL ME WITH PAINTIN'
You CAN has thing.
HAY U DID IT DIDN'T YOU
WHY THAR ALL NEW TESTIMONY
GLASSSTAND FALL OVER
U no see.
I place wiretap.
Hey Nick, take this evidence.
EVIDENCE! I'M NOT SURE WHAT!
YOU NEARLY LOSE
Take some more evidence.

NNOOOO!
NOT GUILTY!
*MORE LATERZ*
STEEL SAMURAI - COOL FOR 10 YEAR OLDS! HAY POWERS GOT ARRESTED!
Y HALLO THAR!
Jesus Christ... GET IN THE CAR!
We don't have a car!
Go 2 studios.
What are you doing here? Oh, you kids these days, you and your Nintendo DSes and your Phoenix Wright and your-loud-music-and-your-tampons-and-your-Machi-Tobaye-and-your-Chuck-Norris-and-you
I no grow up like that, K?
Mebbe. Hey, look, a photo.
This is my only smilie, K? Oh, and I don't serve the plot in anyway.
This photo shows Powers!
No, suit.
TRIAL TIME!? READY!?
YEAH! OLDBAG, TAKE DA STAND!
Edgey, it R powers he limping! Oh, and there were other people there.
INVESTIGATE!
That was the shortest trial day ever.
Excuse me gentlemen, what would you happen to be doing here?
SCRIPT PLZ.
Hang on, I'll just get off my somewhat lazy backside and get it for Dee Vasquez.
ROAD BLOCK ONLY POWERS CAN DO IT GOD CAPCOM LOVE TIME-SPEAKING CLOCKS
K ALL I SAW IT
OH NOES NO MORE LEADS
Phoenix, I have a plan.
1. Find boy.
2. Make him talk.
3. ????
4. Profit!
K!
HEY AS A KID I PERVERT I CAN HAS CARD
Please trade
K.
TRIAL
NO BREAK BREAK NO BREAK
I move away from the mic to point my GIANT FINGER
HEY NEW WITNESS I ERASE SHOTS 'CEPT ONE OUTSIDE STUDIO 2
MOAR INVESTIGATION!
You know, why is there no grammar here?
By the way, Hammer killed some person 5 years ago. Oh, and this is the best track in the game. Save here.
I BE TAKING PHOTO
OH NO YOU DI'NT!
Why didn't she just ask?
TRIAL!
I had Sal take me to S1.
With a body that you changed the outfit on?
Yeah, he has quite a large one.
OI!
Nobody remembers the rest, so NOT GUILTY!
*LATERZ*
ZOMG EDGEY ARRESTED FOR MURDER!
I'M SANTA!
EMO DL-6
DRAMATICA CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH THE REST OF THIS CASE
Hey, Phoenix? Remember that card you traded with Cody? Maya had it anyway. Sorry. :3
*laters*
All of a sudden, you can examine evidence 3d, which you will forget until Apollo Justice!
This shit is not canon, I'm gonna be in Trauma Center instead.
...?

---

and a few others are helping put together a fundraiser concert. They go to a radio station to talk about it on air. And the DJ is who's took a temp. job

Ok we have with us now Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth to talk about a benefit concert they and several others are putting together. So what's the scoop boys?
Well we're putting on a big concert at the Peoples park
Uh huh?
it's gonna be a great party
uh huh?
we've got some great bands coming
uh huh?
like the Gavineers
uh huh?
and we just want to remind everybody there's still plenty of tickets left
uh huh?
but that's no reason to wait until the last minnute
uh huh?
it's, just a chance for the city
mm hmm?
to... do.. something....
uh huh?
fun
uh huh?
to put the city on the map
mm hmm?
it's a lot of work
oh well huh huh work is hard
you're not really listening to me are you?
uh huh
i mean i could say anything right now like, you're a complete tool
mm hmm
but you wouldn't hear it because, you're a freak with a microphone!
uh huh?
this is not even challenging anymore, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Isn't that right sphincter boy?
uh huh, what, oh! (gunshot sound) the're getting closer all the time. allright very good information about the concert coming up we'll be back with more right after pig sports.

after they leave
God that guy's a douchebag
no shit


Can you guess which movie this is from?

---

This is my first funny, so It's not going to be very good... But here it is...
Revenge of the Minor Characters!
Written by Pearl the Barrister
Good Morning everyone.
GOOD MORNING EDGEWORTH.
Today I will sit and do nothing while sipping Earl Grey tea nonchalantly- WHAT'S THAT?
It's a horde of minor characters coming to eat us alive!!!!!!!!
(Horde approaches. It consists of

.
I say we head for the hills!
No. They'll catch up to us too fast!
I don't care! (Starts running, too slow,
devour him.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Which of us will be next?
( is missing)
Kristoph's gone!
No, he went off with (kissing noises can be heard nearby).
(surprised) Oh.
Maya's missing!
SCREEAAM!!!! AAAAAAUGH!!!!!!
Oh no, got her!!!!!!!!
AAAHGHghhghg... (voice trails off...)
Hey, only I can do that....
Which of us is next?
We Want Pearl! We Want Pearl!
Oh no!
Sacrifice Pearl!
Hey, where did you come from! HEY GS4 MINOR CHARACTERS! COME EAT ALIVE!
WE WILL EAT YOU HOBO HODO! AND THEN WE WILL EAT PEARL TOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
(:hobohodo: are eaten)
OK, so were eaten alive, and "disappeared."
What next?
WHAT WAS THAT?
A grenade!
EXPLOSION
( are gone)
Will there be no end to this torment?
TAKE THE JUDGE! TAKE THE JUDGE!
They want his blood! I say we sacrifice the old man!
Agreed!
What?
(:devasque: get the judge)
Let's go hide!
( go to hide under a rock)

: It looks like they are all gone.
Let's go create our own new game: Minor Characters Rule!

:YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
: I think it should be April May Rules!
(SILENCE)
:Whatever.
(:meekins:
leave)
Finally it is safe.
(:godot: comes out of nowhere)
It's a good thing I survived by impersonating Director Hotti.
(:garyuu: and appear)
Did I miss anything?

THE END
Tune in next time for the action packed sequel!

---

Last edited by Pearl the Barrister on Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sings Tracy Bonham's song Mother mother
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK0GgLKUU_I
(again i'd like to actually do a video of this. I've listened to the song while looking at the animated sprites here and it's perfect)



And how about and singing "My Humps"? (only did part of it):


EDIT: These funnies have been superseded by this video:
http://bestonvideo.com/play.php?vid=180

---

Last edited by Johnny Rotan on Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Cheech and Chong's Sister Mary elephant / Sgt. Stadanko

ready

---

And now for....

THE LAW SCHOOL GRADUATE
typeset by Pearl the Barrister

Setting: Outside the Courthouse, on R. Street

Hello Friends.

I am now a bailiff!

I am too!

Squee!!!

Ah... bailiff? Ah used to be 1 of those...

appear out of nowhere.

Hello, Odoroki.

WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME THAT???

Hi, Polly!

Hello, Apollo.

Hello, Herr Forehead... -purrs- ..... you look sexy today...

Mr. Gavin, are you trying to seduce me?

WTF!!!!

I object to Mr. Justice's statement!

I just get in the way!

Why am I here!

Objection overruled, Mr. .

You all stink!

(sedan drives up and quickly leaves)

Where's Apollo?

He went off in that sedan!

APOLLO's BEEN KIDNAPPED!!

: AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WAS KLAVIER!!!

Nonsense!

No prosecutor would ever drive such a trashy sedan with gold plated rims and a bathroom, with 300 seats!

About that....

No time for chit-chat! Chip chop Chip chop!

Why should we go after and ???

Because I said so! (WHIP)

(everyone gets into Franziska's limo and drives off)

AT KLAVIER'S HOUSE....

So, Herr Forehead.... how are you?

Why am I here again?

So we can do it.

This is rape I'm calling my lawyer!

do you have one?

...

Hmm... crap.

Here you go, Mr. Justice.

What the is this?

I'm your lawyer. Here is a 15000 bill.

Do I even have 15 cents? You're dead anyway!

Exactly. (fades away.)

Whatever shall I do?

Make out with me?

Sure.

( Klavier and Apollo kiss )

Door gets broken DOWN by LISA BASIL.



What the-

KLAVIER AND APOLLO ARE MAKING OUT?

Why are you concerned? Do you have FEELINGS for Apollo?

FOOLISH FOOL!

Yeah?

Um, there's a problem at hand!?!?

(KLAVIER and APOLLO stop kissing)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YEAH!

What the freak are you doing MAKING OUT!

Scandal! Romance! Former Gavinners member making out with male attorney!

WTF!

Hmm, yes...

THE END

---

I know this is awful, but I couldn't resist...

Hey Greg, if you could go back and live your life again, would you do anything differently?
Well, for one, I would have always taken the stairs.

---