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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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i feel pretty

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This isn't as much something our teacher said as it is something they've done, but one of our teachers has managed to hack every computer in the room, and keeps switching all of our classmates computers off or shutting down thier programs. The funny part is that the only students that know about this are me and one other. So the rest of the class is just bloody oblivious.
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SHINing key~kayfaradaylove.

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Brendan2k5 wrote:
I am a Kindergarten teacher so maybe I should talk about what some of my students have said that made me LOL.

The one at the top of my list right now belongs to one of my current students. Every morning when he comes in and every afternoon before he goes home he says to me "Why you don't care about nothin'?" or "You Don't care about nothin'!"

The first time he said that I laughed out loud, said "I'm sorry you feel that way.", corrected his choice of grammar and then
gave him extra homework =D



hang on. you give your KINDI KIDS homework? if i remember correctly i...i didn't get homework till year 2 x3 well she didn't say anything, but the sub P.E teacher keeps her phone in her bra. we think.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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i feel pretty

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kazzy wrote:
Brendan2k5 wrote:
I am a Kindergarten teacher so maybe I should talk about what some of my students have said that made me LOL.

The one at the top of my list right now belongs to one of my current students. Every morning when he comes in and every afternoon before he goes home he says to me "Why you don't care about nothin'?" or "You Don't care about nothin'!"

The first time he said that I laughed out loud, said "I'm sorry you feel that way.", corrected his choice of grammar and then
gave him extra homework =D



hang on. you give your KINDI KIDS homework? if i remember correctly i...i didn't get homework till year 2 x3 well she didn't say anything, but the sub P.E teacher keeps her phone in her bra. we think.

A freind of mine found her phone there once, after it went missing for 3 days.
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SHINing key~kayfaradaylove.

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Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
kazzy wrote:
Brendan2k5 wrote:
I am a Kindergarten teacher so maybe I should talk about what some of my students have said that made me LOL.

The one at the top of my list right now belongs to one of my current students. Every morning when he comes in and every afternoon before he goes home he says to me "Why you don't care about nothin'?" or "You Don't care about nothin'!"

The first time he said that I laughed out loud, said "I'm sorry you feel that way.", corrected his choice of grammar and then
gave him extra homework =D



hang on. you give your KINDI KIDS homework? if i remember correctly i...i didn't get homework till year 2 x3 well she didn't say anything, but the sub P.E teacher keeps her phone in her bra. we think.

A freind of mine found her phone there once, after it went missing for 3 days.


...hang on, WHAT?!? it was there for 3 days?!?
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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lol boobs.

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Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
A freind of mine found her phone there once, after it went missing for 3 days.


...Does that mean she didn't change clothes for 3 days?
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i feel pretty

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.•°٭blinq٭°•. wrote:
Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
A freind of mine found her phone there once, after it went missing for 3 days.


...Does that mean she didn't change clothes for 3 days?

No, it just means that she has GIANT breasts.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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Moving on up!

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Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
This isn't as much something our teacher said as it is something they've done, but one of our teachers has managed to hack every computer in the room, and keeps switching all of our classmates computers off or shutting down thier programs. The funny part is that the only students that know about this are me and one other. So the rest of the class is just bloody oblivious.


There is actually a program (probably several actually) that lets a teacher or administrator monitor all the computers in a classroom or computer lab. You can freeze the screen with it so that you may close programs and applications that aren't appropriate for use in that classroom. You can also use it to write on the screen to tell a student to stop what they are doing. It's really fun to mess with them because they don't know how you are doing it half the time.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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i feel pretty

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Lunaria42 wrote:
Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
This isn't as much something our teacher said as it is something they've done, but one of our teachers has managed to hack every computer in the room, and keeps switching all of our classmates computers off or shutting down thier programs. The funny part is that the only students that know about this are me and one other. So the rest of the class is just bloody oblivious.


There is actually a program (probably several actually) that lets a teacher or administrator monitor all the computers in a classroom or computer lab. You can freeze the screen with it so that you may close programs and applications that aren't appropriate for use in that classroom. You can also use it to write on the screen to tell a student to stop what they are doing. It's really fun to mess with them because they don't know how you are doing it half the time.

Yeah, that's the one. But we didn't have it until recently, and he's the one who programmed it.
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Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
Lunaria42 wrote:
Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
This isn't as much something our teacher said as it is something they've done, but one of our teachers has managed to hack every computer in the room, and keeps switching all of our classmates computers off or shutting down thier programs. The funny part is that the only students that know about this are me and one other. So the rest of the class is just bloody oblivious.


There is actually a program (probably several actually) that lets a teacher or administrator monitor all the computers in a classroom or computer lab. You can freeze the screen with it so that you may close programs and applications that aren't appropriate for use in that classroom. You can also use it to write on the screen to tell a student to stop what they are doing. It's really fun to mess with them because they don't know how you are doing it half the time.

Yeah, that's the one. But we didn't have it until recently, and he's the one who programmed it.

We got one, called NetSupport.

And our geog teacher said that there was too much brown on someone's work. Cue my childish giggle.
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My S.S. teacher, remarking on the stupidity of one whom I refer to as 'the village idiot':
"Do you listen slow, or are you just plain slow?"
"No, 'insert name here'. Aliens came down and destroyed them."
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NOW TAKE IT TO THE LAUNCH PAD!

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Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
.•°٭blinq٭°•. wrote:
Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
A freind of mine found her phone there once, after it went missing for 3 days.


...Does that mean she didn't change clothes for 3 days?

No, it just means that she has GIANT breasts.


...The level of awkwardness is over NINE THOUUUUU-*shot*
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What does the scanna say aboot 'is mini-chlorion level?

Ah... um... well... Nothing new.
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:lana: me :gregory: bio teacher

:lana: *emailing asking about coursework*
:gregory: *emails back* (biology joke!) there is redundancy in the system as they say and this is the reason why (me asking about cw and people will have double checked anyway) - just like in DNA triplet codes ;)
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Okay, this was more of an action than a quote, but whatever.

In my history class, we got to do presentations on the history of anything we wanted to. (I did TMBG, 'cause...I'm me.) Two kids, Matt and Alexis, teamed up to do a presentation on the history of MTV. After the presentation, the teacher, Ms. Firenzi, suggested that we all watch a relevant video.

Someone suggested Baby Got Back.

She accepted this, and proceeded to play it on the projector where EVERYONE IN THE CLASS COULD SEE IT.

I guess you had to have been there, but it was pretty hilarious when it happened. :/
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My english teacher read half of Oedipus the King in his "Monty Python" voice. Who knew that a man stabbing his eyes out could be so funny?

Also, in my first day of Geology class...
Teacher: Okay guys. *Drops a big rock on her desk* This is a rock. We learn about them. Know what else we learn? *Grabs a big steel hammer and smashes the rock to bits* Any questions?
Me: Do we get to make rock candy? (Yes. I was a Senior in high school and I asked a teacher about candy ololol)
Teacher: ...*Tosses a piece of the rock onto my desk* Bon apetite.
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>_> Oh dear, all you high school kids(I ass|u|me) make me feel old. At 20. Lawd.

But in chronological order, funny things my teachers have done <_<

Once in my senior English IV Class, our teacher convinced us to act out the last scene of Hamlet in the classroom. She wanted props, and we did not have any. She promptly dug in her cabinet in the room, and produced not props, but a squeege and a clothes hanger. So, we reenacted the last scene of Hamlet with cleaning tools and laundry accessories.

She also snuck us all out to go to McDonalds one time. Which was neat because it was first period <_< Catchin' tha' breakfast wave, man.

Then my... uh, second semester of college, I had a Audio/Visual teacher that had been in the radio business forever. And every time we'd end a class, he'd say, "Alright class, after these messages we'll do [such and such lesson because I paid zero attention]!" We all lawled.

<_<;; And... well, I had a history professor that was a little more than getting senile, but he was still fun(This was the same dude that kicked me out of a final 'cause I was sick, in a good way, actually didn't let me take it XD). Well, we were going over Vietnam I think? And he comes out and says:

"I was in Vietnam, so you guys know. And we never saw any Vietnamese people. Well, except this one kid. We liked that kid! He was awesome! We gave him candy, and soda, and snacks... -- ...And ciggarettes and beer. We were bad people."

XD And I had my highschool math teacher as a college algebra teacher. After class one night, she was ranting about how the highschool was being run and whatnot, and all of a sudden, she points at me and goes "OH GOD! Your father is on the school board, isn't he!? Don't tell don't tell don't tell don't tell~~" <_< The superintendent was(is) kind of a tyrant.

<_<;; I sort of told my dad that she told me NOT to tell 'cause it was HILARIOUS.
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Your friendly, neighborhood eccentric =]

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High school.. women's choir class [[10th grade, I believe???]] ...It was amazing.

One day, there was a vocal clinic with one of the college's music intructors.. When we were warming up, the instructor basically told the class to "pretend there's a meat hook in your chest" ... mainly to expand our lung capacity... or something like that... The meat hook thing pretty much haunted me ever since.... :coffee:
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this is from my astronomy class

Teacher: This is a quasar. See that big spear-like thing of dust going through it? I like to call that an interstellar fart.
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Darling Dream wrote:
In my science class, we were discussing the difference between H2O and H2O2, and this is what our teacher said:

"When you drink water, you are happy. When you drink hydrogen peroxide, it burns and you die."


Sounded like something from Dr. House. :yogi:

And some of my teachers might be funny, but they don't say jokes THAT funny. XD
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My Chemistry teacher almost always says this, in a very sarcastic way (she loves to see us suffer):

"Come on, cheer up. This is THE BEST THING that can happen to you at 8:30 AM".
Yes, I do have Chemistry everyday at 8:30 AM...
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I art Teacher once told me he was scared to death of me. His exact words were "I do not trust you with anything sharp" :gant-jazz:
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Our gay Research teacher was doing a roll call, and he would say the letters of the alphabet and it went like this

ABCDE...............TUVWXXXYXZ

He thought the XXX would go unnoticed, we were laughing hard for about 2 minutes
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Violin teacher - "You can move onto the fingering next week!"

I must have nearly pulled a muscle trying not to LOL, I'm so fucking childish. -_-


Rain Faraday wrote:
My Chemistry teacher almost always says this, in a very sarcastic way (she loves to see us suffer):

"Come on, cheer up. This is THE BEST THING that can happen to you at 8:30 AM".
Yes, I do have Chemistry everyday at 8:30 AM...


I'd so rather have Chemistry than work at 8:30am D=
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Here's a piece of wisdom from my gym teacher...
"You know it's going to be a bad day when you are dropping a deuce and there is no toilet paper."
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On the last day of class:
Student: Are you gonna cry?
Teacher: No... I cry in August.
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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It's not really something he said, but more a happening:

We were watching some kind of movie, and my friend sitting next to me was really into it. Our kickass teacher was sitting behind us, and touched her back for whatever reason (He wanted to say something, or something. We don't really know.) but my friend didn't saw it coming AT ALL. So in a reflex, she turned around and hit him xD

And everyone in class was like: "..WTF JUST HAPPENED?"

The teacher was cool with it, my friend felt soo embarrest and appogized at least 20 times xD
It's a memory I hold close to my heart xD
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One time my teacher was standing on a table. So were around 3 other students. Table was really wobbly. They all fell to the ground.
:U
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We were hanging in an english classroom because it was raining, and the teacher was in there looking up university courses for us. (because we're so cool.)

He clicked on one for somewhere in cornwall and started moaning.

"No, you don't want to go there, *name* it's so far away. See, even the computer's taking hours to get there. (computer being slow) See, we're stuck in traffic...lorry overturned...tyre flat...hoarde of gypsies herding cows across the road..."

It was probably funnier at the time. XD
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:hobohodo: Me
:javado: Teacher
:wellington: Kid in class, (think white Nigerian)

*At the start of an IT lesson*

:wellington: Eats packet of crisp, *munch* *munch* *munch* *munch*
:javado: What are you doing, are you eating in a lesson,
:wellington: No, *crisp are below his chair*
Goes back to eating *munch* *munch*
:javado: Then what are those
:wellington: Well I found them
:javado: So why are you eating them in an IT classroom
:wellington: They’re nice
:hobohodo: So can’t you share them then?
:javado: It’s an IT class room
:wellington: Goes out aside the classroom and continues eating them
:javado: ' :wellington:' you’re late, if you’re late you can’t come to the lesson so I am shutting the door.
:beef: Forced to come inside and put the crisp away
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Because it's much funnier out of context:

"You're talking abotu a man giving birth and enjoying it?"
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i feel pretty

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Less a quote, more an event:

For my video project, i'm doing a mock trailer to a Phoenix Wright movie. I asked one of my teachers to play Edgeworth, as he has a bizzare case of man-moe. He refused. I explained:

:will: : Oh come on! He has fangirls!
:garyuu: : Fangirls?
I procceeded to show him The Edgey Fanbase.
:garyuu: : .........
:garyuu: : *runs*

And he literally RAN. Like, out of the class.
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Lind_L_Tailor wrote:
Less a quote, more an event:

For my video project, i'm doing a mock trailer to a Phoenix Wright movie. I asked one of my teachers to play Edgeworth, as he has a bizzare case of man-moe. He refused. I explained:

:will: : Oh come on! He has fangirls!
:garyuu: : Fangirls?
I procceeded to show him The Edgey Fanbase.
:garyuu: : .........
:garyuu: : *runs*

And he literally RAN. Like, out of the class.


*bursts out laughing*

Why, he doesn't want fangirls like us??

...:gun:
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OK, we have had two weird ass teachers.
The first was my tutor for two years. His name was Mr Repacholi.
Kid: Hello Mr Ravioli!
Him: Are you disrespecting my manhood?

Head: Why are you smiling Mr Repacholi?
Him: I'm teaching Year 7's sex ed last period.

"I'm pulling out my big guns now!"
"There's a hot young sailor in the classroom."
"Were they your man friends?"
"I'm not your pack mother!"
Plus he drew this island on the board which looked like... A male naughty part. A lot.

Then, we had a temporary teacher for three weeks called Mr Maythem.
"There's a reason why Ruth goes into boy's bedrooms in the middle of the night and does naughty things to them"
And that is completely in context.

He drew a male naughty bit on the board when we were studying rockets. (Un intentional, but hilarious)
He set us homework to find the average swing of a male golfer.
He taught the wrong subject for half of the first lesson.
He told me off for answering a question too long.
He sent someone out of the classroom after they tripped over.
He spent the last lesson talking about how he only did the job for the money.
He refused to believe someone's surname was "Van Heer" and sent him to the head.
And he got fired in the end. =D
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Two week break!
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and the plot thickens

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^
you guys made my day haha these are so funny

mine are probally not as funny as your guys but whatever it might get a giggle or to

Spoiler:
6-8th grade art class ( probally one of the most honest/funniest teachers ever he retired last year though happy retirement teach) :gant: =teacher
:gant: = "alright now i know you guys are young and immature but if anybody calls me gay i'll hit them with my purse"
:gant: = " i remember one time we were facing the elks and these two girls wrote a sign that said beat those horny elks please like I don't know what horny means"
:wellington: :hotti: =*teenage boys talking about sex or something around that topic suprising no?*
:gant: = will you to stop talking about sex once your married you can have it all the time it's great.....sometimes

:hotti: =8th grade social studies teacher
This is more of an action but :hotti: was opening up a file on his computer but it was a attached to a projecter so we could all see it anyway he went to his documents and there was this file called "Britanny spears photo's ;D" yes the smiley face was there the whole class was like akwaaaard

:hotti: = why yes i find pocohauntes pretty
:hotti: = yah that *inserts crazy science and math teachers name* can be really scary some times (the funny thing is that there now dating *shudders* he was married to)

:hotti: = "hey mia look i just got this big mistake eraser lets take your picture by it"
lol i guess that's what i get for talking or sleeping his entire class

:chinami: = the evil science at math 8th grade teacher i'm so glad i didn't have her but my best friend did
:chinami: = so how are you guys enjoying valintines day
:adrian: = *sigh*
:chinami: = well Iii enjoyed my valintes day last night
:adrian: =0_o

Wow and that was in middle school

:grey: = freshman english teacher i just call him barry
:maya: =me
:adrian: =abby
:lana: =courtney

:grey: = "I use to wrestle once one time i had to wrestle this guy and he was like a greek god sparkling in the sun"
:maya: = *giggles* barry do you have a wife
:grey: = yes i have a wife and she's thinks i'm great well when the shoe fits anyway
:maya: *shudders* what does that even mean you creepo
:adrian: = *cracks up laughing*
:grey: Whaaaat???

:maya: = barry i don't understand what were suppose to be doing here i mean look at these words jack i clearly a name
:lana: =can you just tell us the answers
:grey: = no look i'll help you look up jack *turns page* here it is "george was blowing his jack"
:lana: :maya: = hahahahahahaha >v<
:grey: = you guys are a bunch of perverst *walks away*
(the funny thing is i'm actually know to be really innocent like the last person to catch on to a perverted joke)


wow that was really long haha there are a lot more just can't think of them right now
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Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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Gender: Male

Location: Ireland

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:12 pm

Posts: 352

Well most of my teachers arent funny except for my Science teacher, Geography teacher and Home EC teacher.

Science..

Mr S talking about history teacher to class "That man is a genius!" *Principal walks by* "I'm suprised he's still here in this shithole wasting away good lord that man should be lecturing in college instead of this god forsaken hellhole"

Mr S to student that pissed him off- "I will tear off your head and take a shit down your neck!"

Mr S to student that pissed him off- "I will kill you then raise you from the dead and kill you again!"

Mr S when telling us to turn to the chapter in our text books on the female reproductive organs "Now men I know this might be exciting for the immature bags of horomones that you are and that is understandible because I know that this is the closest any one of you will get to a clit"

Mr S *talking*
*teacher walks into the room unexpectidly*
Mr S "OH FUCK!" "jumps out open window*
But he was okay we were on ground level.

Mr S talking to french teacher Miss G
G "Do you know how old I am!?"
S "I cant count that far"

Finally one day Mr S kept back a few of the guys that should have been in Miss G's class so they could finish a project so G goes to S to give him hell.
G "BLAH BLAH BLAH"
S *not listning*
G "AND AFTER I PUT MY HEART AND DETERMINATION INTO--"
S "But you dont have a heart"
G *speachless*
S *turns back to students that he kept back* "*tells them how to continue the project*"
G *storms out of room and slams door*
SILENCE
S "Thank fuck! I thought I would have to drive a stake through the bitches heart to shut her up"

GEOGRAPHY

Mr H explaining the importance of metal in the tertiary sector while the class is talking "Metal is used for many things from the metal that makes door handles to the metal that makes up the legs in your chairs to the METAL PLATE THAT WILL BE IN YOUR HEADS IF YOU ALL DONT SHUT UP!"

HOME EC

Miss K explaining pregnancy to the female half of the class "Now girls when you find that you are pregnant after your spouse has manhandled you and stuck his tiny knob into you you should give up on all life because when the pregnancy test shows positive you are well and truly fucked"
She was so happy when she said it.

Miss K "A baked cake is like killing your husband because the end result is always nice"


Also my technical graphics teacher jumped around on the desks with a T-square (long wooden stick used for marking out plans) pretending to be a jedi.
Nothing.


Last edited by antonis on Fri Jul 03, 2009 5:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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Captain Ascot and the Survey Corps!

Gender: Male

Location: Scotland

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:16 pm

Posts: 845

:maya: =physis teacher
:larry: = guy in physics class

:maya: stop talking about irrelevant things, you!
:larry: we're talkign about physics, miss!
:maya: well, don't!
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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TIN PIN SLAMMER TIME!

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Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sat Apr 25, 2009 5:09 am

Posts: 82

This is the email that my humanities teacher sent to my class.


the one day that I don't come into school and they decide to close it!
We didn't even get to have our last, last lesson and enjoy the
imaginary snacks and soft drinks that I was going to describe to you.
I had even though up a great excuse for not bringing them (better than
the ones that you use for not doing your homework - don't think I
don't know - Nobody's computer crashes every week!!!)

Keep in touch, be good, take care, recycle, be nice to your parents
and each other, eat your fruit, don't go to MacDonalds, be happy and
enjoy life.
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Please don't let my dragons die.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase

Gender: Female

Location: Sweet Home Alabama

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:48 pm

Posts: 1689

book__wyrm wrote:
don't go to McDonalds



that's great advice right there. McDonald's is bad. bad bad bad bad bad.

they don't even use real food, they use chemical concoctions.

The more you know
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Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
Re: Funny things your teacher has said?Topic%20Title
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Anything from the shop? Cornetto.

Gender: Male

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2009 11:51 am

Posts: 451

My ICT teacher's quote:

Come here, come here, come here, SHUT IT.

XD LOLOLOLOLOL NOOB LOLZ

DICHE EN BORGINIA!

Sorry- random mindgerman
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Why must you insist on killing my mother over and over again? ~Irving Onegin
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