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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:38 am
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Yaragorm

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

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Mike Christiansen wrote:
You should see the burns, man. Molten plastic does not create a sensation on the skin until 2 to 5 seconds after contact, which means you can easily get a 3rd degree burn as the stuff burns on your hand, reaching the expected 800+ degrees of a petroleum byproduct. Fortunately, all the plastic I've fucked myself up with has been simply melted, not ignited.

This includes my pinky getting burned on Monday. As a note, Nestle water bottles are NOT good targets for naphtha fume burning. On that note, Right Guard deodorant burns at well over 1000 degrees. In fact, I daresay 1100 degrees.

Point of reference: Aluminium melts at 1220 degrees Fahrenheit. The stuff began to oxidize and parts melted, though I'm sure this had more to do with the alloy used. When burning Right Guard, be sure to flamethrow your lighter. :lana:


....good to know... :gregory:
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:54 pm
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PurplePoctopus

Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase

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Posts: 1689

My 6th grade science teacher was busted for looking up girl's skirts twice and he didn't get fired.

He also told a girl in my class not to wear sparkly lipgloss because then everyone would knew who she kissed.

And he gave me a giant beanie baby one day. *shudders*
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Fri Sep 25, 2009 10:03 pm
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Pierre

Gettin' Old!

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Location: Scotland

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Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:30 pm

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KlemaFan16 wrote:
My 6th grade science teacher was busted for looking up girl's skirts twice and he didn't get fired.

He also told a girl in my class not to wear sparkly lipgloss because then everyone would knew who she kissed.

And he gave me a giant beanie baby one day. *shudders*


The second and third offences don't seem too bad to me.

But given the first offence I can see why the third offence would be bad.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Fri Sep 25, 2009 10:40 pm
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Yaragorm

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Greek mythology...pretty adult stuff there...like with Oedipus...

And apparently The greek god Apollo had many male suitors...very traumatizing stuff for an ace attorney fan... :snackood:
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:29 pm
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Pierre

Gettin' Old!

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Yaragorm wrote:
Greek mythology...pretty adult stuff there...like with Oedipus...

And apparently The greek god Apollo had many male suitors...very traumatizing stuff for an ace attorney fan... :snackood:


You think Oedipus is gross? Read the story of the minotaur.

But I always knew the Greek gods were absolute whores and jerks it's kinda desensitised me to the stories I've heard.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:40 pm
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Yaragorm

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

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Herr Blondie wrote:
Yaragorm wrote:
Greek mythology...pretty adult stuff there...like with Oedipus...

And apparently The greek god Apollo had many male suitors...very traumatizing stuff for an ace attorney fan... :snackood:


You think Oedipus is gross? Read the story of the minotaur.

But I always knew the Greek gods were absolute whores and jerks it's kinda desensitised me to the stories I've heard.


I have read it...
For some reason, beastiality is less gross to me than incest... :beef:
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineMedium-in-training Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:16 am
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Mike Christiansen

I'm the one who's supposed to say that!

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Posts: 391

I can deal with incest. Whatever. But bestiality...

I'm going to tell a joke. You may laugh, you may not.

A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to have her baby. She successfully gives birth to a healthy baby boy. But, something's amiss. The doctor decides to ask the woman a few questions.
"Ma'am," he says, "This baby is, well... Black."
"Yes," she replies, "I was in the pornography industry for a few years. There was, a, uh, black guy involved."
"He's also got really narrow eyes."
"Well, there was also that asian..."
"And he's blonde," he says to the brunette in front of her.
"And the surfer..."
"Well, as long as you're clear, ma'am," he says. He spanks the baby and it starts crying.

"Oh thank God," the woman says.
"Why?" the doctor asks.

"I thought the little bastard was gonna bark!"
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:20 am
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Yaragorm

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Gender: Male

Location: CA

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Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:26 am

Posts: 4993

Mike Christiansen wrote:
I can deal with incest. Whatever. But bestiality...

I'm going to tell a joke. You may laugh, you may not.

A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to have her baby. She successfully gives birth to a healthy baby boy. But, something's amiss. The doctor decides to ask the woman a few questions.
"Ma'am," he says, "This baby is, well... Black."
"Yes," she replies, "I was in the pornography industry for a few years. There was, a, uh, black guy involved."
"He's also got really narrow eyes."
"Well, there was also that asian..."
"And he's blonde," he says to the brunette in front of her.
"And the surfer..."
"Well, as long as you're clear, ma'am," he says. He spanks the baby and it starts crying.

"Oh thank God," the woman says.
"Why?" the doctor asks.

"I thought the little bastard was gonna bark!"


(O_O)
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Sat Sep 26, 2009 10:06 am
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Bohrok

You wake one, you wake them all.....

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Posts: 29

VeryHappyTaffy wrote:
Bohrok wrote:
KlemaFan16 wrote:
A used, CLEAR condom in the stairway at my school.

Then finding a white substance in the other staircase.

When I was in high school, we found a used full condom in a classroom.

Also, we once had a school-wide "pick up trash" thing the week after prom, and I was lucky enough have to pick up someone's condom that they had used on the picnic table at the elementary school. :larry:


At elementary school?. Did someone get ganted or something?

They were located at an elementary school, but it was high schoolers that did the deed.
On top of where the school kids eat. :beef:
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sat Sep 26, 2009 12:59 pm
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PurplePoctopus

Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase

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My friend and I had a conversation on how much of a whore Zeus was.

:ema: (me) : So.... Who did Zeus do?
:lana: (my friend): No Carly. The real question is, Who didn't Zeus do.


But last night, I had a dream that I was in the Hunger Games (which is an awesome book and everyone should read it) and Ron Weasly (from Harry Potter) got his arm chopped open, so Gale (from the book) and I had to go find the magical snowy owl, and... we had to get its... Male stuff, to cure Ron, and so I ended up having to be the one to please this magical owl, and at one point, one of my best guy friends showed up, and I was yelling at him to do it because, "He gets so little action that he must know how to do this" and yeah...

And when I did give this stuff to Ron, Plankton from Spongebob took over Bikini Bottom and caused the entire ecosystem to collapse.

Yes... It was a weird dream.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineMedium-in-training Sat Sep 26, 2009 1:17 pm
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Bruce Goldberg

Weeeeeee!!!!!

Gender: Male

Location: Back to making donuts and slides everywhere...

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:16 am

Posts: 488

This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sat Sep 26, 2009 1:44 pm
User avatar
Pierre

Gettin' Old!

Gender: Male

Location: Scotland

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:30 pm

Posts: 14363

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!


Thats horrible....

But damn that was unethical of you to refuse to treat her :zenitora:
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You thought you could be safe in your courts, with your laws and attorneys to protect you. In this world only I am law, my word is fact, my power is absolute.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sat Sep 26, 2009 1:51 pm
User avatar
PurplePoctopus

Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase

Gender: Female

Location: Sweet Home Alabama

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:48 pm

Posts: 1689

*brings out the House valley girl take Quotes*

:ema: That's like, Totally Unethical
:whip: I don't even know what that F--King means.
Image

Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sat Sep 26, 2009 4:27 pm
User avatar
Yaragorm

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Gender: Male

Location: CA

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:26 am

Posts: 4993

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!


..... :lana:

I was gonna yell at you for sharing such a horrific story...but I WAS warned...

So this is why my sister never wears tampons... :lana:
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Life's a Happy Song when there's someone by your side to sing along!
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineProsecutor Sat Sep 26, 2009 5:12 pm
User avatar
Orange

For your entertainment~ ♪

Gender: Female

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:16 pm

Posts: 682

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!

Yea, one of my friends told me that you can get some kind of toxin infection thingy if you leave one of those things in too long.
But, yea, definitely a "CANNOT UNSEE" moment there.
Image
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sat Sep 26, 2009 5:21 pm
User avatar
Jean Descole

The cape is self-fluttering

Gender: Female

Location: The Bostonius

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 10:00 pm

Posts: 2859

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!


...yeah, that's pretty bad. Aside from certain contraceptive or medical devices, I'm not sure why anyone would think it's fine to leave a foreign object inside the body for more than nine hours, let alone nine months. If I recall, there are warnings on the box to not do that sort of thing, or risk toxic shock syndrome. I'm not sure if that's what happened there (I'm no doctor), but I'm also surprised she's not dead.

Now I have a cruel urge to gross someone out. I must link someone to your story. I must.
"Descole? You don't mean Mr. I-Like-to-Wreck-Things-with-Mechanical-Monsters-and-Dress-Up-as-Posh-Ladies Descole?" -Emmy Altava

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...NAILED IT
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:24 pm
User avatar
PurplePoctopus

Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase

Gender: Female

Location: Sweet Home Alabama

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:48 pm

Posts: 1689

That story reminds me of something my Orthodontist's assistants were talking about one day (they have the best stories when they think that you're not listening)

So, one of them was trying to help this old lady get her dentures out, and when they finally pulled them out... there were maggots and gunk all stuck in the roof, and her mouth was all decayed. Why? She had used.... a piece of bologna to cushion the dentures.
Image

Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sat Sep 26, 2009 7:52 pm
User avatar
Louise

Gender: Female

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:11 pm

Posts: 7882

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!


That is the most disgusting fucking thing I've ever read. I really want to puke ;__;
Imagesee how it withers before my flower of justiceImage

Image
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:57 pm
User avatar
Bohrok

You wake one, you wake them all.....

Gender: None specified

Location: Mata Nui

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 10:09 am

Posts: 29

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!

Holy shit! I was eating as I read this.
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Image
Made by Nadindi. Thanks!
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Sun Sep 27, 2009 3:23 am
~love-n-light~

^WHAT IS THAT WRIGGLING PIECE OF PLYWOOD

Gender: Female

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:52 am

Posts: 18

Yaragorm wrote:

And apparently The greek god Apollo had many male suitors...very traumatizing stuff for an ace attorney fan... :snackood:

not really :hotti:
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sun Sep 27, 2009 3:47 am
User avatar
Yaragorm

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Gender: Male

Location: CA

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:26 am

Posts: 4993

~love-n-light~ wrote:
Yaragorm wrote:

And apparently The greek god Apollo had many male suitors...very traumatizing stuff for an ace attorney fan... :snackood:

not really :hotti:

(o_0)
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Life's a Happy Song when there's someone by your side to sing along!
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineMedium-in-training Sun Sep 27, 2009 3:49 am
User avatar
WittyVitale

Sig made by Vicki, Avi made by PA :D

Gender: Female

Location: Vermont, USA

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 4:48 pm

Posts: 329

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!


...Sir, I think you just won this thread. I... my god, I think my brain died as I was reading this, I can't seem to form any coherent thoughts on the subject...
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~My PW Oneshots~My PW Multi-Chapter fic~My WordPress Blog~
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sun Sep 27, 2009 4:33 am
User avatar
Judgemaster64

The master of Judging 64

Gender: None specified

Location: The Courtroom

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2007 6:19 pm

Posts: 1063

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!



I wonder if she had any dead fetuses inside her.
Image
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineSuspect Sun Sep 27, 2009 8:00 pm
User avatar
Bohrok

You wake one, you wake them all.....

Gender: None specified

Location: Mata Nui

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 10:09 am

Posts: 29

Judgemaster64 wrote:
Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!



I wonder if she had any dead fetuses inside her.

When talked about birth and afterbirth, I thought that was the case at first.
I was horrified.
i'm still horrified, but to a lesser degree.
Image
Made by Nadindi. Thanks!
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineMedium-in-training Sun Sep 27, 2009 9:52 pm
User avatar
Mike Christiansen

I'm the one who's supposed to say that!

Gender: None specified

Location: In Texas (Where they shoot you for that)

Rank: Medium-in-training

Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:33 am

Posts: 391

Man, this puts that Jackrabbit I just found in my dad's CD-ROM drawer to shame.
Image
Avast! It's Pirate/Matey Day!
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineProsecutor Sun Sep 27, 2009 10:11 pm
User avatar
DerekAMW

Rebirth

Gender: Male

Location: Ontario, Canada

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:47 pm

Posts: 936

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)




I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!


Yeah sadly some women in society feel the need to be disgusting and not show common sense or have any regard to not gross people out to that extreme extent. I don't blame your probationer.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Sun Sep 27, 2009 10:33 pm
User avatar
Johnny Rotan

You've been hit by, a smooth prosecutor

Gender: Male

Location: Somewhere you're not

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:07 am

Posts: 3394

Bruce Goldberg wrote:
This...

Spoiler: Don't even read unless you can take it. I'M THAT SERIOUS
(DISCLAIMER: Right. You were the ones who asked for this. I take no responsibility for you feeling ill, throwing up, or whatever. This story contains graphic descriptions of an infection of the most disgusting kind. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

And remember…..personal hygiene is your friend.

Proceed at your own risk.)



I was working with a brand new probationer one night (why do shit jobs always happen at night???). It was the same ol’ crap, job after job. Sore tummies, sore heads, blah blah blah, so it was no surprise to get our next call to a “PV bleed” (medical abbreviation for ‘per vagina’).
There really isn’t much to it with these cases, except to monitor blood pressure, skin perfusion, level of consciousness etc. We rock up outside the address, which was a festy, dingy block of flats out in South West Sydney. The place stank. All of these units seem to have the same stale smell, in every flat! Rubbish in the stair wells, cat shit all over the place, old mattresses on the front lawn and driveways. It really is a ghetto!
I knocked on this lady’s door, only to be greeted with a gruff “doors open ”.

What I saw next was enough to make me want to leave immediately .

There, amongst the filth of a cockroach infested cess pitt that some may call a “lounge room”, and perched up on the lounge, was this manky, grimey, nauseating, hairy, greasy 52 year old woman, naked from the waist down.

*starts to feel sick*

Her legs were spread open for all and sundry to see, exposing what could only be best described as an oozing, swollen, red, inflamed, purulent mass of reproductive organ, that seemed to be harboring the most vulgar infection known to man. Suffice to say, her hygiene habits weren’t the best either. The dirt under her toenails could have filled a small pot. The cat hair stuck to the bottom of her feet could have clothed three homeless kids. I could go on, but.........anyway. Back to the story.

She stank! The vile stench of body odour filled the room, and immediately infected our nostrils and clothes. You could feel the smell in the air. It was heavy, and you just knew with every movement and breath, that this stuff was infecting every part of you body.

YUCK! I felt dirty. Infected !

She started droning on about not changing it soon enough, and now it hurts.

“What on earth are you talking about” I said.

With that, she reached down and grabbed something which I hadn’t yet noticed amongst the ooze and slime of her purulent pussy. A string. MY GOD, NO! It could only mean one thing, and her next comment confirmed my worst nightmare.

“I put it up there 9 months ago, and now it won’t come out” she squirms.

GAH!

(Note to all women: Change your tampon daily....... frequently......PLEASE)

Jeezus. 9 whole months to fester away in the warm, wet, infection harboring environment that every germ loves if left free to roam. It’s surprising it hadn’t killed her yet.

She began to tug hard on the string, her face grimacing with pain. I yelled out, trying to make her stop, but she just kept going and going, as if intent on removing the foreign object.

Then, as if Murphy and his bloody laws were ever present, it happened!

Just like a champagne bottle being popped (but it wasn’t champagne), out it comes. Dangling from the end of the string…..a slimy, dripping, infected, 9 month old tampon that had spawned a life of its own.

Now, common obstetrics will tell you that with every birth comes………..

*cue the music*








AFTERBIRTH .


That’s right my friends. Out of this gaping, infested hole poured this fluid. Not just any fluid either. Ooozing lumps of pussy, slimy fluorescent greeny yellowy infection. Enough to fill a cup. OMG, the smell! It would put middle eastern chemical warfare to shame.

My poor probationer gasps, gags, and proclaims disgust. “f**k”. My sentiments exactly!

An angelic look of relief came across her face, as if she had just found her own private nirvana. “Ohhhhhhhh. That feels goooooood” she moaned.

“OK” I said quickly. “You won’t be needing us anymore”. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. My probationer stood grounded, and in shock. “What about the patient” I hear him exclaim. “f**k the patient” I said. “There’s no way that thing is getting in my ambulance”!

I see him nod agreeing from down the hall. “See your doctor in the morning madam”, and with that, he was hot on my heels.

As for the smell, it took hours to get the smell out of the car, carried in via our clothes. I destroyed my uniform (incinerated) and ordered a new one. Never again did I go to that address. I had contingencies in place to remove me from duty if her number ever came up again, but fortunately for me, it never did.

Never again do I wish to encounter such a vile and horrific display of puss and slush.

This is a promise I have kept!


Few things turn my stomach.
But this did :scratch: I don't feel very good right now.

Mine is nothing compared to that.
2 days ago i went outside and to my suprise (because he isn't the type to go after his food) found my cat eating a small rabbit on the patio. He had blood splattered on his paw and his neck.
Oh well it's just nature's population control :godot: .
ImageImageImage
Comics updated 12/12. Projects updated 9-5. Fanfic updated 11-4. sprite thread 6-2
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineProsecutor Sun Sep 27, 2009 10:38 pm
User avatar
DerekAMW

Rebirth

Gender: Male

Location: Ontario, Canada

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:47 pm

Posts: 936

I recall in Grade 9 in the Reproductive Health unit of Physical Education that a reproductive specialist from our county came in and played STI (Sexuall Transmitted Infections) Jeporady. (I need to know how to make a game like that) Anyway we were split into two teams and we had to answer the questions and some of the questions contained photos of actual infections in the reproductive area. From warts on the vagina to painful Gonorrea liquid coming out of the penis. I found it to be quite interesting and hoped my classmates got the message not to have sex until marriage.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:28 am
User avatar
Yaragorm

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Gender: Male

Location: CA

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:26 am

Posts: 4993

My 9th grade health class sex ed....

I actually was an inncocent fellow, knew not much about the mature side of life...

That changed my life...it doesn't go near that post from before, but it seemed very traumatizing at first...especially the video with a woman giving birth...
Image
Life's a Happy Song when there's someone by your side to sing along!
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineProsecutor Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:32 am
User avatar
DerekAMW

Rebirth

Gender: Male

Location: Ontario, Canada

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:47 pm

Posts: 936

Yaragorm wrote:
My 9th grade health class sex ed....

I actually was an inncocent fellow, knew not much about the mature side of life...

That changed my life...it doesn't go near that post from before, but it seemed very traumatizing at first...especially the video with a woman giving birth...


Tell me about this traumaitzation if you can please? I like to study this subject matter quite a bit.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:46 am
User avatar
PurplePoctopus

Experimental Hydroxyacelunodosetrase

Gender: Female

Location: Sweet Home Alabama

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:48 pm

Posts: 1689

Was this particular video called The Miracle of Life?

Because we watched that in 8th grade science. And it was disturbing. Especially the 'penis cam'.

In middle school, whenever anyone asked a teacher anything remotely risque, they would reply, "That's 8th grade science!"

And then when I did get to 8th grade science... We had to do this thing called a 'body book' where we made a book with all of the systems in the body.

And we had complete diagrams of the reproductive organs, and we had to explain reproduction.

And then I found it last month in my mother's drawer. I still don't know what she was doing with it...
Image

Carly. 19. Ravenclaw. Hell's Belle.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineProsecutor Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:00 am
User avatar
DerekAMW

Rebirth

Gender: Male

Location: Ontario, Canada

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:47 pm

Posts: 936

KlemaFan16 wrote:
Was this particular video called The Miracle of Life?

Because we watched that in 8th grade science. And it was disturbing. Especially the 'penis cam'.

In middle school, whenever anyone asked a teacher anything remotely risque, they would reply, "That's 8th grade science!"

And then when I did get to 8th grade science... We had to do this thing called a 'body book' where we made a book with all of the systems in the body.

And we had complete diagrams of the reproductive organs, and we had to explain reproduction.

And then I found it last month in my mother's drawer. I still don't know what she was doing with it...


Wait. We watched The Miracle Of Life in 9th Grade Science during Biology Unit. I recall where the sperm is exiting the penis and ejacuating. I also recall where the woman is giving birth and the baby is born with all the liquids and blood coming out and surronding him/her.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:07 am
User avatar
Yaragorm

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Gender: Male

Location: CA

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:26 am

Posts: 4993

Platinum Skye wrote:
Yaragorm wrote:
My 9th grade health class sex ed....

I actually was an inncocent fellow, knew not much about the mature side of life...

That changed my life...it doesn't go near that post from before, but it seemed very traumatizing at first...especially the video with a woman giving birth...


Tell me about this traumaitzation if you can please? I like to study this subject matter quite a bit.

Spoiler: Ah, the NSFW innocence of childhod...
I thought penises and vaginas were only for peeing...

I thought the stork feeds mothers a special pill that gets them pregnant and that the baby comes out of the belly button........

I thought sex was just holding each other making out. Clothes on...

I thought that all this time, my mom was wearing diapers because women have red pee...

I thought that when the penis gets erect, it means a boy has to use the bathroom....

Most sex jokes did not make sense...

For god sakes, I didn't even know about breastfeeding!!!

I was at my babysitter's house and looked through her drawers because I was bored, and saw a dildo with a condom on it... it had a vibrating button too...I thought it was a pickle superhero action figure.......
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineDecisive Witness Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:14 am
User avatar
Miyako Chinatsu

Gender: None specified

Location: I forgot

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Wed May 27, 2009 12:54 pm

Posts: 277

Yaragorm wrote:
Greek mythology...pretty adult stuff there...like with Oedipus...

And apparently The greek god Apollo had many male suitors...very traumatizing stuff for an ace attorney fan... :snackood:


He did? I don't remember that...
Image

Credit goes to the lovely Purple Angel for the sig, and the wonderful TheBaronAndEma for the avatar~!
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineProsecutor Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:21 am
User avatar
DerekAMW

Rebirth

Gender: Male

Location: Ontario, Canada

Rank: Prosecutor

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Yaragorm wrote:
Platinum Skye wrote:
Yaragorm wrote:
My 9th grade health class sex ed....

I actually was an inncocent fellow, knew not much about the mature side of life...

That changed my life...it doesn't go near that post from before, but it seemed very traumatizing at first...especially the video with a woman giving birth...


Tell me about this traumaitzation if you can please? I like to study this subject matter quite a bit.

Spoiler: Ah, the NSFW innocence of childhod...
I thought penises and vaginas were only for peeing...

I thought the stork feeds mothers a special pill that gets them pregnant and that the baby comes out of the belly button........

I thought sex was just holding each other making out. Clothes on...

I thought that all this time, my mom was wearing diapers because women have red pee...

I thought that when the penis gets erect, it means a boy has to use the bathroom....

Most sex jokes did not make sense...

For god sakes, I didn't even know about breastfeeding!!!

I was at my babysitter's house and looked through her drawers because I was bored, and saw a dildo with a condom on it... it had a vibrating button too...I thought it was a pickle superhero action figure.......


Well your mommy and daddy must have done a good job not telling you about their happy time till you would need to know all those details. It's generally awkward, back when I was 9 I found it weird about all these bumps and hair that were growing around my penis until I read a book.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:22 am
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Yaragorm

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Miyako Chinatsu wrote:
Yaragorm wrote:
Greek mythology...pretty adult stuff there...like with Oedipus...

And apparently The greek god Apollo had many male suitors...very traumatizing stuff for an ace attorney fan... :snackood:


He did? I don't remember that...

It's what my english teacher said....
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineDecisive Witness Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:24 am
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Miyako Chinatsu

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Yaragorm wrote:
Miyako Chinatsu wrote:
Yaragorm wrote:
Greek mythology...pretty adult stuff there...like with Oedipus...

And apparently The greek god Apollo had many male suitors...very traumatizing stuff for an ace attorney fan... :snackood:


He did? I don't remember that...

It's what my english teacher said....


I only remember the myths where Apollo fell in love with nymphs (most of which got turned into trees).

But that's about it, I think.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:33 am
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Yaragorm

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Miyako Chinatsu wrote:

I only remember the myths where Apollo fell in love with nymphs (most of which got turned into trees).

But that's about it, I think.

Yeah, those too. Like most of the greek gods, he liked to 'get around'.....
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineMedium-in-training Mon Sep 28, 2009 4:34 am
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Mike Christiansen

I'm the one who's supposed to say that!

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I never watched such a video. My 8th grade science class was the equivalent of Integrated Physics and Chemistry, 9th grade was Biology and never delved into sexual reproduction (Except in plants and fish. I now know what a Stamen is), and 10th grade is chemistry.

I will say, though, in 5th grade, that AIDS video lady was really dead-set on telling us not to have sex. "If you don't want AIDS, don't have sex!"

Not that any of us necessarily gave it a thought. It was stupid! And, it's not like any of us didn't know what all sex was, depraved as that sounds.

It occurs to me that I still have the little deodorant stick they passed out to all the little boys for the puberty video. GAWD, 90's VHS TAPE WITH BLUE AND WHITE CROSS-SECTION PHALLUS WILL NEVER, EVER ESCAPE MY MIND.
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Re: Weirdest/Most Awkward/Scarring thing you've ever found?Topic%20Title
OfflineAce Attorney Mon Sep 28, 2009 5:20 am
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Yaragorm

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Gender: Male

Location: CA

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Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:26 am

Posts: 4993

Platinum Skye wrote:
Well your mommy and daddy must have done a good job not telling you about their happy time till you would need to know all those details. It's generally awkward, back when I was 9 I found it weird about all these bumps and hair that were growing around my penis until I read a book.

weird, I still don't have pubic hair..... :payne:
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