Crack Theory Thread!

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:09 pm

Jesus and the Oldbags - cosmic beings from the same source.

JesusMonroe · Post by **JesusMonroe** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:11 pm

Why, thank you

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:53 pm

Oh dear me. This is getting more and more absurd.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:02 pm

That was the intention.

Klonoahedgehog · Post by **Klonoahedgehog** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:15 pm

Godot is the ancestor of the teacher from Megaman starforce.

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:41 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:That was the intention.

Oh, you!

And now to something completely different:

Spoiler: AJ

Nearavex · Post by **Nearavex** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:49 pm

Spoiler:

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Mon Jun 30, 2014 12:15 am

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Other crack theory that I actually wrote a fic about: there is more than one Wendy Oldbag. In fact, we've never met the same Oldbag twice. They are all identical old women who were never young and can never die. The Oldbag collective is a cosmic force older than time itself.

Oh, and they all love Edgeworth.

You do know what you're implying, don't you? This suggests that there is an entity greater that that of the monotheistic God himself: His Mother.

And by which she tails after Edgeworth as if he was the chosen grandchild seems to suggest something else; that he's the one and only Jesus Christ of the AA-verse. He was resurrected as how only the Son of God could possibly be resurrected, complete with amazing theme.

Therefore, we come to the conclusion that Gregory Edgeworth, as the Father to the Holy Son, is God of the AA-verse.

Thank you for reading.

P.S. Do recall that the oldest case in the timeline of this series is the IS-7 case, that is, Gregory's final case before he transcended His mortal coil. Proof enough for ya?

TheDoctor wrote:Alright, so one of them broke his chin too. Either that, or their development cycles were just different enough to where their chins might be constructed differently.

Unbelievable, Doctor. Surely you jest? The Father to the Holy Son could not possibly break His nose or chin, and nor would he allow His Son to have His nose or chin broken. It is but a trick in the eye of the beholder.

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 12:37 am

Nearavex wrote:
Spoiler:
Actually, that somehow makes more sense when it comes to not only appearance, but also personality.

The only problem is that Valant's love for Thalassa seemed to be unrequitted. Headcanon ~~adopted~~ applied for adoption paperwork.

Spoiler:

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 12:41 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: You do know what you're implying, don't you? This suggests that there is an entity greater that that of the monotheistic God himself: His Mother.

And by which she tails after Edgeworth as if he was the chosen grandchild seems to suggest something else; that he's the one and only Jesus Christ of the AA-verse. He was resurrected as how only the Son of God could possibly be resurrected, complete with amazing theme.

This is a screwed up mindblowing rigmarole and there should be university courses and tons of books on the subject. I am impressed.

...apparently impressed to double post for the second time today.

TheDoctor · Post by **TheDoctor** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:00 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
TheDoctor wrote:Alright, so one of them broke his chin too. Either that, or their development cycles were just different enough to where their chins might be constructed differently.
Unbelievable, Doctor. Surely you jest? The Father to the Holy Son could not possibly break His nose or chin, and nor would he allow His Son to have His nose or chin broken. It is but a trick in the eye of the beholder.

I'm sorry, but there is a clear contradiction in your testimony. If the Father to the Holy Son is incapable of breaking his nose or chin, explain how von Karma was able to end his life with a mere bullet!

Besides, I looked it up. Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright were born as part of the Les Enfants D'avocat project. I sincerely doubt it's possible to clone a god. =P

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:02 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Other crack theory that I actually wrote a fic about: there is more than one Wendy Oldbag. In fact, we've never met the same Oldbag twice. They are all identical old women who were never young and can never die. The Oldbag collective is a cosmic force older than time itself.

Oh, and they all love Edgeworth.
You do know what you're implying, don't you? This suggests that there is an entity greater that that of the monotheistic God himself: His Mother.

And by which she tails after Edgeworth as if he was the chosen grandchild seems to suggest something else; that he's the one and only Jesus Christ of the AA-verse. He was resurrected as how only the Son of God could possibly be resurrected, complete with amazing theme.

Therefore, we come to the conclusion that Gregory Edgeworth, as the Father to the Holy Son, is God of the AA-verse.

Thank you for reading.

P.S. Do recall that the oldest case in the timeline of this series is the IS-7 case, that is, Gregory's final case before he transcended His mortal coil. Proof enough for ya?

TheDoctor wrote:Alright, so one of them broke his chin too. Either that, or their development cycles were just different enough to where their chins might be constructed differently.
Unbelievable, Doctor. Surely you jest? The Father to the Holy Son could not possibly break His nose or chin, and nor would he allow His Son to have His nose or chin broken. It is but a trick in the eye of the beholder.

I... I don't even know how to respond to this...

Edit:

TheDoctor wrote:

I'm sorry, but there is a clear contradiction in your testimony. If the Father to the Holy Son is incapable of breaking his nose or chin, explain how von Karma was able to end his life with a mere bullet!

Besides, I looked it up. Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright were born as part of the Les Enfants D'avocat project. I sincerely doubt it's possible to clone a god. =P

It's amazing what they can do with science these days!

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:17 am

I'm too sober for this, but still I read on and I'm not sure if I'm intrigued or intimidated.

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 3:55 pm

TheDoctor wrote:
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
TheDoctor wrote:Alright, so one of them broke his chin too. Either that, or their development cycles were just different enough to where their chins might be constructed differently.
Unbelievable, Doctor. Surely you jest? The Father to the Holy Son could not possibly break His nose or chin, and nor would he allow His Son to have His nose or chin broken. It is but a trick in the eye of the beholder.

I'm sorry, but there is a clear contradiction in your testimony. If the Father to the Holy Son is incapable of breaking his nose or chin, explain how von Karma was able to end his life with a mere bullet!

Besides, I looked it up. Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright were born as part of the Les Enfants D'avocat project. I sincerely doubt it's possible to clone a god. =P

That was before he turned into God, silly. After von Karma hence immortalized Him, He set up an intricate 15-year plan in the making to use irony against His enemy, and manifested His will into one other man: the one we know as Phoenix Wright.

As to why he chose a period of 15 years, it made it hurt all the more when von Karma lost to a rookie on the last day the case could be closed.

He may seem to have abandoned His Son to the hands of His mortal enemy, but it was a necessary sacrifice to lead His Son on the path to Transcendence.

There's always a procedure for these things, you know.

TheDoctor · Post by **TheDoctor** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 4:04 pm

If that's the case, then he could very well have broken his nose and chin before von Karma shot him.

:takethat:

Nearavex · Post by **Nearavex** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 4:10 pm

Nah, it was Gregory transcending his mortal, human body that caused the earthquake in the first place. Manfred just happened to have shot his lifeless shell.

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:15 pm

TheDoctor wrote:If that's the case, then he could very well have broken his nose and chin before von Karma shot him.

Au contraire. You previously said that "one of them" had broken his nose. I simply stated that our Holy Father could not have broken his nose or that he could not have "allowed" His Son to break his nose. There is but one conclusion that arises from this.

Nearavex wrote:Nah, it was Gregory transcending his mortal, human body that caused the earthquake in the first place. Manfred just happened to have shot his lifeless shell.

He was fooled until the end. It was the perfect plan of divine retribution!

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 4:14 pm

Spoiler: This took far too much effort to make.

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 4:21 pm

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 4:29 pm

There's more where that came from (although it's a much smaller image this time).

Going for Miles · Post by **Going for Miles** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 4:45 pm

I'm a believer.

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 6:14 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:There's more where that came from (although it's a much smaller image this time).

I think that dude on the ground might be me.

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 6:23 pm

Never shall we fear the Dark Age of Bad Writing again. Our future on these forums will be a bright one.

Going for Miles · Post by **Going for Miles** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 6:31 pm

What about the Dark Age of No Writing?

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 6:46 pm

...there's writing on this forum?

Going for Miles · Post by **Going for Miles** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:24 pm

There's Wrighting on this forum?

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:30 pm

GoingforMiles wrote:There's Wrighting on this forum?

I should certainly hope so.

Going for Miles · Post by **Going for Miles** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:53 pm

I thought of replying something "witty" again, but let's not beat a dead horse.

Anyway, I once posted something in the Headcanon thread. But it wasn't a headcanon, it was a crack theory. So I'll say it here instead; Diego fell in love with Mia when she cried over Fawles because he could see his reflection in her tears.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:04 pm

Yeah, I meant to say this in the headcanons thread but I was late to the party... but there's two ways to interpret that.
- it's really deep and ACTUALLY ADORABLE
- Diego is narcissistic

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:10 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:...there's writing on this forum?

If you have the time, stop by the Sporking Theatre in the Fanfics / Present Testimony board.

GoingforMiles wrote:There's Wrighting on this forum?

There's Edgeworshipping now too.

GoingforMiles wrote:I thought of replying something "witty" again, but let's not beat a dead horse.

Anyway, I once posted something in the Headcanon thread. But it wasn't a headcanon, it was a crack theory. So I'll say it here instead; Diego fell in love with Mia when she cried over Fawles because he could see his reflection in her tears.

And she hence saw her reflection in his bloody hand, ever hoping for that moment when he'd realize where he truly went wrong. It took him 5 years, but it was worth the wait.

Going for Miles · Post by **Going for Miles** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:29 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Yeah, I meant to say this in the headcanons thread but I was late to the party... but there's two ways to interpret that.
- it's really deep and ACTUALLY ADORABLE
- Diego is narcissistic

Yup!

Not sure which one is the most plausible though

There's Edgeworshipping now too.

OH. Oh. Good one. (Though I'd argue that there's always been in some form)

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 9:03 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Yeah, I meant to say this in the headcanons thread but I was late to the party... but there's two ways to interpret that.
- it's really deep and ACTUALLY ADORABLE
- Diego is narcissistic

Both, both...

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:05 pm

Spoiler: Look at all my trials and tribulations...

Edit: Damnit, Miles.

Going for Miles · Post by **Going for Miles** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:07 pm

Look at all my Trials & Tribulations...

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:09 pm

GoingforMiles wrote:Look at all my Trials & Tribulations...

Oh my dear! How could I NOT think about that!?

...sinking in a gentle pool of wine...

Going for Miles · Post by **Going for Miles** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:09 pm

Dude, that couldn't sink in a sea of wine.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:11 pm

Our Gregory, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy... wait I don't actually know how the ~~Lord's~~ Lawyer's Prayer goes.

Also, if this thread is going to devolve into us shooping the Edgeworths' faces over paints of God and/or Jesus, I have succeeded in my purpose.

Going for Miles · Post by **Going for Miles** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:12 pm

So that was your plan all along!

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:15 pm

GoingforMiles wrote:So that was your plan all along!

WaitingforGodot · Post by **WaitingforGodot** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:15 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Our Gregory, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy... wait I don't actually know how the ~~Lord's~~ Lawyer's Prayer goes.

Lawd's prayer?

And; how long have you been planning this? Put your vile ideas into our subconscious?

And, Miles: How much wine do you think is required?