Southern Corn: Story Crafter

[Southern Corn]

Well this isn't the page starter I envisioned.

Anyway, sorry for not posting yesterday. Some stuff happened. Let's start now.

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When Goats Ate Airplanes (Continued) (Continued) (Continued) (This Joke isn't funny anymore)

P-18- Bore

He took the nice, soft, iron strip right by the lefftt hand [red writing is by the teacher]. He took a step towards his amazing laboratory, which focus[s]ed on all sciences; physical, biological, chemistrical [I'll admit, I snorted slightly], zoological, social [don't ask], mathematical, and even computanal ! And after some hours, Abscondo walked out trumphiantly. He had done it!

P-19- It happened!

He thought to himself happily, "It has finally happened! I didn't think it would happen this quick, but it did!" He told his friends the same thing. He was praised by arising quotes, such as "I never thought it would happen!" [No, they're not referring to the end of this story] "History will remember this day, Gary Malkins!" For he had successfully invented modern utensils!

P-20- What?

What? You're surprised? Why? Modern utensils? Random? Well, folks, now you tell me? It's been 11 parts since I told you a you that Gary Malkins invented modern utensils, and now you tell me that him inventing modern utensils is horribly random and out of place?! I can never understand you all!

P-21- So,
(AKA Title Continuation)

[In this chapter, I had trouble with the letters 'l', 't', 'y' and 'p'. At least, according to the teacher.]

Anyway, back to the story. Malkins smiledd so hard you'd think he'd be one of those famous comedy movie actors [because if you smile hard enough, you look like a comedian, I guess], like Charlie Chaplin, or Groucho Marx Mary [my teacher apparently didn't know about the Marx brothers. I was really frustrated at this. Written above in bracket so is 'It's Marx, not Mary!']. His invention would change the world! Why soon in a few decades, their suitcases would even have wheels [you can tell I'm just pulling stuff out of my ass here]! No, no, that was overthinking it. Suitcases on wheels? Really?

P22- Blah

And thus, modern utensils were invented. It and it seemed as if the universe's turmoil was finally over, though someone reported them to be alledgedly been eaten by goats, but no one believed her, because, seriously, no one believes [that] goats could eat metals, only rotten garbage, vegetables and occasionally plastic.

P23- Blah Blah

And everyone lived happily ever after. And by everybody, I mean most of the goats, the guy [who was actually a gal] who claimed that the goats got their liking for metal from the iron in the spinach, Bobby Joe, Freddo Malkins, Garloni Abscondo Elevati Cutu Albert Brandy Cauldron "Mally" Malkins, the author who got a lot of money for this book (me) [keep on dreaming, young me] and the Wright Brothers. Everyone else didn't. The End....NOT!!

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Whoa, what an twist! Didn't see that coming at all. Anyway, that's all for today. Toodles.

[Southern Corn]

No WGaA today, but I made up for it with a double sporking. Plus, I don't know if anyone's actually reading (and enjoying) When Goats Ate Airplanes. So I'm giving it the lowest priority for now.

[Southern Corn]

Onto the next few chapters. This marks the end of the book, so pay full attention!

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When Goats Ate Airplanes (Continued) (Continued) (Continued) (This Joke isn't funny anymore) (It's over now though)

P-24- Blah Blah BLAHAHAA!

No, it hasn't ended. I just said that to [troll] you terribly, and I hope you got really scared [more like relieved]. So anyway, back to the story. So, you see the next day, l a merchant from Zulu which , with a Non-African [or even human] name, Idnaghul Saruchalumpi Aerloopisk Irneck Poso Lok, known by his initials, ISAIPL, came there.

P-25- Zulu Cutu

[The end words on this one were not clear, according to the teacher.]

So, [ISAIPL] came to trade with the Swizz . You see, he really was of British descent, but since his parents settled Zulu, he had sort of a black skin [...wow], but still anyway had a classic [?] British accent. HAfrica had a lot of gems like Garnets, Sapphires, Rubies, Emeralds, Amethysts, and others. It was here he met a stranger called Malkins.

P26- Malkins

No, it wasn't Gary Malkins, whose full name I shall not ask say to save time. It wasn't even his cousin old Freddo, who asked Bobby Joe to deliver the soft iron strip to Gary. No, it was his mother's mother's son's wife's husband's brother-in-law's neighbour's cousin's friend [who coincidentally had the same surname].

Malkins Sniklam

[Haha, it's a palindrome. Anyway, this chapter isn't numbered, but since the chapters it's between in are, we can safely say this is the 27th.]

So, Iit was really his cousin-in-law [It's a small world after all~], whom he met before his wife [no idea what I meant there] in a tap dancing class his mother had told him to take a few years years ago, or was it decades [here, in brackets, I tried to artificially elongate the chapter by padding things out just to say that 'he' refers to Gary Malkins. It's pretty stupid and I'm not including this for obvious reasons. Really, this story could've been finished in half the chapters if it weren't for this padding BS]?

P-28- Ha!

Ha! A.B.C Malkins [I'm referring to Gary's initials]! That's hilarious! I didn't really notice it at- okay, okay, I'll continue with the the silly story. So the merchant met the stranger Malkins, who told him he had great gems [that] few had seen before. And those gems, my illiterate friends, were modern utensils.

P-29 The Refusal

Unfortunately, Mr. Idnaghul did not appreciate what he thought were lies, no matter what the mysterious munchkin Malkins told him. See, he didn't care about the modern utensils, calling them metal trash [just like this book!], and threw them out the window. Malkins got enraged with this, and chased out the man quite angrily. Meanwhile, near the place where the utensils ^were thrown...

P-30- A Plot Twist

A mysterious figure- not human, by the way- gazed at the utensils. It didn't know what to think. Immediately, it pounced and in the next moment they were all gone. And who the mysterious figure was, I'm sure you know. Ah, yes! You, my sir, have hit the jackpot! It was indeed a majestic looking pony who did it.

P-31- A Friendly NEIGHbour (with a horn)

Yes, it was a pony! Ha! Fooled you, didn't I? Yes, it was not a pony; It was, in fact, the obvious! The obvious is referring meaning a unicorn, by the way. But I shouldn't waste time with it, considering you must obviously know the obvious. Even the dull ones (like you, dear reader [and me, the writer]) must have known it. So, on with the story, when the unicorn ate the utensils, it flew to candyland.

x THE END x

P-31- Credits and Acknowledgements

I would like to thank myself for writing this wonderful story [you're not welcome]. The director is another one I am thankful to, who is me [surprise]. I'd like to the thank the academy and Miss N [my teacher] for inspiring me. I also want to thank I, me, and myself for producing this fictional book [Oh, if only it were fictional]. And I'd also finally like to thank the unicorn who willingly helped us [alright, that's the funniest line in the book. Ironically it's at the end].

x CREDITS x OVER x CHEESY MUSIC PLAYS [you're welcome for that] x

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And thus, it all comes to an end. Just kidding, there's more for some reason. That's coming tomorrow. There's also 3 extra pages between 32 and 33 for no good reason, so I'll be typing those down here too. Hope you..umm...sorry.

[Southern Corn]

It's been a while, eh? But (un?)fortunately, no WGaA this time around. This is the first poem I've written for a magazine. I've dubbed it....

Spoiler: The Monsoon Gloom

Darkness enshrouds me
Little I can see
O Great Sunshine!
What has happened to thee?

No time to sleep
No time to scrounge
With heavy footsteps
I run to the lounge

I look at the time
Barely a quarter to nine
Somehow the day has only started
And already away the light has been carted

Says I, Good Lord!
What a horrible fright!
If it is morning
Why does it appear to be midnight?

This question to be answered
Does not take long
Soon the clouds start singing
Singing their mournful song

Their tears fall slowly
Crashing on the grounds
They splish and splash
And make other sounds

Thus I understand
Everything makes sense
For of their water
The clouds do dispense

The date is roughly a month after June
And so thus starts the monsoon gloom

Thunder roars
And lightning strikes
Those sounds are one of
My prominent dislikes

And yet I enjoy
The aura they make
The moody glum atmosphere
For God's sake!

Even in the morning hours
Though it's so dark
It's rather enjoyable
And leaves quite a mark

Meanwhile, the splatters of raindrops slowly intensifies
This is wherein the true beauty of nature lies

The monsoon gloom, unloved and underrated
The love of its mood is understated
Some people like summer, which is fine
After all, not everyone likes darkness at a quarter to nine

But still, it is not to be feared
Nor is it to be leered at
The monsoon darkness is loving
Much like a pet cat

It is simply the rain
The beautiful tears of the sky
Would you be afraid or be mocking
If your friend started to cry?

And thus, as I think this
The great mourning ends
The sky brightens and the sun shines
They have finally made amends

Even though the aura does no longer loom
Forever I shall remember it
The Monsoon Gloom.

Hope you enjoyed. I decided to go for a more archaic writing style this time.

And yes, this is based on my personal experiences. Monsoon's just started over here and I love it for reasons started in the poem.

[Southern Corn]

Yo dweebs how's it going? Here, I got you a new sporking. First of its kind on the beta forums. You're welcome, dopesters.

[Southern Corn]

So...I did a detailed analysis on my favourite movie, Lion and the King. No, not the Lion King. Lion and the King. Look it up, savages. Anyway, here it is I guess:

Spoiler: Spoilers for the best half hour of your life

Alright, so I'll be separating this into several categories. Let's start with...

Story
The story is well written, and is narrated by a couple of, um, er...meerkat...gopher things? Rodents. Anyway, this is technically a sequel to another film made by the same company. Sadly, it was never released in English and it never got to see the light of day. The sequel, however, focuses on the conflict between the two ruling fathers on both sides of the border (aka the Lion King and the extremely notorious Black Panther) and their sons. While they are both enemies, the subtle parallels between each of them definitely lends credence to the movie. The search for the diamond also kept me intrigued, and it definitely did disappoint! I really like the cliffhanger this movie leaves us on, too. While it seems to tie everything up and the end, there are still some unanswered questions that will most likely be addressed in the sequel.
Oh yeah, the message is also pretty good. They subtly incorporated a message to donate to the society of endangered animals. If you missed it, then I suggest rewatching the movie but paying closer attention. It's pretty hard to get though.

Animation

Look, I know a lot of people give this movie shit for having terrible animation, but I completely disagree with that. The preschoolers they hired as illustrators did a great job drawing the stock backgrounds and tracing artwork of the Lion King characters, and I won't believe anyone who says otherwise. And despite having a slightly lower budgets than most modern Hollywood films, they still managed to have arrays and arrays of fully unique animations which they never even repeated once. So you have to give them credit for that.

Characters

As I mentioned earlier, there are some definite parallels between some characters, but I feel honestly that some stuff went unexplored. Like the love triangle between Robin, Mew Mew and Dundee. I feel that they honestly could have put in a bit more conflict but as it stands now it's also fine. I can see why some people find Robin kind of an asshole, but only literally. That nose is disgusting. But other than that? Absolutely not. He treated both Dundee and Mew Mew fairly and equally, and never once said anything to them that he shouldn't have. Now that's what I call a likeable character. The side characters are appropriately annoying, and the fathers are both terrible. I do wonder why Mew Mew's mother is a gorilla, but I'd rather not know.

Voice Acting

Once again, I have to defend the VAs. A lot of people think they're terrible, they're not. This is honestly one of the best anime dubs I've ever heard, and I have to give credit to both the VAs for pulling it off, considering they were also the VAs in the original dub. The fathers both sound like they're high, the cubs sound uninterested in everything that's happening, Dundee is trying too hard to pull off an Australian accent considering he's never spoken English in his life, the elephants are drunk, the female characters are forgettable, the monkeys are hellspawn and the bird....just why? Why is that bird so screechy?
Anyway, I'm getting off track. The VAs did a great job with the characters and you can't deny it.

Comedy

The comedy...speaks for itself. Here are some highlights:

1. "The diamonds, MUH GOD!"
2. "Even if it's just a joke, it's not DONE!"
3. "It's hard when your father's the king."
4. "Your father the black panther is your father?!"
5. "Shall we be friends?"
"Hmm, I dunno. I think we should be enemies."
"Okay"
6. "Do you know where the hiding place is?"
"That's not an easy question to answer. Do you know where the hiding place is?"
7. "Shut up, Dundee."

If you're not converted by the end of this, then I dunno what to tell you.

Overall Thoughts

Clearly, Lion and the King is the best movie ever made. Every aspect of this movie is the best thing ever. On a scale of 1-10, I give this film a 11/10, partially because 11 doesn't exist on a scale of 1-10. I can't wait for the sequel where the temporary armistice between the two leaders ends and more unnecessary conflict arises.

So yeah. There you go. Enjoy.

sorry I'm not that great at doing this

[Southern Corn]

Remember this?

You've seen my short stories and poems,and now time for my...er,other works. So here are my totally cool OCs. Starting with...the mysterious Prosecutor Socot!



After waking up from a poison-induced coma which he was in for 7 years,Socot decided to take to prosecuting,hoping he would discover his true identity (as he woke up an amnesiac) by doing so. The blue thing behind him? That's his tail,which got severely wounded during his fatal and mysterious accident 7 years ago. His eyes were also heavily damaged,and he has to wear a helmet to even see. Even with it,he cannot see yellow on white,which has seriously confused him several times in the bathroom. So far,he has gone undefeated,but has not regained his memory. Will he get it back? Find out soon!

Thought that Prosecutor Socot was garbage? Then you haven't even seen my next dumb OC,Captain Socot!



As you can tell,this is Prosecutor's Socot's alternate identity! After prosecuting several cases,Socot realised that there's more to him than the courts can provide answers for,and became a superhero! Just like the Yatagarasu,he's on the search for the truth-the truth of whom he really was,that is. Every month,at midnight,he sneaks into his outift (with some evil eyebrows pasted on his helmet,red laser eyes emanating from his helmet,a fake metal mouth sneering at his foes,a wonderful moustache and a cape with his initials (CS-Captain Socot (but could it be more than that? ) on it covering his weak tail),and steals (get it?) into several warehouses and embassies and other offices to get more info on who he was-even if he was traitor scum from an organization larger than him. Will he truly steal the truth,even if his life depends on it? Or will he have to stick with being a prosecuting amnesiac? Find out soon!

made by me in 10 minutes with MS paint as a joke for Pierre

...Yeah,um....I'll go now.

Yeah, you thought it looked terrible as you were browsing this forum, didn't you?

Well, no worries! Now you can think it looks terrible as you browse imgur with my latest album there on the lore of Socot! It's essentially a condensed version of the post above, but....yeah. There you go.

[Southern Corn]

It's been a while, but I'm out with the first part of a new sporking! See here or the beta for your reading purposes.

[Southern Corn]

Whoops completely forgot to post the second part. Here it is

[Southern Corn]

Usually I like to provide a bit of context for some of these but this one is so utterly bizarre I think it works without context. Let's see.

Spoiler: This will be weird.

Peasants vs Knights

So there once was a little village known as Phoenixia. It was under the rule of an evil tyrant known was Mails Wineworth, who taxed the peasants living in the town so heavily that they could barely afford their basic amenities. One day, a knight with a flair of edge to him was riding across the tiny village when a young peasant with spiky hair jumped out of nowhere and threw him of his horse! Naturally, the knight was furious and demanded that his horse be returned, but the young peasant refused. This led to the knight informing King Wineworth of this, this propagating a heinously vulgar and gory war.

At first, the peasants seemed to be winning. The knights, riding donkeys (because the peasants had managed to take their horses) were overpowered by the sheer number of enemies and were vanquished. But then King Wineworth brought out his secret weapon- a bottle of what he claimed to be 'grape juice'! He smacked everyone (including his own men) with the bottle and in his intoxicated fury managed to obliterate the majority of the enemies, including the young peasant's equally spiky haired lover, who died yelling out her fiancé's name in agony.

The young peasant (who was leading the peasants onward) became enraged and lashed out against the knights, letting several of his men die in the process. While this was all going on, Queen Wineworth was brutally assassinated by a pawn, who turned out to be a double agent working for the peasants! But the twists weren't over yet! A rook from the knight's side managed to infiltrate the peasant's base and destroy it completely, killing several of the rank soldiers inside. Soon, it looked as though the battle was finally coming to an end. There seemed to be only pawns on the battlefield, while in a secluded corner the leader were battling it out.

King Wineworth did not seem worn down by the battle, and it showed as he was single handedly besting the young peasant in a fencing match. But he soon tripped, and the young peasant took the opportunity and stabbed him in the back cold bloodedly. But Mails was far from finished. He crawled to the riverside, and using his powers (as he had been decreed the Mailssaih the year before), he converted the entire thing into wife and drank from it, thus replenishing his strength. But the clever young peasant manipulated him using his sweet talk into turning the lake back into water and pushed him in, leading him to drown within minutes!

And as this unfolded, onlookers cheered. Victory had been achieved, and the tyrannical knights bested! This led to a revolution within the state and the young peasant was appointed the new ruler of Phoenixia along with several nearby villages. He brought forth a new age of prosperity and his people lived blissfully without fear and without being overtaxed.

The End.

[Southern Corn]

Also, new sporking's out! Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

[Southern Corn]

Okay, so I was just kind of messing around on the mobile editor (which sucks, by the way) and I came up with whatever this is.

Spoiler: Large

The reason I'm posting it here is because it looks like it'll be the best thing I'll probably be able to make on the editor. Other than that, just showing it off, I guess.

[Chloe]

This is basically the place where I post my works,which include poetry and some short stories. I'll start with this simple little haiku:
Murder-A Haiku
Shot right in the heart
The weapon,a stray arrow
The victim,a hawk

Stay tuned for more soon!

The last line threw me off as I didn't expect the victim to be a hawk. Nicely done.

[Southern Corn]

Thanks. That element of subversion was what I was going for. Originally the Haiku was going to be pretty straightforward with it just describing a normal murder but I decided to change it to that, which I think really overall enhanced it. Better than the rest of my haikus, imo.

[Southern Corn]

Happy New Year, everyone! While I don't know why the old year isn't as happy, I do have a new sporking for you!