Nah, just kidding. Anyway, seeing as how it is called 'Decisive Evidence', and I myself have written a story called 'Inconclusive Evidence', I just had to check it out! xD
The characters are, for the most part, very well written. You've spotted some of the more minor idiosyncrasies and character traits which other people might miss, and a couple of times, you've nailed their reactions spot on compared to how I think they should react to a given situation. I like your portrayal of Mia best, though Maya, Edgeworth and Franziska were pretty good, too.
You've also got some good humor going there. Phoenix asking Franny about doodling on the evidence is priceless, as is the bit with Maya's diary at the end. At first I just thought it ludicrous that Maya would keep a diary and address it as 'Dear Diary', but the 'Dear Diary, I think I may need to have you examined for fingerprints' line is pure genius and makes it work!
I also noticed you made use of the fact that Mia sometimes appears to Phoenix without anyone needing to channel her. People like to forget about that or ignore it, so that's pretty good.
Personally, I found Phoenix angsting over Maya's response and trying to deny his feelings a bit annoying as a story premise, and everyone trying to play matchmaker on Phoenix seemed just a tad contrived (I think Edgeworth might just try to do something if he sees Phoenix act the way he does in this story, but I believe it would be a pithy comment or two at most, rather than taking him aside and giving him a whole talk. Still, I really liked the way you had Phoenix and Edgeworth interact. It was a good way to show that they are friends in the end, without any needless homoerotic undertones. Well done!
Taiyama, Thanks for the feedback. I'm not a bad writer, but I think I lack something that the "Great" Writers have. But I'm not sure what it is (Well, besides proper grammar) Anyway, I'll keep at it. I'll have more time when I get done with school, so more time for my muse to poke me into writing.
That's the spirit. I've been writing fanfiction on and off for more than six years now, and I've seen tremendous improvements in my own writing skills over this period. I wish you success in your future endeavors!
If you are looking to improve yourself, I would suggest trying to put as little plot constraints on characters as possible. I'm firmly of the opinion that the plot of your story should never get in the way of how a character would naturally act. If a character, left to his/her own devices, would do something that goes contrary to what I want to have happening in my story, it should be the plot that needs to give way. If the characters seem like they don't want to play along and you really don't want to give up that plot you've got in your head, you just need to work harder and go to that bit of extra effort to make it work using only small, subtle nudges. The more natural and less forced the character's actions and dialogue feels, the more real the story will feel and the better your readers' immersion will be. This kind of believability is what makes or breaks a story in the end.
I'm not sure how much of this actually applies to you - maybe your images of the characters are different from mine and all of them encouraging Phoenix to confess doesn't seem contrived to you. In that case, that's just fine. It would be boring if everyone interpreted the characters the same way.
If you're interested, check out the link in my sig for a different version of a post-T&T 'Phoenix and Maya finally get together' story. 'Ultra Course' follows up on Pearl's words in the credits where she says she'll have them take an even more advanced training course than the Special Course for which they came to Hazakura Temple in the first place. 'Inconclusive Evidence' is a fun piece written from Pearl's perspective where she 'investigates' Fey Manor during the night to look for evidence of Phoenix and Maya's relationship but finds more than she bargained for. Feel free to check them out if this sounds interesting, and let me know what you think!
Quizer
<3 
really well written
