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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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I went oneshot-searching.
I found this. Also, the this and this. And this one that isn't a oneshot.
Who wants what?

Edit: Tenth page wup wup!

Second Edit: I also found this, which I actually thought was pretty cute aside from the blatant punctuation errors.
Third Edit: I thought xreaders were supposed to be in second person?
Fourth Edit: These are a lot easier to find than I thought...
Fifth Edit: IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS, FOLKS
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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In general, you can always check for new fics via the according filters: https://www.fanfiction.net/game/Phoenix ... &r=103&s=2

I took a look at the most recent ones, and here are a few I'd deem sporkworthy:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10624786/1/Lonely-Nickle: Very, very short, so would only suffice as a filler episode, but it has baaad spelling and punctuation as well as an... interesting... concept. I personally love that the lava lamp has real lava in it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10619014/1/achtung-baby: when the warning says "very stupid", you know you're in for a treat. ;) Good material for a fun spork. Make sure to take your time to appreciate the Huge Text Block of Doom (tm).

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10610724/1 ... utor-Style: Haven't read it, but the description sounds promising. (Probably best for a funny/silly spork)
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Pessimistic_Fool wrote:
In general, you can always check for new fics via the according filters: https://www.fanfiction.net/game/Phoenix ... &r=103&s=2

I took a look at the most recent ones, and here are a few I'd deem sporkworthy:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10624786/1/Lonely-Nickle: Very, very short, so would only suffice as a filler episode, but it has baaad spelling and punctuation as well as an... interesting... concept. I personally love that the lava lamp has real lava in it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10619014/1/achtung-baby: when the warning says "very stupid", you know you're in for a treat. ;) Good material for a fun spork. Make sure to take your time to appreciate the Huge Text Block of Doom (tm).

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10610724/1 ... utor-Style: Haven't read it, but the description sounds promising. (Probably best for a funny/silly spork)

I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I WROTE ACHTUNG BABY
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Hi! I just got start reading a bunch of Sporks and am wondering if this could make a good filler:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/153721?view_adult=true- Short yet not bad but it make me want to get brain bleach as some one who doesn't ship much. You'll see as you read (If you dislike the pairing to begin with).

Just wondering so maybe I can start on writing my first Spork.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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FlashFilms wrote:
Hi! I just got start reading a bunch of Sporks and am wondering if this could make a good filler:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/153721?view_adult=true- Short yet not bad but it make me want to get brain bleach as some one who doesn't ship much. You'll see as you read (If you dislike the pairing to begin with).

Just wondering so maybe I can start on writing my first Spork.

The really explicit stuff needs to get cut out, but I think you'd be able to get away with this since it's so vague. Then again, when was the last time someone did pure smut here? Ever?
Either way, I wouldn't really recommend starting out with a smutfic, especially one as well-written as this one. How bout you check out some of the oneshots Pessimistic_Fool and I have been linking to?
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Okay, thanks for the help! Can't wait to start I just need to choice wisely and all will be good.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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pff im tracking this just in case

better safe than sorry
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Pessimistic_Fool wrote:
In general, you can always check for new fics via the according filters: https://www.fanfiction.net/game/Phoenix ... &r=103&s=2

I took a look at the most recent ones, and here are a few I'd deem sporkworthy:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10624786/1/Lonely-Nickle: Very, very short, so would only suffice as a filler episode, but it has baaad spelling and punctuation as well as an... interesting... concept. I personally love that the lava lamp has real lava in it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10619014/1/achtung-baby: when the warning says "very stupid", you know you're in for a treat. ;) Good material for a fun spork. Make sure to take your time to appreciate the Huge Text Block of Doom (tm).

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10610724/1 ... utor-Style: Haven't read it, but the description sounds promising. (Probably best for a funny/silly spork)
AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
I went oneshot-searching.
I found this. Also, the this and this. And this one that isn't a oneshot.
Who wants what?

Edit: Tenth page wup wup!

Second Edit: I also found this, which I actually thought was pretty cute aside from the blatant punctuation errors.
Third Edit: I thought xreaders were supposed to be in second person?
Fourth Edit: These are a lot easier to find than I thought...
Fifth Edit: IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS, FOLKS

So which fic should I do?
(Except for achtung baby because I wrote that one and I am STILL laughing about the fact that it was recommended here.)
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Sorry 'bout that, but I still think it would be good for a fun spork. ^^
(Mind you, not everything we spork has to be horrible.)

As to what you should spork, I really would just go with whatever you have the best ideas for. Or pick the one you find best for the characters you would like to write. I'm sure they all have some potential.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Pessimistic_Fool wrote:
Sorry 'bout that, but I still think it would be good for a fun spork. ^^
(Mind you, not everything we spork has to be horrible.)

Somebody please spork it I will love you forever.

Edit: Working on What's There to Hide? right now!!


Last edited by AireyVerkhovensky on Fri Aug 22, 2014 1:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Pessimistic_Fool wrote:
Sorry 'bout that, but I still think it would be good for a fun spork. ^^
(Mind you, not everything we spork has to be horrible.)

Somebody please spork it I will love you forever.

I am so tempted to spork it. I usually don't do more than one sporking at a time, since it's easy to get mixed up between them...

I'll keep it in reserve unless someone else jumps on it.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Well, I decided on It's a Promise just so you know. :phoenix:
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Have we decided on who should keep a list of who's doing what?
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Hehe.

This fic is called What's There to Hide? by FE Girl 1.
I'll give it :sahwit: :sahwit: since it can't even compete with the last two fics I sporked but it's still pretty lame and ships Phoenix with a personality-less OC.

Today's sporkers are...
Phoenix Wright!
:phoenix: "Just a oneshot? Rated T at that?"
Miles Edgeworth!
:edgeworth: "I'm not even in this fic. Why am I here?"
Iris!
:Iris: "I've heard some terrible things about this place... but if Phoenix is here, it can't be that bad."
and...
Dahlia Hawthorne being channelled by Maya Fey! We think.
:Iris: "This is going to be fun."

[We open up in our sporking theatre, where Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth are already seated in separate rows.]

Phoenix: There's no way you were that offended when I said-

Edgeworth: This isn't about that, Wright. It's about the fic that the Management picked.

Phoenix: Yeah? *flips through script* It's not that bad. Just over a thousand words... there's not even any slash.

Edgeworth: Meaning I'm not in it. Ask yourself, Wright: why am I here?

Phoenix: ...obviously the Management has an ulterior motive.

Edgeworth: Which is precisely why I'm sitting so far away from you.

Speakers: The Management would like to request that Miles Edgeworth stop ruining our fun.

Edgeworth: And Miles Edgeworth would like to request that the Management explain why I'm here.

Speakers: ...fine. Remember how we said that you were going to be sitting in on Phoenix Wright's punishment sporking?

Both: Punishment sporking?

Speakers: Yes, for all his rule-breaking and creepy behavior during Breathing Is A Necessity. Seriously, Phoenix Wright, that was a punishment sporking. Why did you think it was a good idea to go off like that?

Phoenix: ............. *flips through script again* This fic isn't even that bad. How is-?

Speakers: Oh yes. The punishment comes in the form of...

[Two identically-dressed Irises are led into the theatre. They both smile at Phoenix.]

Phoenix: Wh- Iris?!

Iris: Hello, Phoenix.

Iris: It's been a while, Phoenix.

Phoenix: Wait, why are there two o- don't tell me...

Speakers: Yep! Oh, and remember: dying in the sporking theatre is strictly forbidden!

Phoenix: *groans, put head in hands*

Edgeworth: (Perhaps the best course of action here would be to ignore them and focus on the fic...)

[The two Irises sit on each side of Phoenix, and the lights dim.]

Quote:
Mina got up from her seat as she paid for her meal in the bar where the well-known former lawyer, Phoenix Wright, was said to play piano and poker. She always went there to listen to him play,


Edgeworth: Hm. "Was said to play" makes it sound as though she isn't sure if Wright would be there in the first place.

Phoenix: So, um, which one of you is Iris and which one is Dahlia?

Iris: We're not supposed to tell which is which.

Iris: I'm really sorry, Phoenix...

Iris: It's just that we've heard about the terrible fic that you and Mr. Edgeworth just got punished with...

Iris: We were afraid that if we broke the rules, the Management might find a fic like that that involves us.

Iris: Sorry...

Phoenix: (...this is going to be a loooong sporking. Assuming I survive.)

Quote:
even though he doesn't play well, but nonetheless enjoys listening anyways. The young woman would always get to talk to him when he doesn't have to play piano and poker and they got pretty close for the past few months since they met.


Iris: You make friends easily, don't you, Phoenix?

Phoenix: ...

Iris: Um, do you not want to answer her?

Phoenix: I'm kind of afraid of what would happen if I did.

Both Irises: ...

Quote:
After a matter of time, MIna began to develop feelings for the man, but would try to deny it so it couldn't ruin their friendship.


Edgeworth: Mm. Raise your hand if you didn't see this coming.

Phoenix: Sorry, but what's going on in the fic?

Iris: Isn't not paying attention against the rules?

Iris: And aren't you already in a punishment sporking?

Iris: I wish that the Management wouldn't use us to punish you...

Iris: I'm sorry, Phoenix.

Phoenix: (I am going to go insane.)

Quote:
As she was about to leave, a voice behind her asked, "You're leaving without saying anything to me?"

She didn't bother turning. She knew who was talking to her.


Edgeworth: That's rude of her.

Iris: Phoenix deserves better...

Iris: To be fair, doesn't this OC not have a personality?

Iris: Yes... is that right, Phoenix?

Phoenix: W-What?

Iris: You have the script.

Iris: Does the OC have a personality?

Phoenix: ...no?

Iris: You deserve better, Phoenix...

Quote:
"I felt you were busy, so...I didn't want to bother you," she meekly spoke, "but I'll be back tomorrow."


Edgeworth: He clearly can't be all that busy if he's bothering this Mina woman about her not interrupting him.

Iris: ...are you okay, Feenie?

Iris: You look pretty pale.

Phoenix: Um...

Iris: Oh, is it because you don't know which one of us is Dahlia...

Iris: ...and which one of us is the real Iris?

Phoenix: ...

Iris: Don't worry, Feenie.

Iris: As long as the Management's here, you'll be safe.

Phoenix: (More like as long as the Management's here, I'm doomed...)

Quote:
When she was about to walk away, Phoenix grabbed her wrist firmly, stopping her. "I'm afraid you're not going anywhere until you tell me a good reason why you're leaving without a word," he firmly said to her.


Edgeworth: ...I assume fic-Wright thinks that there is some sort of problem in the OC's life.

Iris: He's very kind like that.

Phoenix: (Can I assume the one complimenting me is the real one? No, it could still be Dahlia...)

Iris: Feenie?

Iris: Maybe some grape juice would help...?

Phoenix: No, no, no, I am not drinking anything in here. Ever again. I value my life.

Both Irises: ...

Phoenix: (This place will be the death of me.)

Quote:
After what seemed to be several minutes without a reply from her, he pulled her through the bar and went down the stairs towards the game room where he plays poker.


Edgeworth: So they just stood there for several minutes in the middle of a bar...? And she thought Wright was busy?

Iris: Well, it does just say that it "seemed to be" several minutes...

Edgeworth: Is the OC's perception of time flawed somehow?

Iris: Well, Mr. Edgeworth...

Iris: Isn't this a shipping fic? Between Phoenix and this Mina woman?

Iris: Yes, it is, isn't it?

Iris: Sometimes, when you're in love...

Phoenix: Can we not have this conversation here?

Iris: If you say so, Feenie.

Iris: Of course, Feenie.

Phoenix: ... *gets up, sits next to Edgeworth instead*

Edgeworth: If they follow you, Wright...

Phoenix: I'm just trying not to get killed here.

Quote:
Opening the door, he pulled her inside, walked in, closed the door, and locked it. Phoenix then turned to face her, leaned on the door, and crossed his arms, giving her a look that said, 'You better talk or I won't let you leave" on his face.


Iris: That's kind of creepy, Feenie.

Phoenix: (Yeah, you're one to talk. ...maybe.)

Quote:
Sighing, MIna spoke, "Ok, I'll confess. I've been having these...feelings lately and I didn't want you to know about them,


All: *no commentary*

Speakers: ...if no one's going to make an "unnecessary feelings" joke here, then we will.

Edgeworth: I wasn't aware that the Management was supposed to participate in sporkings.

Speakers: It's a punishment sporking. We can get away with anything.

Phoenix: ...nice save, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: Shh.

Quote:
so I thought leaving could make them go away, but..."

"Go on..." Phoenix urged, grinning slowly.

"But, I still come here cause I love to hear you play and I enjoy talking to you when you have the time..."

"And...?" Phoenix began to slowly walk towards her.


Iris: That's still pretty creepy, Feenie.

Phoenix: You should have seen me in the last fic in here.

Iris: Really? What happened there?

Iris: Wasn't that that really awful one where about half of it had to cut out?

Iris: I don't think they want to talk about it...

Iris: Oh. *short pause* Sorry...

Quote:
"And I came to realize...that I'm in love with you," Mina finally confessed, a deep red blush appearing on her soft cheeks.

Phoenix grinned more as he got her against the wall, his hand on the left side of her head as he looked into her hazel eyes, with his other free hand tucking some of her light brown hair behind her ear. "You know, that's a good reason, but you know...I've fallen in love with you too.


Edgeworth: Once again... raise your hand if you didn't see this coming.

Iris: Huh... Feenie just falling in love like that...

Iris: Well, it-

Phoenix: I'm just going to stop this conversation here, okay?

Both Irises: Okay, Feenie.

Phoenix: (...somebody please send help.)

Edgeworth: Surely you've realized the hopelessness of your situation, Wright.

Phoenix: I'm pretty sure it's your job to make sure I don't die.

Edgeworth: Mm.

Quote:
You're different from the other women I've met


Edgeworth: ...because all of the other women he's met have actual personalities.

Quote:
and at least you're not a woman who wants to kill me."


Both Irises: ...

Phoenix: W-Well it is true. ...can you tell me which one is the real Iris yet?

Iris: Sorry.

Iris: We'd love to, but...

Iris: The Management thinks that would ruin the fun.

Iris: Yes, the fun of you not knowing which one of us is the one who wants to kill you...

Iris: It could be either of us... I'm sorry, Feenie.

Iris: I'm sorry, too...

Quote:
Mina asked, "R-Really?"

"And you want to know something?"

"Wh-what is it?"

Phoenix leaned in to where his lips were next to her ear as he whispered, "I always looked forward to seeing you every night."


Edgeworth: Considering he's already confessed his love, this should be a given.

Iris: I don't know, Mr. Edgeworth.

Iris: It's always nice to hear things like that from the one you love.

Phoenix: Could only one of you look at me at a time? Thanks.

Quote:
He pulled away to look at her again. "Now we both have nothing to hide from each other anymore..."

Tears of joy began to well in her eyes as Mina softly said, "Ph-Phoenix..."

"Nick...Call me Nick..." Phoenix whispered softly, his lips hovering over hers.


All: *no commentary*

Edgeworth: ... *elbows Phoenix*

Phoenix: What? Oh. Um, since when do I actually ask people to call me Nick?

Iris: You certainly didn't ask me to call you "Feenie", I guess...

Iris: That was pretty difficult to explain to Dahlia.

Phoenix: ... (Okay, now I'm even more confused.)

Quote:
"N-Nick...I love you so much..." the young woman whispered, the tears falling down her cheeks.

Gently kissing her tears away, the formor attorney softly spoke, "I love you too...more than anything...and I'll do everything in my power to make sure you stay happy."


Edgeworth: And what, pray tell, is a "formor attorney"?

Phoenix: ...I think you're running out of jokes, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: At least I'm making jokes, as opposed to staring at Iris and Dahlia and sweating profusely...

Quote:
After those words, their lips finally met in a soft and gentle kiss. There were no fireworks or any of that cliche stuff that happens in moments like this.


Edgeworth: Funny how this fic should bring up cliché...

Iris: At least no one's setting off fireworks in the building.

Quote:
It was just a simple kiss and it felt so right to them. They pulled away for air just for a brief moment before they shared a warm, passionate kiss. Mina wrapped one arm around his neck while her free hand went through his black hair, making his beanie hat fall to the floor, but Phoenix didn't care at all.


Iris: Oh, but I liked the beanie.

Iris: I thought it was cute.

Iris: Yes, cute...

Iris: Like the sweater, um, we made for him.

Iris: That was a very cute sweater...

Iris: Do you still have it, Phoenix?

Phoenix: I plead the fifth.

Quote:
He put one arm around the small of her back while the other hand cupped a hand on her cheek. Moments later, he licked her bottom lip as to ask for permission, which she gladly accepted.


Edgeworth: Honestly, Wright. What are you, a dog?

Phoenix: You realize I'm only half-paying attention to the fic right now?

Edgeworth: Yes. I realize that.

Quote:
His tongue slid into her mouth and began to explore her mouth, earning a soft moan from the young woman. They fought for dominance when her tongue found his,


Iris: Well, I suppose that is one way to describe a kiss...

Iris: Assuming the author wanted it to sound exactly like every other bad fanfic out there...

Iris: Maybe they wanted to fit in?

Phoenix: ...wait a minute. *stands up, points* You! Iris on the left!

Iris on the left: Yes?

Phoenix: How do you know that description is frequently used in bad fanfiction?

Iris on the left: I, er...

Phoenix: Because you've never been in the sporking theatre before...

Iris on the left: No... I'm afraid I haven't...

Iris on the right: But, neither has Dahlia...

Phoenix: That is true, but... Dahlia is used as a rating for extremely bad fanfiction!

Both Irises: !

Phoenix: Therefore, the "Iris" that knows more about badfic... would actually be Dahlia!

Iris on the left: .......hmph. *does the hair thing* Well played, "Feenie".

Iris: I'm sorry, Phoenix.

Dahlia: You should be. Ruining all my fun, as always.

Iris: We're not going to punished for this, are we...?

Speakers: Nah, Phoenix Wright figured it out himself.

Dahlia: And as if the Management could punish me.

Speakers: ...hmph.

Quote:
Phoenix obviously winning as he ran his hand that was on her cheek now going under her shirt, feeling her bare skin. Mina softly gasped as she felt this, feeling shivers go down her spine.


Iris: ...this is T-rated, right?

Edgeworth: Yes, this is the most explicit it gets.

Dahlia: Meh. It's boring.

Edgeworth: ...it's also very near the end of the fic.

Phoenix: (Which can't possibly come a moment too soon...)

Quote:
"Ngh...N-Nick..." she moaned out.

Phoenix grinned once again and then began to plant gentle kisses on her neck. Mina moved her head a bit to gain him more access, which he happily accepted. After what seemed to be an eternity to them, they pulled away and Nick sat down on the floor, holding Mina in his arms as she sat on his lap, placing her head on his shoulder.

Reaching out a hand and stroking his stubbed cheek, Mina gently said, "I think someone is gonna be due for a shave."


Dahlia: I don't know about that. At least the awful-looking stubble at least partly obscures his stupid-looking face.

Iris: Dahlia...

Phoenix: (As long as she's still looking at the screen, I should be fine.)

Quote:
"You think so? Well, maybe I'll do that when I get home," the man spoke with a hearty chuckle. "So, let's say you and I go to my place and tell Trucy about us. She'll be thrilled to know her Daddy is dating her future Mommy."


Edgeworth: Isn't it a little soon to be thinking about marriage?

Iris: I remember how we used to talk about marriage...

Phoenix: Uh...

Dahlia: ...you talked about what.

Iris: Well, nothing came of it, but...

Dahlia: ..............

Quote:
"Even though I can never replace her actual mother," Mina said with another giggle.

"Well, things are gonna turn out for the best in the future..." Phoenix whispered before pulling her into another soft kiss.


Edgeworth: Yes, the future - where this forgettable OC will ultimately be forgotten.

Phoenix: That's about par for the course.

Iris: Yes...

[The lights come back on, and Phoenix immediately jumps up.]

Phoenix: Well, Iris, it was nice seeing you again, but-

Iris: You could visit me in prison sometime.

Dahlia: Don't act as if he actually cares.

Iris: But he...

Phoenix: I - I'll be sure to drop by soon.

Dahlia: Yes. That seems likely.

Iris: ...Dahlia...

Speakers: Iris and Dahlia Hawthorne's escorts will be arriving shortly.

Dahlia: Hmph. I'm not going anywhere.

Iris: I'm pretty sure Maya needs her body back...

Edgeworth: Wait, are you sure it's Maya? I can't believe she would agree to such a thing.

Iris: I... well, I just assumed.

Phoenix: I don't think I want to know. Come on, Edgeworth.

[Phoenix practically drags Edgeworth out of the theatre, leaving Dahlia and Iris to await their escorts.]

Iris: ...good show, Iris.

Dahlia: Thank you for not hurting Feenie, Dahlia...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

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Airey, your Management is so evil... I love it. >:D Since this is a punishment sporking, the Management does seem to get away with anything...

But now that you brought up this mystery, my detective senses are tingling. I must ponder over this question.

Spoiler: Logic in progress
Maya certainly wouldn't agree to channeling Dahlia, but the only other spirit medium available is Pearl. All Dahlia would need to do is dye her hair black if so. Yet, even Pearl should realize the danger to channeling this spirit, so she wouldn't agree either. Then how is Dahlia even here?

Time to think outside the box. Rather than ask why either of those two would change their mind, we should ask is there some other possibility for Dahlia? Then, this other channeler must be someone from a different time era. More specifically, this someone comes from a time before her passing... and this someone's name is Misty Fey.

It is not a question of why Misty would agree to channel her, but when she did. All the Management would have to do is summon up said character from a certain time with their all-new time-space-bending teleporter.
:takethat:
I made an excellent investment for this theater's new facilities.


What a clever little puzzle indeed.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Airey, your Management is so evil... I love it. >:D Since this is a punishment sporking, the Management does seem to get away with anything...

But now that you brought up this mystery, my detective senses are tingling. I must ponder over this question.

Spoiler: Logic in progress
Maya certainly wouldn't agree to channeling Dahlia, but the only other spirit medium available is Pearl. All Dahlia would need to do is dye her hair black if so. Yet, even Pearl should realize the danger to channeling this spirit, so she wouldn't agree either. Then how is Dahlia even here?

Time to think outside the box. Rather than ask why either of those two would change their mind, we should ask is there some other possibility for Dahlia? Then, this other channeler must be someone from a different time era. More specifically, this someone comes from a time before her passing... and this someone's name is Misty Fey.

It is not a question of why Misty would agree to channel her, but when she did. All the Management would have to do is summon up said character from a certain time with their all-new time-space-bending teleporter.
:takethat:
I made an excellent investment for this theater's new facilities.


What a clever little puzzle indeed.

:gant-clap: You figured it out exactly!
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@Rubia: I think it's currently easy enough to follow who's working on what, but I can make a list if it gets hard to find.


@Airey:

-Iris AND Dahlia together? Poor Phoenix. ^^
You chose his punishment wisely. Let's see if this time, he learned his lesson.

-Your management continues to be hilarious. I love it.

-I feel like, at times, you can actually tell which one is Dahlia, but it's still subtle enough for Phoenix to be unsure about it. I think you wrote the twins very well in this regard.

-Oh Phoenix... breaking the fourth wall of the sporking theater and commenting on the rating emoticon while he's already being punished. I guess he never will learn his lesson after all.

And I really like Rubia's explanation regarding the channeller.


By the way: My own spork is actually going to fit for a minor punishment, so I'll try to get it finished real soon so it can go after this one, continuity-wise.
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Okay time for my first Spork, I only hope for the writing to be in character and to be enjoyable.

Today's Episode: It's a Promise Part 1 Apollo x Reader

Rating: :sahwit: One Sahwit
Not bad but just why isn't it in second person. It confused me a bit since it just begins with no explanation of how the reader is where they are.

Today's sporkers are...

Phoenix Wright
:phoenix: One Sawit? Lucky me...
Apollo Justice
:apollo: Oh, come on! I'm in this one!
Athena Cykes
:athena: You've seen worst, right?
And... Trucy Wright
:trucy: Don't worry Polly! We're all in it!

[We open up to the sporking theatre, as the crew of sporkers are seated waiting for their fate.]

Phoenix: *Flipping through script* Hmm, not to bad... I won't have the feeling to get hit by a car.

Apollo: Mr. Wright, um how come you so calm? Isn't this a x reader fic?

Phoenix: Yes, but by sporking standers of bad I seen way worse.

Trucy: Yeah, Polly have faith!

Athena *eating popcorn* Yeah! *MUNCH MUNCH* Hey look it starting. *MUNCH*

Apollo: (This fic better be louder than her munching.)

[The lights dim.]

Quote:
It's a Promise Part 1 Apollo x Reader


Apollo: Theirs a part TWO?!?

Phoenix: No because this was recent.

Athena: Should be like a week... or so?

Quote:
Apollo gets hit by a car and is currently undergoing surgery. The reader is worrying about his saftey. Will he be okay?


Apollo: Why ME?!?

Athena: That because it's to cause drama, in this case, to the reader.

Trucy: Besides, Daddy felt worse pain, right?

Phoenix: Heh... so you DO pay attention to my stories.

Quote:
Apollo and _ walked out of a restaurant. They were both silent, just walking down the sidewalk. Cars were passing by quickly. I guess thats what you expect in LA. Suddenly, _ spoke. "Apollo… I want to ask you something." _ told him.


Apollo: Who is "_"?

Athena: The reader I think.

Trucy: Shouldn't this fic it use...um...-

Phoenix: What is it Trucy?

Trucy: I think of a word that's a point a view but I'm confused on which one?

Athena: Is it second person?

Trucy: Yes! Thanks Athena

Athena: No problema!

Phoenix: Wait...what?

Quote:
The red-wearing lawyer ignored her just staying silent. _ nudged his shoulder. Huh? Oh, uh… yeah what is it?" he nervously asked.

Phoenix: What's second person?

Athena: It's say "you" instead of a name or "I". Also, why does it say "her"?

Apollo: Yeah, not all readers are female.

Phoenix: SO you want it to be a gay relationship? *Smirks*

Apollo: NO! It just... well not to be homophobic... It uh...

Athena:*Chew more popcorn* Thanks, for the entertainment! *MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH*

Trucy: *Giggles* Come on Polly! He's just playing!

Quote:
She looked at him. He blushed a bit and he replied with the same excuse. He was thinking about something. She sensed something, and emotional reaction. Again?! What emotion is he hiding? _ thought.
"But, I want to ask you something as well!" Apollo exclaimed. _ turned to face him. She nodded her head to him.

Athena: Wait, a emotional power...?

Apollo: Are you sure this is an x reader fic or she has a power because there is someone I know in this..?

Trucy: Who?

Apollo: Mary Sue.

Quote:
"Why are you being so nice? I mean you paid for lunch and you've been inviting me to your place every week, why is that?" He asked. _ needed to come up with an excuse, but if she did, he would eventually find out.

Athena: Why would you ask? Its FREE lunch!

Apollo: We get that all the time from Mr. Wright!

Phoenix: (And if only my wallet could complain.)

Quote:
"Um… I-I just want to be nice to my co-workers." she replied nervously. Apollo's bracelet reacted to her statement. I knew it! She is lying. Apollo thought.


Apollo: If only fic me is smart enough to know how to predict fanfics.

Phoenix: A guy could dream...

Quote:
They both stared at each other, both saying the same thing in unison. They wanted to perceive the truth.


Trucy: Like every lawyer! Right?

All of the Lawyers: Right!

Quote:
"Okay Apollo, tell me the truth. Why won't you answer me?" _ asked. This wasn't like Apollo. He was mostly outgoing and friendly. He had a personality everyone loved. Why would he try to hide his emotions from _? "Okay, I'll tell you the truth, after you tell me what your hiding." Apollo told her. _ got really nervous. Apollo could use his ability on her at any given moment. She came up with an excuse to let him confess first.


Apollo: Why, Thank you reader! (A compliment really does change your mood!)

Athena: What ability? Emotions are my thing!

Trucy: Calm down. No one can be like you!

Athena: Gracias!

Quote:
"You can't run from my ability, Apollo. I can perceive your emotions." _ told him. Apollo stood still. Crap… I have to tell her now. Or else… *shudder* Apollo thought. "Alright, I'll tell you!" Apollo told her.


Phoenix: Does she both you're and Apollo's abilities in one package? (That would be cool..)

_ crossed the street, with Apollo trailing behind her. The office was only a block away. A car came speeding by, about where _ was crossing.

Quote:
Apollo saw the car and ran to push her out of the way. "_!" He yelled out. He quickly pushed her out of the way. Apollo felt a sharp pain to his side, he went black afterwards.


All: Ssssss, ohhh that gotta hurt!

Apollo: Oh, COME ON! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME?!?

Athena: Not the first time...

Quote:
_ walked across the street to get back to the office. There was a car speeding towards her. She stood in shock. _ suddenly heard her name and a push from her back. She got up to see Apollo lying still on his stomach. Blood surrounded him. There were people on their phones calling an ambulance. Sirens roared in the background. People surrounded her, asking questions on what happened. Her vision started to blur. Until, it went dark. Her mind kept playing the memories of the accident. It was torture.


Trucy: Aren’t all lawyers used to this?

Phoenix: Well... after a while and some experience with death you do get used to it. But she looks like a rookie.

Apollo: Yeah, you se- wait... DEATH!

Phoenix: Oops.

Quote:
[One Hour Later]
She woke up to see familiar faces in her appartment. There, sitting on the couch were Phoenix, Athena, and Trucy. She hoped that the acident was only a dream. "Why are you guys here?" _ asked. She was still in shock.


Athena: Wait, did we go in her purse for her keys? Unless we live with her...

Phoenix: You’re thinking too deeply about this.

Quote:
"We just came from the hospital, Polly is going under surgery at the moment," Trucy told _. The accident wasn't a dream. It really happened. The memory of what happened played through her mind. She shivered in fear. Athena nudged Trucy. "You know better than to remind her about it, Trucy!" Phoenix scolded. Trucy corrected her mistake by telling _ sorry. _ nodded her head, she knew that Trucy was still young. She probably didn't mean to.


Trucy: Hey, she had to know that he's alive!

Apollo: Thank GOD! I didn't want a ghost fic!me in this.

Quote:
"How badly was he hurt Mr. Wright?" _ asked. It pained her to ask, but she needed to find out the truth. If he didn't tell her, she would most likely find out herself. How should I tell her, she will find out but I don't want her to worry. Her power is too powerful under stress! Phoenix worried.


Phoenix: What? If she’s stressed does she hulk-out?

Athena: She'll be like... She-Hulk!

Phoenix: (Memories...)

Quote:
"He has a ruptured diaphragm," Phoenix told her, "I don't know when he will be done, so it is best to wait." _ didn't want to wait any longer. She got up from the couch. She went to the kitchen to get her purse and walked out of her appartment. "Daddy, she walked out on us." Trucy said. Phoenix turned around to face his daughter. "I know Trucy, and I need Athena to go check on her." Phoenix told Trucy. Athena's face lit up at the mention of her name.


Apollo: Why couldn't I get a sprained ankle?

Phoenix: Because your name is not in the cover of the new gam-

Management: What did we tell you? No fourt-

All: WE KNOW!

Quote:
Finally, a job without me cleaning the toilets! She thought happily. "And once the job is done, she can be the first to unclog the toilet at the office!" Phoenix joked. Too late... Athena thought. Phoenix told her that he was joking. That earned him a slight nudge on the shoulder. She gathered her stuff and chased after _.


Phoenix: Ha Ha... but seriously you got to clean it next.

Athena: (Oh Goodie...)

[The light come back on.]

Apollo: Well... I've seen worse.

Trucy: See, worried for nothing.

Athena: You goes what to stop at Eldoon's. Your treat right Boss?

Phoenix: (My poor wallet…) Okay let's go.

[They all leave with worried still in their mind of their next visit]

Leave some constructive criticism please. Have a nice day!
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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A wise man once said, "Once you leave out the impossible, what remains must be the truth." :godot:

@FlashFilms Nice job for your first sporking. You're pretty light with the rating system. I'd have given that one at least two Sahwits, but that's just me. I'll also point out that the characters, particularly Phoenix, are a little OOC at times. Their reactions ought to be a little more sarcastic, so it feels less like a review and more like a sporking - shots fired and all that. It may be that competition has become stricter lately, so I feel yours doesn't stand out as much, but practice makes perfect.

And this is just a nitpick, but
Quote:
Phoenix: Yes, but by sporking standers of bad I seen way worse.

I believe you mean "standards" and "I've seen" here. Please be careful with any spelling/grammar errors. They could end up sticking out in an otherwise enjoyable reading, especially if the fic doesn't have any apparent errors itself.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Thanks!
-Yeah, I could of been a bit more mean but a fic that offense me should do it. Looks like I need to get the big guns *brings out bag with sarcastic responds* this should do well.
-It's just when it come to writing I do better with characters I love to death compared to character I just love. I tend to know them more and know how they say stuff.
Quick Question
Spoiler:
Is their a way to write young Mia. She my favorite character and I know her very well. I understand if I can't.


-My biggest weakness with writing is not noticing obvious typos. I might as well start a typo counter! All jokes aside thank for the tips!


Typos :dahlia:: 2
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FlashFilms wrote:
Thanks!
-Yeah, I could of been a bit more mean but a fic that offense me should do it. Looks like I need to get the big guns *brings out bag with sarcastic responds* this should do well.
-It's just when it come to writing I do better with characters I love to death compared to character I just love. I tend to know them more and know how they say stuff.
Quick Question
Spoiler:
Is their a way to write young Mia. She my favorite character and I know her very well. I understand if I can't.


-My biggest weakness with writing is not noticing obvious typos. I might as well start a typo counter! All jokes aside thank for the tips!


Typos :dahlia:: 2

Go ahead and use characters you love to death! You don't have to restrict your choices. Practically any character can be invited. The ones in the first post are just the primary sporkers. And in this theater, time is not of the essence... that is, it doesn't matter when a character is from, as long as they don't know things they shouldn't (i.e. young Mia or pre-Godot Diego being aware of their own death/mishaps)

Besides, we now have a teleporter. I made good investment on that thing. More people should use it. >:C
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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I hope to see you post more, FlashFilms! Although you should definitely find someone to be your editor.
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Welcome to the team, FlashFilms!

I was hoping I'd get my spork done in time before the next was posted, but oh well. ^^ One more shouldn't be too hard to consider.

-Sorry to start my feedback off with a nitpick, but I notice you have some problems with spelling and punctuation. I won't dwell on it, so don't worry, but maybe somebody could proofread for you next time? (I can do it myself, if the spork isn't too long - I'm much faster at correcting texts than writing them.)
Also, please don't use green text, it's almost unreadable on the design I use. But I'll stop nitpicking now, I promise. ;)

-You're right, the fic really looks awkward in third person.

-Poor Apollo. Everything is out to get him, both in fics and in real life. ^^

-I find it funny how the "reader" in this shipfic is basically just a very basic Athena in disguise.
It reminds me of how it looks when I write fanfic, and every name or keyword is replaced by numbers.

-But Apollo, what do you have against ghosts? :D

-Nice Marvel vs. Capcom reference there.

-Your management skills need a bit of upgrading. Can't let those sporkers sass back at you like that. They are quick to develop an attitude. ;)

So far, a nice spork. Needs a bit of finetuning (especially on the spelling and punctuation, as I said), but it's a nice first spork. I hope we'll see more of you in the future. I'd like to watch you develop.
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Asking for a totally innocent reason, but what were everyone's least favorite/most disturbing characters? For example, Spark Brushel, Jean Armstrong (actually I love Jean Armstrong), Florent L'Belle, Director Hotti/Hickfield ... and the trio of annoying witnesses: Lotta Hart, Wendy Oldbag, and Larry Butz... thoughts?
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I haven't played AJ, but from what I saw of it, yes, Spark Brushel is an abomination.
I have a tendency to hate characters other people love, but we do have a thread about hated characters, so if you want to know which are the most hated, that thread will probabnly be the best source you can get.
Ah crap, the chapter looked so tiny, how did this get so bigTopic%20Title
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I swear I'm not a hypocrit. I'll build in a spoiler window so it's easier to read in two parts. Will try to keep future sporks shorter.

TODAY'S SPORK: Still Following the Law... walking around aimlessly.
Note: I actually had to change plans and delay Phoenix's punishment. I also had to change a few things I had already written, which is why it took so long.


Our sporkers today are:

-Phoenix Wright
Phoenix: I would say that I have better things to do, but that wouldn't be entirely true.

-Apollo Justice
Apollo: I do have better things to do, but it's not like that would change anything, would it?

-And... wait, did you come here alone? Where is Athena Cykes?
Apollo: She went ahead of us to "have a look at that snack bar she keeps hearing so much about". Shouldn't you know this? It's your theater. I thought you were watching everything.

Oh... I mean, of course. Obviously. We knew about that. Well then - off you go.
Phoenix: Are we the only ones today?

Yes, you are. Why, were you expecting somebody else? Missing your boyfriend, perhaps?
Phoenix: ...

-Good. Proceed to your seats, then.

(Apollo and Phoenix march off to their assigned theater, where Athena has already chosen two seats so she has some space to put her snacks.)

Athena: Oh, there you are. You should have told me about the prices here! That popcorn is the most expensive one I have ever seen. And I have seen Switzerland.

Apollo: (Is there any country in Europe she hasn't seen?)
Quote:
Date: January 22, Time: 13:15pm, Location: Hotti Clinic, Private Room 2b
Time for another inspection of Evie's room.

Athena: Good thinking, since we haven't seen it for so long. *smirks and takes a sip of soda*

Speakers: The management would like to inform Athena Cykes that we pick up on her barely concealed criticism of our time management.

Phoenix: I thought she was just being sarcastic because the fic had us there a good ten minutes or so ago, in-universe.

Speakers: Don't defend her. You're already awaiting punishment for your continuous rulebreaking. Also, it has been over an hour in the fic. Unless you wish to observe it in real time, we suggest you sit back and pay attention.

Phoenic: *looking defeated* ...Yes, ma'am.
Quote:
"What in the…?! Mr Hotti, what are you doing in here?!" Pearls raised her arm to punch him.
"Aaah! Don't hit me! …Hmmm…yes…I was just…looking for something…"
"Looking for what?" I asked.
"Erm…I'll be leaving now." And with that he left. What a weird man.

Apollo: This is the one time he is actually acting like a sensible person, and of course, fic-you thinks that's weird. ...Are we sure this isn't a troll fic?

Phoenix: I won't be on it. After what I've seen in this theater, I learned not to expect common sense from a fanfic author.
Quote:
"I hope he didn't steal anything…" Pearls frowned.
Commencing with the search of Evie's room, I next examined her crutches.

Apollo: You know what, I just noticed something. If her crutches are there, and she's at the detention center - how did she get there? Did the police just carry her? Did she crawl?

Athena: Maybe she had a spare pair. A Sunday pair or something. *takes a handful of popcorn*

Phoenix: Even if she had, wouldn't a hospital room be the last place on Earth where she'd need it? I mean, if she'd lose her crutches in a hospital... somehow, let's say flushing them down the toilet for all I care, wouldn't it be incredibly easy to get a new pair? Easier than limping back to her room, certainly. All she'd have to do is call out for a nurse.
Quote:
"Do you reckon Evie uses these often?" Pearls asked.
"Probably. Her leg was crushed…hang on! If she had to use these to get everywhere, then these could be a vital clue!"
Evie's crutches added to the Court Record.
"Hmmm…we haven't been to the crime scene yet, Mr Nick." Pearls said.
Date: January 22, Time: 13:30pm, Location: Hotti Clinic, Staffroom 2
The crime scene was in some sort of staff room, where the Doctors ate and socialized on their small breaks. In the middle of the room was some tape, where the victim's body was found, along with a pool of dried blood.

Phoenix: Again: Hospital! You would think that in a hospital, they'd know of a few ways to stop a bleeding.

Apollo: *pondering* What if the two were alone in there? Maybe all the other doctors were on shift.

Athena: Stop trying to actually make sense of it, Apollo. Here, let me show you how it's done: *strikes pose* The doctor was dead all along. Someone from the police just cut their finger on the tape and that's how the blood- no, wait! The blood wasn't even human. The fanfic sensed its own badness and killed itself for the greater good, bleeding on this scene in the process.

Apollo: So then they did stop the bleeding and revived the fic, and that's why we're still here reviewing it?

Athena: Exactamente. As Mr. Wright always says: You just have to think outside the box.

Phoenix: (Something tells me this is not what Mia had in mind when she taught me this.)
Quote:
Examining the area where the tape was, there wasn't really any evidence to go on.
"Wait a sec…" What I thought was a weird splash of blood was actually…Evie's name. Written in the victim's blood.

Phoenix: Why is it always blood? Does nobody carry a pen anymore? And why is it always a name? A name could mean just about anything. It could be a warning that they are the murderer or the next intended victim; it could mean they are a close loved one who needs to be notified... or maybe the victim just wanted to write "person X has an ugly hat" and didn't have enough time.
Quote:
"Well, damn." Trucy said for me.
On the staff noticeboard, there was a few newspaper articles about recent successes, again no important evidence found.
"Mr Nick, check this out!" Pearls called me over to the other side of the room, where she held what looked like a crumpled up note. On it, the note read:
Doctor Jones,
If you know what is best for you, you will comply with my demands.
Have the money in my room by 10pm on the date specified, or I WILL be suing you.
Take care,
Evie Law

Athena: *keels over with laughter and accidentally spits her mouthful of soda in Apollo's lap*

Apollo: Hey! Watch it, will you? (Now I know why they call it a fountain drink...)

Athena: *still laughing* S-sorry. *wipes her face* It's just, did the author want it to be an obvious fake, or is this really what they think a blackmail note looks like? "My demands"? "The money"? "The date specified"? What, did she send him a separate note specifying each detail? Why did she tell him the date last? Did she have to check with his secretary? And then she signs with her name? To make sure he remembers who sent this, like he has a douzen other patients blackmailing him and he can't keep track who wants what from him? What if he forgot "the date specified"? Is he just supposed to stand in her room at 10pm every day until it's the right one? And why does he need to be there at 10pm? Isn't she in her room most of the time? And why-

Phoenix: Athena, calm down! You're already turning purple.
Quote:
Hmm, there are ink smudges on the note right hand side of the note.

Athena: And who wants to bet she's lefthanded, and this will be taken as evidence later?

Apollo: Of course it will. Even though a smudge can easily be made with either hand and doesn't really indicate anything, as nobody in this fic is going to point out.
Spoiler: Split for length
Quote:
"Look at the back, too."
Turning the piece of paper over, there was a part of a document. What was legible read:
-it is absolutely essential that the patient
-several fractures to the ribs, resulting
-operation is finished, put Miss Reed on
-her and make sure she recovers fully.
"It looks like a part of a document entailing surgery on a Miss Reed." I state.

Apollo: Who says "Miss Reed" has to be a patient? She could be a nurse. Or some surgeon's annoying wife, and the sentence was "if she starts calling again before the operation is finished, put Miss Reed on hold".

Phoenix: No, she's a patient, and the message is the essential piece of evidence that will reveil the true culprit. Trust me. I know, because I have seen this happen before in the ga- I mean case... set of cases I took during my early years as a lawyer. Which is obviously what this author is copying, I mean getting inspiration from.
Quote:
"Odd, Evie is not a doctor." Trucy gave me a knowing smile.
"Which suggests that she may not have written this note." I smirked back.

Athena: I like how your fic self thought it was the real thing until he turned it over. Is that based on your early years, too?

Phoenix: No, that's just the author trying to create suspense.
Quote:
Note added to the Court Record.
"I think it's about time we paid Miss Law another visit, and see if we can break her three psyche-locks." Pearls smiled too.
Date: January 22, Time: 13:58pm, Location: Detention Centre, Visitors Room
"You're back." Evie raised an eyebrow at us.
"Yes, and we've gathered some pretty…interesting evidence."
Evie straightened up, ready to listen. She may say she doesn't care, but it's pretty obvious she does.

Apollo: This author really needs to decide if they want to write their fic in past or present tense.

Athena: What did I tell you about using common sense on this fic? See, of course it is now obvious she cares, because this whole thing took place twenty years ago, and she is smarter in hindsight. And the author's roommate. They asked her for her opinion just now.

Apollo: And she likes the fic?

Athena: She likes that her character is finally attempting to participate. *shoves some more popcorn into her mouth*
Quote:
"Take that!" I presented her with the magatama. The psyche-locks reappeared.
"Miss Law, I know you were lying about having a grudge against the victim, Igor Jones."
"What makes you say that?"
"Take that!" I presented her with the photo of her and Edgeworth. She winced at that, grabbing at her elbows.

Phoenix: How does this prove anything? "You were lying about having a grudge against the victim. Here's a picture of your potential boyfriend".

Athena: I'll leave this chance to you, Apollo.

Apollo: (I never asked for this...) *sighs* Okay, how about the victim was actually her ex boyfriend? And she expressed her grudge against him by having her pictures taken with Mr. Edgeworth and leaving them all over the place? Does that make sense? Do I get a cookie?

Athena: No, but you can have the rest of my popcorn if you want. There's not much left anyhow.
Quote:
"You were obviously devastated at your memory loss, and Edgeworth was there to comfort you every day."
"S…so?! That doesn't prove anything!"
I shook my head. "This was taken three months ago by the fake director; he told us that your memory was particularly bad on that day. It's only natural for you to hold a grudge against the Victim because of that."
A psyche-lock broke.

Phoenix: If her memory was that bad, how did she even remember what she was holding a grudge over? Or the details of her mysterious demands, for that matter?
Quote:
"Fine…but so what? I might have a grudge, but I wouldn't say it's that big."
"And I would say it is."
"…!"
"It meant that you had to miss out on an opportunity."
"And what opportunity is that?"
"Take that!" I presented her with the letter from the CPS in England, "It meant you missed out on prosecuting in England."
"…! You went through my stuff?!"
A second psyche-lock broke.
"So I missed that opportunity. I do NOT have a grudge against that guy." She was huffing with anger.

Apollo: But she already admitted she did. Now she's just moving backwards to drag out the fic.
Quote:
"Take that!" I presented the document on her brain damage. "Evie, his failure left you with brain damage. It's impossible to feel no anger or resentment towards that."

Apollo: And he already used that argument on her. Why do we have to go through it all again?

Phoenix: Maybe the author is the one with memory problems... or the attention span of a Teletubby.
Quote:
"…" She looked down at the floor, and her final psyche-lock shattered.
"I'm not saying you killed him, and I believe that you didn't, but you did have a grudge against him."

Phoenix: Uhm, yeah. You can stop now, fic-me. We all got your point.

Athena: I think I just spotted the easiest way to write a fanfic. But instead of the defendant, you'd have to give the judge memory loss. Then you could just repeat the same question-to-the-witness, answer, witty-objection routine over and over and over again for, say, 5 chapters or so. Genius!

Phoenix: I don't think you'd get a lot of positive feedback for that one.
Quote:
"…Alright, I did. Like you said, it'd be impossible not to. I just…I was so lost…at first I could even remember who Miles was, it broke me…" she bit her lip.

Phoenix: That's understandable. If I lost half my memories and still remembered Edgeworth, I would be worried, too.
Quote:
"It's alright. I just needed to get the truth from you, it's impossible for me to proceed without a two-way balance of trust between us." I gave her a smile.
She smiled back. "Ok, I understand. Is there anything else?"
"There are a few things I was wondering about. Could you tell me about this letter from the CPS in England?"
"Oh, that. Before I met Miles I studied in England, I wanted to be a Prosecutor you see. I was apparently a prodigy.

Phoenix: Because, of course she was.

Athena: *folds her arms in protest* Hey, no hating on prodigies, if you please.
Quote:
But after a year of prosecuting, I realized it wasn't actually getting me anywhere. I was no closer to finding the truth, plus I hated sending people to jail, regardless of their innocence..or lack thereof.

Apollo: If she knew people were innocent and still "sent them to jail", she was not a very good prosecutor.
Quote:
The Crown Prosecution Service has always wanted me to come back though, even though I keep turning them down."
"I see…what did you mean by 'no closer to the truth'?"
"As you went through my things earlier, no doubt you found that case file. I've spent my life trying to find the man who killed my mom 23 years ago; it's why I became a Prosecutor – so I could personally send him to jail." A dark aura overcame her.

Phoenix: Ah yes, the dark aura of stealing other people's backstory. Very tragic. It threatens to suck all the recycled aspects out of an OC's soul, and leave only the original essence behind. In other words, in the case of Evie Law here: An empty shell and some crutches.

Athena: That sounds strangely poetic.

Apollo: And strangely depressing. Isn't she supposed to become a main character at some point?
Quote:
"But aren't you a defense attorney now?" Pearls asked, confused.
"Oh, that's because I wanted to defend those unfortunate people that that man framed."
"Elaborate."
"That man…he frames people for his crimes. I defend those people."

Athena: "And I'm not going to say his name until we've wasted our time asking other people for clues for at least another three or four chapters."

Apollo: It sounds like a joke, but that's probably exactly what's going to happen.
Quote:
"I see," there's probably no more information I can get from her about that.
Next, I presented her with the newspaper clipping.
"Oh, that. Funnily enough, I don't remember what happened." She chuckled.
…Helpful.
I presented her with her crutches.

Phoenix: At this point, you can just tell fic-me is getting desperate.
Quote:
"My spare crutches." She told me.
"Spare?!"

Athena: Ha! I got it right. I should have bet money on this.

Phoenix: I still think it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Quote:
"My usual ones were found in an…inconvenient place." She started sweating.
"Let me guess…the crime scene."

Phoenix: Wait, what? That makes even less sense! If her original crutches were left at the crime scene, and her spare pair was left in her room, then how did she get to the detention center? How did she even enter the room to see me? Did she fly?
Quote:
"Covered in the victim's blood. I was also found there, unconscious and with the gun in my hand. The police reckon I shot him, and then had a fit – hence why I was unconscious."
"…Well." I huffed. Brilliant, just. Bloody. Brilliant.
TO BE CONTINUED

Phoenix: Well, at least we don't have to watch them team up just yet. I'm not exactly dying to see that happen.

Athena: I think she's not as bad as she was at the beginning, though. At least she talks now. And it looks like you unlocked some new facial expressions, too.

Apollo: I'd still say she's pretty bad. I mean, she looks shallow to me, and I don't even know what she's recycled from. It's like she's a ghost of a person... all plot device, no personality. Even her body language looks remote controlled. I just hope this fic won't be a long one.

Speakers: Then we might just have some very good news for you. As of today, this fic has yet to receive a further update. You have seen all there is of it... for now.

Apollo: Really? That's weird...

Athena: *fakes crying* And it had so much potential!

Speakers: Rest assured, though, that you will not miss out on any future updates there may be. As for Phoenix Wright, now...

Phoenix: *sweats nervously* (I hear my name, and I don't want to hear what's following.)

Speakers: ...your punishment has been slightly delayed in order for you to finish this chapter. However, the management never forgets. We will see you again soon.

Phoenix: *gulp*

(And so our sporkers are dismissed and leave our theater once more - two of them in a slightly better mood than the third. Somewhere out there, the next "invitations" are already on their way...)
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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blackquills from the womb to the tomb

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ok guys
which fic would you most like to see spork'd

also
can we use characters that arent actually
on the original post
because dual destinies
and by that i mean . . simon and aura
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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@Pessimistic_Fool: That was hilarious. I love it.

@nightvalian: We've actually had Simon Blackquill in the theatre before. If you haven't read any previous sporkings, you should definitely do that before starting on one of your own. And let's see... of all the fics we've linked to lately, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one haven't been sporked/claimed.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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I just read one of the fics and I have one thing to say...
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10457578/1/Phoenix-Wright-Gets-Hit-in-the-Nuts
What did I just read?!? If no one wants it I be glad to take it!
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FlashFilms wrote:
I just read one of the fics and I have one thing to say...
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10457578/1/Phoenix-Wright-Gets-Hit-in-the-Nuts
What did I just read?!? If no one wants it I be glad to take it!


But...the twist...is so good...
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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m night shyamalan would be proud...
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Yatta.

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Posts: 5991

Don't mind if I pop in again. Airey, you asked for it.

achtung baby

Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit:
It was a silly fic at heart, and I will treat it as such. That said, my evil side just loves messing with Klavier and any silly shenanigans between the characters involving texts.

I hope this won't be too long a read. I did it in one go, just to try out the technique. And please excuse any awkward German usage. I've never studied it, and Google Translate isn't always the best.

--------------------------------

Speakers: Well, while we wait on the appropriate punishment sporking for our favorite rule-breaker whose name is not Kay Faraday, we will offer a special feature presentation today! Now, sporkers, at attention!

Apollo Justice!
:apollo: Huh? Hey, isn't the title of this sporking a little different?

Athena Cykes!
:athena: And here I was expecting another round of boring vocab. This could mean something!

Klavier Gavin!
:klavier: If I'm here today, I'm sure we'll be expecting a little action, don't you think?

And the newest fan favorites who aren't Athena Cykes, Simon Blackquill and Taka!
:simon: So we appear once and now we're already "fan favorites"? Surely you would hold higher standards than that.
:taka: *shakes head*

Apollo: ...Athena, where'd you get the sparkling cider?

Athena: The snack bar. *sip*

Apollo: They have sparkling cider now?

Athena: You should stop by the bar first whenever you come here. There's always the chance they show something different!

Apollo: Speaking of different... What happened to the last fic we were supposed to spork? "Word of the Day", right?

Speakers: It's on hold. We got bored so we switched to something else.

Apollo: That's... that's just great.

Athena: I never thought the Management has such a low attention span. You learn something new everyday, I guess.

Klavier: They're unusually honest this time, ja? You'd expect some hidden meaning behind those words.

Everyone: ...

Apollo: ...Gavin, I hope you haven't jinxed anything yet.

Klavier: Trust me, Herr Forehead, you shouldn't be too optimistic with these people.

Apollo: (Is he still hung up over that one rape fic? It's not like it's the first time he's been in one...)

Athena: Oh, don't be such worrywarts! At least this sporking doesn't have a "part 1" attached to it!

Taka: <_<

Blackquill: ...A single shot does not excuse a defendant from judgment.

Athena: ...It doesn't mean it's murder, though.

Blackquill: Naturally, it's something far worse.

The intrepid group of sporkers promptly take their seats, but the atmosphere seems a little wary overall as the movie begins.

Quote:
achtung baby

Apollo: ...You know what, this might not be as bad as I'd thought.

Klavier: Funny... I just thought of the exact opposite.

Athena: Well, all I see is two words, one of which is German.

Blackquill: You don't seem to look very far, do you, Cykes-dono?

Athena: That's not what I meant and you know it!

Spoiler: Text space
Quote:
January 3, 1:30 AM, Apollo Justice's Apartment

The phone buzzed.

Apollo sat up groggily. Granted, his phone hadn't really woken him up - he was having one of those nights when he couldn't manage more than a half-doze - and he would be getting up in an hour and a half anyway - but dang it, he was tired. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he checked his phone.

A text from an unknown number: "I'm pregnant. It's yours."

Apollo: Oh, very funny. I don't even have a girlfriend yet.

Klavier: Must be a sad life you live.

Apollo: (At least I don't have people screaming outside my door all the time, Gavin.)

Athena: This isn't going to be another of those Apollo x Mary Sue types, is it?

Apollo: If so, then this is worse because we haven't even gotten her name.

Blackquill: ...I question if it is even a "girl" as you say.

Apollo: P-prosecutor Blackquill, please don't go there!

Quote:
Apollo stared at the little screen for almost a full minute before registering what it said. Pregnant? Mine? he thought, confused, who's pregnant? He texted back: "I think you have the wrong number. Who is this?"

The reply was almost immediate - whoever it was, she was a fast typist. "I'm sure this is the right number, Apollo. It's the one you left me."

When did I leave someone my number? Apollo thought, much less get someone pregnant… then again, how many guys named "Apollo" are there in this city? He texted back again. "I'm sorry, but what? Are you sure you have the right Apollo?"

The swift message back: "Of course you don't remember… you were pretty drunk…"

"What," Apollo said, out loud this time. He wasn't exactly the drinking type, although admittedly he couldn't hold his grape juice. Who was the last woman he was drunk around… wait. "Are you who I think you are?" he typed.

Apollo: What? The only one who's a grape-juice-aholic around here is Mr. Wright! Don't put me with him!

Klavier: Hmm? And here I thought you really looked up to him.

Apollo: He's not that bad... but he does have his moments, and a lot of them.

Athena: Any story in particular?

Apollo: Nope. (Not that I'd tell you, at least.)

Quote:
"I just got a new phone."

Apollo stared at the little screen for another minute. No way. "Ema?" he sent.

"Yes."

Now Apollo was starting to wish he had deleted the text without reading it. "Are you sure?" he typed, "I do really, really like you, but I don't think either of us are ready to be parents. Especially since I don't remember," he paused, looking for the most delicate possible phrasing, "the conception. You should probably abort it." He paused again, deleted the last line and replaced it with, "What's your view on abortion?" then hit send.

Apollo: ...Well, at least it's not a Mary Sue.

Athena: Who knows? Ema might be a Mary Sue in this fic.

Apollo: ...No. Even as a bad romance fic, no.

Klavier: Ahem. Need I remind you what happened during my last visit?

Apollo: ...Why are YOU of all people dredging that up again?

Quote:
There was a long pause before Ema texted back, except the reply wasn't anything like he expected.

"wow herr forehead youre surprisingly heartless"

Apollo threw his phone across the room. If word of this got to Ema somehow, he was going to make sure Klavier suffered the same fate...

All: ...

Apollo: Somehow, I'm not surprised.

Klavier: ...Am I drunk in this fic?

Apollo: I wouldn't be surprised about that either.

Athena: Well, fic-you did actually believe this random text for a moment there.

Apollo: I prefer to think that fic-me was more interested with why this person was texting me so late at night.

Blackquill: In that case, you'd better off report it to the police and track the caller's ID yourself.

Apollo: (If I'm stuck with all the work anyway, why bother?)

Quote:
January 3, 1:45 AM, Ema Skye's Apartment

"No, it's fine," Ema mumbled to the completely empty room as she picked up her phone, "it's not like I was sleeping or anything. It's not like I have to go to work in a few hours and I really need energy for it." She checked the new text message, still muttering to herself, "it's not like the human body needs at least six hours of sleep a night to function. It's not like you never recover lost sl…" she trailed off when she actually read the message.

"Hey, Ema?" it said, "it's Apollo. Remember that time we both got really drunk? Well, to make a long story short, you might want to get yourself checked."

Huh? Ema thought. What time she and Apollo both got really drunk? She could certainly remember a time Apollo got really drunk, but her? "Checked for what?" she texted back.

"I should have told you about this earlier," Apollo texted back, "but it might be wise if you went and got a pregnancy test. I'm sure it'll be fine, though."

Apollo: Prosecutor Gavin, you know you're in for a world of hurt when she finds out you've been posing as me.

Klavier: Don't be ridiculous, Herr Forehead. I wouldn't need a new phone to pose as you.

Apollo: What? She's not that clueless.

Klavier: No, I mean I could just use your phone.

Apollo: ...Like hell I'd lend it to you.

Athena: ...So what's up with that ringtone anyway?

Apollo: Not now, Athena...

Quote:
Ema spent another minute staring blankly at her phone, unsure if she laugh or… what. How on earth did Apollo possibly come to that conclusion? "Apollo," she texted back, "you DO know where babies come from, right?"

"Do you not remember it?"

Ema sighed. Did Apollo somehow forget that Ema rarely drank after that one incident on New Year's a year ago?

"Apollo," she typed, "mammals internally fertilize through copulation. After a male ejaculates, many sperm move to the upper vagina (via contractions from the vagina) through the cervix and across the length of the uterus to meet the ovum. In cases where fertilization occurs, the female usually ovulates during a period that extends from hours before copulation to a few days after; therefore, in most mammals it is more common for ejaculation to precede ovulation than vice versa. ...

Speakers: Yyyeah... let's just skip most of this scientific jargon.

Athena: What? Just a little science gets to you guys already?

Speakers: It was 52 lines of copy-pasting from Wikipedia on the process of mammalian fertilization, among other related things.

Athena: ...Never mind.

Apollo: Wait. Why would Ema bother copying all that in the first place? From her phone, no less.

Speakers: Speak nothing of this passage, peoples. Moving on.

Quote:
She hit send. The reply was a lot more immediate than she expected.

"wtf fraulien did you just copy and paste the wikipedia article on pregnancy or…?"

"I'm coming after you in the morning, fop."

"please dont kill me"

"I can't guarantee anything."

Athena: Geez, Prosecutor Gavin sure has a hard time keeping his identity hidden.

Apollo: Actually, I'm kinda liking how things are progressing.

Klavier: ...And I'll be coming after you tonight, Herr Forehead.

Apollo: ... (With what, exactly? Wait, I'd better not ask.)

Quote:
January 3, 2:00 AM, Athena Cykes' Apartment

Athena: Oh! It's my turn now!

Quote:
Athena was awake anyway, so when her phone chimed, she immediately checked it.

"I really should have told you earlier, but… it might be a good idea to get yourself tested."

Athena tilted her head at her phone. "tested? tested for what?" she texted back. "and who are you? you're not in my contacts."

"I got a new phone," the mystery texter replied, "And there's a possibility that I got you pregnant. Sorry."

Athena: Hah! It doesn't work after the first few times it's happened!

All: ...

Athena: Wait, no! I meant getting these kinds of texts!

Taka: `へ̂´

Athena: ...Oh, come on! What kind of girl do you think I am!?

Taka: ... *shakes head*

Athena: ...I'm not sure which is worse: this awkward silence or getting shut down by a bird.

Quote:
Athena tilted her head at her phone in the opposite direction this time. "i didn't know heavenly hosts used text messages nowadays."

"Excuse me?"

"tu m'as bien entendu. am i the new virgin mary? is this the second coming?"

"was?"

"am i allowed to name the child anything other than jesus christ, or would i get struck by lightning?"

The mystery texter did not text back after that.

Athena: Now that's how you shut down these kinds of people!

Apollo: ...I'm wondering why he replied with "was".

Klavier: It's German for "what", you know.

Apollo: Well, I mean fic-you could have meant something else entirely...

Klavier: ...True.

Blackquill: ... *chortle*

Taka: `͜ ´

Athena: Okay, that's it! I'm not stopping by with any of you for the next few sporkings!

Speakers: Sorry to say, you're not the judge of that.

Athena: Mmph.

Quote:
January 3, 2:15 AM, Simon Blackquill's House

Blackquill: ...

Apollo: What? You think you were going to escape Prosecutor Gavin's prank calls?

Blackquill: ...I held a bit of hope on the off chance I would.

Quote:
Blackquill received two rapid texts in succession.

The first one: "Hey, Athena, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I just can't take the uncertainty anymore. Have you taken a pregnancy test lately? I think I might have knocked you up…"

The second: "MEIN GOTT HERR BLACKQUILL I DID NOT MEAN TO SEND THAT TO YOU PLEASE DONT KILL ME"

Blackquill: ...That was resolved relatively well.

Klavier: ...I assure you, Herr Blackquill, that I would not confuse your number for anyone else's.

Blackquill: I don't recall ever giving it to you in the first place.

Klavier: I-it's hypothetically speaking, of course.

Taka: ...

Klavier: ...netter Vogel.

Quote:
Well, Blackquill might as well give him a chance. A chance. "Gavin-dono," he texted, "that text had better be a poor attempt at a prank."

"oh believe me it was"

"You did not get Athena pregnant?"

"no i swear i did not touch her" There was a pause of many seconds. "hang on smths tapping at my window"

Blackquill smirked. It looked like Taka had arrived swiftly…

Athena: ...Wait. When did Taka leave? And why do you keep a hawk in your house?

Apollo: Yeah, doesn't it live in the courthouse?

Blackquill: How naive of you two. Taka roams where he pleases. The entire town is his grounds.

Taka: ˉへˉ *nod*

Blackquill: And besides... Taka is very aware of where each of you live.

Athena: ...

Apollo: ...

Klavier: ...Surely you jest, Herr Blackquill.

Blackquill: Need a demonstration?

Klavier: N-no, thank you.

Quote:
January 3, 2:30 AM, Wright Anything Agency

The years had not made Wright's snoring any more tolerable, and consequently Edgeworth was still more or less awake when his phone alerted him to a new text message.

All: ...Huh?

Blackquill: Why is Edgeworth-dono resting at Wright-dono's office?

Apollo: They're even sleeping together... Don't they have their respective places to return to?

Athena: Maybe they're just bunking down after a long night of something?

All else: ...

Athena: ...I-I meant a game of poker.

Blackquill: Why?

Apollo: More like "what kind".

Klavier: Mein Gott, Herr Forehead, what's gotten into that huge forehead of yours?

Apollo: Many days and nights being here... (I'm not being punished for anything, am I?)

Quote:
"I'm pregnant. It's yours," it said.

"Congratulations," Edgeworth texted back, "but you have the wrong number. Good night."

Unfortunately, the pregnant lady texted back. "No, this is the right number. I'm sure of it."

"Who is this?"

"The mother to your baby…"

Edgeworth pinched the bridge of his nose. Perhaps Larry had left Edgeworth's phone number with some one-night stand or other…? "I'm afraid that's quite impossible," he replied, "although I would be willing to help you find the true father of your baby."

Athena: Larry? As in, the same Larry we've seen in here?

Apollo: Yeah, who else?

Athena: ...Well, now that I think about it, that does sound like something he'd do.

Blackquill: ...Then, perhaps the first time I meet him, I may offer him a sample of my blade.

Apollo: (Uh, that might be going a little far, Blackquill... and yet, I could see Mr. Edgeworth agreeing to it.)

Quote:
"It's you, though."

"Again, that is impossible."

There was a span of about a minute before a new text appeared on Edgeworth's phone - either the woman had paused to consider something, or she had suddenly started typing a lot slower. "Are you impotent or something?"

Edgeworth wondered if it was worth replying at this point, but did so anyway: "No. However, you still have the wrong number."

Blackquill: Bah. This is all but a waste of his precious time.

Apollo: ...Yeah, 'cause he's better off going back to sleep with Mr. Wright.

Athena: You know... the more I think about it, the sweeter it gets.

Apollo: What? Why? How?

Klavier: Need you even ask?

Apollo: ...

Quote:
Another pause. "I've always had my suspicions about you, Herr Edgeworth…" then right after that, "oops."

"We will be having a discussion about this tomorrow morning, of course, Gavin," Edgeworth replied.

Athena: Aw, and for a moment there, I thought he'd leave without spoiling himself.

Klavier: It's gotten rather tiring.

Apollo: ...

Klavier: Put that grin elsewhere.

Quote:
"hey i just got a new phone you cant blame me"

"I expect an experienced prosecutor to behave more maturely than this."

"also can you ask herr blackquill to call off his bird"

"Ask him yourself." Edgeworth put his phone back on the bedside table and returned to bed.

"Who was that?" Wright asked sleepily as Edgeworth's phone buzzed from a few more ignored messages.

"A certain rock star prosecutor who should be looking forward to his next salary review," Edgeworth said.

Athena: Ouch, burn.

Apollo: I'm still confused as to why Prosecutor Gavin would even get a new phone.

Klavier: Likewise. Mine works perfectly well as it is, and I wouldn't dare send a text to Herr Edgeworth without a good reason... even if I was drunk.

Athena: ...Does he even text?

Apollo: ...Good question. I've never seen him with a phone for texting.

Quote:
January 3, 2:45 AM, Wright Anything Agency

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

"Hey, Trucy, sweetie, I meant to tell you earlier… but it might be a good idea to get a pregnancy test. You know, just in case. Your dad still doesn't know, right?" … "Oops, wrong number! Who is this?"

"You had better be kidding, Gavin."

"ach howd you know it was me"

"Edgeworth told me what you were up to."

Athena: Wow, epic fail.

Apollo: And in rapid succession too. What a night.

Klavier: There's no doubt about it. I must be drunk in this fic.

Blackquill: If so, there's plenty more than the hangover to suffer through the next morning.

Klavier: ...Good thing this never actually happened.

Quote:
"its two in the morning, how on earth did herr edgeworth tell you what i was up to? unless…"

Oops.

"youre in the same bed as him arent you"

"That's none of your business."

"it explains a lot though. anyway haha entschuldigung for interrupting you two herr wright hahaha"

"Gavin, I swear…"

"achtung baby"

Apollo: ...There's a bed at the office? I must have missed it all those times I stopped by.

Athena: Maybe it's some sort of fold-up bed from the couches?

Apollo: Nah. If there was, I would have used it long ago.

Klavier: ...Sleeping on the job? Surely, that wouldn't pass very well with Herr Wright?

Apollo: Actually, it's more likely he'd wake me up just so he could use it instead.

Blackquill: ...You defense attorneys have my pity.

Quote:
January 3, 3:00 AM, Gavin Estate

Athena: Now we come to the source!

Apollo: Now I expect someone else to return the favor.

Klavier: ...

Quote:
Apart from the hawk attack and the fact that his boss was irritated at him, Klavier was having a lot of fun with his new phone. Wasn't it great when no one knew that behind that number was the amazing rock star/prosecutor, Klavier Gavin? Of course it was.

Apollo: Too bad the only one you didn't give yourself away to was Athena.

Athena: Well, I am an expert at these situations.

Apollo: (What? When?)

Quote:
He scrolled through the contacts list he had just transferred over from his old phone. Who else would have a hilarious reaction to being texted in the middle of the night about the prospect of giving birth? A certain name caught his eye… of course. Franziska von Karma.

Klavier: Oh, no. Oh, no no no...

Apollo: (Oh, yes.)

Quote:
He wouldn't even have to pretend to be anyone else for this one. "hey franziska i just realized something," he texted her.

It was a few minutes before she replied. "What do you want, Piano Gavin? I was trying to sleep, so it had better be important."

Athena: Wow, he's gotten gutsy! Not bothering to hide behind an anonymous call!

Apollo: More like desperate. He knows he'll just mess it up one way or another.

Klavier: ...P- "Piano Gavin"?

Quote:
"of course franziska i just wanted to ask if youve had a pregnancy test lately"

"A pregnancy test."

"yes its possible that w" Klavier stopped mid-word. He just realized… in their situation, a pregnancy test might actually be a good idea.

Klavier: W-was...? What is going on here!?

Apollo: Prosecutor Gavin and... F-Franziska von Karma? (That lady with the whip who's shown up here?)

Athena: Who?

Blackquill: A veteran prosecutor who began her career in Germany. She was dubbed the "Prosecutor Prodigy" given how early she began.

Athena: Hmm... but does she beat 18?

Blackquill: She was 13 on her first case.

Athena: W-what!? (I... I feel so... defeated...)

Quote:
"This had better be a joke, Piano Gavin," Franziska had texted back in the meantime.

"no im serious just check it out," Klavier texted, feeling the blood drain from his face, "i think i actually remember something going wrong last time"

Another long pause, then a reply in which Klavier counted fifty-seven separate uses of the word "fool" or a variation thereof.

Athena: Whoa, fifty-seven?

Apollo: ...Has she ever accomplished that many uses of "fool"?

Blackquill: None that come even close... but I do agree that she uses too many on a frequent basis.

Apollo: (...I wonder if Blackquill actually had to face one barrage.)

Quote:
"i swear i only just remembered," Klavier texted, sweating. Franziska didn't reply.

Fifteen minutes later, Klavier was beginning to think that maybe he was overreacting. The doorbell suddenly rang, and he pushed all thoughts of babies - his babies - out of his mind. If someone was ringing his doorbell at a quarter after three in the morning, they were probably in trouble.

Or he was in trouble, Klavier dimly reflected as his opening the door resulted in a sudden storm of whiplashes.

Blackquill: And finally, someone has put this fool in his place.

Apollo: (Now that was refreshing.)

Klavier: Herr Pepper, I suggest you put that grin elsewhere.

Apollo: H-herr Pepper? (Great, now even he's come to call me that...)

Quote:
January 3, 3:30 AM, Gavin Estate

When Klavier came to, Franziska was already gone. However, there was something lying on his kitchen table that hadn't been there before.

A positive pregnancy test.

All: ...

Apollo: (Klavier Gavin, a father... that's more disturbing than finding out Mr. Wright had a daughter.)

Athena: ...Somehow, I don't think that kid would do very well with these parents.

Blackquill: I doubt the child would even be born.

Klavier: ...

Athena: ...Hey, Apollo. Prosecutor Gavin's looking a little green.

Apollo: Just leave him. He'll come around. (...Who's the "pepper" now, Gavin?)


And once the lights return, everyone relieves a sigh.

Apollo: It's over, right? There aren't any other parts to this, right?

Speakers: That's right. Rejoice if you must.

Apollo: (Yes!)

Athena: Well, that one wasn't that bad after all!

Blackquill: ...Somewhat amusing, I admit.

Klavier: ...Beats the last one, I suppose.

Athena: Aw, cheer up, Prosecutor Gavin! If you want some sparkling cider now, there's plenty at the snack bar!

Klavier: No, but thanks, Fraulein. I'll just be on my way...

Blackquill: Same here. I've dawdled long enough. Come, Taka.

Taka: *chirp*

The prosecutors take their leave, and the other two linger a little longer.

Athena: Too bad... well, before we go, there's one more thing we should do, Apollo!

Apollo: Huh? What?

Athena: Grab a glass of OJ and sprint back to the office!

Apollo: ...Aren't you supposed to have the OJ after you sprint, not before?

Athena: Hey, there's always a little time to change up the routine now and again!

Apollo: (...Don't complain to me if you throw up later.)

And now that they've left, peace has once again returned to the Sporking Theater... for now.

???: *bark-bark*

Speakers: What? Who let a dog in here? Shoo, no pets allowed.

The little Pomeranian just smiles back at them, tongue lolling out, and scampers away.

Speakers: First, a girl who can ignore our rules and now cats and dogs are dropping by. What has happened to this place's security!? You two there!

Guards: Yes, sirs!

Speakers: If we see any animals or girls running around the place again, you're both fired! We have plenty of replacements, if you must know!

Guards: *gulp* Y-yes, sirs!

Speakers: Honestly, does keeping this place in order have to be so tedious? Now as for that punishment sporking for that particular offender... whose name is not Kay Faraday... mweheheheh.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.


Last edited by Rubia Ryu the Royal on Thu Aug 28, 2014 6:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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That was so beautiful. *tears of joy*
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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While everyone's waiting for Pessimistic_Fool to finish up their sporking, I figured I'd post some fanart~
Image
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

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Now THAT is beautiful. It's been forever since we had any fanart pop up from this theater. Now where's the one of Nick going insane and Edgeworth and Gumshoe getting freaked out by it
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Location: Germany

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:42 pm

Posts: 222

@Airey: Why is everyone waiting for me? I already posted my spork and you commented on it. (Granted, you were the only one.)
You don't have to wait for me to punish Phoenix, if you meant that. Everyone can punish him and it won't break the continuity because he's sure to break the rules again in time for my spork. ;)
(And even in the rare case that he won't break the rules, I could pass what I plan for him off as "just because".)
It takes time for me to write sporks, and it shows when I rush them. So it could take a while. (Okay, probably not as long this time since I had already written part of it, but still.)


@Rubia:
-The German word for action in the sense of "something exciting" is actually just the English word. "Aktion" means action in the sense of "to perform an action, press X". Just as a piece of trivia, since this would be almost impossible to research. Bonus trivia: As I hinted at before, the word "Achtung" does not mean what the game translators apparently thought it means. Used in that way, addressing someone, it's mostly the military command for "Attention!" or really outdated German for "watch out!" (the kind of outdated you would find in politically correct comic books). The word itself can also mean "respect".

-I see Apollo is showing some early signs of yaoi paranoia. Phoenix should be proud of him.

-Did you actually count those 52 lines of copypaste? (That certainly would explain why your management sounds so tired of it ^^)

-Epic ambiguous comment there, Athena. XD

-The correct translation of "nice bird" is actually "netter Vogel". (Again, if you guys need help with German translations, please let me know.)

-Oh Athena, you should know better than to trust the fics you see in here to depict a person realistically. (I guess she will learn her lesson when she watches her first horrible shipfic with herself as a main character.)

-I think your spork had a good size. It fitted the pace, wasn't too much or too little, since nothing dragged and there was no discomfort reading the fic bits.

-I also like the interactions between the characters you use, especially Apollo and Athena. It seems very natural.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 5991

Thanks a lot! Honestly, I had read through your sporking above and meant to comment on it, but became busy with other things and didn't return in time. If you'd like a review from me, I can go back to it and post about it later.

About "Vogel"; I saw the same thing with Google Translate, but wasn't sure if it was a typo. Is there a difference between 'v' and 'V'? (And speaking of German misuse, I always imagined Klavier as a German-wannabe, despite his apparent accent. I suppose I could have commented on achtung, but I decided to play safe and let it slide.)

Yes, I counted those 52 lines one-by-one. In hindsight, I should have counted them ten at a time.

Athena is gradually becoming one of my favorite sporkers here. Since Maya, Trucy, and Kay have come to take everything for granted in this place, I figure someone with a little more naivete would blend well. Pearl and Juniper could work as well, though they're not as hyper as Athena is, so the interactions would have a different flavor altogether. Besides, Athena and Apollo could talk about what's for dinner and it'd be exciting somehow.

But now, I feel like I want to try something with Pearl and/or Juniper. Perhaps it's a good time to return to my previous sporking.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Gender: Female

Location: Germany

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:42 pm

Posts: 222

I like to get feedback (positive feedback is very rewarding, while negative feedback helps me improve myself, so I appreciate both), but you don't have to reread my spork just for that. If you still remember a specific thing you noticed about it, I'd be happy to read it, though.

The thing with German capitalization is that nouns are always capitalized. So "Vogel" (being "bird") needs to be capialized. We also conjugate (is that the right word) our adjectives, so where in English you just have the word "nice", we in German have the words "nett" (when it's just the word), "netter", "nette", "nettes", "netten", "nettem" (which are the male case, female case, object case, plural case, and male or object case in a specific case of grammar that is rarely used that way). So the nice bird, being a male case in German (der Vogel), becomes "netter Vogel". Languages are complicated. (And Google translate sucks.)

Regarding female sporkers: I think Juniper is nice enough to have, but doesn't seem like the type to add a lot of atmosphere. I imagine she's best as a "motivator" for other characters. As for Pearl, she's among the short list of characters I would never write in my life even if you payed me to. She's all yours. ;)
I imagine she and Juniper would get along well.
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Location: Metropolitan Atlanta

Rank: Prosecutor

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@Pessimistic_Fool: Either way I look forward to seeing it. Punishment sporkings FTW.

@Rubia: Ask and ye shall receive.
Image
That's basically my first time drawing Gumshoe orz

I suppose I'll get started on my next sporking, then? Since once PLvsAA comes out, I'll be dropping off the face of the internet until I finish it...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Gender: Female

Location: Germany

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:42 pm

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I think he looks very good, especially for a first attempt.
And yes, do write your spork if you have ideas. When will you get the game?
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