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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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@Pessimistic_Fool: I'm pretty sure it's supposed to come in the mail tomorrow. I can't waaaaaait.

Today's sporking will be:
An Overdose of Edgeworths by BadgeWolf. I'll give it either :sahwit: :sahwit: or :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: ...is it possible give half-Sawhits? It's not good, but it could be worse. Also, I think it's hilarious. Stupid, but hilarious.

Today's sporkers will be:
Maya Fey!
:maya: "Yessssss! The snack-bar is back!!"
Ema Skye!
:yummy: "With a title like that, you really have to wonder..."
and two newcomers...
Lotta Hart!
:lotta: "My camera! They confiscated my baby!!"
and...
Spark Brushel!
:Brush-Sniff: "'Reporter Invited to Infamous Sporking Theatre, Surrounded by Women,' end quote."

[We open up in our sporking theatre, where Lotta Hart is sulking (presumably because of the loss of her camera) and Spark Brushel is attempting to interview the Management.]

Brushel: ... "Management Twisted Perverts, Get Off on Sporkers' Pain," end quote.

Speakers: What?! No! We're being misrepresented!!

Brushel: "Management Denies Everything," end quote.

Speakers: No!! We mean, yes! Deny-! Argh!! Why did we think this was a good idea?!

Lotta: I can't believe y'all took my camera!

Speakers: We'll give it back if you promise to brain this guy with it.

Lotta: Well, sure!

Brushel: Waitwaitwaitwaitwait!

[Maya Fey and Ema Skye enter the theatre. Both make a beeline for the snack bar, but the latter stops in her tracks halfway there.]

Ema: Wait... why does it smell like mint in here?

Brushel: Ah, Detective Skye! Long time no see!!

Ema: ...

Maya: You know this guy, Ema?

Ema: *pulls out Snackoos, starts munching them* Unfortunately.

Lotta: Hey, Maya!

Maya: Eh? You're here, too?

Brushel: "Management Collecting Reporters," end quote.

Speakers: We don't even want to know how you came to that conclusion.

[Maya and Ema take their seats, and the fic begins.]

Quote:
Miles Edgeworth sat in his office, enjoying a well-earned cup of tea after a hard won trial. Suddenly, Edgeworth heard a loud bang. In surprise, he dropped his tea.


Lotta: Ooh, looks like the fic's starting big.

Ema: ...that didn't sound like a gunshot to me.

Lotta: Don't question me, City Girl.

Ema: ...

Maya: You just have to roll with it, Ema.

Quote:
As he searched for a roll of paper towels, Ema Skye broke down his door.


Brushel: So did you literally break down the door, or metaphorically break it down?

Ema: How am I supposed to know? *munches Snackoos*

Lotta: ...how do ya break down a door "metaphorically", anyway?

Quote:
"Would it kill you to knock?" shouted Miles "I broke my favorite teacup because of you!"


Maya: What's up with all the fics referring to him by first name lately, anyway?

Ema: Maybe the author can't spell "Edgeworth".

Maya: Speaking of Edgeworth... you'd think he'd be here.

Lotta: I reckon he just didn't feel like showin' up.

Ema: ...it's not like you have a choice.

Maya: Besides, Nick's the one that's gone rogue.

Quote:
"Edgeworth!" exclaimed Ema Skye, " It's me Ema! What's a prosecutor like you doing in a place like this?

"This is my office!" replied Miles, " and If I recall correctly, you were the one who broke down the door"

"Touché," replied Ema, "I see your infamous logic is still as powerful as ever"


Ema: *puts head in hands*

Brushel: I see! "Local Detective Mysteirously Loses IQ Points by the Dozen," end quote.

Lotta: Back off, that scoop's mine!

Maya: If you two keep this up, I think she'll be losing more than IQ points.

Quote:
"Ema," started Edgeworth, "even Gumshoe can remember events that happened within the past thirty seconds."

"Whatevs," replied Ema, "Phoenix Wright and some guy named Larry were driving together and got into a horrible car accident! I'm training to be a forensic scientist again, and part of the certification process in this country is an internship at the hospital morgue.


Maya: Whaaaaaaaaaat? They killed off Nick? And Larry?

Ema: In the first few lines of the fic, no less.

Lotta: Aw. I can't say I knew him very well, but I also can't say I ain't sorry to hear it.

Ema: Actually, dying's probably the least worst thing that can happen to your fic-self, scientifically speaking.

Lotta: Oh.

Brushel: "Sporking Theatre Dark Place, No Hope," end quote.

Quote:
I happened to be walking past the E.R when they came in all mangled and bloody!"

"Is this story going to lead to a good reason why you broke down my door?" asked Edgeworth, his features belying his deep concern for his friends. Ema gave him a strange look.

"The doctors were struggling to keep them alive, until I suggested a scientific therapy!" continued Ema, a note of pride creeping into her voice.


Maya: Nope. False alarm. They're alive.

Ema: I'm pretty sure Mr. Edgeworth would care more than that.

Quote:
"And what was this 'scientific' therapy?" asked Edgeworth impatiently.

"I injected them with illegally obtained DNA!" replied Ema gleefully, "Isn't science amazing?"


All: ...

Lotta: Wish I had my camera.

Brushel: *writing on arm*

Quote:
"I'll let that comment about the legality of the DNA slide." commented Edgeworth, "How are they doing?"


Maya: Is he not going to ask where you got the DNA?

Ema: He probably realizes that, scientifically speaking, injecting someone with DNA would do absolutely nothing.

Quote:
"Weell," began Ema, "You know how Nick's hair usually has those ridiculous spikes? It's starting to grow into some kind of curtain-cut, kinda like what you have. That Larry guy's is too. I personally think it's an improvement, but the doctor wanted me to tell you"


All: ...

Lotta: Wow, I can almost hear Mister Lawyer complaining about how his hair's not ridiculous.

Maya: In that case I guess we've figured out how much time you need to spend with him before you've hung out with him way too much.

Ema: ...why am I calling Mr. Wright "Nick"?

Maya: I guess fic-you is really me in disguise.

Brushel: Is this common in fanfiction?

Maya: ...uh, I'll answer you when your nose stops doing... whatever that is.

Quote:
"Why would the doctor have you tell me specifically?" asked Edgeworth.

"You know how I injected them with stolen DNA?" asked Ema tentatively, "It's yours. I injected Nick and his weird friend with your DNA."


Ema: Yes. Of course. That makes sense.

Brushel: "Local Detective Actually Crazed Stalker, Steals DNA," end quote.

Ema: ... *munches Snackoos*

Maya: (What's up with the suspicious Snackoo-munching?)

Quote:
"You injected Phoenix Wright and Larry Butz with my DNA." said Edgeworth, incredulously, "and now they're copying my hairstyle?"

"Pretty much!" replied Ema, "Both of them had all of their hair burnt off, and now it's growing back like yours!"

"Why do you even have my DNA?" asked Edgeworth.

"Wait, doesn't everybody collect your DNA?" asked Ema, "That security lady was pretty intent on purchasing my jar, even though she already had one!"


Maya: *sniggers*

Lotta: Ya know, I heard that they usually choose sporkers based off of who all's in the fic.

Ema: They must be giving Mr. Edgeworth a break.

Maya: Yeah, I guess he does deserve it.

Quote:
"Ema," replied Edgeworth with a sigh, "My DNA is not collectible."

"It is to me!" replied Ema. The prosecutor and the young woman stood in an awkward silence for several moments.

"Can you drive me back to the hospital?" asked Ema, "I'm technically still on duty."

"Why not," replied Edgeworth, "I may as well visit my friends."


Lotta: Uh, if ya need him to drive you back to the hospital, how did ya get to his office in the first place?

Brushel: "Local Detective Masters Teleportation," end quote. What a scoop!

Lotta: Too bad I got it before you!

Speakers: The Management would like to inform Lotta Hart that it was her photographing of our teleportation device that prompted us to confiscate her camera in the first place.

Lotta: ...

Spoiler: The rest of the fic
Ema: How long is this, anyway?

Maya: Um, let's see... *picks up script that has totally been here the whole time* 1,624 words.

Lotta: Let's just get started on the rest of the fic, yeah? I actually kinda wanna see how this'll end.

Brushel: "Local Reporter, Detective, Spirit Medium Diagnosed With Trainwreck Syndrome," end quote.

Speakers: Wait.

[Spark Brushel is suddenly teleported out of the sporking theatre.]

Remaining sporkers: ...

Ema: Um, why?

Speakers: To quote one of our own: "Spark Brushel is an abomination."

Lotta: So where'd you send him?

Speakers: The bottom of the Mariana Trench.

Quote:
Chapter two

In which everyone is intentionally OOC


Ema: Well, at least there's that.

Maya: You know it's gonna be crazy when the author 'fesses up right off the bat.

Lotta: Oh boy.

Quote:
Miles Edgeworth was driving west on the 10 in his red sports car. Ema Skye was sitting in the passenger seat. She looked like she had seen a ghost. Miles merged onto the 110. Ema had a good reason to be uneasy in Edgeworth's car. Her sister after all, had been involved in a case involving this car.


Ema: I'm pretty sure he would just get a new car. I mean, the trunk was broken anyway.

Maya: What, and he can't just have it fixed?

Ema: ...it was police evidence.

Quote:
They arrived at the hospital mercifully fast. Ema ran into the building, using her ID to get herself back to her workplace. Miles was forced to inquire about his friends at the front desk. Soon enough, he found himself in the right hospital room. The room had two patients in it, separated by a curtain, One one side of the curtain was Phoenix Wright, who appeared to be asleep. On the other side, was Larry Butz. Larry's hair was unusually dark, and he appeared to be reading something.

"Edgy, my old friend!" shouted Larry, in recognition.


Lotta: Edgy?

Maya: It's actually spelled "Edgey".

Ema: That doesn't make it okay.

Quote:
Phoenix shot up with a start.

"Sir, would you be so kind as to get me a cup of tea?" asked Phoenix. His voice sounded weird, but Edgeworth couldn't put his finger on why. "Earl Gray if you have it." continued Phoenix. Suddenly, Edgeworth realized that Wright had been speaking in his voice!


All: ...

Lotta: ...woo. That's kinda freaky.

Maya: I feel like the foundation of my existence has been shaken somehow.

Ema: Yeah, same... *munches Snackoos*

Quote:
"Wright, why are you imitating my voice and mannerisms?" asked Miles.

"I'm not imitating anyone!" replied Phoenix, "I, Miles Edgeworth, being of sound mind and body, would like a cup of tea!"


All: ...

Lotta: ...so... comments, y'all? I mean, ain't y'all sporking veterans?

Maya: Uh, well, I mean...

Ema: ...we can't really say it's the strangest thing we've seen in here.

Maya: Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know what to say to it.

Quote:
A nurse walked in to check Larry's vitals.


Maya: ...because he was having a heart attack from Nick suddenly turning into Edgeworth!

Ema: I think I'd have a heart attack, too. *munches Snackoos*

Quote:
"You have just been in a car accident." retorted Edgeworth, "You are not of sound body, and you do not appear to be of sound mind!" before he could say anything more, he heard a blood-curdling scream. He looked over to see the nurse, her hand practically bitten off, and Larry Butz, with a blood-stained cravat.


All: ?

Quote:
"Larry," asked Edgeworth, struggling to remain calm, "did you just bite that nurse?" before anyone could answer, the nurse's hand spontaneously healed.


All: ??

Quote:
A cravat sprouted from the nurse's neck. She stood up, and left the room, slowly morphing into what appeared to be Miles Edgeworth.


All: ???

Lotta: Where's my camera?!

Quote:
Miles couldn't take it. He ran out of the room and down the hallway, but he couldn't escape the fact that more and more people in the hospital seemed to look exactly like him. At the end of the hallway, there was a vending machine. when Miles reached the vending machine, he realized he was at the end of his rope. For the first time in years, Miles had no idea what he should do.


Ema: Well, that's pretty... understandable...

Maya: What the heck is going on?!

Quote:
He did the only thing that he could do, given the circumstances. He stuck his hand in his pocket, and grabbed a handful of change. He stuffed the change into the vending machine, and pressed the appropriate button. The vending machine whirred, and dropped a can of diet cola. Miles retrieved the it, popped it open, and chugged the whole can in less than a minute. Edgeworth had not had soda since he was in law school. he generally preferred tea or water, but desperate times called for desperate measures.


All: ...

Lotta: Ain't this fic ridiculous enough on its own without us makin' fun of it?

Ema: That's what I think, but apparently the Management doesn't agree with that.

Speakers: We've made our share of mistakes this session.

Quote:
Ema was typing blood,


Maya: Um...

Ema: Maybe I should stop typing.

Lotta: Or maybe the keyboard's haunted.

Quote:
with more help than she wanted from her co-worker, Kay.


Ema: Kay's not my co-worker.

Kay: Right! As Mr. Edgeworth's assistant, I actually outrank you!

Maya: Gah! When did you get here?!

Kay: I've been here for a while.

Speakers: We were wondering where you got to.

Kay: Hey, the best place for a crow to hide is in a murder!

Lotta: A murder?!

Ema: A group of crows is called a murder.

Quote:
Ema had mixed feelings about Kay. On one hand,she enjoyed their frequent gab sessions, where they would discuss Miles Edgeworth. On the other hand, after these gab sessions, Ema would frequently find her wallet stolen.


Kay: Hey, that's slander. I don't steal people's wallets!

Maya: Yeah, that's my job!

Ema & Lotta: *surreptitiously check pockets*

Quote:
"I bet Edgeworth drinks diet soda when he's really stressed out." said Kay, out of the blue.

"Does the science back up your claim?" asked Ema.

"Yes!" replied Kay, "I've noticed that he blinks more than usual in the presence of a soda machine!"


Ema: ...

Kay: I guess the other explanation would be that he's allergic to soda machines.

Lotta: Is that even something you can be allergic to?

Ema: Well, I suppose if the sodas had some sort of... preservative...

Lotta: Hmmmmmmmm. Sounds like a scoop to me.

Maya: Now I want another soda. But the snack bar's all the way over there...

Quote:
"Kay," replied Ema "'perception' or whatever is about as scientific as phrenology." Ema noticed that Kay was oddly silent. She turned to look at her. Kay had grown several inches and was now nearly as tall as Mr. Edgeworth. A cravat sprouted from Kay's neck. Her hair turned grey, and slowly reshaped itself into Edgeworth's haircut.

"This is scientifically impossible.," muttered Ema,


Ema: Really.

Kay: Let it go, Ema.

Quote:
"as much as I'd like to let it pass, I should probably run for my life." Ema ran out of the lab, but she couldn't escape the fact that nearly everybody seemed to be turning into a clone of Miles Edgeworth. Science had failed her. Ema was at the end of her rope.


Maya: But... why?

Lotta: Who cares? Dang, I wish I had my camera... I know! Why don't you get Mr. Wright to sue for me?

Maya: Eh, sure.

Quote:
Meanwhile, at the Oldbag residence


Kay: Maya, ready the popcorn.

Maya: Popcorn ready!

Quote:
The day had come. Wendy had been training her whole life for this day, and she knew what the consequences of would be if she failed. The long-dormant ED-WT virus had become active. There is no cure for ED-WT, and it was judged that the safest course of action was to eliminate any and all carriers. For generations, the Oldbag clan dedicated itself to this,and they had been quite successful. By the year 2001, there were only three carriers left, a father, a son, and Yanni Yogi. Two of those carriers had since been isolated or eliminated, thanks to Wendy's ingenious plan. The plan involved an elevator and an gunman, and would have eliminated all three carriers, had it not been derailed by an earthquake. The son, Miles Edgeworth survived. He was the final carrier. He showed all of the classic symptoms: love of the color pink, desire for justice, and grey anime hair. The moment Wendy saw him, she knew she had to get close to him, so that she could deal with the virus once and for all. Although the form of ED-WT that Miles carried was not contagious, the Oldbags refused to take risks.

Although Wendy Oldbag had been planning for the day when the ED-WT virus would become contagious, she had not actually expected that day to come. She had no idea how the virus had suddenly become contagious, nor why it was spreading as fast as it was. Wendy knew one thing. It was time for her to use her training. Wendy Oldbag grabbed a shotgun and a taser. She was going Edgeworth hunting.


All: .....................

Lotta: I... I have nothing to say.

Maya: (That's a new one!)

Kay: You know, in its own strange way, it's actually kind of... beautiful.

Ema: I have completely lost track of what's going on. *munches Snackoos*

Quote:
4. The Anti-climactic Conclusion!


Maya: That sounds promising.

Lotta: Something tells me we're almost done here.

Quote:
Ema decided to go to her sister for advice. Lana Skye was turning into Miles Edgeworth, and to Ema's horror, so was Ema. To make matters worse, there was some old lady with a taser and a shotgun gunning people down. L.A was lost. With her last ounce of free will, Ema dug through her purse, and activated her inter-dimensional transporter, the one that had won her the science fair all those years ago. She knew that a solution existed somewhere in the multiverse.


Ema: Uh...

[The lights come back on.]

Kay: Wait, that's it?

Speakers: That's it.

Maya: That's the whole chapter?

Speakers: That's the whole chapter.

Ema: And the last one, too, huh. *munches Snackoos*

Lotta: Well! *stands up* That wasn't so bad! Yeah, I reckon it was pretty weird, but not bad!

Kay: Eh, they usually aren't like this.

Maya: Yeah, they get soooo much worse.

Ema: Although not much more confusing.

Lotta: *shrugs* Maybe I'll drop by again sometime. It was fun sporkin' with y'all. *leaves theatre, begins shouting at the Management to give her her camera back as she goes*

Kay: Personally, I thought it was pretty funny.

Ema: If unscientific.

Maya: Ema, everything here is unscientific.

Ema: Yeah, I've figured that out by now...

[And so our remaining sporkers exit the theatre, leaving our beloved Management to wonder why the heck they ever thought Spark Brushel was ever a good idea. RIP Spark "Irritating Minty Mother@$%#er" Brushel, 1990-2014]

Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

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@Pessimistic Ah, classic bad-fic time. I could comment on how terribly boring it's become, but I'd just be repeating the sporkers.

Nice one again. One major distinction I hold in your sporkings compared to those of others is how experienced, read "dispirited", Phoenix and Apollo feel to be back here in comparison to Athena, who's just a bundle of energy. The contrast is much more obvious, as I'd expect. You've got a strong handle on that.

On the other end, though, I have to admit that Athena sometimes comes off as a little too sarcastic herself. She's one of the newer members in here, and when grouped with Apollo and Nick, she doesn't always blend in with them as well as I'd expect. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is about her, but for example, the "fake crying" and ranting-until-purple-faced bits somehow feel awkward. (However, I will let the rant bit slide because it's funny picturing her purple in the face.)

Btw, why do you not liking writing with Pearl?

@Airey The teleporter is back! Yaaaay!

...I mean, ahem. Another great job. I was wondering when Lotta or Brushel would show up, but I didn't expect both of them to show up for the same one. And so he was banished forever... or so it seems.

Now to be fair. It seems toward the end of the sporking, it was less sporking and more staring at the fic. As ridiculous as it can get, I personally believe there's still room for the characters to converse a little more. Besides, this fic is far from the most ridiculous that has happened in here.

Also, thank you for the pics. If only we could collect them with the rest on the first page so they can be received as headlines. (For your first attempt at Gumshoe, I actually find him better drawn than the other two.)

@ThoseTwoGuardsAtTheEntrance Incidentally, I warned you about letting teenaged girls run around without detection. You're fired.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
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Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Yeah, not really some of my best work. To be honest I spent way too much time cracking up at the fic itself, I couldn't really come up with anything to say in response to it.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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@Airey:
Sorry I could only get to reading your spork now.

-Oh dear god, Spark Brushel. You actually included him. I'm not quite sure if I should be more amused or appalled. Okay, probably more amused. :D

-We should have some sort of map to clear up where in the theater complex different parts are located. Such as the teleporter and the snack bar... the latter is already big enough to stretch into two different rooms (foyer and one of the theaters). It should still leave enough room for imagination, though.

-Oooh the Mariana Trench, nice. ^^ I hope he's got oxygen down there. Assuming he needs it. Why did you choose that specific point to teleport him out, though?

-Also, nice way you brought Kay in there.

-No no no, Ema, you're thinking about the soda machines all wrong. If someone were allergic to the machine, the ingredients in the soda wouldn't matter - the soda is not in the air. What the person could react to is the meatal, or perhaps a certain type of varnish used on the soda machine. ;)

*******************************

@Rubia:
Thank you for the praise, I really appreciate it (the constructive criticism, as well).
Yeah, I knew it would show if I tried Athena again before replaying the game. But I wanted the sporkers to be at least somewhat consistant. :/
As for Pearl, well... not only is she one of my most disliked characters, but unlike the other candidates, she wouldn't be fun for me to write, either. Prominent parts of her personality go against my morals. Which would be fine if she were a villain, but not if she's supposed to be likable.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Pessimistic_Fool wrote:
-Oooh the Mariana Trench, nice. ^^ I hope he's got oxygen down there. Assuming he needs it. Why did you choose that specific point to teleport him out, though?

Because it was the only way to kill him for sure. :yogi:
Edit: Unless you mean time-wise. That was just when I realized I ran out of jokes for him.
Pessimistic_Fool wrote:
-No no no, Ema, you're thinking about the soda machines all wrong. If someone were allergic to the machine, the ingredients in the soda wouldn't matter - the soda is not in the air. What the person could react to is the meatal, or perhaps a certain type of varnish used on the soda machine. ;)

I can't remember why I made that mistake. I was either thinking of some of the chemicals that are involved with refrigeration and just called them by the wrong name, or I assumed for some reason that the machine was one of those newer drink dispenser type deals where you can pick from a wider varities of soda. Either way, eh.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

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AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Pessimistic_Fool wrote:
-Oooh the Mariana Trench, nice. ^^ I hope he's got oxygen down there. Assuming he needs it. Why did you choose that specific point to teleport him out, though?

Because it was the only way to kill him for sure. :yogi:

Nah, I doubt it. He probably floated back to the surface via an active geothermal vent. Only that minty coolness could have saved him from the intense heat. And, uh, his body is like rubber, so the pressure doesn't affect him.

...He probably wrote something about it in a news blog for impossibly wild adventure stories. Not sure what that has to do with it.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Okay so I had this great idea/a couple great ideas for a sporking (yes, you should worry when I say that) but it needs to be placed after Pessimistic's punishment sporking. I wanna know how far everyone is on their respective sporkings, and also if anyone needs me to share more of my AA badfic horde? :yogi:
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

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I've put my work on hiatus for a bit, since I can't quite get back into the mood to write at the moment. When I do have something to show, I'll show it.

Out of curiosity, though, why would you need to wait until after Pessimistic's sporking? As she mentioned, she doesn't have to be the one to work on that if there's someone else who wants to, and my stuff already has other things planned. (In fact, the most evil of punishment sporkings thus far have been from you...)

And I still haven't figured out which characters I write best with. There are those I feel more comfortable writing with, but I can't choose a favorite duo out of them. What do you guys think? Should I focus more on the DD crew, or switch back to the classic guys?
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
I've put my work on hiatus for a bit, since I can't quite get back into the mood to write at the moment. When I do have something to show, I'll show it.

Out of curiosity, though, why would you need to wait until after Pessimistic's sporking? As she mentioned, she doesn't have to be the one to work on that if there's someone else who wants to, and my stuff already has other things planned. (In fact, the most evil of punishment sporkings thus far have been from you...)

And I still haven't figured out which characters I write best with. There are those I feel more comfortable writing with, but I can't choose a favorite duo out of them. What do you guys think? Should I focus more on the DD crew, or switch back to the classic guys?

Because she said that it was a minor punishment, and one of my ideas was something that would lead to another evil punishment (I think I enjoy writing those a little too much - not that I really have anything in particular in mind for the punishment itself as of yet), so I think it would work better afterwards. The other ideas that I had (and I keep coming up with ideas because my brother sends them to me, too) don't really matter when they take place or whatever, I just think that I shouldn't be posting too many sporking in a row, right?

As for you, I really love how you write Blackquill. I especially like the Edgeworth-Blackquill dynamic, so I wouldn't mind seeing more of that~ And Taka using emoticons is adorable.
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Yeah, I have been writing but I just need a little break since school starts soon. Also the "The Immortal" of Smash Bros got a sequel so I may do a commentary fanfic. Yeah... I'm losing at lot of brain cells.
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Has anyone checked out this yet?
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cesar26100 wrote:
Has anyone checked out this yet?

I can't even forumate a response to this. SOMEONE PLEASE SPORK IT.
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Guys, I've just had an idea. Leave the newest punishment sporking to me. I'll make sure it's a special occasion. (`ー´)
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Oh boy, I can't wait.
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@Rubia: I'm curious to see what you'll come up with. ^^

As for me, sadly things keep getting in the way and I don't progress as fast as I hoped. :/
Sorry about the wait.
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'Scool, I've got other ideas. :3c
(Rubia, you don't need anyone to be set up for a punishment, do you? Or is it someone with an outstanding warrant, like Phoenix?)
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I don't want to reveal too much, but basically, we're going to have a nice roasted bird for dinner. Obviously, our teleportation device will come in handy.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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I checked that, but don't even get the thing. What is kink meme, how does this work. I did hear about it, that much is a given in this fandom, but I'm clueless about it...
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Nearavex wrote:
I checked that, but don't even get the thing. What is kink meme, how does this work. I did hear about it, that much is a given in this fandom, but I'm clueless about it...

Maybe this will help.
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Nearavex wrote:
I checked that, but don't even get the thing. What is kink meme, how does this work. I did hear about it, that much is a given in this fandom, but I'm clueless about it...


You mean the link I posted? Just scroll down until the part where it says old coats.
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Do you ever see something that makes you laugh so hard you go light-headed and your ribs start burning? I'm probably going to spork this in the near-ish future.
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Should I be glad that I'm half-asleep already that most of that fic didn't really sink in too deep? I think I would have shattered like that mirror.

Dang, I think I might have caught a cold. It's not easy thinking up jokes when my circuits are being fried. (Plus, we have droughts here in California.) Well, I think I'll come up with something within the next few days.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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The kink meme is a glorious place and thank you cesar26100 for opening my eyes to it. That said, there is a surprising amount of mpreg and tentacles in this fandom. Didn't see that one coming...
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As long as we keep the ratings PG, anything from that meme is acceptable. It's a place where anyone can come up with a fanfic, but there has to be some sort of pairing going on. Right up our alley, eh? Feel free to post something before I do.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

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Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
there is a surprising amount of mpreg and tentacles in this fandom


Please tell me this is a freaking joke
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cesar26100 wrote:
AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
there is a surprising amount of mpreg and tentacles in this fandom


Please tell me this is a freaking joke

I'm reading an mpreg fic right now.
This is the fifth one I've seen in the last day alone. And I've only had three hours online today.
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Dude.
Spoiler: Look at all these fanfics I bookmarked off the kinkmeme...
...just one and a half parts of it so far. Talk about a goldmine.
Image
Some of the names are titles, some of them are short descriptions. If it has Edgeworth or any variation thereof in it, it's a description.

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By what criteria did you judge these fics? Title? Concept? (Im)maturity? Zaniness?

But I must admit that the "Matt x mirror" one is tempting, while the "engrish" one may be slightly insulting, but I'm curious nonetheless.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
By what criteria did you judge these fics? Title? Concept? (Im)maturity? Zaniness?

But I must admit that the "Matt x mirror" one is tempting, while the "engrish" one may be slightly insulting, but I'm curious nonetheless.

For the most part, if I thought it would make a funny sporking. (See: "more Edgeworth trauma :)", "EDGEWORTH SCREAMING IN DISTANCE", "let's traumatize Edgey some MORE", and "this will be SO meta".) ...actually, that was pretty much all of them. The fics are pretty well-written but some of them are just... well, why don't you take a look at "engrish" yourself?

(Bonus link to "Matt x mirror".)
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Why did I ask.

Well, it's probably best that we keep the really vulgar stuff out of here, for some of our sanity. But I always enjoy a classy narcissistic fic. :basil:
Spoiler:
Still, I felt the author for "Matt x mirror" went a little too literal... not that it matters. At least it was still PG.

Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Three days, no posts? Not while I'm around. Let's do something stupid.

This fic is, being from the kink meme, anonymous, although its title is listed as "Prince of All Prosecutors". I'm going to give this :sahwit: because quite frankly, it's amazing. (It's also rated G. What? Airey doing a G-rated fic? It's more likely than you think!)

(Psst. I recommend you listen to this while reading my sporking.)
(Also here is a picture of the King of All Cosmos in case you're unfamiliar with Katamari since I keep making jokes about his TIGHT PANTS.)

Today's sporkers are...
Miles Edgeworth!
:edgeworth: "The kink meme is never a good sign..."
Phoenix Wright!
:nick-sweat: "This isn't my punishment sporking, is it? I just want to get it over with, the waiting is killing me..."
and...
Maya Fey!
:maya: "You two are soooo pessimistic."

[We open up in our sporking theatre, where are sporkers are already seated. A tune from a certain video game is being played over the speakers.]

Speakers: Na naaaa na na na na na na na na katamari damacyyyy...

Maya: *singing along* Don't worry, do your best! Na na na na na na na na na na na na na! Picnic kibun, feel so good! Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!

Phoenix: Maya, please...

Maya: Suteki na afternoon! Na na na na na na na na na na na na na! Furachi na midnight yeah! Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!

Edgeworth: Maya.

Maya: Katamete korogasu I love you, itsudemo smile for you, kimi dake ni love moon hey so! Ganbaranakucha~

Phoenix: Maya, that's enough.

Maya: Compression~ compressioooooooooon~!

Edgeworth: Let's just start the fic without her.

Phoenix: I guess.

[The lights dim, and the fic begins. The Management's helpful accompaniment dims slightly, but doesn't stop entirely.]

Quote:
Having no recollection of his current location, or his entire existence, for that matter, the creature wandered around the glum planet aimlessly. This world seemed strange... somehow wrong, and possibly going against the laws of physics. Not that the creature knew what those were. There was only itself, the ground beneath, and all the cosmos above, and the creature briefly wondered if its existence was a solitary one, until--


Edgeworth: At least the writing appears to be competent. That is a good example of scene-setting, although I have no idea where this is going.

Phoenix: *gestures towards speakers* Don't you ever play video games?

Edgeworth: *gestures towards Maya, who is still singing along* Is there a reason why I should?

Quote:
The ground shook, sending the poor creature off his feet instantly. The sky above turned even blacker, if at all possible, illuminating the enormous silhouette of what it could only describe as a monster. Now, having only existed for a matter of minutes, it's no surprise that the earthquake, blackout and appearance of the monster frightened whatever life was in the poor creature. It curled into a ball by sheer instinct, willing it all to go away. To its dismay, no such thing happened. Instead, the gigantic being spoke.

“GREETINGS, PRINCE,” its booming voice asserted, “YOU LOOK PUNY, INSIGNIFICANT AND IMPERFECT AS EVER.”


Phoenix: *stares at screen agape* Wait,that's gotta be... is it saying that Manfred von Karma is the King of all Cosmos?

Maya: Not with those pants, I hope.

Phoenix: I guess we can add that to a list of things I never wanted to see.

Edgeworth: ...?

Quote:
Prince, huh? The creature then deduced it was safe to assume it was male, according to this title. That was the rational part of his mind thinking, of course, which was mostly overshadowed by all the other parts screaming “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?” in regards to the highly disturbing presence in front of him.


Edgeworth: I see the creature is familiar with the general mentality of the sporking theatre.

Quote:
“No... It was indeed not a dream,” it continued with a scowl, “We really did it. The King of All Prosecutors has really done it. A courtroom full of evidence, witnesses and attorneys... We broke it. Did you see? The defense attorneys in all their splendor, objecting and testifying and presenting their perfect evidence. So many there attorneys used to be, almost a nuisance. Now there's nothing but the judge, and prosecutors. Hee... 'Tis but a dream... Hee... But a perfect one.”


Edgeworth: ...what?

Maya: Should we explain, Nick?

Phoenix: Nah.

Maya: - na na na na na na na na na na na na na na naaaaa...

Phoenix: You did that on purpose, didn't you?

Quote:
The creature stared at what was apparently the King of All Prosecutors. Did he just say he broke the court system? No witnesses, no defense attorneys, no evidence? But who would defend the innocent? How would they prove anything? The creature felt a strange attraction to the fairness of the court system, and wanted to fix everything right away! In his determination, he didn't even realize that the earthquake had stopped.

“But you see, the King of All Police, he will not have it. He says We must fix this, We must put everything back the way it was. Otherwise the cosmos shall flood, and we will be swimming for all eternity.”


Maya: Do you think the King of All Police is dressed similarly to the King of All Co- Prosecutors?

Phoenix: I hope not. I've seen way too much Gant lately as it is.

Edgeworth: I second that, even if I'm not sure what you two are implying.

Quote:
Oh, good, thought the prince, he will fix everything... wait, swimming? What?


Phoenix: Yeah, I don't think I want to see Gant fixing anything...

Maya: Not even if he's an inch tall and just rolling around the katamari?

Phoenix: I'm pretty sure that would backfire somehow.

Quote:
“But We are far too busy and perfect for such a mediocre job,” the King mused, “so We will have the prince do it for us.”

Suddenly, the prince felt the atmosphere around him change. Rather, there was an atmosphere now, and he appeared to be on a completely different planet. There were odd objects all around, and in front of him, a small golden badge, about as big as himself. The prince looked around in confusion, awaiting instruction.


Edgeworth: ...

Maya: Confused, Mr. Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: Extremely.

Quote:
“This is planet Earth, prince,” the angry voice explained, “here you must roll up and collect a defense attorney, then the Court of All Cosmos shall be somewhat more complete. Roll that defense attorney's badge, and collect as many cravats as you can until the Cravatamari is big enough to roll up a defense attorney for the Court of the Cosmos!”


Edgeworth: ...cravats?

Phoenix: As if we needed more proof that Edgeworth was the prince.

Maya: Yeah, but Nick! Tiny Mr. Edgeworth!

Edgeworth: Excuse me?

Quote:
The prince shook his head obediently, willing the enormous entity to just go away, as his presence was highly disturbing.


Phoenix: No kidding.

Maya: If the katamari isn't big enough, do you think the King of All Prosecutors sends the prince back, or just tazes him?

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: Who's cultured now, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: The one who doesn't seem to have ungodly amounts of free time on his hands, that's who.

Quote:
Giving the badge a slight push, he realized it wasn't as heavy as it looked, and proceeded to roll up small miscellaneous objects, in the process realizing where he was.

This must be a courtroom, the prince thought, there is lots of evidence to collect. Now where are the cravats? Using the process of logical thought, the prince determined that prosecutors wore cravats, as the king sported a massive one with a jewel in the middle, and he himself had a small, plain one as well. He then headed toward the room labeled “Prosecutor Lobby,” where he found an abundance of the frilly neckwear.


Edgeworth: *stares a screen in confusion*

Phoenix & Maya: *quietly laughing to themselves*

Edgeworth: I expect one of you to explain this game to me later.

Maya: It's better to just play it yourself. Ooh, I know! Katmari party at Edgeworth's! Nick, you know how to get into his house, don't you?

Edgeworth: What?

Quote:
Having seen and collected enough cravats to last him a lifetime, the prince assumed it was safe to seek a defense attorney, collect it, and leave this place. He headed toward the Defense Lobby, and spotted a somewhat familiar-looking creature, mostly blue, with the strangest spiked hairstyle.


Phoenix: Oh look, it's me.

Maya: Oh no! You're going to get rolled up into the katamari!

Phoenix: ...I've never really considered before how painful that would be.

Maya: Maybe the von Karma of All Cosmos will taze the katamari...

Quote:
“Na naaaaaa na na na na na...” the odd creature was singing a strangely familiar tune, ignoring the prince.


Maya: *starts singing again* Heart-warming mejiro oshi~! Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na! Hitare etsu, say goodbye!

Kay: Bye-bye!

Phoenix: Gah!

Edgeworth: Kay, must you get every set of guards fired?

Kay: Hey, if they fire all of their guards, you can escape the theatre, right?

Edgeworth: ...good point.

Speakers: The Management would like to remind Miles Edgeworth and Kay Faraday that plotting against us is strictly forbidden.

Maya: Hey, don't talk over the music!!

Quote:
It seemed rather dull-witted,


Phoenix: Oh, come on!

Edgeworth: At least something in this fic makes sense.

Quote:
It seemed rather dull-witted, and not something the King would likely enjoy. Well, no matter if it's not perfect, a defense attorney is a defense attorney, thought the prince. He headed towards it, yet stopped in his tracks when he got close enough.

Or rather, he was forcibly stopped in his tracks, as he collided with the blue, spiky-headed lawyer. Oh no! The Cravatamari is not big enough!


All except Edgeworth: *giggle at "cravatamari"*

Edgeworth: *stares at screen in confusion, slightly offended*

Quote:
The prince realized his oversight too late, as the King's booming voice filled the room.

“THIS IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT,” the voice screeched, “AND IT IS OUR FAULT FOR BELIEVING IN YOU!” The prince shook from head to toe, fearing the enormous King's wrath. “NOW OUR PERFECT RECORD IS RUINED, AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”

“I'm sorry!” cried the prince, “I'm sorry, it's my fault the Court of the Cosmos is still incomplete, it's all my fault! I--”

Suddenly, the defense attorney finally turned his attention to the prince, and began nudging at him, muttering something.


Edgeworth: ...Maya, you described the prince character as being only about an inch tall, didn't you?

Kay: Well, this came from the kink meme, right? Maybe this is where it takes a turn for the vore.

Phoenix: Takes a turn for the what?

Kay: What?

Maya: It's almost over, though...

Quote:
“Miles...”


Edgeworth: Oh, look. First names.

Phoenix: Somehow I doubt that's Franziska.

Quote:
But the presence of the King was not to be ignored, howling madly and nearly foaming at the mouth. Death was sure to follow...

Miles!

Miles Edgeworth awoke with a start, full of panic and confusion. Next to him sat an equally confused Phoenix Wright, who had one hand on Edgeworth's shoulder.


Kay: "A dream?! Is this an 'it was all a dream' ending?! I'M SO GLAD IT WAS THAT KIND OF ENDING-!"

Edgeworth: Kay, if you're going to shout references to something, you could at least make it something we all understand.

Kay: It's not my fault you're lame.

Quote:
“Miles, are you all right? There was an earthquake but you seemed fine until you started muttering in your sleep and...”

Noticing the Playstation controller near Phoenix and the paused game on the television screen, Miles quickly determined the cause of his nightmare and scowled. First thing tomorrow, the television would go back to the living room, permanently.


Phoenix: ...and it ends up being my fault.

Maya: Why am I not surprised?

Kay: At least it didn't randomly turn into slash at the end. Except that it did.

Edgeworth: And that, I think, is the least surprising thing of all.

[The lights come back on, and the music finally stops.]

Phoenix: ...so who else thinks that a kink meme fic all of a sudden is a bad sign?

Maya: What's the worst that could happen?

Edgeworth: Aren't you scheduled for a punishment sporking again, Wright?

Phoenix: At this point, I think the suspense is going to be even worse than whatever they throw at me...

Kay: And with the kink meme, I'm sure there's a lot they can throw at you!

Phoenix: Thanks, Kay. You make me feel so much better.

Maya: And that's why I'm Nick's assistant, not you.

Edgeworth: Can we just go already?

[And so our sporkers again leave. They have no idea how right they are about the kink meme. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.]

Phoenix: I heard that!

Speakers: How many times do we have to tell you not to comment on the descriptive narration?! The sporking's over, go home!

Phoenix: *makes "I'm watching you" gesture, then leaves proper*
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@airey:

-So Maya's an anime game(?) fangirl to the point where she memorized the Japanese(...ish) lyrics of the theme, huh? Somehow, I can totally picture this.
(I can also picture Phoenix and her "doing research" for this sporking. ^^)

-Wait, why on Earth does Phoenix know how to break into Edgeworth's house? Did I miss something?

-
Quote:
Kay, must you get every set of guards fired?
I love this reaction. XD

Well, that fic sure was... strange. Even more so because someone actually requested it, didn't they? O.o
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Pessimistic_Fool wrote:
-Wait, why on Earth does Phoenix know how to break into Edgeworth's house? Did I miss something?

No.
I don't know where that joke came from.

Yeah, the original request just read "CRAVATAMARI DAMACY" in all caps. I knew the instant I saw it... this fic was meant for me... :yogi:
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Pffft. Remember how I mentioned during Breathing Is A Neccisity that I've read a fic where Damon Gant raped Phoenix? Well, I found it again... not that I'm planning on sporking it yet but I just thought that was funny. (Also no one's been posting lately. Threeeeeeead don't die on meeeeeee~!)
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What's with all the rape fics? I mean, I know there are bound to be a few, but it seems like there's a lot... and then another lot with concensual sex or otherwise nsfw content. What's up with that?
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That's a really good question. Do you mean like, in general, or why do I keep finding them? Because I don't really know for either of them. I'm looking for general, PG-rated fics, and they just keep cropping up everywhere...
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I meant in general. I know every fandom always spawns those fics as well, but with Ace Attorney, there seems to be an unusually high number of them. (I've accidentally stumbled upon a few myself, before I learned to check the rating.)
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Dang, all this time, I'd forgotten to check back here, and I missed out on a pretty hilarious fic / sporking. Katamari x Ace Attorney is pretty up there on the strangest random crossovers. I guess I should be glad it's no Ace Attorney x Avatar... and sadly, I didn't save a link to it. It'd be perfect for sporking, so I will search for it.

Quote:
“This is planet Earth, prince,” the angry voice explained, “here you must roll up and collect a defense attorney, then the Court of All Cosmos shall be somewhat more complete. Roll that defense attorney's badge, and collect as many cravats as you can until the Cravatamari is big enough to roll up a defense attorney for the Court of the Cosmos!”

For some reason, this actually seems like a fun game. The problem is... isn't an attorney's badge flat?

Quote:
Kay, must you get every set of guards fired?

If we ever run into the problem of not having enough guards, then we will import some. And by that, I mean we will employ robot guards. Or maybe we can set up an automatic security system that blocks out intruders using force fields...



One way or another, I feel like I've lost all interest in sporking "Word of the Day". The fic overall is pretty boring and the characters, while OOC, are not the entertaining sort of OOC. If I ever feel like getting around to it, maybe I will. Maybe. For now, it's up for grabs again if anyone else wants to get to it.

In the meantime, I think I'll get to that punishment sporking we've all been waiting for, but I need new material. Hmm... Know any good ones I can use? I mean, several. For this sporking to work, I need to gather plenty of evidence to indict the defendant...

...Oops, did I say too much? :P
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Y'know

Gender: None specified

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:51 pm

Posts: 787

What was more ridiculous than Edgeworth virus fic?
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
User avatar

Cause of death is being dummy

Gender: Female

Location: Metropolitan Atlanta

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 12:23 pm

Posts: 812

Want me to post more kink meme links when I get home? I've found some pretty silly/bad/downright horrifying/perfect punishment sporking material things.
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