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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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*raises hand*
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

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It's another Narumitsu one made by the same artist as the doujin I posted before, titled "I Like You More Than You Think". Notice how much this girl likes to draw lawyers in action scenes.

I guess I should get to translating it for the rest of us sporkers?

Edit: Ahem, for those not interested in more yaoi, here's another precious one I've found of Cykesquill called "The Proposal Strategy". It even has a sequel.

Basically, everyone goes dorky about pairing up those two.

Oh, geez, which one should I start with?
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

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Not a big fan of Cykesquill but the second one has Robin, Myriam, AND Aura in it! I vote that one first! :gant:
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

Blah!

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Archive.org to the rescue! Well, at least it saved the first page...

I think I'll give the support forums for invisionfree a visit tomorrow since it seems they are not aware (publicly, if not privately as well) that that entire domain is down. I'm pretty sure it hosted several forums other than Court Records 1.0.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Please do. My social skills are not up to doing it myself.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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And here I am, bringing you yet another fic from Kink Meme.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9531051/1/ ... aterslides
I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet. — Stanisław Lem
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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The striking part about our ultra-long kink meme is not how disturbing some prompts are, that's just expected, but how silly some of them are.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

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It's Ace Attorney. ANYTHING can happen. See, this is what people learn from this game.


On another note, I'm still working on that manga translation, so please be patient. Hopefully, I won't be interrupted by something in the meantime.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

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I don't usually ship those two, but when I do, I prefer a soothing cup of red tea to accompany my tireless efforts. 54 pages, whew.

Spoiler: "The Proposal Strategy" Part 1
P2

*loud crashing noises coming from laptop*

Apollo: ...

Phoenix: Uh, what are you two doing?

Trucy: Oh! Welcome back, Daddy!


P3

Phoenix: Huh? Are they watching those DVDs Maya sent me?

*Next Week: The Evil Magistrate's Conspiracy!*

Apollo: Trucy said we shouldn't interrupt them...

Trucy: Yeah, since Athena hasn't had time to go on a real date with him.

Apollo: If they wanted to flirt it out, they could just take it outside, find a room for themselves, and leave us be...

Phoenix: ...Um, Apollo?

[A/N: The door's still open.]

Phoenix: We might not be able to avoid locking them up in some room anyway...

Apollo: Why?
Nooo way! They're not gonna do it!? Not even try? Eh? Not even a kiss?

Phoenix: ...Seems like it.
According to what Trucy heard from her, Blackquill said something like "Before I do marry the precious daughter of my master, it is forbidden for me to snatch away her virginity."

Apollo: ...Thinking about it, she would be more precious to him than whatever he thinks of my life.
> At least, that's what it seems.

Blackquill: ...Hey.
What was that racket just now about? It echoed throughout the entire building.


P4

Blackquill: Instead of standing out here hiding and chattering among yourselves, just come in.

Athena: We were waiting for you guys to show up!

Trucy: But we just wanted to leave you two alone!

Athena: Aw, Trucy, you really understand people's feelings!
> Thanks!

Okay, Mr. Wright! Apollo! We're going on ahead!

All three: See you later!

Trucy: They're so much in love, aren't they?

Apollo: No, I'd say they're more annoyed about the people crowding around them.

Phoenix: ...Oh, boy. It's one thing after another.
> Is Blackquill feeling alright?

Apollo: Huh?

Phoenix: Trucy, Apollo, head inside. We have a little something to talk about.

Trucy: Okay, Daddy.


P5

Phoenix: Hold this and take a look at Blackquill.

*cling-clang*

Apollo: Whoa!
Is that guy keeping some sort of immense secret?

Phoenix: No, can you see what color they are?

Apollo: Uh... Kinda pink... maybe purple?

Phoenix: Up until now, I've only seen red and black locks.
It doesn't appear when Blackquill's just by himself, only when he's together with Athena.
It all started from there.
I asked Pearls to check into them.

Pearl: (According to the ancient texts,
black and other colored locks were very rare to find.
They've largely remained a mystery that's lasted up to now.)

P6

Pearl: (It said, "Those Psyche-locks appear when a person tries to suppress
their feelings of lust and firmly believes them to only be a sin.")

Apollo: Whaaaat? What a hopeless guy, that Blackquill!
He even had five of those locks appear!

Phoenix: There were only three the other day...

Apollo: It's because of how far he's willing to take his conviction to uphold his honor and fidelity as a samurai, isn't it?

Phoenix: I guess?

...

Athena: ...Oh, that reminds me. It's already been a week since Aura's release from prison. Has she settled down by now?

Blackquill: Yeah. Whether in prison or out free in the world, she's still the same as ever.

P7

Blackquill: You still visit her from time to time, right?

Athena: Yep.
I wanted to ask her about my mother... among other things.

Blackquill: ...Is that so.

Athena: I even asked her about when you were little, Simon!

Blackquill: What?
Just what did that woman talk about!?

Athena: It's a seeecret.


P8

Athena: ......

P9

Athena: (It's already been a year since then, huh?
Simon...)


P10

Juniper: ...Thena?
Thena, are you okay?

Athena: Ah, sorry!
I was just thinking back to the day when I first met Simon in court...

Juniper: Oh, you mean the Ninetales Vale case?

Athena: Yeah, that one.

Juniper: I wish I was there to see it.
I'm sure Apollo was really cool in there...

Robin: Hey, hey! Why don't you two pair up with those guys and go on a double date sometime?
[T/N: She mentions a place name, "Arafune". I suspect the author means the mountain that goes by that name, located in Gunma Prefecture in central Japan. For our purposes, though we can just leave it out.]

Athena: Hey, about that, Robin...
> Just listen!


P11

Athena: Even though I got really excited over seeing Juni and Apollo get along,
he's way too oblivious to get it! It won't work!

Robin: Oh? You got excited, and then what?

Athena: At some point, I pretended to bump into Juni to push her into him
and get them to hold hands...
> Apollo, We can't have Juni getting lost in this crowd! You should hold onto her!
> Wow, going shopping with Simon! I'm so happy! Yaaay!
> See that, Apollo?
I also tried to get him to buy her a present...

Apollo> Er... you wanna get that?

And finally, we left them alone to themselves...

Apollo> Huh? Where'd they go?

But in the end, he didn't get into the dating mood at all! Not, at, all!
Ugh, it looks like it's pointless unless Juni outright confesses to him.

Juniper: N-no thanks! It's embarrassing!

Athena> But he doesn't have a girlfriend, so go for it!

I... I was content with just getting to go on a date with Apollo...
> thanks to Thena and Mr. Blackquill...

Robin: Daaaww! You're such a sweetie, Juniper!

Athena: Um, I guess it's okay if you're happy about it...

Robin: But ya know? It's weird that Mr. Birdman even went along with it.

Athena: Yeah, you're right.
He was really nice to lend me a hand...

Juniper: Aw, Thena's blushing.

Robin: That's so cute! I should get a boyfriend too...


P12

Robin: Hmm... If you don't mind me asking,
After going on a date with him, did you two stay the night together?
Right next to him, even?

Athena: No... that'd just be...

Juniper, Robin: Whaaat?

Athena: Why do you both have the same reaction?
> Trucy was there too!
...Besides, I promised my mom that I wouldn't do it until after I got married.

Juniper: Well, you are her most precious treasure, after all.

Robin> Oh, that's so beautiful!

Athena: Yeah.
I know that, but...
Lately, I've been...


P13

Athena: ...hearing all this noise.
It's so loud...
as if he was locking his true feelings away deep in his heart.
It's too complicated for me to make out what it's saying.

Robin: So you can't figure out anything?

Athena: Yep.
I really want to talk with him about it, but I don't think it'd be appropriate in court.

Juniper: Thena...


P14

[A/N: They're all probably virgins, so they don't have an answer to their sexual drives.]
[T/N: Typo. I suspect it's supposed to be 模様 at the end. I can't find a definition for "模用" anywhere.]

Myriam: Sss sss sss...
You fools!
If you just leave it at that,
you're bound to fall into infidelity!

Athena: No, no! It's not like that, Myriam!

Robin: Yeah! Birdguy and Athena are already tied by the thread of destiny anyway!

Myriam: Oh, I don't think so!
If you stop making a fuss about it, you'll only have to accept the harsh reality!
And you'll be the one to take responsibility!

Athena: That's just silly!
No matter how many times you say it, staying the night with him won't work out!

Robin: But you're okay with him whenever, aren't you?

Athena: But he's never even tried to kiss me...
> He did give me a peck on the cheek before, though

Juniper, Robin: Really?

Robin: But something like a kiss wouldn't count as premarital sex.

Myriam> Sss sss sss...

Athena: Yeah, you think so too, right?

Juniper: ...
That's right! Thena, why don't you just give him a kiss?

Athena: Even you, Juni!?


P15

Juniper: If you go ahead with it, I may even find the courage to confess to Apollo!

Athena: Juni...

Juniper: I'll try to help any way I can!

Athena: Hmm...
I guess I do feel like kissing him...

Juniper> Right?

Robin> Right?

Myriam> Sss sss sss

Robin> I'll also give you my all to heeeelp!

Myriam: I'll plant this trump card and draw him in!

Athena: Thank you, everyone!

...

Blackquill: What did you need to see me for, sir?

Edgeworth: ...Hm.
As the Chief Prosecutor, I suggest you take parental leave.


P16

Blackquill: What?

Edgeworth: Since there have been too many requests coming in, it's been rather noisy up here.
First of all, you should take the initiative and act as a model for the rest of your co-workers.

> Is he indirectly telling me I've been designated for assignment?
Blackquill: ...Taking a leave or not, I don't have a wife anyway.

> That's not my point
Edgeworth: The one in this office who's closest to proposing marriage is you.
Aren't you planning to marry Ms. Cykes sometime soon?

Blackquill: ...Even then, it's still too soon at this time.

Edgeworth: "At this time", meaning it's just about settled, correct?

Blackquill: ...Well. Perhaps when Athena has reached 20 years of age.

Edgeworth: Oh?
Was that a promise you've made to her mother?

Blackquill: No...
It's nothing like that.
Just something I decided on my own.


P17

Edgeworth: ...Hm.
It's as what Wright said. Once I bring her up into the conversation, those locks would appear.

Blackquill: What?
What's that strange toy you've brought out?
...Oh, I see. I've heard about it from Athena.

Edgeworth: I can prove it to you that it isn't some fake.
It's been bothering me for a while too.
Ever since you've been released from prison, your face hasn't been as pale as it used to be... Rather, those bags under your eyes have faded.
From there, I've figured it out. Furthermore, there's also what Wright had told me.

Wright: (Even seeing them up close, Athena's always pushing for him.
Since Blackquill can't show up late for work even once, she'd always wait for him at the office so they can head home together. Plus, she'd always cling to his arm whenever they take walks. Just the other day, Athena even fell asleep on his lap while watching some DVDs with him.)

Edgeworth: All that is reason enough for me to think it's a very important matter.
It's unusual for you to display such behavior so openly before others.

Blackquill: I don't enjoy acting that way in front of others either.
> And for starters, it's just Athena who acts that way

Edgeworth: Yet, according to Wright...

Wright: (Whenever she's that happy, you really can't refuse her, can you?)

Edgeworth: ...isn't that right?
I do admire your resolve to withhold any intimate desires you may have before marriage.
However...
She is most definitely of legal age. Not to mention, Ms. Cykes is a respectable member of society. Everyone from the courts to her associates and even herself can admit to this.
There's no reason for you to continue avoiding to consent to premarital intercourse or entering into your family registers.

Blackquill: Excuse me, sir...
But if you have the free time to spend it pushing your 29-year-old subordinate into intimacy with a 19-year-old girl, then you who's already 35 should look for a wife of his own!
Even though I don't care that I haven't been with a woman during my prison days, but why would you specifically insist on choosing her?
You even have a certain strange old bag who's always doting on you.

Edgeworth: GAH

P19

[A/N: boss who can't utter a single grunt at how his subordinate got a girlfriend so soon after his release]

Edgeworth: ...So, you do have some sort of reason
to wait until Ms. Cykes is 20, don't you?

Blackquill: ...Though, it's only if she doesn't change her mind later.

Edgeworth: ...Hm?

Blackquill: Think about it.
At that time, she was only an 11-year-old grade schooler.
It was by chance that I became like a first love to her, but while she had that annoying ability, through those eyes, I saw how she continued to live after the trauma she was enveloped in seven years ago.
She may have just mistaken it as a fateful encounter, just like a kid would believe.
Even now, as she's living her usual life,
She may have even awakened to find some other young man to fall for.


P20

Edgeworth: ...

Blackquill: When that happens, I will be too late to reach out to Athena.
I will have no choice but to slit my stomach before my late master.

Edgeworth: However, it will only be one more year before Ms. Cykes turns 20.

Blackquill: That's when the question of the matter will be become clear.

Edgeworth: And you're simply going to wait until then? It will be too late if you push toward the very limits.

Blackquill: Limits?
Then, I'll take these troubles with me even when I cross the River Styx,
[He mentions the name of a fabled river, the Sanzu River, which is basically the Japanese variant of the Styx.]
no matter what happens to me.

Edgeworth: Blackquill...


P21

Aura: Are you an idiot!?
What are you trying to act cool about!?

Both: !?

Blackquill: Why are you even here!?

Aura: The police said they would return all the things they confiscated from me, and I came by to pick them up.
Since there's a lot of stuff, I was going to ask you to help me.
But since you and the Chief Prosecutor were so busy talking, I was told to wait by the receptionist's.
But I didn't want to bother waiting that long.

> Barging into the Prosecutor's Office like it's no one's business...
Blackquill: ...My apologies, sir. She's always been that kind of woman.

Edgeworth: Hm.
> Yes, I know.

Aura: I was listening in from outside the door, and you've been piling on nothing but complaints.
In short, aren't you just scared to lose your chances to other men?

P22

Aura: The point is, you shouldn't just give up quietly. What you should do is backtrack to your prison days. Slash through those guys!
Don't make me laugh!
Deep down, you just wanna rob that princess of her virginity! F*ck her silly and make some babies, don't you!?
> Ahahahaha!
> He's gotta been hounded about it in prison!

Edgeworth: A w-woman should not speak of such vulgar things!
> Nngoooooh!

Aura: Don't hold back! Have as many babies as you want! Then just have her put them up for adoption! It's what Metis would want!
> I'm looking forward to the wedding!

Blackquill: Are you a demon witch from the Feudal Age!?
> She'll be a widow even without getting married!
If you want a daughter so much, then hurry up and find someone to make your own!

Aura: Hah! Like I want to be bothered with marriage! I'm just fine by myself!

Blackquill: When you finally turn into a withering old hag yourself, I won't bother seeing you anymore!

Aura: I wouldn't want to your help anyway! When you become a bearded geezer yourself, just rust away in the nursery home like that Piece of Junk!

Edgeworth: Stop this sibling quarrel at once!


P23

Edgeworth: If you need to collect those confiscated items, then get to it! In any case, just settle down, both of you!
> These two are a special case!

Aura: Oh? You're actually able to speak up.

Blackquill: How disgraceful...

Edgeworth: Just get going already!

Aura: You don't have to say it. I was leaving anyway.
Ah, yeah. One more thing, Simon.
That girl...
If you don't marry her, you'll end up forever alone.

Blackquill: You're quick to assert that.

Aura: I'm making a bet.


P24

Aura: That girl would always bring it up whenever she often came to visit me in detention.
She was desperate to become an attorney to save you.
Before she wanted to become one, she was seriously considering ways to break you out of jail.
She even tried learning things like making bombs or handling heavy artillery, and she even planned to hire someone to drive a getaway car or plane.

Blackquill: She was actually going to do what you would do, huh...

Edgeworth: It was best that Wright led her down the path of an attorney.

Aura: It was a weight on her shoulders. That said, she's the stubborn and honest type, so she wouldn't turn away so easily.
That is exactly... what Metis would have wanted.

Blackquill: ...!


P25

Phoenix: ...I see.
Not until she's turned 20... huh?
I guess it's a little too soon to ask Maya or Pearl to call Athena's mother back.
It doesn't seem like she'll come at this time anyway.
...But, it looks like Aura's advice came through.

Edgeworth: Indeed.

Phoenix: It's often said that they would know fully well. I hope those two will happily get together soon.

Edgeworth: Same here.


P26

A/N: For now, just wanted to draw them going shopping for lucky underwear.

Continue from here...


Spoiler: Part 2
P27

Blackquill: I heard you've been going through hard financial times and needed a hand with your business?

Phoenix: It was Juniper who asked for you, you see.

Apollo: We've still got an awful lot of things left.
> We're grateful, really

Phoenix: Mr. Blackquill, if you don't mind, please help carry these boxes.

Athena: The veggies from Juni's home garden are really delicious!

Apollo: Athena, don't you think you've gotten too many at once...?

Phoenix: How about carrying them one at a time?

Athena: I'm okay! I got it!


P28

Blackquill: I'll bring them to your house for you.

[(1) Operation Mass Veggie Delivery Success]

Athena: (Alright!)

Phoenix, Apollo: ...

Athena> I'll hold this one!

Apollo: Athena looks like she's planning something.

Phoenix: I hope it'll be fine...
> Those Psyche-locks led to something incredible


P29

Athena: Can you bring it into the kitchen?

Blackquill: I don't want tea or anything. I'll just leave it here and get out.

> Tch...
Athena: You saw right through it, huh?

*twinkle*

Athena: Hiyah!

Blackquill: !!


P30

Athena: Hmph!
*yoink*

Blackquill: !!!
*oomph*

[(2) Operation Catch Blackquill Trap v.1, planned by Myriam & built by Robin, Success]

Athena: Yyyes!


P31

Blackquill: Hey!
What are you pulling this stupid prank on me for...?


P32

*jangle*

Athena: Here...
the master key.

...I'm sorry
that I got you into this.
I'm so happy that you treasure me so much.
...I just wanted to... give you a kiss...


P33

Athena: From here, I can hear so much noise coming from you.
...I don't know why, though.
For some reason, I thought back to what happened last year.
Even though I finally got to meet with you
and was already so close to you,
I knew I couldn't approach the prosecution's bench
from the defense's.
I stretched out my hand, but couldn't reach you.
You didn't call me "Athena", but "Cykes-dono".
It felt like I was being pushed away that way...
And then...


P34

Blackquill: ...!

Athena: You didn't change at all since 7 years ago. You turned your back on anything and everything all to protect me.
You were trying to protect me by giving me those bitter eyes, but I didn't want them.


P35

Athena: If I can't bring you close to me,
then next time, please part ways with me...

*pliiing*

*snap*

Athena: Ah...

Blackquill: ...Geez.
Always doing whatever you want...

Athena: (Simon...
is he mad at me?)

P38

Athena: !!
...mm...

*beeeeeep*
*boom*

...hah...


P39

Blackquill: ...

*screech*

*door open & shut*


P40

Phoenix: ...Athena, what happened between you two?
> Uh-oh...

Athena: ..........mmf.
*mutter*

Phoenix: Huh?

Athena: It's all my faaault... Even Widget broke.

Phoenix: What?

Athena: It's gotta be some sort of cuuuurse...

Phoenix> So did it go to plan or not...?


P41

Phoenix: Why don't you try calling him for now?

Athena: I tried, but he wouldn't pick up...

Phoenix: Well... that is a problem, huh?

Athena: (Simon...
got mad at me.
Really mad...!)

P42

Athena: ...
*ba-bump*

Phoenix: Hey, Athena! It's Prosecutor Blackquill!

*panic*


P43

Phoenix: Hm?
(One of the locks is gone!)

Athena: Mr. Blackquill!
Um...! I...

Blackquill: Here.

Athena: ...Ah...
He gave me back the keeeey...

Blackquill: ...Wright-dono.

Phoenix: Uh... yes?


P44

Blackquill: I need your help for a bit.

Phoenix: What!? This is...

Athena: It's all overrrr...

Blackquill: ...Athena.
Look carefully at that key.

Athena: It's not... for my house?

Phoenix: How's this?

Blackquill: Oh, you have my thanks.


P45

Blackquill: Next up...
is yours.

Athena: Huh...?
Whaaaaaaat!?


P46

*Steel Samurai Theme*

Phoenix: What now, at a time like this!?
...Hello? Oh, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: Did Blackquill head over there, Wright!?

[T/N: It's a family registry form. They're adding each other's names to officially recognize their marriage. Both "Miles Edgeworth" and "Phoenix Wright" are listed as witnesses.]

Phoenix: Hold on! Right now...

*beep*
[T/N: probably turned on the speaker]

Athena: ...!
...!!

Blackquill: ...
If you don't want to, then it can't be helped. I'll tear it up and toss it.

Athena: Aaah! No, dooon't!


P47

Athena: ...I, I'm so nervous my hand's shaking...
Ah! I wrote it wrong!

Blackquill: Calm down!

[T/N: She messed up the "koko" part of her name.]

*pliiing, pliiing, pliiing*

Phoenix: (We did it, Edgeworth.)

Edgeworth: Whew.

P48

Phoenix: Athena, Mr. Blackquill, congrats!

Blackquill: Yeah. It's also thanks to you all for this and that.
Let's head off for the ward office, Athena.

Athena: Eep...
Eep eep!

*wobble*

Phoenix: (Oh, there's one more left over.)
> Ah, well, maybe tomorrow
Wow, even I was nervous even though I was just watching them.
> *sigh* what a relief
...
When Trucy does get a husband of her own, I'll be pretty lonely, won't I?

Edgeworth: Is that so?
> irked

Phoenix: ...Edgeworth, you up for some drinks?

Edgeworth: Sure.


P49

Blackquill: How long are you going to stay shocked, Athena?

> Ack!
Athena: I, I still can't believe it.
...because... you got angry with me and all.

Blackquill: ...I wasn't angry at you.
I was angry at my own foolishness.


P50

Blackquill: Even after I threw away my own life, thinking that would bring happiness to the one I wished to protect,
my idiot self led that person to grieve for me instead.
I couldn't help but feel disgusted by my own ignorance.

Athena: Simon...
...
Are you okay with us crossing arms?

Blackquill: Huh? Even when you become quiet, you'd still do that, so why haven't you today?

Athena: Because the last time I did it, you pushed me away and ran off without me.

Blackquill: Ah, yes, about that... You must be aware of the terrible destructive power behind your breasts!

*squish*

> Don't you dare mess with someone who's gone through 7 years of hard prison life!
Upon becoming harassed by such an attack from your cleavage, I had to exercise so much self-restraint against the produced imagery that my heart began to waver and tense!

Athena: Th-the real identity of that noise was THAAAT!?
> I know I did it on purpose, but it had that much of an effect!?
Waah! I'm so embarrassed now!
> Aaaaaah

Blackquill: Make up your mind! Are we crossing arms or not!?

Athena: Ooh...
Fine!

Blackquill> That's more like it.

P52

Blackquill: ...Athena.
Tomorrow, let's go buy a wedding ring.

Athena: OK!

*door open & shut*


P53

*pliiiiing*


P54

Athena: Aaaaah! Wait, I don't have my lucky panties on right now!

Blackquill: Like I give a damn about those details!

[A/N: Thank you for reading.]


And thank you for giving me such a tedious assignment, Airey. (The worst of it was the indistinguishable kanji at times, yeesh.) So, who's up for this sporking?
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Hahaha sorry. I can't really do much online until after spring break (the week after next) but if no one's claimed it by then, I'll spork it when I get back from Europe! :salute:
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Hi guys. I've written another sporking and I need someone to edit it, but Airey isn't able at the moment, so if somone wants to help me, please PM me.
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Hello! For the past few days I've been reading through the sporks on this thread, and I've been loving it! They never fail to make me laugh.

I was wondering, what characters do you find harder to write? I'm wanting to attempt to do a spork, but I'm not to confident in my writing skills, so I want to try something a bit easier. From what I've heard Fransizka seems pretty easy to flanderize. (I should note I've only played up to T&T, so I don't think I could write any AJ or DD characters. )

I'm sorry for how awkward this introduction was. :bellboy:
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Yatta.

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No worries! We welcome all sorts of writers here! If you want to try your hand on one, click here for our most recently updated list (or the few others scattered over the this and the previous page). And choose any sporker you want. As of late, we've brought in any sorts of characters regardless of whether they're sporkers or "management" or just visitors.

I feel pretty natural with most characters, but I tend to focus on the main cast. Godot is certainly one of the more difficult ones to capture just because of how much of a badass he is that is often lost within a multitude of coffee puns and analogies. It's a similar problem with Blackquill, to a lesser extent. I notice that even Edgeworth sometimes comes off as a little too flat when he's not being sarcastic (which ends up as 90% of the time). As for Franziska, she's not too bad; just tone down on the number of times she ends up throwing a fit.

Speaking of which, which number of (incredible) sporkings am I on now? I didn't keep track.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Rubia has been helping me out and the sporking is finally ready, so, without further ado...

Welcome to another chapter of 'There has to be a line where you can't even call it porn anymore' with luck! Today's fic is Our Love Will Survive by KookieEvans.

Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: Basically, a not-very well written smutty fic with very very unfortunate implications.

And today's sporkers are...

:maya: Maya Fey!

"It's been so long since my last sporking that I almost miss it."

:edgeworth: Miles Edgeworth!

"You'll regret those words before this is over."

:think-pw: Phoenix Wright!

"Do you know something about today's fic?"

And...

:think-think-think: Apollo Justice!

"Not that he needs to tell that."




[We open up in our sporking theater. Miles Edgeworth and Apollo Justice are already seated, while Maya Fey and Phoenix Wright have just entered.]

Maya: Hi, guys! It's been a while.

Edgeworth: I whole-heartedly envy you.

Phoenix: Why are you so upbeat, anyway? Don't you remember what your last sporking was?

Maya: No. I made a great effort to forget it.

Apollo: Let's just get this over with.

Speakers: Your wish is our command. As long as they are according to our plans.

[The lights dim and the fic starts]

Quote:
The warm water from the shower cascaded down over Phoenix's head, completely flattening his black spikes.


Phoenix: Hey! My hair doesn't flatten with water! That's Apollo's. Mine is totally natural.

Maya: It's true. I've seen him soaked.

Phoenix: I can show you. Apollo, bring water.

Apollo: If you want water bottles, they're sitting right across from you.

Maya: Come on, Apollo! Don't you want to see his magical superpowered hair? It might even change colors...

Apollo: No.

Phoenix: ...Maya, if you expect him to do something, you need to work on your descriptions.

Apollo: I don't want water getting anywhere near my hair.

Quote:
Mia smiled, nuzzling her face into her lover's back.


Phoenix: Chief!?

Maya: Sis!?

Phoenix: Why are we having a shower together!?

Edgeworth: Does the word 'lover' mean anything to you?

Phoenix: Management, if you're so eager to show us smut, you could at least choose a fic where none of the people here appears.

Speakers: Well, we've found recently a very explicit TrucyxMr. Hat fic, if you're interested.

Phoenix: Are you trying to bluff the master of bluff? There can't be someone sick enough to write that.

Edgeworth: Are you willing to take the risk?

Apollo: I'm certainly not. Keep this one.

Quote:
His hair was a lot longer than she had expected. Then again, she hadn't seen him for years. It was bound to have grown.


Apollo: You know, people cut their hair when it's too long.

Phoenix: She hasn't seen me for years? I hope this is not implying what I think it's implying.

Edgeworth: Why do you keep hoping things here, Wright?

Quote:
She ran a hand across his neck, slender fingers dancing across his skin round to the front of his body, and scraped her long nails down his throat, brushing his adam's apple and leaving red marks. He shuddered delightfully, and she smirked.


Maya: 'She scraped her long nails down his throat, brushing his adam's apple and leaving red marks'? Is that supposed to be a smutty scene?

Edgeworth: It sounds rather painful.

Phoenix: Why do people describe sex scenes as if it were a murder?

Apollo: I wish it were a murder.

Quote:
"M-Mia…" Phoenix gasped shakily, and she pressed her luscious lips against the back of his neck, making sure she pushed her body hard to his so he could feel her nipples erect against his back.


Apollo: Wouldn't it make more sense if the back was the luscious thing in that sentence?

Mia: Oh. The sporking theatre.

Phoenix: Maya couldn't take more of this, huh?

Edgeworth: None of us would be here if we could escape somehow.

Quote:
"God, I've missed this so much Phoenix." She murmured, trailing her hand lazily over his chest. His breath caught in his throat.


Apollo: If she has missed it so much, why does she do it lazily?

Phoenix: And what's that supposed to mean by 'his breath caught in his throat'?

Quote:
"So have I. It's been so long…" He broke off into a hiss as her hand lowered, brushing against his long organ.


Mia: Don't they usually cut out the sex scenes?

Phoenix: They could very well be talking about the musical instrument with that description. A long one.

Apollo: That you just happen to have in your shower.

[She keeps playing with his 'long organ' and...]

Quote:
he bucked his hips forward, desperate for more contact.


Phoenix: What did I just do?

Apollo: You bucked. Like a horse.

Mia: This fic makes me more confused than uncomfortable.

Quote:
"Naughty, naughty!" Mia withdrew her hand and tutted at him as he whined. "Be a good boy, and I'll give you what you want…"

Phoenix let out a shaky breath, and shuddered.


Apollo: That sentence...doesn't really make any sense here.

Phoenix: Fic-me sure is afraid of whatever it means.

Quote:
"Mia…do you think we're doing the right thing?" Phoenix gulped, and he felt the brunette step away from him, and he mourned the loss of her body heat.


Edgeworth: Really, author? Mourned?

Quote:
"W-What do you mean?" She stuttered, suddenly unsure of herself.


Mia: Fic-me seems pretty emotionally unstable, all of a sudden.

Quote:
"Well, it's not you is it? I mean, it might be your soul, but it's Maya's body…" He pressed his eyes shut tightly.


Mia: What!?

Phoenix: No, Fic-me! What you're doing is not right!

Edgeworth: Certainly, it could even be considered rape.

Quote:
"Phoenix look at me." She took him by the shoulders and spun him around so that he was facing her, and she took his hand in hers. She placed his hand to her heart, so he could feel the thumping of the familiar and comfortable beat. "Does it look like Maya's body? Does this feel like her heartbeat?"

"No." Phoenix's chocolate eyes snapped onto hers. "No it doesn't."


Apollo: Sure. The heartbeat. That's the main difference he's feeling in her chest.

Mia: Mr. Justice!

Apollo: Sorry, Ms. Fey. I'm just trying to keep my sanity.

Phoenix: You don't seem too scarred today.

Edgeworth: That's just the platinum rule of the sporking theatre.

All: You better than me.

Quote:
And with that he kissed her.

He moved his mouth slowly against Mia's, softly, softly, until she forced his mouth open, plundering it ruthlessly.


Apollo: How do you plunder a mouth ruthlessly?

Phoenix: How do you plunder a mouth at all?

Edgeworth: Apparently, out of place metaphors are a given in this kind of fic.

Phoenix: But what's it supposed to mean?

Apollo: Maybe it's really literal. Do you have any gold teeth?

Phoenix: If I had, I would have sold them in my disbarred years.

Apollo: Trucy can be a really expensive girl, huh?

Phoenix: Yeah, well. That and grape juice.

Apollo: (Why did I decide to work for him again?)

Quote:
He fought back as well as he could, but it was obvious she was winning. She explored every inch of his mouth, leaving her mark. Then she smirked against his mouth, and bit down on the fleshy pad of his lower lip, hard enough to make it bleed.


Mia: Is this a kiss or a battle?

Edgeworth: A recurrent question in this kind of fic, too.

Quote:
"Ah!" Phoenix pulled back with shock, and looked up at Mia, then groaned. He was never more turned on than when he saw her, a dangerous glint in her eye, an evil grin on her face and his blood trickling from her thick lips.


Phoenix: No offense to anyone, but...that's sick.

Quote:
In seconds he pulled her back into his arms, snarling and biting at her long, pure neck. He grinned at the harsh red marks he had left as her fingernails scratched down his back.


Apollo: Really, are they making out or trying to kill each other?

Phoenix: I don't even know anymore.

Mia: Biting a neck until leaving red marks sounds pretty excessive.

Apollo: Unless you're a vampire.

Phoenix: First a horse and now a vampire. I'm afraid of what this thing could turn into if Fic-me keeps transforming.

Quote:
"Can't wait any longer…" He panted and Mia nodded in agreement, then slammed him against the wall, lowering her head to his chest to graze his sensitive nipples with her teeth.


Mia: Men nipples aren't all that sensitive.

Apollo: But it'd still hurt if someone grazed them with their teeth.

Quote:
Phoenix tried out, and played with her in response until they were hard little buds. They were both sweaty and panting now, and they both knew it was time.


Edgeworth: Hard little buds? Really, author? That's the classiest comparison you could come up with?

Quote:
Phoenix cupped her white rounded buttocks with his hands, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, then swung herself up so that her feet were either side of his hips.


Mia: That's a rather difficult movement to perform in that position.

Apollo: Now you're acrobats at a circus.

Phoenix: Now I'm imagining a vampire horse doing acrobatics.

[And they get to the thing.]

Quote:
She used her feet which were firmly planted on the tiled wall, to push herself away so he was almost completely out of her, then slammed herself back against him.


Phoenix: W-what!?

Apollo: Yep. Definitely acrobats at a circus.

Mia: This shower sure is roomy.

[And they keep with the thing.]

Quote:
Mia's hips raised faster to meet his, and she cried out as each thrust made his throbbing manhood brush against that special spot inside her. She could feel the tension inside her rising and rising until she thought she would explode.


Mia: 'Throbbing manhood'?

Phoenix: 'Special spot inside her'?

Edgeworth: There has to be a stupid euphemism competition going on somewhere. There's no other explanation.

[And they get over with the thing.]

Quote:
The slipped to the shower floor together, water still pounding on their skin, and instead of pulling out they pushed towards each other so much it felt like they were the only two people in the universe.


Edgeworth: If they don't count the spirit medium whose body they've profaned.

Phoenix: The water have been flowing all this time? Next bill is going to be expensive. I don't think I can afford such a waste.

Apollo: At least Fic-you is in-character when it comes to economical responsibility.

Phoenix: I always can cut your salary if I ever need it. (Power feels great. Now I understand Edgeworth.)

Maya: What did I miss?

Apollo: They used your body for sexual purposes without taking any precautions.

Maya: *goes pale*

Edgeworth: Never forget the mythril rule of the sporking theater, Maya.

All: Never. Ask.

[And so, another sporking ends, with our sporkers more scarred than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow.]
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@Luck amazing sporking! Those metaphors were something else, that's for sure. I always enjoy it when Mia shows up.

@Rubia thank you for the advice and the links! There are a few that catch my eye, so I think I'll try to do one, even if I don't post it.
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Your Honor! There is a contradiction!

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I actually have a few questions for whoever runs this shindig:
Is it possible for one person sporks or does there have to be two people?
Also are there any untaken Apollo ones at the moment? I love seeing the guy suffer.
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Airey and Rubia - noone comes here anymore to spork horrible AA FanFictions. Does that mean the Sporkhouse is adjourned? :shy:
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This account is dead. Link to my DeviantART.
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Ace Pointer wrote:
Airey and Rubia - noone comes here anymore to spork horrible AA FanFictions. Does that mean the Sporkhouse is adjourned? :shy:


If that's the case, I can only think of two things.
Either someone keeps it going or someone writes the sporker's freedom.
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Don't be silly. We will continue to keep this thread going. Even if it takes a several-month break in silence, the Theater will live on in its fullest glory!

Unless, of course, you guys actually want things to end, but where's the fun in that?

Incidentally, Airey's gone abroad for Europe and might not be back for some few days (not sure when she'll be back). I, meanwhile, have been busy maintaining a now chaotic blog among my busy work schedule, so I haven't had time to get to any more. If anyone else would like to keep things going, feel free to do so. I'll be keeping tabs from the shadows if anyone needs me.

And @shippersdreamer No, a sporking doesn't have a required number of sporkers, but it's somewhat sad if it's only one without anyone else but the Management or the guards to talk to. And as for Apollo fics, Airey's still got that huge list of untaken fics: viewtopic.php?p=1296157#p1296157

And then there are those few manga I've picked up from pixiv (posted at the top of this page), but some of them will need to be translated. If anyone's interested in sporking any of them, let me know.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Your Honor! There is a contradiction!

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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Don't be silly. We will continue to keep this thread going. Even if it takes a several-month break in silence, the Theater will live on in its fullest glory!

Unless, of course, you guys actually want things to end, but where's the fun in that?

Incidentally, Airey's gone abroad for Europe and might not be back for some few days (not sure when she'll be back). I, meanwhile, have been busy maintaining a now chaotic blog among my busy work schedule, so I haven't had time to get to any more. If anyone else would like to keep things going, feel free to do so. I'll be keeping tabs from the shadows if anyone needs me.

And @shippersdreamer No, a sporking doesn't have a required number of sporkers, but it's somewhat sad if it's only one without anyone else but the Management or the guards to talk to. And as for Apollo fics, Airey's still got that huge list of untaken fics: viewtopic.php?p=1296157#p1296157

And then there are those few manga I've picked up from pixiv (posted at the top of this page), but some of them will need to be translated. If anyone's interested in sporking any of them, let me know.


Oh sweet!
Are there any requirements needed to spork now! I gave it a shot the last time I was here (unfortunately, school and personal issues kept me away for so long), or are the rules generally still the same as last time?
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Go wild. I've already brought back the original Management, but you're free to change up the members to anyway you wish. Heck, bring in some new characters while you're at it.

Of course, by this point, I think some of these veteran sporkers may have begun to experience chronic cases of depression, but I'll leave the details to your sporks.

I can also act as an editor if you'd like, in case there's anything you want me to help with. I look forward to working with new sporkers!
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Your Honor! There is a contradiction!

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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Go wild. I've already brought back the original Management, but you're free to change up the members to anyway you wish. Heck, bring in some new characters while you're at it.

Of course, by this point, I think some of these veteran sporkers may have begun to experience chronic cases of depression, but I'll leave the details to your sporks.

I can also act as an editor if you'd like, in case there's anything you want me to help with. I look forward to working with new sporkers!


Oh wow. I read Turnabout Hedgehog.
I might decide to take that one, that's....wow.
Y'know I feel kinda bad for Phoenix and Gumshoe now.
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Ace Pointer wrote:
Airey and Rubia - noone comes here anymore to spork horrible AA FanFictions. Does that mean the Sporkhouse is adjourned? :shy:


Just wanted to point out in case anyone wondered that there are still some non-sporkers reading this thread.I would love to give it a try but I don't think I have enough writing skills,specially when it comes to jokes.
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We appreciate the loyal viewership, guys, and we by no means are forcing you to participate. It's all on an up-to-you basis.

I never thought I'd say this, but it seems my works are in demand during Airey's absence. Since I am at a loss regarding what to move onto, I'm up for suggestions. Is there anything in particular you guys want me to spork?
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
We appreciate the loyal viewership, guys, and we by no means are forcing you to participate. It's all on an up-to-you basis.

I never thought I'd say this, but it seems my works are in demand during Airey's absence. Since I am at a loss regarding what to move onto, I'm up for suggestions. Is there anything in particular you guys want me to spork?


I say surprise us!
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I don't really have any fic in mind,though I generally prefer the "So bad,it's hilarious" fics over the ones which are just boring.

EDIT: OMG 666 post.I dunno how that relates to this thread,but people usually point out this stuff so whatever.
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@Rubia If you'd like suggestions, I'd love to see this one : https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10876823/1 ... ISOOOOOOON

The only problem is that they seem to know that we're considering it, so it may be a bit of a moral question if you'd want to do it (if that even makes sense).
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MY GOD How did you know which one I was gonna pick!?

...Er, I mean, I'm totally not going with it. I-it's a surprise, see... ;>3>
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
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Welp, cat's outta the bag. As much as I'd love to touch on the kink meme stuff, there are just too many Wrightworth fics to choose, so I'm going for something completely different. Besides, this sporking was basically requested by the author, and I have no qualms about it.

DAMON GANT ESCAPS FROM PRISOOOOOOON

Rating: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit:
Ah, man. I have not given a Four-Sahwit rating in a long... wait, did I ever? Maybe. Anyway, I figured my inner Grammar Nazi self was pricking up again, and this one is way too stupid not to spork. I hope you all enjoy!

Cast: :phoenix: :edgeworth: :maya: :franny:

------------------------------------

[Rumors say that the Sporking Theater has been a hotspot for media coverage. As time goes on, it seems they are becoming more and more likely to be true. However, what better way to up the ante with some extra excitement? Go on, sporkers. Give us an answer.]

Phoenix: Uh... have I already snapped, or is the intro talking to us?

Edgeworth: As much as I'd like to choose the former, even I heard a voice coming from somewhere outside the speakers.

Maya: Geez, just when you thought the theater couldn't get creepier... but this has got to be another of those pranks from the Management, right?

Speakers: Well, if it isn't our favorite ace attorneys and company! It's good to see you again!

Phoenix: D-Damon Gant!?

Edgeworth: Hadn't the original Management returned? Where have they left now!?

Franziska: Miles Edgeworth! What is the meaning of this!? The only reason I returned was for the opportunity to whip those fools silly!

Edgeworth: It was the truth, Franziska! Those good-for-nothing excuses were actually here!

Phoenix: And I can stand by that. I was here with him when they returned.

Speakers: Now, now. There's no need for this hostility. The original staff simply reconsidered taking another temporary leave.

Phoenix: Another one!? They came back for only one session!

Speakers: Haha! You losers actually thought things were gonna get back to "normal"! This Sporking Theater is free reign, you know!

Maya: W-wait, isn't that...?

*crack*

Phoenix: Ow!

Franziska: Enough fooling around! If those whimpering, whiny wusses of "management" are not present, then I have no point in staying!

Phoenix: (Aim that thing away from me! Why turn me into collateral!?)

Edgeworth: Franziska, you should know by now that once you enter this theater, you won't be leaving until we've had to endure through at least one of these horrid creations.

Franziska: Hmph. Haven't you noticed the lack of security of this building, Miles? There's not a guard to be found, now that this site has gone to rack and ruin. What is there to stop me from stepping out now?

Speakers: Oh, if you must know, we've actually undergone security improvements.

Franziska: W-what?

[And "clank" go the lobby entrance doors.]

Maya: Whoa! They've locked us in!

Phoenix: What the!?

Speakers: Even though I'm no longer a chief at all, it doesn't mean I can't contribute something to this theater! And I figured those poor guards needed a break from time to time, so I've asked a few sponsors to install automatic lockdown systems in here!

Whoa-ho, dude! It's, like, about time! This dilapidated building really needed some refurnishing. We're living in the 21st century, yeah?


All: ...

Edgeworth: As I thought. The lack of security was too good to be true.

Phoenix: Well, you sure came in here without a sign of hesitation.

Edgeworth: Come on, Wright. I wouldn't be nearly so naive. I simply didn't see the point to bothering to escape. At the very least, the theater is still in working order. We might as well enjoy our stay.

All: ...

Phoenix: Uh, Edgeworth? You doing okay?

Maya: Uh-oh. Looks like Mr. Edgeworth's finally gone over the edge... er, pun not intended.

Phoenix: Oh, and here I thought you were waiting to say that.

Maya: Will he be alright?

*crack*

Edgeworth: Mmph!

Franziska: It's much too early to be giving in, Miles Edgeworth! Have some backbone!

Edgeworth: Ugh... O-of course I know that. But the sooner we get through it, the sooner we can leave.

Franziska: Management! *crack* Hurry up and get to your stupid, pointless, asinine fanfiction already!

Speakers: My, my... We never would have expected that you would come to ask so eagerly to begin. This theater sure has come a long way.

All: !!

Franziska: So, you WERE here all this time! Get over here so I can whip you!

Phoenix: Ms. von Karma, I highly doubt they'd listen to you, especially when you're like thi- Yeooww!

Franziska: I didn't ask for your opinion.

Phoenix: Yes, ma'am. Sorry.

Maya: Um, yeah... well, here's to hoping this next one won't be too torturous! Or a rape fic. I think I've had enough of those already.

Edgeworth: Another rule of thumb, Maya: Never doubt that a fic can become a rape fic.

Maya: Y-you don't have to remind me, Mr. Edgeworth!

[And now we skip to the screening room for the very amusing adventure that awaits them.]

Spoiler:
Quote:
DAMON GANT ESCAPS FROM PRISON


Maya: Uh-oh. Capital overload alert.

Franziska: Oh, for crying out loud! Why must these imbeciles invite me for some pathetic mess of a fanfic which never utilizes proofreading!?

Phoenix: I'd probably go with "marketing value"... Oww!

Franziska: And this is why you deserve to play the role of "whip bait", Mr. Phoenix Wright.

Phoenix: Uuugh...

Speakers: ...I see. It's another one of these odd ones. So this was your intention from the very beginning.

... *whistles*


Quote:
Chapter 1: Freedom for Errone


Maya: Uh... for WHAT?

Edgeworth: I presume the author may have meant to write the word "everyone", but given the lack of context, I may be mistaken.

Phoenix: Actually, I think I'm more disturbed by how quickly you could discern that.

Edgeworth: I hate to admit it, but... these things gradually dawn on you over time.

Franziska: By "Chapter 1", I really hope there won't be an extended stay this session...

Speakers: Who knows...

Franziska: You do, you fool!

Quote:
Damon Gant was really sad becuz he was throwed in jail for commiting his crimes and now he cant rape anyone. A single tear rolled down his face.


Franziska: ...

Phoenix: ...Well, we're off to a great start.

Edgeworth: ...Urgh. Just when I had forgotten all about that fic from before...

Speakers: If you don't mind me asking, I find something curious. Why would a member of the original management be willing to appear here before us "condemned criminals"?

That is entirely none of your business, Mr. Gant.

...Very well, then.


Quote:
He tried to eat the food but it was too gross for him and he said "this food sucks"

The guard said "yah well too bad thats your punishmant for be in jail" Damon said "that's stupid" and decided to think of a plan to get out


Phoenix: Yeah, that's pretty stupid, alright.

Maya: I dunno. Being forced to eat gross food for the rest of your life sentence must really be harsh punishment.

Phoenix: Of course YOU would say that...

Maya: What? It's a legitimate point!

Franziska: ...Does this author EVER use punctuation!?

Quote:
Damons eyes stared at guard with naughtyness and he said "Heeeeey guard why don't you come inside and...play with me for a minute"


Phoenix: Oh, God.

Edgeworth: ...

Quote:
"Im not gay" said the guard

Damon kept staring


Edgeworth: Ugh! J-just why does the actor playing Gant have to stare right into the camera!?

Speakers: Honestly, I have no problems whatsoever with the film direction.

Phoenix: Of course you wouldn't...

Maya: I'm getting the feeling the guard's going to get tricked...

Quote:
"OKOK" said the guard and he unlock door and came in and snuggled w/Damon but he PUNCHED HIM AND TOOK HIS KEYS.


Maya: No, duh. What was he even expecting?

Franziska: A snugglefest, apparently.

Quote:
"Gah hes escapeing said the guard and raised the alarm.

"I have to get OUT OF HEAR" screamed Damon when all of a sudden he saw OFFICER MEEEEKINS


Phoenix: Oh, God!

Edgeworth: Why are you more shocked to see him than you were to see fic-Gant!?

Phoenix: This guy always just pops in from nowhere when you least expect it...

Franziska: Forget that! This fic deserves a whip or two for that misspelling of "here"!

Maya: Huh? Why are you reacting to this stuff NOW?

Franziska: If it wasn't obvious enough, I was holding back! But that "hear" simply makes me cringe every time I see it...

Phoenix: ...I'd think it's the least of your problems, though...

Franziska: *raises whip*

Phoenix: ...

Quote:
"Halt" said Mekins "WE HABE YOU SURROUNDED"

"Hey Meekins theres 50 bucks in the basemant"


Maya: "Habe"? Is that like some sort of accented version of "have"?

Edgeworth: Perhaps he's bit his tongue, as usual.

Maya: Wow, the author thought that far!?

Phoenix: No, I really doubt that.

Franziska: Oh, don't tell me... He's going to be fooled that weak excuse like the foolish fool he is.

Quote:
"OK" and Mekkins went to get the bucks. Damon said "Awesome now im free" and he saw out of the corener of his eye Matt En Garde whos also free.


Franziska: Hmph.

Speakers: What, I'm in here too? Hey, manager dude. This fic is totally safe for viewing, right? I'm not, like, gonna end up dead or anything... right?

Well, no, not exactly...

...You're totally suspicious, man.


Quote:
"Hey Matt how you doing" said Damon "Good" said Matt, Damon said "There's somethig I need to tell you" and he blushed pinkishly and his heart was beeting fast


Speakers: ...

...Dude, that is so not cool.

...Ah-hahaha! Oh, so it was this sort of fic. Now, isn't that lovely?

Are you sick or something? How can you just laugh it off!?

Come now. If I let something as ridiculous as this get to me, there's no point in loitering around here. And while you're still here, I suggest you follow my example.

...Tch. Fine. But this still isn't cool.


Quote:
"Wat you say!" said Engrade

"Never mind" said Damon "We have to get outta here" and they left.


Maya: Whoa! Guess all your Enguarde are belong to Damon now, am I right?

All: ...

Maya: W-what? Didn't we all expect some kind of Zero Wing joke?

Speakers: It wasn't funny anyway.

Maya: Hmph! You're one to talk!

Quote:
Later on Edgworth was sitting in his office staring at a photo of Wedny Oldbag.


Speakers: Wouldn't it be amusing to see where this leads...?

Edgeworth: Don't you dare, Gant!

Speakers: ...Man, that's taking it a whole 'nother level of twisted.

Edgeworth: And you don't have the right to talk about being "twisted"!

Phoenix: (Uh-oh, I'm getting that breakdown vibe again...)

Quote:
"How long" he think to himslef "HOW LONG MUST I HIDE MY FEEEELINGS?"


Edgeworth: NGOOOOOH!

Speakers: Ho ho! I called it!

Man, that's gotta hurt!


Franziska: ...Interesting choice of pairing.

Phoenix: Well, I'll be. I'm NOT Edgeworth's love interest in this one? Whew.

Maya: It's kinda disappointing, actually.

Phoenix: Maya, please. There are waaaay too many Wrightworth fics out there.

Edgeworth: ... (Ugh... Unbelievable, half of my truth bar, gone in an instant...)

Quote:
He dreamed about Wendy err day. He dreamed about her wet lips against his skin. But he cuoldnt let anyone know about that cause that would be weird since shes so much older then him thats why he pretend to be emberassed around her


Edgeworth: PLEASE! Just get those images off the screen!

Phoenix, Maya: ...pfft...

Franziska: My, how charming.

Edgeworth: ...I hate all of you right now.

Quote:
JUst then his phone started ringing!

"HEY BRO WAT U WANT" Edjeworth screamed into the phone


Edgeworth: W-what on earth?

Maya: Wow! Edgeworth's a gangster in this one!

Phoenix: Or a wannabe, at least.

Edgeworth: Wright, I swear... if you make one more demeaning comment about my tastes, I will take that tie and strangle you with it!

Phoenix: Whoa! Okay, sorry! (What's gotten into him...?)

Franziska: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Didn't I ever tell you, Miles, to control your temper?

Edgeworth: Mmh... My apologies. That was uncalled for.

Maya: Wow, as I thought, the fury of Edgeworth sure is intense!

Quote:
"Yo man this is Gumshoe and im here to say A BUNCH OF DUDES ESCAPED FROm JAIL AND DAMON GANT"S ONE OF THEM" said the phone

"OBJECTION?/" said Edgeworth and he slam the phone in raging angry


Franziska: ..."fits". That should end with "fits".

Maya: More than one?

Franziska: Well, there's no accompanying singular article, so that alone would solve that particular issue.

Maya: Yeah, but the other half is a different story. It doesn't look like fic-worth is sure what he's saying anymore.

Phoenix: I wouldn't doubt it. He was going on about Oldbag, after all.

Edgeworth: ...

Quote:
"Alright we gotta do something" and he grabbed his coat and said "Im gonna go to the prosecutors convention and team up with a bunch of guys TO STOP THE EEEEEVIL"


Maya: "The prosecutor's convention"...?

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: Wow, it's like they're all a bunch of superheroes or something.

Franziska: Don't be so foolish, Phoenix Wright. The only kinds of "superheroes" at conventions are those sad excuses who think it fanciful to pretend to be more than they truly are.

Phoenix: ...Wow, that's harsh, even from you.

Franziska: Hmph. A von Karma is perfect, and thus needs no guise of greatness. To be honest, I somewhat pity those naive fools.

Phoenix: (Well, I doubt they'd need your pity or your arrogance...)

Quote:
(A/N: I'll write more of this later on)


Edgeworth: And I suppose this means the end of this chapter?

Speakers: Well, well. You're quite the sharp one, aren't you, Worthy?

Edgeworth: ...

Speakers: Incidentally, this session features a double presentation.

All: What!?

Speakers: So, without further ado, let us proceed to the next chapter!




Spoiler:
Quote:
CHAPTER 2: INSIDE THE HAERT


Franziska: Hmph. The spelling is as atrocious as ever, I see. This author truly means to commit every typographical sin in existence!

Phoenix: Funny, I would have expected-

Franziska: *raises whip* You were saying?

Phoenix: ...that you're as sharp as ever! Hahahaha... Yeow!

Quote:
Edgeworht was driving his motorcylce to get to the prosecutor place to capture Damon Gant and the other criminals he was speeding and running a bunch of red lights I know your not supposed to do that but his mission was rly important.


Maya: Whoa! Where did fic-worth get a motorcycle!? That's awesome!

Edgeworth: I've never been much of a motorcyclist myself, so I wouldn't know.

Phoenix: Yeah, I wouldn't either...

Franziska: Because you lack any driver's license to speak of.

Phoenix: (Yeah, sure, pick on the defenseless defense attorney, why don't you...)

Maya: Get your motor runnin'... Head out on the highway! Doo do-doo doo...

Quote:
Then he heared his car crash in2 another and suddenly he went flying out the winshield and bonked his head on the pavment

"OUCH" he said "WHO IS RESPONSIVBLE FOR THIS "


Edgeworth: ...

Maya: Now that's what I call "hitting the road"!

Phoenix: Literally.

Franziska: And with barely a scratch. I always knew your head was rather thick, Miles.

Edgeworth: ...I wouldn't say "barely a scratch", seeing how my speech was impeded.

Quote:
"i am" said a lady voice and Edgeworth's heart surged with raging hormones cuz he recongized the voice IT WAS OLDBAG


Maya: Whoa! With "raging hormones" too!

Phoenix: He sure gets flustered around Oldbag every time.

Edgeworth: You KNOW that's only because she's so difficult to handle!

Speakers: Ho ho hooo! Now that's rich!

Ha! Man, you really know how to dig your own grave.


Edgeworth: W-what!? No! I didn't mean it like that at all!

Franziska: *sigh* You really ought to watch what you say sometimes.

Edgeworth: Urk...

Quote:
"AHH OLDBOG" said Edgewoth pretending to be embarased so he lied "I definetly dont want to see you right now"

"EDGEYPOO" said the oldbag "I heard that the criminal guys have escaped so WE SHOULD DO A TEEMUP TO CATCH THEM"


Maya: Woohoo! Oldbag power!

Phoenix: That old lady can really pack a punch, that's for sure.

Franziska: She certainly has the livelihood for battle.

Edgeworth: ...Please, stop already.

Phoenix: Oh, wow, we actually pushed him to the edge...

Maya: You were waiting to say that, weren't you?

Phoenix: Huh? Actually, no... but I'm glad I did.

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: Eh heh... (I wonder how long he'll last before his next breakdown?)

Quote:
"no" said Edgeworth but he actually wanted to so he wispered "how do I confess my lov without ppl thinking im a weirdo" cuz a bunch of dudes on the street were watching him but he thought of a good idea

his idea was he wrote a message in a paper airplan that say "Mett me in my car ill talk to u while we driving I love u" and he thru the airplain at Oldbag (A/N: Hey guys ism't that a great idea im planing on doing somethihng similar to THIS GIRL I REALY LIKE SO DONT TELL ANYONE)


Maya: Heh, this is like grade school crushes all over again.

Franziska: Bah, even grade school children have a better sense of spelling and grammar.

Phoenix: So, uh, no one paying attention to the fact that there's a random note from the author right there?

Edgeworth: Just ignore it. It does everyone good.

Quote:
Oldbig read the note and the two got in the car and the guys just asumed that she was under arrest or something cuz hes a proscuter so he can do stuff like that


Edgeworth: It seems I've even been demoted to a patrol officer...

Maya: But you're not dressed for the part.

Phoenix: Who cares? These onlookers just witnessed a man flying out from his car without a scratch and are taking pictures.

Franziska: It's something worth commemorating, at least.

Edgeworth: Incidentally... is that my car or her car we're supposedly boarding?

Maya: Can't tell. They're kinda smooshed together.

Phoenix: (This is a good reason why I don't drive...)

Quote:
"What is this airplaen" she said pointing at the areplane "Are you making fun of meee

"Nope I just want to say YOU ARE SO BEAUTYFUL I LOVE"

"You love" said Oldbag with sweetening happyness "Me too but why didnt you say so earlyer"

"I pretented to be embarass bcuz Gumshoe and Phoenickx are really hot so I didnt want them thinking im perverted or something like that" the dripping tears flowed from his eyes


Phoenix: Damn it! Why couldn't my name stay out of this!?

Maya: Hmm... "Phoenickx" actually doesn't sound too bad for a nickname.

Phoenix: No, it's the worst one imaginable and you aren't going to call me that.

Maya: Oh, come on, Phoenickx! It's not that bad!

Phoenix: ...

Franziska: ...Actually, this image of fic-worth is beginning to remind me of a certain weepy-eyed floundering fool, and it's not exactly pleasant. *yanks whip*

Edgeworth: Oh, good. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought that.

Quote:
"OH THATS ALRIGHT" she said "LETS GET MARRIED"

"yeah that sounds cool"


Maya: "And they lived happily ever after."

Phoenix: If that's the next line after this, then it would be a relief.

Edgeworth: You just enjoy mocking me to the very end, don't you?

Phoenix: No, I mean it'd be the end of this chapter.

Edgeworth: ...That is a good point.

Phoenix: ...but I wouldn't mind seeing the two of you end it like that.

Edgeworth: Grr...

Quote:
Later on Gant was hanging out with Engarde in his bedroom and they were doing something i cant say wat it was but you can problly figure it out heres a hint it starts with S and ryhmes with Fedex


Phoenix: It's not over!?

Edgeworth: No, it's only getting worse...

Franziska: Of course it would. Why would you expect otherwise?

Maya: Yes! I totally called it!

Speakers: N-no! Nononono... This is not what I wanted to see!

...On the other hand, any number of things that starts with S can rhyme with "FedEx". Perhaps it's got something to do with "specs"?

Specs!? For what!? I'm not visually impaired!

Settle down. It's just a suggestion... Or do you have something else in mind?

...Er, let's just go with that.


Quote:
"Woot that was fun" said Gant "wat u wanna do now"

"uh I dunno maybe HOLD ON A MINUTE" Engarde looked at his phone "MY TOP SECRET GADGETS SAY THAT EDGEY IS AT THE PROSECITOR CONVETION AND HES COMING TO get us"


Phoenix: Top...

Edgeworth: Secret...

Franziska: Gadgets!? What foolish folly of a foolish fool is this!?

Maya: Why are the last two words not shouted?

Phoenix: Maya, are you purposely trying to avoid the most ridiculous point?

Maya: That isn't the most ridiculous? I just figured he'd have some sort of gadget thingy on him.

Phoenix: What? Why??

Maya: To avoid the "prosecitor convetion", of course!

All: ...

Maya: ...I guess that one fell short. Drat.

Quote:
"oh no thats bad" said Gnat "wheat should we do?"

"We should get marreid"


All: !?

Edgeworth: Ugh! (That's another blow to my truth bar...)

Speakers: S-stop it, man! This is way too weird, okay!?

..."Gnat", is it? Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long to come to that.


Phoenix: THAT'S what you choose to pick out!?

Quote:
"HOW DOSE THAT SOLVE THE PROBLEM?"


Phoenix: Yes, exactly!

Franziska: Minus the error with "does", but yes, I'm in agreement!

Phoenix: (...Even now, Franziska?)

Quote:
"Well if we get marred then ppl will just think we're a normal couple instead of criminals" (A/N: I really want Gant to get together with Engerard now so pretend it makes sense)

"OK sonds good" said Damon "Now we WILL ECSAPE THE ROOL OF LAW IN THE NEXT EPISODE"


All: ...

Edgeworth: *bar explodes* (S-somehow... I'm still hanging on... just barely.)

Maya: Um... Hey, even these guys know how to break the fourth wall!

Phoenix: I-it's fine, Maya. You don't need to force it.

Maya: You sure? Mr. Edgeworth looks like he's about to faint.

Phoenix: ...He'll recover. This isn't the worst he's taken.

Maya: Um, how about Ms. von Karma?

Franziska: ...Even if it really is supposed to be "marred", it still doesn't make any sense whatsoever! Th-this... is outright embarrassing!

Phoenix: Oh, she's fine. Oww!

*crackity-crack*

Phoenix: Owowowow! I'm sorryyy!

Franziska: If I have to deal with this agony from such absurdities, then so will you!

Phoenix: W-w-wait! Waiwaiwait! Oww! Aaaugh...


[And the lights flick on.]

Franziska: Finally! Good riddance.

Speakers: Ah, wasn't that refreshing, folks?

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: *whimper*

Maya: ...Well, it was pretty messy and all, but it wasn't that ba-

Franziska: It was vile. End of story.

Speakers: Oh, I wouldn't say it was all so terrible. There were quite some amusing moments in there too.

Ugh, whatever, dude. I'm done. Just get me back to my cell already...

Rest assured, you all will be reappearing for the following follow-up sessions!


[As soon as that was said, everyone hurries out as quickly as possible... all except for Gant and the manager.]

Speakers: Aw, aren't you all simply anxious for next time? ...Oh, Gant, you're still here?

Before I go, I have one more thing to ask. Just what exactly would our roles be to remain behind the speakers if we're not exactly part of the Management any longer? After all, it's still you and your fellow managers who have been in control all this time...

That, Mr. Gant, will be a matter to be discussed another time. You are dismissed.

...Well, alright, then! Thanks for summoning me from my cell! These visits have become more and more amusing, haven't they?

Indeed, they have. Hahahahaha...


[And once those two take their leave, the theater once again falls into silence. And once again, this narrator has been left all alone... but there's always next time! Stay tuned for more strange shenanigans in our wonderful Sporking Theater!]
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Puns even worse then Moe!

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@Rubia ah! That was amazing. My only problem was the Gant/Engarde colors were really similar, but since they speak so differently I could usually tell by that.

Speaking of that, bringing in those two was a great idea. The reactions were great.
Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha!

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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Winter Flag Trademark

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Location: Igiyooki Manor, P/A.

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Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2015 6:01 am

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That was my favorite fic, but seeing you sporking it... I would rather say that I liked the sporked one by double. :mike-salute:

[quote="Mike Meekins"]THANK YOU FOR KEEPING THE SPORKHOUSE IN SESSION, SIR!! WAITING FOR YOU TO SPORK ANOTHER ONE!!! :megaphone: [quote]

...Yeah, that's what would Meekins say if he sees it. :nick: i started to get abit fancy of the Sporkhouse, so thanks for keeping thr sporkhouse alive. :edgey:
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This account is dead. Link to my DeviantART.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Puns even worse then Moe!

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I hope this is okay to do, but I'd like to claim the fic Pheenox's revenge for sporking purposes. It's just to good to pass up! Er... to bad to pass up?
Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha!

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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6061

Have fun! Since I can't update Airey's post for her, let's just make a mental note for now.

When I find a little more time, I'll get to the next part of mine. In the meantime, you're free to post your own. You are allowed to use the same cast as well, but for diversity's sake, I suggest a slightly different group.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Puns even worse then Moe!

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Does anybody want lazy fanart of a really old sporking?

... No?

Too bad! http://imgur.com/so34Ndl

It was Aireys old Law plus Chaos sporking, back when frenzy was wearing the sexy court outfit. can you tell I have no sense of fashion


Also, a few questions

1) How does the sporking theater layout work? I feel like there was old fanart of it (or a link to it anyway), but the link didn't work last time I checked.

2) Bringing in characters from different time periods is allowed, as long as they existed during that time period, correct?
Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha!

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Yatta.

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...Sexy. Larry would be proud.

Unfortunately, that link broke long before the backup forums were removed, so I never quite got a chance to see the picture myself. The layout is basically however we want to imagine it. I think there is room somewhere for an entire courtroom, and one of the screening rooms is actually hiding a stage behind the screen. But, I'm sure every room has some form of lockdown system that keeps its audience it their seats... and may even electrocute them if necessary.

Oh, and I was the one who set up the teleporter in the lobby... and fired all the guards. Wheee.

Yes, you may call anyone from any time period, no matter how short that time period is. Makes it useful for channeled spirits, I say.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Cause of death is being dummy

Gender: Female

Location: Metropolitan Atlanta

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 12:23 pm

Posts: 812

Haha! Back from France! Great sporkings, luck and Rubia! Great fanart, PoppyCorn! :will: Since no one seems to have claimed that comic while I was gone, I'll probably get that done in the next few days.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Yatta.

Gender: Female

Location: LA, Japanifornia

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am

Posts: 6061

Welcome back! Looking forward to it. My work here is done... for now.
Help! My parents are Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth! Er, I mean they're irresponsible drunks!

Click here for the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney Translation Project Blog!
Various official AA stuff translations currently in the works.

Also, click here for the current archive of fanfiction or here for the backup archive. Click here for the blog that updates it.
Includes translations of misc. fan works related or not to AA.
Also, a very popular fanfic ask meme.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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My avatar is hotter than yours

Gender: Female

Location: Scardonia

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2011 6:06 pm

Posts: 29

I would really love to see a sporking of this masterpiece: http://freetexthost.com/vlcy52xckl

Next to Phoenix's Turnabout, the last two chapters of which are tragically lost forever, that's my favorite trollfic of all time.
Image
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Gender: Male

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 12:08 pm

Posts: 263

^
This. This fic just looks like a perfect spork material. And I'm sure that it'd at least get 5 Sahwits.
I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet. — Stanisław Lem
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Gender: Male

Location: Dominican Republic

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Sun Jun 02, 2013 6:06 pm

Posts: 630

Quote:
The story begins on a boat(cuz myle is scared of elevators ;]


I gave up.I ain't reading this until it gets a sporking.
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