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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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@ob2410 It's M-rated smut. It needs a Management with experience.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
@ob2410 It's M-rated smut. It needs a Management with experience.

I think I'm doing better now though. :edgey:
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Not that kind of experience
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Elohim Essaim Elohim Essaim

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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
Not that kind of experience


That kind of experience is overrated. At least let the kid try. Besides, why exactly would that kind of thing be necessary to spork an M fic? To avoid childish quips? I enjoy the enthusiasm. Let the kid write, I say.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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As long as he remembers to cut summary where appropriate.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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@TheMoonlitAttorney Okay. I just didn't want to get him (or us) in trouble. I'm not sure his parents and/or the mods would appreciate him working a smut fic. Also, are you working on anything?
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
@TheMoonlitAttorney Okay. I just didn't want to get him (or us) in trouble. I'm not sure his parents and/or the mods would appreciate him working a smut fic. Also, are you working on anything?

I'll be fine, but thanks for worrying.
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
Not that kind of experience


I'm probably just being an idiot because it's early in the morning, but I'm not 100% sure what you mean by that kind of experience.

If it was the JustiCykesQuill one, then I suppose we'll have a reason to be concerned with OB (I can call you that, right) sporking it. But the Phoenix/Athena one only has one scene of that kind (so far) and it's really short. Since we're supposed to collab on it, I don't see how that it's that big of a deal, as long as he doesn't get in trouble and he doesn't mind. I could always take that part anyway, the rest of the fic isn't much to be super concerned with
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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I was talking about the JusticeCykesQuill one. I was worried that the mods and/or his parents would not take too kindly to an elementary student sporking an M-rated smut fic. (I was also concerned that his knowledge of sex would mostly come from bad smut fics and therefore be inaccurate as a result.)
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What do you mean bad? All the fics sporked here are go-
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We all lost our innocence the moment we discover the Kink Meme anyway. That fic can't be worse than the torture/necrophilia one that Airey sporked.

On a side note, I've searched Phoenix/Athena in AO3 and I've found three fics. Which one are you doing, Skittlemask? The one where Phoenix tries hard to forget Athena's age so he can date her remorselessly, the Strip-Club AU, or the one where Trucy and Athena rape Apollo and Phoenix (Yeah, someone wrote that.)?
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luck wrote:
We all lost our innocence the moment we discover the Kink Meme anyway. That fic can't be worse than the torture/necrophilia one that Airey sporked.

On a side note, I've searched Phoenix/Athena in AO3 and I've found three fics. Which one are you doing, Skittlemask? The one where Phoenix tries hard to forget Athena's age so he can date her remorselessly, the Strip-Club AU, or the one where Trucy and Athena rape Apollo and Phoenix (Yeah, someone wrote that.)?

I was trying to forget the necrophilia one... :nick-sweat:
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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@luck

The second author's note in the rape one. Oh my. So many contradictions...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
@TheMoonlitAttorney Okay. I just didn't want to get him (or us) in trouble. I'm not sure his parents and/or the mods would appreciate him working a smut fic. Also, are you working on anything?


Er, well... I am working on a punishment spork for Phoenix... but school and playing Dual Destinies for the first time is really slowing down the progress.
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luck wrote:
the one where Trucy and Athena rape Apollo and Phoenix (Yeah, someone wrote that.)?

Are you referring to The final resistance? Because my brother sporked that one on a different website. (If that matters to anyone. Personally, I try not to spork things that I know have already been sporked, which is extra silly because someone I sort of know sporked What's There to Hide two months before I did on that same comm.)
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I still think it's worth sporking here with the characters, including the author notes because they're just precious. Specially the author declaring that they're not insane. You know you're in for a wild ride when the author feels the need to defend their sanity.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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My thoughts exactly, luck.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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luck wrote:
Trucy and Athena rape Apollo and Phoenix?


I know better than to be surprised, but I really am grossed out that someone would write something like that. Anyway, I was planning on doing the strip club AU, but now that I quickly skimmed through the other one, I really want to do that one... Damn, that scene was horribly written, and the author's note was hilarious. I don't know if I should stick with the strip club one or not. I haven't started the sporking yet, so I might change my mind. Not sure yet. Regardless, it definitely deserves a sporking here.
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https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11453433/1/CykesFiction
Today's fic is CykesFiction, where Athena Cykes writes fan fiction but needs to find a pairing, etc. etc. I rate it :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: :sahwit: It's pretty OOC and full of grammar mistakes...And then there's Larry.

[Welcome back to the Sporking Theater, where your nightmares come to play. Ah, good, we're back to how I like it.]
Our Sporkers today are....
:nick: Phoenix Wright
Man, I'm worried about Athena, she's due for her punishment sporking...
:edgeworth: Miles Edgeworth
It can't be any worse than any of the ones which have happened before...
:apollo-objection: Apollo Justice
I'm not going to transform, am I?
:larry2: and Larry Butz
Yay, I appear in this one!

Edgeworth: Why exactly are you so worried, anyway?

Phoenix: Well, the last time someone played with her mind, she just sorta...crashed.

Edgeworth: Oh, would you prefer it if you were being punished instead?

Phoenix: It's already a punishment being here every week...

Management: Yo, dawgs, could you please sit on dem seats now? The fic's about to start.

Apollo: W-What happened to the management?

Phoenix: *shrugs* but they're a bit more fun than the previous management. If only they'd shut down the whole theater, then we would really like them.

Edgeworth: And Larry, how is it you know when you appear?

Larry: They tell me this stuff.

Edgeworth: W-Why does he get special treatment?

Speakers: Sorry dude, but that ain't none of your business.
[the lights dim]

Spoiler:
Quote:
This one is rather unique to my other stories. Heheh... I will make OneShots like this more often.


Larry: Where I'm the main character? Go ahead!

Apollo: P-Please take that back, Mr. Butz.

Larry: But Apollo, there should always be media where I am the main character!

Phoenix: (You're not the main character in this one...) Why are you always so happy to be here? Appearing is a curse, not a blessing.

Larry: Because I'm more normal than you guys. *smiles*

Quote:
-August 17, 4:00 PM-

-Wright and Co. Anything Agency-


Phoenix: Did they just fuse all the names the agency has been through? It's the Wright Anything Agency.

Apollo: It seems like it.

Edgeworth: Well, this is just a wonderful start.

Quote:
It was a stormy day. Lightning was striking the same place too many times, as giant pillows keep exploding. Phoenix was sitting in his office, drinking coffee as Maya was sitting on the couch. Phoenix was-


Phoenix: Lightning struck the same place too many times and giant pillows kept exploding...?

Larry: Huh, is that some kind of metaphor?

Edgeworth: Larry, it's amazing that you still don't notice why you're always dumped.

Larry: W-WHAT?! How dare you! H-Have you even had a girlfriend? Oh yeah, you and Nick think you're better than me because you're always with cute girls, huh? W-Well....I have a new girlfriend already and her name is Jess.

Phoenix: Why'd you drag me into this?

Larry: Because I bet that's what you think too.

Everyone but Larry: *Speechless*

Quote:
"No, no... Bad idea," said Athena.


Phoenix: Wait, so we jump from a normal day at the office to Athena saying this is....a bad idea?

Edgeworth: This is a fic about Athena, remember?

Speakers: Yo, Edgeyworth-dawg, where'd you find that out?

Apollo: The title, we all figured out atleast this much.

Edgeworth: And it's Edgeworth, not Edgeyworth.

Speakers: We can call you what we want, Ruffley Prosecutor.

Edgeworth: *glare*

Quote:
Athena presses the backspace button for a bit. "Hm..." said Athena.

Oh, it appears our friend Athena is typing fanfiction!


Apollo: Our friend...?

Phoenix: Great, now we have a narrator. This keeps getting better and better.

Edgeworth: Well, at least the exploding pillows are gone.

Quote:
"Ugh... This is just too hard..." said Athena. "... Wait, I think I got a hilarious idea."


Phoenix: So we go from a pairing to a "hilarious idea"? I think they got the essence of fan fiction writers down very well.

Edgeworth: I have to agree with you, Wright. But I doubt they did this on purpose.

Phoenix: *sigh* Of course.

Quote:
She opens Widget, but turned to the Documents Icon instead. She then closes it.

"Now, time to force a random pair of people together!" exclaimed Athena.


Apollo: Great idea. "Hey, random civilian #1, I want you to fall in love with random civilian #2!"

Phoenix: "Okay person I've never met, wish me luck!"

Edgeworth: This will actually happen in the fic, won't it?

Phoenix: Probably.

Quote:
Athena then walks out to find a random pair of people.


Apollo: Welcome to "How to Write Fan Fiction 101"

Edgeworth: This is pretty accurate, from what I can tell.

Quote:
...


Phoenix: "..." indeed.

Quote:
-August 17, 4:03 PM-

-Gourd Lake Public Beach-


Edgeworth: G-Gourd Lake...? Why here of all places?

Larry: To find the great Larry Butz of course!

Edgeworth: I think most people would try and get AWAY from you. *shakes head*

Larry: Since when do you know anything about other people? *sticks out tongue*

Edgeworth: Ngh...

Quote:
Athena was hiding in a bush, with keeping Widget less bright, but not too dark she couldn't see the screen. A keyboard appeared on screen. "Ok, now time to wait," said Athena.


Speakers: *Muffled speech* Never do something like *speakers turn off*

Apollo and Phoenix: A-Athena?! *look up at speakers*

Speakers: *cough* Errr...Hey dudes, we got some errr....minor....difficulties at the moment, we'll have to pause the fic for a little bit....

[The lights turn back on]

Apollo: T-This is too far...even for them...

Edgeworth: Ngh...and there's...nothing we can do.

Speakers: No don't you dare- if you- Ha! What'll you do? Hit us? I'm sorry, but that won't work.

*The speakers went quiet and weren't heard for another hour*

Larry: We need to rescue her! I can't leave a damsel in distress all by herself!

Apollo: That's really err...nice of you, but I doubt that'd do anything but put you next in line for a punishment sporking...

Larry: If it means getting another smoking hot girlfriend, then it's completely worth it!

Phoenix: S-She's 18...

Edgeworth: That's not a valid argument, Wright, however I do agree that it would just end up getting worse if you attempted this, Larry.

[It took a whole hour to dissuade Larry, and by the time they had the speakers came back online.]

Speakers: Hey dudes, everything has been...fixed. Haha, you may re-enter the Sporking Theater.

Phoenix: Stop with the act, I think I know who you really are.

Speakers: Well, it's about time, I got a bit bored making stuff up. Thank you, Wright.

Apollo: Wait...him? Why him?!

Speakers: Because I'm so cute, how could they not want me?

Edgeworth: He's insane... drop this line of questioning, we should return to the sporking....so nothing happens to us or Athena.

Speakers: Aww, Worthy, why must you ruin my fun?

Larry: Okay...who is this guy?

Phoenix: A horrible person, that's all you need to know.

Speakers: Aw...now you've hurt my feelings!

Apollo: I didn't know you had feelings.

[the lights dim]

Speakers: Now, if you want your item to stay safe, I suggest you continue.And she seems to really enjoy the room we put her in. It's like a more cramped, even more fun for us Sporking Theater. How cute.

Quote:
She realized she made an awful mistake, as only Larry was there.


Larry: Heh, why would a girl be so sad about this? It is me, the Great Butz-ini after all!

Edgeworth: I can think of millions of reasons.

Larry: Y-Yeah...but your opinion's usually silly! Eheh...

Apollo: This coming from you?

Larry: Y-You don't even know me!

Apollo: (I think I've learnt enough in this session...)

Quote:
"... Huh?" asked Larry.

He turned to the bush to see a long ponytail stick out of the bush, with a blue bow attached.


Phoenix: And the Best Hiding Spot of All Time award goes to.......Fic-Athena!

Speakers: Hey, it's better than something you could come up with.

Phoenix: Is that Athena or not?

Speakers: Hmmm...is it?

Quote:
"...!" exclaimed Athena. She jumped out. "Ok, time to go to another place to type fanfiction!"


Apollo: Yes, just exclaim your plans in front of one of the people you were planning to write about...genius!

Speakers: Like you mouth-breathers know anything about genius.

Larry: Nick, Edgey, why does his voice keep changing?

Speakers: Hey, no spoilers, dawg...*laughs*

Phoenix: *grits teeth* I'll tell you later, Larry.

Quote:
"... Fanfiction?!" exclaimed Larry. He followed her.


Apollo: Yes, what the heck is "Fan Fiction"?

Speakers: And why does it sound so wonderful?

Edgeworth: *wags finger* Anything would sound wonderful in that warped mind of yours.

Speakers: Oh, Edgey-Poo, how could you say something like that to me?

Edgeworth: (I would actually prefer that old woman right now...)

Quote:
-August 17, 4:20 PM-

-Tres Bien-


Larry: I've never heard of this place...Hey Edgey, you're always going to fancy restaurants can you tell me anything about it?

Speakers: Ooh, za it is my restaurant! It's ze wonderful, za?

Phoenix: That's a horrible impression of Mr. Armstrong.

Speakers: Well even one as perfect as I makes mistakes sometimes...however rare they may be.

Edgeworth: Mr. von Karma would never admit to making a mistake, so add another failure to your list. *smirk*

Speakers: EDGEWOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTH!

Quote:
"Why are we here again?" asked Athena.


Apollo: It seems we're all thinking the same thing...

Speakers: Speak for yourself, pal! I personally love Tres Bien!

Edgeworth: Your impressions seem to be getting worse and worse. *points*

Speakers: Well you all already know who I am, why would I be doing my all?

Edgeworth: *crosses arms* Touche.

Larry: I don't know who he is...

Quote:
"Because, French-ish Restaurants have many couples," said Larry. "That's a good idea to get your Fanfiction started."


Phoenix: :holdit: Since when does Larry know so much about fan-fics?

Larry: The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma, you should know this, Nick.

Edgeworth: *smirks* He has a point.

Quote:
"But... No one's here..." said Athena.

"... Alright, but let's order some cheese puffs before we go," said Larry.


Larry: This does sound like something I'd do...

Edgeworth: Hmph, I agree with you there.

Phoenix: No objections here.

Apollo: None here, either.

Larry: What the hey, guys? You're supposed to say, "No, Larry is much smarter than that".

Edgeworth: So you want us to lie? *shrugs*

Quote:
"(Cheese puffs? Now I understand the Ish part,)" thought Athena.

...


Phoenix: Wait a minute....are those ellipses the line breaks? That's stupid!

Speakers: Come on, Nick, line breaks don't have to be lines, stop being so narrow minded!

Apollo: M-My head...

Phoenix: Let's just try and get this over with as quickly as possible...

Quote:
-August 17, 5:00 PM-

-Prosecutor's Offices-


Edgeworth: Prosecutor is Offices?

Phoenix: I've got it...Edgeworth, in reality you are Office-r Edgeworth!

*crickets*

Speakers: Ah, Wrighto, you think after last time we wouldn't fix the speakers and cameras? Please put more faith in us.

Quote:
"Larry, why?!" asked Athena with an angry expression.


Edgeworth: My thoughts exactly, but I must know why is Ms. Cykes on a first-name basis with Larry all of a sudden?

Phoenix: It's not even really worth commenting on first-name basis problems anymore.

Edgeworth: I do it in hopes of them fixing it.

Quote:
"Because, you dating Blackquil will give you ideas for your fiction," said Larry.

"... Larry, Cykesquil was meant to be a touching heartwarming story, and then the fan base went overboard to make someone who used to... Ugh, I can't explain this. Ok, so he's 28, and fans are shipping him with an 18 year old girl," said Athena, who turned to see Larry peeping into an office.


Phoenix: And then the fourth wall died.

Apollo: Rest in Peace.

Edgeworth: Why is Cykesquill supposedly a heartwarming story here? If the two names are fused together, it is clearly a shipping.

Phoenix: This is hardly like you at all, Edgeworth. That doesn't always mean a shipping.

Edgeworth: Yes, but this is fan fiction, and she is apparently looking for a shipping.

Quote:
"Athena, hide somewhere near this door," said Larry.

Athena hides behind a potted plant. A large one.


Apollo: Athena really likes hiding behind plants in this fic. First a bush, now a potted plant.

Speakers: What the heck, Apollo? I only hid behind them two times!

Quote:
Larry hides with her, and presses a camera icon, and puts it next to the document.


Edgeworth: What document? This makes less sense by the minute.

Phoenix: The door-cument!

Apollo: Mr. Wright...please stop.

Larry: Hey, since when do I use cameras? I'm not a stupid journalist!

Quote:
"What?" asked Athena.

Larry presses a button to use a camera inside that office.


Edgeworth: "To use a camera inside the office?"

Phoenix: Larry has super powers now, apparently.

Larry: I always have.

Speakers: Hmph, reduced brain capacity, perhaps.

Larry: What the heck, Edgey?

Edgeworth: *crosses arms* That wasn't me, Larry.

Quote:
A teal haired woman was making out with someone in a green coat.


Edgeworth: What?

Phoenix: Is that....and....why? I just...no...of all the pairs...

Larry: Is it that detective and Franzy?

Apollo: Hmm...?

Larry: B-But I'm much better than that stupid detective! Franzy was supposed to be mine!

Phoenix: What happened to your new girlfriend? And Athena?

Larry: They're old news, Nick!

Phoenix: (Darn it, Larry...)

Quote:
"What am I looking at?" asked Athena.


Edgeworth: My thoughts exactly.

Phoenix: I really hope it's not what I think it is.

Quote:
"Gumshoe and Franzy, making out!" exclaimed Larry.


All: ...

Apollo: Wait...is it that detective you're always talking about? And that von Karma?

Phoenix: *head in hands* Yes...it is... (Brain bleach...please)

Edgeworth: *staring blankly* What?

Larry: I never knew those two liked each other.

Edgeworth: Maybe they do. But not in this way.

Speakers: What a foolishly foolish piece of foolish fiction, I can't believe someone could be this foolish!

Edgeworth: That's a bit too many "foolish"es.

Phoenix: Maybe to you, but she uses even more "foolish"es when speaking to me...

Quote:
"... Larry, this is unable to help me at all," said Athena.


Edgeworth: What you set out for was a pairing. You should be happy now.

Apollo: Because then we wouldn't have to suffer through more of this.

Quote:
"... Oh, you don't want my help anymore? SEE YA, B-" started Larry before Athena slapped him until he was unconscious.


Edgeworth: That's quite an amusing image *rolls eyes* ...But it's not like Larry to swear.

Larry: Edgey, are you okay? You like you're about to explode.

Edgeworth: Well, I feel like I'm about to appear and say something incredibly stu-

Quote:
"... Ok, now to look elsewhere-" said Athena.

Edgeworth was in front of her. "O-oh, Edgeworth..."

"Miss Cykes, you realize you were hiding behind a large potted plant in the hallway, right?" asked Edgeworth.


Edgeworth: ...I really didn't want to be right.

Phoenix: Well you were.

Apollo: This is just grand.

Speakers: I agree, sir! And it's just going to get better!

Edgeworth: ...

Quote:
"... GUMSHOE'S MAKING OUT WITH FRANZISKA IN HER OFFICE!" exclaimed Athena.


Phoenix: So what, Fic-Athena? You would be the one in trouble for watching them make out, not them for being in love.

Edgeworth: You're right, Wright.

Phoenix: Yes, I am Wright. *grins*

Edgeworth: *facepalms*

Quote:
"... What?" asked Edgeworth.


Edgeworth: What indeed.

Quote:
"You two are like brother and sister, so I felt you need to know," said Athena.

"And with that, I'm protecting my sister from my cousin," said Edgeworth.


Edgeworth: .............What? What did he just say? Gumshoe is my cousin?

Apollo: M-Mr. Wright...I think he's just about snapped.

Phoenix: Calm down Edgeworth...

Speakers: Oh this is grand, it seems he's finally snapped. Join the dark side, Edgeworth.

Phoenix: Well, Edgeworth's not the kind to get this angry, he's going to calm down...right?

Edgeworth: ...Y-Yes...I'm fine.

Quote:
"Edgeworth, Gumshoe's your cousin?" asked Athena.

"Yes. Why do you think he still has a salary?" asked Edgeworth. He walks into the room, as Athena walks off back to the office.


Edgeworth: No. He's a friend, even if I struggle with admitting it.

Apollo: You just admitted it...

Edgeworth: I suppose I did. *crosses arms*

Quote:
...

-August 17, 5:23 PM-

-Wright and Co. Anything Agency-


Phoenix: Wright Anything Agency...

Edgeworth: You're lucky they only butchered the name of your agency, and not your family.

Quote:
Athena sat back down at her desk. Her fanfiction is flawed... Because nothing was there.

"..." went Athena.


Phoenix: What a well thought out sentence.

Edgeworth: Why can't she just write about Gumshoe and Franziska's relationship which exists in this universe?

Apollo: That would make too much sense.

Quote:
"Hey, Athena," said Apollo.


Apollo: And what will they do to my character now?

Quote:
Apollo just returned from Trucy's Play.


Phoenix: Two things, firstly, Trucy wouldn't do a "play" unless it involved magic. Secondly, why would Apollo go and not me?

Edgeworth: *points* Just be happy you haven't appeared yet.

Phoenix: Good point.

Quote:
"... Oh, hey Apollo," said Athena.

"... What's wrong?" asked Apollo.


Phoenix: "Oh, I just wasted my entire day running around with Larry Butz."

Larry: Wasted? She was with me. How is that a waste?

Speakers: It's almost like you want us to make fun of you.

Larry: You're so mean today, Edgey.

Quote:
"I spent the last hour trying to get a fanfiction idea," said Athena.

"What are you writing about?" asked Apollo.


Phoenix: "Nothing, just have a look at my draft where I wrote nothing! Yay!"

Quote:
"A Romance Novel..." said Athena.

"Let me see your draft," said Apollo.


Phoenix: N-Novel? I'm speechless.

Edgeworth: As am I.

Quote:
Athena hit the undo button for a while.

"... Athena, Fanfiction is stuff you make up. Not stuff that already happened," said Apollo.


Apollo: Mr. Wright, it's not even worth commenting on "that" any more. They clearly forgot they said that.

Phoenix: ...You're right...I hope this finishes soon...

Quote:
"..." went Athena.


Phoenix: Another incredibly well thought out sentence.

Quote:
Apollo kisses her on her forehead. "Well, I'm off to buy groceries for the mini fridge. Just needed to get my wallet."


Apollo: ...What? It just casually says I kissed her on the forehead? *holds head in hands*

Phoenix: Maybe you've been a couple for years in this fic. I mean, apparently Edgeworth is Gumshoe's cousin so it wouldn't be that far fetched.

Edgeworth: Don't remind me, Wright...

Quote:
He picks up his Wallet he left on his desk.

"See ya, Athena," said Apollo.


Edgeworth: They couldn't say he just picked up his wallet?

Apollo: No, they needed to know where I put it. *rolls eyes*

Larry: If I ever need money I'll just take that.

Apollo: ...

Quote:
"Bye..." said Athena.

Apollo closes the door. It took one minute for Athena to realize Apollo just kissed her on her forehead.

"... OH!" exclaimed Athena.


Apollo: This will only end up making it worse, won't it?

Phoenix: I think it's probably nearly over.

Speakers: Is it?

Phoenix: You tell us, is it?

Quote:
She then types random Justicykes Fanfiction.

"... Wait, what the heck?" asked Athena. "This is literally a memoir of my love life."


Edgeworth: Random? So she didn't even know what she was writing?

Phoenix: Well, I guess it might be pretty realistic as to what goes on in the heads of bad fan fiction writers...

Speakers: Come on, Mr. Wright! Why would you say that about me?

Quote:
She secretly posted under Pearl's account.

"Yep, now Pearl will be responsible for this fiction," said Athena.

She relaxes as she logs out quickly. "... Hang on... Wasn't I expecting a story I could post to make my account more popular...?" asked Athena to herself.

Athena sat in silence as a sudden video appeared. A 10 Hour Extended video of Fukkireta.

...


Phoenix: Wait...that's a line break...does that mean there's more?


[the lights come on]

Phoenix: Oh thank goodness...Now...

Apollo: Where's Athena? *points at speakers*

Speakers: I already told you didn't I? She's being...prepared for her punishment sporking in a dark room. I'll be leaving now, the normal management might find out what I've been up to otherwise...

*the speakers turn off*

Phoenix: Athena...I hope you're okay...

Edgeworth: Well, I guess we should be going...I need to get the idea of Franziska and Gumshoe being in love out of my head...

[and so Edgeworth left]

Larry: So, Nick, who was that guy?

Phoenix: I'll tell you if you give me a ride home.

Apollo: I'm coming too!

[and so those three left as well, Phoenix and Apollo explaining who the phantom was]
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Last edited by Oliver on Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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Good sporking, OB(congratulations, you've got a nickname)! You've really been improving. But since I like criticizing (that's what we do here, isn't it?), here's some feedback:
-Why does Edgeworth smirk so much? I don't think there was a reason for it most of the time.
-Apollo was in character but he didn't really make many comments.
-I felt something off with Larry, but I'm not sure what. He's an unexpectedly hard character to write.
-You should make a list with all the characters that the guest star impersonates. There's some of them I can't identify. (Which is funny because I did the same in my first sporking.)

Other than that, good job! :butzthumbs:

Skittlemask wrote:
luck wrote:
Trucy and Athena rape Apollo and Phoenix?


I know better than to be surprised, but I really am grossed out that someone would write something like that. Anyway, I was planning on doing the strip club AU, but now that I quickly skimmed through the other one, I really want to do that one... Damn, that scene was horribly written, and the author's note was hilarious. I don't know if I should stick with the strip club one or not. I haven't started the sporking yet, so I might change my mind. Not sure yet. Regardless, it definitely deserves a sporking here.

You can always do both if you're not able to decide. I've only skimmed through the strip club one, but it seems pretty sporkable, too.

Last edited by luck on Thu Sep 03, 2015 2:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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luck wrote:
Good sporking, OB(congratulations, you've got a nickname)! You've really been improving. But since I like criticizing (that's what we do here, isn't it?), here's some feedback:
-Why does Edgeworth smirk so much? I don't think there was a reason for it most of the time.
-Apollo was in character but he didn't really make many comments.
-I felt something off with Larry, but I'm not sure what. He's an unexpectedly hard character to write.
-You should make a list with all the characters that the guest star impersonates. There's some of them I can't identify. (Which is funny because I did the same in my first sporking.)

Other than that, good job! :butzthumbs:

Thanks for that. And I don't know why Edgeworth smirks so much...it was a lot less in my head...
I'll work on the characters which are impersonated tomorrow, I'm currently using my iPad.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Hello. I'm just here to tell you that Turnabout Storm will be on hold for a while as I am sick. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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@ob: Bit of criticism:

-Why does Edgeworth keep smirking after every second line he says in the beginning of the spork? Is he that proud of having said something clever or funny? It's not like him to celebrate himself like that.

-All of the sporkers, but especially Larry, seem a bit overemotional at times. And how does Larry first not know what's going on with Athena, and then suddenly panics about it? What happened to clue him in? And if Edgeworth is so confident that "it is clearly a shipping", why does he act like he was dealt a major invalidation after Phoenix says it "doesn't always mean a shipping"? That's like... the lamest, most insignificant form of disagreement he will face in his life right after "I don't hear you, laaaa la laaa", and yet somehow it works? How? Why? If you're certain of something, you won't suddenly change your mind just because someone says "It's not always X" without even giving any reason, example, or... anything.

-Please stick to present tense. Speakers that "turned off" in past tense make it look like you just time-travelled.

-The "Prosecutor's Office" (singular) is indeed spelled that way in the games.

-Finally, this is a minor nitpick, but try not having your sporkers adress each other by name so much. It seems unnatural, especially when you consider that they all sit together and can adjust their volume and position to make it clear whom they are talking to.



That said, I do think it was a decent spork. I'm curious to see where you're going with this abduction arc. May I suggest you use some female sporkers next time? I think someone like Maya (or even Pearl) would work well for you, and you could use them for the enthusiastic/emotional part. Also, remember to take your time. Rushing a spork usually shows (I know what I'm speaking of, believe you me), and it can help to reread and edit the whole thing a few times to spot some details like Edgeworth's smirking. Also also, just in case you didn't do this yet, try to read the dialogues in the characters' tones and voices. It can help you find the best phrasing for them.
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I just got rid of some smirking.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
Hello. I'm just here to tell you that Turnabout Storm will be on hold for a while as I am sick. Sorry for the inconvenience.

No problem, we're patient folk!
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Also, I found this fic... Little Brother's Assistant it's got Kay and Franzy switching bodies... :whip: :kay:
Also, here are the voices the phantom uses. (Yes, it's meant to be lower-case)
Edgeworth
Regina
Gant
De Killer (I think that's the color I used)
Athena
Hugh O'Connor
Wright
Oldbag
Armstrong
Manfred
Gumshoe
Maya
Still Gant
Athena again
Edgeworth again
Franzy
Gumshoe again
Edgeworth yet again
And lastly, Athena, again.


And uh...here's a fic which stars Pearl and Phoenix... Pearl's First Bra It's exactly how it sounds.
And then there's another character writing fan fiction. Maya Writes a Fanfic
And uhhhh... Truth or Dare
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Are any of you aware that Blackquill/Fullbright
Spoiler:
aka Blackquill/Phantom
is now a thing? It's called Blackbright. I can only imagine the pain and suffering that Blackquill will go through when he has to sit through one of those sporkings.

On a side note, I really enjoy this "not feeling pressured to write and publish a sporking as soon as possible". It's a nice feeling.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
Are any of you aware that Blackquill/Fullbright is now a thing? It's called Blackbright.


This isn't really new. In fact, the very first fic on ff.net that involved DD characters was a Blackbright fic. It would be fun to torture Blackquill with those, but I've always seen more fanart of them rather than fanfics.
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
Are any of you aware that Blackquill/Fullbright
Spoiler:
aka Blackquill/Phantom
is now a thing? It's called Blackbright. I can only imagine the pain and suffering that Blackquill will go through when he has to sit through one of those sporkings.

On a side note, I really enjoy this "not feeling pressured to write and publish a sporking as soon as possible". It's a nice feeling.

.....At least it doesn't include Gant... :payne:
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Actually, I love Blackbright.
I might have a fic for it bookmarked already; I'll look for it when I get home. *posting from a café*
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Actually....I wish it was called "Ghostquill" because
Spoiler:
phantom.
:think:
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Spoiler:
Blackbright can refer to either an AU where Fulbright really was alive or Blackquill not knowing about the Phantom yet. If it's specifically the Phantom, and Blackquill knows it, it's called Phantomquill.

Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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Spoiler:
I'm okay with Blackbright as long as it's the real Fulbright. (let's get real, Fulbright and Blackquill play off each other so well.) I find the idea of Phantom being in love with someone incredibly out-of-character for the person with no emotions and the idea of him being shipped with his victims (or those very close to his victims) incredibly disturbing.
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cuteyounggirlplus wrote:
Spoiler:
I'm okay with Blackbright as long as it's the real Fulbright. (let's get real, Fulbright and Blackquill play off each other so well.) I find the idea of Phantom being in love with someone incredibly out-of-character for the person with no emotions and the idea of him being shipped with his victims (or those very close to his victims) incredibly disturbing.

Spoiler:
Well, personally, I don't ship it as in 'the Phantom is in love with Blackquill', since I agree, that is OOC. I ship it as Blackquill being in love with the Phantom (thinking it's Fulbright) and possibly the Phantom pretending to be in love with Blackquill in order to further manipulate him.
For some reason, I really like pairings where one (or both) of the characters is manipulating/taking advantage of the other character (or they're doing it to each other). God knows I shouldn't, considering I know first-hand how awful it is, but it's a fascinating narrative for me.

Also, turns out that I misremembered about that Blackbright fic. I was probably thinking of an actually good one I read a while back, and I don't keep track of goodfic. :gregory:
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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It's okay, Airey. It was more of a suggestion than a request, anyway. And if you're looking for things to do, I'm in the editing stage of my latest Turnabout Storm spork and would appreciate some help, please.
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Sure, PM it over!
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The old forum is gone... Does anyone have a backup or something of the old thread? I only found out about this today.
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We have a backup of one of the sporkings, but that's all, I think. We were talking about this when it first went down, so you can go a few pages back.
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Thanks. I'll check it out.

EDIT: Wait, they sporked a trial in space fanfic? Sounds interesting...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!Topic%20Title

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I found two fics:

This one is called "Everybody hates Phoenix":

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3716026/1/ ... es-Phoenix

Apparently from the kink meme, this one ships Machi Toyabe and Wocky Kitaki together:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/27724
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