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"Oh... I was just wondering why we don't walk on our hands." She showed hers to Bryan, palm out and fingers spread apart. "Look how much area it covers. Weird, isn't it?" she smiled.
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"Well...many people do not have the upper arm strength to support walking on hands regularly," Koichi answered helpfully.
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"Hmm, I don't know..." Urumi replied with a mellow tone. "I mean... babies. Babies take a while to learn to walk on their feet, right? Well, maybe if they learned to use their hands instead, they'd just do it when they grow up without even thinking about it..."
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"I must say, you raise a good point," Koichi pondered. "However, humans do naturally walk with their feet. In addition, if you were to walk using your hands, what would you eat with? Your feet? But your feet would be putrid, as they would most likely have been exposed to a sock or a shoe."
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"That's just the way society is." Jack contributed. "It allows no room for individuality anymore. Everybody has to walk like everyone, and have the same smartphone, and follow the right celebrities. Corporations see identity as a crutch, and we're treated as data. And they might even be right. "
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"Well, I would certainly not judge someone who decides to walk with their hands instead of their feet. It just strikes me as counter-intuitive to the tried and true 'foot method.'"
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Amidst the very deep philosophical discussion happening around him, Bryan simply blinks before burying his face into his free hand. "Ay caramba..."

He then looks back up and turns to Jack. "Just how strong are these things anyway?" he asks, holding the brownie wrapped in a napkin up.
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CaptainPancakes wrote:
"I must say, you raise a good point," Koichi pondered. "However, humans do naturally walk with their feet. In addition, if you were to walk using your hands, what would you eat with? Your feet? But your feet would be putrid, as they would most likely have been exposed to a sock or a shoe."

"Pfft!" Urumi snickered. "What're you talking about? Why would you wear socks and shoes on your feet if you walk with your hands? Silly Koichi."

She pulled one of her sandals off and slid it on her hand, then showed it to Koichi. "See?"
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Koichi studied Urumi's sandals closely.

"Wow! That is very innovative! I commend you for your creativity!"
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Oscar snorts at the display, not even bothering to keep up with the movie anymore. "Why Urumi, I think you ought to show us how this would work. I'm having a hard time believing this hand walking lifestyle is all it's cracked up to be without seeing it in practice."
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Collin1002 wrote:
Amidst the very deep philosophical discussion happening around him, Bryan simply blinks before burying his face into his free hand. "Ay caramba..."

He then looks back up and turns to Jack. "Just how strong are these things anyway?" he asks, holding the brownie wrapped in a napkin up.

"Uhhhh, probably around 14?" Jack said, not specifying further.
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James simply continued watching the movie, blissfully unaware of the shenanigans occurring around him.
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lcarus wrote:
Oscar snorts at the display, not even bothering to keep up with the movie anymore. "Why Urumi, I think you ought to show us how this would work. I'm having a hard time believing this hand walking lifestyle is all it's cracked up to be without seeing it in practice."

"Um, it's just like..." Urumi put her other sandal on her bare hand and easily pushed herself up into a handstand. "Like, do this, then walk. Just like..."

For some reason, she had a little more trouble actually moving her hands once they were supporting the weight of the rest of her body. She tried lifting each a couple times but only managed to awkwardly lift them slightly. It was a wonder she didn't fall over - it looked like she might any moment. "Huh... Maybe this is that not growing up doing it thing..."
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Keri anxiously got up to move a little closer to Urumi, looking like she wanted to catch her if she fell but also not wanting to get too close and ruin her fun.
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"I-I take it back, maybe this is exactly what we needed..." Oscar chuckles, a bit impressed by Urumi's inhibited acrobatics. "W-Well, it's a fantastic idea. If you decide to have a child, you must teach them this new way of thinking! Years from now, maybe we'll be seeing hand walkers as a regular part of society?"
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Jack continued to look at Urumi and his eyes widened. "Wait, I know just the movie for this!" He goes up to VAL and turns off the movie during the climax as Stroud is confronting the culpables. A new movie begins playing instead: Alice in Wonderland.

[don't ask how he changed the movie SiRReN is gone for the weekend]
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lcarus wrote:
"I-I take it back, maybe this is exactly what we needed..." Oscar chuckles, a bit impressed by Urumi's inhibited acrobatics. "W-Well, it's a fantastic idea. If you decide to have a child, you must teach them this new way of thinking! Years from now, maybe we'll be seeing hand walkers as a regular part of society?"

"Whoa, maybe... Changing the world, huh?"

With minimal wobbling, Urumi eased herself back into her seat. She instinctively reached for her water before realizing she was still wearing her sandal on her hand. She frowned for a moment, then raised her leg and tried to grab the glass with her foot, only managing to push the container around the surface of the table a little. "...There might be a couple problems with this idea," she thoughtfully concluded.
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James jumped and turned to Jack. "You idiot! We were just getting to the climax!"
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Jack's eyes widened at the screen as James yelled at him. He looked utterly horrified and disgusted.

"Aw shit it's the Tim Burton version!" He ran up to VAL and quickly changed it to the classic.
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James' eyes widened. "You...dislike the Tim Burton version?" His confusion appeared genuine.
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"Ah, and it was such a fine dream..." Oscar sighs, mildly disappointed that upside-down children would likely never be a thing. His mood turns to bewilderment upon turning his attention back to the movies.

"I'm sorry, there was a new Alice in Wonderland? Is that a bad thing?" He asks, baffled by the drastically different reactions between James and Jack.
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"Of course not", James said bluntly. "It was a cinematic masterpiece superior to its original. I don't see why it gets such fervent dislike from this mediocre moron."
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"Oh please. As someone who wrote both of those movies, the original is clearly superior." Jack argued. "A coming of age story about a girl who trips on drugs and finds out reality is just an illusion--doesnt get better than that."
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"...Was Alice a pothead? I'm quite sure she was just dreaming", James rebutted.
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lcarus wrote:
"Ah, and it was such a fine dream..." Oscar sighs, mildly disappointed that upside-down children would likely never be a thing.

"No, it's fine, I got this," Urumi insisted, still stubbornly trying to pick her mug up without just using her hands. Suddenly, her eyes widened in realization; she spent a minute working her toes through the mug handle, then carefully lifted the glass and raised it to her mouth to finally quench her thirst. "There!" she declared triumphantly. "Easy."
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"Nice job!" Bryan said, giving Urumi a thumbs up in response to having watched her grab her mug not using her hands. "Not many people can do that, so really, that was impressive!"
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Spoiler: The Next Day
James walks out into the dusty road under the hot sun, clapping his hands twice. Under his arm, he holds a stack of papers. His trusty camera is wrapped around.

“Hello, could I get everyone’s undivided attention please? I am interested in getting your help with my newest masterpiece! I expect you all to take this honor very seriously!”

There’s a moment of confused silence as everyone realizes that James is being serious about this whole thing.

“Okay, sounds fun!” calls Bryan, and soon everyone seems to be excited to receive their role, though anything involving James tends to inspire a lot of apprehension.

After everyone spends a half hour or so learning their lines, they gather to start shooting the scenes under the guidance of James. Soon, though, people begin having problems.

“Th-that’s where you’re wrong sheriff! As u-usual, you have a stick up your butt! N-not that you’d even know what that means!” calls Bryan. He is dressed in chaps, spurs, and a ten gallon hat. He winces as he sees Koichi’s reaction to the line.

“What’s all this about a stick up my butt? I keep myself clean and stick-free!” Koichi argues back directly, apparently not even reading the script. Koichi is wearing another cowboy outfit, with a large sheriff’s badge on his vest.

“Koichi, say your line, come on! This is your moment!” Oscar offers his encouragement from the sidelines, where he too is dressed in western garb.

Koichi’s feelings seem to be hurt though, and his reading isn’t very good, “W-well Mr. Morales, you lack the spark of a real hero! You are too stupid, and uh, you uh, don’t have much depth, either! One could call you a Buff Buffoon!”

Urumi, garbed in a frilly dress, seemingly very sweaty in the direct sunlight loudly groans, “You’re kidding me, right? James is just messing with us! The whole script is us insulting one another!”

James seems to pay her no mind and continues filming.

“Perhaps this is all just a part of the story?” Keri asks civilly. “Or perhaps James just can’t help it?”

“My character calls Jack’s character Mr. Mediocre in pretty much every scene, even though we’re supposed to be friends,” grumbles Urumi. “This is a farce.”

“I thought we would keep up with the farce a little longer though, no? I enjoy my part quite a lot!” Oscar beams, a tiny bit smug. “Oh well, the part did not inspire me that much, admittedly. It did not make the use it could have out of my skills. Come on Raul, let’s end this.”

Raul, who was reading his part and quietly blushing, looks up and nods, tossing the script to the side.

The two of them walk over to James, who is filming Koichi and Bryan from under the water tower.

“Alright, James! You heard us! We do not stand to make fools of ourselves and be called names!” Raul commands.

James, seeing that the jig is up, sighs and puts down the camera, cracking a smile. “Perhaps you are all not the fools I thought you were! It only took us a few scenes for you to notice! That’s right! I made you simpletons make fools of yourselves on camera! None of you will ever be hired in this town again!”

Bryan, beet red, runs up to James, “You vile… I read the whole script! I saw what you said about my sister!”

Raul and Oscar both falter, feeling bad for Bryan. Raul puts a hand on Bryan’s shoulder and clenches his fist, “He said vile things about my countrymen. He also cruelly mocked my cause.”

Bryan looks James in the eyes, and suddenly throws a punch, which rushes over James’s head.

James tries to crawl away, but Bryan throws a powerful kick his way. In reaction James quickly scuttles up, reaching in his pocket for something.

Bryan sees the glint of metal as James pulls out the revolver. Screams can be heard from far away as everyone sees things begin to look serious. Raul jumps into the fray.

“I’ll shoot you, scum! I will stamp out your pathetic life!” James screeches, as Bryan wraps his arms around him.

James screams and wriggles a hand free, punching at the air. The pathetic flailing eventually connects with something, the leg of the water tower, and dust flies off of it, the wood cracking.

The water tower begins to fall, and it’s all over in an instant.

“H-hey, I’m gonna have to fix that, you know!” whines Kyle from everyone’s bracelets. “At the very least I gotta pay for it! Be careful!”

The four of them are soaked, but okay. Raul is holding a leg that had almost fell on them. Oscar is holding the gun and the scruff of James’s shirt. Koichi slowly moseys on up.

“Alright boys, I’ll take this one from here. Thank y’all fer yer help,” he says, and slaps the handcuffs on James. “I’m taking you down to the station.”

“M-me?! I was simply directing! This buff buffoon started something out of nothing!” James protests, as Koichi begins guiding him over to the stockades. “The gun wasn’t even loaded, you imbecile!”

Koichi ignores him, and soon James is locked in the stockade, apparently unable to leave for the next few days. Everyone is still deciding on what his sentence should be.

Once all that is dealt with, Otto comes out to fix the water tower, and Keri suggests that all the guns be put in the safes. Furthermore, they decide to take the bullets out of them and give those to V.A.L.

“I’m trained in safe-cracking, so I can open all the safes here, and figure out the pass codes,” Keri elucidates, when asked about the plan. “But it is unlikely that I would take a gun myself, because without ammunition, it would be useless. The rest of you will have no chance at getting the guns, so hopefully you all can trust in my idea.”

In the end, everyone agrees to this, and all the bullets, shells, blanks, and rubber bullets get placed in V.A.L.’s compartment. Leaving the place completely free of dangerous equipment.

"Bzzt, I will not let these fall into the wrong hands!" V.A.L. whirrs.
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"Well it's about time. I wanted to get rid of the stupid guns in the first place." Urumi wiped some sweat from her forehead with a handkerchief, apparently back to her old self. She shot a glance towards the stockades. "So what do we do with him? I suppose we can't just leave him here..."
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"...H-He is an endangerment to us. Perhaps we should keep watch over him..."

Koichi shook his head at Bryan. "I understand your anger, but I recommend you abstain from violence against James from here on out. He is misguided..."
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"But how's he gonna go to the bathroom? Somebody's gonna need to bring him a bucket and like uh... wipe him and stuff." Jack finished awkwardly.

He then quickly put his finger on his nose. "Not it."
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"As eager as I am to straddle someone with that responsibility, we do have holding cells." Oscar says, doing his best to shake out his badly drenched jacket. "Not too difficult to transfer him to one. Assuming we... actually keep him jailed that long."
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Bryan sighs, having calmed down since James was put in the stock, looking somewhat remorseful. "Sorry, guys... I'm just tired of his attitude, and him mocking my family was the last straw. I kiiinda flew off the wall..." he sheepishly said as he scratched behind his head.

He then looks over at Koichi, nodding in response to him. "Alrighty. I'll do that. And, uh, sorry for all those insults. I was just readin' off the script--I didn't mean any of them."
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"I apologize as well," Koichi smiled. "...For many things..."
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"I'm up for the cell plan," Urumi voted. "Let's be real, I don't think anyone here particularly LIKES James, but... I wouldn't feel good about leaving him out in this heat, either."
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"It would be particularly bad to leave him out and vulnerable where scorpions could get him," Keri said, expression neutral. "A cell would be the better option..."
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"Leaving him in the cells would be good, indeed." Raul agreed, water still dripping from his clothes. "Anything but letting him run around unsupervised at this point. He clearly has no interest in cooperating with us, we can't just let him keep doing whatever he wants..."
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"Ah, seems just about every one of us is in agreement here!" Oscar beams. "Now here's my plan. How about we give him another hour or so in the stocks, then we decide who's moving him into the jail? I'd say we all need a little time to recover after that... attempt at a film."
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"Fine with me. It'll give me a chance to get out of this thing." Urumi tugged at the skirt of her dress. "It's hot, and dresses like this really don't suit me anyway. We should probably have more than one person move him, though. Just in case he tries to pull something again."
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"Nonsense, you look wonderful!" Keri said, herself looking quite unusual in a dress of her own rather than her usual black robe. "Strange how little these clothes account for the local climate though. Seems rather impractical to me, even if they do look nice... a shame, really."
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"Oh I agree, these outfits would be wonderful in a different setting. Makes one wonder how the settlers didn't all die of heatstroke a week after arrival..." Oscar seems to have completely given up on his jacket, having now stripped it off and slung over his shoulder. "I'd be perfectly willing to lead the good director to his cell later, but I've no objections to making it a two man job. Volunteers, anyone?"
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