P2

*loud crashing noises coming from laptop*

Apollo: ...

Phoenix: Uh, what are you two doing?

Trucy: Oh! Welcome back, Daddy!


P3

Phoenix: Huh? Are they watching those DVDs Maya sent me?

*Next Week: The Evil Magistrate's Conspiracy!*

Apollo: Trucy said we shouldn't interrupt them...

Trucy: Yeah, since Athena hasn't had time to go on a real date with him.

Apollo: If they wanted to flirt it out, they could just take it outside, find a room for themselves, and leave us be...

Phoenix: ...Um, Apollo?

[A/N: The door's still open.]

Phoenix: We might not be able to avoid locking them up in some room anyway...

Apollo: Why?
Nooo way! They're not gonna do it!? Not even try? Eh? Not even a kiss?

Phoenix: ...Seems like it.
According to what Trucy heard from her, Blackquill said something like "Before I do marry the precious daughter of my master, it is forbidden for me to snatch away her virginity."

Apollo: ...Thinking about it, she would be more precious to him than whatever he thinks of my life.
> At least, that's what it seems.

Blackquill: ...Hey.
What was that racket just now about? It echoed throughout the entire building.


P4

Blackquill: Instead of standing out here hiding and chattering among yourselves, just come in.

Athena: We were waiting for you guys to show up!

Trucy: But we just wanted to leave you two alone!

Athena: Aw, Trucy, you really understand people's feelings!
> Thanks!

Okay, Mr. Wright! Apollo! We're going on ahead!

All three: See you later!

Trucy: They're so much in love, aren't they?

Apollo: No, I'd say they're more annoyed about the people crowding around them.

Phoenix: ...Oh, boy. It's one thing after another.
> Is Blackquill feeling alright?

Apollo: Huh?

Phoenix: Trucy, Apollo, head inside. We have a little something to talk about.

Trucy: Okay, Daddy.


P5

Phoenix: Hold this and take a look at Blackquill.

*cling-clang*

Apollo: Whoa!
Is that guy keeping some sort of immense secret?

Phoenix: No, can you see what color they are?

Apollo: Uh... Kinda pink... maybe purple?

Phoenix: Up until now, I've only seen red and black locks.
It doesn't appear when Blackquill's just by himself, only when he's together with Athena.
It all started from there.
I asked Pearls to check into them.

Pearl: (According to the ancient texts,
black and other colored locks were very rare to find.
They've largely remained a mystery that's lasted up to now.)

P6

Pearl: (It said, "Those Psyche-locks appear when a person tries to suppress
their feelings of lust and firmly believes them to only be a sin.")

Apollo: Whaaaat? What a hopeless guy, that Blackquill!
He even had five of those locks appear!

Phoenix: There were only three the other day...

Apollo: It's because of how far he's willing to take his conviction to uphold his honor and fidelity as a samurai, isn't it?

Phoenix: I guess?

...

Athena: ...Oh, that reminds me. It's already been a week since Aura's release from prison. Has she settled down by now?

Blackquill: Yeah. Whether in prison or out free in the world, she's still the same as ever.

P7

Blackquill: You still visit her from time to time, right?

Athena: Yep.
I wanted to ask her about my mother... among other things.

Blackquill: ...Is that so.

Athena: I even asked her about when you were little, Simon!

Blackquill: What?
Just what did that woman talk about!?

Athena: It's a seeecret.


P8

Athena: ......

P9

Athena: (It's already been a year since then, huh?
Simon...)


P10

Juniper: ...Thena?
Thena, are you okay?

Athena: Ah, sorry!
I was just thinking back to the day when I first met Simon in court...

Juniper: Oh, you mean the Ninetales Vale case?

Athena: Yeah, that one.

Juniper: I wish I was there to see it.
I'm sure Apollo was really cool in there...

Robin: Hey, hey! Why don't you two pair up with those guys and go on a double date sometime?
[T/N: She mentions a place name, "Arafune". I suspect the author means the mountain that goes by that name, located in Gunma Prefecture in central Japan. For our purposes, though we can just leave it out.]

Athena: Hey, about that, Robin...
> Just listen!


P11

Athena: Even though I got really excited over seeing Juni and Apollo get along,
he's way too oblivious to get it! It won't work!

Robin: Oh? You got excited, and then what?

Athena: At some point, I pretended to bump into Juni to push her into him
and get them to hold hands...
> Apollo, We can't have Juni getting lost in this crowd! You should hold onto her!
> Wow, going shopping with Simon! I'm so happy! Yaaay!
> See that, Apollo?
I also tried to get him to buy her a present...

Apollo> Er... you wanna get that?

And finally, we left them alone to themselves...

Apollo> Huh? Where'd they go?

But in the end, he didn't get into the dating mood at all! Not, at, all!
Ugh, it looks like it's pointless unless Juni outright confesses to him.

Juniper: N-no thanks! It's embarrassing!

Athena> But he doesn't have a girlfriend, so go for it!

I... I was content with just getting to go on a date with Apollo...
> thanks to Thena and Mr. Blackquill...

Robin: Daaaww! You're such a sweetie, Juniper!

Athena: Um, I guess it's okay if you're happy about it...

Robin: But ya know? It's weird that Mr. Birdman even went along with it.

Athena: Yeah, you're right.
He was really nice to lend me a hand...

Juniper: Aw, Thena's blushing.

Robin: That's so cute! I should get a boyfriend too...


P12

Robin: Hmm... If you don't mind me asking,
After going on a date with him, did you two stay the night together?
Right next to him, even?

Athena: No... that'd just be...

Juniper, Robin: Whaaat?

Athena: Why do you both have the same reaction?
> Trucy was there too!
...Besides, I promised my mom that I wouldn't do it until after I got married.

Juniper: Well, you are her most precious treasure, after all.

Robin> Oh, that's so beautiful!

Athena: Yeah.
I know that, but...
Lately, I've been...


P13

Athena: ...hearing all this noise.
It's so loud...
as if he was locking his true feelings away deep in his heart.
It's too complicated for me to make out what it's saying.

Robin: So you can't figure out anything?

Athena: Yep.
I really want to talk with him about it, but I don't think it'd be appropriate in court.

Juniper: Thena...


P14

[A/N: They're all probably virgins, so they don't have an answer to their sexual drives.]
[T/N: Typo. I suspect it's supposed to be 模様 at the end. I can't find a definition for "模用" anywhere.]

Myriam: Sss sss sss...
You fools!
If you just leave it at that,
you're bound to fall into infidelity!

Athena: No, no! It's not like that, Myriam!

Robin: Yeah! Birdguy and Athena are already tied by the thread of destiny anyway!

Myriam: Oh, I don't think so!
If you stop making a fuss about it, you'll only have to accept the harsh reality!
And you'll be the one to take responsibility!

Athena: That's just silly!
No matter how many times you say it, staying the night with him won't work out!

Robin: But you're okay with him whenever, aren't you?

Athena: But he's never even tried to kiss me...
> He did give me a peck on the cheek before, though

Juniper, Robin: Really?

Robin: But something like a kiss wouldn't count as premarital sex.

Myriam> Sss sss sss...

Athena: Yeah, you think so too, right?

Juniper: ...
That's right! Thena, why don't you just give him a kiss?

Athena: Even you, Juni!?


P15

Juniper: If you go ahead with it, I may even find the courage to confess to Apollo!

Athena: Juni...

Juniper: I'll try to help any way I can!

Athena: Hmm...
I guess I do feel like kissing him...

Juniper> Right?

Robin> Right?

Myriam> Sss sss sss

Robin> I'll also give you my all to heeeelp!

Myriam: I'll plant this trump card and draw him in!

Athena: Thank you, everyone!

...

Blackquill: What did you need to see me for, sir?

Edgeworth: ...Hm.
As the Chief Prosecutor, I suggest you take parental leave.


P16

Blackquill: What?

Edgeworth: Since there have been too many requests coming in, it's been rather noisy up here.
First of all, you should take the initiative and act as a model for the rest of your co-workers.

> Is he indirectly telling me I've been designated for assignment?
Blackquill: ...Taking a leave or not, I don't have a wife anyway.

> That's not my point
Edgeworth: The one in this office who's closest to proposing marriage is you.
Aren't you planning to marry Ms. Cykes sometime soon?

Blackquill: ...Even then, it's still too soon at this time.

Edgeworth: "At this time", meaning it's just about settled, correct?

Blackquill: ...Well. Perhaps when Athena has reached 20 years of age.

Edgeworth: Oh?
Was that a promise you've made to her mother?

Blackquill: No...
It's nothing like that.
Just something I decided on my own.


P17

Edgeworth: ...Hm.
It's as what Wright said. Once I bring her up into the conversation, those locks would appear.

Blackquill: What?
What's that strange toy you've brought out?
...Oh, I see. I've heard about it from Athena.

Edgeworth: I can prove it to you that it isn't some fake.
It's been bothering me for a while too.
Ever since you've been released from prison, your face hasn't been as pale as it used to be... Rather, those bags under your eyes have faded.
From there, I've figured it out. Furthermore, there's also what Wright had told me.

Wright: (Even seeing them up close, Athena's always pushing for him.
Since Blackquill can't show up late for work even once, she'd always wait for him at the office so they can head home together. Plus, she'd always cling to his arm whenever they take walks. Just the other day, Athena even fell asleep on his lap while watching some DVDs with him.)

Edgeworth: All that is reason enough for me to think it's a very important matter.
It's unusual for you to display such behavior so openly before others.

Blackquill: I don't enjoy acting that way in front of others either.
> And for starters, it's just Athena who acts that way

Edgeworth: Yet, according to Wright...

Wright: (Whenever she's that happy, you really can't refuse her, can you?)

Edgeworth: ...isn't that right?
I do admire your resolve to withhold any intimate desires you may have before marriage.
However...
She is most definitely of legal age. Not to mention, Ms. Cykes is a respectable member of society. Everyone from the courts to her associates and even herself can admit to this.
There's no reason for you to continue avoiding to consent to premarital intercourse or entering into your family registers.

Blackquill: Excuse me, sir...
But if you have the free time to spend it pushing your 29-year-old subordinate into intimacy with a 19-year-old girl, then you who's already 35 should look for a wife of his own!
Even though I don't care that I haven't been with a woman during my prison days, but why would you specifically insist on choosing her?
You even have a certain strange old bag who's always doting on you.

Edgeworth: GAH

P19

[A/N: boss who can't utter a single grunt at how his subordinate got a girlfriend so soon after his release]

Edgeworth: ...So, you do have some sort of reason
to wait until Ms. Cykes is 20, don't you?

Blackquill: ...Though, it's only if she doesn't change her mind later.

Edgeworth: ...Hm?

Blackquill: Think about it.
At that time, she was only an 11-year-old grade schooler.
It was by chance that I became like a first love to her, but while she had that annoying ability, through those eyes, I saw how she continued to live after the trauma she was enveloped in seven years ago.
She may have just mistaken it as a fateful encounter, just like a kid would believe.
Even now, as she's living her usual life,
She may have even awakened to find some other young man to fall for.


P20

Edgeworth: ...

Blackquill: When that happens, I will be too late to reach out to Athena.
I will have no choice but to slit my stomach before my late master.

Edgeworth: However, it will only be one more year before Ms. Cykes turns 20.

Blackquill: That's when the question of the matter will be become clear.

Edgeworth: And you're simply going to wait until then? It will be too late if you push toward the very limits.

Blackquill: Limits?
Then, I'll take these troubles with me even when I cross the River Styx,
[He mentions the name of a fabled river, the Sanzu River, which is basically the Japanese variant of the Styx.]
no matter what happens to me.

Edgeworth: Blackquill...


P21

Aura: Are you an idiot!?
What are you trying to act cool about!?

Both: !?

Blackquill: Why are you even here!?

Aura: The police said they would return all the things they confiscated from me, and I came by to pick them up.
Since there's a lot of stuff, I was going to ask you to help me.
But since you and the Chief Prosecutor were so busy talking, I was told to wait by the receptionist's.
But I didn't want to bother waiting that long.

> Barging into the Prosecutor's Office like it's no one's business...
Blackquill: ...My apologies, sir. She's always been that kind of woman.

Edgeworth: Hm.
> Yes, I know.

Aura: I was listening in from outside the door, and you've been piling on nothing but complaints.
In short, aren't you just scared to lose your chances to other men?

P22

Aura: The point is, you shouldn't just give up quietly. What you should do is backtrack to your prison days. Slash through those guys!
Don't make me laugh!
Deep down, you just wanna rob that princess of her virginity! F*ck her silly and make some babies, don't you!?
> Ahahahaha!
> He's gotta been hounded about it in prison!

Edgeworth: A w-woman should not speak of such vulgar things!
> Nngoooooh!

Aura: Don't hold back! Have as many babies as you want! Then just have her put them up for adoption! It's what Metis would want!
> I'm looking forward to the wedding!

Blackquill: Are you a demon witch from the Feudal Age!?
> She'll be a widow even without getting married!
If you want a daughter so much, then hurry up and find someone to make your own!

Aura: Hah! Like I want to be bothered with marriage! I'm just fine by myself!

Blackquill: When you finally turn into a withering old hag yourself, I won't bother seeing you anymore!

Aura: I wouldn't want to your help anyway! When you become a bearded geezer yourself, just rust away in the nursery home like that Piece of Junk!

Edgeworth: Stop this sibling quarrel at once!


P23

Edgeworth: If you need to collect those confiscated items, then get to it! In any case, just settle down, both of you!
> These two are a special case!

Aura: Oh? You're actually able to speak up.

Blackquill: How disgraceful...

Edgeworth: Just get going already!

Aura: You don't have to say it. I was leaving anyway.
Ah, yeah. One more thing, Simon.
That girl...
If you don't marry her, you'll end up forever alone.

Blackquill: You're quick to assert that.

Aura: I'm making a bet.


P24

Aura: That girl would always bring it up whenever she often came to visit me in detention.
She was desperate to become an attorney to save you.
Before she wanted to become one, she was seriously considering ways to break you out of jail.
She even tried learning things like making bombs or handling heavy artillery, and she even planned to hire someone to drive a getaway car or plane.

Blackquill: She was actually going to do what you would do, huh...

Edgeworth: It was best that Wright led her down the path of an attorney.

Aura: It was a weight on her shoulders. That said, she's the stubborn and honest type, so she wouldn't turn away so easily.
That is exactly... what Metis would have wanted.

Blackquill: ...!


P25

Phoenix: ...I see.
Not until she's turned 20... huh?
I guess it's a little too soon to ask Maya or Pearl to call Athena's mother back.
It doesn't seem like she'll come at this time anyway.
...But, it looks like Aura's advice came through.

Edgeworth: Indeed.

Phoenix: It's often said that they would know fully well. I hope those two will happily get together soon.

Edgeworth: Same here.


P26

A/N: For now, just wanted to draw them going shopping for lucky underwear.

Continue from here...

P27

Blackquill: I heard you've been going through hard financial times and needed a hand with your business?

Phoenix: It was Juniper who asked for you, you see.

Apollo: We've still got an awful lot of things left.
> We're grateful, really

Phoenix: Mr. Blackquill, if you don't mind, please help carry these boxes.

Athena: The veggies from Juni's home garden are really delicious!

Apollo: Athena, don't you think you've gotten too many at once...?

Phoenix: How about carrying them one at a time?

Athena: I'm okay! I got it!


P28

Blackquill: I'll bring them to your house for you.

[(1) Operation Mass Veggie Delivery Success]

Athena: (Alright!)

Phoenix, Apollo: ...

Athena> I'll hold this one!

Apollo: Athena looks like she's planning something.

Phoenix: I hope it'll be fine...
> Those Psyche-locks led to something incredible


P29

Athena: Can you bring it into the kitchen?

Blackquill: I don't want tea or anything. I'll just leave it here and get out.

> Tch...
Athena: You saw right through it, huh?

*twinkle*

Athena: Hiyah!

Blackquill: !!


P30

Athena: Hmph!
*yoink*

Blackquill: !!!
*oomph*

[(2) Operation Catch Blackquill Trap v.1, planned by Myriam & built by Robin, Success]

Athena: Yyyes!


P31

Blackquill: Hey!
What are you pulling this stupid prank on me for...?


P32

*jangle*

Athena: Here...
the master key.

...I'm sorry
that I got you into this.
I'm so happy that you treasure me so much.
...I just wanted to... give you a kiss...


P33

Athena: From here, I can hear so much noise coming from you.
...I don't know why, though.
For some reason, I thought back to what happened last year.
Even though I finally got to meet with you
and was already so close to you,
I knew I couldn't approach the prosecution's bench
from the defense's.
I stretched out my hand, but couldn't reach you.
You didn't call me "Athena", but "Cykes-dono".
It felt like I was being pushed away that way...
And then...


P34

Blackquill: ...!

Athena: You didn't change at all since 7 years ago. You turned your back on anything and everything all to protect me.
You were trying to protect me by giving me those bitter eyes, but I didn't want them.


P35

Athena: If I can't bring you close to me,
then next time, please part ways with me...

*pliiing*

*snap*

Athena: Ah...

Blackquill: ...Geez.
Always doing whatever you want...

Athena: (Simon...
is he mad at me?)

P38

Athena: !!
...mm...

*beeeeeep*
*boom*

...hah...


P39

Blackquill: ...

*screech*

*door open & shut*


P40

Phoenix: ...Athena, what happened between you two?
> Uh-oh...

Athena: ..........mmf.
*mutter*

Phoenix: Huh?

Athena: It's all my faaault... Even Widget broke.

Phoenix: What?

Athena: It's gotta be some sort of cuuuurse...

Phoenix> So did it go to plan or not...?


P41

Phoenix: Why don't you try calling him for now?

Athena: I tried, but he wouldn't pick up...

Phoenix: Well... that is a problem, huh?

Athena: (Simon...
got mad at me.
Really mad...!)

P42

Athena: ...
*ba-bump*

Phoenix: Hey, Athena! It's Prosecutor Blackquill!

*panic*


P43

Phoenix: Hm?
(One of the locks is gone!)

Athena: Mr. Blackquill!
Um...! I...

Blackquill: Here.

Athena: ...Ah...
He gave me back the keeeey...

Blackquill: ...Wright-dono.

Phoenix: Uh... yes?


P44

Blackquill: I need your help for a bit.

Phoenix: What!? This is...

Athena: It's all overrrr...

Blackquill: ...Athena.
Look carefully at that key.

Athena: It's not... for my house?

Phoenix: How's this?

Blackquill: Oh, you have my thanks.


P45

Blackquill: Next up...
is yours.

Athena: Huh...?
Whaaaaaaat!?


P46

*Steel Samurai Theme*

Phoenix: What now, at a time like this!?
...Hello? Oh, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: Did Blackquill head over there, Wright!?

[T/N: It's a family registry form. They're adding each other's names to officially recognize their marriage. Both "Miles Edgeworth" and "Phoenix Wright" are listed as witnesses.]

Phoenix: Hold on! Right now...

*beep*
[T/N: probably turned on the speaker]

Athena: ...!
...!!

Blackquill: ...
If you don't want to, then it can't be helped. I'll tear it up and toss it.

Athena: Aaah! No, dooon't!


P47

Athena: ...I, I'm so nervous my hand's shaking...
Ah! I wrote it wrong!

Blackquill: Calm down!

[T/N: She messed up the "koko" part of her name.]

*pliiing, pliiing, pliiing*

Phoenix: (We did it, Edgeworth.)

Edgeworth: Whew.

P48

Phoenix: Athena, Mr. Blackquill, congrats!

Blackquill: Yeah. It's also thanks to you all for this and that.
Let's head off for the ward office, Athena.

Athena: Eep...
Eep eep!

*wobble*

Phoenix: (Oh, there's one more left over.)
> Ah, well, maybe tomorrow
Wow, even I was nervous even though I was just watching them.
> *sigh* what a relief
...
When Trucy does get a husband of her own, I'll be pretty lonely, won't I?

Edgeworth: Is that so?
> irked

Phoenix: ...Edgeworth, you up for some drinks?

Edgeworth: Sure.


P49

Blackquill: How long are you going to stay shocked, Athena?

> Ack!
Athena: I, I still can't believe it.
...because... you got angry with me and all.

Blackquill: ...I wasn't angry at you.
I was angry at my own foolishness.


P50

Blackquill: Even after I threw away my own life, thinking that would bring happiness to the one I wished to protect,
my idiot self led that person to grieve for me instead.
I couldn't help but feel disgusted by my own ignorance.

Athena: Simon...
...
Are you okay with us crossing arms?

Blackquill: Huh? Even when you become quiet, you'd still do that, so why haven't you today?

Athena: Because the last time I did it, you pushed me away and ran off without me.

Blackquill: Ah, yes, about that... You must be aware of the terrible destructive power behind your breasts!

*squish*

> Don't you dare mess with someone who's gone through 7 years of hard prison life!
Upon becoming harassed by such an attack from your cleavage, I had to exercise so much self-restraint against the produced imagery that my heart began to waver and tense!

Athena: Th-the real identity of that noise was THAAAT!?
> I know I did it on purpose, but it had that much of an effect!?
Waah! I'm so embarrassed now!
> Aaaaaah

Blackquill: Make up your mind! Are we crossing arms or not!?

Athena: Ooh...
Fine!

Blackquill> That's more like it.

P52

Blackquill: ...Athena.
Tomorrow, let's go buy a wedding ring.

Athena: OK!

*door open & shut*


P53

*pliiiiing*


P54

Athena: Aaaaah! Wait, I don't have my lucky panties on right now!

Blackquill: Like I give a damn about those details!

[A/N: Thank you for reading.]

Maya: Uh-oh. Capital overload alert.

Franziska: Oh, for crying out loud! Why must these imbeciles invite me for some pathetic mess of a fanfic which never utilizes proofreading!?

Phoenix: I'd probably go with "marketing value"... Oww!

Franziska: And this is why you deserve to play the role of "whip bait", Mr. Phoenix Wright.

Phoenix: Uuugh...

Speakers: ...I see. It's another one of these odd ones. So this was your intention from the very beginning.

... *whistles*



Maya: Uh... for WHAT?

Edgeworth: I presume the author may have meant to write the word "everyone", but given the lack of context, I may be mistaken.

Phoenix: Actually, I think I'm more disturbed by how quickly you could discern that.

Edgeworth: I hate to admit it, but... these things gradually dawn on you over time.

Franziska: By "Chapter 1", I really hope there won't be an extended stay this session...

Speakers: Who knows...

Franziska: You do, you fool!



Franziska: ...

Phoenix: ...Well, we're off to a great start.

Edgeworth: ...Urgh. Just when I had forgotten all about that fic from before...

Speakers: If you don't mind me asking, I find something curious. Why would a member of the original management be willing to appear here before us "condemned criminals"?

That is entirely none of your business, Mr. Gant.

...Very well, then.



Phoenix: Yeah, that's pretty stupid, alright.

Maya: I dunno. Being forced to eat gross food for the rest of your life sentence must really be harsh punishment.

Phoenix: Of course YOU would say that...

Maya: What? It's a legitimate point!

Franziska: ...Does this author EVER use punctuation!?



Phoenix: Oh, God.

Edgeworth: ...



Edgeworth: Ugh! J-just why does the actor playing Gant have to stare right into the camera!?

Speakers: Honestly, I have no problems whatsoever with the film direction.

Phoenix: Of course you wouldn't...

Maya: I'm getting the feeling the guard's going to get tricked...



Maya: No, duh. What was he even expecting?

Franziska: A snugglefest, apparently.



Phoenix: Oh, God!

Edgeworth: Why are you more shocked to see him than you were to see fic-Gant!?

Phoenix: This guy always just pops in from nowhere when you least expect it...

Franziska: Forget that! This fic deserves a whip or two for that misspelling of "here"!

Maya: Huh? Why are you reacting to this stuff NOW?

Franziska: If it wasn't obvious enough, I was holding back! But that "hear" simply makes me cringe every time I see it...

Phoenix: ...I'd think it's the least of your problems, though...

Franziska: *raises whip*

Phoenix: ...



Maya: "Habe"? Is that like some sort of accented version of "have"?

Edgeworth: Perhaps he's bit his tongue, as usual.

Maya: Wow, the author thought that far!?

Phoenix: No, I really doubt that.

Franziska: Oh, don't tell me... He's going to be fooled that weak excuse like the foolish fool he is.



Franziska: Hmph.

Speakers: What, I'm in here too? Hey, manager dude. This fic is totally safe for viewing, right? I'm not, like, gonna end up dead or anything... right?

Well, no, not exactly...

...You're totally suspicious, man.



Speakers: ...

...Dude, that is so not cool.

...Ah-hahaha! Oh, so it was this sort of fic. Now, isn't that lovely?

Are you sick or something? How can you just laugh it off!?

Come now. If I let something as ridiculous as this get to me, there's no point in loitering around here. And while you're still here, I suggest you follow my example.

...Tch. Fine. But this still isn't cool.



Maya: Whoa! Guess all your Enguarde are belong to Damon now, am I right?

All: ...

Maya: W-what? Didn't we all expect some kind of Zero Wing joke?

Speakers: It wasn't funny anyway.

Maya: Hmph! You're one to talk!



Speakers: Wouldn't it be amusing to see where this leads...?

Edgeworth: Don't you dare, Gant!

Speakers: ...Man, that's taking it a whole 'nother level of twisted.

Edgeworth: And you don't have the right to talk about being "twisted"!

Phoenix: (Uh-oh, I'm getting that breakdown vibe again...)



Edgeworth: NGOOOOOH!

Speakers: Ho ho! I called it!

Man, that's gotta hurt!

Franziska: ...Interesting choice of pairing.

Phoenix: Well, I'll be. I'm NOT Edgeworth's love interest in this one? Whew.

Maya: It's kinda disappointing, actually.

Phoenix: Maya, please. There are waaaay too many Wrightworth fics out there.

Edgeworth: ... (Ugh... Unbelievable, half of my truth bar, gone in an instant...)



Edgeworth: PLEASE! Just get those images off the screen!

Phoenix, Maya: ...pfft...

Franziska: My, how charming.

Edgeworth: ...I hate all of you right now.



Edgeworth: W-what on earth?

Maya: Wow! Edgeworth's a gangster in this one!

Phoenix: Or a wannabe, at least.

Edgeworth: Wright, I swear... if you make one more demeaning comment about my tastes, I will take that tie and strangle you with it!

Phoenix: Whoa! Okay, sorry! (What's gotten into him...?)

Franziska: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Didn't I ever tell you, Miles, to control your temper?

Edgeworth: Mmh... My apologies. That was uncalled for.

Maya: Wow, as I thought, the fury of Edgeworth sure is intense!



Franziska: ..."fits". That should end with "fits".

Maya: More than one?

Franziska: Well, there's no accompanying singular article, so that alone would solve that particular issue.

Maya: Yeah, but the other half is a different story. It doesn't look like fic-worth is sure what he's saying anymore.

Phoenix: I wouldn't doubt it. He was going on about Oldbag, after all.

Edgeworth: ...



Maya: "The prosecutor's convention"...?

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: Wow, it's like they're all a bunch of superheroes or something.

Franziska: Don't be so foolish, Phoenix Wright. The only kinds of "superheroes" at conventions are those sad excuses who think it fanciful to pretend to be more than they truly are.

Phoenix: ...Wow, that's harsh, even from you.

Franziska: Hmph. A von Karma is perfect, and thus needs no guise of greatness. To be honest, I somewhat pity those naive fools.

Phoenix: (Well, I doubt they'd need your pity or your arrogance...)



Edgeworth: And I suppose this means the end of this chapter?

Speakers: Well, well. You're quite the sharp one, aren't you, Worthy?

Edgeworth: ...

Speakers: Incidentally, this session features a double presentation.

All: What!?

Speakers: So, without further ado, let us proceed to the next chapter!

Franziska: Hmph. The spelling is as atrocious as ever, I see. This author truly means to commit every typographical sin in existence!

Phoenix: Funny, I would have expected-

Franziska: *raises whip* You were saying?

Phoenix: ...that you're as sharp as ever! Hahahaha... Yeow!



Maya: Whoa! Where did fic-worth get a motorcycle!? That's awesome!

Edgeworth: I've never been much of a motorcyclist myself, so I wouldn't know.

Phoenix: Yeah, I wouldn't either...

Franziska: Because you lack any driver's license to speak of.

Phoenix: (Yeah, sure, pick on the defenseless defense attorney, why don't you...)

Maya: Get your motor runnin'... Head out on the highway! Doo do-doo doo...



Edgeworth: ...

Maya: Now that's what I call "hitting the road"!

Phoenix: Literally.

Franziska: And with barely a scratch. I always knew your head was rather thick, Miles.

Edgeworth: ...I wouldn't say "barely a scratch", seeing how my speech was impeded.



Maya: Whoa! With "raging hormones" too!

Phoenix: He sure gets flustered around Oldbag every time.

Edgeworth: You KNOW that's only because she's so difficult to handle!

Speakers: Ho ho hooo! Now that's rich!

Ha! Man, you really know how to dig your own grave.

Edgeworth: W-what!? No! I didn't mean it like that at all!

Franziska: *sigh* You really ought to watch what you say sometimes.

Edgeworth: Urk...



Maya: Woohoo! Oldbag power!

Phoenix: That old lady can really pack a punch, that's for sure.

Franziska: She certainly has the livelihood for battle.

Edgeworth: ...Please, stop already.

Phoenix: Oh, wow, we actually pushed him to the edge...

Maya: You were waiting to say that, weren't you?

Phoenix: Huh? Actually, no... but I'm glad I did.

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: Eh heh... (I wonder how long he'll last before his next breakdown?)



Maya: Heh, this is like grade school crushes all over again.

Franziska: Bah, even grade school children have a better sense of spelling and grammar.

Phoenix: So, uh, no one paying attention to the fact that there's a random note from the author right there?

Edgeworth: Just ignore it. It does everyone good.



Edgeworth: It seems I've even been demoted to a patrol officer...

Maya: But you're not dressed for the part.

Phoenix: Who cares? These onlookers just witnessed a man flying out from his car without a scratch and are taking pictures.

Franziska: It's something worth commemorating, at least.

Edgeworth: Incidentally... is that my car or her car we're supposedly boarding?

Maya: Can't tell. They're kinda smooshed together.

Phoenix: (This is a good reason why I don't drive...)



Phoenix: Damn it! Why couldn't my name stay out of this!?

Maya: Hmm... "Phoenickx" actually doesn't sound too bad for a nickname.

Phoenix: No, it's the worst one imaginable and you aren't going to call me that.

Maya: Oh, come on, Phoenickx! It's not that bad!

Phoenix: ...

Franziska: ...Actually, this image of fic-worth is beginning to remind me of a certain weepy-eyed floundering fool, and it's not exactly pleasant. *yanks whip*

Edgeworth: Oh, good. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought that.



Maya: "And they lived happily ever after."

Phoenix: If that's the next line after this, then it would be a relief.

Edgeworth: You just enjoy mocking me to the very end, don't you?

Phoenix: No, I mean it'd be the end of this chapter.

Edgeworth: ...That is a good point.

Phoenix: ...but I wouldn't mind seeing the two of you end it like that.

Edgeworth: Grr...



Phoenix: It's not over!?

Edgeworth: No, it's only getting worse...

Franziska: Of course it would. Why would you expect otherwise?

Maya: Yes! I totally called it!

Speakers: N-no! Nononono... This is not what I wanted to see!

...On the other hand, any number of things that starts with S can rhyme with "FedEx". Perhaps it's got something to do with "specs"?

Specs!? For what!? I'm not visually impaired!

Settle down. It's just a suggestion... Or do you have something else in mind?

...Er, let's just go with that.



Phoenix: Top...

Edgeworth: Secret...

Franziska: Gadgets!? What foolish folly of a foolish fool is this!?

Maya: Why are the last two words not shouted?

Phoenix: Maya, are you purposely trying to avoid the most ridiculous point?

Maya: That isn't the most ridiculous? I just figured he'd have some sort of gadget thingy on him.

Phoenix: What? Why??

Maya: To avoid the "prosecitor convetion", of course!

All: ...

Maya: ...I guess that one fell short. Drat.



All: !?

Edgeworth: Ugh! (That's another blow to my truth bar...)

Speakers: S-stop it, man! This is way too weird, okay!?

..."Gnat", is it? Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long to come to that.

Phoenix: THAT'S what you choose to pick out!?



Phoenix: Yes, exactly!

Franziska: Minus the error with "does", but yes, I'm in agreement!

Phoenix: (...Even now, Franziska?)



All: ...

Edgeworth: *bar explodes* (S-somehow... I'm still hanging on... just barely.)

Maya: Um... Hey, even these guys know how to break the fourth wall!

Phoenix: I-it's fine, Maya. You don't need to force it.

Maya: You sure? Mr. Edgeworth looks like he's about to faint.

Phoenix: ...He'll recover. This isn't the worst he's taken.

Maya: Um, how about Ms. von Karma?

Franziska: ...Even if it really is supposed to be "marred", it still doesn't make any sense whatsoever! Th-this... is outright embarrassing!

Phoenix: Oh, she's fine. Oww!

*crackity-crack*

Phoenix: Owowowow! I'm sorryyy!

Franziska: If I have to deal with this agony from such absurdities, then so will you!

Phoenix: W-w-wait! Waiwaiwait! Oww! Aaaugh...