BRIDGE!


Chapter 1: Water under the BRIDGE!


According to Bridge for Dummies, Bridge was considered the best card game in the world.
This was written on the very first line in the book which meant no doubt that it HAD to be true.
However if Phoenix had bothered to read further down the page he would have found that that opinion was rather biased.
After putting down the book he left the bookstore and went home and the following day he crawled out of bed and went to work.
At court a fierce battle between prosecution and defence broke out but as always the defence won.
“Oh thank you so much Mr Wright!” squealed his client when the trial finished.
“I cant thank you enough”
Phoenix scratched the back of his head sheepishly.
“Well you know it’s my job”
His client nodded like a happy puppy before she remembered something.
“Oh! I know here have this!”
His client riffled through her handbag and produced a coupon.
“It’s a free lesson for a card game of your choice” she piped while handing it over to Phoenix.
“Errr thanks” replied the lawyer, slightly irritated that she decided on paying him in coupons instead of the more common method of paying money.

Phoenix went home that night and fully inspected the coupon.
There was a list of card games printed on the card and beside every game was a phone number.
Phoenix wandered down the list , he knew how to play every game on it except for two, Five card poker and Bridge.
Phoenix was just about to pick up the phone and call the five card poker number before he remembered something.
‘Bridge is the best card game in the world’ and that tipped the scales.
Phoenix tapped in the numbers for the bridge game and waited.
Soon a woman answered on the other end.
“Hello LA community centre how may I help?”
“Uh, Hi my name is Phoenix Wright and I have a coupon here for a free lesson in Bridge”
“Oh yes well the lesson will be conducted at eight o’clock tomorrow you will need to bring three more people since you need four to play the lesson will last about five hours the directions to thecenter is on the back of the coupon”
“Okay thanks” said Phoenix.
“Bye” said the woman and hung up.
Phoenix hung up on his end and asked himself who was he going to invite.

“I still insist that you should have chosen Five Hand Poker Wright” Commented Miles Edgeworth whilst he sat down on the hard plastic chair.
“Anyway who else did you invite?” he asked whilst inspecting the room.
The prosecutor and the defence attorney were sitting at one of seven collapsible tables.
At the other tables sat groups of four , the members of each group happily chatting to the other members of their group.
“Maya”
“Naturally”
“And Larry”
“Oh god Wright”
Phoenix nodded to Miles’ grimace.
“I know Miles but Larry is pretty good fun”
Miles rolled his eyes.
“Whatever you say Wright. Speaking of which why aren’t they here?”
“Maya had to get the train from Kurain and it takes about a year for Larry to get ready for things like this”
“Ah I see”
The two sat in silence for a while until Miles finally asked the question he had been itching to ask for hours.
“Wright?”
“mmmm?”
“Why Bridge?”
“Well it sounds interesting also Bridge for dummies said that it was the best game in the world”
Miles raised an eyebrow.
“Well we now know why they call it ‘for dummies’”
“What is that supposed to mean!?”
“Wright Bridge is a terrible game!!” snapped the prosecutor.
“You cant say that!” retorted the attorney.
“I can say that! It is the most boring and most dragged out game ever invented that’s why only old people play it so they have something to do to pass the time before they die!”
“Well--I--Ohhh you unimaginable Bastard! Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”
“I was caught off guard! I mean it isn’t every day your asked to do something like this”
“Oh yes I forgot you’ve only been introduced to normal everyday life yesterday”
“Oh well ha bloody ha Wright but I’ll have you know it took a lot of guts to go out tonight especially with my condition, I have just found out my father was killed by my mentor last year you know”
“As if I could forget”
“Yes well lets just see you don’t”
The two sat in silence again.
“Miles?”
“Yes?”
“Are you still torn about that trial?”
“No Wright, I just wanted to guilt trip you” A smile started to crack at the prosecutors lips before he started chuckling.
Phoenix gave him an outraged and angered look.
“You prick Miles Edgeworth!”
But Miles had indeed gotten Phoenix good and there was no way he could retort to that.

A few minutes Maya and Larry finally arrived.
Maya regaled them with the story of how she beat the crap out of some creep after he tried to feel her up and Larry told them about the quarter he found the other day.
“Well it sounds like you both had a very interesting day” remarked Miles, straining the interesting.
“Oh look” said Larry craning his head to get a good look “That must be out teacher!”
Miles turned around to see if he recognised the teacher, He did and quickly turned back.
“Oh my god Wright it’s her” Mumbled the prosecutor to his friend.
“Who?-Oh shit!” exclaimed the attorney for their teacher for the next few hours was Wendy Oldbag.

Chapter 2: Burning BRIDGE!s



It was their worst nightmare come true, stuck in a room with Wendy Oldbag.
“Wright hide me!”
“Are you mad!? I cant hide you we need four people!………and if your leaving I’m leaving too!”
The two quietly bickered while Wendy walked up to a blackboard at the back of the room and started writing.
“Nick! Miles! For god sake!” scolded Maya “You have to get through with this it’s only five hours and if you keep your head down then she might never notice either of you!”
“Maya she is obsessed with me!” screamed Miles through his teeth.
“Ah hem!?”
Miles, Phoenix ,Maya and Larry all whipped around.
Everyone in the room was staring at them.
“Is there a problem?” asked Wendy, Looking positively beside herself with anger for not having total attention.
“No there is no problem” replied Maya monotonously.
Wendy glared at her and inspected the rest of the group.
Her nose wrinkled at Larry she gave Phoenix a despising look and she smiled like a love struck teenager at Miles.
“well if you are all ready to learn I suggest paying attention!”

The class proceeded with Wendy explaining total gibberish.
No matter how hard they tried nobody could understand the increasingly complex stupid and plain pointless rules of the game.
It wasn’t until Wendy started to pass out decks of cards that the two lawyers, spirit medium and womaniser finally started to worry, not one of them had the slightest clue of how to play the game.
The four put their heads together and tried to make sense of everything.
“Okay okay we just have to bluff it until the end of this class” said Phoenix “We just need to pretend to know what we are doing”
“Well that’s great Wright but we don’t know how to make it look like we know what we are doing!!!” Groaned Miles.
Then a deck of cards dropped down on the table and they all looked up.
“Well let me see you all play” smiled Wendy, somehow she knew they were lost.
“Emmmm sure” said Miles, taking over because he was the only one she liked “Wright will you shuffle?” he asked, since shuffling cards was the only thing every card game had in common he thought.
“Err sure” said Phoenix, gingerly picking up the deck and making a feeble attempt at shuffling.
Wendy smiled at his discomfort and incompetence in card shuffling.
“You boy you are useless you switch out and let me play you obviously cant shuffle cards!”
“Woah wait you cant do that and I can shuffle cards………..sort of”
“Evidently not. Have you ever played cards before?”
“No I have never played Bridge before”
“Not bridge you fool I was talking about cards in general!”
“What!? Of course I have I’m really good at Texas Hold Em”
Larry chuckled “Yeah, Nick here won his house in a game of poker”
Everyone at the table laughed except Wendy.
“A VERY lucky game of Poker” she commented snidely.
‘YOU DUSTY OLD WHORE!!!!’ screamed Phoenix internally but she had already left the table so he couldn’t give her a piece of his mind , she may have been evil but she was smart.
“Nick let it go just deal the cards” soothed Maya.
Phoenix obeyed still fuming.

Soon enough the four were starting to get a vague hang of the game, even though everyone else was doing way better they were proud of their achievement even if it wasn’t really an achievement.
Wendy occasionally walked past their table and commented on how badly they were doing but nobody cared they were having too much of a good time to care.
The four were constantly screwing up the game and pissing off Wendy and the others around them which created an endless source of comedy for them.
Then Wendy made one of her routine stops at their table.
The atmosphere at the table dropped as they were once again forced to be serious.
“Okay Nick you start” said Maya, his partner in this match.
“Okay then ehhhhh” Phoenix looked through his hand, he had an ace of spades and a two of spades.
He put down the ace.
Wendy tutted.
“Do you have a better idea?” snapped Phoenix.
Wendy didn’t respond , Knowing she had pissed off Phoenix was enough.
Miles was next, He put down a five of diamonds.
Wendy tutted again, Miles ignored her.
“They’re a present for you Maya because”
“DIAMONDS ARE A GIRLS BEST FRIEND” sang the group collectively, bursting into laughter at how much in sync they were when it came to humour.
Wendy scowled.
“Well Mr Edgeworth thank you for the gift and Larry here have a spade”
Maya put down the five of spades.
Larry put down a card at random since he knew he had lost anyway since Phoenix had played the ace and nobody could top the ace.
“Ah ah aaa” tutted Wendy and took the card Larry had played and put it back in his hand.
“Play your trump card”
“My what?”
“Your trump card dear”
Larry gave her a blank stare.
“Oh for gods sake this card!”
Wendy took the two of hearts out of Larry’s hand and slammed it down on the table.
“That means your partnership wins because two is the highest”
“Woah wait!” spluttered Phoenix “The ace is the highest card in the deck!”
“No it isn’t the two is”
“Fine then” Phoenix put down his two of diamonds ,and the other three resisted the urge to start singing.
“Now me and Maya win!”
“No you don’t” quipped Wendy “It isn’t the trump card!"
“What the hell is a trump card!?” exploded Phoenix.
“The two of hearts”
“What why is it the trump card!?”
“It was decided at the beginning of this game”
“WHEN WAS IT DECIDED!?!?!?!”
Wendy’s evil smirk widened and Phoenix resisted the urge to kill everyone in the room.

Chapter 3: BRIDGE! To my heart.




Wendy explained to Phoenix how trump cards were decided just after the first card was put down, however despite her explanations Phoenix couldn’t understand what the hell she was talking about and eventually ignored her, joining in the very violent game of footsie that was going on under the table.
Eventually Wendy went away when Phoenix lied to her about understanding the bullshit that she just came out with.
The four reluctantly went back to playing the game.

Soon Phoenix was really starting to get into it, as was the others but the general silliness that they had become infamous in the room from still prevailed.
Phoenix was then dealt the best hand he had received all day, three aces and a lot of kings and queens.
He looked at Maya and asked her if she had an ace using the sign language they had developed over the past few hours.
Maya responded informing him that she did indeed have the ace and an awful lot of high cards.
Phoenix grinned, there was no possible way he and Maya could loose this round.
The game began and Phoenix made a killing.
The both of them beat Miles and Larry eleven rounds to two.
Phoenix gloated at the prosecutor who honestly couldn’t give a shit what happened to him in this place.
“Looks like I beat your fat ass Miles!”
Miles snorted while smiling but before he could retort and point out that at least he could afford to eat food Wendy popped out of nowhere, demon eyed at the insult hurled at Miles.
“what happened in this game!?”
“Me and Maya won eleven to two”
Wendy glared at the cards that were facing up which indicated a victory.
“Who was leading the match?” she asked Maya, Referring to the person who first dealt the cards.
“Nick did” responded Maya, resisting the urge to stick her middle finger up at her.
Wendy tutted, obviously finding a fault in Phoenix’s playing, which in turn caused Phoenix to restrain his sudden burst of anger.
“You Mr Wright are a terrible partner to have in Bridge.” Phoenix would have hit her but since it was bridge he didn’t really care.
“You are erratic and you never plan your next move also your communication skills with your partner leaves a lot to be desired”
Phoenix sniffed “Indeed”
“I will show you how to play this game the RIGHT way Mr Wright”
Wendy took his deck and ordered the rest to take up theirs and play the round again.
Phoenix laid back in the chair and broadly watched as Wendy played the same cards as he did.
In the end it was perhaps no surprise that it was still Eleven to Two.
Phoenix chuckled and Wendy glared.
“Play!” she screamed through gritted teeth and threw the cards at Phoenix.

“BRIDGE!” shouted Maya as she won that round.
The occupants of the table laughed as she did it again.
It was a joke that she came up with when every round you win you shout bridge, it was funny because it pissed all in sundry off.
Wendy came over to the table and observed the new game that they were playing.
Miles started with a ten of spades.
Maya played a three of diamonds, not forgetting to break into song of course.
Larry played a four and Phoenix played a jack.
“BRIDGE!” shouted Phoenix in triumph.
“No you don’t say bridge when you win..”
“BRIDGE!”
“Stop saying bridge!!”
“BRIDGE!”
Wendy left the table again in a fit, they really were starting to get to her.


“I play the ace of spades”
“BRIDGE!”
Everyone at the table laughed at the joke that had been going on for ages was repeated again.
“Shhhhhh!” Everyone turned around and saw Wendy at the other side of the room glaring at them with her finger over her lips.
Phoenix squinted at her and before he knew what he was doing he had already done it.
He stood up and presented the vile woman with his middle finger.
“UP YOURS BITCH!”
And then he stormed out of the room in a dramatic fashion.
The entire room was left in silence however Maya felt something in the pit of her stomach that she had to let out, something that was so perfect for this moment that she would regret it for the rest of her life if she did not say it.
Then she opened her mouth and inhaled as much air as she could then at the top of her lungs she shouted.
“BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!”
Everyone laughed and Wendy screamed.

To Phoenix
congratulations on passing the bar
Love always
Mia

When he seen the case he was over the moon
it was perfect in every way
its sides was made of black metal and the rim of the case was pure chrome
The handle stainless steel ergonomicly fitted to suit his hand perfectly
the inside was lined with expensive fabric and always had a fresh smell every time he opened it
even that time his forgotten half eaten sandwich started to rot
Mia had truly pulled out all of the stops

so many memories with that case
good memories
sad memories
and in between memories

that case carried everything
files
papers
clothes
it carried his life

with that case in his hand he felt he could do anything
and with that cas-----

"PHOENIX!!"
"huh wah im up im up!!"
Mia glared at him and dropped a stack of papers on his desk
"Stop daydreaming and file these away properly!!"
Phoenix groaned and glanced at his case
"some day my lovely some day"

Dinner with Manfred







“Miles Edgeworth” said a curt and condescending voice through the telephone.
Miles nearly dropped the receiver as his blood ran cold at the voice of Manfred Von Karma.
“V-Von Karma” stated Miles dumbly.
“I hope” said Manfred “that you haven’t forgotten dinner tonight”
“of course I haven’t” replied Miles rather to quickly.
On the other Manfred restrained a chuckle.
“Also Miles, Cheri cant make it tonight one of her dogs was hit by a car so if you wish to bring a companion…..” Manfred trailed off.
The snide bastard was hinting at Miles’ total lack of friends.
“I-I I’ll see what I can do” replied Miles coldly while gripping the receiver so hard it started to crack.
“Well then eight o’clock tonight I will see you there”
Manfred hung up.
“Bastard!” exclaimed Edgeworth to his quite empty office.
“Who the hell do I bring!?”
Edgeworth racked his mind for anyone he even had the slightest hint of comradeship with.
He first thought of Gumshoe but then dumped the thought.
Then Larry but got rid of that even faster..
The only person left was the one man who would never go.
“Wright” muttered Edgeworth.
They had been going out for a quarter of a year now so it was only natural for Miles to invite him.
But would Wright want to go and meet the man who had made his life a living hell even if they had only met for three days in a row?
Turning up no alternative option Miles gingerly reached for the telephone.
He tapped the numbers that would call Phoenix.
After a few soulless mechanical dial tones Wright picked up.
“hello?”
“Wright” said Edgeworth dryly.
“err I have a favour to ask”
“Yeah?” said Phoenix expectantly.
“err well” began Miles awkwardly “I have a dinner date tonight and I have to bring someone a-and well I wanted to bring you”
“oh really? That sounds great where is it?”
Miles looked away as if Phoenix could actually see him.
“well that’s the thing it’s in Von Karma manor”
There was silence on the other end for a while.
“oh” said Phoenix finally.
“l-look I’ll understand if you don’t want to go!--”
“No Miles! I want to go”
The determination behind Phoenix’s words knocked the wind out of Miles.
“Will you pick me up?” asked Phoenix after a few seconds of silence.
“y-yeah I will”
“Thanks”
“Bye”
“Bye”
They hung up.

The suffocating silence was broken by the large wooden door being opened.
Miles sighed as light flooded out and brought the promise of a thoroughly shitty night.
Miles shot a glance at Phoenix.
“are you sure?” he asked quietly.
Phoenix gave him a look that answered his question.
The pair were then led inside by a butler into a carnivorous great hall.
Standing on a balcony above their heads was Manfred Von Karma.
“You came” he said curtly, his voice magnified by the hall.
“We did” replied Miles emotionlessly.
“I trust you have already met Phoenix Wright?”
Manfred nodded and glared at the defence attorney.
“I have indeed” he paused and turned around “in any case I will see you both at dinner which will be served in exactly ten minutes”

Now you may be wondering how this dinner plan came to be well it happened like this.
Three years after his incarceration Manfred was allowed to be put under house arrest because of his former position and his good behavior in prison.
Ever since then he has insisted that Miles go to dinner bimonthly.
Miles for some reason felt that he must go.
Maybe it was because he wanted to represent his father or maybe it was to show defiance to the Von Karma name.
Whatever the reason Miles went every time.
He had never told Phoenix about it.
Now where were we? Ah yes the dinner well……

Phoenix and Miles sat down beside each other at the unnecessarily long mahogany table.
Across from them sat Franziska, minus the whip.
She had her arms folded and an expression that read ‘I’m thinking of all the things I’d rather be doing’ adorned her face.
At the head of the table sat a smiling Manfred.
“well isn’t this nice?” he said semi-sarcastically.
Franziska turned away and rolled her eyes.
Miles cleared his throat.
Manfred narrowed his eyes.
“oh for Christ sake lighten up all of you!”

Somehow during the main course a conversation had been created between Miles Phoenix and Manfred.
Although it sounds benign it really wasn’t.
You see the conversation was about their relationship and was dangerously close to coming into contact with a sensitive area.
You see Miles had never bothered to tell Manfred about his true feelings for Phoenix.
And now they were dangerously close to the subject and Manfred already suspected something.
“And that is why I decided to bring Wright with me today” said Miles nervously.
Franziska looked at the two lawyers with great amusement.
“oh really little brother? I could have sworn that there was something more”
Phoenix swallowed and Miles tried to kick her under the table but couldn’t reach (accursed table).
Manfred looked suspiciously at the pair then to Franziska.
“What are you talking about?”
Franziska smirked at the pleading expressions of the two attorneys across from her.
“well papa!” she said loudly “I was under the impression that little brother and Phoenix Wright are an ’item’”
Miles slapped his face and Phoenix tried to crawl under the table.
“Well I’ve overstayed my visit” said Franziska happily getting up from the table “I will be seeing you all at a later time until then good bye!”
And then she walked out the stuck up bitch.
“I-is this true!?” shouted Manfred.
Miles looked away ashamed.
“y-yes it is”
Manfred scowled but said nothing only returning to his food.

As what happened every time after dinner Von Karma invited all of his guests into the drawing room to continue whatever conversations they had had during dinner.
Of course the only conversation they had over that lovely meal was the one concerning Miles and Phoenix’s relationship.
As Manfred sat across from the two in an impressive winged armchair whilst smoking a cigar the two could do nothing but feel intimidated.
Miles’ eyes flitted around the room trying desperately to find a distraction.
Manfred’s gaze pierced right through the prosecutor as he stood up unexpectedly and announced that he needed to go to the bathroom.
Phoenix nearly screamed at his other half as he walked out on him and left him to fend for himself.
When Miles left the room Manfred finally spoke.
“How long has it been going on?”
“huh?!”
“your ’relationship’!” spat the older one “How long?”
“uh about three months?”
Manfred nodded while exhaling smoke through his nostrils.
“I see”
Silence settled.
“I don’t like you Mr Wright”
Phoenix raised an eyebrow.
“you were the one that destroyed my perfect record foiled both of my revenge plans nearly got me killed and had me locked up in this hell hole!”
“and?” asked Phoenix “you deserved all of those things”
Manfred scowled but did not retaliate.
“that is your own opinion Mr Wright but as I was saying I don’t like you and I don’t like Miles Edgeworth either so I will do anything in my power to destroy you!”
“uh huh” said Phoenix “well I shouldn’t have to worry to much about that since you have virtually no power any more”
Manfred stood up abruptly, whilst tossing his cigar into an ashtray nearby.
“Mr Wright!” Manfred came closer whilst reaching into one of his trouser pockets.
Phoenix braced himself for the worst but then something weird happened.
Manfred pulled out his wallet and handed Phoenix a ten.
“buy condoms best to be safe and all of that”
Manfred put his wallet away and went back to sitting quietly.

Later on that night the two lawyers were in bed.
Phoenix was on the top and making quick work of Edgeworth’s pants.
Miles panted below the defence attorney as the man then slid off his body and reached for his blue trousers.
Phoenix pulled out a box of ribbed condoms.
He tore off the plastic and opened the box.
He took out one of the dreadful penis-balloons and fastened it around his cock.
However as soon as he did an image popped into his head.
“Buy condoms best to be safe and all of that”
Phoenix’s erection instantly died.

“And then when I lost my attorney’s badge I never felt the same way about law again” said Phoenix while looking off into the distance.
“yes but what I don’t understand is now that everything has been settled why don’t you go back!?” asked Apollo who was getting pissed off at the hobo.
“oh Apollo if only you knew” sighed Phoenix.
The two men were sitting on a bench beside a lake.
“what the hell are you talking about I know everything your just a lazy ass that cant be fucked to get a job because I’m the main money maker in this family!”
Phoenix chuckled.
“oh Apollo I was once just like you …..full of flare and optimism” He sighed a sigh that made the mood become more depressing.
“but it’s all gone now thanks to a certain prosecutor”
The two men sat in silence for what felt like an hour.
“I used to look up to you, you know?”
Phoenix didn’t respond.
“I seen some of your trials and every time I looked at a case you handled I was blown away by how talented you were”
“I was talented wasn’t I?” mused Phoenix.
“y-you were what I wanted to be absolutely everything I envied you so much”
Tears welled up in Apollo’s eyes.
“I-I wanted to be like you so much that I practically devoted my entire life to law a-and then I find out you’ve become some lame ass hobo! And I nearly have a firkin mental breakdown!”
Phoenix showed no sign of emotion at that point.
“I didn’t know you admired me so much”
“admired!? Ad-fucking-mired!? I FUCKIN LOVED YOU!!!”
Phoenix smiled.
“Apollo you cant change the past nor can you control the future you can only live in the present”
Apollo looked like he wanted to scream, instead he pushed his emotions aside and flopped back onto the bench.
He stared straight ahead and at the sunset.
“I hate you Mr Wright”
Phoenix smiled and rested his head on his protégée’s shoulder.
“I know you do”

“MILES EDGEWORTH!!!”
“yes Franziska dearest?”
“WHAT DOES ‘IDK’ MEAN!!!?”
“I don’t know”
“BLASTED FOOL NOBODY BLOODY KNOWS!!!”
Franziska threw her cell phone out of Miles’ office window and stormed out of his office, leaving a thoroughly confused Miles behind.
She raged and stormed through the building searching for an answer to the ‘IDK’ mystery.
Earlier she had received a text message from Gumshoe with the abbreviation in it and frankly she was getting sick of the whole internet speak.
LOL ASAP BRB ROFL RP R&R BOBFOC CU2NITE what the hell did they all mean!?
Franziska was on the verge of murder before a ray of hope shone down from above in the form of Detective Gumshoe.
“SCRUFFY!!!!!!”
Her voice was magnified a thousand times in the large entrance lobby of the prosecutors office, and it also frightened the shit out of everyone.
“SCRUFFY MC TRENCHCOAT!!!!”
She strode over to the man like a woman possessed.
“Scruffy you wrote that text message what does IDK mean!!!?”
Her voice was low and dangerous, she was ready to kill on a seconds notice.
“IDK?”
“yes IDK what does it mean!!!?”
“uh I don’t know”

Ten years later a red stain on the ground would still mark the horrifying incident

Oh my suicide


The wind whispered a strange language in his ear.
The biting cold went unnoticed, since his inner furnace was heated by a never ending supply of despair and hatred.
His grey hair fluttered in the wind.
All of the preparations had been made.
Miles Edgeworth reached into his jacket and pulled out a box of cigarettes and a flask of scotch.
He completely drained the flask in one go, feeling the liquid burn his throat.
He chucked the expensive flask over the edge.
He smiled a little when he realised that he didn’t care about what would happen to it.
He didn’t care anymore nothing mattered to him except the completion of this final task.
The sun was setting, it looked like a giant delicious orange segment.
He walked to the edge and looked down.
100 floors he had to pass before his eternal peace.
“thank god it’s all over” he whispered.
Miles opened the box of cigarettes and pulled out the lighter and one of the sin sticks contained within.
“oh precious cigarettes you have always stood with me on my worthless journey on this dead end planet, I thank you deeply”
He lit up his final cigarette and inhaled on it, he savoured the taste and the pleasure of the toxic gas as it slowly hacked away at his lungs.
Miles outstretched his arms, taking one final drag he leaned forward and let gravity do the rest.

One hour later when they would be peeling Miles Edgeworth off the pavement they would notice the note
“Miles Edgeworth chooses death” selotaped to his chest and the broad grin on his face.

It was starting to show.
The bump was getting bigger and soon all the imperfect fools would know.
How did such an imperfect breakage of the laws of biology occur? Manfred Von Karma didn’t know.
All he did know was that he was pregnant.

He was not one of those imperfect people who went and had an abortion, although in his weaker hours the thought had crossed his mind.
Neither was he one of those people who insisted on taking maternity leave.
He didn’t even think he could take it if he wanted to because Prosecutors office policy expressly said ‘Women could take maternity leave whenever they feel they need it’
Manfred Von karma was a man last time he checked which is what made this so confusing.
Men aren’t supposed to have babies.

When the bump had started to show he thought he was simply putting on weight.
However then the morning sickness began followed by the erratic urges, once he had called Damon Gant for the sole purpose of a chat.
Indeed things started to get weird and imperfect but he didn’t expect pregnancy then.
It wasn’t until during a health check up when he told his doctor his symptoms that the doctor scheduled for an ultrasound.
Then the unthinkable happened.
“M-Mr V-Von Karma! Y-your pregnant!”
“Pregnant!?” he roared, shaking the entire clinic to it’s foundations.
He tried to deny it but the evidence was there.
There was no way he could manipulate this evidence he was pregnant.

Manfred had a plan of course as any perfect prosecutor would.
He would purchase clothes that would get baggier and bigger as time went on in order to mask the imperfection.
It was fool proof of course nobody would notice and if someone would ask him about his clothes he would just respond with saying “Trying something new that’s all”
Often he would chuckle to himself at how brilliant he was for devising such a perfect plan and having such a perfect biological structure that he had the ability to conceive.

A good few months later the bump was huge, what was he having a whole fucking family!?
Needless to say his back came under great strain he would be often seen in court with his left hand on his back and his right leaning on a cane for support.
The clothes that he had purchased were big and ruffled and did the job perfectly but allowed very little ventilation so when it came into summer he was in a spot of bother, often defence attorneys thought they were winning when he started sweating.

Then one day the unthinkable happened.
Manfred was nine months into his pregnancy, any day now his water would burst.
He was in the middle of a trial.
Damon stood at the witness stand happily clapping his hands and reminiscing about swimming dates and the judge gazed longingly out the skylight.
“Anyway as I was saying” said Damon getting back to his testimony “the defendant there hit the victim across the head with the cinderblock”
The nameless defence attorney gulped.
“Very good detective from your testimony alone we have established guilt”
Damon clapped his hands together “brilliant Manny well then I suppose my work here is done hmmm?”
Manfred nodded.
“yes detective you can--!?”
A splashing sound interrupted the veteran prosecutor.
“oh shit” he muttered.
Manfred looked down at his pants.
He was wet his water had finally burst.
“Is there something wrong Mr Von Karma?” asked the judge, eyeing the wet stain on the prosecutors pants suspiciously.
“err yes judge there is uh be a good man and call an ambulance!”
Manfred started to waddle out of the court.
“But Mr Von Karma why!?”
“BECAUSE I’M GOING INTO LABOUR YOU MORON!”
The people in the public roared with laughter.
Manfred swore to himself that when this child came out he would make it his duty to make it’s life a living hell.

“Manny…….Manny!”
Manfred’s eyes shot open.
“ungh wha!?”
Damon and the judge were standing over him.
He was in a small maternity ward.
“what happened?” asked Manfred, a little dizzy for some reason.
The judge and Damon exchanged worried looks.
“well there’s good news and bad news” began Damon “the good news is that you’ve had a girl”
Manfred nodded.
“and the bad news?”
“well she’s sort of blown your cock out”
Manfred raised his hands to his face in order to block out the light.
He wouldn’t scream like he wanted to no he would stay calm and perfect.
After a very long terse silence the judge finally spoke.
“err what are you going to call her?”
Manfred thought for a few minutes.
“Franziska” he finally said, feeling a strange sensation of light heartedness at the words.

His daughter may have coasted him his genitals but she would make up for it by being perfect in every way.

WELL TONIGHT PHOENIX I AM GOING TO DROP A BOMBSHELL


She clutched the card tightly, accidentally bending it.
She looked up, the lights were still on in his apartment and a song was blaring out the window.
She opened the door and climbed the concrete staircase until she reached apartment #12.
Her grip tightens on the card, totally bending it in half.
“stay strong its just him nothing to be afraid of”
But there was something to be afraid of, what if he rejected her? What if he didn’t recognise or remember the card?
And most of all what if he still resented her?
“n-no he isn’t that much of a fool”
Her foolish thoughts had nearly gotten the best of her.

Raising a gloved hand she rapped on the door.
A few seconds the door opened to reveal Phoenix Wright, usual spiky hair but he was wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of black jeans.
When he seen her he reflexively flinched and backed away.
It hurt her deep down that he would do such a thing in her presence.
“Phoenix Wright”
“uh Franziska how how uh what brings you here?”
“I have come to give you something……may I come in?”
Phoenix was astounded, her icy tone was gone and she was asking to come into his house (like a normal person no less).
“uh yeah sure come on in”
He stood aside to let Franziska in, cautiously taking a look outside to see if this was all a set up.

“err you have to excuse the mess I uh wasn’t expecting visitors”
He expected her to make some comment about the state of the room but none came.
“err would you like me to get you something?”
Franziska turned around to face him, she looked nervous.
“no I would not like anything in fact I wont be here for long”
“oh!?”
“yes I just came to uh give you something”
Phoenix smiled.
“a present eh?”
Franziska offered a nervous smile.
“not quite Phoenix”
That caught him off guard, the use of only his first name and not his full name.
“err well then what is it?”
Franziska hesitated, she looked so exposed like the little girl she once was.
“do you remember Phoenix last year Miss Fey was kidnapped?”
Phoenix blanched, he was trying to move on from that event.
“err yes I do why?”
“well uh when Maya came back there was some talk about a fourth piece of evidence”
Phoenix frowned, he did remember the fourth piece but he had never seen it.
“uh but I thought that the fourth piece didn’t exist”
Franziska shook her head.
“it exists Phoenix”
Franziska outstretched her arm and handed him a folded card.
Phoenix unfolded it and looked at the crude drawing.
“Maya” he whispered softly.
“she obviously loves you very much” the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.
“I-I-I didn’t know” Phoenix looked up.
“Franziska I……thank you”
Franziska smiled.
“well I would love to stay and chat but I must be off”
“no wait stay!”
“no I cant!”
Franziska brushed past Phoenix and made a beeline for the door.
“Franziska wait!”
She didn’t respond.

Once again back in the reassuring darkness of her car Franziska finally realised her mistake.
“stupid stupid stupid!” she rested her head on the steering wheel, trying her hardest to not cry.
She suddenly realised that any chance she had with Phoenix Wright may have been destroyed.
She continued to rest her head on the steering wheel, letting the full weight of what she had done hit her.

Rain had started to pour before she decided to go home.
She put the key in the ignition of her German car.
Then just before she she turned the key there was a knock on the window.
The raindrops obscured the face of the person but the voice was unmistakable.
“Franziska its me”
“Phoenix” she whispered breathlessly.
Franziska opened the door to her car letting a rain soaked Phoenix Wright look in.
“Franziska I uh I”
Phoenix was lost for words, normally she would have had a field day on such an occasion but now she wanted desperately for him to finish his sentence.
“yes Phoenix?”
“Franziska I just want to thank you………really”
Phoenix just stood there, not knowing what to do.
“and?” beckoned Franziska.
Phoenix winced, he really really didn’t know what to do.
“I-I uh look Franziska I really like you and all”
“but?”
Phoenix looked away.
“is there a ‘but’ Franziska?”
Franziska didn’t respond.
“I meant it when I said I really like you”
Phoenix smiled one of his beautiful smiles, which Franziska returned.
“good night Phoenix”
“good night Franziska”

Somehow she had just gotten what she really wanted

FASHION SHOW



He held the expensive camera in both hands unable to direct it away from the scene above.
Occasionally his camera flashed, adding to the dazzle of the mini-sun that was being generated from all of the other cameras.
“up next we have Miles Edgeworth with VK Autumn range”
He didn’t believe it but there he was Miles Edgeworth striding down the catwalk in his usual attire.

Miles reached the edge of the catwalk and froze letting the light of the cameras wash over him.
He put his hand on his hip and gave a ‘im-to-busy-for-this-shit’ look.
The crowds went mad with his dazzling beauty, feverishly taking photos as if their lived depended on it.
Finally deciding that he had enough, when he very well could have stood there for the whole night and the hype would STILL be at the same level, he twirled around gracefully and started walking back.

“and now we have Maya Fey modelling the ‘spiritual’ winter wear line”
There she was Maya Fey decked out in a big fur coat, that fitted her perfectly.
She fixed Miles a glare, which he returned.
The two models passed each other.
And as if it were in slow motion Miles stuck out his arm and elbowed Maya in the side.
The spirit medium was caught unawares and toppled over, a flash of pain turning into fury.
“HOW DARE YOU!!”
She tore off her high heel and clobbered Miles with it.
Miles retaliated by tearing off his cravat and wrapping it around her neck.

If the people holding the cameras were excited before this was the best day of their lives.
All hell broke loose, cameras flashed and clicked illuminating the entire room.
The two models cat fought oblivious to the scene they were making.
“stellotes at dawn!” some smart ass called out.
The madness continued until security dragged the two away from each other.
Even as they were being dragged away the two still clawed and grabbed at the other, whilst desperately trying to escape the grasp of the security guards and beat the living crap out of their vulnerable opponent.

And then Miles broke free of the strong men that dragged him away from Maya.
He ran over to the woman raised his hand and brought it down on her.
Just as it collided with her head Phoenix woke up with a jolt.

“And I say Pink Princess is better!!!”
“nooo steel Samurai!!!!!”
“Princess!”
“samurai!!”
“princess!”
“samurai!”
Phoenix groaned at the voices of Miles and Maya coming from the room next door.
“that’s it” he said to himself “im never going on holiday again

“Come on Kris!!” called his younger brother “The water is warm!”
“Coming!” he shouted back happily.
Thirteen year old Kristoph Gavan ran after his little brother and into the lake.
They splashed around happily in the water laughing and having the greatest fun of their lives.
The sky was a deep blue colour with nary a cloud to blemish it.
A tall navy mountain stood at one end of the gargantuan lake and being the two brothers was a grassy plain that stretched as far as the eye could see.
The two boys splashed water at each other and progressively went further and further into the lake, blinded by their fun to the dangers of the lake.
They were now waist deep in the water, the mud at the bottom covered their feet and sucked them down.
It was then that Kristoph began to feel uneasy.
“Heay lets go swim Kris!” announced his little brother.
Kristoph was stuck for an answer. Since he was the one with most of the brains the Gavin parents encouraged him be more academic than sporty whereas Klavier on the other hand got swimming lessons, cycling lessons and Archery lessons.
“I-I don’t know how to swim” announced Kristoph waveringly.
“It’s EASY!” insisted Klavier.
Just keep kicking your legs and keep pushing water away with your hands as if you were trying to get it out of your way.
“I-I don’t know” Said Kristoph, worriedly since stories of drowning always scared him.
“Bock Bock Bock CHICKEN!”
“Am not!”
“Prove it, Chicken!” and with that Klavier dived under water and started for the other end of the lake.
Kristoph’s blood started to boil, if there was one thing he hated above all else it was being outdone by Klavier.
Kristoph then threw himself at the water and started flailing his legs, he had seen the Olympics and had gathered the basics of swimming from it.
He threw his arms forward and in a wide sweeping arc drew them back again, He was slightly surprised at the amount of energy that consumed but also at the distance he managed to propel himself, it was tiny, he would never beat Klavier at this rate.
However he stubbornly kept on moving through the water becoming increasingly worn out as the seconds dragged on.
Eventually he found himself far from the safety of the shallow water and it was then that a sense of panic struck him, he had left the shallow water and now he was in the deep with little energy and little knowledge of how to swim.
Suddenly something slippy slid along his body, it was seaweed, he panicked and started to flail in the water.
“HELP!” screamed the young blonde, but he couldn’t see Klavier anywhere.
His legs stopped kicking for a brief moment and that was enough to make him go underwater.
Kristoph furiously kicked his legs, expending his energy, and his mouth rose above the water to take in a gasp of air before going back under again.
Kristoph reached out at something that wasn’t there but he sank like a stone.
He tried to kick but he was too weak and he was sinking too fast.
He sank further and further away from the surface and true terror rose up inside him causing him to scream and waste his precious supply of air, a fatal mistake.
Kristoph grabbed his neck and held on to the last bit of breath he had but his vision was going dark and his consciousness was leaving him.
He sank further and with one last glance at the surface the darkness claimed him.


Many years later Kristoph would be scared for life by that incident.
If Klavier hadn’t heard his shout for help then he may never have been able to rescue his older brother from the bottom of the lake.
Kristoph would blank the entire incident out but to Klavier he would still wake up some nights with nightmares concerning the scenario of if he hadn’t heard his brothers cry for help.
But as time went on Klavier began to realise that he had to love every minute he had his older brother and that every second counted, which was why the nightmares became less frequent.
Anyway Kristoph had taken up jogging when he became a lawyer due to the fact that most lawyers were incredibly unfit and most died at a young age, he didn’t want this to happen to him so he took up the first sport that took his eye (well technically it was the second because he refused to acknowledge darts as a sport)
Every day he would don a pair of knee length shorts a t-shirt a head band and a pair of trainers and go wherever he felt that he could go.
Often he felt the physical benefits of the hobby but as time progressed he did it les for his health but more for the fact that he really enjoyed it.
There was nothing like running a mountain track on a warm sunny day with Mozart’s finest work playing on your MP3.
However his love for jogging was not felt by his colleagues.
Often times he would badger other lawyers to join him and they would either agree at first but then never show up or just blatantly refuse.
However there was one lawyer who agreed with him and actually followed through with his promise.
The man’s name was Phoenix Wright.
Wright had never jogged before in his life, in fact the only running he ever did was to the store to buy ice cream before the steel samurai marathon would air, but Kristoph looked beyond that and at the fact that Phoenix wanted to do it and any man with dedication deserved a chance in Kristoph’s book.

Phoenix’s old trainers pounded the hot pavement. His blue tank top was drenched with his perspiration his underwear was starting to hurt his private area and his shorts were starting to chafe.
Kristoph was a good bit ahead of the tired attorney and wasn’t even breaking a sweat.
“Are you okay Wright?” he called back, while adjusting his hair.
“Fine!” panted out Phoenix, even though he was anything but fine.
“There’s a river up ahead we can stop and rest there”
“Thank god” mumbled Phoenix and continued his feeble pace.

Kristoph was relaxed on the bench when Phoenix literally dropped down beside him and painstakingly removed his footwear, with a few pained groans added for dramatic effect.
“How do you manage it!?” panted Phoenix, his lungs felt like they were going to explode at any second as if his constant breathing had stretched his lungs to breaking point.
“Well you know what they say about getting to Carnegie hall Wright”
“Eh no I don’t know”
Kristoph gave him a disbelieving look.
“What? You know that old joke ‘how do you get to Carnegie hall? Practice!”
“huh? But Carnegie hall is in New York right?”
Kristoph rolled his eyes and looked at the sky.
“Beautiful day no?”
“Gorgeous, You picked a good spot to rest” said Phoenix, indicating the river.
The river was fast moving and the noise of it’s flow soothed all of those who heard it.
“Yes it is beautiful here in summer but if you think this is nice you should see the top of the mountain here, you can see the entire city and all the land surrounding it, sometimes I wait there until night just taking in the beauty of both nature and man”
“Err right” responded Phoenix, who secretly admired Kristoph for having the ability to see things like that.
“Heay is that water safe to drink?” asked the one in blue.
“Yes it is, it’s straight from the top of the mountain” replied the blonde.
“Here give me your bottle and I’ll fill it up, you rest here”
“Thanks” groaned Phoenix, handing his plastic Evian bottle over to his new friend.
Kristoph bent over and dipped the bottle into the fast flowing pristine water.
It sparkled dazzlingly and Kristoph never felt more one with nature before.
Suddenly the wet ground beneath the blonde lawyer gave a little. This was enough to upset the lawyers balance and cause him to topple head first into the deep water.
Suddenly the water didn’t look so beautiful anymore, it looked dark and menacing.
The fast current started to pull at the submerged lawyer downstream.
Images from a long repressed past started to flood to the lawyers mind and a single thought screamed itself hoarse in his mind.
“KICK LEGS! GO UP! BREATH!”
Kristoph obeyed and kicked his legs, which were considerably stronger than they were back then, however it wasn’t enough, the current was far too strong and just dragged him sideward’s.
And didn’t allow him the ability to move up.
His breath was starting to run out and that sensation of fading vision and consciousness was getting stronger.
He was going to die and he knew it.
Kristoph stopped struggling against the current and relaxed and reflected on his life so far, altogether it wasn’t to shabby for a man who had so much left that he wanted to do.
Kristoph folded his arms and allowed the darkness to claim him and to river to take his body away.