You forgot Peter's monolouge in the beginning, though Elias.




And Poland.

---------------

Your Honor, I intend to prove that the creators of the video game Katamari Damacy did in fact partake in the use of various illegal substances. Plus some household cleaners. The first example is the overabundance of mushrooms in the game, as illustrated here:



*playing Katamari Damacy* Yeah, I see them. They're friggin' too big to roll my katamari over. Maybe if I get these bushes first.

Oh dude! I just rolled my katamari over a COW! This is awesome!

Oooohhh....Roll a katamari....that's pretty clever...

So can I go home now?

No, no, no. It's soap on a rope for you.

There's a huge flaw in you're testimony! Taking a key from Naruto Abridged... um... uh... *sips OBJECTION COLA*
Well mister Wright?
...What kind of dog can't swim?

What does THAT prove?
Clearly if the dog wasn't there... *sips OBJECTION cola* it wouldn't have been able to deliver medical supplies!

Drink cola. Vitalize the mind, spirit, vocal cords, and finger.

---

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I cannot find my copy of Spiderman, so until I go and rent it from Blockbuster, I will not be able to continue OBJECTIONman. And since I'm not going until I finish RE:CVX, I won't be going for the next few days. BUt until then...
----
*walks out of house ona warm summer day* OK, well, this one time, well, Ray, he went and ate Pop Rocks and drank soda at the same time and his head exploded. *long moment of silence* OK bye. *walks inside*
----
*walks out of house on a cold winters day dressed in one of those big poofy coats you can hardly move in* OK, well, Ray, this one time, well, OK, he was driving with his father and they picked up this lady who was hitchhiking and they took her to her address and they turned around to look in the back seat and she wasn't there, so they went and talked to the guy that lived there and discribed the lady, and the guy that that was his wife, but she had been dead for four years. Spooky. *long pause* OK bye. *Turns around, but trips and lands in the snow, unable to move in his big, poofy coat*

---

Those seem familiar, Elias, but I can't put my finger on it. Where are they from?

@Elias: Animaniacs, right??? Love the shorts with the little boy and his obscene stories!!!

---

And dullahan gets a cookie! Yes, I got the DVDs. The only thing I got wrong was the name. It's Randy Beman, not Ray. Which, by the way...
----
This one time, Ray, he woke up at night, and he saw Dracula, but he thought it was a coat haging in his closet until he turned on the lights and it really was dracula. *pause* OK bye.
----
OK, well, this one time Ray's mom's best friend, whose name is Linda, wanted to get a tan more then anything, so she went to one of those tanning salons but she stayed in to long and she boiled her guts. *pause* OK bye.
----
And now for the God of all bad jokes stolen from Animaniacs...
----
*Is in a field, taking a nap*
's voice off in the distance: Missle! Oh Missle!
*Gets up and does this long running sequence*
*shot of her calling Missle*
*Jumps off a hill to get to her, then looks down to notice he's over a very wide cliff, then falls*
Hahaha. Silly puppy.

---

Oh gosh. That's that little girl who always used to get in trouble while getting her dog blamed for it right? Brings back memories...

---

... I'm sad because no one uses me...
You don't see me complaining... have one of my STFU Sushi boxes!
Why DOES no one use us? We're as good as any of them!
MikeMeekinsFan! Please help me be loved!
...
Nobody uses me either!
We should revolt!
===========
Wright! The minor characters are revolting!
I'll say they are!
ahahahahahahahahahha!
Seriously! Especially that Ben guy!
ahahahahahahahahaha!
oh no... they're almost to the gate!
AHA... oh wait... that's not funny...

don't you hate it when I say
TO BE CONTINUED...

---

So why does your girlfriend wear an eyepatch?

Well, let's just say we haven't kissed in awhile.

...

Ohhh...



*gets shot by Yuu*

---

CRAP! I gave up on another story line! Oh well. Here's some filler.


Wright, something's been bugging me. Why can't we be friends without being considered... you know...

Yeah, I've noticed that too. I think it's the cravat.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT CHARLIE?!?!?!?!

...You gave the thing a name?

Yes! Charlie and me are buddies!

........I wonder where Larry is? Or Lotta? Or anyone at all besides Edgeworth?

I'm here!

...And Gant.

Bark bark!

Well hey there boy! You wanna get the f*** away from Edgeworth and Gant? Yes you do! Yes you do!

Th-th-tha-tha that's all folks!

---

It's OK Godot fan. I give up plot points all the time. Just look at Pirates of the Courtabbean 1&2, and The Adventures of LARPer Nick part 2.

---

Oh good, so it's not just me. Really at this point all I want is feedback.
Radio: chchchchchchchchchchchc
...Yes, well, I meant the other type of feedback.

---

phoenix this is life or death....make it count
ok...OBJECTION!!!...... i forgot what to say and i lost the evidence
(sigh) the 53255453rd loss for phoenix wright
omfg! i wet myself




phoenix wright i declare you for drowning everybody...

aaaaaggghh
hes been infected with GUILT are u sure u no wat do do?

uhhh i think so
goo- hey wait a minuite im the one whos supposed to be op-
begin the operation

i hate you
(drops scalpel on him) well it was fun while it lasted
see i would have not made the same mista- whoops (drops another scalpel into patient)
heheheh....
shut up....


hey i came to see how--
(faints)

i... think we shoud run...

I'M busting to go to the toilet here hurry up Von karma!!!!!!!!!!
hey phoenix
i thought u was in the toilet
uhh no
that means.....
edgy alone time

we gotta stop him ! here the door kick it!!

aaah i having alone time where i mas-
say cheese!
aaagh! aaagh hes mas--
aaah it hurts my eyes!!!

no dont do it!!

phoenix sees white and then freezes in place

AB-SO-LU-TE-LY FABULOUS!
(Absolutely cringe inducing)

You've got to be pulling my magic wand.

More to come.

---

Like, fuck you!

No, fuck you!

Like fuck you!

No, like, fuck you!

Fuck you!

FUCK YOU!

*Catfight*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
I guess their favorite food is "I-scream!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

---

...Hey that was good! Very Moe-esque.

---

Now for a new series: Phoenix Wright and his new car!
You're doing it again!
What?
You're ditching man!
Yeah. I can't find my copy of Spiderman 1, so I can't follow the storyline.
But you said you would rent it.
The next time I go to Blockbuster!
Then go!
Why would I do that would I could stay here at home and play Raw Danger?
OK, I'll give you that one, but why don't you go buy it. Wal-Mart should have it. They always have older movies.
But that involves money.
Which you have plenty of!
So?
OK, why don't you write your own adventures?
Why would I do anything that requires excess brain power when I could just rip off a movie.
But this is about Wright and his new car!
And at one point it'll rip off a few movies. Now shut up and go away.
You know what? Screw you guys, I'm going home. *walks out for five minutes as everyone just stares, then walks back in* I've got nowhere else to go. *Sits down*
...Anyways...Well, here's Phoenix Wright and his first car.
--------
Woohoo! I finally got my drivers license.
Good for you Nick.
This is better then when I became potty trained!
--------
I did it Ms. Fey!
Good for you Mr. Wright.
--------
Now to go out and drive!
Nick, you need a car first.
Oh...Yeah...
--------
Hello, welcome to Big Larry's Used Car Dealership. I'm Larry and I...
Larry? WTF are you doing working here?
Well, my girlfriend...*Slapped*
Stop right there. Is all you ever do chase after women who will just go to another country. I mean, seriously, widen your intrests.
The thing is, I want my girl to have certain values. A certain special something that most women don't have.
Wow, Larry, that's really...deep and romantic.
Yeah man. I will always turn down a girl who doesn't have this special something, no matter what.
That might not be a good thing to some people, depending on what it is...
----Phoenix's interpritation of what Larry's special something he wants is----
Oh, Larry, I've been dating you for the last few weeks, and I can say, you've changed my view on men. They aren't all duchebags and pride filled jerks. Some are kind, and sweet, like you. I...I think I love you.
I love you too, Adrian. You're the love of my life. I wouldn't dump you for anything. By the way, what work do you do? You haven't told me yet. With those looks you must be a model.
Larry, you're such a sweettalker. But no. I'm actually am entertainment manager.
You're not a model? We're breaking up. Bye! *runs off*
No, Larry! *crys*
Oh, it's OK Adrian. I'm here for you. *hug*
*hug back*...Franziska, you're always there for me. Thanks you.
I have to. I care for you too much. I...I love you.
...I love you too....Wanna make out?
I thought you'd never ask. *makeout scene*
----back in the real world----
*Big smile* Actually, I'm pretty sure it's good for everybody.
Cut it out with the Franny/Adrian daydreams and help me look for a car. Well, how does this one look.
Oh, sweet! A 'stang! I love these things!
I know. It's even been refitted with a larger back seat, and has one of the most powerful engines I've ever seen!
Oh, man, I want this car so bad. How much does it cost?
One dollar.
One whole dollar! It's me you're talking about here. Do you have something more in my price range?
Well, we have this Carolla. It's only thirty-two cents.
*walks into scene* What'd you say about thirty-two cents?
*cowering* Nothing.
Good. *walks off*
O...K.
OK, then get me this Carolla. (To bad if I buy it I'll be flat broke)
But this thing's in the worst shape ever. It's pretty much deformed. And, most importantly, it has a small back seat.
So? It's the only thing in my price range.

---

What about thirty-two cents?

Um, why don't you stop following me?

j00 look liek teh Sp1k3y SamUr41!!!!!

Stop following me...

N0!

(How can I distract myself so I won't realize he's there? Hmm...)

Pearls, want to go to the zoo?

Yay! Let's go, Mr. Nick!

Y3s! Teh Z00!!!!

No way! Mr. Manella cannot set foot inside the zoo!

Why not?

He was banned for spanking the monkey!

li3k teH monk33 was tEh n00b3r!!1111

Okay... let me think...

(sad) I wanted to see animals...

I know! Let's go to the farm!

Yay!

Y34H!111!! PWNZORZ!!1111

No! He was banned from there, too!

Why?

Sal was caught choking the chicken!

teH chikk3n waz Teh n00B!1111

Hmm... I'm running out of ideas.

(sad) Aw, I wanted to see an animal.

I know! Let's go to the movies and watch a 3D animated CGI movie about talking animals!

YAY!

PWNZORZ!!! ROxxOrZ!1!11111

No! Sal was banned from there because he got high in the theater and thought he was Pee Wee Herman, so he got on the ground, pulled down his pants, and-

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!

---

Last edited by Turbo on Thu Jul 05, 2007 12:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

- OMG! LOL! N00B!

- OH MY GOD! L33T! *runs*

(I actually wanted to do this when i met Sal Manella ^-^;)

* * * * * *



(It's a satan objection...)

---

Oh, sorry, 32cents is a personal joke between me and my friends, one that involved me looking like a duchebag. A bit of a personal joke, so...sorry.

---

*Making out in office*
*Aiga crashes into PW's office with a Delorean*
MARTY!!! YOU HAVE TO COME BACK WITH ME!!!!
OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY WALL!
No time Marty.
My name is Phoenix! Aren't you supposed to be in-
You're not marty? Sorry Phoenix.
*Aiga Leaves in Delorean*
My poor wall! (Puts hand on chunk of wall) Good night sweet Prince.....
*Gumshoe crashes through other wall with a Ferrari*
Phoenix! You got to come back with me!
Back where Gumshoe?
Back to the fu-
MY POOR WALL!
No time. Something has to be done about your kids!
We have kids?
It's the future! You have kids in the future!
WHY MY WALLS!
Well, atleast the last two walls are outside so noone can hit them. Maya, let's go
*Phoenix, Maya & Gushoe leave in Ferrari*
* Crashes through both walls at the same time with Hover car*
IS THIS WHERE THE WEATHERGIRL IS!!!!!

---------------------
(Me) To be continued...
What no joke?
It's in the next episode.....
Bull. I came here for a joke.
Here's your 'joke'
*Fade away to hospital with Edgeworth sitting in Patients chair*
Mr. Edgeworth you have aids.
*Looks at MVA* FUCK YOU!!!!!!

---

Now, we continue with Phoenix Wright and his New Car
----
*steps out of car in a body shop* OK, guys, I got my new car.
Sorry Nick, but I already told them.
A Carolla! Why a Carolla?
I mean, seriously, go an RX-8 or an Evo VIII or something like that. Not a Carolla.
But, guys, this car is awsome in Initial-D, and I win all my races with it in Need For Speed.
Yeah, so, you wnted this car to street race, right?
Yes.
Then you should have gotten a better car.
Look, it was the only thing in my price range.
Anyways, look at this. *Opens hood, which opens with a loud, rusty screech* With a little tuning this car could be... Systematic! *You hear a beat of music as he throws his jacket off his back*
I don't like where this is going...
Hydromatic! *Pulls one sleeve off of his arm as you hear another beat*
Oh no.
Ultramatic! *Spins his jacket around his arm, then throws it on a coat hanger*
No. Stop right there.
Shut up and let us sing!
Why, it could be Greased Lightnin'!
Greased Lightnin'!
*hops on top of counter and starts dancing* We'll get some overhead lifters, and four barrel quads, oh yeah!
*Takes a seat on the hood of the car* Keep talkin', whoa keep talkin'!
Fuel injection cutoff and chrome-plated rods, oh yeah!
I'll get her ready, I'll kill to get her ready!
With a four-speed on the floor, they'll be waiting at the door! You know this ain't no shit, we'll be gettin' lots of tit in Greased Lightnin'! *hops over to the trunk of the car*
*run to the back of the car whilst singing* Go, go, go, go-go-go-go-go-go!
Go Greased Lightnin' you're burnin' up the quarter mile!
Greased Lightnin'! Go Greased Lightnin'!
Go Greased Lightnin' you're cruisin' through the heat lap trials!
Greased Lighnin'! Go Greased Lightnin'!
You are supreme, the chicks will cream, for Greased Lightnin;!
Go, go, go, go-go *music cuts off*
Hey, we were singing to that. *camera pans to show Edgeworth with his finger on the stop button of the CD player*
Maya, how many times do I have to tell you, you never put a soundtrack on in here.
*rolls out from under a Mustang* Why not?
Wait, is that the Mustang that I tried to buy?
Yeah.
Great. My girlfriend has more money then me.
Anyways, any time you play a soundtrack here, everyone breaks into song.
I've never noticed that.
You mean you don't remember...
----
Matchmaker, matchmaker, match me a match. Find me a find, catch me a catch.
----
If I were a rich man, idy-bidy-bidy-bidy-bidy-bidy-bidy-bum!
----
*running through forest with Maya* Wonder of wonders, miricale of miricales, God has taken me by the hand!
----
Yeah, but I don't see why you're complaining. That's always fun.
No, it isn't.
Come on. I know one you might like.
----
*sitting at some lunch tables at a high school*
*Sitting on some bleachers around a track*
----
I wanna hear what Nick did at the beach
It was nothing.
Sure. Nothing, Wright, right?
You got in her pants, right?
Tell us about that girl.
----
What'd you do this summer?
I spent most of it at the beach. I met a boy there.
Hauled yourself all the way to the beach for some guy?
He was sort of special.
There ain't no such thing.
It was really romantic.
----
Come on guys. You don't wanna hear all the horny details.
Are you kidding me?
Allright, I'll tell you.
----
Summer lovin', had me a blast.
Summer lovin' happened so fast.
I met a girl, crazy for me.
I met a boy, cute as can be.
Summer days, driftin' away to those Summer Nights.
Well-a, Well-a, Well-a, huh. Tell me more, tell me more! Did you get very far?
Tell me more, tell me more!
Like, did he have a car?
She swam by me. She got a cramp.
He went by me, got my suit damp.
I saved her life, 'cause she nearly drowned.
He showed off, splashing around.
Summer sun, something begun, but oh, those Summer Nights.
Well-a, well-a, well-a.
Tell me more, tell me more!
Was it love at first site?
Tell me more, tell me more.
Did she put up a fight?
Took her bowlin', in the arcade.
We went strollin', drank lemonade.
We made out, under the dock.
We stayed out, till ten O'clock.
Summer fling, don't mean a thing, but oh, those Summer Nights.
Tell me more, tell me more.
But you don't gotta brag.
Tell me more, tell me more.
'Cause he sounds like a drag.
He got friendly, holdin' my hand.
She got friendly, down in the sand.
He was sweet, just turned 18.
She was good. You know what I mean.
Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but oh, those Summer Nights.
Tell me more, tell me more.
How much dough did he spend?
Tell me more, tell me more.
Can she get me a friend? *the music slows down*
It turned colder. That's where it ends.
So I told her, we'd still be friends.
So we made, our true love vow.
Wonder what, she's doing now.
Summer dreams, ripped at the seams, but oh, the Summer...Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiights.

---

THAT WAS PURE AWESOME! You actually had me laughing out loud with that. PW + Grease = Win.

---

@eliasbloodmoon: That was Pure Epic Win! I can't wait for the next part!

I remember when my school did Grease. One of the leads got himself some fangirls for it...

Good stuff, Elias, good stuff.

Plus, anything Phoenix/Maya is win.

---

@eliasbloodmoon: That was pure amazement! Musicals FTW 8D





I'd give up this trial right now.
Same here.
What? But wait! Both of us can't give up this trial! One of us has to lose and get that klondike bar!
Fine. Then the prosecution asks the witness to continue his testimony.

Not so fast Edgeworth! The defense asks the witness to stop his testimony!
Huh? I don't get it...did the defense and prosecution just switch sides?
No. They're both trying to give up the case for a klondike bar.
...I see.
Well then. What would I do for a klondike bar? Well, I'd stop this trial right now.
What??
Right then. *slams gavel* This trial is over. Everyone have a nice day! *walks off*
...
...
I think I'm going to change my answer.
I think I might as well.

Ahhh...sweet luscious chocolate klondike bar. How I love you-
Now Edgeworth!!
Edgey-chan KIIIIIIIIIICK!!
HOLY SWEET POTATOES AND COLESLAW!!

So what happened now?
Nick and Mr. Edgeworth said they'd go and attack the Judge for a Klondike bar.
Oh, well what would you do for a klondike bar Mystic Maya?
Hmm...I'd probably change my profession from being a spirit-medium to a stripper.
What's a "strip-per"?
You'll learn when you're older.

OHOHOHO! What would I do for a Klondike bar?
I'd have sex with a girl over the age of 18

I'll be un-perfect.

I'd divorce my wife.

I'd ask Mister Edgeworth to go out with Mystic Maya!

I'd move to China

I'd strangle a child!

I'd set the Police Department building on fire.

I'd go single!
But Larry you...
Shut up! Mary Sue said she'd only be gone for a week in Morocco!
But you said that three months ago-
Her flight was delayed!

I'd make the weather girl my new best friend

I fall in love with Phoenix


I'd become gay with Maruhodou

...what? I can't help it if they're THAT good.

And there you have it for our first round folks. Stay tuned for next time as we continue to ask...



...someone call a doctor. And arrest those two immediately
Well Edgeworth, looks like we've both lost our jobs.
Yes but it was worth it
Yeah you got a point. These Klondike bars are damn good.
*walks up to the two of them, takes their klondike bars and smashes them to the ground*


von Karma! Why would you do such a thing??!
Easy. Because I said I'd steal other people's klondike bars for a klondike bar. And then smash them to the ground because I don't like klondike bars.
....
....
I think I'm going to have to change my answer again.

---

Last edited by LySs on Fri Jul 06, 2007 1:08 am, edited 2 times in total.

Depending on your depth perception, it could look like you have a beard. 8D

Lovely work on that funnie LySs.

---

What are your on the current political situation?

The...just in general like as far as Iraq goes?

*Nods* Yes, the the current political situation.

Hey

Well I th-

Hey.............fuck you. *flips the bird*



All night long, I'm horny
All night long, I'm horny
All night long, I'm horny
All night long, I'm horny

You've got me horny in the morning, and you know
I tried to call you but I can't find the telephone
I sent a message through the internet but it rejected
I wrote a letter and I sent it through the post

The post it takes so long
So I've got to sing this song
To let you know how I feel, what's the deal baby
And I can't wait for you
For the things you make me do
My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you

Chorus:
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

I search from town to town but I can't find a bedroom
I got so desperate that I sent a rocket to the moon
In New York City, someone said they saw you singing the blues
But it was a man from Nowhere Land that looked like you
I will keep searching on
This feeling's much too strong
My heart is ringing and I'm singing this song for you

Chorus:
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

I'm horny, horny, horny tonight
I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny
All night long I'm horny

The post it takes so long
So I've got to sing this song
To let you know how I feel, what's the deal baby
And I can't wait for you
For the things you make me do
My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you

Chorus:
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny
I'm horny, horny, horny, horny
So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

Our ears! Our childlike ears!

Oh no! Mystic Pearl and her friend from that town out in the poor mexican village should not be exposed to this madness! LOTTA!

Horny horny, horny horny horny-WHAT! CAN'T YA'LL SEE AH AM TRYIN TO SING THIS HERE SONG!

I challenge you to a hair off!

Afro vs geisha hairstyle! IT'S ON!

Some things just shouldn't happen...

: *leaves the Adult Education building with a medical degree* I'm like, a real doctor now. Like, all I needed to do was spend seven minutes in the dark with Dr Hotti.

Later that day.
: *quickly gets out of her car and runs to Dr Grey's house* Hello.

: You again!? What do y-

: Can't talk now, fellow Grey! *brings out scalpel*

: But, you rang my-

: Like, I'm a doctor and I've got lives to save! *runs to her car and drives*

: May God help us all.

At the McDonalds Drive-Thru.
: Hello and welcome to McDonalds. I'll ta-

: Like, nothing for me today! *brings out a working defibrillator kit* Like, I'm a doctor and I've got some lives to save! *drives away*

: Miss, it's a felony to tease the order box...

: I want you!

Traffic light flashes red.
: *drives through causing some others to crash* Like, I'm a doctor and I've got some lives to save!!! *drives away*

: (I didn't know we could do that!) *drives away causing some more drivers to crash* It's okay! I'm a doctor!

3 months later at the... Miney Clinic?
(DarzieP) : I love Scrubs.

: Like, shut up! That show sucks! I'll be teaching you two on how to operate on a heart.

(Chinese Infantry) : ...We'll be operating on a real person!? MIND FUCK!

: Like, why not!?

(DarzieP) : Uh... What are we supposed to do first?

: *sigh* Let's just say the human body is like an orange. *picks up the orange* First you have the skin, then you have the- *eats orange*

(Chinese Infantry) : This is total MIND FUCK! If I wanted to see someone eat an orange, I would have taken the Orange Eating class!

Orange Eating class.
: Eating an orange is like having sexy-time with a certain little-

: Just eat the damn orange!

Chinese Infantry presents (at the last minute, much like that Clusterfuck game Sonic Next-Gen):




Featuring the following:
Miles Edgeworth, who defines Metrosexual
Damon Gant, who defines Pedophile
Godot, who defines Pimp
Dick Gumshoe, who defines Dumbass
Maya Fey, who defines Phoenix's Lover
LySs, who defines Awesome
over 9000 guests stars, who defines That Fucking DBZ Reference.

And now, the definition of Group Moderator and King of Defense: PHOENIX WRIGHT!

Welcome to the show. This shit was put together at the last minute, meaning none of us showered.

I took an Italian shower, bitch.

I don't think spraying yourself with a whole can of Axe qualifies as cleaning up. However, for this episode, we will have a special guest star: LYSS!

Hi, guys!

Hey, off with the bathing suit! This is the naked hot tub, not the...wait nevermind...

Umm, I'm not very comfortable with that...

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

....17

CLOSE ENOUGH! GET NAKED, MY GOOD LADY AND COME SIT NEXT TO...

AND ALSO TONIGHT, we featured over 9000 guest starts.

Good evening, mates!

*Sounds of Yuu-chan squeeing in the background*

Heeey, aren't you that detective with the big nose that people slash with Yuusaku for some dumb reason?

By day, I am a mild mannered detective with a larger an average nose. But by night, I am OVER 9000 GUEST STARS!

(Thank God it's just a name. I don't think this small hot tub could fit any more smelly people)

By the way, it is against my religion to shower, take a bath, or even wear deodorant. Therefore, I smell like over 9000 guest stars that haven't showered in a week.

(Maya help me.) Uhhh...let's start. Issue number 1: What would you do for a Klondike Bar. It's a question that's racked our brains for centuries, but tonight, and only tonight, it shall be answered. Edgeworth, we'll start with you.

I'd fuck my sister. Then I'd fuck her sister. Then I'd fuck you, Wright!

THERE IT IS. YOU SAID IT, BITCH! YOU'D FUCK MARUHODOU! ALL THE PROOF I NEED TO PROVE YOU...

But only for a Klondike Bar.

But still...

Maya, darling, you're next.

Personally, I prefer hamburgers, but for dessert, I'd eat a 100 pound one!

(Knowing you, that wouldn't be too hard...) Gant....*sigh* what would you do?

I'd do community service!



What?

I don't have a shocked smilie...

I'd volunteer at the old folk's home, then at the soup kitchen, then I'd clean up all the trash in the city, then I'd give money to charity.

Maybe Gant does have a soul after all...

AND THEN I'D GO ON A MURDEROUS RAMPAGE IN AN M1 ABRAMS TANK! I'D THEN LEVEL AN ENTIRE CITY WITH A NUKE!

(I was actually expecting more alone the lines of rape.) Gant...please for the love of Ra...don't reproduce...ever....GODOT!

I'd whore myself out to over 1000 STD ridden hoes for 50 Klondike bars apiece, Bitch! Then I'd get myself arrested and whore myself out to every inmate there for over 1000 Klondike bar.

.............

What, I'd get sooo many Klondike Bars, it's be so worth it, bitch!

...Gumshoe...

FIRST, I'D LET FRANZISKA DO ME IN THE ASS WITH A STRAP ON. THEN I'D BLOW MY LOAD ALL OVER MATT'S CAT! THEN IN ORDER TO LOSE THE ERECTION, I'D WATCH AN UWE BOLL MOVIE!

Does anyone have an answer that would not scare small children for life?

I'd either give up video games for a week or read an explicit Yuri Fanfiction...

Are you kidding. I'd love to do the second one! In fact, I'd do it over and over again.

What about you then...

I'd read One of Every Color...



Why the faces?

EXCELLENT CHOICE!

I still don't have a shocked smilie...

Then somehow, I'd use it as a Satanic Ritual to bring Eazy-E back from the dead...

...Flawed logic aside. Aig...err..over 9000 Guest Stars. What do you have to say?

I'd do just about anything. Except take a shower, bathe, or wear deodorant!

I put this question to other people as well. This is what they had to say:

RevFirst: I'd suck your*shot* O_O that Didn't happen.

DarzieP: Tonight. You.

T3h_Waffleman: Kill my brother, Itachi. He's a dick. He stole the last one. And he killed our family or something.

Yuu-Chan: Punch a Hobo...

*Runs*

Where are you going, Papa?

*Running* That's all the time we have for today. Edgeworth, do the ending!

Coming up next time, assuming the Hazmat Team manages to clean up this place after over 9000 Guest Stars showed up, we will venture into even more fascinating topics that will possibly scar you for life, kind of like a Gantfred 'fic if your name is not Croik. MEETING ADJOURNED, SNITCHES!

---

XD CI! That was awesome!

Hmm...I need to make a shocked smilie...

---

Ready to be transparentized!

EDIT: Your smiley has inspired me to maybe possibly somehow by chance make my own. Or maybe I'll keep posessing Grey.

So, Elias, when are you planning on continuing the whole Grease thing?
I don't know.
What!? You have yourself a hit here!
Yeah, but I'll have a bit of trouble.
What exactly would that be?
I don't own Grease, and therefore will have to rent it again in order to learn all the words.
So?
And I think it might be a bit hard for Maya.
What!? What makes you think that.
In the story, you would be Sandy.
So?
She trys to avoid having sex with Danny, played by Nick here, because she's a good girl. While I'm not saying you're not a good girl, it's a bit out of character for you to be trying to avoid doin' it with Nick here.
Half the crap I do in this topic is out of character!
Fine! It's out of character of your out of character! You know what? Fine. I'll get right to making Gel.
Gel?
A Phoenix Wrighted up Grease.
Oh.

---

Get some discipline into those chaps, Detective!

Right sir! Good evening, class.

(RevFirst, DarzieP, Chinese Infantry, T3h_Waffleman) Good evening.

Where's all the others, then?

(RF, DP, CI, WM) They're not here.

I can see that. What's the matter with them?

(RF, DP, CI, WM) Dunno.

(DP) Perhaps they've got 'flu.

Huh! 'Flu, eh? They should eat more fresh fruit. Ha. Right. Now, self-defence. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where we got to last week when I was showing you how to defend yourselves against anyone who attacks you with armed with a piece of fresh fruit.

(Grumbles from all)

(WM) Oh, you promised you wouldn't do fruit this week.

What do you mean?

(CI) We've done fruit the last nine weeks.

What's wrong with fruit? You think you know it all, eh?

(WM) Can't we do something else?

(RF) Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick?

Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I'll tell you something my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me! Now, the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit...

(RF, DP, CI, WM) We done the passion fruit.

What?

(DP) We done the passion fruit.

(WM) We done oranges, apples, grapefruit...

(CI) Whole and segments.

(WM) Pomegranates, greengages...

(DP) Grapes, passion fruit...

(WM) Lemons...

(CI) Plums...

(DP) Mangoes in syrup...

How about cherries?

(RF, DP, CI, WM) We did them.

Red and black?

(RF, DP, CI, WM) Yes!

All right, bananas.

(All sigh.)

We haven't done them, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.

(WM) Suppose he's got a bunch.

Shut up.

(RF) Suppose he's got a pointed stick.

Shut up. Right now you, Mr Pear.

(DP) Power.

Sorry, Mr. Power. Come at me with that banana. Hold it like that, that's it. Now attack me with it. Come on! Come on! Come at me! Come at me then! (Shoots him.)

(DP) Aaagh! (dies.)

Now, I eat the banana. (Does so.)

(WM) You shot him!

(CI) He's dead!

(RF) He's completely dead!

I have now eaten the banana. The deceased, Mr Pear, is now 'elpless.

(WM) You shot him. You shot him dead.

Well, he was attacking me with a banana.

(CI) But you told him to.

Look, I'm only doing me job. I have to show you how to defend yourselves against fresh fruit.

(RF) And pointed sticks.

Shut up.

(WM) Suppose I'm attacked by a man with a banana and I haven't got a gun?

Run for it.

(CI) You could stand and scream for help.

Yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe.

(CI) A pineapple?

Where? Where?

(CI) No I just said: a pineapple.

Oh. Phew. I thought my number was on that one.

(CI) What, on the pineapple?

Where? Where?

(CI) No, I was just repeating it.

Oh. Oh. I see. Right. Phew. Right that's bananas then. Now the raspberry. There we are. 'Armless looking thing, isn't it? Now you, Mr Lemon Pantry.

(CI) Infantry.

Infantry. Come at me with that raspberry. Come on. Be as vicious as you like with it.

(CI) No.

Why not?

(CI) You'll shoot me.

I won't.

(CI) You shot Mr. Power.

That was self-defence. Now come on. I promise I won't shoot you.

(RF) You promised you'd tell us about pointed sticks.

Shut up. Come on, brandish that raspberry. Come at me with it. Give me Hell.

(CI) Throw the gun away.

I haven't got a gun.

(CI) You have.

Haven't.

(CI) You shot Mr Power with it.

Oh, that gun.

(CI) Throw it away.

Oh all right. How to defend yourself against a redcurrant -
without a gun.

(CI) You were going to shoot me!

I wasn't.

(CI) You were!

No, I wasn't, I wasn't. Come on then. Come at me. Come on you weed! You weed, do your worst! Come on, you puny little man. You weed...

( pulls a lever in the wall-
CRASH! a 16-ton weight falls on )

(CI) Aaagh.

If anyone ever attacks you with a raspberry, just pull the lever and the 16-ton weight will fall on top of him.

(WM) Suppose there isn't a 16-ton weight?

Well that's planning, isn't it? Forethought.

(WM) Well how many 16-ton weights are there?

Look, look, look, Mr Knowall. The 16-ton weight is just one way of dealing with a raspberry killer. There are millions of others!

(RF) Like what?

Shootin' him?

(WM) Well what if you haven't got a gun or a 16-ton weight?

Look, look. All right, smarty-pants. You two, you two, come at me then with raspberries. Come on, both of you, whole basket each.

(WM) No guns.

No.

(WM) No 16-ton weights.

No.

(RF) No pointed sticks.

Shut up.

(WM) No rocks up in the ceiling.

No.

(WM)And you won't kill us.

I won't.

(WM) Promise.

I promise I won't kill you. Now. Are you going to attack me?

(RF & WM) Oh, all right.

Right, now don't rush me this time. Stalk me. Do it properly. Stalk me. I'll turn me back. Stalk up behind me, close behind me, then in with the redcurrants! Right? O.K. start moving. Now the first thing to do when you're being stalked by an ugly mob with redcurrants is to - release the tiger!

GRRRRRR!!!

(RF & WM) AHHHHH!!!! (Run away.)

The great advantage of the tiger in unarmed combat is that he eats not only the fruit-laden foe but also the redcurrants. Tigers however do not relish the peach. The peach assailant should be attacked with a crocodile. Right, now, the rest of you, where are you? I know you're hiding somewhere with your damsons and prunes. Well I'm ready for you. I've wired meself up to 200 tons of gelignite, and if any one of you so much as makes a move we'll all go up together! Right, right. I warned you. That's it...

FRUITSHOE RULES!

I love this topic. So damn funny.

Yeah, I transfered the post.
This one was giving me problems.

Last edited by RevFirst on Sat Jul 07, 2007 8:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.