Well it is a vent station

---

But Videogames are my stress therapy~
There's nothing better than playing a Beat 'Em Up game when you're angry~

C-A

---

Video games bring stress and relieve it. It's a love-hate relationship~

---

This /\

---

"I hate this game and yet I love it, too."

--pcull44444 on Battletoads

---

I really don't understand people. They tell me I'm "being too nice and should be a tad tougher and enforce rules". I enforce one simple rule and they shit all over me like I'm the worse person in the world. What the fuck do you want me to do then? Christ, just do it yourself if you're just going to complain.

---

You might want to be more specific, Higanjima. Are you a moderator on a different forum or something?

---

You know what I hate? School. And I hate that I have to go back next week.

I've always hated it from a child till now. High school is one of the worst things that I've ever experienced. I'm treated like shit, I have almost no friends, and no one cares about me at all. It's terrible. In freshmen year I went to a school dance by myself with no date and no group of friends. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but I went alone. And it was the most miserable night of my life. I don't know what stopped me from breaking down and crying. I was basically by myself in the corner where no one even talked to me. That year I also got suspended over some stupid bullshit. Long story short, some dumb bastards heard me out of context and ruined my life by telling the principal that I was giving terrorist threats. They said that I wanted to kill, rape, and do other things that I don't even want to talk about. All those things that they were accusing me of I either never said or they heard out of context. CONTEXT. These people don't hear the full story, and they think that I want to kill everyone. These people were already making me miserable, and I'm looked at as the bad guy. Oh yeah, and to add the icing to the shit cake; no girl I ever asked would ever go out with me. This was also when my parents' divorce was officially finalized (they had been separated for years) and my dad married someone not even half is age. So yeah, worst year of my life.

Sophomore year wasn't nearly as bad, but that's like saying one arm cut off is better than having both cut off. I still felt like shit, and the people were still the same. And so next week begins Junior year with more difficult classes, more work, and more stress. This is the turning point because this is the year that really determines what college I go to. Senior year is more relaxed because most things are finalized by then.

And you know what the sad thing is? Right now, my life is probably at its easiest point. When I'm out of school, that's when things go down. I have to get a job and support myself. I honestly hope that I can get into college and get a job doing things that I truly am interested in. But why should I be complaining. I could be some starving African kid living in a war-torn country, but I'm not. I'm just an average kid living in the U.S. I know that things are bad, and I try my hardest to deal with it; but sometimes I can't stand how my life is. I'm not complaining about the quality of living. I'm complaining about how unhappy and stressed I am. Surely someone gets what I'm talking about.

On another website, I'm Root. Which is right under Co-Owner.

---

I'm not familiar with that site. How strict are the rules over there?

---

It's like a social networking site, for "goth" people. I'm not goth, but a lot of my friends are on there and it's the only means of communication I have with them. Rules? They get broken easily, to the point where underage girls post nudes and grown men hit on anything with mammary glands.
Anyway, they have "cults" on there and I'm Root in one of them and every Friday night they host a TinyChat for said "cult" only if they reach a weekly post count. Which is usually 5, 000. Lately we haven't been reaching the goal, but the owner still hosts the TC out of the kindness of her heart. I simply said that if we didn't reach a certain amount of posts by Friday morning, we shouldn't host it. Unfortunately nobody liked that idea. Oh well.

---

That sounds....like a really unusual reason to not host a TinyChat. I'd be more interested in enforcing them other rules against all the nudity and...flirting (if that's really against the rules, distasteful sure) perhaps dropping a fair few official warnings or temp-bans if dire.

---

The nudity won't ever stop. Unfortunately.
I don't run the site, so I can't ban people, but I can report them. I can't count the number of people I've reported.

---

Does a position just beneath Co-Owner really not have any mod powers for warnings or influence to insist upon them on that forum?!

---

In the cult itself, yes. On the site the cult is on, no.

---

I don't have any moderating experience on forums like that. I'd probably bring the matter up with the other people in charge of enforcing the rules there if you're getting mixed messages like that. Then again, if you don't have any real authority within the cult, it's pretty much beyond your control anyway, in which case the people complaining to you about enforcing the rules (or not enforcing the rules, as the case appears to be) should be bringing the matter up with someone who can actually put their foot down. If the rules are being broken as frequently as you claim, though, I imagine the TC policy will ultimately continue to be broken.

---

I've spoken to the owner and she liked the idea, but when I said it, I wasn't backed up. She probably didn't see it. Either way, I don't have so much responsibility as the owner. It's really her decision. Oh well. As long as I'm not demoted, I'm fine with whatever happens.

---

TopHatProfessor

Well, as Dennis Leary says: Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up.
As for people not caring about you or treating you like shit, I have to ask: Why do you care? Chances are that, after highschool, you'll never meet the people themselves again. Probably people like them, but it could be a chance meeting or if push comes to shove, a co-worker. And co-workers are not all that important, I think... you work with them and that's it. Nobody forces you to hang out with them outside of work.
The suspension sounds like it was based off of crap.
Didn't the principal ask for your side of the story? If he didn't, that's a good sign that he's a terrible principal. Plus, so you said stuff that sounds like you want to go on a killing spree. Big Whoop - people tend to say things they'd never actually do, mostly because they won't do them. Just saying it is a quick way to vent.

Although the way I understand it - although I don't know how American high school works - is that the Senior Year isn't all that relaxed. There are colleges that care more about your grades, rather than your SAT scores, so you can't just relax and wait until graduation...

C-A

---

I care because I don't want to have to go through this every single day. If people are like that to me everyday, than every moment of that school will be miserable for me. It doesn't matter what the future will be. I'm not there yet and I care about NOW. Oh, and practically no one hangs out with me AT ALL. I have one friend who invited me over to his house THREE TIMES in one year. That was nice of him, but obviously no one else cared enough to do the same. I have practically no friends and zero social life.

Sure he heard my side of the story. That doesn't mean he believes it. And eventually he pressed me so hard and practically interrogated me like a criminal for so long I was forced to "admit" that I had said those things. It's a common interrogation technique. Put enough stress on the suspect and he'll say anything regardless if it's true or not. I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't strong enough and I basically gave him a false confession. I still have nightmares of that horrible day. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because of how angry, depressed, and ashamed I was. And of course, all of this shit had to happen to a loser like me while I'm also having to deal with a bunch of other problems. My life just gets better and better doesn't it?

I'm not going to slack off. I'm just saying that Senior year is less demanding than Junior year. And most American colleges I've seen DO care more about test scores. I want to go to a college in Canada though because the tuition is cheaper and I hate the U.S.

I guess it's because I'm a person who really doesn't care much about social life or friends or hanging out, so I don't get why it bothers you so much.

C-A

PS: Dead or Alive's Counter System is terrible!

---

No, you don't understand. No one does. You're 23 and your life is completely different from mine. I don't expect you to get what my problems are. That's okay, it isn't your fault or anything. Thanks for even bothering to respond in the first place. It really means a lot to me.

We die alone but we live in the world of men.

Human's are social creatures, it only makes sense that he's feeling down because he doesn't get much interaction.
Regarding your lack of romance I wouldn't rush it so much, you want to find someone right for you anyway rather than just anyone so don't get all flustered because folks say no.

Way I see it there's three big shake ups in anyone's life where your social life becomes a wild card.

1: Going to Secondary School (or middle school I'm not sure what Americans' call it...your roughly 12-18 year old school).
2: The big step up to university or college.
3: Getting a job after university or college.

Things can change dramatically and at least for me I found University was filled with open minded and friendly people. Most of whom didn't even know me. It can be a chance to make new impressions on a much more welcoming community. Then you get the chance to develop yourself more.

As for your principle if the allegations are so serious I might take it up with the Education authorities or at least tell one of your parents about it. Sounds like he was just bullying you for the most part.

---

I've already given up on romance because I think its pointless at this point. The girls where I live aren't worth anything. I hate all of them, and the ones that seem okay have zero interest in me. So there's little point in trying. Besides, I've already met someone on Court Records. She may not be my "girlfriend" per se, but she's the closest I have to one. No other girl has ever bothered to talk to me because I'm viewed as "weird" where I live. And right now, she's my reason for living. Unfortunately, she lives in the U.K. while I live in the U.S. There's no chance of us ever meeting right now.

That's why I have to do well in these next two years. I need to get into a good college. I probably want to get involved either in law or writing. I haven't decided yet.


Not going to happen. First off, it happened almost two years ago. Secondly, I was already suspended. Nothing is EVER going to change that. Thirdly, that principal isn't at my school anymore. Fourthy, he IS the education authorities. And no one is going to take my side. There's nothing I can do. It happened and I have to let it go.

Okay, not trying to attack you, but that is such a dick thing to say that, just because I'm 23 years old, I don't 'get your problems' anymore. I was in school again two years ago and I will go to school again for another two years in September *knocks on wood* so I know what it's like to get older and still be the freak of the class that isn't liked, but merely pitied by one or two people who don't have that much contact with me, either.

And I feel like I have to be a bit firmer now and tell you, "Suck it up"
Not everybody you meet in life is gonna like you and not everybody you meet in life you are going to like. You'll move on, you'll get out of it and meet someone who will like you and the other way around. Fuck what happens in High School, who even cares? Who actually makes that big of a deal if they were popular or anything like that in high school once they hit their careers? I can't think of any boss who would be impressed that someone applying was Homecoming King/Queen, it means nothing. Popularity is not required to hold down a good job. What helps hold down a job is the good common sense of knowing when to bow your head to the superior.
Chill, it's only two more years and that will go away fast enough. And then you can forget everything that ever happened in that school because it's not important. (Except maybe the suspension, but any future boss will hopefully have the brain to know that people say things when mad and don't actually mean them)

C-A

---

I apologize if it sounded like I was attacking you. When I said that you don't understand my life, I didn't say it in a mean way. And your life probably is very different that mine. If you truly understand, you didn't sound like that in your previous comments.

I don't give a damn about popularity. Those so-called "popular" people are a bunch of parasitic leeches who only hide underneath all of that. I refuse to be that kind of person.

All I want is a few friends that actually care about me. Is that so much to ask? And what am I supposed to do for two years!? I don't want to live in depression and misery in all of that time. I care about NOW. And you don't have to tell me to suck it up. I know that I have to do that. I have no choice, whether I like what's going on around me or not.

And unfortunately, a suspension is a suspension no matter how you look at it. I only hope that it won't affect me getting into a college or getting a job. They're not going to care about my side of the story.

I'm just gonna quickly say that I understand TopHat's reactions to his current life scenario (though yes you really shouldn't have said Cat doesn't get you, whatever was your intention with that phrase) because I am a bullying survivor myself and I know the scars that this kind of stuff leave in you. But what I'm gonna say is: first of all, Pierre nailed it. College is a completely different environment and you can start your life "freshier", there will be people more open to you and your personality. Second, you have to grasp some changes in yourself. No, I'm not telling you to be what people want you to be, that is waaaaaaay off; however, the way I see it, everything that happens has the blame parted in two ways. So if you're being pushed around, we could say that 0,0001% of the blame is on you for some reason within your character. And it is again within your character that you should grow stronger/wiser/whatever, without surrendering to anyone's patterns but your own. I recommend in fact seeking therapy - it is NOT for sickos only, normal people CAN and SHOULD seek this kind of help.


With this rant over I hope you'll feel somewhat better at least

EDIT: Also don't trust your school with justice, my principals were all introspective dickheads who'd run away scared when someone defied them. It's all for the experience. Even bad ones.

---

I'm already seeing a therapist. It's helpful I guess.

Thanks, I appreciate your advice. One thing though is that I don't like the term "bullying survivor." Unless there were actually attempts on your life, you are not a "survivor." Other than that though, your response was helpful. I don't have so much trouble being bullied but being completely ignored. Both have happened to me before though, one more than the other.

I'm not talking about college, I'm talking about now. And right now, there's nothing I can do. I have no control over anything. I don't care how much "experience" I got over being suspended. It should NEVER have happend in the first place and only proves to me that there is no such thing as real justice.

Well that's good then, but is it the "talking" kind or the "hypnosis/meditation" kind? People respond differently to each



Dude come on, you know what I meant by that. I'm talking serious bullying here not "hey catch your cap haha sucker"-type bullying, people kill themselves over this kind of stuff.



Then you should start by exerting control over small things that you can control, then make the leap to bigger things.



Welcome to the world!


And hey, advice is free and it doesn't hurt, so don't thank me. I'm glad I could help.

---

Talking kind, though he does do some kind of hypnosis with other people. It's good because my therapist is one of the few people who agrees with my "controversial" opinions.


Not really. The word "survivor" is misused a lot and people tend exaggerate. You're right though when it comes to people killing themselves over bullying, which is unfortunate when it happens. I think that "tolerating" or "working through" bullying would be more appropriate. In the end, whether or not you kill yourself is up to you. But that's why therapy helps people with depression and self-esteem so it doesn't come to that.



Sorry, but that's not very good advice. I control whatever it is that I can (which is almost nothing). But since I'm just a teenager in high school, there's very little that I can do. It's just the way it is and I have to deal with it until college.



I'm not trying to break new ground here. I'm only stating the obvious.

Anyways, I hope you don't view my responses as nasty or anything. I'm just really stressed over the things going on in my life right now. Thanks.

Man this light-hearted little topic for minor grievances has deviated far from the original vision of Emiko's I think.

I wonder if this is what folks were worried about when it was first started.

---

Meh it wasn't specified whether it was for minor or major stuff, as long as people want to share all we can do is either stare or help. Emiko knows her stuff.

---

Why thank you. *blush*

Well I honestly don't think I intended for this to only be for light stuff...I once vented about the verbal abuse my parents put me through, and the sexism.

---

This is a type of "victim mentality." Or sounds defeatist, anyway.

Are you sure there's not one thing you can do about your present situation? Do you know all of your options? I'm asking because I honestly don't know how it is where you live. Does your high school have any programs with any community colleges in the area? I've heard of high school students who take extra classes at the community college in order to graduate earlier. Is there anything like that where you go? Have you spoken with your guidance counselor to see if you can audit some senior courses? Are you allowed to cram all your core classes in the first semester of senior year, so that you can graduate half a year early (as long as you complete your high school credit load)? Of course, these types of options would require more studying and work, but if it's a possibility where you are, that's less time spent in high school, right?

And I'm not trying to get your hopes up or anything. I'm just asking if you have explored all of your options. If you're gonna admit defeat, shouldn't you at least cover all of your bases first? You keep saying "there's nothing" you can do. Is there a reason for that? Is your suspension a barrier to academic advancement? And I'm being serious when I ask this.

I'm going to guess you're feeling drained from the whole suspension incident (and high school in general), and feeling like you had nobody on your side. I haven't been through a suspension, so I have no idea how it's like, but I'm sorry you were ganged upon like that and treated unfairly.

I'm glad you can see you are more fortunate than some others, in some ways, but honestly, I've never been a fan of the "starving kid in Africa" perspective. It's kind of dumb and outdated, and only serves to make you feel guilty on top of already feeling like shit. Sure, it sucks to be a kid in some parts of Africa... especially if you're female... but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel some pain or grief over your own problems. I think it's healthy to express yourself for a little while as long as you don't let it go on forever, or randomly kick someone's ass over it. (Not that I'm saying you would.) Maybe you can find some constructive way of dealing with it.

I'm a little concerned about you being resentful of people who don't talk to you, or reach out to you in some way? I know it feels like you're being rejected when people don't approach you, but have you tried reaching out to them? I hope I'm not coming off as judgmental, because I'm just curious. You say your friend invited you three times to his house. How many times did you invite him to your house? How often do you strike up a conversation with other people, even if it's just about something mundane? Have you joined a school club, or some activity where you share a common interest with other people? Do you just wait for people to come to you? Or do you feel like you're not allowed to reach out to them, or that they'll just gang up on you if you do? I guess I'm just trying to gauge how much effort you put into the whole social interaction thing before you throw up your hands and say "Nope, not happening."

And unfortunately, no one is entitled to reciprocation. Sure, it would be nice. But true reciprocation has to be genuine, and based on what originally was a genuine act. If you're asking out girls or doing things for people out of desperation or fear of being alone, they may pick up on that and it'll create an awkward moment. But even a genuine act won't necessarily be reciprocated. Or it may. Life's a crap shoot, and you may find good friends in the most unexpected of places. But you'll never know if all you do is sit there closed off in the corner, waiting for someone to come to you.

(For the record, I think it takes a lot of guts to come to a social function by yourself, especially a dance. Sure it wasn't the best decision you ever made, and sure it didn't end well, but maybe that's okay. I'm sure if you look around, you'll see some of the TopHatProfessor1014's of their class going stag to similar events. ......uh, I'm not sure where I'm going with that. I wasn't suggesting you date them or anything... unless you really want to. Just... know that you're not the only person in high school who ever did an awkward thing solo.)

As far as being on your own after you graduate, do you have any relatives that can help you out a little while you try to stand on your own two feet? An older brother or sister, an uncle, somebody? Have you researched financial aid options for college/university, scholarships and such?

---

I really like Adrian in Black's post because I think it provides a good balance of understanding yet constructive advice. I don't agree with the whole "suck it up" posts up there because it's useless just to say that and it's not fair to dismiss what you may be feeling because you are hurting. Having said that, however, from what you've posted, TopHatProfessor1014, it sounds like you might (and this is not me pretending to know you, just from what I've read in your posts) be struggling with a bit of self confidence issues that should be addressed. You keep stressing that you have no control and that translates to me as not trusting your own abilities to handle things. I don't mean to go all psychoanalyze-y on you but I think you need to reflect on why you feel so helpless. Maybe talk to your therapist about this.

I completely understand why you want to work things out now and not just wait it out until college. Hearing 'uni is so much better' doesn't excite or relieve because it's so far off. You've got what, two or three years left of high school? Waiting for the shit to go away is not really an enticing option, I get that. So I think you do need to keep making the effort. You say you want things to get better but you then go on to say things are pointless. I don't want to blame you for things others have done for you (that's not fair), but you do still need to make the attempt to work it out if you want to see progress. You can't just expect things to get better by waiting for everyone else to make it so. You're accountable for you, so you need to be proactive.

This sounds really lame but it is an Ace Attorney forum so I might as well tie it to that. Remember what Mia said? A lawyer doesn't cry until it's all over? It's not all over. You haven't graduated the place yet, so you have to keep trying. It's a new school year-- join some clubs, take some (safe) risks, and try not to take anything too personally. Easier said than done, but it's for the best.

---

Sure, I could graduate early. But that's a hell of a lot of work that I simply can't do. My schedule doesn't allow for any of that and it's simply not possible with how things are right now. And I already said that I have no idea how the suspension will affect my future academics. I really do mean it when I say there's nothing I can do. I have to finish high school like everyone else.



Fine, how about that there are kids whose lives have been ruined due to drugs and alcohol. Is that a better example for you? It seems that whenever I complain about any of this to the people around me, they just scoff it off and say that there are people who have it worse. I don't want to sound like some ungrateful asshole by complaining.



You honestly think that I haven't tried that? Of course I've tried to make friends. No one that I talk to has any interest in me or even cares. And they get REALLY angry whenever controversial issues like politics or religion get brought up. I often have unpopular opinions on things, and that just makes things even worse. And before you ask, no I don't bring those subjects up. It's always them, and whenever I state my opinion I'm looked at like some piece of trash. And I used to invite people over to my house many times. No one ever invited me over in return. And what's the point of striking up a conversation if it's just going to be some boring mundane subject? Yes, I've joined some clubs. That doesn't mean that I make any friends. So what, the people there have one thing in common with me. That automatically means that they like me? The people in my school are a bunch of shallow pricks that I can't stand. I've tried making friends, and I've tried finding people that are half decent. Let me tell you something, those people don't exist where I live. I live in the whitest, most arrogant, stuck-up, and shallow suburban area ever. I hate the people and their conformist attitude. It's basically a bubble where I live.



Like I said, not in my school district. The students here are a bunch of parasitic leeches. Nothing more. I've tried, I really have. All it's done is blow up in my face.



I have no family where I live. The members on my mother's side live in Canada, and my dad's in China. I'm hoping to attend college in Canada and perhaps live there. But it's way too early to look into that. It's not till the end of 11th grade when students start looking.



I have enough self-confidence. I'm not afraid of failure, because I always try. But there eventually comes a time where you get sick of trying to no avail. I've given up with my school, but that doesn't mean that I've given up my entire life. I'm hoping that college will be better, but like you said that's two years off. I'll just have to tolerate it as best as I can, as much as that sucks for me. And I have talked to my therapist. He says that I'm actually "too intelligent" for the people around me. I'm more mature, and talk about more thought-provoking things than the average student. But because of that, few people are "on my level" to have a real conversation. And I suppose he's right. Nothing interests me in the people around me. It's not till college when you meet people. But again, THAT'S TWO YEARS AWAY.



I've already explained this to Adrian, where I live is a lost cause. I can't stand the people, they can't stand me, and there's no hopes of me having a social life here. I don't expect things to get better where I'm currently at. It doesn't matter how hard I try, I always lose in the end. There's no point any more.



I know that it isn't over. And I've already explained why none of those things will change anything. I have to wait for college like everyone else. There is no shortcut or easy solution for me.

Look, I appreciate what everyone's trying to do for me. But it's nowhere as easy as you think. I have to deal with everything on my own, and one day at a time. It's going to be hell, but I'll eventually get through it. Although every day will probably be miserable for me, it won't be forever. Besides, at least I have video games and movies to distract me. It's always been like that for me so I'm used to it.

I do have to point out that actual depression is not something that can be helped with "just" therapy. A depression is also a chemical inbalance in the brain, which will require medical treatment with pills or similar. Therapy is helpful, but it's not the only thing that can be done and getting out of a depression takes a long time...



I wasn't trying to dismiss his feelings.
I just think that wallowing in one's own misery for a long period of time and repeatedly telling themselves why they are hurting so much is a huge waste of time and energy. It's okay to acknowledge that one may feel down about something, but then try to distract themselves with something else, something they enjoy. Or just something to turn their brain off.
Wallowing in self-pity just makes things worse.

C-A

---

Honestly, and I'm speaking from personal experience. Therapy didn't help me, I healed myself. And the first thing I did to heal myself was get over myself.

........Just a thought.

---

It's really good that happened to you, but unfortunately it's really bad to imply that he could try stopping therapy. That could be a terrible thing for him, as it is with a lot of struggling people.

---

This is some heavy stuff.

I've had 2 rough years in my high school days( 15 - 16 years old then, puberty n stuff). I was bullied, was slightly obese and had no friends at school. Those 3 factors made each other worse and influenced each other.

What I did was start exercising combined with practicing a martial art. Now I'll never be a model or the hottest guy around, but I started to look decent for the first time in 3 years giving me a morale boost. I learned to deal with bullies (through experience and new found guts) and even made some friends that lasted my last few years of high school.

My point being: if your misery stems from school, try looking somewhere else for luck. In my case it was exercise and playing games, but you gotta find your own things. The people you meet outside of school also can provide a nice objective view of your problems and give advice accordingly.

Just try and not let it get to you to much and try to do something different if things aren't going your way.

---

I still think it would do him some good for him to get over himself.

---