....
(RevFirst) Well, I never heard of this...
(Darzie) Yeah..
(CI) So. You want to join the group, Mori?
.... *nods*
(Teh_waffleman) A gay guy. Interesting... I always thought gay guys wore pastel colors and any pink, looked girly, and are always concerned about how they look.
(RevFirst) Yeah, me too. *nods*
(CI) If you're gay.. then what kind of guy are you into?
*pulls out a picture of Edgeworth* But I'm also taken. Here's a pic of my boyfriend... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/ ... ori2pe.jpg
(CI) ....Oh god.. It's Bridget 2!!!!!! O_O *runs, screaming*
(DarzieP) Silent, gay, AND has Loli-con tendencies?! ..... o_o
(Rev First) ...Yeah. Ok. We'll call you if you make the cut. How does that sound?
.... *nods* *leaves*

- ...*all look at each other* We say no. v_v

---------------------------------------------------


Am I prosecutor-y enough, yet?
...What an insult. It needs more frills, Mr. Morinozuka!
^^;

((I kinda feel sorry for the kid... Considering who he's always surrounded by everyday... -_-))

-----------------------------------------------------
You can go on in, Takashi.. I forgot something and need to get it real quick. Be right back! *runs off*
..... *blink* *enters Prosecutor Edgeworth's office* *scans around for Miles*
*asleep on the couch*
...*walks quietly over to the prosecutor*
*still asleep*
.. *crawla onto the couch and now straddling Miles*
*STILL asleep*
*a rare smirk appears on his face as he leaned in to kiss Miles on the cheek, as he/Mori knows his lips are only reserved for Hunny*
*wakes to see Mori smirking down at him and still straddling him* *red in the face and yells* MR. MORINOZUKA! What is the menaning of this?!?!!??!!
*had heard Edgeworth yelling* *suddenly opens the door* What's going on in.... here...*trails off as he saw his nephew and boss on the couch* ..No, really, pal.. What happened? o_o *sees Mori climbing off him*
What kind of nephew are you raising here, Detective Gumhoe?!?! Consider your paycheck cut in half this month..
..C-Come on, sir.. What did Takashi do?
I think your nephew's a rapist in the works.
...Uncle. He didn't look well. So I went and checked his temperature and to see if it also wasn't a nightmare or anything...
... Likely story.
I respect you and everything, sir.. But don't falsely accuse my nephew like that... You only most likely saw him just on top of you when you woke up.
You believe this kid?!?!?!
He was just concerned and looking out for you. Come on. Look at him. Does he really look like someone who could take advantage of you? ._. *points*

*glare*
. . .?
Just get out of my office. Both of you. Before I decide to put a restraining order on him.
*boots them both out*
Don't take it so personal, pal... Mr. Edgeworth kicks me out sometimes, too. And he just needs to know you some more. D=
I see... *smirks mentally as he nods, both walk off back to apartment*

---

I love that last pic, MoriMori.

Some people find Mori's lazy-blank stare to be a pretty amusing thing. heh heh.
No one ever suspects me... *grin/smirk*

---

I see some potential. Let's let him in.

(DarzieP) No.

Okay.

Dude, it was a joke. Knowing all of you guys you'd smear my reputation, what little I have at least, and end up throwing me into some random pairing which would get me beaten.
How would being thrown into a pairing get you beaten?
Well, at least the girls I would like to be paired with...
----
& *Making out*
Do you hear something outside?
Yeah. I do. I'll go check on it...*Gets mauled by Funk, who's leading the Fradrian pairing army, who, one by one, start beating me.*
----
You know, I really like this restaurant, so I desided to take you here for our date. I hope you liked it too.
Oh, Elias, this is the greatest date I've ever had. Thank you. *Leans in to give me a kiss on the cheek*
AAAAAAAHHHHHH! PhoenixXMaya FTW! *Grabs me, starts smaking me around, then judo flips me onto a table, where he strattles me and starts punching me in the head.
Stop! Stop! I have something to say!
*Stops* What is it?
Bridget.
*Runs off screaming like a little girl*
----
And what did that have to do with talking to me?
Absolutely nothing,
Then what are you doing here?
I'm just sitting here waiting for my friends.
Really?....You're lieing aren't you.
Actually, yeah. I don't have any friends. Will you be my friend?
Guards!
NOOOOOOOO! *gets dragged off be and *

---

I'm leaving you Edgey!
YAY! Who's your new boyfriend?
Oh, it's not my boyfirend... it's YOURS!
WHAT?
Oh, come in, dearie!
*door opens*
We have a few suitors for your love.
I don't want...
NUMBER ONE!
Hi.
I HATE MILK!
I'll leave then.
Here he is, number two!
Hm.
GTFO
NUMBER THREE!
...
PHOENIX? GET OUT!
I'M NOT PHOENIX WRIGHT
Just get out.
Number Four!
EDGEY-KNIS!
I'm leaving
*Edgeworth leaves*
He'll be back.... HE HAS TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW!

Inspired by the recent 'Pregnant PW girls' thread running in the sprites section.

(Gravelly movie trailer announcer voice) For a young lawyer and his friends, a terrifying change is coming....

Niiick! My outfit doesn't fit me!
So your metabolism finally gave out.

I'm craving pickles for some reason.
Fine, but with jam?

Why do I keep feeling ill in the morning?

My breasts are bigger.
That is awesome.

Something which will shake the very foundation of their lives...

We're PREGNANT!!

......

That's slightly less awesome.

In the next nine months, lifestyles will change...

(sobs) I'm going to get fat!
(sobs) You're going to get fat!

New discoveries will be found...

Mmmm... oh God, what was my life like before I discovered chocolate pudding mixed with bacon potato chips?
I'll be in the bathroom if you need me. Vomiting.

Sacrifices will be made...

Miles...
No! You can't make me exchange my sports car for a people carrier! I refuse!!

New skills will be learned...

HOO-HEE HOO-HEE HOO-HEE HOO-HEE HOO-HEE...
Honey, the Lamaze breathing is for me, not you.

Tough questions will be asked...

How did the baby get inside Mystic Maya?
........

Some more frightening than others....

Sweetie, I put up pictures of you at 6 months on my Deviantart page... and my page hits tripled overnight.

There will be hardships to overcome...

Oh come on Nick! Doctors say having sex during pregnancy is perfectly normal.

I know, I'm just trying to figure out how to scale Mount Maya here...

You just earned yourself a boot to the head.

But the greatest journey lies ahead...

OUR WATER BROKE!!!

.....

Okay, that's just slightly implausible...

In Phoenix Wright: Turnabout Maternity!!

---

*falls out of chair and rolling around on the floor*
That was so freakin' brilliant! I can't stop laughing and I just might pop a lung if I keep laughing.
Do you plan on making a some scenes to go with this movie? I sure would love to see it!

(Me) I can't believe you're afraid of a little spider, Edgeworth!

Shut up! *is cowering in a corner* I know as well as everyone what you're afraid of! *gets out his old N64 and plays the Ocarina of Time*

(Me) You wouldn't dare! Not that! ANYTHING but that!

Heh... *starts fighting the redeads*

(Me) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NOT THE REDEADS!! Okay, I'm sorry! Just, turn it off! TURN IT OFF!!

Okay. *turns off N64* Let's watch some innocent TV now.

*turns on the Muppets*

(Me) NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *foams from mouth and faints*

---

My respects, then my hardly funny bit

toby Danger: Turnabout Maturity is one of the two funniest things on the Internet. (The other one is a spasming genderswapped Gant). IT is too awseome for words.

QUEST FOR GLASSES
Starring:
Turner Grey
welly...
RICHARD WELLINGTON
I give up

My glasses don't fit.
I LOST MY GLASSES!
WE MUST FIND MORE!
After much travelling...
I can't believe we walked three meters...
We're at the glasses store, let's go in.
In the glasses sotre...
We're out of glasses...
NO!
Of grape juice.You can lend someone else's glasses, though.
YEAH!
AWRIGH! Costumers! Come out, employees.
YEah, ya wan't ma?
Your dead, I can't have your glasses
Those glasses are the same as mine... Your heads just smaller
Who *sniffle* wants me....
YOUR A GIRL! I can't have a GIRL'S glasses
Sexist...
These glasses are worth...50p? I can''t have these!
Dick...
Hello...
YOUR FROM THE FUTURE!
Oh, right. So's the shopkeeper.
You shut up.
Who smells of beef... with lemon flavourings?
Not me, your glasses are as small as my thumb.
... SMALL GLASSES!
Ah, there's my beef!
AH!
I'm-a calling our X-man.
X-Man, here. I've brought my girlfriend.
You drugged me then left me in a ditch!
And that strenghtens our love...
Ok, let's leave, and do it.
But first.... *frys grossberg with laser from visor*
You may leave.
YAY!
Who's next....?
Me...
YOUR THAT USELESS PROSECUTOR THAT GOT ME SENTENCED TO DEATH!
I'll leave.
Wait, I want you glasses. THEY'RE PERFECT! See ya!
W-wai-wait... I'm a customer...
Too bad, sucker!
... Dman
Who's next?
Our last one...
Meow
HE DOESN'T HAVE GLASSES
No, we don;t have any for you, so he kills you. EAT, SHOE!
Me-Yessir-ow

THE END

*The following Phoenix Wright Funny was inpsired by this.

Phoenix Wright Jeopardy!

Starring:

as ALex Trebek
as Robin Williams
as Catherine-Zeta Jones
and
as Sean Connery


*Jeopardy music and crowd cheering*

...And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Because of what happened just before the commercial, I'd like apologize to all blind people and children. That said, let's take a look at the scores.

Robin Williams has set a Jeopardy record by buzzing in two-thousand times and never answering a question.

*buzzes in* Yes! Thank you! Yes! Jeopardy! Yes! I hear you, my boy! You are healed! We have found Tom Swayer's mustache, yes! Somebody go over here. I look at the score board. WhatdohaveoverhereOhBenninWhite. Canweturnthelettershemakingavowelmovement, yes! Oh, hi, I'm Rob Dan, Jr. Rob Dan, Jr. wants a recount, yes! Yeah, there's a kid at home going, "Oh! Don't worry Harry Potter", yes. Fantastic-

Thank you......... thank you.

Moving on, Catherine-Zeta Jones has no score because she's mostly been talking about her recent marriage.

Alex, I'd like to say hello to my baby and wonderful new husband. Michael, darling! If you're watching, the diapers are in the bedroom closet, and the baby's diapers are under the sink. I love you darling!

That's...beautiful.

And, finally... Sean Connery's also here now let's move on to Double Jeopardy where the categories-

Not so fast, Trebek!

...I really thought that was going to work.

Eh, you were wrong ya montebank! I pose a conundrum to ya; a riddle if you will.

I don't want to hear it.

What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck...I can't remember how it ends but your mother's a whore!

...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

...Wonderful...

Let's take a look at the categories. They are:

-Potent Potables
-Point To Your Own Head
-Letters Or Numbers
-Will This Hurt If You Put It In Your Mouth
-An Album Cover
-Make Any Noise
and finally,
-Famous Muppet Frogs

I should add that the answer to every question in that category is "Kermit".

*buzzes in* Thank yoooou, yes! Kermit, yes! It's like Kermit and John Wayne goin', "It's not easy bein' green, pilgrim." It's like Schwarzenegger going, "Ya. I'm Kermit da frog, ya. Dat's me, 'Schwarzenegger Kermit'."

...Wha-? Boy, you might be legally retarded.

He has a point.

Alright! Catherine-Zeta Jones, we'll start with you.

I'll take 'Giraffes' for a billion.

...

Let's just go with 'Letters or Numbers' for 200.

...And, the answer is... "5". Is 5 a letter or a number? The number 5... is it a number?

*buzzes in*

Mr. Williams?

Well it's a beautiful thing, yes. Right now there's a guy at home goin', "What da hell's goin' on dere!? Whydn't you change dat-"

Yes... thank you....

*buzzes in again*

Mr. Williams, you already rang in.

*buzzes in again* Yes. It's a beautiful thing, though. Right now Monica Lewinski's at home goin' "*smack* Aah-!"

Yes. Thank you.

Anyone else?

*buzzes in again*

Mr. Williams, I hate you!

BUT I LOVE YOU! It's like Jesse Helms and Michael Jackson going, "Yo quero Taco Bell!", yes!

You are a very sick man.

Anyone besides Mr. Williams?

...

...

*buzzer*

5 is, of course, a number. Catherine-Zeta Jones, sadly, it's still your board.

I'll take "TV Shows And Stories About My Wedding" for 300.

For the last time, that is not a category.

Sean Connery, why don't you pick?

Well, the game is afoot. I'll take "Anal Bum Cover" for 7000.



A ha ha ha ha! Aha ha ha ha ha! Aha ha ha! Aha ha ha! Aha!

That's "An Album Cover", not "Anal Bum Cover".

I can read, Trebek! That says "Anal Bum Cover"! I spent five years of my life trying to invent the anal bum cover. Failing to do so is my greatest regret!

You have led a horrifying life!

The category is "An Album Cover". And, the answer is... "The Beatles White Album is this color".

*buzzes in*

Catherine-Zeta Jones.

Who are the Beatles?

I'm sorry. That's wrong.

No, I asking you. Who are the Beatles? I've never heard of them!

*buzzrs in* Oh, yes! The Beatles, yes! What if- what if they're the Volkswagen Beetles? Yes, then they'll be in the back seat going, "I wanna hold your Farfignugent", yes!

For the love of God, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

I tell you what! Let's just go to Final Jeopardy, and the category is...

You know what? You guys just decide. *rips up cards* You each ask your own question, and then answer it.

*Jeopardy music. All three start writing*

There's no way you can get this wrong...
Because, you're asking the question!
Ask yourself any question, and then answer it.
You'd have to be the dumbest people in the world to mess this up.
Because, you're asking the question!

*music ends. The three stop writing*

And now, let's see how you managed to mess it up.

Robin Williams wrote... ( Yes!)

...nothing...

...because he stuck his pen through his own hand.

Yeeesss! You know what it's like? It's suddenly like Shakespeare- Shakespearean actor who's gay goin', "Alas, poor York! I knew him well-"

*twists pen*

OW!! OW!! SHAZZ-BOX!! Yes!! Oh... *crumples to the floor*

Don't ever come here again!

Catherine-Zeta Jones asked herself this questions... "What sound does a doggy make?" Fine. And, you answered... "???"

...You didn't answer. You couldn't answer your own question...!?

It was hard.

Unbelievable!

And, finally, Sean Connery asked himself...

...

... 'K, I...

Aha ha ha ha ha ha!

I think I know where this is going. Let me just see here... Yeah. Yeah, that's a horse having sex with me! Okay...that's beautiful.

Oh, come on ya pansy! Let the people see my work.

No, we're not going to do that, alright? I quit. Again. Good night!

Aw, come on. Come on!

*Jeopardy music. Luke starts dancing on the set. Screen fades out*

---

Last edited by Mr. Bear Jew on Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

EDIT: Double-post, Sorry.

---

Godot: The quest for a job, then coffee... Then love

I need a new job.
AT THE JOB CENTER
Ah, the job center!
What job would you like?
I'll have a look at ALL of them!
This is Damon Gant, your guide to the world of raping.
No thanks, I've got Demon gant doing that for me.
demon Gant... Never heard of him.
I'll call him. DEMON GANT, I WISH TO RAPE!
You called me, Master?
RAPE HIM!
Oh, god!
I feel sexually attacrted to you.
No... no... no...
I wish to rape you.
Oh, all right, just five minutes.
Y..A...Y.
damn, there went my weapon.
This is Shoe and...
Missle. Arf.
He can do one thing. Say his name and arf.
Missle. Arf.
No, be quiet.
Missle. Arf.
We'll ignore him.
Missle. Arf
Does he ever stop?
Missle. Arf.
HE DOESN'T?
Missle. Arf.
Ignore him.
Missle. arf
We speicalise in the World Dominaition business. Will you help us conquer this Job Center?
NEVER!
You dickhead.
We'll be back!
Hello, I am here to poison you...
Bugger off
YOU [bleep]
I need to find my eyeglass
Your wearing it
WHAT? YOU LIE!
Screw you
Hey.
I'm you from the future
Oh, cool. How's Mia?
She got murdered, and now she's playing hard to get.
Oh, cool.
See you around.
See ya.
I need you to clean up our tears.
Yeah, both of ours. And his drool.
So.. Hot...
YOUR FLIPPING JOKING! Screw this!
I need you to find my wife
Im here, deary.
Oh... sorry.
(they're nuts...)
Dude, I so like need to scratch you.
Erm... Why?
I CAN'T SCRATCH ME!
Leave me alone.
I need new glasses
Screw you
I need new glasses.
Leave me alone!
WE ALL NEED NEW GLASSES!
LEAVE FUTURE ME ALONE!
You tell'em!
WE NOW WILL LEAVE!
I don't need to get a job know... I need a cup of coffee... But who to ask...
I have some
I do.
I do
I do
I do
I don't
Bugger off then... Oops, Sorry, Mia...
Mia?
I mean Maya.
I brought my favourite blend.
I'll get the milk
...
YOU COFFEE SUCKS!
boohoo!
You want mine?
Sure.
Here you are.
This is my favourite blend too! I'm full now, time to see Mia!
I'm coming too.
5 minutes later...
Ah, I'll go out with you tonight.
I know you... From somewhere... but OK.
2 metres away
C'mon, come out with me tonight!
It would be a break from my studying... But OK.
THAT NIGHT
Something's not right...

Time to check the mail! Hmm... Missle, Missle, Missle, Missle... hey, I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Daily Digust.

Wow, photos of rich and fancy people inside! That guy in that photo is so rich, that he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool! And that guy has shoes!

What? Er... I mean, meow.

Hey, what are you doing with my mail? I'll have you know that I can have you reported for stealing my magazine.

Edgeworth, how did those people become so rich?

They sell things to make money. Now if you excuse me, I have a date with music class. *leaves*

Pearly, I've got an idea! We'll be traveling saleswomen. But what can we sell? Quick, tell me what you want the most right now.

Um.... more time for thinking?

No, something real. Something that you would pay for.

Um... a cup of coffee?

Brilliant! We'll go door-to-door, selling cups of coffee! Soon we'll be living the fancy life!

*Later*

*Dingdong*

Hello?

Greetings sir. Can we interest you in some coffee?

Coffee? Did you say coffee?

Yes sir. With or without biscuits?

Coffee?! COFFEEEEEEE!!!! COFFEEEEEEE!!!! COFFEEEEEEE!!!!

*Maya, Pearl run away and Godot chases after them*

*Later once again*

*Dingdong*

Hello?

Greetings! We're selling cups of coffee, would you like to buy one?

Cups of coffee, eh? But do you really want to carry your goods like that?

*coffee cups are hidden in her underwear* I do this to protect myself from Damon Gant.

Damn, foiled again.

No-no-no. Wrong. You want to be good saleswomen, right?

Oh most certainly.

Then you two hookers wouldn't be caught dead, without my newest invention! Cups of Coffee carrying cases!

We'll take twenty.

*Maya and Pearl walk off*

*singing* Fancy livin', here we come! La-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaa!

*At another door*

*answers the door* Hello?

Hello, we're selling cups of coffee.

That sounds heavenly, I'll take one.

One cup of coffee, coming right up. *opens a bag, but another bag comes out.* Huh, eh? *continues to open bags, but gets nothing but bags*

*looks at wrist watch* Oh, I don't have time for this. *leaves*

One cup of coffee! Uh... wait... where did she go?

*Later at an ice cream parlor*

I just don't get it, Pearly. We haven't sold a single cup of coffee. We need a new approach.

I got it! Let's get naked!

No, we'll save that when we do real estate. I got it, maybe we'll try again... by flattering our customers! Let's go!

*Dingdong*

Hello?

I love you.

*shocked and quickly closes the door*

I think you went over the edge, Pearly. *dingdong*

P-please, go away...

*ahem* Um, hi. How are you doing?

How am I doing?

We're selling cups of coffee, wanna buy some?

We got him now!!

Sorry but coffee is brown, and anything brown makes me sneeze. Here's proof. *shows a photo of a 13-year old Grossberg covering in Will Power's hair, and sneezing* You can keep that for five bucks.

We'll take ten.

*Later*

Pearly, I think we are trying too hard.

*looking at photos and not listening* Um.. what?

Remember Pearly, focus.

*Dingdong*

Hello?

*eyes near closer and closer to Phoenix*

Hey, why is girly starring at me?

Focusing.

Back off jack! *closes the door and Pearl's eyes are caught*

Wow nice place you got here.

*Later*

Pearly, we're doing a pretty bad job at selling. I mean look at that. *points to a sign*

*Reads* Eat Polly Crackers, they're not just for parrots. They're gooood for anyone.

They certainly don't taste good at all.

Well maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many.

Good idea! We'll stretch the truth to sell our cups of coffee!

****

*Dingdong*

What is it?

Hello there, little boy. Can we speak to your mother, guardian or room mate?

...... ROOM MATE!! ROOM MATE!!

*wheels in, on a wheelchair* What? What? You just can't wait for me to die, don't you?

They're selling coffee!

WHAT?!

THEY'RE SELLING COFFEE!!

Coffee... I remember when they first invented coffee. Sweet, warm coffee. I always hated it!

Oh but this coffee isn't just for drinking, it's... for... it's...

You pour it on your skin, and it makes you live forever!

No-no-no-no-no!!

Forever, eh? I'll take one. C'mon you lazy Yogi, start pouring me with that coffee!

*Speaks to Maya and Pearl* I hate you. *closes door*

This is great Pearly! We'll just continue to make lies to make money!

****

You'll grow hair!

Great, my wife's trying to grow a beard!

****
It'll make you sound smarter.

i'LL tAk3 2o!11!

****

It'll keep you from getting any uglier!

Just in time!

*Later on*

*Maya and Pearl are covered in bandages* Heh-heh. This will be our best lie yet, this next guy will feel so sorry for us that he'll have to buy all of our coffee! *dingdong*

*In bandages and life-supporting equipment* Hello? How can I help you guys.

We're........ uh...... selling coffee..... to have an... operation.

Really? Small world eh? I was born with paper skin, and glass bones. Every morning I break my arms, and at night I break my legs. At night, I wait in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.

Oh my goodness! Is there anything, anything we can do to help you?

Well there is one thing. As you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high. Luckily I am able to keep myself alive by selling, coffee.

*Maya and Pearl buy all of his coffee and walk away*

Such nice fellas. It makes me happy... making suckers out of them! *reveals to be Wellington, in perfect health.*

Ahahahahaha!! *counts money bills*

****

Don't get me wrong Pearly, it's great that we helped that guy out. But now we don't have anyone else to sell coffee to. Let's just give up.

*appears* COFFFEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhh!! Please, please don't hurt us!

HAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY!!! I've been trying to catch you girls all day! NOW THAT I FINALLY GOT YOU WHERE I WANTED..... I'd like to buy all of your coffee! *shows millions of dollar bills*

*melts* Thank you for your interest...

****

Are we living the fancy life yet Mystic Maya?

Not yet Pearly, first we gotta spend all of the money... but what to spent it on....

*Later that night at an expensive restraunt*

Hello, table for one please.

Sorry, but the whole restraunt has been renting out by a private party.

What? But this is my only night to be fancy! Oh who could have rented out the whole restraunt anyway?

Apparently a duo of rich girls, and their dates.

So how long have you known eachother?

........

What? What did she say?


If anyone knows where I got this whole thing from, answer and you'll get a cookie.

---

Sponge bob.

---

Yeah, you're right. I'm pretty sure anyone would get where it came from. Well a cookie for you.

---

Yay! And I will use said cookie in my NEXT funny!

---

Spongebob, yeah, like Godotfan23 said

---

:D Can't wait to see the next funny of yours.

---

A "Phoenix Wright Funny" as sung to the tune of the Stonecutter's Song.

Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who hold back the electric car?
Who makes Jean Gutenberg...( )
A STAR?!
We do! We do!
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We...DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hint: A certain movie is coming out this summer.

---

THE SIMPSONS.

I'm thinking of my next bad funny.

Well, I've finally finished up! Lets hope I don't get any psychos on the first day!

*ding*

Hey there!

Maybe that was a little too much to ask for... OK, what do you want, pal?

Uh... I think I'll have a turkey sandwich on sowerdough bread.

...That's it? Ok it'll be done in a sec'! Heh, I expected your crazy alter ego to-

HEY! You forgot to order for me!

...Can't you just make up you're mind?

I'll have a cookie, and thank you for getting it for me free, right Shelly?

Yes sir. No charge to us. *cocks gun*

*sigh* OK, it'll be done in five to ten minutes.

SHELLY! Make yourself useful and go find us a table!

Very good, sir.

This isn't going too well. *sigh* NEXT... PAL!

Hi.

Let me guess, coffee?

...No, I'd like a bowl of tomato soup.

But wouldn't that mean you couldn't-

SHHHH!!!! Don't give anything away!

Oh, right. Sorry, pal.

OK, I'll be over there.

'Kay then! NEXT.......... PAL!

(DarzieP) Hey, Gumshoe! I'd like two cinnamon rolls!

Oh, I can get those for you now, pal!

What? I'm out... hm... I've got an idea. I'll call CI over.

(CI) You needed me?

Oh, there you are! Now, I need something from you... 200 CI brand cinnamon rolls!

(CI) OK! Heh, I thought you were going to say a joke about my hair.

You think I'm THAT stupid? Come on, pal.

A MINUTE LATER DOT DOT DOT

Here are your cinnamon rolls, Darzie!

(DarzieP) Thanks, Gumshoe!

NEXT............... BUDDY! I-I MEAN PAL!!!

COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE!!!!!

OK, then. What kind would you-

COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE!!!!!

I know, but we have lots of kinds of-

COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE!!!!!

LOOK, HERE'S A COOKIE!!! JUST TAKE IT AND GET THE HELL OUT!!!!

YAY! *glomps cookie then leaves*

This is crazy... but NEXT, PAL!

We're the doublemint twins!

OK, pals, what'll it be?

We came to film a commercial here!

I never authorized that.

*hands him a fat wad of cash*

Where would you like to film it?

We just did!

We're really cops cracking down on store owners who take bribes! You're under arrest.

*sigh* Oh well. I had a good run.

---

This is just my Larry/Maya fanboy in me that made me do this. I'll even post a fanart/pic of my OC/their kid whenever I get the chance. XDDD

Nick!! Guess what? I'm going to be a dad! =D
*slightly blushes but gives a kiss on the cheek after smiling at Larry*

We are so glad for two. Really! *glances at his boyfriend* Right, Edgeworth?
.....Hn.

We're going to have a son! ^^
Really? Got a name for him?
Seymour! I aways liked that name...
*raises brow* Seymour?
His full name will be Seymour Harry Butz!

...... (That poor kid. Fearing for his future already.)

---

In a world were both of our cars are underwater...

NOOOOOOOO!!! My sexy sports car is ruined!!!

Mine too!!! OH the humanity- hey wait a sec I don't have a car or even a license. W00t!

*flies away* *gets struck by lightning*

karma lol

Oh my aching head...

*goes back to office*

Hi Nick you have 234 case re- *screams* *faints*

Huh whats wrong with me *looks in mirror* NOOOOOOO

Join Phoenix Wright in his quest to get to his own body after being struck by lightning in...

Help I'm trapped in the annoying prosecutors body who loves coffee and hates me for some reason and by the way he probably slept with the chief.

There will be everything in this film...

Rated PG-13 opens everywhere September 25

LOL, Geicho. That started as Geicho.

---

Lol, Gumshoe working at a restruant... thing. And yay, the cookie I gave you was mentioned several times! :D

---

This is funny if you've seen Tenacious D Pick of Destiny.

I am complete!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Yes you are fucked! Shit out of luck! I am complete and my cock you will suck! This world will be mine! And you're first in line! You both bought the pick and you both shall now die!

Wait! Wait! Wait, you motherfucker! We challenge you to a rock-off! Give us one chance to knock your socks off...

FUCK... FUCK... FUCK! Prosecutor Code prevents me from declining a rock-off challenge! What are your terms? What's the ca-a-atch?

If we win... you must take your sorry ass back to hell. And also you will have to pay our rent!

And what if I win?

Then you can take Edgey back to hell.

... WHAT!?

Trust me, Edgey. It's the only way.

What the fuck are you talking about?

*to von Karma* To be your little BITCH!

FINE! Let the rock-off begin! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Giant speakers surround Karma, Phoenix, and Edgeworth. von Karma is hitting a drumset.

I'm von Karma! I love metal!

Karma suddenly has Garyuu's guitar in his hands.

Check this riff, it's fucking tasty!

Karma plays a guitar solo and then suddenly has a mic.

I'm von Karma, I can do what I want! Whatever I've got, I'm gonna flaunt! There's never been a rock-off that I've ever lost!

Karma pulls a sheet over the prosecution table and reveals a bunch of displayed sex toys to Phoenix and Edgeworth.

I can't wait to take Edgey back to hell! Gonna fill him up with prosecutor gel! Make him squeal like a scarlet pimpernel!

...

...

NO!!!!!

Karma stops and all the speakers disappear.

C'mon, Edgey! Let's fight his music... with some of ours!

There's just no way that we can win... that was a masterpiece...

Listen to me-

He rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man.

Goddammit, Edgey! He's gonna make you his sex slave. You're gonna gargle mayonaisse...

No...

Unless we bust out a monster mamma jam!

Dude, we've been through so much shit.

Deactivated lasers with my dick!

Now it's time to blow this fucker DOOOOWN!

C'mon, Edgey! Now it's time to blow doors down!

I hear ya, Phoenix. Now it's time to blow doors down.

Light up the stage, 'cause it's time for a showdown!

We'll bend ya over, then we'll take it around town.

Now we've got to blow this fucker down.

He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down.

Now it's time to blow this fucker down.

*to von Karma* Hey, antikrist- er... von Karma! We know your weakness... to rock your socks! We'll rock the cashbah, and blow your mind! We will defeat you FOR ALL MANKIND! You hold the scepter, we hold the key! You are von Karma! We are the D!

We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D! We are the D!

You guys are fucking lame! C'mon, Edgey! You're coming with me!

...

...

Taste my lightning, fucker!

A lightning bolt shoots from the taser to hit Edgeworth. Phoenix jumps in the way holding the dull magatama, which deflects the blast and hits von Karma's bullet.

Ah! FUCK! My arm!

Phoenix holds up the now-charged magatama, which absorbed some power from the taser.

Oh no!

From whence you came, you shall remain... until you are complete again!

A hole appears in the ground with fires flying up from it and starts pulling von Karma into it.

NOOOOOO!!!!! FUCK YOU EDGEY! AND FUCK YOU PHOENIX! I'll get you, Tenacious D!

von Karma disappears into the ground.

Wright, what did he mean when he said "Tenacious D?"

I dunno.

THE END

---

Last edited by Turbo on Fri Sep 07, 2007 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

And so... to continue with my work, with more Spongebob episodes featuring the PW cast.

Wahoo! The newspaper finally arrived! You can have this, Shoe.

Mreow. *reads newspaper*

All I need is the entertainment section! *puts elastic band onto arm, like a bracelet* I am a happy girl! Daaaaaahhaaaaaaaaaa!! *runs around*

*sighs*

*Maggy and Gumshoe run into eachother*

*wearing an elastic band on his arm* I see you found the newspaper.

Hello Maggy and Gumshoe!

Eeeeeek, Damon Gant!

I bring news!

Maggy, due to the requests of Maggy and Gumshoe pairing fans, you are now bearing Gumshoe's son.

WHAT?!

And that is all! Have fun! *runs away*

...........

*Later at the hospital*

The test results have came in. You are indeed pregnent, Maggy!

WHAT?!

*Later at Maggy's pineapple-shaped house*

I can't believe I am pregnent.

I can't believe this is not truthfully following that Spongebob episode, where Spongebob and Patrick find a baby oayster thing...

.........

Sorry.....

So what are we going to do now?

Well, according to the fans... I am the father, so I guess I have to move in with you.

French Accent Guy: Ah, ze L.A. Home of the Gumshoe residence... and of the famous Yogi Patty.

The money is always right!

French Accent Guy: Several months later.....

My water broke!

*Later at the hospital*

WHAT?!

Congratulations, you just gave birth to..... Polly!

Squack! Goo goo gaa gaa!

A male parrot..... named Polly....

French Accent Guy: Meanwhile...

Best prank ever! *claps*

French Accent Guy: Several weeks later....

-----

He sure looks peaceful, sleeping like that.

Yeah.... for a parrot.

*both climb into bed*

Maggy?

Yes Dick?

Why is this 'funny' becoming more lamer by the second?

.........

Sorry......

*The next day, morning*

*washing the windows, vaccumming, beating the dust out of a blanket, washing dishes, answering telephone calls at the same time.*

Oh boy, parenting makes me hungry! *eats everything on the table* Ahh....

*Squack* Waaaahhhhhhh!

Maggy?

*still busy* Yes Dick?

Kid's got a stinky, can you change his diaper?

But I can't, I'm too busy. Hey, where are you going?

Going to work, I'm the dad remember. Don't you two stop looking adorable! *leaves*

Heh..... ok....

French Accent Guy: 4:30 PM.

Whew, work was a killer.

*still busy* Oh, you're back! Now you can help me with the baby!

Very tired.... *sits at the TV and watches a sitcom* Haha! That guy got hit by a coconut!

But Diiiccck, I really want my break!

Tomarrow for sure!

French Guy: Tomarrow for sure.

*busy* Dick?

I'll get onto it eventally.

French Guy: Eventally.....

*busy and tired* D-dick?

Uhh...

French Guy: Uhh...

Dick Gumshoe, we need to talk.

Hey, I'm missing the coconut!

Who cares. We made a promise and you're not keeping it.

I changed his diaper.

Yeah, once!

He's very small, how much can he make anyway?

*shows trash bin* Hmmm?

Pfft, that's not a lot.

*opens the fridge* Hmmm?

So?

*rips the wall apart, reveals what's under the sofa and shows outside the window*

I-I had no idea! What kind of father am I?! I'll make it up to you, I'll help!

*The next day*

*gets ready for work*

So at 6 o' clock, ok?

Six o' clock, I promise.

French Guy: 12:00 AM

*finally comes in* Waha, that was a great party.... *hic*

......

Hello you two!

........

What's wrong?

Oh nothing.

Oh good, I thought you were ang-

What did I said this morning?

Something about root beer?

Does "Six o' clock, I promise." RING A BELL?!

Pffft, I don't need this.

Where are you going?!

I'm going back to work! *enters his 'first' house*

What? *follows*

*Maggy sees him watching a television*

So, this is work?

Now it's a lot harder than it seems. Sometimes I can't find the remote, and sometimes my butt itches real bad.

Oh you poor baby, by the way... you forgot your briefcase. *opens it and sweets fall onto Gumshoe*

So, this is what I get for working over time?

...OVER TIME?! *they both argue*

Squack, squack, squack!

.....What a stupid sound...

Oh that's not a stupid sound. That's Polly about to fall out of a window.....

POLLY?!

*Polly falls and they rush to catch him, but it's too late*

Did you catch him?

No....

We're bad parents! Waaahhhhhhhhh!!

*flying* Squack!

Polly? Look, he's flying! He's all grown up!

*kisses Maggy*

Heeeey, don't forget daddy! *coconut falls onto his head* Ow..... that's my boy...

Good bye!

There he goes, ready to start his own life.

This is the hardest thing a parent has to experience.

Despite all we went through, it was worth it.

Yeah...... let's have another!

---

A true one first:

Objection!
Yes? WHat is wrong, Mr Edgworth?
I... I objected to see if i could find something in that space of time, your honour.
Yes? And...?
[cue music stops]
... i didnt.

Wright, you know you became a lawyer because of me?
Yes.
And you got all depressed when I disappeared?
Yes...
Well, there's a dark secret behind that...
What is it?
It's embarrasing...
Look, whatever it is, I'll help you with it, OK?
I guess...
...
...
...and what is it?
I'm secretly a hobo...
Ack!
--------------------
And thats how I became a hobo!
...

Its bad, I know, but...

---

I love that Spongebob episode! Gumshoe is just as intelligent as Patrick!

---

Wright, I have something to reveal to you.
...OH GOD, THE FANFICS ARE TRUE, AREN'T THEY?
No! That's not even close!
...OK, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. What is it?
I'm a ninja.
...
Seriously, what is it?
That's what it is! I'm a ninja! I have a sword, I walk on walls, I throw shuriken and everything!
Give me proof.
Huh?
You always want proof from me. Now I want some from you.
OK, fine, Wright. This is a shuriken.
Oh, come on. You can buy those for a buck at Asian wonders.
How about... this?
Huh? Where'd you go? Edgeworth? EDGEWORTH?
I'm up here, Wright!
Oh my god, you actually are a ninja!
Told you.
Huh.
...
...
...
So, is there a reason you wanted to tell me this?
Oh, I just wanted to rub it in you're face. Ha ha! I'm a ninja! You're not!
Wait, then why aren't you wearing all black?
I'm a ninja lawyer. Ninja lawyers just have to wear cravats.
...So, wait. Does that make Manfred von Karma a ninja?
No, I think he just likes wearing cravats.
Ah.

---

*claps*

That was brilliant! I almost fell out of my chair laughing. Ninja Lawyers!

So, it is good?
Well that's a good sign! Maybe I'll write funnies more often!

---

"Is it Good?"
Do you like Coffee?

You should write more funnies. It's always nice to see someone working hard to bring humor to many others.

- "OH NOES there's gum on my Shoe...."
- "What? I find her attractive."
- "Meow...ow ow.."
- "..... I meant my shoe....."
- "......... Cough........"

---

Aahh... another great day of being a jerk!
Hello, Matt.
J... JUAN? You're dead!
Of course I'm dead! But this is a funny where anything can happen! And since I got a new smiley, I figured why not visit my 'old friend?'
DON'T KILL ME!!!!!!
Kill you? Why would I do that?
Well, I thought you hated me!
No, no! I always adored you! God, how I worshiped you! If I wasn't straight and married I'd say I love you!
Oh... well now I feel kind of bad... WAIT... YOU GOT MARRIED? TO WHO?
Me!
Oh. It's just you. Well anyway-
HEY! What do you mean 'just' me?
I thought he was gonna marry some freak.
What? Why?
Oh, uh... no reason! Heh heh!
Hm... OK then. Well I gotta get going.
Where to?
Away from you. You bore me.
...
DOUBLE-KILLIN' TIME!
Yes sir.

---

GF23, that was hilarious.

---

Are you ready for today's lesson Adrian?
Y-yes Franziska.
First cast the whip back then snap your wrist as you throw your arm forward! Like so! *CRACK!
Now you try.
Ok... Cast the whip back...
*whpsh!
AGGGH!!! YOU FOOL!
Eh?! S-so sorry Fransi-
If you're going to use a whip, at least put some strength into it!
That just now was hardly a scratch! AGAIN!
....

---

Continuing where we last left off....

:Well at least that's done and out of the way.

*lying dead in a pool of blood*

: Klondike bar tiem!!

*Meanwhile...*
: *daydreaming*
(thanks to Lydia aka Minuki for the picture ;D)



: *sigh* Oh Phoenix why do I love you so-

Hey Lyss!!

WHAT!!?? WHO DARES TO INTERUPT MY WONDERFUL FANTASY BETWEEN PHOENIX AND MYSELF!???

....um...what?

Oh...uh...heh heh.... D-Did I say Phoenix?? I meant Felix! Yeah that's right! Y'see I was a huge fan of Felix the Cat back in the day-

Who cares! Anyway, me and Wright here said we'd go and kill von Karma for a Klondike bar!

And well...we killed him! So do we get our Klondike Bars now??


: Oh that? Er...sorry guys, but I'm afraid we're all out of Klondike bars.

....

....

: So...uhh maybe you can come back... next week?

....

...

: Uh...guys?

....

....


WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO MORE KLONDIKE BARS!!??

: ....


: Well...fuck...

Hello to all the viewers that are possibly reading this funny. We are sorry to say that the following scene will now be cut off for the possible amount of violence that may occur. That and Lyss would like to apologize to all her viewers for the lack of humor in this funny and that you all have a nice day. Thank you.

---