Crack Theory Thread!

[Going for Miles]

No no no, this must be some heavenly mission.

WfG Whine?! Pah. Shit takes rhum.

[WaitingforGodot]

No no no, this must be some heavenly mission.

WfG Whine?! Pah. Shit takes rhum.

So... no false prophets whatsoever? I'm still a tad bit cautious.

Captain Morgan!!

[Going for Miles]

I think Airey is an archangel of some sorts... or Satan. That smiley looks neat here.

[WaitingforGodot]

I think Airey is an archangel of some sorts... or Satan. That smiley looks neat here.

Either or! You're Peter.

[AireyVerkhovensky]

I was looking for that "I can be either a devil or an angle" macro so I could shop Ema's face over it... unfortunately I could not find it.

[WaitingforGodot]

Damn! It's not faaaaaaiir!

[AireyVerkhovensky]

WAIT I FOUND IT.

[AireyVerkhovensky]

Edit: Whoopsies, double post.

[WaitingforGodot]

Beautiful! So, Gregory is God. Miles is Jesus. The Oldbags are some celestial beings. You are an archangel, Lucifer or a false prophet, and Miles is Apostle Peter, your rock. This sure is interesing. I wonder who I am in this celestial, religious rigmarole.

[AireyVerkhovensky]

Beautiful! So, Gregory is God. Miles is Jesus. The Oldbags are some celestial beings. You are an archangel, Lucifer or a false prophet, and Miles is Apostle Peter, your rock. This sure is interesing. I wonder who I am in this celestial, religious rigmarole.

You wanna be Mary Magdalene? The position's still open.

[WaitingforGodot]

Interesting. Very interesting. Then it means that... Miles Edgeworth cast seven demons out of me!

[AireyVerkhovensky]

Interesting. Very interesting. Then it means that... Miles Edgeworth cast seven demons out of me!

This thread is doing wonders for my photo-editing skills.

[WaitingforGodot]

This... is... beautiful...

[AireyVerkhovensky]

Oh, just you wait until we figure out who all the apostles are. Then we can edit the Last Supper.

[WaitingforGodot]

Oh, just you wait until we figure out who all the apostles are. Then we can edit the Last Supper.

Bwahahah!

[AireyVerkhovensky]

...I nominate either Kristoph Gavin or Manfred von Karma for Judas.
No. Wait. Yanni Yogi.

[WaitingforGodot]

...I nominate either Kristoph Gavin or Manfred von Karma for Judas.
No. Wait. Yanni Yogi.

Or Dahlia! Gosh, so many possible Judases! Judasi? Judi? Judass?

[AireyVerkhovensky]

...I nominate either Kristoph Gavin or Manfred von Karma for Judas.
No. Wait. Yanni Yogi.

Or Dahlia! Gosh, so many possible Judases! Judasi? Judi? Judass?

Maybe instead of 12 apostles there are 12 Judi.

[TheDoctor]

Ace Attorney: Return of the Judi

[WaitingforGodot]

Accepted and adopted.

[AireyVerkhovensky]

Ace Attorney: Return of the Judi

[WaitingforGodot]

[AireyVerkhovensky]

This just gets better and better.

[WaitingforGodot]

Things escalate quickly... and I love it.

[Rubia Ryu the Royal]

Dear Gregory, what have we done.

I seriously have no idea where I am right now.

All I know is, this is beautiful and grace-saving.

Praise Lord Edgeworth. Doth the angels in hence thread sing to thy glory.

- Pastor Rubia the Confounded Royal

[WaitingforGodot]

Are you there, Gregory Edgeworth? It's me, WaitingforGodot.

[AireyVerkhovensky]

And Gregory Edgeworth did so love that world that he sent his only begotten son, so that whosoever believes in him shall not commit crimes but be found guilty in a court of law.

[WaitingforGodot]

While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Manfred, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Miles to kiss him, but Miles asked him, “Manfred, are you betraying the Son of Law with a kiss?”

When Miles’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Prosecutor, should we point our fingers?” And one of them pointed at the servant of the high priest of injustice, poking his right ear.

But Miles answered, “Objection!”

[AireyVerkhovensky]

Manfred, you dick.

[WaitingforGodot]

Well, to be fair, things didn't end up very well for Manfred either...

[Rubia Ryu the Royal]

It was a little birdie who told him. It told him "It is time, Our Lord."

And so the Lord spoke, "Let there be confetti."

And there was confetti.

[AireyVerkhovensky]

I don't even need to edit this one.

"And now behold, I say unto you, that the foundation of the destruction of this people is beginning to be laid by the unrighteousness of your lawyers and your judges."

[WaitingforGodot]

The Law Became Flesh

In the beginning was the Law, and the Law was with Gregory, and the Law was Gregory. He was in the beginning with Gregory. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the justice of men. The justice shines in the darkness, and the injustice has not overcome it.
There was a man sent from Gregory, whose name was Shigaraki. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the law, that all might believe through him. He was not the law, but came to bear witness about the law.
The true law, which gives justice to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his justice, he gave the right to become children of Gregory, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of Justice.
And the Law became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his justice, justice as of the only Son from the Law, full of logic and truth. (Shigaraki bore witness about him.) For from his fullness we have all received, truth upon truth. For the Law was given through Gregory; logic and truth came through Miles Edgeworth. No one has ever seen Gregory; the only Gregory, who is at the Justices’ side, he has made him known.

The Testimony of Tateyuki Shigaraki

And this is the testimony of Shigaraki, when the Japanfornians sent crooks and law-abiding citizens to ask him, “Who are you?” He confessed, and did not deny, but confessed, “I am not Miles.” And they asked him, “What then? Are you one of the Judge?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the Prophet of Justice?” And he answered, “No.” So they said to him, “Who are you? We need to give an answer to those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” He said, “I am the voice of one crying out in the courtroom, ‘Make straight the way of the Law,’ as the Judge said.”
They asked him, “Then why are you teaching law, if you are neither Miles, nor the Juge, nor the Prophet of Justice?” Shigaraki answered them, “I teach defense, but among you stands one you do not know, even he who comes after me, the knot of whose cravat I am not worthy to untie.”

Behold the Lawyer of Gregory

The next day he saw Miles coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lawyer of Gregory, who takes away the crimes of the world! This is he of whom I said, ‘After me comes a man who ranks before me.’ And Shigaraki bore witness: “I saw the Justice descend from heaven like confetti, and it remained on him. I myself did not know him, but he who sent me to defend said to me, ‘He on whom you see the Justice descend and remain, this is he who teaches the Truth.’ And I have seen and have borne witness that this is the Son of Gregory.”

Miles Calls the First Lawyers

The next day again Shigaraki was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Miles as he walked by and said, “Behold, the Lawyer of Gregory!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Miles. Miles turned and saw them following and said to them, “What are you seeking?” And they said to him, “You.” He said to them, “I won’t stand for your childish emotionalism getting in the way of the truth!” So they came and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day, for it was about the tenth hour. One of the two who heard Shigaraki speak and followed Miles was Apollo, Phoenix’ brother. He first found his own brother Phoenix and said to him, “We have found the Son of Justice”. He brought him to Miles. Miles looked at him and said, “Wright, Wright, Wright…”

Miles Calls Klavier and Payne

The next day Miles decided to go somewhere. He found Klavier and said to him, “Is that your attorney's badge? Interesting.” Klavier found Payne and said to him, “We have found him, Miles Edgeworth.” Payne said to him, “Can anything good come out of a rookie?” Klavier said to him, “Come and see.” Miles saw Payne coming toward him and said of him, “I used every dirty trick in the book. And so my win record remained spotless!” Payne said to him, “How do you know me?” Miles answered him, “Before Klavier called you, I saw you.” Payne answered him, “Prosecutor, you are the Son of Gregory! You are the King of Prosecutors!” Miles answered him, “Because I said to you, ‘I saw you’ do you believe? I believe the correct term here is “You fail!” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see the courtroom opened, and the Oldbags of Gregory ascending and descending on the Son of Justice.”

[AireyVerkhovensky]

(THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ACE ATTORNEY)

This is new levels of brilliant.

[WaitingforGodot]

Merci!

[JesusMonroe]

The Law Became Flesh

In the beginning was the Law, and the Law was with Gregory, and the Law was Gregory. He was in the beginning with Gregory. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the justice of men. The justice shines in the darkness, and the injustice has not overcome it.
There was a man sent from Gregory, whose name was Shigaraki. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the law, that all might believe through him. He was not the law, but came to bear witness about the law.
The true law, which gives justice to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his justice, he gave the right to become children of Gregory, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of Justice.
And the Law became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his justice, justice as of the only Son from the Law, full of logic and truth. (Shigaraki bore witness about him.) For from his fullness we have all received, truth upon truth. For the Law was given through Gregory; logic and truth came through Miles Edgeworth. No one has ever seen Gregory; the only Gregory, who is at the Justices’ side, he has made him known.

The Testimony of Tateyuki Shigaraki

And this is the testimony of Shigaraki, when the Japanfornians sent crooks and law-abiding citizens to ask him, “Who are you?” He confessed, and did not deny, but confessed, “I am not Miles.” And they asked him, “What then? Are you one of the Judge?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the Prophet of Justice?” And he answered, “No.” So they said to him, “Who are you? We need to give an answer to those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” He said, “I am the voice of one crying out in the courtroom, ‘Make straight the way of the Law,’ as the Judge said.”
They asked him, “Then why are you teaching law, if you are neither Miles, nor the Juge, nor the Prophet of Justice?” Shigaraki answered them, “I teach defense, but among you stands one you do not know, even he who comes after me, the knot of whose cravat I am not worthy to untie.”

Behold the Lawyer of Gregory

The next day he saw Miles coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lawyer of Gregory, who takes away the crimes of the world! This is he of whom I said, ‘After me comes a man who ranks before me.’ And Shigaraki bore witness: “I saw the Justice descend from heaven like confetti, and it remained on him. I myself did not know him, but he who sent me to defend said to me, ‘He on whom you see the Justice descend and remain, this is he who teaches the Truth.’ And I have seen and have borne witness that this is the Son of Gregory.”

Miles Calls the First Lawyers

The next day again Shigaraki was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Miles as he walked by and said, “Behold, the Lawyer of Gregory!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Miles. Miles turned and saw them following and said to them, “What are you seeking?” And they said to him, “You.” He said to them, “I won’t stand for your childish emotionalism getting in the way of the truth!” So they came and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day, for it was about the tenth hour. One of the two who heard Shigaraki speak and followed Miles was Apollo, Phoenix’ brother. He first found his own brother Phoenix and said to him, “We have found the Son of Justice”. He brought him to Miles. Miles looked at him and said, “Wright, Wright, Wright…”

Miles Calls Klavier and Payne

The next day Miles decided to go somewhere. He found Klavier and said to him, “Is that your attorney's badge? Interesting.” Klavier found Payne and said to him, “We have found him, Miles Edgeworth.” Payne said to him, “Can anything good come out of a rookie?” Klavier said to him, “Come and see.” Miles saw Payne coming toward him and said of him, “I used every dirty trick in the book. And so my win record remained spotless!” Payne said to him, “How do you know me?” Miles answered him, “Before Klavier called you, I saw you.” Payne answered him, “Prosecutor, you are the Son of Gregory! You are the King of Prosecutors!” Miles answered him, “Because I said to you, ‘I saw you’ do you believe? I believe the correct term here is “You fail!” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see the courtroom opened, and the Oldbags of Gregory ascending and descending on the Son of Justice.”

10/10

Best post I've ever seen on this forum

Best post I've ever seen. I'm still laughing. This is brilliant

[WaitingforGodot]

Eheh. Ehehe.

[Rubia Ryu the Royal]

I'M DYING HERE. Goodbye, good world. My faithful disciples have spoken.

[Going for Miles]

For once in a while things are happening around here and I'm sleeping through it. Guess I really am Peter. At least I've got the keys to the gates.

[WaitingforGodot]

I'M DYING HERE. Goodbye, good world. My faithful disciples have spoken.

Oh, High Priest!

Miles, yes, after this, your title is well earned! (And I won't make that Pearly Gate-thing an innuendo, I really won't. It would be way too easy.)