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After A LOT of help from Airey, the sporking is finally finished.
Today's fic is
MagicSpiritdu05 by FreezeThunder.
Rating:
Two Sahwits. Actually, I find this fic pretty funny, but the premise is weird and kind of disturbing when you stop to think about it. Also, the writing could be better and it gets smutty at times.
And today's sporkers are...
Apollo Justice !"I have a bad feeling about this."
Athena Cykes!"Don't worry, Apollo! We'll make it through!"
Trucy Wright!"Yeah! Everything will be fine as long as Mr. Hat is with us!"
Phoenix Wright!"Why is Trucy here for a 'smutty' fic?"
Ema Skye!"*munches Snackoos*"
and...
Miles Edgeworth!"I'd ask 'why is it always me?' but I already know the answer.
[
We open up in our sporking theatre, where Ema Skye and Miles Edgeworth are already seated. The remaining sporkers are pushed in by Lang's goons.]
Kay: It seems everybody is finally here!
Phoenix: Kay? You weren't on the sporker list.
Kay: So?
Apollo: You'd think the management would have enough with six sporkers.
Speakers:
The Management would like to remind Apollo Justice that questioning the Management's decisions is strictly forbidden.All: !?
Phoenix: Is the old management back?
Speakers:
An interesting deduction, indeed. But wrong, I'm afraid.Phoenix: You!? But then... whose voice was...?
Speakers:
Zvarri. The truth has once again been elegantly revealed to me. You're, in fact, completely clueless. Will you be able to unfold the truth before the fic starts?Athena: Easy! There's two people up there.
Speakers:
Phwwh! Ahahahahahhahaha! That look on your face just now! Hahahahahaha! Thinking that you're right! Hahahaha!Edgeworth: ! That woman!
Speakers:
Any story you want to share, Little Worthy? This is quite entertaining.Trucy: Just how many people are there?
Speakers:
Mais zis madmoiselle is all alone. Enough. You have one minute to figure it out or you'll face the consequences.Apollo: Wait. Consequences!?
Ema: It couldn't be worse than this theatre.
Edgeworth: Yes. It can.
Phoenix: Was that Manfred von Karma? But he's supposed to be...
Speakers:
Aren't you going to even attempt a bluff? You disappoint me, Wright.All: !?
Kay: Mr. Edgeworth? But he's right here!
Edgeworth: Why is my voice's color pink?
Speakers:
It's not pink. It's magenta.Phoenix: Does this means you've been faking all the voices?
Speakers:
Finally, Justice triumphs! Ha ha ha ha!Apollo: Why are you even doing this?
Speakers:
You can't make a blend without crushing the beans. That's one of my rules.Athena: What's that even supposed to mean?
Speakers:
I always mean what I say and say what I mean.Phoenix: Just ignore him or we'll be stuck here forever.
Apollo: Do any of you know anything about today's fic?
Kay: I only know that it's rated M and stars Trucy and Pearl.
Phoenix: We're outta here.
[
Phoenix drags Trucy out of the theater, but Lang's goons quickly push them in again.]
Phoenix: I'm not going to survive this one.
Speakers:
Phoenix, it's in the worst of times when lawyers have to force their biggest smile.Phoenix: You've just crossed the line.
Edgeworth: As if the Management ever cared about the line.
Trucy: Look! The fic is starting!
[
The lights dim and the fic starts]
Quote:
The thunder roared into the night, with the lighting gleaming alongside it.
Kay: A wild purple prose appeared!
Athena: Maybe they're trying to set up the mood for a murder mystery?
Phoenix: I could live with that, knowing the alternatives.
Quote:
It played an marvelous tune for 2 lovers tonight. As they opened the door, wrapped around each other like vines.
Edgeworth: And that's why you should abandon all hope before entering this place.
Phoenix: We get it, Edgeworth.
Quote:
Apollo Justice and Athena Cykes, colliding and gleaming just like the thunder and lighting.
Apollo, Athena: *stare, blush, look away*
Speakers:
The Management would like to remind Apollo Justice and Athena Cykes that they're to look at the screen at all times.Athena: But this is so awkward...
Ema: *munching Snackoos* What are you so embarassed about? The purple prose makes it really hard to tell what you're even doing. Is gleaming a metaphor for something or are they actually shining?
Trucy: Then they should call a doctor.
Kay: They're already playing doctor.
Edgeworth: Kay! There are underaged girls here.
Kay: Yeah. And I'm one of them!
Quote:
Athena moved her arms up and down his slim body, those tracks sessions with sure paid off for her.
Speakers:
I didn't know you have a slim body, Herr Forehead.Apollo: ...
Trucy: I'm not sure what it's trying to say. I think there's a missing word or something.
Ema: I think what the author is trying to say is that she's been exercising with him so he'll grow muscle and she'll enjoy their... interactions more.
Kay: That's actually kind of disturbing.
Quote:
Apollo felt her hair, her long orange silk-like hair, he untied her blue bow and threw it on the floor continuing making out with the psychologist. Apollo pushed Athena onto the bed, and then began to...
Speakers:
The Management would like to remind Apollo Justice and Athena Cykes that they're to look at the screen at all times. Again.Phoenix: You should do as he says if you don't want to end up in a punishment sporking.
Edgeworth: I'd agree with you if it wasn't for the fact that the Management is a bunch of sadists who don't need a reason to torture us.
Phoenix: You mean the current Management or the old one?
Edgeworth: Both.
Speakers:
So you think you've already seen our worst and we can't come up with something more horrible? Well, then... hee... hee... hee...Athena: I... want to get out of here.
Edgeworth: You're two non blood-related adults having consensual and apparently standard sexual intercourse. Don't complain.
Quote:
"Athena should push Polly onto the bed" Trucy said
"Does it really matter?" Pearl asked
All: !
Kay: Are Trucy and Pearl... watching Apollo and Athena making out?
Ema: And commenting on it.
Edgeworth: Why don't I live up to my own words?
Quote:
"Pearly! In every relationship there's a dominate and submissive, Athena is 110% dominate!" Trucy huffed, placing her hands on her hips.
Edgeworth: Dominant, author. You mean 'dominant'.
Speakers:
Hey! I'm not 110% dominant! Yeah, only like 85% or so. Take that back right now! The defense rests, Your Honor.Phoenix: What are you doing?
Speakers:
If they're not going to spork, I'll have to do it for them.Ema: You know, there wasn't really a reason for Trucy to huff over something like that.
Kay: Yeah. That was harsh.
Trucy: T-That's not me up there.
Quote:
"...yeah, you're right" Pearl apologized and tapped on the laptop's keyboard.
Ema: So they weren't only commenting on it, they were writing a review.
Phoenix: This gets more disturbing by the second.
Edgeworth: I'm not surprised.
Quote:
If your asking what are these do talking about, it's simple.
Phoenix: Let's hope so.
Edgeworth: Simple and disturbing are not mutually exclusive.
Quote:
Ever since Athena came into the Wright Anything Agency, she and Apollo have had a connection with each other, almost like best friends or more. And Pearl and Trucy have decided to take it upon themselves to try to get them together...with no avail.
Ema: What were they expecting? Meddling only works in movies and fanf... oh.
Quote:
So what's the next logical thing do? Write fanfiction about them!
Edgeworth: Nngh! That reasoning alone took away half of my truth bar.
Phoenix: I guess this explains everything. Although it's still disturbing.
Trucy: So then Apollo and Athena's part was a fic within a fic?
Ema: And the spork could be considered a fic, so it's actually a three layers of fic.
Speakers:
The management would like to remind Ema Skye that meta-commentary is strictly forbidden.Phoenix: But something is off here. If they're writing about people who are real in their universe, it's not fanfiction.
Trucy: Then it's some kind of biography?
Ema: No. Biographies are real stories about real people, and what they're writing never happened.
Trucy: So what are fictional stories about real people called?
Edgeworth: Character defamation.
Ema: *munches Snackoos* Maybe they're aware that they're fictional characters. We are, after all.
Speakers:
That extreme violation of the fourth wall shall not be tolerated. Kay Faraday, remove Ema Skye from the theatre.Edgeworth: Wait. It was that easy!?
All:...
Speakers:
Kay Faraday!All:...
Trucy: She's not here.
Speakers:
You're not the boss of me!Phoenix: That was pretty pathetic.
Quote:
Trucy and Pearl share an account named MagicSpiritdu05, where they have written their stories about the 2 lawyers, ranging from simple drabbles,to oneshots, to long one-shots, and even lemons.
Ema: What's this about lemons?
Phoenix: I don't know. All I can think of is Marvin Grossberg.
Edgeworth: Now those were two things I didn't need to relate, Wright.
Phoenix: You know what it means? I didn't know you were familiar with fanfiction slang.
Edgeworth: My areas of expertise are wide, Wright.
Quote:
These two got really into this couple, which they have dubbed "Justicykes". Right now, they were adding a chapter to their multific called "Mixing Colors", with Pearl writing the chapter and Trucy being the beta reader, they kept swapping roles every time they wrote chapter or a story.
Trucy: But 'Mixing Colors' could be anything. If it's about Apollo and Athena, it should be, like... 'Orange' or something.
Ema: And it would still be too ambiguous.
Edgeworth: That's what tags and descriptions are for.
All else: ...
Edgeworth: My areas of expertise are wide.
Quote:
Athena laid Apollo onto to the bed and began to go deeper.
Phoenix: And we're back to the fic within the fic.
Ema: 'Began to go deeper'? Into what?
Edgeworth: Do you really want an answer to that question?
Trucy: No, no, it's like in Inception. They just need to go deeper in general.
Apollo: ...that was lame.
Phoenix: And this thing has enough layers already.
Quote:
Their tongues intertwined with one another, allowing to open up the gate to each other's saliva.
Phoenix: Who describes a kiss like this!?
Edgeworth: Someone trying to win the award for the most absurdly convoluted description of the year. Which apparently is what Trucy and Pearl are going for.
Ema: But really, 'the gate to each other's saliva'? What are they thinking?
Trucy: I told you, t-that's not me!
Quote:
She tasted like oranges, just ripely picked on a farm. He tasted like coffee, and felt that hot sensation of the...
"I don't know if that'll work" Trucy said
"Why not?" Pearl asked
"I just can't picture Polly tasting like coffee"
Ema: What does she know about how Apollo tastes?
Phoenix: We're going to drop this line of conversation right now and never bring it up again.
Quote:
"Well, what should he taste like?"
"Like...ooooh, chocolate from all the snackoos Ema throws at him"
Ema: Most of the time, they don't end up in his mouth.
Trucy: Oh! You could try that some day! Like the seals at the aquarium!
Ema: If it's for scientific purposes, count me in.
Apollo: ...count me out.
Quote:
"Okay then" Pearl then retyped her sentence.
He tasted like chocolate, almost like hot chocolate on a cold winter day, served with marshmallows.
Ema: That's... a pretty weird taste for a human tongue.
Edgeworth: How can the fact that it's served with marshmallows affect the chocolate's flavor in any way?
Quote:
"Now I'm hungry" Trucy interruppted again
Speakers:
I'm hungry, too. Nick, buy me a burger.Phoenix: Maya, one of the few good things about the sporking theatre is that there's plenty of free food, so my wallet doesn't have to suffer in order to feed you and... this guy just dragged me into his stupid game, didn't he?
Speakers:
Caw caw caw! Behold the demon lord of the Management!All: ...
Quote:
"Me too, what do you have for snacks?" Pearl asked
"Well let's see..." Trucy then took out her "magic panties" and began digging inside them with Pearl watching in awe.
Trucy: Hey! What are those quotation marks around 'magic panties'!? They're real magic panties!
Phoenix: At least your audience is watching in awe.
Quote:
Ever since the Big Berry case a few years ago, Pearl has been ever so interested in magic. And when she met Trucy, she was blown away by her tricks, by far her favorite was Mr. Hat and knife throwing act.
Trucy: *pulls out Mr. Hat* Of course! Who doesn't like Mr. Hat!?
Phoenix: I'm more worried about the knife throwing part.
Quote:
"Okay we have...potato chips, a watermelon, some cookies, and yogurt" Trucy said pulling them out respectively.
"I want chips"
"Okay, try not to get them on my keyboard though" Trucy said handing her friend the bag as Pearl kept typing away.
Ema: Was there a point to this scene?
Edgeworth: It's better than watching Wright's employees get intimate.
Quote:
They began to lick each other down each others necks and cheeks, almost like wild animals.
Edgeworth: Why can't I keep my mouth shut?
Phoenix: Almost like wild animals?
Ema: They seem more like domestic animals to me.
Trucy: ?
Ema: I mean dogs. They're licking each other's
cheeks.
Quote:
Next they began to strip each other clothes, Apollo flipped Athena over and started...
"*Mucnh* Athena is dominate *Munch* *Munch*" Trucy said chewing on the chips, Pearl glared at her for a second before fixing the sentence again.
Edgeworth: Dominant, author. Dominate is a verb. You can't use it to describe people. And the munch noises are unnecesary if you're already telling us that she's chewing the chips.
Trucy: She didn't need to glare at fic-me...
Ema: Apparently writing smut about their friends is serious business for these two.
Quote:
Athena, who was still ON TOP, began to unbutton Apollo' red and black suit vest. Apollo was eating away at her neck, almost making it difficult for Athena, but she has faced bigger challenges before.
Ema: With that description, it sounds like he's literally eating her neck.
Phoenix: No wonder it's making it difficult for her. She must be bleeding a lot.
Speakers:
Unbuttoning that vest of yours would be piece of cake for me! Athena, if you say things like that, people will keep writing fics like these.Apollo: Fine, fine, we'll spork, but stop doing that. It's creepy.
Edgeworth: For the record, people will keep writing fics like these no matter what you do.
Athena: ...
Ema: I don't think she's going to spork a lot.
Phoenix: Well, it's the first time she has to see herself... like this.
Edgeworth: In the end, all of us will be plunged in despair.
Apollo: How optimistic of you to think there's an end.
Quote:
She finally succeeded in striped the boy down to nothing but his boxers, with him hard.
Phoenix: *covers Trucy's eyes*
Speakers:
The Management would like to remind Phoenix Wright that all sporkers are to look at the screen at all times.Phoenix: You have to draw the line somewhere!
Speakers:
The Management would like to inform Phoenix Wright that we don't intend to draw any lines.Quote:
Now Apollo then began to flip the girl over...
Trucy: Didn't he flip her over before?
Ema: Nah, they changed it. But Pearl must have a strange obsession with Apollo flipping Athena over, to write the exact same sentence twice.
Phoenix: What is she? A pancake?
Athena: ...
Apollo: C'mon Athena, it could be worse.
Speakers:
I hope you're not having impure thoughts, Justice-dono.Apollo: I'm just glad she's not underaged this time.
Speakers:
Barely.Phoenix: Moving on.
Quote:
"Athena is..." Trucy stopped when Pearl glared at her again. She knew the drill by now.
Edgeworth: Dominant, author.
Phoenix: She didn't even get to say it this time.
Edgeworth: My apologies. I'm used by now.
Ema: If she knew the drill, she wouldn't have committed the exact same error.
Quote:
Athena, STILL ON TOP, began her turn to suck at Apollo neck.
Athena: What's with all the emphasis in 'STILL ON TOP'!? What kind of sex maniac do these people think I am?
Apollo: At least you're not a dummy who doesn't do anything.
Trucy: Maybe fic-fic-you is actually a dummy.
Phoenix: Trucy, don't make this worse than it already is.
Ema: Nah, he's alive. He ate away her neck before, remember?
Phoenix: Yeah, she's the one who should be dead by now.
Quote:
He removed her yellow and white suit till she was in her bra and underwear.
Athena: Stop staring at the screen! You bunch of pervs!
Edgeworth: As if we have a choice.
Larry: Someone called me?
Phoenix: Larry! Where did you come from?
Kay: I smuggled him in, obviously.
Edgeworth: If you can smuggle people in and out, why don't you get us all out of here!?
Kay: Because I can only smuggle people in.
Trucy: Well, the more the merrier.
Athena: I'm naked on the screen!
Apollo: We know... why are you glaring at me?
Quote:
But he didn't stop there, Apollo began to unhook the bra revealing Athena's big breasts.
Athena: *turns red, hides behind her seat*
Speakers:
You know, I don't think you beat my Sis. I don't think you beat Marvin Grossberg.Phoenix: I don't think Maya would say something like that.
Speakers:
Someone had to say it.Quote:
For the final act, they start thrust each others bodies at each other, creating moaning sounds from both of them. They started going faster, and faster, and even more faster. They were both at the breaking point, and in a few swift movements...
Phoenix: *covers Trucy's eyes*
Speakers:
Phoenix Wright! Don't make us repeat ourselves! *whip-crack*Phoenix: HOW!?
Larry: Are these guys making love?
Edgeworth: I think so, but with that description is hard to tell.
Ema: It's not very erotic, scientifically speaking.
Apollo: Ema!
Ema: What? That's why people read these things, isn't it? I mean, not the fic fic, but the fic within the fic.
Edgeworth: Well, it's been written by two presumably virgin teenagers.
Phoenix: Really, Edgeworth? Presumably?
Edgeworth: Need I remind you of the golden rule of the sporking theatre, Wright?
Phoenix: ...things always can and always will get worse.
Quote:
"Trucy! Pearly! We're back!" Athena yelled coming through the front door, with Apollo right behind her
Trucy: Oh! The real you!
Apollo: That's not me up there!
Phoenix: He still hasn't done anything wrong.
Apollo: Better safe than sorry.
Kay: I bet they end up making out just like in the fic.
Phoenix: I bet against.
Larry: I'm with Nick.
Kay: What about you, Athena?
Athena: *still hiding under her seat*
Trucy: I don't think Athena's okay. Can't you do something, Management?
Speakers:
*yawn* I'm pretty sleepy right now so... just lock the door when you leave.Phoenix: Did he really leave?
Apollo: Who knows.
Quote:
"We're back from Eldoons, we got you both a bowl!" Apollo also yelled coming in.
Apollo: A bowl of noodles isn't exactly carryout food.
Ema: Yeah. Were you carrying it in your hands all the time?
Trucy: Now it'll be all cold.
Quote:
"Pfffftt! Oh fridge, there here!" Trucy panicked
Trucy: W-what am I saying here?
Edgeworth: 'Fridge' is clearly a euphemism, and 'there' should actually be 'they're'.
Trucy: Oh. And what about the 'Pffffft!'?
Apollo: It doesn't sound like a sound someone'd make in panic.
Edgeworth: Unless they were drinking something and they spat it out.
Ema: But she wasn't drinking anything.
Edgeworth: Nnngh! The fic... is defeating me.
Quote:
"What now?!" Pearl asked a bit frantic
"Uh...just..just save it, we'll work on it later" Trucy said. Pearl hit the save button on Trucy's laptop, and was greeted by the slowest saving bar ever.
Apollo: Woah. A slow save bar. Talk about first world problems.
Ema: I'd call it sick girls problems. Really, what you're doing is not normal.
Trucy: That's not me!!
Quote:
"Your laptop is so slow! It'll never save!" Pearl said
"I know, I hope to get a new one for Christmas. Daddy has a lot of old junk" Trucy said
Phoenix: Well, I'm not buying you a laptop so you can write smut about your friends.
Trucy: But Daddy! I always keep things T-rated.
Phoenix: You told me you need it for school.
Trucy: Y-yeah. I always keep my homework T-rated. That's what I meant.
Quote:
"Hey, where are they?" Athena asked outside in the main entrance
"Probably in their rooms, let's check Trucy's room" Apollo suggested.
Phoenix: Their rooms? Why is Pearls living in my house?
Apollo: And why do we assume they're in Trucy's room if nobody answered us?
Quote:
Now they were in serious trouble, their work wasn't saved fully yet, and the lawyers were literally steps away from Trucy's room
"Gah! Just close the laptop!" Trucy said, she pushed Pearl back and closed the laptop just before Athena and Apollo entered the room.
Ema: Why are they reacting to this as if their lives were on the line?
Apollo: They'll be on the line if I figure out what they're doing.
Trucy: That's mean, Polly.
Quote:
"Hey Polly, Thena" Trucy greeted nervously
"Hello" Pearl aslo greeted with a nervous smile
"Hey, we got Eldoons for you both"
"Oh um...that's okay. We...we have chips" Trucy replied nervously
"Yep, yummy yummy chips of potato, uh heh heh heh" Pearl agreed. Now normally if this were any two people they would just leave, but these two could sense their lies like second nature.
Trucy: That's really rude of us, after they've gone through all the effort of bringing a bowl of noodles.
Ema: You don't need special abilities to notice that they're obviously hiding something, anyway.
Quote:
"...What are you doing anyway?" Apollo asked
"Oh...um..girl things" Trucy answered
"Y-yeah, things about girls"
"Those thingy things"
"The thingiest"
...this was not working for them
Edgeworth: Thank you for stating the obvious, narrator.
Larry: We're going to go back to the smut eventually, right?
Kay: Yeah.
Phoenix: No.
Ema: Maybe.
Speakers:
Spoiler a~~~~~~~~~lert.Hugs in this fic are over.Larry: Then so am I.
Edgeworth: Why is he allowed to leave?
Speakers:
Don't worry, Edgey-poo! I'll never abandon you!
Edgeworth: Nnngh! Just how many nightmares do you intend to make us relive?
Phoenix: Weren't you sleeping?
Speakers:
As the Drifting Virtuoso I am, I can switch from asleep to awake at will. Not like you third-rate sporkers.
All: ...
Quote:
"...okay, c'mon Athena let's watch TV in the living room" Apollo said walking away, with Athena soon following him.
Kay: And now they're going to watch TV alone? They're so going to make out.
Ema: Why does Apollo keep ordering her around? Wasn't she '110% dominate'?
Apollo: Maybe that was just Trucy's imagination.
Trucy: *sad* That's not me.
Quote:
"Are sure they're okay?" Athena asked
"Athena, when you have her for a sister, you just don't question what she does anymore" Trucy then slammed her door closed, and the two friends sighed in relief.
Apollo: What's with fanfiction writer and making Trucy my sister!?
Phoenix: ...truly, a mystery we may never be able to solve.
Apollo: But it doesn't add anything to the story! It's there just for the sake of being there!
Edgeworth: Don't question the fic, Justice.
Kay: Just as you don't question Trucy's business.
Trucy: Hey!
Quote:
"That was close" Pearl sighed
"Yeah, let's just finish the chapter and call it a day" Trucy suggested with Pearl nodding in agreement. Pearl opened the laptop back up, hit a few butttons on the laptop still had a black screen.
"Hmm, that's weird" Pearl said, confused by the laptop being unresponsive.
Kay: Oops. Trouble.
Apollo: No great loss.
Quote:
"What?" Trucy asked. Pearl didn't listen at first, still trying her best to get the laptop to work. She then chose to try the power button, she hit that, and the screen still remained black. And that's when it hit her.
Edgeworth: She only now realizes what has happened?
Quote:
"Oh no!"
"What? What?! What's wrong?"
"...your battery's dead, I don't think it saved"
"...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Apollo: Serves them right.
All else: ...
Apollo: What? You all were thinking it and you know it.
Ema: I don't think their fic was over 100 words. It's not worth that scream.
Edgeworth: And the quality left to be desired.
Phoenix: Why don't they keep the laptop plugged in if they're at home?
Quote:
"Are you SURE we shouldn't check on them?" Athena asked, hearing Trucy wail, interruptting them from the Steel Samurai DVDs
"Nah, I'm sure their fine" Apollo said
Apollo: Athena, if you want to check on them, just do it. You don't need my permission.
Trucy: You could show a little bit of concern.
Phoenix: At least he's in character.
[
The lights come back on]
Athena: *runs out of the theatre*
Apollo: Do you think she'll recover?
Edgeworth: Probably. She'll just lose all hope, like the rest of us.
Phoenix: Anyway, they didn't make out. I won the bet. Where's Kay?
Ema: Not here.
Phoenix: Why am I not surprised?
Ema: Because it's not surprising.
Phoenix: Well, let's just leave. I need to check out Trucy's browser history.
Trucy: Daddy!
Phoenix: I won't be able to sleep if I don't, Trucy.
[
And so, another sporking ends. Will the sporkers have to face more fics or have the management had enough? Pwwht. Sorry, I couldn't say that without laughing.]