plz forkiv me if this post dosnt make sense, but my brane just went boom doo to bad mentil emages. Anyways, ROFLOLMAO!
Now, for my joke.

(Testifying in court when nick is defendant) Nick would never do anything wrong. He wouldn't even cheat on a test!

Ummmmmm.....yeah.....
-------------
back in high school
:nixxi: Dang it! Edgeworth missed school today! Hey, umm, Larry, can I copy off of your test?
NO!
:nixxi: Why not?
Because I always copy off of you after you copy off of Edgeworth!
-------------
Yep. It's not funny. The end is also going to be a part of a series of skits in a future comedy fan-fic.

---

That was the entire point.

Why would you do something that mean Mr. Chinese Infantry

Because I am an adult, and I can.

Don't steal my lines!

Shut up and go back to your Yaoi relationship with your good personality.

---

Lawcalypse Part 2

Okay, everyone, here are your new Attorney Phones like you asked for.

Missle dumps a box with several phones falling out; all of them look like Wellington's phone.

I don't remember asking for phones.

Me neither.

I didn't want any phones!

What gives?

Yeah, pal?

Listen, you thought of this idea when you were all drunk.

You know well how we get excited over bad ideas when we're drunk. Why didn't you talk us out of it?

I tried to, but you all threatened to neuter me.

Well... you know we weren't serious.

I had no choice, but anyway, you have to deal with your next case at the old courthouse downtown. They're still mad about you almost destroying the place last time.

Dammit.

---

Later, everyone shows up at the old courthouse, and Nick turns to face the audience.

Look everyone. We aren't good at apologizing and stuff. But we want to say we're sorry. To make it up, I have a special opening statement in store for you all: it came from the Necronomicon for Cats.

Everyone panics as Phoenix takes out a paper and starts reading.

Awaken! Awaken! Awaken! Awaken! Take the land that must be taken! Awaken! Awaken! Awaken! Awaken! Devour worlds, smite, forsaken!

People in the courthouse run away as a giant cat rises from behind Phoenix at the defense bench.

MRRRRRRRROOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!!

Ahck! Run!

Soon, a giant cat is running amok on the city, and smashing power lines and buildings.

---

As you can see, we have a problem with a giant cat running loose on the world.

Nonsense! There's no such thing as giant cats! That's a myth!

Then how do you explain the dead unicorns!?

Luckily, we suppressed any footage of the cat on a rampage, so we can deal with this problem now. I think the best time to make our move would be-

No! We will wait until the right time...

---

Phoenix, Maya, Edgeworth, Larry, and Gumshoe are safe at the Wright and Co. Law Offices as the giant cat is outside destroying everything.

Damn, the power's out; now I can't check my email on lightning fast DSL anymore.

Gumshoe is on the couch talking on his Attorney Phone.

Yeah, I know, pal! Uh huh. Yeah, pal. Yes... I know! That's funny, pal!

My phone won't let me make any outgoing calls.

Wait, do these phones only have one phone line!? That's brutal!

Detective, get off the phone!

Okay, as soon as I check my messages!

Gumshoe presses keys on his phone to check messages.

Operator's voice of Hello, you have now entered your messages area on your Attorney's Phone account. If you would like to check the messages that you have received from others when you were unable to answer the phone in the alloted time, press one, seven, three, and five; if you would like to save or create any new messages of which you would like to send to others, then press zero, star, five, five, nine, star; if you would like to-

Woah, they're designed to eat up your minutes.

And nighttime minutes start after midnight.

BRUTAL!

Voice of And if you would like the service to repeat the directions of which you have been given just now, then please hang up and try checking your messages again and the instructions will be repeated to you in a manner for you to check your messages. We will now disconnect you in order for you to do that.

Phone disconnects Gumshoe.

DAMN!

We still can't check our email.

I'm so mad right now that I want a drink! And not the one I'm holding; a different one! And somewhere else!

Me too, pal!

I want a drink too!

Okay, I didn't want to say this, but this cat thing is affecting your reputation as attorneys and several people and places no longer want your services! There, I said it!

Way to make us feel more depressed!

I'm so depressed that I need a hundred beers.

---

Everyone leaves to a bar in town.

Yeah, I'd like a hundred beers.

Sorry, we don't serve people that summon giant cats.

Well, how are we going to stop it?

Ayup, I know how to stop it. You need to play a song to it.

Hello! We're not musicians! Besides, we have no instruments.

Ayup, follow me.

Yogi leads them to a box. He opens it and reveals a bunch of wooden instruments inside.

Are those... chairs?

No, they're grandpas guitars.

You're all wrong. They're acoustic. You guys have to learn to play the song in this book. Good luck.

Look, I know acoustic sucks and totally isn't brutal, but we have to do this if we ever want to check our email with high speed DSL ever again.

Everyone is rehearsing, and sounds good, but Larry suddenly stops.

Larry, why did you stop?

I have a confession to make guys. I can't read music.

Ha! Larry can't read music! What a lau-

Can you!?

...no.

Wait, how were you two playing so well then?

To be honest, I just hit any note.

That's what I was doing!

Look! There's guitar tabs in these old books!

So, do we go find the cat and play?

NO!

Then what do you propose we do, Detecti-

I wasn't talking to you, I was talking on the phone! So, we go find the cat and play?

Everyone is inside Yanni Yogi's pick-up while Yogi is driving to find Shoe. Everyone is holding their instruments.

MMMRRRROOOWWWW!!!!!!!

There he is! Now start playing!

Shoe reaches his paw into the truck and grabs Yogi from the driver's seat and swallows him.

Everyone start playing!

Everyone is now playing the song, and the cat appears to be getting drowsy.

Go to sleep... go to sleep... go to sleeeeeeeep...

Shoe falls down and sleeps, but shortly afterwards, Gumshoe's Attorney's Phone goes off.

*Answering It* Hello? This is a bad time right now!

The cat wakes up in rage.

MMMRRRRRRRROOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Shoe shoves his paw down into their pick-up truck to crush them, but everyone falls out safely. Everyone looks at Shoe pull up his paw and reveal the smashed up truck underneath.

AUGH! The grandpas guitars are smashed!

Show rears his head down and roars in Phoenix's face.

Note to self for last objection ever: Cat's got your tongue...

Wait a second...

Phoenix takes out his Attorney's Phone.

Guys! Use the Attorney's Phones and throw them at that cat!

Everyone except Gumshoe (who is still on the phone) spins their phones and flings them as far as they can, which turns out to be two feet away.

Shoe rears down his head and roars in everyone's face again.

MMMMMMRRRRRRRROOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What? I can't hear you! You're breaking up! I can't hear you, pal! What, signal lost! Augh, DAMMIT!

Gumshoe throws his Attorney's Phone into Shoe's mouth and Shoe then starts panicking, ripping his own guts out, and falls backward onto a pointed skyscraper and explodes.

...

...

...

...

...

BRUTAL!

The End

---

*Back at the Courtroom...*

I still can't believe we missed out on hearing the defense's strategy...

Yeah... I really don't think it was necessary to spend the few minutes we had to listen in on Ayasato-san and Coffee Dude... and waste it on buying Kyouya a soda.

What? I was thirsty! And Kyle wanted a soda too—!

Actually, you just made me play along so the others would buy you a soda... I don't even like the soda from this time period... Nothing beats good ol' fashioned Dr. Pepper! Come to think of it, I’m beginning to miss being in my own world and time…

Well, we might as well just continue watching the trial...

Aww, but I really wanted something interesting to happen! Kyouya-kun, didn't the Cactus Juice that made you hallucinate and spread havoc all over Hotel Dusk because of your being stoned, causing you to say "CACTUS JUICE!!! IT'LL QUENCH YA!!! NOTHING'S QUENCHIER!!! IT'S THE QUENCHIEST!!!", fill you up already?

... Cactus Juice?

You know what, never mind.

Looks like Chinami's ready to testify again... Hey, have any of you guys got a slingshot and a bottle of grape juice in here, or at least a shotgun—

Don't even think about it.

*Testifies about the incident 5 years ago*

... She's lying, I can feel it.

*Checks Minuku Bracelet* She's making all sorts of unnecessary movements! SOKO—

*Covers Odoroki's mouth* Quiet! You might cause a time paradox if our younger selves see us here!

Young YOU CAN DO IT, ASUMA-SENSEI!!! WHOO!!!

(Kid, I'm just the Co-Council...)

Oh... Right...

You know this is really getting boring. I've already reviewed the case file for this and I know what's gonna happen. Why is it that I'm not even allowed to shoot the bitch who made my life miserable when the opportunity's presenting itself right now?!

Uh, because you'd rather stay silent...?

Riiiiight...

*After some more <Insert long Cross-Examination phases here>...*

*Sigh* How can the Judge be so oblivious?! It's plain obvious that Chinami's the murderer!

I know... It's like this trial's just a game with a never-ending Game Over-Restart-Game Over-Restart!

I don't think it's boring at all!

That's because you enjoy watching your younger self...

Yeah! I feel so awesome 'cuz I know I'm gonna win this trial!!!

Young *Overhears Present-Day Mitsurugi* Really? I’m gonna win? Who’s the wonderful person in the stands who—

...

Young ...

... Um, hello?

Young Holy crap, it’s me!!! And... I’m old!!!

Oh, snap... Here goes another time paradox.

Um... Mitsurugi-kenji, I think we should proceed with the—

Young ... H-How? How did this happen? Why am I here, and why am I looking directly at my older self?

This can’t be good.

Young ... You! *Points to Present-Day Mitsurugi* Tell me! Do I become an uber famous perfect prosecutor just like Karuma Gou?

I... er... Well I don't know... Hey, I can just teach you a song!

Say what?!

Young Anything you teach me shall be great, o esteemed Future Me!

Mitsurugi-san... I don’t think you should be distracting everyone like this! YOU’VE CAUSED A TIME PARADOX!!!

*Everyone in the courtroom stare at Akane.*

Oh my luminol! It’s me!!!

Uh-Oh.

Wow! I’m gonna be a detective when I grow up! That’s so cool, right sis?

Ganto-kun told me to stay quiet...

Drat! Those two have already blown our cover! Things can’t possibly get any worse!

All right! Now, Mitsurugi Reiji! You shall witness the awesomeness of... Mitsurugi Reiji! After 13 years!

Young Alright! Go on, o esteemed Future Me! Teach me the song!

*Present-Day Mitsurugi and Young Mitsurugi practice singing a song.*

Oh no...

This is getting out of hand! If Mitsurugi disturbs this trial any further, then... then...

*Leaves the witness stand while everybody has their attention on the two Mitsurugis and Akanes* *Also does her signature bitchy smile.*

NOOO!!! Chinami’s escaping!!! Damn it, Mutsurugi! Why? WHY? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DO SOMETHING VAIN AND STUPID THAT LEADS TO UTTER DISASTER?!

‘Cuz I’m Mitsurugi. Now! Reiji! Let’s do the song together!

Young Okay, o esteemed Future Me!

& Young EVERYBODY STAND UP! AGERO KYOU ICHIBAN NO JIKAN DA! ME NI MO TOMORAN NO SPEED HANDA! DARE WO NOBINATTORI KO KANBA YEAH!!! *Both dance*

What’s going on?!

Onamida: This is too much! I can’t take it anymore! *Drinks vile of poison*

NOOO!!!

Future Me! Will you teach me a cool song, too?

I... Uh...

Ganto-kun...

*Throws broken coffee mug shards at the dancing Mitsurugis* Damn it! You made my little kitten cry! You shall pay!

Young Yeah! Go Asuma-sensei!

What’s happening to this trial?!

Odoroki-kun! Do something!

Yeah! Do something!

*Gets attacked by Young Akane* Ahh!!!

AKANE-CHAN!!! TOO... MANY... FREAKY THINGS... GOING ON... I WISH I HAD NEVER BOUGHT THAT STUPID WIISTATION 3!!!

*Everything in the courtroom goes silent.*

What the...

Well, well, well... Look who needs my help now...

Uh... Police Dog # 9? What are you doing in here?

Fool! I am not Police Dog # 9! I am the controller of Time and Space! And you have just called upon me to make things normal again!

... I did?

Yes! By wishing that you had never bought the WiiStation 3, you have countered every single time paradox you and your friends have caused! I shall now... free you all from the world of the WiiStation and erase whatever time paradoxes you may have created!

... Really? You mean all I had to do was say that I wish I’d have never bought the WiiStation 3? It was THAT easy to get back home?! Aww man, you shoulda told me about that 3 weeks ago!

It slipped my mind. Now! Are you ready to return home?

Yeah!

Good. But... there is a catch. You may only bring one companion with you back home. The rest shall remain imprisoned in this wacky world!

WHAT?! But that’s not fair! I can’t choose only one! What about my other friends?

You either choose only one... or you opt to remain in this world with all your friends... FOREVER!!!

(DAMN IT!!! I... I can’t abandon my other friends! I know that I wanna take just Akane-chan back home, but... I can’t!)

*Super Close-Up* (There’s gotta be a way outta this mess!!!)

Well? Have you made your decision yet?

(I... I... WAIT!!! I’ve got it!) Yeah!

Ho ho ho! I knew you were selfish enough to just choose your girlfriend over your other friends!

(“Girlfriend”... Ehehehe...) Anyway! I choose...

KYLE HYDE!!!

Hahaha!!! I knew you’d be selfish enough to—WHAT?! But he isn’t from your time!

Exactly! By creating another time paradox...

*Super Close-Up* I can cancel out the other one and make things normal!

No!!! This can’t be! You can’t—

*A new portal suddenly appears!*

*Enters portal back to his world* Whoa! This is unbelievable!

...

What the...

NOOOOOOO!!!! No one has ever reversed my logic before!

Nobody but me, Police Dog # 9!!!

Noooo!!!! *Melts*

Time to get back home!!!

*Odoroki and the gang enter the portal.*

...

*A couple of weird portal-hopping sequences later…*

We made it! We’re actually home again!!!

Looks like you actually did something right this time, Housuke.

You did it, Odoroki-kun! You countered a time paradox with another time paradox! That was brilliant! *Hugs Odoroki*

Yeah, well... Thanks. *Blushes*

Ahem. Um, Odoroki... Thank you for... getting us back home...

Uh... Don’t mention it?

& *Awkward stare and silence*

...

Well. Looks like your stupid outburst helped us get back home after all, huh, Mitsurugi?

Yeah. If you haven’t been so excited over seeing your younger self and forcing him into doing a stupid song and dance number with you, Odoroki would have never met the controller of Time and Space and used deconstructionism on it to get us back.

... I miss my younger self. Ah, the days of my youth, like the scent of fresh lemon...

*Sigh* Mitsurugi, you are eternally a catchphrase thief.

... I’m staying sile—

See what I mean?

Well, now that we’re all back home, why don’t we celebrate? Odoroki-kun’s treat!

What? No, wait, I...

Oh, it’d be fabulous to see you pay for something for once, Odoroki.

Hmm... Yeah, I’m in the mood for a soda.

No! Seriously, I don’t have any money left!

Then it looks like I’m going to end up paying for you.

*Blushes* Gee, uh...

Ha. This reminds me of the good old days whenever I finished a trial and had to treat everybody to an expensive dinner... Whenever I couldn’t take it, all I had to do was shout out one word. I bet it’ll work for you, too, kid.

Well?

Oh, all right. For continuity’s sake...

SOKO DA!!!

No, not that! It’s—


THE END.

Damn, that was a long one!

---

So..Very..Funny...
I've realised that I've posted about 5 times praising what is essentially the same funny so I'm just going to say-
That was very good. Goodbye.

---

orcaizer al, just gotta say that i loved your funny and enjoyed reading each and every part! you did a superb job!!!

---

Lol! I love it man! Too bad the series is over though...

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

BlackKnight13: Goddammit, now I have to change my sig because of you. Ohh well, at least I'm not alone...

Ohh yeah, a funny. Umm...

What did Mia Fey's sister say after she saw her topless? "MIA, OH MAYA!" AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA
I'm not even going to dignify that with a grin.
*Is too busy making out with to notice*
What does 's honesty, 's heterosexuality and 's fans all have in common? NONE OF THEM EXIST! AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA!
Don't make me throw my toupee at you.
Does Gant have to choke a bitch?
*Cries* I like me.
Why does Oldbag hate Franziska von Karma so much? BECAUSE SHE'S A WHIPPERSNAPPER! AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA!
*Whips Moe*
I'MGOINGDOWNTOCLOWNPARKGONNAHAVEMYSELFATIME!
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER! BACK IN MY DAY, CLOWNS WERE ACTUALLY FUNNY, NOT LIKE THE ONES TODAY *insert long speech about clowns here*
Alright, what do call it when Maggey Byrde wins something? A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE! AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA!
GUMSHOE! THE MEAN CLOWN MADE FUN OF MY BAD LUCK!
*Holds Maggey tight to him, cuddling her* there there, Maggey, dear. It's alright, I won't let the mean clown make fun of you.
What did Godot say to when he wanted a cup of coffee? "BEAN ME UP, HOTTI"! AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA!
YOU WANT A PIMP SLAP, BITCH?
Hmm, yes, I remember that show. that 7 of 9 chick was hot, hmm, yes...
What did Gant say to the Judge when he agreed with him? "WRIGHT, O WORTHY UDGEY!" AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA!
Seriously, does Gant really have to choke a bitch?
I sentence you to get better jokes, you unfunny clown.
Man, you are even worse at humor than Sega's writers.
*Is too busy making out with to notice*

---

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

@Orcaizer Al: Great Job Wrapping up the Story! Do you plan on Second one?

@Chinese Infantry: Those were some of the best Moe jokes I ever heard! However, I got a real ending to your last set of funnies.

9 Months Later in Courtoom 3:

I see that you are back in my court for a follow-up for my previous ruling, Mr. Clown. Have you gotten any funnier since last time?

No, I haven't your honor. I have decided to become a Ringmaster and retire from being a clown.

Ha Ha Ha...

Wait, That wasn't very funny. Too Bad, I sentence you to life in jail. Have a Good Life!

Hey, The Judge Made a Funny! Ha Ha Ha!

Nobody expects the Caffeine Inquisition!

Meanwhile at the Hotti Clinic:

Ms. Fey, Congrats! You have 3 health babies…. You Have 2 healthy baby girls… I can't wait for when they grow up and I get to examine them...

*slap* That's for being perverted! And here's a few more for good measure! *slap* *slap* *slap*

: Ah, Maya, you may wanna stop now.

*Hotti Faints and Doctor Stiles rushes into the room*

Sorry, I’m late. I hate it when he ties me up and locks me in a closet and then goes off and pretends to be me.

Anyway, Ms. Fey, Congrats you have 3 health babies. You have 2 healthy baby girls and baby boy. I’ll being in the bundles of joys now.

*5 Minutes later*

Here’s your little bundles of joy. I bet they can’t wait to see Mommy and Daddy.

*Hands the babies over to Maya*

Come here my little baby, Mommy wants to see you.

And So Does Daddy! Pass over the Little Nick!

Little Nick?

Wait, Why is his skin so much darker than mine?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Maya! YOU CHEATING B****! YOUR WORSE THAN CHINAMI!

: Wait, Nick! It’s not what you think!

*Phoenix runs out of the Clinic*

Last edited by ButzPuff on Fri Mar 23, 2007 9:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Yeah, sort of. :P

GYAKUTEN SAIBAN CHARACTER GRAND PRIX!!!

*At some studio...*

Welcome to the first ever Gyakuten Saiban Character Grand Prix! I'm Kyle Hyde!

And I'm Derek Stiles!

& And we're your hosts for tonight!

Now, you may be wondering why I'm a host when I'm from a different region...

And you may be wondering why I'm a host when I'm from a different region AND timeline! And that's because...

& ALL GOOD DS GAMES NEED TO JOIN FORCES, YEAH!!!

Now, the Gyakuten Saiban Character Grand Prix, or GS-CGP for short, is a contest the wonderful folks at Al's Weird Imagination Studios came up with. It's main goal... to decide on who the best Gyakuten Saiban character is! Now, Kyle and I will introduce our contestants!

All right! Here are our contestants!

... *Enters stage while theme music plays* IGIARI!!!

First up is Naruhodou Ryuuichi, the protagonist for GS1-3 and also the original Ace Attorney!

... *Enters stage while Great Revival plays*

Next is Mitsurugi Reiji, the "Good Prosecutor", as well as the ZOMFGZ Super Seekrit Case Four Prosecutor for GS2-3!

... *Enters stage... With a broom* DATTEBAYO!

And then we have Ayasato Mayoi, a.k.a. "Ayasato Mayuto: the Next Hokage LOLZ"! She's a spirit medium and ramen / hamburger lover!

... Huh? Where am I? *Pushed by person behind him* Ow! Okay, okay! *Enters stage*

Now we have the clutzy yet kind Detective for GS1-3! Itonokogiri Keisuke! And next is..

Hurry up and introduce me, fooloshly foolish show host fools! *Enters stage*

... And here is Karuma Mei, the Bullwhip Queen.

*Theme music plays while entering stage doing her cute pose*

Audience: AWWW... SHE'S SO CUTE!!!

Now we've got the adorable Ayasato Harumi, a talented young spirit medium!

*Enters stage*

Here is Ayasato Chihiro, one of the Ace Attorneys for GS3, Naruhodou's mentor, and the cream of the crop when it comes to GS Fanboy Favorites!!! Hot damn!

*Enters stage*

Now we've got Kaminogi Souryuu / Godot, the main prosecutor for GS3, has the ability to transform from Souryuu to Godot just like Danny Phantom (LOL Godot Phantom. :P) coffee addict, and Ayasato Chihiro's badass prick of a boyfriend!

Yeah, I'm a prick and I'm proud of it! Just like Jay! That's because my being a prick got me an awesome girlfriend, right, kitten? That's my rule.

*Blushes*

& Yeah, okay...

... That's my rule.

& Uh... Aren't you going to leave the stage yet? We still have other contestants, you know...

That... is not my rule.

& Just leave the stage already!!!

Ahem. Now let's move on to...

*The set suddenly becomes dark. Lightning flashes.*

W-What's going on?

*Points a flashlight to his face* We are now going to meet the next contestant... a beast so vile and evil, that not even light can penetrate through the darkness this contestant creates...

*A wolf howls. Creepy music plays in the background.*

The apocalypse has come! Here is the next contestant: Miyanagi Chinami!!!

*Enters stage while lightning continues to flash... Butterflies follow her but are burned off later. Her eyes glow.*

& AAAAAARRGGHH!!!! GET US OUTTA HERE!!!

*Spots Naruhodou and Souryuu* Why, hello there, boys...

& *Cling to each other in terror* AAAAAARRGGHH!!!! SANCTUARY!!! SANCTUARY!!!

*Lights suddenly turn on again.*

Hey! The lights are on again! Let's move on to our next contestants! Now, these guys... I've actually spent quite some time with them, and they're kinda cool. Now let's meet... THE MASTERS OF TIME PARADOXES: THE GYAKUTEN SAIBAN 4 CAST! Here is Odoroki Housuke, a.k.a. Combusken Boy!

*Enters stage while uber awesome objection theme plays* SOKO DA!!!

Next up is the cool, calm, and collected Rock Star Prosecutor, Garyuu Kyouya!

*Enters stage while Garyuu Wave songs play in the background*

And now, here's the mysterious magician and a child of sorcery: Minuki!

*Enters stage. Harry Potter music plays.*

Time for another time paradox! Here is Hobohodo Ryuuichi!

*Lazily walks across the stage* Yo, lookit me, Younger Self. I'm cool.

Wow! You... I mean, I am cool!

Yeah, and I enjoy staying silent 'cuz nothing scares me. Not even the death penalty.

Nothing scares you, eh?

Nothing except you, you damn SHE-DOG WHO TRIED TO FRIGGEN POISON ME!!! *Shudder*

(I STILL don't forget about that even after seven years? Aww, man...)

Ahem. Right. Moving on... Next we have Odoroki's mentor and smile-a-lot freak, Garyuu Kyouya!

*Enters stage* *Smiles* *Smiles* *Smiles*

Finally, we have our last contestant... And Odoroki's crush!

*Blushes* H-Hey! Not on TV, man!

Last but not least... Houdzuki Akane, the Detective for GS4-Onwards!!!

*Enters stage*

Random CR Forum Members... and Emmet: GO EMA!!! YOU ROCK!!!

*Blushes*

*Gets jealous* Watch it...

& Now that we've seen all of our contestants, we can now move on to primary judging! Let the contestants amaze us with dazzling moves! All right! LET'S APPEAL!

... TO BE CONTINUED.

---

Thanks, but why did you break Nick and Maya up? I had them doing so good together and you screwed it up. Ahh well, time to work a little magic.

You still mad at me, Nicky-kins?

YOU GODDAMN RIGHT I'M STILL MAD AT YOU.

*Randomly walks on the scene* La la la, Kamen Mask kicks ass *possessed* HULYAGURGKGURK *possesed* ok, I'm here.

Who the hell are you.

I'm Chinese Infantry. I'm using Yuusaku's body as a way of entering the funny. That, and I was stamped as him on the gyakusai_rating community.

I thought you thought he was a girly-looking pussy.

Yeah, I used to think that, but he's kinda of grown on me. Anyways, the reason the last baby is black is because of this: Phoenix is part African-American.

WHAT?

That's right. Normally, I never see something like this, but somehow, it has happened. Therefore, you are mad at Maya for no reason, Nick.

Aheheheheh, sorry Maya.

Aww, it's ok

* and begin making out again*

Mission accomplished *unpossessed* whoa, what the hell just happened.

*Meanwhile in jail*

What's black, white, and red all over? EDGEWORTH WHEN HE CUTS HIMSELF! AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA!

Redd, I give you full permission to prison rape him.

This is going to be splendirificous!

*Insert rape here*

AMPLEPARKINGDAYORNIGHTHUMBLECLOWNSSHOUTINGHOWDYNEIGHBOR!

---

Like me!

Just Having a Little Fun at The Cost of Someone Else! *claps*

Seriously, Nice Cover Up For My Little Gag!

Much love, man! Much love. Funny time, but first...

It's good to be married, and not in any Yaoi relationships *possessed* HUGURKGA! *possesed* ok, I've got a body, now lets start the show!
*Lights dim*

Coming this summer:

Rob Schneider plays a defense attorney who had it all. A good job:

There is no fucking way my client is guilty. The prosecutor only thinks so because he has no fans.

What are you talking about, of course I do.

and a hot girlfriend.

Oooh, what's your name, hot stuff.

I'm Javado, wanna snog?

Until one day:

SOMEONE DONE POISONED MY COFFEE!

When he finally wakes up, his world is turned upside down.

REDD WHITE KILLED MIA FEY? GODDAMN YOU MARUHODOOOOUUUU

And now he must convict the people he once defended.

Your honor, the reason for the defendant's guilt is that the defense is a bitch.



I'm not a bitch, you're a bitch!

Much hilarity ensues.

Sir, you just ran a red light.

Well, my visor can't see red, what the fuck do you except, Officer Asshole.

From the creators of Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb and Kenny, Rob Schneider is:

Godot! Rated PG-13

And now, our feature presentation!

Chinese Infantry presents (without approval from the FCC or the MPAA):

FOUR GUYS (and one freeballer) NAKED IN A HOT TUB! An unrehearsed discussion group between a bunch of naked men in an obviously homoerotic situation.

we've got , a Prosecutor who is certainly a Master Debator, , who prefers to screw guys and children, , the biggest pimp in Gyakuten Saiban, , who freeballs and didn't pass the second grade, and now, the all-important, all-mighty, group moderator: NARUHODOOOOOOOU RYUUICHI! *appluase*

Thanks fo' the intro, ma dawg. Whassap homies, welcome to tha' naked hot tub hizzouse. We gots a very big show tonight fo' all my playas on tha' west side, we goings to go bust a cap in some topical ass, my homie-g!

Wright? What the fuck has gotten into you? Why are you all of the sudden talking like a rapper?

Because, dawg, my man C-Infantry tolds me I was part African-American, as an explaination as to why my girl Maya had a black baby.

Dude, he only did that because he's a hardcore / shipper and wants you two together.

HE WHAT?

Actually, it's true, he is part African American. DNA samples from him will prove it, too.

YOU SEE, ESE! YOU BEST STAY QUIET, OR I CUT YOU, PENDEJO!

Ohh come on, that Mexican or something.

Errm, that's because he's part Mexican as well.

Como se wha?

He's also: Canadian, French, English, Italian, Chinese, Japanese, North Korean, South Korean, Native American, Australian, Scottish, Irish, Vietnamese, Indonesian, Malaysian, East Timorese, Russian, Brazilian, Columbian, Peruvian, Egyptian, Saudi Arabian, Swedish, Finnish, Danish, Dutch, Icelandic, Swiss, Panamanian, Puerto Rican, Costa Rican...

How is having that much blood from that many nationalities even possible? Is there anything he's not.

Well, he's not German, due to their strict censorship laws concerning video games. Poor guys never know the fun of Gears of War or Dead Rising. Anyways, I'm out, until needed again *leaves*

Hmm, I had no idea I was that diverse. Anyways, issue number 1: all this Me/Edgeworth garbage! I mean, WHAT THE FUCK! I TOLD YOU COUNTLESS TIME I'M NOT GAY, AND YET, EVERY OTHER FAN ART FROM MY SERIES FEATURES ME GETTING IT ON WITH EDGEWORTH! Edgeworth, we'll start with your opinion:

I got a good explaination! It's simple, see: Fangirls are what primarily composes the internet fandom of Phoenix Wright, and nothing turns most fangirls on more than two guys making love. Therefore, they take the main male character and his main male rival, and make them into a homosexual couple. Then it spirals on downwards to a shitload of Yaoi fanart, fanfiction, and whatever the fuck else.

Thank you Edgeworth, for stating what everyone else already knows and further angering the you/me fangirls into total retaliation. Gant, you're next, tell us you thoughts.

WANNA SEE MY...

On second thought, don't. Godot, what have you to say about this.

They do it because it's true, bitch! Ain't it obvious you two get hugefied wangs just by looking at each other and have buttsex three times a day. There is no fuckin' way you can say you don't pound butt, bitch!

Hey, I don't pound butt, asshole.

You're right, you take it in the butt, bitch!

Godot, remind me to kill you later...

I'll remind you the same time I PIMP SLAP YOU, BITCH!

Whatever. Gumshoe, I hope you can actually give me some useful input.

For the last time, just because I have a trusting relationship with Edgeworth DOES NOT MEAN I'M HIS GAY LOVER!

(Once again, Gumshoe, I hate you...) Ok, let's just move on. Issue number 2...

*Naked* Hi, Mr. Nick!

PEARLS?! WHY ARE YOU NAKED!?

*BOYOYOYOYOYOING!*

I wanna be in your group. Can I join too?

Erm, Pearls honey, it doesn't work like that...

No, you can't join us. No girls allowed!

WHAT YOU SAY, BITCH?

Except for Godot's hos!

*Sniff* But I wanna joooooin. I got naked just like you guys. Why can't I join, Mr. Nick.

Ohh don't you listen to Ol' Worthy, little Pearlsey Wearlsey, of course you can join. You can sit next to me!

GANT, SHUT UP!

Sorry, pal there is simply no more room...

*Cries*

Errm, Chinese Infantry, can Pearls join us?

Fine, but only for this episode. I ain't changing the title.

Ok, Pearls, hop on in...

Yippie *hops in*

There is only one rule: NO SITTING NEAR GANT OR ON HIS LAP!

No fair, you're hogging my action!

Gant...

No problem, I'll sit next to Mr. Nick *scoots next to Phoenix and cuddles up to him*

(Pearls, ix-nay on the awkward-ay...)Ok... issue number 2: . Why is she allowed to have a whip in the courtroom. Last time I checked, whipping the Judge is grounds for being held in contempt of the court and gets you thrown out faster than a Environmental Activist at the Republican Convention.

Easy on the politics, not all our viewers are American...

Fine, just answer the question as to why Franny gets a whip in court. Pearls, I'll let you start.

Why does she get to go before me? I'm always first.

Because you whine too much Edgeworth.

Well, that fucking sucks ass!

EDGEWORTH, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE AROUND PEARLS!

It's okay, I implanted a device in Pearls that blocks out all swear words. That way, I could freely write curse words into the dialouge without your interrupting.

Rrright, anyways, you can go, sweetie.

Thanks, Mr. Nick. I think the reason Miss Franziska gets a whip in court is because she asked the judge for special permission, and he agreed, so as long as she does not whip the Judge too hard.

Ironically, Pearls is only eight and provides better input than all of you put together.

I RESENT THAT!

Except for you, Edgeworth...

I RESENT THAT TOO, BITCH!

Well, what are you going to do about it?

I'll PIMP SLAP YOU, BITCH!

You tell 'em, big daddy!

Yeah!

Right, that's your solution to everything. Pimp slap...

Do you think I'm smart, pal?

Only on opposite day. Anyways, Edgeworth, you're next.

Well apparently, she has a massive power-streak: In short, she needs to feel that she is in charge. Since she does not have the physical strength to do so, she makes up by using a whip. That, and I'm also suspicious that she hates men.

Most men anyways. Gant, since we're not talking about Yaoi, I'll actually listen to your input.

I'll give it to you in three words: She's a bitch! THAT'S WHY I PREFER HAVING SEX WITH GUYS! NO WHIPS!

...and what about children?

Well, you see...

If it's an explaination other than "No whips", I don't want to hear. Anyways, shed some light for us, Godot.

The reason this Franny bitch gets to have a whip is because she has the Judge by the balls. Every time after court, she dresses the Judge up in women's lingerie and turns him into her submissive slut. Then they do the usual S&M stuff, you know, handcuffs, ballgags, strap-ons, whips, clamps, the whole nine yards.

(More information than I needed to know...) Errm, you do know that Pearls is here, right?

OF COURSE I DO, BITCH! DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE?

Mr. Nick, what does S&M stand for?

Errm, nothing, sweetie, Godot's just being an idiot.

I AM NOT BITCH. I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU WHY THE JUDGE IS FRANZISKA'S PERSONAL BDSM SLAVE! AND WHY SHE...

Gumshoe, I could care less how stupid your input is, JUST TAKE THE FLOOR AWAY FROM GODOT!

She does it because she's mean.

(At least you got the topic right...) We know, Gumshoe, we know. Now then, Issue number 3: . Her boobs are HUGE! Seriously, everytime Pearls or my lov...MAYA channels her in court, I fear she's going to pop out of her top. Pearls, I'll let you begin.

My sister Mystic Maya says that she went through something called pew-bur-tee really fast. I also sometimes also see her being jealous of Mystic Mia because of this.

(Not like I give a care, I still love Maya anyways...) Well said, Pearls, you did a good job.

Why don't you ever compliment me, bitch?

Because I hate you! Edgeworth...

One word: IMPLANTS! She obviously got bigger boobs to distract the prosecution for an easy.

And what about the female prosecutors?

Same reason! Didn't you know she was bisexual?

(She never mentioned that to me. Though it does explain why she was attracted to Lana...) No, I did not... errr...Gant?

Well, her titty tricks wouldn't work on me if I was prosecuting because I'M GAY! OH HO HO HO HO HO HOOOOO!

(Yeah, you make it painfully obvious... though it could be an advantage if the prosecution relied on sexuality to win. Nah screw it, I don't want to be Yaoi bait anymore than I already am.) That's great Gant. Really, it is. I'm going to skip Godot because I know what will happen if I don't and instead...

YOU DON'T SKIP ME BITCH! I'M STILL A MEMBER OF THIS GROUP AND I GET MY INPUT!

Fine Godot, you can speak (Dear God, help me! Sincerely, Phoenix Wright...)

You why she got huge fuckin' titties. It's because SHES A HO! A GRADE-A HO! Her first job: Defense Attorney. Second job: Spirit Medium. Third Job: Professional Cocksucker. Fourth Job: Professional Pussylicker.

Phoenix stared at Godot with a mix of shock and annoyance. Shocked because of the adult themes Godot was mentioning around
sweet, innocent little Pearl, and annoyance due to Godot's stupidity. Phoenix wondered if he should let Maya join him in the hot tub to at least make shit for him a little bit more bearable, and at the same time...

What the hell is that?

Sorry about that. I accidently slipped into fanfic mode for a second there.

...Rrrrright. Anyways, at least I know Gumshoe won't scar Pearls for life. Then again, I fear that once again, he won't have any useful input either. Therefore, with great regret, I ask for your opinion on the topic.

Of course. I have come with more decisive evidence!

Let me guess, another clip from my lov...MAYA's show.

Yep. The proof you need to confirm that Mia is bisexual:

*Tape begins*
Japanese Infantry presents (despite the demands of protests from Yaoi Fangirls and Hilary Clinton):

FIVE CHICKS (and one spirit) NAKED IN A SAUNA! The only show with fully-naked chicks that's not considered a porno!

We've got two lesbians ( )( ), a junior scientist ( ), a little girl channelling her older cousin ( channelling ) , a policewoman who really shouldn't go to Vegas ( ), and your totally awesome group moderator: MAYA FEY! ( )

Thank you for the intro! Anyways, before I begin, I would like to talk about something that has been bugging me: My portrayal in Orcaizer Al's skits. He either potrays me as a complete idiot, makes fun of me, or claims I will grow up to be some fat broom lady. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK? I MAY NOT BE PERFECT, BUT I LEAST I HELP NICK. UNLIKE SOME GIRLFR...SIDEKICKS!

*Sighs* is it that time of the month for you again, Maya?

SHUT UP, FRANNY!

Umm, Maya? Sweetie? You do realize Orcaizer Al could be watching this and think up new ways to humiliate you in his skits.

Well, if you are watching this, Al, I've got something to say to you: *Bleep* you!** I don't care what you do to me!

Why did you censor that last swear word?

For dramatic effect. Anyways, issue number 1: having sex with my cousin Pearly while she is channeling my older sister Mia. Though I do not wish to discuss, for some reason, this question must be answered. Franziska, I'll start with you.

I can find the answer to this question very simply with a special guest. Please welcome: Lana Skye.

*Enters sauna, naked* Hi!

Huh *blushes*

Lana Skye and Mia Fey attended law school together. They were attracted to each other. Some claimed intulectually, but I called bullshit and I was right. These two are the female equilvilant of / . Lana, shes over that, show her a good time.

OK!

WARNING: EXPLICIT SEX SCENE AHEAD! NOT JOKING! DON'T SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED!



STOP! WHAT IS THAT!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?

Sorry, I guess I slipped into fanfic mode.

It's not that I'm concerned with, it's the BLATANT DESCRIPTION OF THE SEX BETWEEN THEM. Whatever happened to "*Insert hot lesbian sex scene here*"?

And now, for the fun part!

*Bursts in* FREEZE, GSPD!

Officer, *points to Lana and Mia having sex* arrest those two.

Ok, ladies, you're are under arrest for...waitaminute, it can't be pedophilia because technically, it's Mia and she's of age, and it can't be necrophilia because she is clearly living right here. Hmm...uhhh...nevermind ladies, carry on *leaves*

There, I answered the question, it's neither.

(Franziska... I hate you...)
*tapes end*

There you have it. Not only does it prove Mia is bisexual, combined with her previous relationship with , but also answers the question of doing while she is channelling : It's neither, so feel free to pork away.

*stops covering Pearls' eyes* All very good and well put together. Except one problem...

YOU DIDN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION! THE QUESTION WAS: WHY ARE MIA'S BOOBS SO FUCKING HUTE! MAN, SOMETIMES I WANT TO SMACK YOU FOR YOUR SUPREME IDIOCY!

Sorry, pal.

Whatever, let's move on. Issue number...

*Stark naked* say, is their a drunken hot tub orgy going on here?

*cover Pearls' eyes again* GOD NO! WHAT DO WE LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

GOOD GOING ASSHOLE! YOU MADE ME LOSE MY ERECTION! EVERYTIME I PREPARE MYSELF FOR ALONE TIME, SOMETHING DISTURBING ALWAYS HAPPENS TO RUIN IT.

Not yet, but what a grand idea. Let's have ourselves a wonderful drunken hot tub orgy *breaks out beers*

*hops in. Godot, Godot's hos, Gumshoe and Edgeworth all evacuate hot tub and run into the house*

I wanna join too *hops in*

As do I *also hops in*

*insert drunken orgy of disgusting proportions here*

THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR TODAY. Coming up next time, assuming these guys don't destroy the hot tub, we will be discussing even more fascinating topics that will possibly scar you for life, kind of like a drunken orgy between a flaming child molester, a fat ass, a creepy adult molestor and a gay chef. MEETING ADJOURNED *Picks up Pearls and runs into the house*

Please feel free to share any topic ideas for future shows. This is totally not because I ran out of ideas myself, I just like hearing input. So long *unpossesed* Whoa, where am I? EWW, DRUNKEN HOT TUB ORGY!

**With apologies to Orcaizer Al. Your skits are awesome. I mean no offense to you at all.

---

Last edited by Chinese Infantry on Fri Jul 20, 2007 12:56 am, edited 3 times in total.

: Nick...why won't you love me? I'm cute, I'm barely legal, and I've done everything but strip down in the courtroom and lay across the defense bench! And the only reason I didn't do that is because the judge threatened me with contempt of court when I tried! WHY?! WHY?!

: (Why?)

*Shortly after The State v. Fey/The State v. Wright*

/ : Phoenix...

: Chief?

/ : Before I go for good, I want to tell you one thing. Maya's powers...they rely heavily on her chastity.

: W-wait, what? Why are you telling me....NO! WE NEVER WOULD...she doesn't think of me like that, why w...why bring this up now, Chief?

/ : I just want to make sure you know, just in case something happens. I'm sure Maya won't have to worry about you, but...

: I...um....I...geh....I THINK I understand....Chief.... (Gah...that means I gotta keep Maya a virgin if I ever want to speak with the chief again? Geh...great. My career depends on me being a cockblocker....)

*Present day, somewhere in heaven...*

: That....I didn't plan on....

: Ms. Fey?

: I just told him that so he wouldn't try and sleep with me again when I take Maya's body. I didn't think....

: So why don't you just tell him the truth?

: Well...considering how much Maya eats now, could you imagine her if she was pregnant? I don't think poor Wright could afford it...

: Hrm...point taken, Ms. Fey.

---

: You know...one of the things that annoys me is how many people thing I'm gay. So what if I like to whip people? So what if I act butch at times? So what if...

: Oh please. You don't have half the fandom that believes you're gay that I do. Everyone thinks I'm gay for Wright, and it's embarrassing to be honest.

: Thing is, little brother, you ARE gay.

: Oh, this coming from the woman whose idol growing up was Indiana Jones?

: I needed someone to learn my whip method from! And what about you? You CROCHETED as a kid!

: That's because your father wouldn't let me buy a cravat before I became a prosecutor! I had to make fake ones!

: Do you realize how gay that made you sound?

: Please, you're the gay one.

: You know how I know you're gay?

: How?

: You wear a pink suit. With FRILLS.

: That was 5 years ago! You know how I know you're gay? You played SOFTBALL before you became a prosecutor!

: Oh, falling back on stereotypes now, aren't we? What about the fact that you drink tea AND you take bubble baths?

: My job has a lot of stress, you of all people should know that!

: Not me, I take my stress out the old fashioned way.

: Right, whipping people into unconsciousness? Well, know how I know you're gay? You had a buzzcut up until 2 years ago.

: That was the style in Germany before!

: Right, among the butch lesbians.

: Know how I know you're gay? You carve your own decorative soaps.

: Know how I know you're gay? You listen to Indigo girls.

: Know how I know you're gay? You borrowed by Indigo Girls album last spring.

: Know how I know you're gay? I caught you cuddling a picture of Sailor Neptune from Sailor Moon.

: Know how I know you're gay? You were having alone time with a picture of...

: You know, while you were bringing up bad running gags, I just beat your high score on the Whip-A-Mole machine.

: Bastard!!!

: What about me? Don't I get a say in this?

: What about me?

& : ......no.

: Hrmph...fine. Mr. Wright, I believe I have a make out session scheduled in five minutes, and since those two are busy, I suppose you'll have to do.

: Huh? Wait, what? I'm.... (Should I even bother fighting this?...well, at least I know that neither of US are gay...I think....)

(My apologies to the makers of 40-Year Old Virgin, from whom I ripped the 'Know How I Know You're Gay' skit from, and for any genuinely gay readers that might be offended by this skit)

---

You just gave me an idea... "kitten". :P

Al, that's my line!

Now back to... GYAKUTEN SAIBAN CHARACTER GRAND PRIX!!!

Hey everyone! Welcome back to GS-CGP! We've introduced all of our contestants, and now, we're moving on to phase one: Trio Apeals! SHPLA-BOW!

Yeah! Okay, so here's the scoop on Trio Appeals. Our contestants must form teams each consisting of three members. Once that's done, our judges... Er, I mean, the Judge, will ask them to do a specific task that cannot be accomplished by only one person. The main focus of this challenge: TEAMWORK! If one team does not succeed at performing the task, one of their members will be disqualified!

All right! Before the Judge asks our contestants to accomplish the task, let's give 'em time to team up first! GO!!

Hey, Mitsurugi! Let's team up!

Yeah! We're sure to win 'cuz we're the uber awesome duo!

Woohoo!!!

Uh, guys? I specifically said that this event is called the TRIO APPEAL. You can't participate with only two members!

Darn it! Where will we find a third member?

...

Hmm, it IS quite a predicament, isn't it?

...

Ooh! I know! Hey, Odoroki, wanna join our team?

Sorry, Young!Naruhodou-san, I've already got a team!

We still need one member, though.

*Walks up to Akane* Uh... Akane-chan? I... um, could you... join our team? *Blushes*

Oh, uh... Sorry, Odoroki, but I already joined Kirihito's team...

... W-WHAT?! NOOOOOO!!!

Hey, I can still join, right, Odoroki-kun?

Why, of course you can, Minuki-chan!

*Sniff* Well, at least we've got a complete trio now...

Okay! We've got two teams formed so far! and !!!

Damn it! Maybe we should ask someone else?

...

Hey, Hami-chan! Wanna join our team?

Sorry, Naruhodou-san, but...

Hami's a member of our team.

Yes, she is.

& WHAAAAAAT?! HAMI-CHAN JOINED YOUR TEAM?!

Mei, you fiend! You probably bribed her with chocolate!

Uh, no I didn't?

*Munches on a chocolate bar*

... Anyway! Stiles, we have our trio ready!

Now we've got !!!

*Sigh* I can't believe our team's not formed yet!

...

I didn't wanna do this, but... Souryuu!

What is it, Maruhodou?

We... want... you... to...

Souryuu-kun! Wanna join my team?

*Heart-Eyes* Of course, kitten!

That's great, Souryuu-kun!

*Chihiro and Souryuu make-out.*

Not on TV, folks!

Ah, sorry about that. So, who's our third member, kitten?

...

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I won't say I didn't warn ya, Souryuu! *Laughs*

But... You DIDN'T warn him, Naruhodou...

... I'm staying silent about that.

Oh, so THAT'S how I developed that catchphrase!

Looks like our contestants have almost finished teaming up! We now have !!!

Oh no! We're the only ones left without a complete trio!

...

You think the security guard's willing to join us?

Me?

WHAAAAAAAT?! YOU WANT THE SECURITY GUARD TO JOIN YOU, BUT NOT ME WHEN I'VE BEEN FRIGGEN HERE FOR THE ENTIRE TIME?! NARUTTEBAYO!!!

Did you hear something, Mitsurugi?

That does it! TAJYUU MAYOBUNSHIN NO JUTSU!!!

YOU WILL MAKE ME JOIN YOUR TEAM, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!

& AAAARGGH!!! Okay, okay! You can join us!

Yay!

Holy Morgan Fey! I mean, Holy Mother of Pearl! You're scarier than Chinami!

Looks like our teams are complete! We now have for the final team! All right! The Judge will now name the teams and tell them which task to accomplish!

Right! Let's start off with naming the teams.

...

You will be Gyakuten Team 7!

...

You are Gyakuten Team 8!

...

And you shall be Gyakuten Team 9!

...

You will be Gyakuten Team 10!

...

And you are Gyakuten Team 11! Now that we have named the teams, I shall now announce the task that you must accomplish. But first, I will introduce our special guest.

Hello there.

This is Hatake Kakashi, and he will be overseeing the Trio Appeals Phase.

*Takes out 12 bells from his pocket* More specifically, I'll be your target.

*All of the teams say "WHAT?!".*

*Nods* That's right. The Trio Appeals phase is actually... a bell test. You teams must work together to get the bells from Kakashi. One member MUST have one bell, and whoever are not able to do so will be disqualified.

So we just have to get those bells? That's it? That's easy!

Haha. Don't be so cocky, Sarutobi Asuma look-alike. The thing is, I will be overly protective of these bells throughout this entire primary judging phase. I'll be prompted to attack at any moment. To get these bells from me...

*Super Close-Up* You must have the intent of killing me.

*All of a sudden, the set changes into a HUGE forest. Kakashi swings the bells.*

I'll be ready to begin when you are.

(We need a good strategy to get past this guy!)

(Hmm... He seems like a worthy adversary...)

(Let's use Mayoi as bait while we get the bells!)

(I think surprise tactics'll do well here...)

(I can distract Kakashi-sensei with some Magic Tricks while Odoroki-kun and Kyouya-kun get the bells!)

(Hmm... Time to utilize my uber hobo poker techniques on this guy!)

(I'm going to have to strategize for a while before I can take Kakashi on!)

(DAMN, Chihiro looks hot when she thinks!)

We will now begin!

*All teams get ready.*

Three... Two... One... Let the Bell Test begin!

*Leaps up into the air with the bells*

*Also leaps up into the air* Yeah! Come on, bells! Come to Naruhodou!

*Climbs up a nearby tree* This should be a good ambush area!

*Makes some coffee bombs to surprise Kakashi* Oh yeah, this is gonna be good.

Ha. Just try and get these bells from me! *Makes some hand seals* KATON: GOUKAKYUU NO JUTSU!!!

*Kakashi breathes fire and forms a fireball. He then directs it to the contestants.*

AAAARRGGHH!!!

Wow! Now THAT is what I call a passionate heart burning red!

*Naruhodou is hit by the fireball and falls from the sky.*

Naruhodou-kun! *Jumps up into the air to catch him*

Aha! His guard's down! *Sprays luminol at Kakashi*

MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!!! *Counters Akane's luminol spray with some shuriken*

*Gets hit by shuriken* Ahh!!!

Akane-chan!!! That does it! ODOROKI TRANSFORM!!!

Time to fight fire with fire! ODOROKEN FLAMETHROWER!!!

Oh, snap! *Narrowly misses Odoroken's Flamethrower*

Hey! I didn't know that we're allowed to transform into Pokémon! If that's the case, then...

*Super Close-Up* JAVADO TRANSFORM!!!

TYPHLOVADO FLAME WHEEL!!! *Performs the Flame Wheel attack and directs it to Kakashi*

Ah! Damn it! *Gets hit by Flame Wheel and drops two bells* NO!!!

Copycat! *Grabs a bell*

What can I say? That's my rule. Right, kitten? *Grabs another bell*

Right! (Poképhilia is wrong, Poképhilia is wrong, Poképhilia is wrong...)

Ah! Odoroki and Souryuu already have their bells!

Hmm... This is getting interesting.

*Attempts to get bells from Kakashi with her whip* Argh! Foolishly foolish ninja from the foolishly foolish hidden village of fools! Give me that bell!

*Gets whipped* Grr... That's getting irritating!

*Summons Uchiha Obito*

Obito: Hey! Kakashi!

O-Obito?

*Grabs two bells* Aha! Nice work, little girl! Here's your share! *Tosses one bell to Harumi*

Yay!

Umm... Why didn't you get me a bell, Karuma-kenji?

Because you're a scruffy fool. Get your own bell!

Oho! Looks like Kakashi-sensei already lost 4 bells!

Let's see who's going to get the others...

& And who's gonna get disqualified! All of that on the next episode of...

& THE GYAKUTEN SAIBAN CHARACTER GRAND PRIX!!!

... TO BE CONTINUED.

Man, that was heavily Naruto-ish...

---

Does Detective Akane still have her whip? What would be her pokemon transformation? And also, Go detective Akane!!!

Does Detective Akane still have her whip? What would be her pokemon transformation? And also, Go detective Akane!!!

Al, that was uber-rip off but I liked it! Looking forward to more!

---

Sorry for the double post. Accidentally refreshed

OMG Orcaizer Al.. your funnies are just.. LMAO XD XD XD

Combining Naruto with Pokemon... what's next?

---

Well, we've already done Super Robot Wars, and most of the Wiistation 3 adventures were sporked from the first topic....

I dunno, Code Lyoko?

Return to the past now! (jabs gigantic "Enter" key)

: Mr. Wright, Sir!

: Hey, Maggey! What's going on?

: *SALUTE!* I still can't thank you enough for what you've done for me, sir!

: Hey, it's my job, right?

: Still, I wish there was some way I could repay you...I KNOW! Since I'm off the force...I'll start work here as an assistant! I'm sure you could use another set of hands around here too! I bet Maya could use the help as well!

: W-what? Here? Work? (Can the office survive the Goddess of Misfortune? It's already messy enough between me and Maya...well...mostly me...) Um...sure, Maggey! I'd love to have you as an assistant!

: You won't regret it, sir!

: (I think I already am....)

*Three weeks later*

: On the charges of fostering an unsafe work environment, this court finds the defendant, Phoenix Wright....



: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!

: I'm sorry sir!! I...didn't mean for this to happen. I was just trying to wash the windows and I saw that the plant needed watering and....ohh.....I'll pay for the broken bookshelf....and I'll make sure to send get well cards to Maya while she's at the hospital!

: (I'm not sure who came out worse here, Maya and her broken legs, or me and my broken wallet....)

--------

: And that's how I became a hob-

: Mr. Wright, sir, I thought you said you became a hobo after Detective Skye forgot who you were when she came back to America. And last week, it was because Mr. Butz shirked out on a bet. And the week before that....why are you really a hobo?

: ....I'm too lazy to shave or take showers nowadays, so Maya kicked me out of the apartment.

: (Anou......)

---

Now for some more... GYAKUTEN SAIBAN CHARACTER GRAND PRIX!!!

... And welcome back to GS-CGP, folks! Last time, our contestants had to form teams of three in order to progress to phase one of the contest.

Now some of our contestants had some trouble finding the right members...

*Flashback...*

TAJYUU MAYOBUNSHIN NO JUTSU!!!

YOU WILL MAKE ME JOIN YOUR TEAM WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!

& Okay, okay! You can join us!!!

*End flashback...*

But now we've got five teams of three, currently participating in a Bell Test overviewed by our special guest participant, Hatake Kakashi from Naruto Shippuuden, wherein our contestants must get one bell each out of 12 from Kakashi-sensei.

So far, Kakashi-sensei has already lost 4 bells to Odoroki, Souryuu, Mei, and Harumi. Remember folks, contestants who DON'T get a bell...

& WILL BE DISQUALIFIED!!!

Now let's check in to see how our contestants are doing!

*Back at the forest...*

*Leaps through some trees* Damn. I lost 4 bells already... I better not underestimate the others.

*In Sector A of the forest...*

ODOROKEN TRANSFORM!

Yeah! *Swings bell* Check it out, Kyouya! I got me a bell!

Lucky Housuke! You wouldn't have gotten it if Coffee Dude didn't turn into a Pokémon as well and attacked Kakashi-sensei to help you!!!

Would so!

Would not!

Guys! At least one of us already has a bell... There's no need to fight over it!

*Sigh* You're right, Minuki-chan. Well, looks like we better get our bells as well.

Okay, Kyouya-kun!

Ready...

& *Super Close-Up* KYOUYA AND MINUKI TRANSFORM!!!

& Well, see you when we get our bells!

*Kyoutzel and Minuneko hop off to some higher trees.*

... I've gotta find a place to guard my bell until Kyoutzel and Minuneko get back.

*Odoroki hops off into the trees.*

*With binoculars* Looks like we're going to have to act like real shinobi... and attempt to get Odoroki's bells.

But wouldn't that be cheating? I mean, the rules said that we're only allowed to get Kakashi's bells... And where the hell did you get those binoculars?

The binoculars? Oh, I had them in my pocket all along... And, it's not really cheating. A defense attorney must always give the best services to his client, NO MATTER WHAT.

Dude... That's the same thing you said at the start of GS4 that led to almost 4/5 of the fanbase to believe that you were some maniacal freak who's actually behind the murder in Case One... And we're not even in a friggen trial!!! Besides, I think I have a better idea.

Oh, fine. We'll play it by your rules first, and if we fail, we steal.

You... You really wouldn't try to steal Odoroki's bell, right?

Hmm? Why do you ask? I thought you couldn't stand Odoroki.

Yeah... Unless... *Snickers* You actually like—

*Akane sprays luminol into Hobohodo's eyes.*

OOOOOOWWWW!!! MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!! DAMN IT, AKANE! I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN YOU ONLY HAD A WHIP!

*Sigh* Such is life.

*At Sector C...*

I... I can feel something... MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!!!

*Kakashi activates his Sharingan Eye.*

Just as I thought! Someone's following me—!

GGGGRRRRAAAAARRGGHHH!!!!

Holy crap! It's some sort of monster! *Performs hand seals* RAIKIRI!!!

*Kakashi performs Raikiri and uses it on Chinami.*

WHY YOU!!! NOBODY CAN DESTROY MIYANAGI CHINAMI!!! NOBODY!!!

*The forest suddenly becomes much darker. Somehow, lightning strikes.*

What the...

*A wolf howls again. Chinami's eyes glow.*

Ooh! That's my cue!

*Derek points a flashlight at Chinami's face to add to the creepiness factor.*

THOU HATH AWAKENED THE TRUE BEAST WITHIN ME... PREPARE TO DIE!!!

Uh-oh! *Kakashi attempts to run away*

HAHAHA!!! FOOL! THOU SHALT NOT RUN...

*Performs some more hand seals* SUITON: SUIRYUUDAN NO JUTSU!!!

*Kakashi forms a water dragon and makes it attack Chinami. Chinami is unaffected!*

HAHAHAHA!!! THAT... IS WORTHLESS!!!

*Chinami suddenly summons giant viles of poison from the ground.*

THIS... IS... CHINAMI!!! TONIGHT, YOU SHALL DINE IN HELL!!!

... How dare you distort quotes from 300! That does it! RASENGAN!!!

*Kakashi uses Rasengan on Chinami.*

AAAARRGGH!!! NO... NO... NO!!!

*Chinami falls to the ground and faints.*

*Pants* Damn it... That monster made me use up more energy than I expected... I better make good use of whatever I have left. KAGEBUNSHIN NO JUTSU!

*Kakashi makes clones of himself and orders them to go to different sectors. Kakashi continues to leap across the trees.*

*At Sector B...*

This is really getting annoying. All of the other teams are probably way ahead of us now.

And we also don't have any bells.

Aww, I'm sure we can get a bell sooner or later, Naruhodou-kun! Dattebayo!

(Mayoi's attitude isn't helping, either...)

*Whispers to Naruhodou* Hey, you thinking what I'm thinking?

Oh yeah...

*Mitsurugi and Naruhodou snicker for a while, and then turn to Mayoi.*

Huh? What's up?

& Hehehe...

Uh, why are you guys looking at me like that-ttebayo?! AAAHHHH!!!

*A few minutes later...*

*Tied to a tree stump* HEY!!! Why are you doing this-ttebayo?! Lemme go!

Sorry, Mayoi, but you were just slowing us down.

That's why we'll do the work for you! Don't worry, when Naruhodou and I get our bells, we'll give you yours, okay?

NO, THAT IS NOT OKAY!!! I WANNA GET MY OWN BELL! UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW-TTEBAYO!!!

Sorry, no can do!

Yeah, what he said!

Yeah!

NO!!! THAT'S UNFAIR!!! GET ME UNTIED!!!

*Naruhodou and Mitsurugi scuttle off into the other sectors of the woods, leaving Mayoi tied to her tree stump.*

*Back at Sector C...*

*Sigh* I can't believe Karuma-kenji gave a bell to Hami, but not me... Huh?

*Itonoko looks around.*

Ah, looks like I've wandered off somewhere... Where am I?

...

Hey! You... You're Chinami, right? From Ayasato-san and Kaminogi-san's team?

...

Uh... You okay? Why aren't you saying anything? Oh! Did ya get a bell—

Bell... Bell... BELL!!! FAILURE!!! I CANNOT ACCEPT FAILURE!!! GRAAAAAARRGGHH!!!

Ah! What the...

*Chinami's eyes glow again.*

I MUST KILL SOMETHING!!!

Kill? Wait! NO!!! NOT ME!!! AAAAHHH!!!

*Itonoko runs away. Chinami gives chase.*

*At Sector D...*

... Someone...

*Kakashi turns around.*

Someone is following me! *Throws shuriken* Show yourself!

HOBOHODO TRANSFORM!!!

HOBOVOLT POKER SHOCK!!!

*Hobovolt uses a form of Thundershock attack using poker cards and attacks Kakashi.*

Yes! You've got him!

... *Poof*

No... No way!

It was only a clone!

Scientifically speaking, Kakashi couldn't have been THAT easy for us to locate and fight...

All right. That does it. We're getting Odoroki's bell.

WHAT? But I'm sure there's another way to get a bell...

Are you kidding me? Hobohodo had to turn into a Pokémon just to challenge Kakashi, but even that didn't work! *Does freaky smile*

Hey... Where is he, anyway?

*Somewhere in Sector E...*

You aren't gonna get away from me this time...

*After some catching up, Hobovolt finally catches Kakashi.*

Gotcha!

Ah!

And I can tell that you're not a clone, too!

... So you think you can get a bell from me, huh?

My teacher said I was a good thunker... I mean, thinker! I don't just think, I KNOW I'm gonna get that bell from you.

*Laughs* You'll try.

*Super Close-Up* KAKASHI... TRANSFORM!!!

What the hell?!

*Kakashi gets engulfed by a giant dust cloud... He emerges a few minutes later.*

KAKATIOS LUSTER PURGE!!!

*Kakatios uses Luster Purge on Hobovolt.*

So... It's a real Pokémon Battle now, huh?

Yup.

That means I can also use items, right?

Uh-huh.

Items like Hyper Potion, Full Restore, White Herb, and...

*Getting bored* ... And?

And... PERVERTED NOVELS!!! SHPLA-BOW!!!

HOLY CRAP!!! MAKE-OUT TACTICS 2! Must... resist...

*Poof!*

Give it to me!!!

Nope, no can do!

GIMME!!!

*Blows Aluminum Flake Powder at Kakashi* Haa!!!

Ah... Ah... ACHOO!!!

*Kakashi drops three bells upon sneezing. After he recovers, he runs away from the scene.*

*Gets a bell* Yes!

HOBOVOLT TRANSFORM!

*Also gets a bell* Oh yeah!

*The other bell continues to fall.*

Should we get that one and give it to Kirihito?

Even after he tried to force us into stealing a bell from Odoroki?

...

...

& ... NAH!!!

*The bell keeps falling... And falling... And falling... Until!*

Ow! What the... Something fell on my head!

*Chihiro takes a look at what hit her.*

Oh my gosh! It's a bell! Yes!

*Back at Sector B...*

All right, this is really pissing me off-ttebayo. TAJYUU MAYOBUNSHIN NO JUTSU!!!

TIME TO MAKE MY ESCAPE!!!

*Mayoi utilizes her clones and breaks free of the ropes.*

Yeah! I escaped! I'm such a genius!

*Awkward silence.*

Huh? That's weird. Anyway! Time to catch up with Naruhodou-kun and Mitsurugi-kun! DATTEBAYO!

*Mayoi hurries off into the woods.*

*And... Back at—*

AAAAAARRGGGHH!!!!

*Looks like Itonoko's still being chased by Chinami...*

MUST... KILL... SOMETHING!!!

Yeah, kill something! JUST NOT ME!!!

THIS... IS... CHINAMI!!!

What the heck are you talking about?!

TONIGHT, YOU SHALL DINE IN HELL!!!

Hey! That's a line from 300! I love that movie—

GGGRRRRRAAAAAARRGGHH!!!

Damn, shouldn't have stopped. AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Looks like Kakashi-sensei lost three more bells!

*Sigh* And he lost them because of a perverted novel and a sneeze, too...

Still, the fight against Chinami was uber awesome, right, Derek?

Yep! I even got to use my flashlight!

And all those lines from 300 sure were funny to hear distorted, huh?

Aye. Well, that's all we have time for today. Be sure to join us on the next episode of...

& THE GYAKUTEN SAIBAN CHARACTER GRAND PRIX!!!

... TO BE CONTINUED.

---

Orcaizer Al, why did you have Kyouya transform into Floatzel? I understand about Minuki.

Mayoi is so cool! Great work, Al.

---

Very nice, and very funny. Mitsurugi and Naruhodou should get kicked out for doing that to Maya.

Nickel Samurai movie! Nickel Samurai movie!
You're still a fan?
Aw come on!
Even so. *pays for the tickets* To be honest, I was never good with movies...
Oh, you talk?
Something like that...
Well, we'll just have to buy lots of popcorn and candies and stuff to keep your mouth occupied!
You're just using that as an excuse for me to buy lots of junk food for you... And I'm probably going to get us kicked out of the theater...

*a little later*
*glued to the action*
!!! PLOT HOLE!
AH! NICK?!
Everyone in the theater: *glare*
Eheh... sorry... *sits back down.

Okay maybe it's a little boring, but I thought it was cute.

---

XDDD I do that! And a lot!

---

You too? I don't stand up and yell objection, but I do talk a lot!

---

well I don't do that in the movies and don't stand up either, but when I'm watching something at home yell Objection pointing to the TV

---

Making fun of just about every single cheesy romance movie, and just about every single movie with a wedding.

Miles Edgeworth, do you take Maya Fey to be your wife?
I do.
Maya Fey, do you take Miles Edgeworth to be your husband?
I...I...Uhhhh...
Out with it!
I...

Nick! *Kissy kissy smoochy smoochy*
----------------
A'yup....I'm out of good ideas!

---

GAH! I'M BLIND!
I CAN'T SEE!
dots... in front of my eyes...
... Did my visor break?
I told you that these goggles weren't just for show!
GRAAAAWWWRRR!!
Why can't I see?! *walks into a wall* OW! *walks into the same wall* OW! *wall!* OW! *wall!* OW!

---

Last edited by Android 21 3/7 on Tue Mar 27, 2007 1:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

You still made me smile.

I'll post a funny when it comes to me...

---

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

And now, bar jokes, as told by the Phoenix Wright cast.

*Phoenix and Edgeworth are drinking beers*

Hey, what would you do if there was a nuclear war.

I would try to fuck everything that moves, how about you?

I would try to remain as still as possible...

*Alternate Version*

Hey pal, what would you do if there was a nuclear war.

I would try to fuck everything that moves, how about you?

I would try to make as much movement as I could



---
*Bartender* Hmm, hmm hmmmm, Kamen Mask is the shit...

Hey Edgeworth, I'll bet my cock is larger than yours.

Please, Wright, I know you've said stupid things in the past, but that has got to be the stupidest.

It don't matter, because my babymaker dwarves both of yours.

Alright them, if you are so concerned with penis size, place them up on the bar to compare.

*Phoenix, Edgeworth and Wellington all unzip their flies and place their penises up on the bar*

*Walks in* Ooooh, I will have the buffet!



---

*Sigh*

*Walks in, spots Gumshoe's glass* Ooooh, don't mind if I do *drink's from the glass*

*Cries*

Aww, stop crying, I'll buy you another one.

No, it's not that Wellington, today was the worst day of my life. First of all, I lost my job. Secondly, Franziska whipped me 'til I was sore instead of giving me a last paycheck. Maggey hates me due to the testimony I gave against her, Edgeworth won't go out with me and I got evicted from my apartment. I was going to come here and put an end to it all, and them you come along and drink my poison.

*Hurk*

---

So I was walking around the other day, minding my own business, when I come across a woman, tied to the railroad tracks.

So what did you do?

Well, I untied her of course.

And then what?

After I untied her, we had the best sex ever.

Awesome! Did you get any head?

No, I could not find that...



---

I hope Nick will come see the new Nickel Samurai movie with me. *Knocks over lamp next to her* Ohh shit.

*Appears from lamp*

I AM THE GENIE OF THE LAMP. YOU BROKE MY HOME!

Uhh, whoops?

I SUPPOSE I MUST GRANT YOU THREE WISHES. BUT AS PUNISHMENT, I SHALL GIVE THE ONE WHO HATES YOU MOST, NAMELY, ORCAIZER AL**, TWOFOLD.

Uhh, sure. For my first wish, I wish for $10,000,000.

YOU WISH IS MY COMMAND

*Meanwhile*

Orcaizer Al: Dammit, bills, bills, bills, porn mag, bills, bills, letter from mom, bils, bills, check?

*Opens check*

Orcaizer Al: A CHECK FOR $20,000,000? HOLY SHIT, I'M RICH!

*Back at bar*

For my second wish, I wish for the two sports cars I've always wanted.

Have a look outside, for your wish is my command.

*Elsewhere*

Orcaizer Al: I'M RICH! I'M RICH!

*four sports cars appear*

Orcaizer Al: First $20,000,000 dollars and now four sports cars? How could this get any better?

*Back at bar.*

NOW FOR YOUR LAST WISH. KEEP IN MIND THAT ORCAIZER AL GETS THIS WISH TWOFOLD!

Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney...

---

*Sees sign saying "Free beer for a year"* Yo, barkeep!

Yes?

How can I win the free beer.

Ahh yes, first you have to go and kill Gant, because I hate his guts. Then I have a foul-tempered pitbull in the back that needs a tooth pulled. Then you have to go and have hot sex with the 80-year-old lady upstairs.

I'll see what I can do. Hey Gant!

Yes, Worthy?

SUCK ON MY NINE, BITCH! *Caps Gant*

*Dies*

Next on the list *goes into backroom with pitbull. Noises are heard*

*Walks in* Beer, barkeep.

Sure thing.

Say, what that sound coming from the backroom?

That would be Edgeworth trying to win the free beer.

*Comes back* OOOOKAY! Now where is the old lady that needs a tooth pulled?



---

You've probably heard some of these...

**More apologies to Orcaizer Al. Thrash me in your skits if you wish.

---

Last edited by Chinese Infantry on Tue Mar 27, 2007 10:17 am, edited 2 times in total.