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Rubia has been helping me out and the sporking is finally ready, so, without further ado...
Welcome to another chapter of 'There has to be a line where you can't even call it porn anymore' with luck! Today's fic is
Our Love Will Survive by KookieEvans.
Rating:
Basically, a not-very well written smutty fic with very very unfortunate implications.
And today's sporkers are...
Maya Fey!"It's been so long since my last sporking that I almost miss it."
Miles Edgeworth!"You'll regret those words before this is over."
Phoenix Wright!"Do you know something about today's fic?"
And...
Apollo Justice!"Not that he needs to tell that."
[
We open up in our sporking theater. Miles Edgeworth and Apollo Justice are already seated, while Maya Fey and Phoenix Wright have just entered.]
Maya: Hi, guys! It's been a while.
Edgeworth: I whole-heartedly envy you.
Phoenix: Why are you so upbeat, anyway? Don't you remember what your last sporking was?
Maya: No. I made a great effort to forget it.
Apollo: Let's just get this over with.
Speakers:
Your wish is our command. As long as they are according to our plans.[
The lights dim and the fic starts]
Quote:
The warm water from the shower cascaded down over Phoenix's head, completely flattening his black spikes.
Phoenix: Hey! My hair doesn't flatten with water! That's Apollo's. Mine is totally natural.
Maya: It's true. I've seen him soaked.
Phoenix: I can show you. Apollo, bring water.
Apollo: If you want water bottles, they're sitting right across from you.
Maya: Come on, Apollo! Don't you want to see his magical superpowered hair? It might even change colors...
Apollo: No.
Phoenix: ...Maya, if you expect him to do something, you need to work on your descriptions.
Apollo: I don't want water getting anywhere near my hair.
Quote:
Mia smiled, nuzzling her face into her lover's back.
Phoenix: Chief!?
Maya: Sis!?
Phoenix: Why are we having a shower together!?
Edgeworth: Does the word 'lover' mean anything to you?
Phoenix: Management, if you're so eager to show us smut, you could at least choose a fic where none of the people here appears.
Speakers:
Well, we've found recently a very explicit TrucyxMr. Hat fic, if you're interested.Phoenix: Are you trying to bluff the master of bluff? There can't be someone sick enough to write that.
Edgeworth: Are you willing to take the risk?
Apollo: I'm certainly not. Keep this one.
Quote:
His hair was a lot longer than she had expected. Then again, she hadn't seen him for years. It was bound to have grown.
Apollo: You know, people cut their hair when it's too long.
Phoenix: She hasn't seen me for years? I hope this is not implying what I think it's implying.
Edgeworth: Why do you keep hoping things here, Wright?
Quote:
She ran a hand across his neck, slender fingers dancing across his skin round to the front of his body, and scraped her long nails down his throat, brushing his adam's apple and leaving red marks. He shuddered delightfully, and she smirked.
Maya: 'She scraped her long nails down his throat, brushing his adam's apple and leaving red marks'? Is that supposed to be a smutty scene?
Edgeworth: It sounds rather painful.
Phoenix: Why do people describe sex scenes as if it were a murder?
Apollo: I wish it were a murder.
Quote:
"M-Mia…" Phoenix gasped shakily, and she pressed her luscious lips against the back of his neck, making sure she pushed her body hard to his so he could feel her nipples erect against his back.
Apollo: Wouldn't it make more sense if the back was the luscious thing in that sentence?
Mia: Oh. The sporking theatre.
Phoenix: Maya couldn't take more of this, huh?
Edgeworth: None of us would be here if we could escape somehow.
Quote:
"God, I've missed this so much Phoenix." She murmured, trailing her hand lazily over his chest. His breath caught in his throat.
Apollo: If she has missed it so much, why does she do it lazily?
Phoenix: And what's that supposed to mean by 'his breath caught in his throat'?
Quote:
"So have I. It's been so long…" He broke off into a hiss as her hand lowered, brushing against his long organ.
Mia: Don't they usually cut out the sex scenes?
Phoenix: They could very well be talking about the musical instrument with that description. A long one.
Apollo: That you just happen to have in your shower.
[
She keeps playing with his 'long organ' and...]
Quote:
he bucked his hips forward, desperate for more contact.
Phoenix: What did I just do?
Apollo: You bucked. Like a horse.
Mia: This fic makes me more confused than uncomfortable.
Quote:
"Naughty, naughty!" Mia withdrew her hand and tutted at him as he whined. "Be a good boy, and I'll give you what you want…"
Phoenix let out a shaky breath, and shuddered.
Apollo: That sentence...doesn't really make any sense here.
Phoenix: Fic-me sure is afraid of whatever it means.
Quote:
"Mia…do you think we're doing the right thing?" Phoenix gulped, and he felt the brunette step away from him, and he mourned the loss of her body heat.
Edgeworth: Really, author? Mourned?
Quote:
"W-What do you mean?" She stuttered, suddenly unsure of herself.
Mia: Fic-me seems pretty emotionally unstable, all of a sudden.
Quote:
"Well, it's not you is it? I mean, it might be your soul, but it's Maya's body…" He pressed his eyes shut tightly.
Mia: What!?
Phoenix: No, Fic-me! What you're doing is not right!
Edgeworth: Certainly, it could even be considered rape.
Quote:
"Phoenix look at me." She took him by the shoulders and spun him around so that he was facing her, and she took his hand in hers. She placed his hand to her heart, so he could feel the thumping of the familiar and comfortable beat. "Does it look like Maya's body? Does this feel like her heartbeat?"
"No." Phoenix's chocolate eyes snapped onto hers. "No it doesn't."
Apollo: Sure. The heartbeat. That's the main difference he's feeling in her chest.
Mia: Mr. Justice!
Apollo: Sorry, Ms. Fey. I'm just trying to keep my sanity.
Phoenix: You don't seem too scarred today.
Edgeworth: That's just the platinum rule of the sporking theatre.
All: You better than me.
Quote:
And with that he kissed her.
He moved his mouth slowly against Mia's, softly, softly, until she forced his mouth open, plundering it ruthlessly.
Apollo: How do you plunder a mouth ruthlessly?
Phoenix: How do you plunder a mouth at all?
Edgeworth: Apparently, out of place metaphors are a given in this kind of fic.
Phoenix: But what's it supposed to mean?
Apollo: Maybe it's really literal. Do you have any gold teeth?
Phoenix: If I had, I would have sold them in my disbarred years.
Apollo: Trucy can be a really expensive girl, huh?
Phoenix: Yeah, well. That and grape juice.
Apollo: (Why did I decide to work for him again?)
Quote:
He fought back as well as he could, but it was obvious she was winning. She explored every inch of his mouth, leaving her mark. Then she smirked against his mouth, and bit down on the fleshy pad of his lower lip, hard enough to make it bleed.
Mia: Is this a kiss or a battle?
Edgeworth: A recurrent question in this kind of fic, too.
Quote:
"Ah!" Phoenix pulled back with shock, and looked up at Mia, then groaned. He was never more turned on than when he saw her, a dangerous glint in her eye, an evil grin on her face and his blood trickling from her thick lips.
Phoenix: No offense to anyone, but...that's sick.
Quote:
In seconds he pulled her back into his arms, snarling and biting at her long, pure neck. He grinned at the harsh red marks he had left as her fingernails scratched down his back.
Apollo: Really, are they making out or trying to kill each other?
Phoenix: I don't even know anymore.
Mia: Biting a neck until leaving red marks sounds pretty excessive.
Apollo: Unless you're a vampire.
Phoenix: First a horse and now a vampire. I'm afraid of what this thing could turn into if Fic-me keeps transforming.
Quote:
"Can't wait any longer…" He panted and Mia nodded in agreement, then slammed him against the wall, lowering her head to his chest to graze his sensitive nipples with her teeth.
Mia: Men nipples aren't all that sensitive.
Apollo: But it'd still hurt if someone grazed them with their teeth.
Quote:
Phoenix tried out, and played with her in response until they were hard little buds. They were both sweaty and panting now, and they both knew it was time.
Edgeworth: Hard little buds? Really, author? That's the classiest comparison you could come up with?
Quote:
Phoenix cupped her white rounded buttocks with his hands, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, then swung herself up so that her feet were either side of his hips.
Mia: That's a rather difficult movement to perform in that position.
Apollo: Now you're acrobats at a circus.
Phoenix: Now I'm imagining a vampire horse doing acrobatics.
[
And they get to the thing.]
Quote:
She used her feet which were firmly planted on the tiled wall, to push herself away so he was almost completely out of her, then slammed herself back against him.
Phoenix: W-what!?
Apollo: Yep. Definitely acrobats at a circus.
Mia: This shower sure is roomy.
[
And they keep with the thing.]
Quote:
Mia's hips raised faster to meet his, and she cried out as each thrust made his throbbing manhood brush against that special spot inside her. She could feel the tension inside her rising and rising until she thought she would explode.
Mia: 'Throbbing manhood'?
Phoenix: 'Special spot inside her'?
Edgeworth: There has to be a stupid euphemism competition going on somewhere. There's no other explanation.
[
And they get over with the thing.]
Quote:
The slipped to the shower floor together, water still pounding on their skin, and instead of pulling out they pushed towards each other so much it felt like they were the only two people in the universe.
Edgeworth: If they don't count the spirit medium whose body they've profaned.
Phoenix: The water have been flowing all this time? Next bill is going to be expensive. I don't think I can afford such a waste.
Apollo: At least Fic-you is in-character when it comes to economical responsibility.
Phoenix: I always can cut your salary if I ever need it. (Power feels great. Now I understand Edgeworth.)
Maya: What did I miss?
Apollo: They used your body for sexual purposes without taking any precautions.
Maya: *goes pale*
Edgeworth: Never forget the mythril rule of the sporking theater, Maya.
All: Never. Ask.
[
And so, another sporking ends, with our sporkers more scarred than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow.]