???: Not so fast, Management!
All: !
Edgeworth: Kay!
Kay: Long time no see, eh, Mr. Edgeworth?
Maya: Are you here to save us from the vorefic?
Kay: Nope!
Phoenix: *sigh*
Kay: I'm here to help you with it, though! Besides, this is probably soft vore.
Edgeworth: You're too optimistic.
Kay: C'mon, where are they gonna find hard vore in
this fandom?
Speakers:
We have our ways. Also, the Management would like to remind...Kay: Yeah, yeah. Roll fic!
Quote:
THE CAT'S OFFICE
A NARUMITSU FANFIC
Phoenix: Narumitsu is me and Edgeworth, right?
Edgeworth: "Edgeworth and me," Wright.
Phoenix: Right.
Maya: Nick, stop.
Quote:
CONTAINS SIZEPLAY AND SOFT VORE
Kay: *sticks tongue out at Edgeworth*
Edgeworth: I never said that you were wrong, I simply said that you were being too optimistic.
Quote:
The sun was falling on the horizon, and prosecutor Miles Edgeworth was taking a small nap on his sofa. He wasn't aware of anything that was happening on his office.
Maya: But Mr. Edgeworth's usually so aware of what's going on around him!
Edgeworth: Maya, the fic says that I am taking a small nap. Ergo, I am asleep.
Maya: You can still be aware of what's going on around you when you're asleep.
Kay: Yeah, then you get really weird dreams where Mr. Edgeworth and Gummy are plotting to overthrow the tsarist government and institute some kind of crazy violent form of socialism...
Phoenix: You should probably turn the TV off before you go to bed, Kay. (Also, what on earth were you watching?)
Quote:
But he didn't hear any noises, so he was deeply asleep.
Edgeworth: Yes, we've already established that I was asleep.
Quote:
Behind the couch, on the wall, there was a small mouse hole.
Edgeworth: If there were pests in my office, I would call an exterminator as soon as I discovered them. I would not let the problem persist like this.
Maya: But Mr. Edgeworth! What if the mice were like the ones in Cinderella?
Phoenix: What, and they made him dresses?
Edgeworth: Anyone and anything that tries to force me into a
dress deserves to be exterminated.
Speakers:
Duly noted.Edgeworth: ...that was... troubling.
Quote:
Surprisingly, no mice lived there.
Maya: Then why are you calling it a "mouse hole"?
Kay: Maybe some mice just
used to live there... and were exterminated. *snorts*
Maya: ...I want to make a Doctor Who joke, but the fic isn't giving me the right setup.
Kay: Hey, I'm trying!
Quote:
The one living there was Phoenix Wright, a small defence attorney.
Phoenix: Like... the size of a mouse small?
Kay: How else would you fit in a mouse hole?
Maya: Maybe he
is a mouse.
Phoenix: Objection! The fic just said that no mice lived in the mouse hole, so if I'm living in the mouse hole, that means that I'm not a mouse!
Edgeworth: This is ridiculous.
Quote:
And when I'm talking about 'small' is that, indeed, his size was comparable to a mouse's.
Maya: Ahh, I see the fic anticipated us!
Edgeworth: This is why you refrain from discussing things until all the facts are on the table.
Kay: Where's the fun in that?
Quote:
And as one, he lived there, and fed himself with Edgeworth's food, managing to open his fridge and steal some.
Maya: See? The fic just referred to you as a mouse!
Phoenix: No, it's just saying that I'm acting as a mouse. I'm not literally a mouse.
Edgeworth: More to the point, you're stealing food from a fridge that I don't
have in my office.
Kay: Yeah, what kind of food would a mouse be able to steal in your office, anyway? Your tea leaves?
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: (He looks strangely horrified...)
Quote:
Miles was aware of the being living on his office, but every time he tried to fight him, Phoenix managed to escape.
Edgeworth: Whether it's a tiny man or a mouse, if there's a pest in my office, I would call an exterminator, not try to "fight him".
Maya: Would an exterminator even respond to a report of a tiny man living in your wall?
Edgeworth: ...regardless, Wright is a pest at any size, so...
Phoenix: Hey!
Quote:
Not only that, Phoenix played dirty tricks on him every time he could, and that pissed off Miles.
Edgeworth: Dirty tricks, I suppose, like stealing evidence, desecrating crime scenes, badgering witnesses, and of course bluffing.
Phoenix: You're not allowed to have this much fun in here.
Quote:
So as I was saying,
Kay: First-person pronouns in third-person prose! Bad!
Quote:
the attorney got out the hole and let out a inaudible yawn, stretching. He took a nap as Miles did, but he finished before him.
Maya: Is tiny-Nick's nap important somehow?
Phoenix: I don't think anything in this fic is important somehow.
Quote:
Seeing he was behind the couch, and that the prosecutor was sleeping there, he decided to play a new trick on him.
Maya: Also, is the fic gonna explain why Nick is the size of a mouse and living in a hole in the wall of Edgeworth's office?
All else: No.
Quote:
He stood at the sofa's feet, climbing its arms and finally standing next to the taller man.
He chuckled quietly, before approaching his ear and shouting there:
''MAAAAAAAAAAIIIIILLLLLLLLSSSS SSSS!''.
Edgeworth: "Mails"? This is new.
Kay: Maybe he's trying to tell you that you just had a lot of mail come in.
Maya: No, no, look at the space! He's clearly saying "Mails S"! See, it's someone completely different?
Phoenix: What, so this Mails S. guy just came into Edgeworth's office and tiny me is trying to inform him?
Edgeworth: That's ludicrous.
Maya: I bet it's a clue or riddle of some kind. Maybe it's an anagram.
Kay: Hmmm, nineteen anagrams for "Mails S"... but the only ones that make sense are "as slim" and "missal".
Maya: Alright, so this fic's about skinny Catholics. Got it.
Phoenix and Edgeworth: ...
Quote:
Edgeworth suddenly woke up, his heart bumping from the sudden scream on his ear, stunned. He made a quick standing movement which made Phoenix fall over to the floor.
''W-What in Heaven was that?!'', he shouted to himself. He looked around and, when he looked at the floor, he found the reason of his fright.
''...Damn Wright...'', he growled, kneeling and leaning his hand violently towards the small person to pick or crush on him.
Phoenix: ...is English this author's first language?
Speakers:
Actually, the author's from Spain, so no. They usually write fics in Spanish.Phoenix: That explains a lot.
Maya: Hey, I think it's pretty admirable that they're writing stuff in English!
Kay:
And sharing it on the internet!
Edgeworth: ...Maya, Kay, this is a
vorefic.
Kay: Right, right...
Phoenix: ...seriously, what's vore?
Maya: You'll see, I guess.
Quote:
However, Phoenix was quick, and managed to avoid his hand and run away.
Miles fell over as he failed at catching him, but quickly stood up and pursued him.
Edgeworth: I am not a cat. As I said before, if I saw a mouse in my office, I would call a professional to come get rid of it, not
chase it.
Phoenix: The fic's called The Cat's Office, though. Maybe you
are a cat.
Maya: Oh boy, furries on top of the vore?
Kay: Why do furries and vore go together like hand in glove?
Maya: ...or paw in mouth?
Quote:
They both ran around all the office, until Phoenix crossed a corner and went to the prosecutor's bedroom.
Maya: Woah! Since when do you have bedrooms at the Prosecutor's Building?
Phoenix: I
knew he worked too late!
Edgeworth: Har har. Clearly this fic takes place at my own home and opened up in my private office, as opposed to the one in Prosecutor's Building like we originally assumed.
Kay: So how come you took a nap on your couch instead of just going to the next room over and using your bed?
Edgeworth: ...
Kay: That got a penalty, didn't it?
Edgeworth: Why do I even bother?
Quote:
Miles smirked: he wouldn't have any way out.
He entered the room as well and firmly closed the door behind them.
He closed the windows as well and looked under his bed.
Maya: You'd think you'd have, like, a bathroom attached to your room or something.
Edgeworth: Evidently not.
Phoenix: And why close the windows? I don't think mouse-me is going to be able to get up there.
Kay: Why were the open in the first place? You weren't even in the room.
Edgeworth: Apparently I enjoy having bugs fly into my bedroom while I'm working.
Quote:
Poor innocent creature. He was there, panting and breathing heavily in tiredness, believing he was safe.
Miles knelled and leaned his hand under the bed, closing his fingers firmly as he felt the smaller body against his palm.
Phoenix: And how come I didn't run when I saw Edgeworth's giganto hand coming toward me?
Maya: Maybe we shouldn't be applying logic to this fic.
Edgeworth: It's not as though there's anything else going on right now.
Quote:
Then he brought it closer to his face.
The lawyer was horrified. For the first time, he had been caught.
Edgeworth: And then I released him humanely into the woods around Gourd Lake.
Phoenix: Where I was eaten by a bird.
Kay: I know, Mr. Edgeworth! You could save on gas by just feeding Mr. Wright directly to that ponytailed prosecutor's pet hawk!
Edgeworth: Duly noted, Kay. (And don't let Blackquill hear you referring to his hawk as a "pet".)
Quote:
''Seems like I'm winning this time'', the prosecutor smirked, sitting at the mattress and staring down at the smaller man.
Phoenix trembled with puppy eyes.
Maya: I thought he was a mouse.
Kay: Aren't hybrids pretty popular in the fur fandom?
Phoenix: What are you talking about?
Quote:
''P-Please don't eat me!'', he begged. Miles blinked at his sentence. What did he just say?
''...Wait, what?''.
Edgeworth: Redundancy. What's the point? Padding your wordcount? Why?
Phoenix: I guess the longer the better for this, uh...
Maya: Creepy fetish stuff.
Phoenix: Yeah, that. ...huh?
Quote:
The attorney hesitated to repeat it again, so he just said:
''I-I don't want to be eaten...''.
So he didn't want to be eaten, hm? Miles wondered why he was saying that. Was it just by the fact that he was able to swallow him due to their different size?
Kay: Vore in 3, 2...
Phoenix: Ahh, so that's what... that
is creepy.
Maya: The worst part is that this isn't even that bad so far!
Edgeworth: ..."worst"?
Quote:
Miles scanned Phoenix's body shape and, indeed, found it...delicious.
Edgeworth: *groans*
Kay: I can't decide if the fact that "delicious" is literal here makes it funnier or not.
Phoenix: It makes it more disturbing.
Quote:
He quickly started to fantasize about swallowing him alive and feel him making a small bulge on his throat, feeling him slide it down and end up on his stomach.
Maya: Um, ew?
Edgeworth: What am I, a snake?
Phoenix: I thought we agreed that you were a cat.
Edgeworth: We didn't agree on anything of the sort.
Quote:
As he did this, his mouth started to salivate. But he didn't want this to be so quick, did he?
''...We'll make a small treat, lil' mouse'', he smirked after thinking about it for a while.
Maya: Nick, are you suuuuure you aren't actually a mouse?
Phoenix: Not really.
Edgeworth: ...I'm afraid to see what comes next.
Quote:
''But if you don't agree, I'll have to...eat you.''
Phoenix nodded.
''W-Whatever you want! I'll do anything you want me to do!'', Phoenix said, willing to do anything but be eaten.
Kay: Duh, he just said as much. Protip, people, you don't need to say in your prose what you just said in your dialogue!
Maya: And I'm pretty sure that applies in Spanish, too!
Quote:
''Alright, we'll do this...''.
Miles approached his tiny ear and softly whispered something against it. Phoenix's face became blank as he finished.
Maya: *as Phoenix* You want me to...
leave your home? But where else am I supposed to steal food from?
Phoenix: ...I don't sound like that!
Quote:
He was unsure. Doing what he said or get eaten?
Edgeworth: Don't tell me the ultimatum was something... unsavory...
Kay: What kind of ambiguously furry vorefic would this be if it weren't?
Quote:
But he didn't want to, so he had to do what he commanded.
''...O...OK'', he finally answered.
Maya: Well, if it is something "unsavory", then I think we're about to watch itty-bitty Nick get raped.
Phoenix: ....
Kay: Hang in there, Mr. Wright!
Quote:
The prosecutor smiled, leaning his back against the pillow, smacking his own lips as he unzipped his own pants.
Maya: Oh... we actually are...
Edgeworth: Sometimes I hate being right.
Kay: And being out-of-character.
Phoenix: Why do people keep writing this stuff?
Maya: At least there'll be a cut summary soon, right?
Phoenix: Maya, that's not a good thing.
Quote:
However, he stopped there, looking at the smaller creature again just to add something more:
''If you don't please me enough...I'll have to eat you, lil' mouse'', he smirked.
Kay: He's gonna eat you anyway!
Maya: Yeah, you might as well try to get out of this with some dignity intact!
Phoenix: I'm already in the sporking theatre. It's too late for that.
Quote:
''I-I promise you'll be the most pleased you can ever think of!'', the attorney exclaimed,
Edgeworth: If you want to please me, Wright, find a way for us to get out of here.
Phoenix: You're the one who insists that it can't be done.
Kay: Oh, just use the airvents!
Edgeworth: You're the only one who can get up there, Kay.
Kay: Do some more chin-ups, Mr. Edgeworth.
[Edgeworth licks all over tiny Phoenix's body.]Maya: That sounds unsanitary.
Phoenix: ...wasn't I afraid of being eaten two minutes ago?
[Then he rubs the tiny Phoenix all over his penis.]Edgeworth: That sounds... uncomfortable.
Phoenix: For a lot of reasons.
Maya: Where do these fetishes come from? I don't understand.
Kay: That's just one of the great mysteries of the world.
Edgeworth: And one of the "great mysteries" best left unsolved.
Quote:
Then he re-opened them back again, staring at the exhausted prosecutor.
''D...Did I do it well?'', he asked, sitting up and whipping out some of the white liquid over himself.
Phoenix: E-Eww...
Maya: "Whipping"? Like whipped cream-?
Phoenix: Mental images, Maya!! Have mercy!
Quote:
However, he was still hard.
Miles panted and tried to catch his breath.
''...I'm afraid you didn't...'', Miles smirked. Phoenix looked even more mouthwatering than before. Like a chicken with added sauce.
All: Ew.
Edgeworth: Definitely unsanitary.
Quote:
''You look even more delicious more, so I guess I'll have to eat you.''
Kay: Aaaand there he goes. He'll be missed.
Maya: Rest in peace, Nick.
Edgeworth: Goodnight, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
Phoenix: Guys, I'm right here...
Quote:
Phoenix trembled as Miles leaned in on top of him, face directly over his body.
''P-Please don't!'', he begged. ''I-I did what I could, don't blame me!-''.
Miles shook his head.
''And you weren't good enough to satisfy me, Wright. There's no coming back.
Kay: Once you go vore, you'll never return!
Maya: Once you go furry, you'll stay in a hurry!
Kay: Once you go mac/micro, you'll never want to go!
Maya: Once you go fic, you won't call in sick!
Edgeworth: Please stop.
Quote:
But don't worry, I won't rip your body appart. I'll do everything in a way you'll love it.''
Phoenix: But... I'm being eaten.
Kay: Fetishes, Mr. Wright. Don't try to understand them.
Phoenix: I really don't want to.
Quote:
Phoenix blinked, unsure. Miles smacked his own lips before passing his tongue against his dirty body again.
The attorney was still erected, so the fact that he was doing this again was making him feel pleasure again.
Maya: Blah, that sounds so dry and boring.
Edgeworth: It's better that way.
Maya: Not for the reader.
Phoenix: Yes, but for the sporker, it is. I'm still trying to keep my sanity here.
Edgeworth: I wasn't aware that you had any left after Breathing Is A Necessity.
Phoenix: (Why did we agree to never talk about it again if we were just going to keep referencing it...?)
Quote:
''A-Ahh...!'', he groaned out loud, squirming against his tongue, feeling the prosecutor breathing warmly against his body.
In a moment, Miles leaned his lower lip under the smaller man's legs, about to make him enter inside of his mouth.
Edgeworth opened his eyes and stared into Phoenix's, asking if he liked this.
Phoenix: No. No, I don't.
Kay: Welcome to the sporking theatre, Mr. Wright!
Quote:
Phoenix didn't do anything but close his eyes again, panting a bit and feeling his cock being to pulse.
The prosecutor closed his lips and started sucking at his body softly, covering the lower part of his anatomy with saliva, toying with him on his entrance, making him enter a bit more.
Maya: ...okay, see, usually, in these types of fics, when they say "entrance" they mean-
Phoenix: I don't want to hear it, Maya.
Maya: Just pointing it out!
Quote:
''A-ahhh...hn...E-Edgeworth...'', the lawyer panted. ''I-I love it...k-keep...g-goin...-!''.
Edgeworth: And you keep calling
me suicidal.
Phoenix: Clearly I'm just trying to escape the fic.
Quote:
Seeing how much he was enjoying this, Miles made him enter into his mouth completely.
Kay: Where he suffocated. The end!
Maya: Vore is a cruel mistress.
Quote:
Phoenix was surrounded by saliva and cum, and oh good the tongue was caressing his whole body. It felt so ticklish and pleasant.
Edgeworth: Those are the last two words I'd ascribe to anything in this fic.
Phoenix: What are the first two words?
Edgeworth: "Disturbing" and either "disgusting" or "impractical".
Quote:
Now he didn't care the fact of being eaten. He loved the humidity of his mouth.
Maya: Speaking of humidity... don't tell me
this is why the Management decided to turn it up in here...
Speakers:
Maybe we're actually amphibious/reptilian and need the humidity to survive. Did you consider that, Maya Fey?Maya: What, so the Management is comprised of lizardmen?
Kay: Illuminati confirmed!
Quote:
Miles could feel the mix of his saliva and his cum rolling down his lower lip. And he could feel his throat opening as well.
Edgeworth: Is it normally closed? Did I spend most of the fic choking to death?
Phoenix: That would explain why everything is so insane. You're hallucinating as you die.
Maya: I'm pretty sure you can't get to heaven if that was the last thing you imagined before you died.
Edgeworth: We're already in hell, aren't we?
Speakers:
Hey!Quote:
To make everything easier, Edgeworth raised up his head a bit.
Finally, Phoenix could feel himself to the highest point of ecstasy as he slipped down his oesophagus, and came inside of the taller man's throat.
Edgeworth: More redundancy. Of course he came into fic-me's throat; he was just sliding down fic-me's esophagus.
Kay: I don't think it's that definition of "came", Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: ...someone really should be monitoring your internet access.
Quote:
As the attorney made his way down his cavity, the taller man let out a small hybrid of a gasp and a pant, feeling his palate enjoying all of this.
Phoenix: So if fic-Edgeworth's fetish is swallowing things, how does he eat regular meals?
Maya: I really don't wanna think about it...
Kay: Maybe he just didn't eat - Mr. Wright kept stealing all his food. And he had to be hungry enough to eat a small man and/or mouse somehow!
Edgeworth: *puts head in hands, sighs deeply*
Quote:
Phoenix slipped down his oesophagus, feeling his body tightened as he made his way, his body still trembling because of the sensation of the orgasm forsaking his body.
He closed his eyes, feeling like if he was in a sauna, and everything was so comfortable...
Phoenix: At least
one of us is enjoying himself.
Quote:
As expected, he end up on his stomach.
The attorney curled up on his digestive muscle, letting out a small sigh. This was even better than an actual bed.
Maya: Do you usually sleep in stomach acid, Nick?
Phoenix: Well, I hear it's great for the skin. Chemical exfoliation, you know.
Quote:
Miles cleaned his mouth and smacked his lips, putting a hand on his stomach, passing it gently over it.
''That was fantastic'', Miles declared. ''You taste so fine...if I would eat you again, I would do it with no doubts, lil' mouse.''
Phoenix smiled.
''I'm glad you enjoyed this. I also did...'', after this, he let out a small yawn. ''My God, I feel sleepy...good night, Miles.''
''Good night, Wright'', he responded, curling against the pillow and closing his eyes.
Edgeworth: How are we talking to each other when you're in my stomach? ...hm, never thought a sentence like that would ever come out of my mouth.
Maya: The sporking theatre is a magical place.
Quote:
The next morning, Miles woke up kind of later than usual.
He was sleeping so comfortably he didn't want to wake up.
But he finally did.
He rubbed his eyes and looked at his stomach.
''Phoenix?'', he said, not receiving any response back.
Miles blinked, stunned. Maybe he...?
Phoenix: Digested me?
Maya: Better than the alternative, of course.
Phoenix: What, staying in this fic?
Maya: ...uh, sure. That's totally what I meant!
Quote:
''...Wright, are you...?'', he asked again, but again, he didn't receive any response.
Alright. Now Miles was horrified.
''WRIGHT?!''.
Did he just digest him?! No, it was impossible, but...!
Kay: But Mr. Wright has plot armor!
Phoenix: I think my plot armor was negated by the vore.
Speakers:
Plot armor jokes count as breaking the fourth wall, which is strictly prohibited in this theatre.Kay: You can't tell me what to do!
Quote:
...In reallity, it was. He ate him after all, didn't he?
Miles was horrified. He killed the person he loved the most.
Maya: Haha, what?
Edgeworth: There was supposed to be romance in this fic? We must have missed it.
Phoenix: Maybe it was in the sex scene. ..."sex" scene.
Speakers:
Nah. No romance up until this point.Kay: Well, that was random, then.
Quote:
''...S-Shit!'', he cried out loud, cleaning his tears with the back of his hand.
Edgeworth: *sigh* I'd like these authors to point out where I have, in any of the games, even
once, used such strong language.
Speakers:
The Management would like to remind Miles Edgeworth that breaking the fourth wall is forbidden. Again.Quote:
Suddenly, the doorbell was rung. Maybe it was Gumshoe? But he didn't want him to see him like this.
Before he could open the door, he asked through it.
''W-Who are you?''.
''Miles, it's me, Phoenix!'', he received in response.
Kay: *as Edgeworth* No you're not. Wright and I aren't on a first-name basis. Go away.
Edgeworth: I do not sound like that.
Maya: Actually, that was pretty good.
Edgeworth: Hmph.
Quote:
…
Miles was stunned. How was it possible?
He opened it and Wright indeed was.
''I just came to visit you. Is something the matter?''.
Phoenix: So you really
were hallucinating?
Edgeworth: Apparently.
Kay: Pffbt. Lame.
Quote:
Miles was much calm now. He smiled, opening his arms and wrapping them around the attorney's body.
''No, it isn't...'', he replied. Phoenix was a bit confused. He didn't expect Edgeworth to be so affectionate.
Phoenix: Oooor out-of-character.
Maya: But you're used to this by now.
Phoenix: Unfortunately. I want my life back...
Quote:
However, he decided to shrug it off and surround his arms around his neck, leaving a small kiss on his cheek.
''...My lil' mouse...''.
Kay: So are you going to ask Mr. Edgeworth when he randomly became a furry?
Phoenix: I'd rather not know, thanks.
Edgeworth: What a coincidence. Neither would I.
Quote:
THE END.