Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 6:57 am

Also I remember this fic, it's not much of an Ace Attorney fic, as much as it is a fic with Ace Attorney characters, but it's quite funny, and the chapters aren't that long, so someone could spork the whole thing. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5447374/1/Ms-Maya

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:25 am

I honestly don't know how to rate this. It was good, but at the same time it was horrible. There were too many OCs in my opinion, but they weren't Mary Sues. I'll just give this 2 Sahwits.

We open up in the Childrens Theater, a new theater made exclusively for children
Our sporkers today are...

Miles Edgeworth
Edgeworth: I'm not even a child, yet I'm still forced to sit through this?

Cody Hackins
Cody : Awesome! Am I getting to watch the new Pink Princess episode?

Pearl Fey (Trilogy)
Edgeworth : Hmmm...I was told there would be another here. It'd better be an adult, I don't want to be stuck here with a bunch of children...
Pearl : Oh, lighten up! It can't be that bad, I mean the theater looks much more fun this time!
Cody : Huh? What are you guys talking about? More fun? Of course it'll be fun! It's the Pink Princess!
??? : I'm not going in unless I get a swiss roll!
Edgeworth : Hmmm...? It couldn't be...Kay?
Guard : Okay...fine, just don't kick me again, please!
Kay : Yay! Thanks, mister!
[Kay walks in, a big smile and swiss roll in hand...following her is...Younger Kay?]
Management : This is highly irregular, but we couldn't think of any other children to bring, and to have two of the same people seems like it could be quite fun.
Edgeworth : (I am tempted to mention a time paradox...)
[The lights dim]

Spoiler:

Just leave, we don't need you judging us...
*surveillance goes off, and the management can be heard sobbing*
I would do more, but I'm not in the right frame of mind, and it trailed off near the end. I'll do more tomorrow maybe.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 8:10 am

Does anyone wanna work with me in the next part? This was a trainwreck...

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 2:21 pm

I had a nice long criticism for you but my internet died as I was trying to submit the post and I didn't save it so you get the bulletlisted version instead.

- Descriptive narration is supposed to be in italics. This makes it easier to read.
- There's supposed to be a line break in between sporkers' lines. Hit enter an extra time. This makes it easier to read.
- Quotes from the fic are supposed to go in quote boxes. Click the "quote" button at the top of the post. This makes it easier to read.
- I like the idea of a children's theatre (or at least of a mostly-children spork), but you should describe how it's different from the regular theatre. Are the seats smaller? Less padded? Is the screen bigger?
- I like the idea of having more than one version of a character in the theatre at a time (I was actually planning on doing it myself at some point, but had yet to find the perfect fic for it, so you beat me to it, haha), but since you forgot that younger Kay was there, you should have just edited her out entirely. Or at least described how older Kay managed to smuggle her out, and included the Management's reaction to that, because they would definitely feel threatened by Kay smuggling sporkers out.
- Older Kay didn't have an introduction. True, she's pretty much never actually in the "Today's sporkers are..." lists, but she should have had some lines before the Management pointed out she was there.
- Your characterization is kind of sloppy. You need to work on that, or at least have someone else look over your sporkings before you post them.
- When having more than one character say a line, it's best to keep the line very short.
- Do your best not to have sporkings trail off towards the end (I know, I struggle with this, too). If you're having trouble with it, save it and come back to it later. You don't need to write it all at once. Most people don't... (right? Personally, I do, but I've been sporking stuff for five years, so I can get away with it.)

So yeah. It was a good try, but you really need an editor. I hope that's what you mean by "work with me in the next part". Feel free to send your spork to me if no one else volunteers!

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 2:49 pm

I'm just going through some random sporks, so may I ask what the

rating is.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 2:54 pm

is when the fic in question is not in English. The French one that I sporked was actually pretty good, and back in the old thread there was a Spanish fic that was also pretty good (I think), so presumably a bad non-English fic would be rated normally.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 2:58 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:I had a nice long criticism for you but my internet died as I was trying to submit the post and I didn't save it so you get the bulletlisted version instead.

- Descriptive narration is supposed to be in italics. This makes it easier to read.
- There's supposed to be a line break in between sporkers' lines. Hit enter an extra time. This makes it easier to read.
- Quotes from the fic are supposed to go in quote boxes. Click the "quote" button at the top of the post. This makes it easier to read.
- I like the idea of a children's theatre (or at least of a mostly-children spork), but you should describe how it's different from the regular theatre. Are the seats smaller? Less padded? Is the screen bigger?
- I like the idea of having more than one version of a character in the theatre at a time (I was actually planning on doing it myself at some point, but had yet to find the perfect fic for it, so you beat me to it, haha), but since you forgot that younger Kay was there, you should have just edited her out entirely. Or at least described how older Kay managed to smuggle her out, and included the Management's reaction to that, because they would definitely feel threatened by Kay smuggling sporkers out.
- Older Kay didn't have an introduction. True, she's pretty much never actually in the "Today's sporkers are..." lists, but she should have had some lines before the Management pointed out she was there.
- Your characterization is kind of sloppy. You need to work on that, or at least have someone else look over your sporkings before you post them.
- When having more than one character say a line, it's best to keep the line very short.
- Do your best not to have sporkings trail off towards the end (I know, I struggle with this, too). If you're having trouble with it, save it and come back to it later. You don't need to write it all at once. Most people don't... (right? Personally, I do, but I've been sporking stuff for five years, so I can get away with it.)

So yeah. It was a good try, but you really need an editor. I hope that's what you mean by "work with me in the next part". Feel free to send your spork to me if no one else volunteers!

Yes sir, siiiiiir! :mike-salute:

I'll work on it later today. Please forgive the bad sporking, I'm still a primary school student and don't get much time to type etc. so I rush a bit. I'll try and slow down a bit next time. But how do I send it to you? Just copy it and send as a pm?

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 3:04 pm

Oh dear, primary school? Are you sure you're old enough to be reading some of these sporks?

But yes, just copy/paste and send as PM.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 3:22 pm

This post never happened.

Skittlemask · Post by **Skittlemask** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 3:25 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Oh dear, primary school? Are you sure you're old enough to be reading some of these sporks?

I was thinking the same exact thing, especially with my, uh, recent sporking. Then again I always liked reading young-adult books when I got to fourth grade.

Anyway @ob9410, it was a commendable effort. A lot of the problems are formatting situations, which could be easily fixed. I agree with everything Airey said, and I don't have much more to add. Considering this was your first sporking, I think you should've worked with less characters. You had Edgeworth, young Kay, normal Kay, 16 year old Ema, Cody, and Trilogy-era Pearl. It gets difficult to juggle all these characters at once and make them all have about the same length of screentime (in my last sporking, since I'm new at this, I had difficulty managing four, never mind six.) You even made young Kay disappear in the middle, when you should've just written her out altogether.

I do like that you had two of the same character in the same sporking though. I was planning on doing the same thing with Feenie and normal Nick, but I didn't go out searching for a fic yet. Be careful with your grammar and characterization, but with an editor like Airey or anyone here, you should be fine.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 3:28 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Oh dear, primary school? Are you sure you're old enough to be reading some of these sporks?

But yes, just copy/paste and send as PM.

Meh, I iz t3h h4rdC0r3z. I honestly enjoy the sporks though. And that's why I read them. Also, is that villain management thing still allowed? *hint hint*

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 3:30 pm

Skittlemask wrote:
AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Oh dear, primary school? Are you sure you're old enough to be reading some of these sporks?
I was thinking the same exact thing, especially with my, uh, recent sporking. Then again I always liked reading young-adult books when I got to fourth grade.

Anyway @ob9410, it was a commendable effort. A lot of the problems are formatting situations, which could be easily fixed. I agree with everything Airey said, and I don't have much more to add. Considering this was your first sporking, I think you should've worked with less characters. You had Edgeworth, young Kay, normal Kay, 16 year old Ema, Cody, and Trilogy-era Pearl. It gets difficult to juggle all these characters at once and make them all have about the same length of screentime (in my last sporking, since I'm new at this, I had difficulty managing four, never mind six.) You even made young Kay disappear in the middle, when you should've just written her out altogether.

I do like that you had two of the same character in the same sporking though. I was planning on doing the same thing with Feenie and normal Nick, but I didn't go out searching for a fic yet. Be careful with your grammar and characterization, but with an editor like Airey or anyone here, you should be fine.

I started reading The Dead Zone in grade 2 or 3, so I doubt that's a problem.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 3:34 pm

I know I started reading stuff like Stiff (the one posted to my Tumblr) when I was your age, but look at me now, I'm a maladjusted NEET stuck in a sporking theatre. Don't take this path, kid.

But yes, as far as I know, villain Management is still allowed. I would only recommend it for more experienced sporkers, though.

ETA: P.S. Try not to double-post, it's against forum rules, or maybe it's just rude, I forget. You can reply to more that one person in the same post.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 3:39 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:I know I started reading stuff like Stiff (the one posted to my Tumblr) when I was your age, but look at me now, I'm a maladjusted NEET stuck in a sporking theatre. Don't take this path, kid.

But yes, as far as I know, villain Management is still allowed. I would only recommend it for more experienced sporkers, though.

ETA: P.S. Try not to double-post, it's against forum rules, or maybe it's just rude, I forget. You can reply to more that one person in the same post.

Well there was a certain old woman I wanted to put in, but sporker would do her no justice, especially not in the fic I'm doing, and where the sporking is........~~Also Engarde and Gant~~

luck · Post by **luck** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:01 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote: is when the fic in question is not in English. The French one that I sporked was actually pretty good, and back in the old thread there was a Spanish fic that was also pretty good (I think), so presumably a bad non-English fic would be rated normally.

Actually, I happen to be Spanish and I remember finding that fic in the old thread kind of strange. From what I recall, Franziska was angsting in a cemetery because Manfred had killed Edgeworth and Phoenix with bomb-letters. He had tried to kill her, too. And I think she was in love with one of them, but I don't remember who.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:05 pm

luck wrote:
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: is when the fic in question is not in English. The French one that I sporked was actually pretty good, and back in the old thread there was a Spanish fic that was also pretty good (I think), so presumably a bad non-English fic would be rated normally.
Actually, I happen to be Spanish and I remember finding that fic in the old thread kind of strange. From what I recall, Franziska was angsting in a cemetery because Manfred had killed Edgeworth and Phoenix with bomb-letters. He had tried to kill her, too. And I think she was in love with one of them, but I don't remember who.

Well.
Maybe that's due for a respork, with a proper translation this time.

(And maybe I should find some genuine French badfic. I need to practice, anyway.)

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:18 pm

I wouldn't take the

rating seriously. The first time it was used, it was used as a joke for that Spanish fic. Since Godot was the one translating for Nick and Edgey, he ended up trolling the heck out of them by mistranslating it. I would think it's one up for a resporking, but I don't recall what fic it was.

Since I translated the Japanese fan comic I sporked last time, I treated it as a normal sporking. If I had left it completely untranslated, then it'd be viable for a

.

Late reply, but I have to say a Children's Theater doesn't sound too bad, considering that there are plenty of fics out there that aren't graphic in the least; just immature. Nonetheless, I would use it sparingly just because it's not that easy writing up a sporking with most of the cast as children. You'd think they'd be easier to characterize, but they aren't.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:21 pm

is what happens when bilingual sporkers get bored.

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:28 pm

Honestly, if another bilingual sporker gets bored again and comes up with a troll-sporking, I'm all up for it.

Speaking of which, weren't there a couple fics you recommended that were fics sent through Google Translate or something? One of them was called "Engrish", I think.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:31 pm

Yeah, it was like Engrish and I think I also posted Engrish 2. They'd both be linked in the big fic source link post... thing. That should really be updated again.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:45 pm

Ms. Airey, siiiiiiir! I sent you the report on my spork so far, sir! :mike-salute:

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:46 pm

Ms. Airey, siiiiiiir! I sent you the report on my spork so far, sir! :mike-salute:

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:48 pm

Pfft, you posted that right as I finished editing it.

Skittlemask · Post by **Skittlemask** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:53 pm

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:I wouldn't take the rating seriously. The first time it was used, it was used as a joke for that Spanish fic. Since Godot was the one translating for Nick and Edgey, he ended up trolling the heck out of them by mistranslating it. I would think it's one up for a resporking, but I don't recall what fic it was.

That Spanish fic is called "ImPerfect Wish" and the one who sporked it last time was Inigo Montoya, you can find the fic here if someone who knows Spanish wants to re-spork it.

I actually did find a genuinely not very good Portuguese fic that I can translate and spork. It's about Mia coming back from the dead in her own body and going to ~~kiss~~ visit Phoenix. Actually, it seems like a good idea to spork that since I forgot so much over the summer; my Portuguese teacher isn't going to be too happy with me.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:58 pm

Go for it!

I think the format for translated sporkings is to include the original fic along with the translation, also.
Does anyone know any low-tier French fanfiction sites? I find French fics on AO3 all the time but AO3 is pretentious and reading the French fics there gives me a headache.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:23 pm

I sent the last copy of the spork, Airey. This symbol was needed. 10/10

Also has anyone sporked this https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UZT ... m4/preview it's an old fan fic where Phoenix, Maya and...some others do cases in SSB universes. They're usually short, but a bit of fun.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:27 pm

So in this thread I have been Kay, Missile, and now Batman. Okay.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:33 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:So in this thread I have been Kay, Missile, and now Batman. Okay.

...Yes. Hello MS. Batman.

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:35 pm

If you're Batman, what does that make me? :(

AireyVerkhovensky wrote: I think the format for translated sporkings is to include the original fic along with the translation, also.
Does anyone know any low-tier French fanfiction sites? I find French fics on AO3 all the time but AO3 is pretentious and reading the French fics there gives me a headache.

Sorry to say I know nothing of French, so I can't be sure this will be any better, but FF.net does have a language filter for easier searching.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:38 pm

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:If you're Batman, what does that make me? :(

The most adorable puppy ever.

~~Also an awesome sporker~~

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:43 pm

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:If you're Batman, what does that make me? :(

Superman?

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
AireyVerkhovensky wrote: I think the format for translated sporkings is to include the original fic along with the translation, also.
Does anyone know any low-tier French fanfiction sites? I find French fics on AO3 all the time but AO3 is pretentious and reading the French fics there gives me a headache.
Sorry to say I know nothing of French, so I can't be sure this will be any better, but FF.net does have a language filter for easier searching.

Oh yeah... now that I think about it, there was some fandom on ff.net that had a kajillion slashfics in French...

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:44 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:If you're Batman, what does that make me? :(
Superman?

You still beat him though...

luck · Post by **luck** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:44 pm

Skittlemask wrote:
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:I wouldn't take the rating seriously. The first time it was used, it was used as a joke for that Spanish fic. Since Godot was the one translating for Nick and Edgey, he ended up trolling the heck out of them by mistranslating it. I would think it's one up for a resporking, but I don't recall what fic it was.
That Spanish fic is called "ImPerfect Wish" and the one who sporked it last time was Inigo Montoya, you can find the fic here if someone who knows Spanish wants to re-spork it.

I actually did find a genuinely not very good Portuguese fic that I can translate and spork. It's about Mia coming back from the dead in her own body and going to ~~kiss~~ visit Phoenix. Actually, it seems like a good idea to spork that since I forgot so much over the summer; my Portuguese teacher isn't going to be too happy with me.

I didn't recall correctly, it seems. It's not specified how Edgeworth died. Only Phoenix and Franziska received bomb-letters. And he isn't dead, he's in a comma. But Manfred killed Franziska's brother and her mother too. And there's no romance whatsoever ( maybe seeing shipping everywhere is a side effect of this thread).
The fic isn't bad overall, but it has some narm moments that break the serious tone. I think it wouldn't be easy to spork, but it wouldn't be immposible either. Anyways, I won't be able to translate it in the near future because my computer is out of commision. (I'm on my phone).

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:45 pm

Does anyone want to see the second part of my Turnabout Gender sporking?

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:51 pm

ob9410 wrote:
AireyVerkhovensky wrote:
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:If you're Batman, what does that make me? :(
Superman?
You still beat him though...

luck wrote:The fic isn't bad overall, but it has some narm moments that break the serious tone. I think it wouldn't be easy to spork, but it wouldn't be immposible either. Anyways, I won't be able to translate it in the near future because my computer is out of commision. (I'm on my phone).

I know that feel so well, bro. Best of luck to your computer or whatever. Narm is always fun and I like your sporkings.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:54 pm

Superman?

You still beat him though...

[/quote]
Touche.

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:55 pm

I'm not sure where these analogies are complements or something else entirely.

I happened to find a Jap fic on AO3, and it's not that bad, per say, but the whole OC shipping and awkward OOCness does make it a viable contender.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 10:13 pm

*A strange figure enters, with a trench coat and hat covering all features, and dumps a tape on a table* Watch this trash. Goodbye.
We return to the Childrens Theater, the place where dreams... come true Who writes this crap?
Our Spo---err...guests today are...
Mike Meekins

W-What was I supposed to do, sir?
Cody Hackins

Woah! The Theater looks like a real theater this time!
Trucy Wright

Oooh, am I doing a performance here?
[Meekins stands idly in front of the screen, saluting... something, whilst Trucy comes in, along with Cody, listening to an explanation from the latter.]
Cody : So then the Steel Samurai came, and beat the Evil Magistrate up! I even took a picture!

Trucy : Huh...they usually play more...mature fics.

A trailer mimicking Super Smash Bros. plays on screen

----John Marsh Moooooooves the Audience----

John : What's this? Why am I hear? *he puts a milk carton into his backpack*

Trucy : Ooh! A new kid! Welcome to the...what are they calling it?

Speakers : Just shut your yaps and sit down, the sporkings starting, whippersnappers

John takes his place at a nearby chair, and puts his feet up infront of him.

Speakers : Hey Hornhead, get your feet off of that chair

Trucy : I can almost FEEL the sweat dripping off of those speakers...is she that angry over this?

[The lights dim and the fic begins playing on the 3 meter high screen, not matching the cheery decor of the room]

"I tried calling Wright this morning because he forgot to return my deck of cards but i wasn't able to reach him, is anything wrong perchance?"

Trucy : Huh? Why are we opening here? W-what's happening with Daddy?

Speakers : Are poor excuse of a management - full of whipper snappers mind you - forced the sporking to stop midway through, now move on, make this ENTERTAINING We can easily send you back to Gatewater Land, Ms. Badger...

Maya froze in horror, she couldn't tell Edgeworth about that mystery woman in Nicks bed, she decided to lie and hope that the topic would die down. "Well actually he called me this morning and told me that he was sick and not to worry about coming in this morning. I went to the office to check on him and when i did i saw him fast asleep on his bed, so i came here until he wakes up."

Trucy : Mystery woman...? Does this mean I'm getting a new mommy?

Cody : No, your dad turned into a girl. But what does it matter? Let's get back to the Steel Samura---

Don't you DARE mention that series...it killed my poor Hammer...*sobs*

Meekins : Sorry siiiiir! I'll take them under arrest, siiiiiiir!

Trucy : (W-wait...wha? I don't understand this at all...maybe it'll be explained...?)

Edgeworth pondered on this for a minute, nothing about her statement seemed unusual so he decided to accept it and drop the subject. Maya and Edgeworth continued their chatter for the time being.

Trucy : Yeaaah, it just so happens that Daddy gets sick, then you just so happen to go wherever this is, and it just so happens daddy slept at the office instead of at home. (Dear Reader, Please don't get mad at me for ruining your head canon. From ob9410)

Meekins : What are you talking about, sir? This is top quality material, sir!

John : I have to agree with magic girl over there, this makes zero sense.

But of course, dudes, I mean this is the sporking theater right? Why do I have to be here? WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, WHIPPERSNAPPER?! You remind me of that lawyer, always appearing and disappearing through teleportation always with "new evidence, or topics" or some stuff like that and--- The Management has been cut off by technical difficulties, we will play some calming music until we're back online, thank you.

All : ...

Subway Station-2 miles from Tres Bien

March 21 12:30 PM

Trucy : Huh?

John : Maybe we'll get some decent writing now.

Cody : Yeah! With the...err...Pink Princess! (I would prefer the Steel Samurai though, curse you mean old lady!)

Trucy and John : Fat chance.

Cody : *pulls at sword* B-Be quiet!

John : It'd be more likely to see the President of Zheng Fa playing with a Moozilla doll *snorts*

Meekins : I love them both, SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRS!

Trucy : (All this from a time, date, and place...Even my panties can't match that!)

Phoenix hurried down the Subway Station hoping to make it to the train station for the Train to Kurain Village, along the way he kept getting whistles from guys, comments about their figure and one man even pushed them to the wall with both arms to their side trying to smooth talk their way through, Although a good kick to the crotch shut him up pretty fast. Phoenix ran up the steps onto the busy streets and tried to call for a cab. As they ran along the streets trying to call for a cab they heard a very fa-miler voice call out to them.

Trucy : D-Daddy?!

Phoenix : I don't know how I got here, but why is Fic-Me being sexually assaulted...by other guys?

Trucy : Daddy?!?!

Phoenix : Why are you so shocked about this, Trucy? Argh, doesn't matter.Let's just move onto the problems now...please. First off, fa-miller? Some sort of alien family? Or is that the word for family?

John : I just noticed that there's flirting here, and kicks to the crotch. WHY is this in the childrens theater?

Phoenix : This isn't half as bad as some other fic--- Let's just forget that... (Stiff never happened...calm down Phoenix...am I actually getting PTSD...?)

"Hey Pretty lady wait up! The Love god Larry is here!" Phoenix couldn't have wanted to see Larry any less than right now(and that was saying a lot) Phoenix tried to continue calling for a cab but Larry eventually grabbed their arm and spun them around.

Phoenix : LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

[Somewhere far away]

Larry : Wait a second, Jane, I think I hear another catch calling my name.

*slap* Jane : Another catch?

[Back at the Childrens Theater]

Meekins : W-Why with the yelling, sir? Only I may yell or scream. It's in the new rulebook.

Phoenix : This is "Security 4 Dummiez 1987 Edition"...

Cody : Wow, this can't get any more boring. Why can't anything follow the trail of the Steel Samurai?

You thought I was gone, did you? You're that brat from my Global Studios days, I'll get you...

Cody : *hides behind seat*

"In all my days as a traveling Artist, i have searched high and low for the perfect lady, and i can say without a doubt you are indeed a woman molded from Gods own hands." Larry grabbed both of Phoenix's hands and held them together while saying the most cheesy lines in history. Phoenix didn't know what to do, he could blow him off like all of Larry ex-girlfriends but with the way Larry was talking doing that could be bad, on the other hand he could try to act all bashful and give a excuse for leaving but give Larry his number(Larry didn't have his actual number anyway, so as long as he never called he be fine!). After a eternal struggle he decided on the latter.

Phoenix : As if that'd happen, of course he'll call you! He's LARRY, dammit Alternate Fic-Me.

Trucy : Uncle Larry...A traveling Artist? Is that a name or something? "Meet the amazing traveler, Mr. Artist of France!"

Let me call my producer, I'll tell him to pitch it. Seriously, why will no one save me?

Phoenix : Don't have ANY conversations with my daughter, Engarde. (Don't remember Law Plus Chaos...dangit Phoenix!)

"O-oh me? Why saying things like that is going to make me blush especially in public" Phoenix tried his best to act shy and bashful and it somehow worked.

Phoenix : W-What? I never bluff...I would KNOW it'd work before doing it! *sweats*

John : Learn to lie better.

Phoenix : I'm a liar, not a lawyer...crud.

Cody : Y-Yeah! You are a liar! You said the Steel Samurai could lose, but that's impossible!

[Larry tries to flirt with Phoenix, and he goes along with it, even going as far as to kiss Larry on the cheek]

Phoenix : Oh god......

Trucy : This is what travelers do now?

Phoenix : No, thankfully only Larry. (Right?)

Tres Bien

March 21 1:00 PM

Phoenix : This restaurant? Why here of all places?

Cody : Well actually, that Mayblah and Edgebarf were here earlier in the movie.

Phoenix : Oh, so Larry didn't take me here? Good. (Wait, movie?)

Maya and Edgeworth had been talking for a while now, Edgeworth had gone on about how to play chess and Maya was interested in every little detail about the game.

Phoenix : M-Maya interested in chess? Now I've seen everything.

Trucy : Is it really that weird Daddy? I mean, from what she tells me, she's a very refined woman, who is beyond your comprehension.

Phoenix : And you...believed that?

Trucy : Well duh, it was Mystic Mayas Magic...Mouth which came up with those words!

Phoenix : *sigh* I'll have to talk with her after this is finished.

John : Look, old man, we don't care for your daughter or your personal life, so let's move on.

Cody : *holding sword, trying to look cool* Yeah! W-What he said!

I agree with the whippersnappers, hurry up, you're even worse than this one guy who thought he was better than me and ran around all the time, and speaking of him there was this one time I got held up in traffic and everyone was going super fast, and this one daredevil super fast driver sped through the yellow light, at that point I flipp----The Management has been forced to mute the speakers again.

Larry and Phoenix had pulled up to the side of Tres Bien, Phoenix got off and handed Larry their number and was about to leave when Larry grabbed their shoulder winked and turned his face to the side revealing his cheek. Phoenix wanted to throw up, but knew he had to go along with it, he slowly etched his mouth forward and gave Larry a peck on the cheek. Fireworks went off In Larry heart, he started racing forward celebrating like he just won the lottery, he was so happy he didn't even notice Phoenix gagging and about to puke into the nearby trashcan.

Phoenix : This is quite accurate of what would happen...of course I better not be forced to act this out!

Trucy : Don't give them ideas, daddy.

Meekins : I for one would love to be a girl, if only for one day. I would be the the talk of the town. "Oh have you seen that Meekins? She's so cute" "Oh totally---"

Phoenix : HOLD IT! HOLD IT! OBJECTION! Please...It's one thing seeing this in a fic, but real life? I beg you, don't.

Meekins : Okay, siiiiiiiiir!

John : Hey, Noisy, quiet down. *glare*

Meekins : Eeeeek!

Larry eventually calmed down and ran and gave Phoenix a big embrace, Phoenix could feel his dinner from last night etching up his throat, Larry then let go and winked at them

Phoenix : "Them"? Is that supposed to be Alternate-Fic-Me or the dinner which appears to have gotten on Larry's face? Although admittedly the stench would suit him well.

Yes, get it, when something smells it's probably the Butz. I hate that saying, Nick!

Phoenix : Larry...working with the management? Why so sudden? Oh god...

Well it seems that dumb pretty boy who killed Juan ran back to prison and swapped with my charming assistant. *laughs*

"Well I'll be sure to get a hold of you soon, goodbye darling" Larry winked as he raced off on his bike occasionally looking back. Phoenix prayed Larry would lose his number and proceeded into the restaurant.

Phoenix : And thus the saga ends at last, at the restaurant Alternate-Fic-Me was attacked by mobsters out for his awesomeness, the end.

[the lights come back on]

Phoenix : Wait...this worked? Better not jinx it like last time...

[the lights dim]

Phoenix : Dang nabbit!

"So you see Maya, while Chess has more complicated rules than checkers it is still a game to be enjoyed by everyone." Edgeworth took a sip of his tea and quietly stared at Maya after he finished his explanation.

Phoenix : It still makes no sense that MAYA is learning to play CHESS! If Edgeworth used his fancy shmancy logic he would see that Maya + Chess = The Wrong Path of Logic

John : I don't know who any of you are. I just want to go back to Japan.

Cody : Huh? Don't! Stay here and we can watch Steel Samurai together!

"Wow, whenever Nick isn't busy I'll have to convince him to play sometime!" Maya had a look of sheer gleam in her eyes, Edgeworth on the other hand noticed something she just said.

Phoenix : No, you'll probably just cheat.

Trucy : She's not here Dadd--

Meekins : MS. FEY ISN'T HERE, SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!

John : Pfft, looking at this, what'd he say he was earlier? Oh yeah, Liar, I doubt he's busy very often.

Phoenix : ... (You're even worse than Cody)

"I thought you said Wright was sick, not busy." Edgeworth crossed his arms,closed his eyes, and tapped his arm waiting for Mayas response.

Phoenix : She never said I was busy in that sentence, she said she'll play with me when I'm NOT busy. I mean, last time I fell off a bridge, got a cold, and recovered from said cold in a day. I don't see what's so suspicious.

"O-Oh well yeah when hes not busy being sick eheh..." Edgeworth didn't buy it.

Phoenix : *facepalm* You literally just said I wasn't sick.

Meekins : Siiiiir! Could I meet this lady? She sounds really smart! She might replace Detective Gumshoe as my idol!

Phoenix : (I worry for this guys mental state)

Phoenix enters the restaurant (took long enough) and Edgeworth is stunned by her appearance, her initials are seen to be P.W...

Phoenix : Why summarize that instead of giving the real thing?

Trucy : Daddy, it's the management, they don't make sense. You haven't forgotten have you?

Phoenix : Err....I have amnesia again...?

hoenix pondered for a second, what could they say to Edgeworth to avoid a very awkward moment, finally they had a plan. "W-Well u-um you see sir...my name is Perry Wright...I'm a rookie attorney...i am following in my brothers shoes..."

Phoenix : Yes, and my childhood friend would have no clue about a sister, who HAPPENS to have the same initials, and HAPPENS to want to be a defense attorney. This is like Mary Sue-inizing me...

Trucy : Daddy, don't say that! You aren't perfect or even good!

All : ...

Trucy : What?

It didn't take Edgeworth a second to figure out her wording "Ah you must be Phoenix Wright sister, my name is Miles Edgeworth, a prosecutor and dear friend to your brother...Although I don't believe Wright ever mentioned having a sister...oh well" Edgeworth gave a small bow in which Phoenix almost considered running but froze when they saw Maya of all people walking up.

Phoenix : Oh no, not MAYA, how horrible! And again, how does Edgeworth believe this?

Introduction to Maya, Edgeworth brings up a "Prosecutors Ball" etc. he asks "Perry" to come with him, she accepts and gets money to buy a dress or something, the end.

Phoenix : That's...a lot to summarize.

Trucy : Didn't you hear the lady in the management earlier? She probably shortened it because she's a witch, and hates balls!

Phoenix : Was that an innuendo?

Trucy : No. Why?

Phoenix : Nothing.

It seems you whippersnappers were waiting here too long...THE LIGHTS ARE ON! LEAVE!

[And so the last two sporkers left. Will this sporking be adopted? No clue. Will I get better? Probably not. But see you all next time on Sporky Spork Z

cuteyounggirlplus · Post by **cuteyounggirlplus** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 10:27 pm

I like the atmosphere of the Children's Theater. It feels like The Sporking Theater on hyper speed.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 10:34 pm

cuteyounggirlplus wrote:I like the atmosphere of the Children's Theater. It feels like The Sporking Theater on hyper speed.

Someone...liked it? It was meant to be for kids...then it got out of hand. But it could be a permanent addition, for PG/G fics. An occasional Mother/Father/Mother Figure/Father Figure could appear, or even a goofball like Gumshoe or Meekins, to supervise. The only downside was...very few children. I was THIS close to making Shoe the (Mastermind) Cat as a sporker. I'm hoping to work on Ms. Maya next. That would definitely work with the Children's Theater. I just need to think who deserves this...actually pretty great fic.