Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Great Revival
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Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2015 6:40 am
Posts: 2453
[Welcome back to the Sporking Room, where our favorite word is fun!]
Todays Sporkers are...
Ms. MayaWhere's Nick?
Larry ButzW-What? I don't want to be here! I know that the management HAS to be lying! I won't appear this time...
Miles EdgeworthI'm stuck in here with Maya and Larry? Oh joy...
Maya: Lighten up, Edgeworth, Ms. Mighty Mystic Maya demands it!
Edgeworth: ...
Larry: Yeah Edgey, it's just you, Maya and me! What could possibly go wrong?
Edgeworth: (How about everything?)
[the lights dim]
Quote:
Maya entered her new class for the third time. This time, she had a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally big bible in her hands. It looked very heavy too. In fact, it's so heavy that she was dragging it across the floor along with half the class pushing it from behind.
Edgeworth: After all that happened last time the principal thinks it's a good idea to make Maya teach religion? I honestly don't know what to say...
Maya: Why WOULDN'T he want me to teach religion?
Larry: Yeah, Edgey, she's too good a teacher not to teach religion.
Edgeworth: I want to get out of here as soon as possible, so I won't get into any of the reasons.
Maya: Because you don't have any, do you?
Edgeworth: (Just ignore her.)
Quote:
"Class, today we'll be learning about religion! We'll spend half an hour each on different religions! Since we only have one subject per day for some reason, you'd better pay attention! Now give me five bucks for attention!"
Edgeworth: Wow, hilarious. *rolls eyes*
Larry: *laughs* Oh wow! That's comedy gold! Even my old girlfriend Jessie couldn't come up with jokes like that!
Maya: Yeah, I agree, that's a good one, Ms. Maya!
Edgeworth: *sigh*
Quote:
The children happily paid the five dollars their beloved, psychotic teacher asked them for.
Maya: Hey! What do you mean psychotic?
Edgeworth: Heh...
Maya: Edgeworth, stop laughing! *pouts*
Larry: Yeah Edgey, stop being so rude! *holds up fists*
Edgeworth: (But it was funnier then the paying attention joke!) Am I the only one questioning why these children are actually paying her?
Quote:
"All right, since the paying is all over and done with, we'll start studying now! I spent all that two minutes of my life getting it in here and now, we'll be reading every single page of it!" Maya said.
Maya: But reading is sooooo boring!
Larry: Yeah, just let me appear and make it fun again, author!
Quote:
The children opened their really big and dull bibles to page who-knows-what and started reading the said page.
"NO! What do you think you're doing?!" screamed Maya, her hands outstretched dramatically.
"We're reading the bible, like what you told us to do," answered a little girl whose name is unimportant right now.
"NO! What do you think you're doing?!" screamed Maya, her hands outstretched dramatically.
"We're reading the bible, like what you told us to do," answered a little girl whose name is unimportant right now.
Maya: So what, am I just pointing at these kids now? "There's a contradiction in your bible! It says that the Judge created the universe...but everyone knows that it was made by the three Burgers of Light!"
Larry: What? My old girlfriend Wendy said it was made by a monkey over a week or so, and then he evolved into a snake and told these two Pikachus to eat a pokeblock and-
Edgeworth:
That goes against just about every religion that exists. Stop.Quote:
Maya kept her hand outstretched, "Yeah, but I told you to read this bible. And this one's different from yours!"
"And why's that?"
"Well, for one, it's much bigger! And it's different from your bible! This one's special! This one's more interesting!"
"And why's that?"
"Well, for one, it's much bigger! And it's different from your bible! This one's special! This one's more interesting!"
Edgeworth: *facepalm*
Maya: Ms. Maya, they're the exact same, yours is just bigger!
Larry: Why are you arguing with it? The bigger the better! I learnt that while with my first girlfriend...
Edgeworth: Larry, there's a lady in the room.
Larry: Oh, hehe, sorry Maya...
Maya: ...
Quote:
The children stared at her, confused.
"See, this bible is filled with different stories and in those stories, if notice, have meanings behind them," she explained.
The children nodded their heads and began reading the over-sized bible.
"See, this bible is filled with different stories and in those stories, if notice, have meanings behind them," she explained.
The children nodded their heads and began reading the over-sized bible.
Edgeworth: Actually, why would the children willingly read a bible?
Maya: Because since I'm the teacher, it's more fun!
Quote:
Contents:
The Old Testament
Nick…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….12
Larry……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………26
Edgeworth…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………44
Franziska…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….67
Hamburger…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………72
The New Testament
Hamburgers………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..88
Other People in the AA Series Whose Names I Am Too Lazy To Type....….…………………95-END
The Old Testament
Nick…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….12
Larry……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………26
Edgeworth…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………44
Franziska…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….67
Hamburger…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………72
The New Testament
Hamburgers………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..88
Other People in the AA Series Whose Names I Am Too Lazy To Type....….…………………95-END
Edgeworth: Why exactly is burgers in italics?
Maya: Because burgers!
Edgeworth: *rolls eyes* Of course, anyway, may I ask why exactly Larry has his own chapter, let alone an 18 page one?
Larry: Come on Edgey! Why wouldn't they want to learn about me?
Edgeworth: A couple thousand reasons come to mind...
Quote:
They somehow finished the book in twenty minutes and closed the really heavy bible and pushed it out the door with much difficulty.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Edgeworth: Was that a linebreak?
Maya: No! I bet it was the kids going "Oooooh! I didn't know that!"
Quote:
"For Buddhism, we'll be kneeling down for half an hour and chant words that I do not know the meaning of non-stop! And after that, I'll be lecturing you on Dharma, which are the teachings of Buddha."
The class cheered. What's so great about kneeling to such an extent that your legs become numb and hurt whenever you move it? Oh, wait. Nothing. Nothing at all.
The class cheered. What's so great about kneeling to such an extent that your legs become numb and hurt whenever you move it? Oh, wait. Nothing. Nothing at all.
Edgeworth: I wouldn't touch this part with a mile long stick.
Maya: I wouldn't either...
Larry: Why not? It's true isn't it?
Edgeworth: Larry, please.
Larry: Ohhhhh...because some people believe in it and take offense? Okay, fine.
Edgeworth: Thank you.
Maya gets all the kids to sit down and chant, followed by her reading a story about a mango tree
Edgeworth: At least they skipped that part.
Quote:
"And now, the religion of the Muslim!"
The kids cheered again.
"This religion will be special since we'll have someone telling us about it and I don't have to explain at all! Please welcome, Miss…Um…I think we'll just call her 'Miss' I left my notes about this at the burger joint."
The kids cheered again.
"This religion will be special since we'll have someone telling us about it and I don't have to explain at all! Please welcome, Miss…Um…I think we'll just call her 'Miss' I left my notes about this at the burger joint."
Larry: Huh? What's this about a Miss? I thought I was appearing in this chapter!
Maya: You guys didn't lie to him again, did you?
Speakers: We didn't, trust us!
Edgeworth: Since when is the management trustworthy?
Quote:
The class clapped.
A man with a very long beard came in. "Good morning class," he said.
A man with a very long beard came in. "Good morning class," he said.
Larry: Wait...Ms. Santa Claus?
Maya: Didn't you dress as Santa one time?
Quote:
aya, then, remembered that the spokesperson was a man and not a woman. She gave the class a 'don't-call-him-'miss'-or-else-you-treat-me-to-lunch' look. The class didn't notice her look at all. And that meant that they had to treat her to lunch later on.
"Good morning, Miss!" the class chorused.
The man in front started to tear up. "Why are you calling me 'Miss' when I'm actually a 'Mister'? Now I have to deal with teaching gender-confused children as well as my break-up with *loud truck noise*!"
Maya looked up, "Larry? Is that you? I didn't know that you were Muslim!"
"Good morning, Miss!" the class chorused.
The man in front started to tear up. "Why are you calling me 'Miss' when I'm actually a 'Mister'? Now I have to deal with teaching gender-confused children as well as my break-up with *loud truck noise*!"
Maya looked up, "Larry? Is that you? I didn't know that you were Muslim!"
Maya: Pfft...Hey Ms. Butz, you finally appeared!
Edgeworth: Indeed, aren't you happy, Ms. Butz?
Larry: S-Shut up!
Quote:
"Maya! Nice to see you again! No, I am not. I'm just taking this as a job. I'm losing jobs one by one! Don't tell anyone! What are you doing here; I thought you were supposed to be in the office with Nick!"
Edgeworth: Why is there an exclamation mark at the end there? You don't just yell that in someones face.
Maya: It is Ms. Butz we're talking about here.
Larry: Cut it out!
Quote:
"Hee…Hee…Hee, yeah. I'm taking this job as a part-time job so that I can have more money for burgers!"
Maya: I don't need a part time job for that! I just use Nick's wallet if I want burgers!
Edgeworth: I am a prosecutor you know...
Maya: You have a thief as a partner though!
???: I've never heard about this, his partner's a GREAT thief.
Edgeworth: *sigh*
Quote:
"Okay, enough talk. I'll start teaching them now," Maya nodded as he said this, "Okay, class, if you think you're a boy, then you're a girl and vice versa, understand?"
The children nodded and this was how they really became gender-confused.
The children nodded and this was how they really became gender-confused.
Edgeworth: Where did that come from?
Maya: Yeah, Mr. Maya, what the heck?
Kay: I'm not about to become Mr. Faraday, bye!
Quote:
Larry began teaching the art of Muslim to the kids in front of him.
Edgeworth: The art of Muslim...?
Quote:
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Maya got up from her chair that she was sitting on during Larry's lecture. "Right, she said. Now it's time for the next religion! Guess! I'll give you a hint! The first syllable of the word is: CAT!"
Maya got up from her chair that she was sitting on during Larry's lecture. "Right, she said. Now it's time for the next religion! Guess! I'll give you a hint! The first syllable of the word is: CAT!"
Edgeworth: Why is cat in capitals?
Maya: Cthulhu's big...so are capitals...it must be Cathulhu!
Larry: Like...Cthulhu...but a cat?
Maya: Yeah!
Edgeworth: *opens mouth, closes it again*
Quote:
The children thought, and thought, and thought. About five minutes later, they shouted one word: CAT!
"Er…No, 'Cat' is not a religion. It's an animal that has whiskers and is so loved that people have written a book about it they call 'Warriors'. Catholic is the answer. Here's an interesting fact: if you notice carefully, you can separate the word into two and those are: CAT and HOLIC. And that means people who go crazy over cats! But not all of them! Strange, huh?"
"Er…No, 'Cat' is not a religion. It's an animal that has whiskers and is so loved that people have written a book about it they call 'Warriors'. Catholic is the answer. Here's an interesting fact: if you notice carefully, you can separate the word into two and those are: CAT and HOLIC. And that means people who go crazy over cats! But not all of them! Strange, huh?"
Edgeworth: That is not what the religion is about!
Maya: I thought it was Cathulhu!
Quote:
The children nodded. "What's the difference between Christian and Catholic?" a little girl/boy said. (Yes, she doesn't know which gender she is anymore thanks to Larry, "I mean, they both go to church and all."
"Well, for one, they are spelled differently! And you can't separate 'Christian' into two actual words like 'Catholic'! That answer your question?" The little girl nodded.
"Well, for one, they are spelled differently! And you can't separate 'Christian' into two actual words like 'Catholic'! That answer your question?" The little girl nodded.
Edgeworth: I quit.
Larry: Huh? But this is all true, right?
Edgeworth: ...
Quote:
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
AFTER SCHOOL…
"So, what did you learn today, little one?" the bald principal asked. Something happened with his shaver and he shaved his hair off accidentally and he did not bother to buy a wig because he thinks they are cursed.
The gender-confused kid answered, "Today I learnt that the bible is very interesting and that we shouldn't mistake a boy for a girl and vice versa. Also, Ms. Maya taught us the difference between Christian and Catholic!"
"Good boy."
AFTER SCHOOL…
"So, what did you learn today, little one?" the bald principal asked. Something happened with his shaver and he shaved his hair off accidentally and he did not bother to buy a wig because he thinks they are cursed.
The gender-confused kid answered, "Today I learnt that the bible is very interesting and that we shouldn't mistake a boy for a girl and vice versa. Also, Ms. Maya taught us the difference between Christian and Catholic!"
"Good boy."
Edgeworth: Great, now even the principal is believing this.
Maya: I would make such a good teacher...
Edgeworth: No. Stop thinking about it. You would be fired by now if this was a real school...
[the lights come back on]
Edgeworth: I'm done. Good bye.
Maya: Rude. Don't you agree Ms. Butz?
Larry: Yeah, Ms. Edgey is so mean, Mr. Fey.
[And the two of them leave, talking about Ms- I mean, Mr. Edgeworth]
Thank you to Rubia for editing again! And before anyone says Maya and Larry are OOC, I want everyone to know I purposely made them a bit silly for this fic.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Cause of death is being dummy
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Rank: Prosecutor
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Great Revival
Gender: Male
Location: Location
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Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2015 6:40 am
Posts: 2453
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
On a road to nowhere.
Gender: None specified
Rank: Desk Jockey
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:19 pm
Posts: 51
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11455289/1 ... D-attorney
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Gender: Male
Location: Spain
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:38 pm
Posts: 477
@Rubia: So what fic are you doing? I've kind of lost track.
@Airey: I think there's a way of using the 4G of your phone to connect your computer to the Internet, if you're interested.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Racing through the sky like a Missile
Gender: Female
Location: LA, Japanifornia
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am
Posts: 6180
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Elohim Essaim Elohim Essaim
Gender: Male
Location: San Antonio, TX
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2015 8:37 pm
Posts: 314
*victory fanfare from Final Fantasy plays*
So uh... who wants to edit it?
"I'm in lesbians with you" - Scott Pilgrim
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Racing through the sky like a Missile
Gender: Female
Location: LA, Japanifornia
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:17 am
Posts: 6180
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Elohim Essaim Elohim Essaim
Gender: Male
Location: San Antonio, TX
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2015 8:37 pm
Posts: 314
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Jesus, Moonlit. What did you put in it that it would take 26 pages? Now I'm curious to see it. Well, I've lately been editing sporks left and right, so I don't mind lending a hand with yours. Next time, if your sporking seems to take more than 15 pages, it's probably worth splitting it up into multiple parts.
*nervous laugh* well they were wide ruled pages... but I guess I should have done that. Alright, just give me a while to transpose it onto the interwebs and then send it to you.
"I'm in lesbians with you" - Scott Pilgrim
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Gender: Male
Location: Spain
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Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:38 pm
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Today's fic is Imperfect Wish Oneshot by Franzy Karma.
Rating:
luck wrote:
The fic isn't bad overall, but it has some narm moments that break the serious tone.
Now let's meet today's sporkers, the AAI team:
Franziska von Karma!"Objection! I played a secondary role in that game!"
Miles Edgeworth!"You should be glad that you don't play a starring role in this place.
And Kay Faraday!"For once, I'll use the door."
[We open up in the sporking theatre. The three sporkers are already seated. Jeez, things are going fast today.]
Edgeworth: Is true that we'll have to spork another foreign fic?
Kay: Yep, or that's what the Management told me.
Franziska: Are these fools planning an international expansion?
Kay: Bad fanfiction knows no frontiers!
Edgeworth: There goes my plan of moving abroad to escape this place.
Kay: Hey, narrator, Who's going to translate it?
Speakers: Guess.
Edgeworth: Ms. Cykes? I can't believe the Management lets you be there again.
Speakers: We have a deal. I've translated this fic for them and so I don't have to undergo any punishments for that little incident. That's my lawyering skills for you! Yeah...I wouldn't count on that. What!? But you told me... We know. We lied. Grr! *plaf* Yeowch! You're going to pay for that! Ack! Let me go!
Kay: Hold on, Athena! I'll rescue you!
Speakers: Don't try anything funny, or we'll tell the dog.
Edgeworth: ... (The dog?)
[If someone is still interested...the fic is starting.]
Quote:
Miré el cielo estrellado de aquella madrugada de otoño, los árboles tenían las hojas amarillentas y rojizas. Caminé a lo largo de la avenida de árboles de un parque sin nombre, o sí, de nombre: "Cementerio".
Quote:
I looked at the starry sky of that autumn night, the trees had yellow and red leaves. I walked along the trees avenue of a park without a name, or rather, named 'Cemetery'.
Franziska: What kind of scene-setting is that!?
Edgeworth: Not the best I've seen. Although, to be fair, not the worst, either.
Franziska: If it isn't perfect, I don't want to see it! *whips screen, gets shocked*
Speakers: ...
Edgeworth: You're not even going to warn her?
Speakers: She should have learned by now.
Franziska: *whips speakers, gets shocked*
Edgeworth: *shakes his head*
Kay: You know, I'm worried about Athena. I think I should...
[Kay stays in her seat.]
Kay: ...keep watching the fic.
Speakers: So you can do that, huh? Maybe we shouldn't fix the glitch just yet.
Edgeworth: What glitch? What are you talking about?
Speakers: Don't mind us. Just spork.
Quote:
Llegué a una pequeña tumba, cubierta de musgo húmedo, alguien la había pateado, pues tenía trozos rotos.
Quote:
I got to a little grave covered in wet moss, someone had kicked it, for it had broken pieces.
Edgeworth: What exactly led you to that conclusion? Who would kick a tombstone?
Kay: Maybe it was the super-powered transforming robot murderer from outer space of that one fic.
Edgeworth: Did you really sporked a fic with a robot murderer?
Kay: I'm not sure. We only did one chapter.
Quote:
Cogí el mechero, lo encendí y lo acerqué en la inscripción, que rezaba:
"Aquí yacen los restos mortales de…Miles Edgeworth. El fiscal perfecto que había querido ser abogado."
"Aquí yacen los restos mortales de…Miles Edgeworth. El fiscal perfecto que había querido ser abogado."
Quote:
I held the lighter, lighted it and put it closer to the inscription, that read:
"Here lie the mortal remains of...Miles Edgeworth. The perfect prosecutor that had wanted to be a lawyer."
"Here lie the mortal remains of...Miles Edgeworth. The perfect prosecutor that had wanted to be a lawyer."
Franziska: Why are you smiling, Miles Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: Because I'm not in this fic anymore.
Franziska: You weren't in this fic before!
Edgeworth: And for that, I am thankful.
Kay: I don't think you'd like that epitaph, though.
Edgeworth: Indeed. Too much personal information to be displayed in a public place.
Franziska: You're dead and you're still out of character. These foolish fanfic authors always manage to top their own foolishness.
Quote:
Apagué el mechero y me puse de rodillas, a rogar por su difunta alma. En un arranque de rabia, arranqué el musgo de a tumba. Me maldije a mí misma por lo que acababa de hacer. Abandoné aquel lugar de desolación. Antes de ello, me dirigí a un panteón antiguo, de estilo gótico. Abrí la puerta y me adentré en él. Busqué con la luz del mechero el nombre de una inscripción. A lo largo del pasillo se leían decenas de nombres. "Aldous von Karma, Alfred von Karma, Susan von Karma, Arkan von Karma, Sophia y Anthoine von Karma… Charles von Karma…"
Quote:
I closed the lighter and kneeled down, to pray for his deceased soul. In a fit of rage. I teared off the moss of the grave. I cursed myself for what I had just done. I left that place of bleakness. Before that, I headed to an old mausoleum. I opened the door and entered it. I used the light of the lighter to look for the name of an inscription. Dozens of names could be read along the hallway. "Aldous von Karma, Alfred von Karma, Susan von Karma, Arkan von Karma, Sophia and Anthoine von Karma...Charles von Karma..."
Kay: It looks like you're the one starring this fic, Ms. von Karma.
Franziska: That's an impostor! I don't lose my temper so easily! *whips screen, gets shocked* Yeowch!
Speakers: Oh, the irony.
Edgeworth: Why do the von Karma's have a mausoleum in this cemetery? They're from Germany.
Kay: Maybe this fic takes place in Germany and you died there.
Franziska: There's a corpse repatriation insurance for that kind of thing.
Kay: Then you brought all your ancestors to L.A when you moved here.
Edgeworth: Or maybe the author simply didn't think things through.
Kay: You're no fun!
Quote:
Me quedé parada delante de la urna, pasé mis dedos por los relieves que había, eran dragones, serpientes, demonios…
Mis ojos se nublaron por las lágrimas que, silenciosamente, se desplazaban por mi cara:
Mis ojos se nublaron por las lágrimas que, silenciosamente, se desplazaban por mi cara:
Quote:
I stopped in front of the urn, I passed my fingers through its reliefs, they were dragons, snakes, demons...
My eyes were blurred with the tears that, silently, rolled down my face.
My eyes were blurred with the tears that, silently, rolled down my face.
Kay: Snakes, dragons and demons? Jeez, the von Karmas sure like standing out. Yeowch!
Franziska: Watch what you say, Kay Faraday!
Edgeworth: ...
Franziska: Do you want to add anything, Miles Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: ...No.
Franziska: Good.
Quote:
"Tu hermano…está muerto.", "Encontramos el cuerpo carbonizado en la sala." "Lo lamentamos mucho señores von Karma".
Quote:
"Your brother...is dead.", "We found the body charred in the living room." "We're very sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Von Karma."
Edgeworth: Someone burnt a body in the living room of all places!? This murderer doesn't seem too interested in getting away with their crime.
Kay: I didn't know you had a brother, Ms. von Karma.
Edgeworth: Her father mentioned a granddaughter in my trial. Nnnngh!
Franziska: Don't be foolish, little brother! You lived at my home for a long time! You should know my family!
Speakers: The Management would like to remind all of you that breaking the fourth wall is strictly prohibited, as it is speculating about canon and your knowledge about it. We don't want to break the space-time. And for the record, according to a certain fan-book, Franziska von Karma does have a sister, not a brother.
Franziska: How do you know that!?
Speakers: We have to do the research, or else the dog will get mad at us.
Edgeworth: ...(Who or what is the dog?)
Quote:
Aparté la mirada de la inscripción y la dirigí a la inscripción de arriba: Angelika von Karma.
"¡MAMÁ, CUIDADO CON LA ARMADURA!", "CHASS", "ARGH".
"¡MAMÁ, CUIDADO CON LA ARMADURA!", "CHASS", "ARGH".
Quote:
I looked away from the inscription to see the inscription above it: Angelika von Karma.
"¡MOM, BE CAREFUL WITH THE ARMOR!","CHASS!, "ARGH".
"¡MOM, BE CAREFUL WITH THE ARMOR!","CHASS!, "ARGH".
Edgeworth: And now they kill someone with an armor in front of a witness. This person wants to be prosecuted. I don't see any other explanation.
Kay: Maybe they were accidents.
Edgeworth: How can someone burn themselves to death in a living room?
Kay: I dunno... Lighting the fire in the fireplace went wrong? It happens in The Sims.
Franziska: There's the possibility that the murders were unrelated and all the culprits were found and properly punished.
Quote:
Primero murió mi hermano, después mi madre y ahora Miles Edgeworth. Lo peor de todo era que el hombre que los mató a los tres fue… Manfred von Karma…mi padre…
Quote:
First, my brother died, then my mother and now Miles Edgeworth. Worst of all was that the man who killed the three of them was... Manfred von Karma...my father...
Kay: So much for that.
Edgeworth: If he got away with everything, why do you know it was him? Nnnngh!
Franziska: Don't question my deduction skills!
Edgeworth: (You'd save everyone a lot of trouble if you questioned them yourself more often.)
Quote:
Mi padre odió a mi hermano, porque este no quería saber nada sobre la perfección. A mi madre, porque era, según mi padre, imperfecta. A Miles, porque le disparó en el incidente DL-6, porque su padre había conseguido que penalizaran al mío.
Quote:
My father hated my brother, because he didn't want to hear a word about perfection. He hated my mother, because she was, according to my father, imperfect. He hated Miles, because he shot him in the DL-6 incident, because his father had got mine penalized.
Edgeworth: If Manfred von Karma has killed everyone he doesn't deem perfect, he's probably guilty of genocide.
Kay: And he showed affection for his wife in GK2.
Speakers: The Management would like to remind Kay Faraday that breaking the fourth wall is still strictly prohibited.
Kay: How many times do I have to ignore you before you get that I don't care about your reminders.
Speakers: We have a list with all you wrongdoings, you know.
Kay: I'm terrified.
Quote:
Un día, apareció un hombre vestido de negro y me entregó una carta, en ella se leía que las próximas víctimas de mi padre serían…Phoenix Wright y yo…
Quote:
One day, a man dressed in all black appeared and handed me a letter, it said that my father's next victims would be...Phoenix Wrigh and I.
Edgeworth: And he even warns their victims before the murder. Why isn't he in jail yet?
Kay: Because the author wants to kill off more people.
Quote:
Supe que la carta era una bomba, conseguí neutralizarla antes de que explotara, pero Phoenix Wright no corrió la misma suerte, está en coma.
Quote:
I figured out that the letter was a bomb, I manged to neutralize it before it exploded, but Phoenix Wright wasn't so lucky, he's in a coma.
Edgeworth: How did you figure it out, we'll never know. And I'd like to know, because it's a rather strange method for murder. Nnnngh!
Franziska: No fool can fool me with a foolish bomb in a letter.
Kay: Never trust the man in black, Mr. Edgeworth! Don't you know that? I learned it in first grade.
Edgeworth: (That's what kids learn in school nowadays?)
Kay: Anyways, it seems it's just a coma, after all. I'm kind of disappointed.
Edgeworth: You sometimes scare me, Kay.
Quote:
Ordené detener a mi padre y me di cuenta de que a mí me odiaba por no haber ganado los juicios contra Phoenix Wright y Miles Edgeworth.
Quote:
I ordered my father's arrest and I realized that he hated me for not winning the trials against Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth.
Franziska: Why didn't I order the arrest before!? How stupid is that foolish excuse of a doppelganger!? *whips screen, gets shocked*
Edgeworth: Your trial against me refers to that incident in the Hazakura Temple? How could Manfred von Karma be aware that I played the defense for a day? He was in jail!
Kay: Well, he isn't in jail in this fic. That or the security there isn't very good, if they don't search the prisoner's letters for bombs.
Edgeworth: I don't think that's a standard procedure. The idea of someone hiding a bomb of all things in a letter is pretty far-fetched. Especially if they're in jail.
Quote:
Manfred fue condenado a muerte, lo ejecutaron al día siguiente. No había sido capaz de mantener el orgullo de la familia von Karma.
Quote:
Manfred was sentenced to death, he was executed the next day. He wasn't able to keep the pride of the von Karma family.
Edgeworth: The next day!? That's way too soon for an execution to be scheduled. What about the appeals?
Kay: First they ignore his murders and now they kill him without a second thought. Make up your mind!
Franziska: The Police Force in this fic is so incompetent that they contradict their own incompetence! *whips screen, gets shocked* Yeowch! Stop that!
Speakers: No.
Quote:
Je…perfección, orgullo, ¿en serio existe eso?, desde aquel día supe que la perfección y el orgullo no existen…
Quote:
Heh...perfection, pride, Does that really exist?, ever since that day I knew that perfection and pride don't exist...
Edgeworth: You could argue the existence of perfection, but I don't think you can deny the existence of pride. It's a feeling. It's like denying fear or anger.
Franziska: You can't argue the existence of perfection! Just look at me!
Edgeworth: I'm not getting into this conversation.
Quote:
Abandoné el cementerio y me dirigí al hospital a visitar a Phoenix Wright. Volví a mirar el cielo estrellado otra vez. Una estrella fugaz pasó y le pedí un deseo. Que la perfección no exista...
Quote:
I left the cemetery and headed to the hospital to visit Phoenix Wright. I looked at the starry sky again. A shooting star appeared and I made a wish. That perfection doesn't exist...
Franziska: That's the foolest wish I've ever heard.
Edgeworth: I actually agree. She denied the existence of perfection the previous paragraph, so her wish was already fulfilled before she wished it.
Kay: It's like if I wish to be a Great Thief!
[The lights come back]
Edgeworth: It's over? It was less painful than I expected.
Franziska: Speak for yourself. I can barely move.
Kay: Bye, guys. I'm going to investigate what is the Management planning to do with Athena. *smoke bombs away*
Edgeworth: If you're really that bad, I think a visit to the clinic is in order.
[Edgeworth helps Franziska up and so the sporkers leave. What does this place of doom have in store for the future? The comfy thrones and the window to the world of fiction will be waiting for some brave heroes to come and...]
Speakers: Enough with the purple prose.
[Yes, sir]
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
ZAWA ZAWA
Gender: Female
Location: Bristol, Rhode Island
Rank: Decisive Witness
Joined: Tue May 14, 2013 10:21 pm
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Quote:
Edgeworth: Ms. Cykes? I can't believe the Management lets you be there again.
Should be something more like-
Quote:
Edgeworth: Ms. Cykes? I can't believe that the Management is allowing you to be here again after last time.
But I know that English isn't your first language, so minor errors like that are to be expected. Anyway, I really like the narrator's new power and if the glitch does get fixed, I'm really going to miss him. And I am curious as to who or what this "dog" is. Although, I am mildly saddened that they weren't told that they technically sporked that fic before, but Godot mistranslated it.
Last edited by Skittlemask on Fri Aug 21, 2015 5:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Racing through the sky like a Missile
Gender: Female
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Nice one again, luck. Normally, I would prefer that Franziska doesn't keep whipping the screen and getting herself electrocuted, but in this case, she doesn't have Nick or Gumshoe to whip. The other two aren't as deserving of it either, so I think it's just the right amount of brash frustration on her part.
Edit: I've finally started on sporking Bramimond's crackfic. The intro was a lot easier than expected to write and playing around with Holmes is oh-so fun. Expect to see it published within the next two days, everyone.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Gender: Male
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Posts: 477
Spoiler:
As to proposing fanfics, maybe someone can Spork 
), but it may be fun to spork 
Last edited by luck on Sat Sep 19, 2015 10:35 pm, edited 5 times in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Elohim Essaim Elohim Essaim
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"I'm in lesbians with you" - Scott Pilgrim
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
ZAWA ZAWA
Gender: Female
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luck wrote:
I think an update on the list of recommended fics is in order. I've cleaned the already sporked and the erased ones, because this is getting huge.
So, um, I'm guessing this is a bad time to say that on my search of a fic for Athena's punishment sporking, I've found (or remembered) 19 sporkable fics?
In the meantime, since Athena's punishment sporking may take a while, I'm going to be working on Drunkshoe's Adventure.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Cause of death is being dummy
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@luck: Nice. I don't know why, but it seemed to me like the fic was implying that Phoenix and Franziska were targeting by the same mail bomb, so I found it very funny that Franziska neutralized it and Phoenix ended up in a coma anyway. It wasn't until the end of the spork that I realized that that wasn't what happened. Oh well.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Cause of death is being dummy
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Oh, also, yes, actually, I do own lizards.
Today's sporkers are...
Apollo Justice!
"I thought the pony craze died out years ago!"Maya Fey!
"Oh, chill out, Apollo!"Pearl Fey!
"Fandoms come and go, but ponies are forever."Trucy Wright!
"Woah, I wasn't expecting something so deep from you, Pearly!"[We open up in our sporking theatre, which from the very first glance is clearly... out of whack. Apollo walks in.]
Apollo: .....what the hell is this?
[He is joined by today's other sporkers.]
Trucy: What's what, Polly- oohhh.
Apollo: Where... are our seats? *points at soft jelly things were seats should be*
Maya: I think these are them! *flops onto a jelly, which wobbles a bit* Ooh, bouncy.
Pearl: As long as they don't get my robes all gooey... *moves to take a seat as well, but slips on the floor in front of it, which has either been covered in soap or turned into it* Ouch!
Trucy: Are you okay?
Pearl: Yeah.
Apollo: Seriously, what is this?
Pearl: Maybe we changed theatres again...?
Speakers: Astute observations and a commendable guess, young Miss Pearl Fey, but today's theatre is the same as ever, simply changed to be the way I like it.
[Pink clouds roll in and start raining chocolate milk.]
Apollo: Agh- NOT ALL OVER MY SUIT!
Maya: *tilts head back with mouth open*
Apollo: And why does the Management suddenly sound like that guy from Star Trek?!
Pearl: Oh! The Management must have brought in a crossover guest!
Trucy: What, Discord?
Speakers: Exactly right, Miss Wrrrright! Evidently your usual Management is exploiting some kind of loophole in the rules.
Apollo: The Management have rules?
Speakers: Not while I'm it!
Maya: I guess that explains why Pearly wasn't scolded for breaking the fourth wall.
Apollo: Hmm... a sporking without rules...
Speakers: Well, there are a few rules, actually: have fun and be yourself! *sound similar to fingers snapping*
[There is a puff of brightly-colored smoke exactly where Apollo is
All: .........
Apollo: (That's it. I quit.)
Pearl: He's... he's cute...
Speakers: And now, without further ado... roll fic!
[The lights dim.]
Spoiler:
Trucy: Well, that's the end of chapter eleven. *glances at Apollo*
Apollo: *opens mouth in irritation* (Yeah, a whole chapter gone, and I'm still a lizard! He is planning on turning me back into a human, right? Right?)
Speakers: Oh, don't be like that. Of course I'm planning on turning you back into a human, Apollo... or should I say, Artemis?
Apollo: (What?!)
[There is another puff of brightly-colored smoke by Apollo, and when it clears it is revealed that he's been turned back into a human, alright... a human woman!]
Trucy: Hey, you make a pretty good-looking woman, Polly!
Maya: Yeah, I like your skirt! It looks great on you!
Artemis: Why does he keep picking on me?!
Speakers: Because you're funny.
Pearl: Don't worry, I'm sure Mr. Discord will turn you back into a man at the end of the sporking!
Artemis: He'd better!!
Maya: In the meantime, you need to put on a brave face. It's what girls do!
Artemis: ...........whatever. I'm just glad Prosecutor Gavin isn't here.
Trucy: He'd love to have the photos, though. *takes more pictures on her phone*
Artemis: Trucy, NO!! Give me that!!
Maya: Catfight! Woo!
Pearl: Alright, onto the next chapter...
Spoiler:
Speakers: Alright, alright, whiny. *snap*
[For the third time, Artemis is engulfed in brightly-colored smoke. This time, however, when the smoke clears, she is back to normal.]
Trucy: *claps* I'm not deleting those pictures.
Apollo: ...I'll give you twenty bucks.
Trucy: Deal.
Maya: Maybe I should have taken some pictures, too.
Pearl: Isn't that technically blackmail?
Maya: What's in a name...?
Apollo: Har har har. Listen, you three, what happened here should never leave this theatre.
Speakers: I notice that I wasn't included in that proposition!
Apollo: *gestures around theatre* I really don't think the Management is going to be inviting you back after all of... this!
[Suddenly, the entire theatre returns to normal.]
Speakers: After all of what, Mr. Justice?
Apollo: ....nevermind.
Pearl: So we can go now?
Speakers: Of course, of course, do come back soon, won't you?
Trucy: Okay!
Apollo: I'll try not to.
[And so our sporkers leave, bringing our first true crossover sporking to an end. Will Apollo ever recover from the mental trauma that was inflicted upon him today? And what new sorts of unexpected creepiness will Turnabout Storm throw at us? Seriously. Interspecies romance? Seriously!]
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Racing through the sky like a Missile
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Also, the Dog demands to see those pictures of lizard-pollo and Artemis with 3D glasses... for cataloging purposes.
Now, I suppose the Theater will be seeing further renovation later once the Dog sees through a certain sporking... or should I say, retrospection?
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Elohim Essaim Elohim Essaim
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The name of the fic is "Undeclared Tenant"
Rating:
I gave it one sawhit mainly because it's actually a very well written fic and doesn't have too much wrong with it. Well, in my opinion anyway.Our Sporkers Today Are:
: One Sawhit? Alright! : Careful Wright... You'll provoke them.And
: Well, let's enjoy it while we can![The scene reveals our sporkers to be sitting in their seats; anxious as a slight hint of lemon is in the air, and the Theater is noticably cleaner. Ah yes, one could say it was a wonderful day for spor-]
Edgeworth: Stop. Don't get carried away with the description, Narrator. The words "spork" and "wonderful" will never go in the same sentence.
Maya: But... it's so clean in here!
Phoenix: Maybe it's a sign of how good this fic is?
Edgeworth: I highly doubt it.
Speakers: We're hurt, Edgeworth. We would never do anything to make your trust in us falter.
Maya: The sarcasm is fatal on that one, Mr. Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: *shrugs* It's ok. One day, they'll have their comeuppance.
Phoenix: Why don't we just start?
(The lights dim, and the film begins)
Spoiler: tagged for length
(Lights come on as the screen fades to black)
Edgeworth: *is extremely shocked* I... don't believe it...
Speakers: What happened?
Edgeworth: This fic... was actually very well written. What are you all trying to pull?
Speakers: You should really have more faith in us, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth: (That'll be the day.)
Maya: Nick, I'm hungry!
Phoenix: *sighs* I thought so. Would you like to go get some food with us, Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: ... sure, why not.
[The group then left to get some food. The Theater seemed a bit cleaner, and the little faith, if any, that Edgeworth had for the Theater, rose just a smidge. But that feeling would soon disa- *electricity is heard* Ow! What the?!]
Speakers: Sorry.
"I'm in lesbians with you" - Scott Pilgrim
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Great Revival
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Spoiler: 2-4 spoilers
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Elohim Essaim Elohim Essaim
Gender: Male
Location: San Antonio, TX
Rank: Medium-in-training
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Posts: 314
Spoiler: 3-5 ending
"I'm in lesbians with you" - Scott Pilgrim
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Great Revival
Gender: Male
Location: Location
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TheMoonlitAttorney wrote:
The kidnapping wasn't her fault exactly. I used the Elise case because
Spoiler: 3-5 ending
Ooooooh. Okay. I almost forgot about that part .(somehow)
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Cause of death is being dummy
Gender: Female
Location: Metropolitan Atlanta
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Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:
Also, the Dog demands to see those pictures of lizard-pollo and Artemis with 3D glasses... for cataloging purposes.
(Okay, lizard!Apollo wasn't necessarily a bearded dragon, but that's what I was basing his body language off of.)
@TheMoonlitAttorney: Good, good job! I always approve of picking on Nick. And setting up punishment sporkings...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Avatars are for less anxious people.
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Discord as management is absolutely brilliant. I already have ideas. Terrible, terrible ideas.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Cause of death is being dummy
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Racing through the sky like a Missile
Gender: Female
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Rank: Ace Attorney
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Posts: 6180
Featured fic: The Dank Adventures of DGS People N Shit
Rating:
This is what happens when a fanfic author is sleep-deprived and ironically not smoking anything... and it's at least one of the better ones we've seen in this thread. Note that this fic actually contains no spoilers (aside from one line that is suggestive and thus cut out) and everyone is understandably at least a little OOC.
Cast: Ryu, Susato, Sherlock, Phoenix
Note: Due to in part to new character introductions and mostly to the length of this fic, this will be a long read. Believe me, I have tried to cut it down already, but there's so much good stuff.
---------------------------------------
[Today is a special day indeed. It marks the beginning of a new division of the Sporking Theater, where we have renovated the scene to match the theme of today's featured presentation.]
Speakers: Welcome to the Victorian Vaudeville, new and familiar sporkers alike! This is the classic Management speaking.
Holmes: Well, well... at first glance, it seems the legends are true: the Sporking Theater is quite accommodating. *blows on bubble pipe* ...I can't believe everything they offer is free of charge! Take this endearing miniature pipe designed for the young ones!
Susato: *with buckets of popcorn & sweets* Oh, yes! Have you seen the condiment station? They are giving us free food!
Ryu: *munching* It's pretty good stuff too. You made it seem like this is the worst place ever.
Phoenix: ...The renovations and such are fine. I'm just wondering why I have to be here.
Speakers: You're the gateway and guide for these newcomers. Of course you have to be here.
Phoenix: But you're the Management! That's your job, isn't it?
Speakers: No, our job is simply to keep things on track and adhered to the schedule. Settling in newcomers has always been the duty of you veteran sporkers.
Phoenix: (...I'm pretty sure the "classic" Management never had that rule instated, you hypocrites.)
Speakers: Anyhow! We mustn't keep you all waiting. The featured moving picture has been set, and the viewing room is awaiting its guests.
[Little do they realize, what they face may just be the most meta adventure they have had yet...]
Spoiler:
[And the lights come back on just in the nick of time.]
Ryu: Yes! Thank you!
Phoenix: That was way too close for comfort... (Usually I'd be this unnerved because of the fic, but this time...)
Holmes: ...To be honest, I'm relieved I didn't have to explain any more.
Phoenix, Ryu: Then why even start...?
Susato: At the very least, we're finally done with this session. Shall we get going, everyone?
[And once the four return to the lobby together, they are greeted with another round of friendly chatter.]
Speakers: We hope you enjoyed your stay here at the Victorian Vaudeville... However, all good things must come to an eventual end. Fortunately, you new sporkers may be able to return for another session in the near future...
Susato: W-we have to leave now? Aw...
Ryu: Normally, I'd say "good riddance", but... it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be here.
Phoenix: Huh?
Holmes: My thoughts exactly... and we have you to thank, Mr. Wright.
Phoenix: Huh? Huh?
Holmes: It was you who first introduced us to this place, was it not?
Phoenix: Ah, yeah... but I was worried you all would hate to be here, so I felt responsible for any trouble I might have caused.
Holmes: Far from it! I've seen plenty of excellent writing in my day, especially with Iris staying with me, that watching a program of the less stellar variety ironically comes as a refreshing treat!
Phoenix: Huh... I never thought of it that way, but you have a point.
Ryu: And besides, it's not every day that ancestor and descendant get to meet! It's too bad we didn't get to meet last time I was dragged in here.
Phoenix: Y-yeah, that's true...
Holmes: It is indeed up to the Management to decide when we will return to this theater, but until then, we will be looking forward to that day.
Phoenix: Same here, Mr. Holmes. Thanks for coming, everyone.
Speakers: ...Oh, are you all done? Alright, narrator, do the thing.
[And with a smile on everyone's faces, the guests from another time vanish into thin air and return to their time via the teleporter. Phoenix then takes his leave out the door. For once, he could get used to having that hunk of junk around...]
Speakers: ...That is, until his punishment sporking.
[You're as cold and relentless as ever, sir. And so, the lingering question hangs in the air: will the punishment sporking come next, or another run of our usual strange shenanigans? Tune in to find out!]
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Cause of death is being dummy
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Excellent sporking as always, Rubia! And I was very glad to see the Holmes/drugs jokes, being a fan of the ACD canon first and foremost...
And I love, love the idea of the Victorian Vaudeville. Too bad it's almost starting to look like I won't ever have anything to do with it So was that comic about Susato flipping Ryu was actually canon?
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Racing through the sky like a Missile
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Susato flipping Ryu as a running gag is canon, as well as super-fan Susato. I don't know how she'd manage to fling him out of a building, though.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
The Enigma
Gender: Female
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Posts: 1643
I'll just stick to writing my serious original stories heh.A couple questions. I don't know much about the DGS people because I haven't played the game, but Holmes seemed rather...eccentric? Or too eccentric. Is he supposed to be like that? I guess I'm just used to Doyle's Holmes
I've heard rumors… Bramimond, one of the eight legends, devoted himself entirely to the dark. All emotion, all memory… dissolved in a river of dark. That is how he received the power to best dragons
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Racing through the sky like a Missile
Gender: Female
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Rank: Ace Attorney
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Posts: 6180
...It's okay, Airey. You can come out of the non-Japanese-speaking corner. I haven't read Brothers Karamazov yet, but that crossover sounds splendid.
The home of the Gyakuten Saiban vs Ace Attorney blog: http://gyakutengagotoku.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
1/3/19 edit: The project has officially been moved to a new blog at https://gsvsaa.blogspot.com/ Further updates will be pending.
AA fanfiction archive: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369
Yakuza/RGG fanfiction archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia ... /rubia_ryu
My misc translation and work promos here at http://rubiaryutheroyal.tumblr.com
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Cause of death is being dummy
Gender: Female
Location: Metropolitan Atlanta
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Great Revival
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Location: Location
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Posts: 2453
Also they really did break the fourth wall there...how did they know I was reading?!
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Avatars are for less anxious people.
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Posts: 171
On an unrelated note, Hellspawn is complete at 55 chapters. I also think the author added the "Underage" tag onto the story, but that may have been there before. Good luck, Rubia.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Gender: Male
Location: Spain
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Posts: 477
TheMoonlitAttorney wrote:
For that one about Oldbag giving sex advice, you're talking about Sex 101: How to do It Wendy Oldbag Style, right? Because if you are, then I call dibs on that one. It's exactly the fic I was going to have to look for.
I've just found out that it's actually a different fic, so...yeah, the kink meme is still a crazy place.
Skittlemask wrote:
So, um, I'm guessing this is a bad time to say that on my search of a fic for Athena's punishment sporking, I've found (or remembered) 19 sporkable fics?
If you want to share them, I'll add them to the list. We must make sure that no fic goes unsporked.
@Rubia: Glad you liked the dog joke XD.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Great Revival
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Location: Location
Rank: Ace Attorney
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Our Sporkers today are...
It's me, Ms. Mighty Mystic Maya!H-Hey! We're supposed to introduce you!
Miles EdgeworthWhat are we going to learn today? *rolls eyes*
Phoenix Wright...Okay, back to a fic for kids which doesn't have all the characters stoned...good.
Edgeworth: Excuse me? All the characters?
Phoenix: ...And one was my ancestor.
Edgeworth: ....
Maya: Wait...so you were in at the same time as your ancestor?
Edgeworth: Well I was here a little while ago and there were two Kays...
Maya: Huh.
Speakers: LOL! J00 d00ds are so funny down there!
Edgeworth: H-Him?!
Maya: Oh, it's Sal Manella! I still love the Steel Samurai!
Speakers: Oh l00k, it's 2 fans of teh St33l S4murai!
Phoenix: Two...?
Edgeworth: I have no idea what you're talking about *sweats*
Speakers: ROFL, K
[The lights dim]
Quote:
"Kids! Come here and get your PSPs!" Maya shouted in front of the class.
Speakers: The DS is better! XD
Phoenix: Do I want to know where she got the money?
Maya: Probably not.
Edgeworth: From what she told me last time, I doubt you want to know, Wright.
Quote:
"Yay! But, where did you find all the money to buy all this?" a little…Student asked. Hey, no one there can tell if they are girls or boys anymore, so why must I, right?
Maya turned to face the...Um…Student. "Can you guess?"
Maya turned to face the...Um…Student. "Can you guess?"
Phoenix: Heh, I doubt it, Maya's too unpredictable.
Maya: Was that...an insult?
Phoenix: *smirks*
Edgeworth: What's this about an "Um...Student"? Is this about the whole gender confused thing?
Quote:
The children started taking turns to guess where she got all the money to buy all the PSPs.
"The school provided it!" child number one said. Maya shook her head.
"The school provided it!" child number one said. Maya shook her head.
Edgeworth: That would be too normal.
Speakers: LOOOOOOL! It's more normal than we4ring a bib tho. :P
Edgeworth: It's a cravat! *glares at speakers*
Phoenix: This joke got old a while ago... *barely holds laughter*
Edgeworth: *glare*
Quote:
"You bought it?" child number two asked. Maya shook her head again.
"Where do you think I'll get the money to buy all this and if I was that rich, I wouldn't be here teaching you," Maya replied.
"Where do you think I'll get the money to buy all this and if I was that rich, I wouldn't be here teaching you," Maya replied.
Phoenix: Why do I feel like this may be quite realistic?
Edgeworth: Our teacher in grade 4 may have been cruel, but not all teachers are like that.
Quote:
"Um…You pretended to be one of those beggars on the street and begged for money and you nearly got caught by the police because of it?" child number three said. Maya paused for a moment.
"You know, that's not a bad idea, I'll try that next time, but no," said Maya.
"You know, that's not a bad idea, I'll try that next time, but no," said Maya.
Phoenix and Edgeworth: *look at Maya*
Maya: I wouldn't do that!
Phoenix and Edgeworth: ...
Quote:
"Ooh! I know! You and Mr. Larry (1) robbed a bank! There's where you got the money from!" said child number four.
"Another good idea, but no. You know, kids, you should start a business on giving adults ways to get money! Most of your ideas are brilliant!" Maya exclaimed.
"Another good idea, but no. You know, kids, you should start a business on giving adults ways to get money! Most of your ideas are brilliant!" Maya exclaimed.
Speakers: That (1) means tht Larry thought being a teacher wuz fun and started working there. XD
Edgeworth: Lord help this school...
Maya: Heh, those are pretty good ideas! Nick, write them down!
Edgeworth: I'm a prosecutor you know.
Maya: Don't worry, I'll give you a split of the cash!
Edgeworth and Phoenix: ...
Quote:
The kids cheered and continued on their guesses.
A child gasped and said, "Don't tell me you borrowed money from evil loan sharks take your life if you can't pay them back the money you borrow plus interest!"
A child gasped and said, "Don't tell me you borrowed money from evil loan sharks take your life if you can't pay them back the money you borrow plus interest!"
Phoenix: Beware of tigers, Maya.
Maya: I will, Nick.
Edgeworth: Hmm?
Quote:
The room became tense. All the students were worried that their teacher could be in some sort of trouble and then Maya said, "I can't borrow money from them. In fact, I can't go within one hundred feet from them. No matter which group of loan sharks. They issued a restraining order against me when I was trying to get them to buy me and Nick hamburgers...Pity."
Edgeworth: W-What?
Phoenix: You were trying to get me burgers from them?! *gulp*
Maya: Darn...That was supposed to be a secret. But I didn't ask for them to buy you any burgers.
Phoenix: Wait, no, let me say this instead, you were trying to get money from loan sharks....for burgers?
Maya: Is it really that big of a deal? *smiles*
Phoenix: *stares*
Quote:
The children relaxed and was stopped from guessing any further by Maya's threat of bringing them to the dentist.
"You know, I think that's enough guessing for now, unless you want to see the dentist. I shouldn't have asked you to guess, but even though it wasted a whole lot of my time, I'm glad I did. I've just found ways to earn more money!" Maya said.
"You know, I think that's enough guessing for now, unless you want to see the dentist. I shouldn't have asked you to guess, but even though it wasted a whole lot of my time, I'm glad I did. I've just found ways to earn more money!" Maya said.
Edgeworth: If they're so scared of the dentist, why would they relax after being threatened?
Phoenix: Maya's teaching messed their up words?
Edgeworth: You messed that up on purpose, didn't you, Wright?
Quote:
"So, are you going to tell us now?" the children chorused yet again.
Maya: Chorused? Did I teach them to sing? See! I AM a good teacher!
Phoenix: I'm imagining them singing, "So, what are you going to tell us now, huh?" it's actually a bit amusing...
Maya: Haha, you're right, Nick.
Edgeworth: *sighs* Why is it you both keep getting sillier as this goes on? Especially you, Wright.
Maya: Or maybe you're getting more and more boring. *sticks out tongue*
Phoenix: That was mean, Maya.
Maya: Sorry.
Quote:
"Sure! First I asked Detective Gumshoe, but he had a lame excuse for not being able to pay his own bills, wages and loans. What a terrible friend! Then I bugged him to a point where he finally told me to ask Prosecutor Edgeworth because he's so rich he has a shiny red sports car. And then I paid Edgeworth a trip! He wouldn't give me the money so I had to get Franziska to come and whip him until he does. She did so and that was how I got all the money! And Franziska received a quarter of his fortune too! It was a win-win situation for us and Nick because he wouldn't need to pay for this but not for Edgeworth! This was payback for not paying for my burgers!"
All: Huh?
Edgeworth: I doubt Franziska would help with this, and why didn't you just take Wright's wallet like you apparently usually do?
Phoenix: My wallet?
Maya: H-He's lying!
Edgeworth: No, I'm not. And I also doubt Gumshoe would tell you to bug me...
Quote:
The children nodded their heads and made a mental note to themselves to ask a Miss Franziska to help them persuade people to do stuff.
Phoenix: Ah yes, let's go ask Ms. von Karma! "Can you whip my dad? He's a big meany!"
Maya: Yeah, he's not giving us burgers!
Phoenix: ...Not everyone wants burgers you know.
Quote:
"So now that that's all clear, pick up your PSPs like this, insert the game in here, press these buttons like so and spin the joystick thingy until it falls off."
Speakers: WTF?! That strategy wouldn't work ever! >:(
Maya: So you've tried it before?
Speakers: W-WAT?! NO!
Phoenix: Is his sweat dripping from the speakers...?
Edgeworth: I...think it might.
Quote:
The children did as they were told and managed to get really high scores on their games.
Speakers: I bet they're playing SF
Phoenix: Hey, I was in a game styled after that, stop that!
Management: Yo, stop breaking the fourth wall, okay dawg?
All: What?
Quote:
"Congratulations! You all get As except for Bob because no one likes you. Now we'll be learning about the different types of games. There are RPGs which are Role-Playing Games and in those games, you play as a character in a storyline. Here is an example of an RPG!" she said, handing them a DS each and a little box.
Maya: But Bob's awesome!
Edgeworth: Who's Bob?
Maya: The Amazing Bob: Fighter of Evil! He's super strong, fast and can fly! As long as there's evil, there will be Bob!
Edgeworth: You have quite the imagination.
Maya: *shakes head* But he's real.
Quote:
"These are DSes! Where did you get the money to buy all these gaming consoles and *gasp* is that you on this box?" a student asked.
Edgeworth: ...
Phoenix: *smirks* You okay, Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: *glare*
Management: Before you dudes say nothing, you can't break the fourth wall, 'kay bros?
Quote:
"The money was provided by Edgeworth and yes, I'm on the box. This game was made after Nick's first year as a defense attorney! And I'm in it! But the sad thing is that you play as Nick. Ah well, never mind. So, your homework is to complete the first case."
Phoenix: Why are you handing a game about murders to children?!
Maya: They have to learn eventually...?
Quote:
The children wrote it down in their to-do lists.
"Next, I'll be teaching you about shooters. Shooters are games which require you to shoot stuff. I know what you're thinking, 'why do we have shooting games when we already have guns?' well, you see, in shooting games, you kill virtual people, whereas in real life, you kill real people! And besides, all of you are underage so you can't own a gun. Actually, you can, but you will be sent to prison soon afterwards. So, shooters are games where you shoot virtual people without going to virtual jails."
"Next, I'll be teaching you about shooters. Shooters are games which require you to shoot stuff. I know what you're thinking, 'why do we have shooting games when we already have guns?' well, you see, in shooting games, you kill virtual people, whereas in real life, you kill real people! And besides, all of you are underage so you can't own a gun. Actually, you can, but you will be sent to prison soon afterwards. So, shooters are games where you shoot virtual people without going to virtual jails."
Edgeworth: Okay, why would she be teaching little children about shooting games? I'm not very informed about the subject, but if a game has killing, especially with guns, it's M, and that means it can't be played in a school.
Maya: Bob stopped that rule, for JUSTICE!
Phoenix: B-Bob? Justice? (Does she mean him?)
Quote:
The children, besides Bob, cheered again and noted all the things Maya explained down and ran out the door as it was already time to go home.
Phoenix: Wow Maya, you're so slow if it took a whole day to start your lesson. *smirks*
Maya: That's mean, Nick!
Phoenix: I'm just joking.
Quote:
AFTER SCHOOL…
"So, what have you learnt in Video Games class?" the bald principal asked.
"I learnt that Ms. Maya hates me and we also learnt about RPGs and Shooters and that if you spin the joystick thingy of a PSP so hard, it'll fall off and you'll get a high score! I'm going to try it in an arcade soon!" Bob said.
He did so and was sent to jail for vandalizing arcade property, but the good news was that he got the highest score!
Everyone celebrated his leaving of the class and soon forgotten about him.
"So, what have you learnt in Video Games class?" the bald principal asked.
"I learnt that Ms. Maya hates me and we also learnt about RPGs and Shooters and that if you spin the joystick thingy of a PSP so hard, it'll fall off and you'll get a high score! I'm going to try it in an arcade soon!" Bob said.
He did so and was sent to jail for vandalizing arcade property, but the good news was that he got the highest score!
Everyone celebrated his leaving of the class and soon forgotten about him.
Edgeworth: Oh great, now an innocent child's in prison because of you.
Maya: NOOOOO! Bob...why?
Phoenix: It's not real, Maya.
Edgeworth: Also, why was it apparently worth mentioning the principal is bald?
Phoenix and Maya: *shrugs*
Phoenix: Because he's BOLD enough to stay at this school?
*crickets*
[Phoenix Wrights joke was so bad that the cameras and microphones shut down, thank you for sitting through today's "Sporking Classroom"]
I might stop sporking this now, after this it gets a bit stale with the same "Maya is silly, she teaches kids silly things" formula. I hope you guys enjoyed the first 4 chapters though!
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Great Revival
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Posts: 2453
This one is foreign https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11472550/1 ... face-Royal
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11470795/1 ... ut-Justice This is a fic where Apollo is put on trial. And they already ruined everything by saying "Apollo has been framed" in the description.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11242940/1/My-Sister This is a fic where, apparently, Ted Tonate has an OC sister who will get him out of prison...
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11185690/1 ... gotten-One Oh look, an OC who supposedly worked at Fey and Co. Law Offices when Mia died.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11453433/1/CykesFiction I don't even...I might spork this one.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Avatars are for less anxious people.
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Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Cause of death is being dummy
Gender: Female
Location: Metropolitan Atlanta
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 12:23 pm
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It's called Miles Edgeworth's Investigations: Royal Turnabout and the summary says, "A recently reunified country is now threatening to split. It's up to prosecutor Miles Edgeworth to stop a new civil war. For this, the investigation must progress quickly and efficiently, but time is so short and the investigation so complex and unpredictable, even for the brilliant prosecutor."
Honestly, that sounds pretty good. Although it is interesting that they're calling him Miles Edgeworth instead of Benjamin Hunter, his localized name in France. (That Gavincest(?) French fic a while back did the same thing, actually, with Klavier being called Klavier instead of Konrad.)
By this time tomorrow, plus an hour, I'll have examples of my translation work up on one of my Tumblrs, so I'll link them here and then if anyone wants the translation of this fic, I might go for it...
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
ZAWA ZAWA
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Posts: 173
luck wrote:
Skittlemask wrote:
So, um, I'm guessing this is a bad time to say that on my search of a fic for Athena's punishment sporking, I've found (or remembered) 19 sporkable fics?
If you want to share them, I'll add them to the list. We must make sure that no fic goes unsporked.
Alright. I only remember 12 out of the 19 right now. Whoops.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10249877/1/A-Mother-To-Remember(badly written, character's emotions are weird)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9965807/1/March-25-2020 (Simon's portrayal is weird)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10680327/1/The-Omega-Project (plain OC. Edgeworth's "sister" is murdered)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4002536/1/Coffee-and-Spinach (it's about Tigre and Viola. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a crackfic or not)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6414789/1/Alison-Carver-Ace-Attorney (boring OC, abandoned after one chapter)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5851821/1/Marvin-Grossberg-Turnabout-Lions (Lion King xover with Grossberg)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9678784/1/True-Confessions (Grossberg/Edgeworth. Crack-fic.)
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4177803/chapters/9433026 (haven't even read it, but the summary is- "Miles Edgeworth reunites with Paul the billionaire cravat in Vegetable Attraction Therapy while Carrot Sativus-Edgeworth, Miles' wife, struggles to raise their ten kids and Miles' constant adultery. (Done for the PW Kink Meme, Not really smut, Miles x Paul)"
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7212004/1/Scientifically-Very-Freaky (body-switch. Klema)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7167761/1/Fun-at-the-Wright-Estate and https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7878845/1/Court-Room-Drama (both written by the same person. They sure are… doozies, and obvious troll fics)
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4589046 (Maya gets a glitter gun)
Last edited by Skittlemask on Thu Aug 27, 2015 7:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!
Avatars are for less anxious people.
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Posts: 171
Also, 1000 posts!
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