Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 4:29 am

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:It took me almost a whole hour, wow. (dA for fullview)
...I think I've posted more fanart in this thread than in the thread I actually made for my fanart.

That is officially the best thing I've ever seen.

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 4:31 am

Airey, you are the greatest contributor to this thread in a loooong time. This will go down the annals of history...

I'm crying in the corner now.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 4:34 am

WhatTheWhat · Post by **WhatTheWhat** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 6:22 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:It took me almost a whole hour, wow. (dA for fullview)
...I think I've posted more fanart in this thread than in the thread I actually made for my fanart.

I called you the Queen of Sporks for a reason Airey. You're the best contributor to this thread.

(If I could draw I would draw a literal Queen of Sporks.)

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 8:16 pm

Man, I love this thread. It's always a great place to be when you're feeling down.

On that note, why can't Halloween come any faster?!

Bramimond · Post by **Bramimond** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 11:37 pm

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:I feel kind of sorry for anyone going through my scraps on deviantART.

Yus! Thanks, Airey! I'll use this soon. I'm gonna stick with Kanna for a little bit longer

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:It took me almost a whole hour, wow. (dA for fullview)
...I think I've posted more fanart in this thread than in the thread I actually made for my fanart.

...Here. Just take all my Internets. You win them.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 11:42 pm

Bramimond wrote:
AireyVerkhovensky wrote:It took me almost a whole hour, wow. (dA for fullview)
...I think I've posted more fanart in this thread than in the thread I actually made for my fanart.
...Here. Just take all my Internets. You win them.

I just wanted to post this.

WhatTheWhat · Post by **WhatTheWhat** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 1:37 am

Has this one been taken?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2696794/1/ ... Punishment

It's...pretty bad... (in grammar terms)

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 1:41 am

No, it's not taken.

I was gonna comment about the spoilers warning, but then I noticed it was published in 2005. Dang! This fic is old! Children born after this fic was published are old enough to read it!

WhatTheWhat · Post by **WhatTheWhat** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 1:53 am

(Sorry for not mentioning this before but....I'm doing this one)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3458995/1/ ... Y-IN-COURT

Obvious self insertion OOC and Mary-Sueism.

*evil cackle* Punishment fic, FTW!

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 1:55 am

WhatTheWhat wrote:(Sorry for not mentioning this before but....I'm doing this one)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3458995/1/ ... Y-IN-COURT

Obvious self insertion OOC and Mary-Sueism.

*evil cackle* Punishment fic, FTW!

It was resporked just a little while ago, I believe.
Make sure you check whether the fic has been sporked before doing it.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 1:55 am

Edit: ^^^^^

It's been done.

Twice.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:03 am

What page was the respork on?

I think I actually forgot to read it.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:05 am

Not my best work, but here you go.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:06 am

Thanks!

WhatTheWhat · Post by **WhatTheWhat** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:13 am

Darn it. I got really hype too!

I guess I'll do the first one. I have a supriseeee!

Edit: Is there any way to copy from Fanfiction.net?

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:14 am

WhatTheWhat wrote:Darn it. I got really hype too!

I guess I'll do the first one. I have a supriseeee!

The first what...?

Reply to your edit: Yes, but you need to edit some code.
It's pretty easy, actually, just search it up.

WhatTheWhat · Post by **WhatTheWhat** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:21 am

Oliver wrote:
WhatTheWhat wrote:Darn it. I got really hype too!

I guess I'll do the first one. I have a supriseeee!
The first what...?

Reply to your edit: Yes, but you need to edit some code.
It's pretty easy, actually, just search it up.

I kinda write/spoke on my tablet. It's portable and easy for me so...

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:22 am

WhatTheWhat wrote:
Oliver wrote:
WhatTheWhat wrote:Darn it. I got really hype too!

I guess I'll do the first one. I have a supriseeee!
The first what...?

Reply to your edit: Yes, but you need to edit some code.
It's pretty easy, actually, just search it up.
I kinda write/spoke on my tablet. It's portable and easy for me so...

Then you'll have to type the quotes on your own, sorry.
And again, the first what?

WhatTheWhat · Post by **WhatTheWhat** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:27 am

@Oliver The first link. I'm going to try to work n something for everyone who really contributes to this thread. I'll also go and incorporate costumes into this just for Halloween.

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:28 am

@Whatthewhat Get a browser app to disable javascript handlers. They should be free. I'm sure there's one available for mobile as well.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:29 am

I've still got no idea what you mean...
Costumes? Something for the people who contribute to this thread...?

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:30 am

WhatTheWhat wrote:@Oliver The first link. I'm going to try to work n something for everyone who really contributes to this thread. I'll also go and incorporate costumes into this just for Halloween.

Yo, can you message me what costumes you're planning on using so we can coordinate? I already wrote a sporking for publication on Halloween, and there are costumes. I don't wanna spoil the surprise for anyone, though.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:36 am

Why do I have a feeling that the Halloween Sporking will be the best one yet? XD

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:39 am

It feels so relaxing to kick back and not have to keep a sporking waiting. I'm expecting a treat, guys, and I won't go easy just because they're in costume. >:P

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:40 am

Gee, now I'm nervous.

...actually I do think it's been my best sporking in a while. I had fun with it.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:41 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:It feels so relaxing to kick back and not have to keep a sporking waiting. I'm expecting a treat, guys, and I won't go easy just because they're in costume. >:P

Okay. *throws treat*

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:Gee, now I'm nervous.

...actually I do think it's been my best sporking in a while. I had fun with it.

Well, now I can't wait to read it!

WhatTheWhat · Post by **WhatTheWhat** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 4:30 am

[Double Post]

WhatTheWhat · Post by **WhatTheWhat** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 4:30 am

Here have a (fail) spork. while I go make a real one.(Dont worry the real ones better)
. I feel like the "sporking" I did was to brainstorm. I think on, like Halloween is when Ill post it. (And yes Im incorporating you guys into it itll turn out BETTER I swear!) Oh yeah and is the list still relevant?

Time to sleep. (I have so much things to do.)

I give this

Just for grammar, because otherwise this is an alright fic.

???:Hello. and welcome to today's sporking! Today we have a Halloween special so todays sporkers shall be in costumes!

Say hello to:
Apollo Justice!: (Well this is going to be great. Thanks Gavin.)

Klavier Gavin: Achtung baby! Lets do this!

Ema Skye: *MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH-

Lets get started!

Today's sporkers are all sitting down conversing as they wait for the sporking to start.

Apollo: Hello Ema. Hello Prosecutor Gavin.

Klavier: Hello Herr Forehead, and Fräulien Skye. Have you heard about today's event?

Apollo: What do you mean?

Ema: Apparently the heads of management are directly running today's sporking, live. Usually we can't see their identity. But they're under code names and have specially made disguises just for today.

Apollo: Why isn't anyone else here, if they're so important.

Klavier: Being around them is a living Hell. Anyway, guess what I'm supposed to be?

Apollo: Uh...yourself?

Ema: An extra glimmerous fop?

Klavier: Apollo got it correct! I'm me, because I'm already fabulous enough to be a costume on my own.

Ema: That's enough from you. I'm a forensic scientist. I brought luminol for the extra effect.

Apollo: Don't you always carry that around with you?

Ema: I have other things too. Like that thing I used to poison the fop.

Apollo: P-poison?

Klavier: She gave me food poisoning-like symptoms for a week.

Apollo: (And now Ema scares me more than she has before.)

Ema: Did you dress up at all Apollo? You look exactly the same.

Klavier: Have you put in no effort into your costume Herr Forehead? Shame on you.

Apollo: (Hypocrites!) *rubs back of head sheepishly*
I actually didn't know that we were supposed to dress up. I told them I was a lawyer when they asked.

???: Pathetic, all of you!

All: ...Huh?

Someone turns a smoke machine on and two figures appear.

Figure 1: *Deep ominous voice* I am the president of Sporking Corp.

Figure 2: *Fail ominous voice* And I am the CE-OOOOOOO! *crash*

Figure 1: *normal voice* Damn it Rubia, You had one job!

Rubia?: *normal voice* You were supposed to carry me correctly, Oliver! I almost broke my paw!

The fog clears and a boy and a small dog emerge.

Oliver: Welcome! We run the *MUNCH* sporking theatre so you guys can *MUNCH* read horrible fanfic for our entertainment.

After staring for 2 minutes, Klavier started to giggle. And everyone else follows in gut-busting laughter

Klavier: S-So you're telling us this whole thing, i-is run by a boy and a tiny dog!?

Oliver: Up-yours Gavin, Up yours.

Rubia: Oliver, shock them.

The sporkers get hit with a sudden burst of electricity.

Ema: Was that necessary? It wasn't my fault, it was the fop's, shock him!

Rubia: Today, you will be complying with our rules. Each time we have to shock you, is the amount of Dahlia rated fics you'll have to read.

Everyone goes quiet, and the lights dim

Oliver: Great, lets begin!

His silent Punishment, a phoenix wright: ace attorney fanfic

His Silent punishment

It was that dream again. The shot and then the bloodcurdling scream of him, the person I killed. Father.

Apollo: A good first person view fic is rare.

Rubia: It wouldn't be here if it was good, would it?

I woke up screaming in a cold sweat and looked around my apartment. After a shock like that, its hard for anyone to go back to sleep. It's haunted me for 15 years. The memory of DL-6, the unsolved murder of my father, Gregory Edgeworth. It was almost time for the case to be closed. DL-6 would be closed tomorrow night as unsolved, but I wasn't going to let it. I know who did it. I know who killed him. I did it.

Ema: No Mister Edgeworth, you didn't do it! You wouldn't do such a thing!

Apollo: (She actually becomes NICE when hes brought up.)

Oliver: Your crush on his is painfully obvious.

Ema: *glares* I hope you die by autoerotic asphyxiation you-*BZZZZZT*

Rubia: That's a punishment fic for you.

Now it's come back to haunt me. That's why I became a prosecutor. I'm punishing myself for the murder that was never solved because I did it. They blamed a man named Yanni Yogi for it, even my father blamed him.

Klavier: How could he blame Yanni when he's dead?

Rubia: Badfic logic Klavier.

But he didn't do. I did it. He went crazy and I threw the pistol and it fired. It killed Father. Phoniex says he's sure I didn't do it because I'm not that kind of person. He can't prove it. He can't prove the murderer was anyone.

Apollo: I thought Mr. Wright's name was Phoenix.

Ema: It is, they just spelled it wrong.

Klavier: Anyone else notice the cut off sentences?

All: Yeah.

Oliver: So Edgeworth isn't anyone? I mean, I know Von Karma is cold, but that doesn't mean he isn't
a human.

Apollo: Why do you get to lean on the fourth wall?

Rubia: We pay the rent.

Only one person knows the truth and that's me. Brrring brrring It's probably Phoniex calling to check up on me. Tomorrow everyone will find out the truth.
"Hey Edgey, how are you?" "I had that dream again." "I know you couldn't kill anyone. You are innocent and I'll prove it to you no matter what." "Stop it. We both know it did it. Your just in denial that's all. Just accept the truth." "I did. And there's no way to prove your guilty. You told me. To prove everything. And That is what I'm going to do." "Phoniex..." "You just have to trust me Miles."

Ema: This chunk of conversation is confusing.

Klavier: Even WTW didn't want to separate them.

Oliver: *grabs megaphone* THE MANAGEMENT DEMANDS YOU STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

Sporkers: Sorry...

In Court that day...

The judge just declared me not guilty of Hammond's murder. Now's my chance. I have to be punished for it. "OBJECTION!" I yelled it. I stopped the world in there. "I'm confessing to the murder of Gregory Edgeworth in DL-6." The judge calls for a recess so I go out only to see phoniex working.

Ema: No! C'mon Mister Edgeworth, see the real trurh!

Klavier: It's a fanfiction Ema.

"What are you doing?" "I'm getting our case together." "Why? You know I'm guilty." "No your not. I want to talk to you privately." I follow him into a bathroom when he looks at me, "Miles, You didn't kill your father. Your not a murderer." "As I said Prove it." Don't you remember law school and the one night stand? I learned then that you would never be capable of Murder.

Apollo: Wait, One night stand?

Ema: I'll have to ask Mister Edgeworth about this

Rubia: You guys have to read things like this all the time?

Apollo: Yeah

Klavier: Ja.

Ema: Yep.

Oliver: We'll be sure to schedule more.

You couldn't hurt a fly." "But..." "No, I'll show you. Just trust me." And with that he walked out back to the courtroom. I followed him back into Court. As I testified Phoniex kept pointing out flaws in it that didn't match with the Evidence. Maybe He's right. But if I didn't do it, and Yanni didn't do it, who did? "I know who did it your honor!" That was Phoniex. Who is he talking about? "Von Karma! There's a bullet in your shoulder from the bullet that fired when he threw the gun! You seized the moment and killed Gregory edgeworth while they all were unconscious! And the reason they couldn't find the second bullet at the scene because its still lodged in your shoulder!"

Apollo: Apparently he needed no evidence for thos assumption.

Klavier: No fair! Not even I can do that!

As phoniex tells his thoughts on why there's a bullet in Von Karma's shoulder, He screams. That scream! I know it! It's the scream from my Dream! "That scream! It's the one from my dream!" "Yes, the scream you heard was Von Karma. And Von karma killed your father!" He figured it out and Karma confessed. I see why he told me to trust him. He's truly an ace attorney.

Apollo: Somethings up.

Ema: ...This was short. There's a catch, right?

Rubia: Of course. That will be shown later. For now, toodles. We'll see you rather soon!

Oliver picks up Rubia and they blast off into the roof. Soon after the lights turn on.

Klavier: They're planning something dangerous. This was a decoy.

Apollo: Be cautious guys. We don't know what they're planning. I have a feeling that they have a superior.

The sporkers leave the theatre quietly, and they wonder what exactly happened today.

Meanwhile:
Rubia: Ma'am our mission is complete.

Oliver: They're clueless on what we have prepared.

???: Good, good. Let's just see how they can handle the Queen of Sporks.

~

Congrats! Have a Ron
~

Are there any bad Halloween fics? The only hint Im giving is that alot of cast members will be there
SLEEEEEEEP.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 4:34 am

Hey. I'm totally OOC!
I'd not say up yours, I'd be all "You're damn right you rootin' tootin' mudda fuckin' rockstar crappin' **** ***** ***** **** **** *** *****"
Also, if this were a fail... Then why post it?

WhatTheWhat · Post by **WhatTheWhat** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 4:38 am

Oliver wrote:Hey. I'm totally OOC!
I'd not say up yours, I'd be all "Your damn right you rootin' tootin' mudda fuckin' rockstar crappin' **** ***** ***** **** **** *** *****"
Also, if this were a fail... Then why post it?

I wanna see my growth. Im so tired atm, idc. Ill just wake up with a spork in my bed and Charley on the chandelier.

I know you'd say that. I dont really like cursing unless I'm really upset so I auto censored your potty mouth. Sowwy.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 4:39 am

WhatTheWhat wrote:
Oliver wrote:Hey. I'm totally OOC!
I'd not say up yours, I'd be all "Your damn right you rootin' tootin' mudda fuckin' rockstar crappin' **** ***** ***** **** **** *** *****"
Also, if this were a fail... Then why post it?
I wanna see my growth. Im so tired atm, idc. Ill just wake up with a spork in my bed and Charley on the chandelier.

I know you'd say that. I dont really like cursing unless I'm rrally upset so I auto censored your potty mouth.

Tch.
Because of that I'm completely OOC.

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:03 am

I'm... I...
Um...

Okay, I'm not going to sugar-coat it: that sucked. That was... well, it sucked. The sporkers were out-of-character, it honestly wasn't funny, it needed more editing, and while including us in a sporking isn't a bad idea per se, it is if it isn't in the context of us getting together ourselves and sporking something like that. Not... someone unrelated writing us. That's... kind of weird. (...that being said, I am ~~morbidly~~ curious as to how I would have been portrayed. I'm actually fine with that. I have literally had fanfiction written about me before. That was weird.)

So, um, yeah.
You have a looooong way to go, pal. Next time, PM your sporking to someone else and have them look it over first. That'll weed out the major issues - heck, that'll weed out the minor ones. Just. Editors are your friend.

Keep trying, WhatTheWhat. Keep trying.

(P.S. If you really wanted a yardstick sporking, it would have been a better idea just to... not upload it. Or only upload it - somewhere else - when you've improved.)

(P.P.S. Have you ever heard of a "meta-sporking"?)

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:06 am

But don't be discouraged!
My first two sporkings were even worse than yours!
And look at me!
I'm err.... Slightly better.... I guess.

GyakutenShaiban · Post by **GyakutenShaiban** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:07 am

Apollo: Why do you get to lean on the fourth wall?
Rubia: We pay the rent.

I have no idea why, but this line blew my mind and just completely amused me. Favorite line from this whole thing!

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:11 am

Oliver wrote:But don't be discouraged!
My first two sporkings were even worse than yours!
And look at me!
I'm err.... Slightly better.... I guess.

Yeah, Oliver has improved TONS, and in not very much time, either!
As for myself, I started sporking in late 2010/early 2011, and even by the end of 2011 I was still putting out awful sporkings. Improvement takes time, so even if you don't improve as fast as Oliver did, keep at it!

I don't want to discourage a new sporker since I always love seeing new MSTers bringing new snark to the table. But yeah.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:13 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:27 am

@Whatthewhat: If you're going to spork something when you're tired, I suggest not posting it right away. We hold a high level of quality for sporkings published here, and a half-hearted attempt like that can give off the wrong impression.

That said, I'm quite amused by my role in this very short sporking (shorking?) and definitely give the best lines of all. So, thank you for that.

@Oliver: Well said. This mysterious editor of yours who's helped guide you through such quick improvements certainly is impressive as well.

@Airey: I think you were easily one of the better sporkers right from the start. It could be thanks to prior experience or not, but you got right into things. As a perfectionist as I am, I haven't been that impressed by some of my previous works either.

Oliver · Post by **Oliver** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:29 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:@Oliver: Well said. This mysterious editor of yours who's helped guide you through such quick improvements certainly is impressive as well.

Yes, they are pretty nice.
Actually, are you related to them?

AireyVerkhovensky · Post by **AireyVerkhovensky** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:30 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:@Airey: I think you were easily one of the better sporkers right from the start. It could be thanks to prior experience or not, but you got right into things. As a perfectionist as I am, I haven't been that impressed by some of my previous works either.

Prior experience, definitely prior experience.