I...er...hate, uh, waffles

(GF23) OK, I wrote a will, I bought crap, now to buy stocks.

(CI) STOCKS? That has to be the most boring bore-bore thing you could ever do with your money!

(GF23) Say what you will, this is gonna triple my cash. But who should be my stockbroker?

I will! I may not be a good lawyer but I have a $500,000 estate. Want to know why? I'm good in the stock market!

(GF23) Yes, but you're not a CERTIFIED broker.

Aaaawwww... I was gonna be useful.

(GF23) ...Aw, what the heck. I'll pity hire you.

Yay for pity! Now, you should probably invest in Eurodisney.

(GF23) ...

NOT! Heh, yeah right. Anyway, for real. Levi's is low right now but they're normally huge.

(GF23) OK, buy me that.

How many shares?

(GF23) ...Shares?

They're how many times you'll pay that much and how many you'll get back.

(GF23) ...Look, you do the stocks. I'll pay you a third of what we make.

Woot. Woot indeed.

(GF23) Now, what else... I need butlers and stuff.

:)

(GF23) No.

:(

What about me?

(GF23) You'll do. The pay's crap but you get dental.

OK. ...Do you want something?

(GF23) Get me a coffee!

(DarzieP, hiding behind some bushes) He doesn't know we've replaced his gourmet coffee with super mud like in that Strong Bad e-mail.

(Rev, also hiding behind some bushes) But he has lots of coffee. Which did you replace?

(DarzieP) The Yuban.

(Rev) One, Yuban's crap so he'll never know the difference, two, if he has all sorts of gourmet coffee why would he pick Yuban?

(DarzieP) ...Well...Crap. We'll get him next time.

Your coffee, sir.

(GF23) Yes, thank you Hanz.

Um... sir, my name is not Hanz.

(GF23) Right. Sorry Jeeves.

That's not it either.

(GF23) ...Jenkins?

It's Kevin.

(GF23) ...I'll just call you Myron.

I'd really rather you didn't, sir.

(GF23) Just get out of here. Now, who should be my gardener?

I-

(GF23) You'll do. Get to grass cuttin'!

But I came to be the mechanic!

(GF23) I'll fix up my own goddamn car!!!

But I don't know anything about being a gardener!

(GF23) ...OK, I'll buy you lessons. Until then just water the flowers and wear overalls.

You don't have to ask ME twice!

(GF23) You guys out there reading this funny are probably getting bored so I'll wrap this up now, K? K, bye.

---

*Edgy, Larry and Pheonix sits in an dark room*

OK you all know what to do.
No.
Right, we go through the plan one more time. We're going to assasinate chief Gant.
Why?
Becuase he is an danger to traffic, and therefore to all human life.

*flashback*
Ah, a traffic line! Jolly!
Just get moving.
Really, get moving...
...
MOVE YOU BASTARDS!

*end of flashback*

So why am I in this?
Becuase he hit your girlfriend with his car. Or rather, he drove through her house twice and then hit her. He also killed your newborn, unkown and never mentioned son.
Right. But why do I have to do?
You just have to somehow give Pearls Aids and sell her as a slave to Gant. He will take care of the rest from there.
Worthy, that's the old plan. In the current one, Larry will only *whisper-whisper*
Right. Let's do this shit.

*later*

*Gant is driving his car*

Mjau
A cute kitten.
I HATE KITTENS! *runs over it*
Alright Larry, throw yourself in front of him.
Why am I dressed as a suicide bomber? And what's that ticking sound?
You ask to much, thin boy. Just do it
*Larry jumps in front of Gant's car*
A cute suicide bomber.
I HATE SUICIDE BOMBERS! USE KNIFES COWARDS! *drives into a wall and therefore crushes Larry*
WE DID IT!
...
Isn't he going to blow up? Phoenix, you got the explosives and put them on Larry, right?
Well, they were a bit expensive, so I hoped a normal alarm clock would be the same thing. I mean they both make ticking sounds.
...
...

---

^lol.

---

Dang.

---

Last edited by Wocky Kitaki on Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sorry.

---

Last edited by Wocky Kitaki on Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I didn't mean to Quadruple Post.

---

Which, oddly enough, was funny in itself.

---

Are you sure they were trying to get rid of Gant or just getting rid of larry? Poor Gant, His car must be bloodly as hell from that.

: Good One, Let's go swimming some time, Wacky!

Okay, so we lost Larry, but we shall still kill Gant.
Right. But we need a third one. Otherwise, since you are the main character, I would have to become to comic relif.
I'm ready to kick Gant ass and drink cups of coffee. Screw the first one, just coffee will do.
You're in. Otherwise we will make your office smell like tea.
...yes, you evil demon from hell.
Right. So what do we do next?
We shall be drinking coffee!
...except for that?
Another bombing attempt.
Seconded.
I can make coffee that explodes.

*Later, in Gant's office as he comes in*
Morning suit of armor.
Morning Gant. I mean, i'm a suit of armor, I didn't say anything. Just move along.

*Phoenix and Godot, hiding behind a locker*
Maybe Edgy should have chosen a better hiding place.
Who cares, as long as he get's the explosives under Gant's chair, nothing else matter.

Are you finally ready to talk again my lovely suit of Armor? Good, and now-
WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE?
Eeehhh...
Don't you remember the nights we spent together? We alone, no one around?
Maybe this will help your memory.
*Gant kisses the armor*

Better help Edgy before he get's traumatized for life. Try to hit Gant with your megah-1337-powah-eye-beam. Godot?
Give me a break, it's my coffee pause.

Still don't remember? Maybe this will do.
*Gant strips naked and hugs the armor*
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
*Edgy get's out from the armor completely naked except for his cravat*
LET'S GET OUT FROM HERE!
*Godot, Phoenix and Edgy runs out*
Armorie...
HAVE YOU BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH WORTHY!?!

*Back in kill-Gant hideout*

Why were you naked?
It was hot. I'm only human.
You thought naked Gant was hot?
THE INSIDE OF THE ARMOR, THE ARMOR!
And why did you keep your cravat on?
*Takes of cravat*
Where did tea-boy go?
Edgeworth? Where are you?
*Put it back on*
See my point?



...damnit, I became the comc relif after all.
Yeah, especially now since you are still carrying around the explosives. Which were set to explod about right now.
...in the last moments of my life, I want some alone time.

---

BOOM!!!!!!!!

(GF23, in new mansion) Whoahwhatthehellwasthat? It sounded like a tea drinking heretic blowing up!

*Ding dong. Ding dong, yo.*

(GF23) Who is it?

It's meee!

(GF23) *opens door* Hey there, Lotta baby. *Kisses*



*wakes up*

(GF23) Oh... oh my god! It was all just a horrible, horrible dream!

What's wrong, my GF BF?

(GF23) I had this REALLY weird dream that I wanted to buy a tank and I sold a coffee idea to Starbucks, and I had a butler named Kevin, and there were novelty coffee mugs, and Edgeworth blew up and... and... the worst part was... I KISSED LOTTA!!!!

Well, actually most of that happened. Just not the Lotta part.

(GF23) *whew* Good. That's the last time I fall asleep watching Hypnotoad. Do we have any NyQuill?

It's in the bathroom next to the sink. Now you should really get back to sleep. *kisses* You have a big day tomorrow!

(GF23) Right... right... sorry to wake you up, honey.

---

Last edited by Joebucks on Sat Aug 11, 2007 3:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

Attempt 4 to kill Gant

Ok, this should work. We hide in a tree outside of Gant's office, or his house, with M16K's, when ghe comes out, open fire.
Are you sure bout this?
Yep.

*is walking to car*
*bursts of shots*
HOLY ****!

Cmon, cmon, wait, we only have 1 clip of ammo?
Wright! I'm outta ammo!
Oh wait, 2 clips, EDGEWORTH! CHECK YOUR POCKET!
I never knew...

*dead*

:

Now,

---

*cameras clicking as GF23 walks up to a podium*

(GF23) I've called this press conference today to make a very important announcement about my blend. We are going to be making a decaf version of it.

Uh, yes, Maggy Byrd, Turnabout News. I thought you were morally against decaf?

(GF23) Well, I am and I'm not sure this was a very good move, but I did not approve of it, the Starbucks board of coffeeducation did.

I'm from the Daily Gazette Star Post Times Today, do you think this will affect coffee sales in any way?

(GF23) Yes, they will most likely go up.

I'm from the Weight Watchers Newsletter, If you're making more money then what's wrong?

(GF23) It's not about the money! It has nothing to do with the money! This is teaching our future business people, our future doctors, our future coffee makers even, that decaf is just as good as regular while it's obviously not! America is going through a crisis where if they hear experts say even the most ridiculous things about food or drink they'll believe it!

(DarzieP) Uh, I'm from the Crunk Gazette, what exactly is wrong with decaf?

(GF23) It's getting rid of one of coffee's best aspects. It's like taking the color away from a rainbow, like taking the whip away from Franziska. ...Ok, that last one might be a good thing so never mind but still. You get my point.

So will this take away from the taste at all?

(GF23) Well, if you have developed taste buds like mine then you will notice a large difference, but otherwise, no.

While we are here, is it true that you're a part of the now near obsolete Caffeine Inquisition?

(GF23) No, I am not. That group stands for any form of caffination. I am a proud member of the Coffee Drinker's Society Lodge, though. Now, I'm sorry but I must bring this press conference to a close, but before I do, I want to remind anyone watching, please, write your local congressman and ask him to help abolish decaf. Together we can all make a difference.

*cameras click as GF23 walks back into his house and turns on the TV. Gili is on so he quickly changes over to USA, where Monk is on.*

---

Yes that was Spectaclarly bad I know.

---

Last edited by I_R_Unorthodox on Sat Aug 11, 2007 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I stilled LOLed at it though *nods*

----------------------------
You know, I've been thinking of making my own smiley to include myself in these.

Great another smiley person only some is going to use.

yea, why don't you just use the current ones. It would be easier.

True.. but GF23 has one, and so does that guy with the read hair... I mean.. I want to have at least something...

why don't you use my smiley, I am smexy, and oh so good looking.

.....

Why don't you use him, I mean, looking at your posts, you do seem like an abnoxious prick.




----------------

Now THAT is not funny.. >_>

---

So, why don't you make your own smiley?

[Kazo]: Because I'm lazy and I don't really contribute much.

Really.

[Kazo]:Yep.

[Kyouya's phone rings]

: I AM THE DOCTOR!

[Kazo]: I am never listening to Dead Ringers again.

---

It's The Advice Show With von Awesome and Minuki!

starring.....von Awesome and Minuki!

Welcome to the show.

Nice to see you all.

we have our First Caller to give advice to.

: Like, um, Brother.

*Sigh* Ini I'm not your brother. What, Ini?

Like, how, um, do I get the TV working to watch your, like, show?

Did you press the 'on' button on The Remote.

Like.....yeah.

Are the Batteries dead?

Like, no. I like, just got them from the Judge's Pacemaker.

YOU TOOK BATTERIES FROM THE JUDGE'S PACEMAKER?

Like, of course not. He like gave it to me......then he stopped moving.

Okay. Is the TV even Plugged in?

Like........no.

Plug it in.

Like, I just remembered. I, like, can't.

*Sigh* WHY?

I just remembered, I don't own a TV. Bye Bro.

I'm not your--

*Ini hangs up*

*Sigh* Next Caller.

Last Night was wounderful, Minuki. I never felt so Al--

*Hangs up* Oops. I, uh, accidentally hung up.

Next Caller.

???: (Fake Sweedish Accent) Gowd Morning. I vam from Sweedseland. I vonder If you--Vyou! and minenugi vould spend the Nite ova vere.

Gant. Get off the Line.

....Prick *Hangs up*

Next Caller.

Minuki. Why can't you let your Audience know we're in Lo--

*Hangs up* Oops. I'm really clumsy today.

Next Caller.

It----it's not fair. Why is my name Doug Swallows? Apollo Justice is atleast halfway decent.

Here's advice. Quit Bitching, Emo. *Hangs up*

One Last call.

Minuki Naruhodo, Will you Marry me?

*Crying* Yes. Yes I will. *Runs to meet up with Ema*

......What the hell was that about?

I don't know, sir. I'm just the Cameraman.

Huh. Well, till next time, this is the advice show with von Awesome and Minuki.

---

Good evening ladies, welcome to the Haute Cafe, what can we interest you in today?

Coffee?
Tea?
[or me?]

OHMIGYAAAHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!


................... I FAIL!

---

*GF23 walks into the Starbucks office. 5 executives are there, sitting around him as if he was being judged by the Jedi council ...just trust me, they ARE executives.*

GodotFan, what the hell was that?

(GF23) I was speaking my mind. I do not believe in decaf! I am a coffee purist!

What? Purist? This is Starbucks! All our coffee is one percent coffee bean, ninety-nine percent milk or flavor shots or other crap! We don't just make coffee! We make half-caf-latteechinnochas!

(GF23) That's my point! Starbucks used to be about coffee! You have become corrupt!

*a gasp falls over the room, while the CEO, Darzie looks at him, interested in what he has said*

...GodotFan, I'm very sorry we have to do this... but you are exiled from the grand order of Starbucks.

(GF23) Fine! I'm better off without you anyway. ...You people just don't understand. ...You'll never understand my love for coffee! ...Fine. But I withdraw use of my name, blend, and likeness from this company! Good thing I didn't have to sign any contracts or anything.

*GF23 then walks outside and sits on a bench. He crushes a plastic Starbucks cup under his foot*

(GF23) Damn them! Damn them all!!!

???: What is wrong, Javawan?

(GF23) Huh? W...who's there?

(DarzieP) Relax, GodotFan. It is only me.

(GF23) D... Darzie? ...Goddamn, you're in everything! I'm replacing you with Rev for this one.

(Rev) Oh, see, well, I got a thing... today...

(GF23) Shut up Rev. Just read the prompter.

Oh, uh... Why are you so upset with the council?

(GF23) ...I...They just don't understand coffee purism. No one does.

(Rev) I understand it, GodotFan.

(GF23) Huh? You... you do?

(Rev) Yes, I know exactly what's going on. The council was using you. They just wanted to take advantage of you and try to corrupt you as they have the rest of the world.

(GF23) ...Now...Wait... you're right! That must have been it!!

(Rev) You need a true group of purists. Join me on the Caribou side. Together we shall rule the world of coffee ad rid it of the treacherous Starbucks!

(GF23) Jeez, you sure have been using some big words today! Anyway, sure, I'm in.

(Rev) Hehehe... Lord Darkblend... rise.

(GF23) I'd rather just be calld GodotFan if you don't mind.

*GF23 rises as ominous music plays and a red aura seems to glow around him*

---

Now we have lost Edgeworth and his bathroom. But, since Gant isn't dead yet, we have to keep going.
You said it Maya Wright.
So who should we get into our group this time?
I shall destory Gant perfectly. He is going to pay after he cheated on me with that stupid armor.
Right. Karma, you're "perfect", so you can come up with an plan to do this.
That is correct. I got a plan here, timed and perfect, into the smallest detail.
Excellent Mannie.
We need following things;
*1 slingshot *Godot steals Cody's*
*42 black kittens *Phoenix kidnaps the kittens from children who are nearly dying with the comment "they will die soon anyway"*
*3 pairs of sunglasses *Manfred steal the ones from three blind people who were walking on the street*
*42 small bottles with acid *Godot blends coffee drinks that causes the cup he blends it in to be destroyed due Corrosion*
*2 bottles of champange *Phoenix buys a 42$ gun to rob a mart for a 38$ bottle of champange*
*2 Idiots *Karma watches Godot and Phoenix pick eachothers noses*
*And finally, 1 gun *Godot pulls one up from the inside of his pants*

*Later, inside Gant's home*
How are we supposed to hid our equipment? The kittens are trying to claw Godot's lungs out.
I didn't know kittens reacted like this if you fed coffee to them. Maybe I should have added some more cream in it.
Silence Fool 1 and Fool 2. Let's hide ourself in this room which is labeled number 1.
...why is this room full of chains, whips and baby food and has teletubbies posters in it?
The very same reason why we should hide somewhere else.
*walks into the room next to it which has a label 2*
And why does this room have a heart shaped poster of me while I am in a bathtub filled with coffee and Godot next to me?
Don't you remember baby?
Alright, one last room to try
*walks into the next room with label 3*
...I can't express this in words.
*does a Karma-headbang-against-wall*
This will do. All right, Gant is coming.
*Gant walks by the door while Karma watches him through a crack in the door.
*singing I touch myself*
Alright, release the kittens.
... my kitty sense is tingling. *turns around*
Cute kittens.
I HATE KITTENS! NEED WEAPON!
*throws out the slingshot and the bottles of acid*
This will do *shoots the kittens*
I thought the happiest moment in my life was the one when I got Pearls into room 1. I was wrong.
Put on the glasses. You don't want to see this.
*All three puts the sunglasses on*
If would say a catchy comment now the room would freeze since i'm so cool.
Now, throw out the bottles of champange.
What's this?
Now you two runs out in front of him.
*Godot and Phoenix runs out in front of Gant*
MY SWEETHEARTS! Let's have some champange, get into a coffee pool and then who knows?
*Karma comes out and shoot Phoenix and Godot in their legs*
NO! I'm too ready to not give my all now.
I'm ready for you big boy.
Karma!
ROFSIP(Rolling on the floor screaming in pain)
Wait, weren't we supposed to kill him?
I think I got my secret plans mixed up. This was my plan to get sixty year old men horny. My plan for killing someone was propably lower down in my pile of plans.
Wait a second, why would you have a plan for something like this?
I R PERFECT!



So we got shot in the legs and Gant survived and went of with Karma? This is more meaningless and disturbing than a bad fan fic. Which often does NOT involve coffee.
Shut up. I'm doing the best I can.

---

LW, I really love your funnies XD They make me LOL so much.

---

[Before a random scene in GS4]

Ugh, I hope we get this done soon, it took three hours to get the stubble on in makeup.

Makeup?

Hey, you don't get to look this disheveled by accident.
=====
Is 'piratical' good?

Let me answer that one!

[Kazo]:Let's just go with yes, shall we?
=====
[In a random big gay orgy]

Well, I think this is a little irregular.

A little irregular?

Well, I never heard of anything like it.

Are we in the same game series?

=====
[Kazo]: Ooh, a NaruMitsu fic!

NaruMitsu?! What, they just shove our names together with no regard for common decency?

[Kazo]: Yeah, pretty much.

Do they do it for others?

[Kazo]: Well, there's NokoMitsu, YahaNaru, MitsuKaru...

Mitsukaru?

[Kazo]: Well, it's not much worse than your real name.

But they're pairing me up with von Karma?

[Kazo]: Actually, they're pairing your dad up with von Karma.

GAH! THE IMAGES!
=========

Well, Mr. Edgeworth, you may be able to wrap Gumshoe around your little finger, but you won't find me so easily swayed.

Am I in trouble?

You've been a very naughty boy, Mr. Edgeworth.

Oh, goodie!

I don't think he's taking you seriously, Mr. Gant.
=============

I have never accused you of being a foolish fool!

Yes you have!

I'm sure I used a longer phrase than that!
============

[Kazo]: THIS THREAD IS WEIRD!
==========

And the fact that Minuki's trying to seduce you does not mean that you should be playing air guitar.

But I was just getting to my solo!

That is Kyouya's idea of foreplay, you know.
=========

[After a random Phoenix GS4 line]

Gimme a hat! I could do that line better than Phoenix!

Edgeworth in a hat! [howls with laughter]

I'll have you know I look dashing in a hat.

Edgeworth in a hat!

Oh, shut up Wright.
=========

---

AHH MENTAL SCARRING. Hilarious though, intresting!

---

*at the Caribou HQ...*

(GF23) ...

(Rev) ...

(T3h_Waffleman, who is evidently also a coffee sith lord) ... Oh my god I'm in a funny! An actual funny!!!

(GF23) So... what do you guys do for fun here? I mean, I want to stop making Star Wars references, so...

(Waffles) Normally we drink gratuitous amounts of coffee and hold off Tim Hortonites.

(A Hortonite) ATTACK THERE, EH?

(GF23) *shoots Will*

(Rev) Heh, nice.

(GF23) ...Hey, this place pays about as much as Starbucks, right?

(Rev) Yup.

(GF23) ...

(Waffles) ...

(Rev) There's a couple of stand up arcade games.

(GF23) Oh, really? Which game?

(Rev) Tekken 3.

(GF23) Aw yeah, best one.

(Waffles) Wanna go play it?

(GF23) Nah, I'm good.

(Rev) ...

(GF23) This place is really boring. Let's buy some stuff.

(Rev) Like what?

(GF23) ...I got an idea! Let's order a pie!

(Rev) Hey, good idea! A pie!

(Waffles) (A pie? That's odd. Why would they order a pie? Oh well, better tell him what I want on it.)

*A few minutes later...*

(GF23) OK, here it is. One pepperoni, one mushroom, one blueberry.

(Waffles) Dang... I should have known Pie is slang for Pizza...

---

NOTE: THIS IS NOT HOW I REALLY FEEL. I JUST WANT A LEAD IN FOR ME TO BE MORE INVOLVED IN THIS NEXT FUNNY
----
*At Phoenix's apartment*
Hey Elias.
Hey Nick. *Sigh*
What's wrong.
Nick...I...For my musical funnies...I'm thinking of hanging it up.
What? Why?
It's just...My PW Grease was a hit. I had multiple posts after that of people LMAOing. Now...I make one out of Hairspray and nobody laughs....
...Wow...Do you need a hug?
Yes. *Hugs Phoenix, who pushes him off*
I was just asking!
...Oh...I knew that...I wish I had a sad smiley...
Good for you you lazy loser.
I'll give you a hug.
...Eh...works with me. *Hug*
*Comes in holding a candle and walks over to Phoenix* Will you light my candle?
NOOOOO! No more music.
....WTF is wrong with him?
He's just being a loser 'cause nobody laughed at his last musical. He wants to quit writing musicals.
What? Why?
Not only is that the exact same thing I was saying, but I just told you.
Oh, yeah. There's got to be something we can do.
I've got an idea!
----
*Is walking down the street in the rain*
I'm siiiiiiinging in the rain! Just siiiiiiiining in the rain! What a *shot*
*Puts away revolver, then steals Edgeworth's cravat* Hey, the only reason I liked him was because he was a brit and had a cravat.
----
Hey, thanks for coming. The repairman is late, and I don't want Maureen to be mad at me.
Yeah. Well, it's nice to know I can help out a pretty lady like you. But why does the name Maureen Johnsen sound so familiar to me?
I don't know. Anyways... The cymbles won't delay, but the cable...
There's another way. Say something, anything.
*Walks over to microphone* Test one two three
Anything but...that.
This is weird.
This is weird.
Really weird.
F***ing weird.
I'm so made that I don't know what to do. Fighting with microphones, freezing down to my bones, and to top it all off I'm with you!
Feel like going insane, got a fire in your brain, and you're thinking of drinking gasolene!
As a matter of fact.
Honey, I know this act! It's called: The Tango Maureeeeeeeen. The Tango Mareee STOP! NO! You will not make me change my mind I will not go back to writing musical funnies!
But Elias!
No buts! Not you, even if you are hot, will change my mind.
----
Will I go back to writing musical funnies? TO BE CONTINUED!

---

PHOENIX AND EVERYONE ELSE PLAYING BATTLEFIELD 2
For the USMC team:











For the MEC/PLA:












Spectator(s):

(he joins later)

OK, GO!

Kits are:
USMC
get Assault
get Medic
snipe
is a tanker (engineer)
is a pilot(engineer)
Special Ops
PLA/MEC
Assault
Medic (he thinks the medpacks are cups of coffee) also medic
support
sniper
tanker (engineer)
sniper
Special Ops

First kill of the round!

M16A2


ALSO!
(Knife and pistol with all kits, grenades almost standard)
USMC KIT EQUIPTMENT
Assault:
M16A2
GRENADE LAUNCHER
Smoke Grenade

Medic(all have medipacks and shock paddies)
M16A2
Grenades
Shock paddies (can also revive players)


Sniper
M24 Rifle
Grenades
Claymore mines

Special Ops(all sides have C4 for this class)
M4 Rifle
Grenades
Pistol with silencer

Engineer (they all have a wrench)
Shotgun
Mines
Grenades

Support(always have ammo bags)
M249 SAW
Grenades

MEC (almost standard, grenades)
Assault Ak101, Grenade launcher, smoke
Medic Ak101, medipacks, shock paddies
Engineer, shotgun, mines,
Sniper, SVD, silent pistol, claymores
Spec ops, Ak74U, silent pistol, C4

PLA
Assault/Medic have Ak47, assault has Ak47 with nade launcher
Medic, shock paddies, medipack
Enginner, dunno, shotgun? mines, etc
Spec ops, dunno gun, Ak47u? C4, silent pistol, blah blah
Sniper, SVD, silent thingy, Claymores

This is too long right now, more when I get back up from my sleep
Oh, edit, phoenix changes classes in game alot! He has all unlocks for the classes also...)
Just for
Sniper, M95 Rifle takes out chopper pilots in 1 shot
Assault, SCAR N
Spec ops SCAR L
Medic SCAR N
Engineer Automatic shotgun thingy

[And now I present...When Duo Lon had his day in court.]

HOW DO YOU KNOW HE DIDN'T KILL ANYONE?!

. . .You won't even let him testify to defend himself...GIVE HIM A FREAKING CHANCE!

When I arrived at the hotel, the victim in question was already dead. I had knelt near his body, not sure if he was still alive...

How did you know the victim was already dead and then say you weren't sure he was still alive?

I'm getting to that. Sheesh. You're worse than Ash Crimson...anyways...I had knelt near his body, not sure if he was alive. I pressed two fingers onto his carotid artery to check for a pulse. When I found none, I held a mirror in front of his mouth and nose to check and see if he was breathing. I found no signs of life whatsoever, and as I was about to talk to his spirit...THE POLICE DRAG ME OUT, CALLING ME A FREAKING LIAR BECAUSE I DRESS DIFFERENT, ACT DIFFERENT, AND AM OF A DIFFERENT NATIONALITY! IT'S RACIAL PROFILING AGAINST THE CHINESE!
. . .Okay. Um. I can't find anything wrong with that. Damn.

Damn straight you can't.

---

Round 1 Battlefield 2, Strike at Al Karkland
SCAR
UNDERSXLUNG GRENADE LAUNCHER
Were sorry we have to pause this match, I have to eat my lunch!

The defendant, Ema Skye is accused of murdering Jake Marshall on January 17.

(That isn't right...)

Actually, it was on January 18 that the victim was killed.

:...

...

...

...

...

THIS COURT FINDS PHOENIX WRIGHT !!!






I was feeling random.

---

Deleted due to slightly pervertedness, and the fact that's not funny.

Sorry to Godot Fan.

Last edited by Allan's Aokage on Fri Aug 17, 2007 7:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Sirius... Die. Now. Go. Die.

---

Actually, I'll just delete that funny. It's a terrible joke, anyway. *delets funny*

Phoenix Wright Battlefield 2

and everyone else playing:
MY COMPUTER! IT'S HACKED!
oops, that virus attempt didn't go so well, even I got myself with it... (Their computers are shot, it even destroyed their Intel Quad Cores and nVidia 12000 video cards, not to mention the case itself for the hardware)

*outside the New York Courtroom building*

Today's the day I prevent my client from becoming guilty!

Even know its a murder trial again.

Phoenix Wright, 24, Defence Lawyer

Ah, I see my sexy assistance has arrived!

MAYA! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! YOUR 10 MINUTES LATE!

Maya Fey, 17, Sprite Media

ME LATE! *slaps Phoenix*

You were suppose to be meeting me yesterday at 'Joe's Burgers'! With no help from you, I got the necessary evidence to save Larry Butz! You have Grossberg to thank next time you feel like meeting him.

Where were you yesterday anyway?

Hmmm....


*Flashback*

*getting wasted*

So Edgey, this *hic ups* one time at lawyer camp, *hic-ups*, I slept with the bitchy Franny! *falls off stool*

I KNEW IT! You must have been so wasted! Good job Maya hasn't found out let!

Miles Edgeworth, 24, Prosecution Lawyer

Just don't *hic ups* tell anyone! *falls asleep*

*End Flashback*


All I remember was being at the bar with Edgeworth!

You were WHERE! *punches Phoenix*

That's the last time you're drinking with the enemy! Lucky someone has brains in this defence team. Lets get inside!


*Inside Waiting Room*

NICK! Please save me! I didn't kill her! I swear on my Butz!

Larry Butz, 23, Slacker

Oh great, I'm saving HIM again!

*kicks Phoenix* Ignore him Larry!

Luckly I got the evidence which proves that you didn't kill Lotta Hart! It was in fact Richard Wellington and the security camera caught him! Now where did I put the photo?

Looking for this you foolish girl!

Franziska von Karma, 17, Prosecution Lawyer

*is holding photo in right hand*

GIVE THAT BACK!

And why should I do that!

*whips Maya*

LEAVE HER ALONE!

As you wish. But its now time to burn some evidence! *gets light out and burns photo*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

See you in the courtroom Penix White! You foolish idiotic fools can't defeat me! Larry will be as good as guilty in 5 minutes! MUHAHAHAHAHA! *Franziska walks into courtroom*

This isn't good!

I'M DOOMED! The smelly rumours can't be passed as the truth!

At this rate, it looks like that saying may happen!

Don't worry, we've been in worse situations, we can still do it!


*Inside Courtroom*

We will now proceed with the trial of Seymour Bu.., I mean Larry Buts! Von Karma, I presume your ready?

Name unknown, age unknown, Judge

Of course your Honour! A von Karma is always perfectly ready!

And the same goes for My Wright?

Er... well... kind of...

Kind of? You client is on trial for murder! You better have prepared yourself or else your client will be sentenced Guilty!

(This isn't good! There's no way I can prove Larry innocent without that picture! There's only one thing to do!)

HELLLAALPPPP!


*At The Elite Beat Agents Headquarters*

Missy: People don't seem to be wanting help these days. Man I'm so bored! We could go and watch a film perhaps?

Foxy: Sounds fun but is there anything good on?

Starr: As much as I would love to go and watch a film, we still have to cover the boys shift!

Missy: But their 10 minutes late and they should have been back by now!

Foxy: Its not like anybody has called for help anyway. I say we go to the cinema and let the boys get in trouble. It will be fun seeing Commander Kahn yell at them!

Starr: AND LEAVE A PERSON IN TROUBLE! We're staying and that's....

HELLLLALPPPP!

Foxy: At last! Some action!

Missy: TO THE BATMOBILE!

Starr and Foxy: ...

Missy: Well it does look like Batman's car!

*the Elite Beat Divas rush to scene in their Batmobile like car where help is needed*

Starr: Well here's the place. Out side New York Courtroom and the target is Phoenix Wright who needs help in winning a trial!

Missy: We need to help him gather all the evidence he needs!

Foxy: And only music can help save him!

*all rush inside the Courtroom*


Will Phoenix mange to provide a Not Guilty verdict for Larry? Will the Elite Beat Divas dance like they have never danced before? When will RadioShadow continue the story? Only time will tell!

To be continued!

What's it like, Phoenix?

What, the intimate parts?

No... what's love like?

Love? ...You mean you guys have never been in love?

I think I was in love once.

Really? What was her name?

I don't remember.

That's not a good start, but keep going...

She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.

I'm pretty sure that's not love.

Damn it.

I love... carpet.

[pause]

I love... desk.

Edgeworth, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?

I love lamp.

Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?

I love lamp. I love lamp.

Do you really want to know what it's like?

Yes

Uh-huh.

More than ANYTHING.

Well... it was a little like...

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight

gonna grab some afternoon delight.

My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right.

Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.

When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.

And you know the night is always gonna be there any way.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

I think you guys got it.

Mm... I don't know.

Yeah, nick, that sounds kinda stupid.

---

Time for a PW funny shorts from me:

:You Like Men!

:you can see into my mind?

:no

F**k

=============

: wake up, wake up, wake up WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

: Dude, STFU!

: You have to saaaaave the Deeeeeefendants

that's fan-f**king-Tastic

: it's your responsibility

: oh I guess that's ok

*falls down flight of stairs*

OH GOD THIS HURTS!!!

here's a lawyer badge and a suit, go point at stuff

cooooooool

*later*
*sees Big courtroom*
Wow, this is intimidating

Look, I don't really care just go saaaaave the deeefendant

*With Zelda "you got Item music"*
You got evidence, added to court records

cool I got evidence

*witness comes in babbling*

oh S**t what do I do?

*sees contridiction*

oh...

*gets not guilty*

Youn saaaaved the deeeeefendant

Defendant: *sarcastic* Woo-hooo

---

*Continuing where we last left off...*

(CI): Well it's about time!

(LySs) Oh shush. It's not MY fault that I suffer from a bad case of writer's block.

(CI): But it's been almost 4 months since the last chapter of Changes-

(LySs): *points gun at CI* I said WRITER'S BLOCK DAMNIT!

(CI): Alright alright jeez! Anyway, Phoenix and Edgeworth are obviously in danger. How are we going to rescue them?

(LySs): Don't worry. I've got the perfect plan...

*MEANWHILE: At some secret base located in the woods near Gourd Lake*

*stuck in a net attached to a tree* ...great. Just great. Now look what you've pulled us into Wright.

*also stuck in a net attached to a tree* Oh so now it's MY fault? Like you weren't chasing after her too?

Well this all would have never happened if you never said you'd give up the trial for a Klondike bar.

What?! My answer had nothing to do with yours!

Whatever. Anyway, what we should be worrying about now is how to get out of here. Where are we anyways?

OHOHOHO! Look at what ol' Ganty has caught in his net today!

...crap.

GANT! What the hell are you doing here?!

I'm the one who should be asking that question! This is my secret prison base used to capture any suspicious men who've been acting naughty. I always go around asking women that if they're ever being chased by any strange men that they should lure them here. Ingenious isn't it??

Why the hell would you go and do that??

Oh...to punish them in my own way of course...

You're a sick, sick man Gant.

I thank you for that compliment.

Well since we're not anyone suspicious, mind letting us go?

Oh? But what's the rush? While you're here why not stay for a bit? How about we go for a swim?

Er...thanks for the offer. But uh...we really need to get going-

Well then...what if I gave you THESE? *pulls out two Klondike bars*

*GASP*

Oh yes, I know what you two want.... If you want these Klondike bars all you have to do is take a little swim with me.

Alright! Fine! We'll do it!

It's just a swim in the lake. How bad can it be?

That's the spirit!! *cuts rope* There's a shack right over there where you can change your clothes. I'll be waiting!

*MEANWHILE: Outside the Gourd Woods*

(CI)...this is the place?? I...I go hiking here every weekend...

(LySs): Seriously?

(CI): Yeah but it was weird. Everytime I left the woods my ass would start to hurt...

(LySs): ...

(CI): ...

*long pause*

(CI): OH GOD!! OH MY GOD!!

(LySs): Well...forget about that. We have more important things to worry about right now-

(CI): Oh so what happened to me was not important!!? I've been violated! Deflowered! Assaulted! Without even knowing!

(LySs): ....Deflowered?

(CI): Uh...*ahem*Let's just go ahead with the rescue plan...

*MEANWHILE: Back at the secret base*

*Phoenix and Edgeworth walk out the stalls naked*
Huh? Where are our swimtrunks?

Oh didn't I tell you? Swimming requires you to be nekkid!!

But doesn't Gourd Lake prohibit skinny-dipping?

Yes.

So why the hell are we naked??

Because boys, when I say "swim" I actually mean...

*rips off clothes* IT'S RAPIN' TIME!!

NOOO!!

I changed my mind!! I don't want a Klondike bar anymore!

What he said!!

*Doorbell rings*

Oh. I'LL GET IT! *walks to the door*

Phew... That was close...

...this place actually has a doorbell??

*door opens*

(DarzieP) Sup bitches!!

(RevFirst) We were called that a hot party was goin on in here?

(DarzieP) Hey where are the hot chicks??

Well there aren't any hot chicks and I don't remember ever calling you two but you're welcome to join the party all right!

(RevFirst): Dude! Why the hell are you naked??

Uhhh....why aren't you?

(RevFirst)...You're alright man.

(DarzieP) Hey Rev, I've got a bad feeling about this...

(RevFirst) I know what you mean. So I've got an idea.

(DarzieP) Awww yeah!! Time to kick some ass! Bout time we've got some action going on in this crappy funny!

(RevFirst) : *pushes DarzieP into Gant* Later!! *runs off*

(DarzieP) Oh you sonuva-

Y HALO THAR. Care to go for a swim?

(DarzieP) ...Mommy...

(CI) Alright! He's been distracted! Now's your chance! I'll get Phoenix and Edgeworth out of here.

(LySs): I'm on it! *ahem*
~OHHH GANTY-POO~

...hmmm? Oh! You're that lovey young lady from the hot tub aren't you?
Is there anything I can help you with? Heheh...

(LySs): Actually, yes.


EAT OVER 9000 GIGAWATTS OF FIREPOWER MOTHERFUCKER!!!
(Note: Ignore the fact that I can't draw firearms to save my life)

...HOLY SHI-

*Base goes splodeh*

LOOKS LIKE OL' GANTY'S BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAIN.... *twinkle*

...did I just see a naked man fly across the sky?

Man...better lay off the drugs...

(LySs): *wipes soot off* Phew! Glad that's over and done with! Is everyone okay??

Well I'm still naked, but I'm fine.

Could someone go fetch us some towels or something?

(LySs): Why? I don't mind that you two are naked. ;D

....

(LySs): Fine fine...go and ruin my fun why dontcha?

(CI) Besides a few mental scars, I think I'm okay.

(DarzieP) *lying face down in the dirt* Uh...c-could someone go and call me an ambulence? I uh...kinda can't feel my legs. Plus my ass kinda hurts for some reason...

(LySs): So we're all safe and sound. Anyone in the mood for frappuccinos? My treat!

Well you're the one who got us into this mess so you damn well better be treating us.

(LySs): Right right. Well I know what you guys really want so... *pulls out Klondike bars* Here you go!

Actually, after what happened today I don't want one anymore.

Same here.

(LySs): ...Are you saying that after all that trouble we've been through...

(LySs): YOU DON'T WANT THEM NOW!?

:wacky-edgy: Uhh...

(LySs): WELL THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD! YOU'RE EATING THESE KLONDIKE BARS AND THAT'S THAT YOU HEAR ME!?? *cracks knuckles*

Y-YES MA'AM!

(LySs): Good! Now lets' go get those frappuccinos!

: But we're still naked...

(LySs) I SAID FRAPPUCCINOS!! NOW!!

(CI) When it comes to frappuccinos, you don't wanna piss her off. Seriously.

*LySs, CI, Nick and Edgey all head for Starbucks*

...Frappuccinos?? Did I hear correctly?? Those are the drinks of EVIL!! I must notify the Coffee Drinker's Society Lodge about this right away!

*THE END!....or is it?*

(DarzieP) *still lying face down in the dirt* ...Uh hello? Anyone? ...Is that my spleen lying over there??

~~~

No hard feelings CI, Rev, Darzie?

---

Last edited by LySs on Sun Aug 19, 2007 5:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

[Kazo]: Hmmm.....

What?

[Kazo]: Well if Elias is going to quit the musicals thing, maybe I should take it up.

Oh, no! You watch the weird shit, and before you know it, I'm forced to marry von Karma but I really love Phoenix.

Or Mia and I kill people and trick other people into eating them.

Or creating the Declaration of Independence....well, that ain't too bad.

Aren't you forgetting that staircase scene that just screams 'gay'?

Oh yeah.

Well, it could be worse. She could make the four of us do the Lucky Star dance.

[Kazo]: Good idea!

:Crap

[For an idea of why they say 'crap', watch this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=6zJXi-FU7sA& ... ed&search=]

---

Phoenix Wright, your client is GUILTY!! GUILTY I TELL YOU, GUILTY!
What the f***? I'm not the one supposed to lose, Edgeworth is. >_>
Besides, I'm player-controlled and the game should have gone 'game over' by now.
But I happen to own a copy of Gyakuten Saiban.
YOU CAN SEE INTO MY MIND?
No.
By the way, what Gyakuten Saiban do you happen to own?
5.
GS5 isn't released yet!
ONOZ
Oh, jolly! Time paradox! *claps hands*

---