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Re: The New Vent Station (please read the rules before postiTopic%20Title
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We have to go put our cat down, and my mom insists I wash my hair before going outside.
What does it matter if my hair is unwashed in this situation? Who the hell is gonna honestly CARE?
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I have to vent about Overwatch. Yes, maybe I’m taking it too seriously, sign I’ll have to take a break (haha). Honestly, I’m so pissed off that I’d swear right now that I’ll never play this game again, but I know this probably ain’t true.

Anyway, I can’t stand retards who keep me from climbing anymore. I deserve better teams. Yes, this is arrogant, but this is true. In the vast majority of times, I get at least two golden medals in the end of my matches and the biggest number of kills, but often my effort is not enough because I can’t 1v6 the opposite team. My own team is so incompetent that even when I open many opportunities for them, hell, even when I kill HALF of the enemy team, they can’t manage to deal with the situation without fucking everything up. I just lost 100 SR and I’m stuck in Gold because of this kind of player.

I just got out of a match with a bunch of idiots, none of them were kind and sensible enough to pick a tank. This is the first time I become THAT pissed off over a videogame. I said I don’t want to be the person who often blames others without recognizing my own mistakes, but I don’t know how else to describe what is happening here. Most of the times, my stats are great, I often end with POTM, and to me this is a clear sign that the problem is not me, but my teammates. If they did at least half of what I do, we would have a guaranteed win.

The only mistake I remember doing sometimes is rushing into the opposite team completely alone, but honestly, this is because I’ve become so impatient and used to rely on myself only that lately I don’t even consider waiting for my teammates to get into fights.
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Thelema wrote:
This is the first time I become THAT pissed off over a videogame

Hm, getting upset over a video game is often seen as petty, and it is possible not only for others to invalidate you, but it's possible for you to beat yourself up over feeling that way as well. But it's not just a game you're having a problem with, it's those teammates of yours. They are incredibly incompetent and a dead weight. I have no idea how the hell you get matched to you, since they'd probably be in a lower tier. Otherwise, they could be trolls, who are deliberately trying to drag you down, and you may need to block them or something, to prevent them from being teamed up with you.

Now, do not feel like an idiot or anything for being upset over a game. It WILL happen! I've seen it before!
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Thelema wrote:
I have to vent about Overwatch. Yes, maybe I’m taking it too seriously, sign I’ll have to take a break (haha). Honestly, I’m so pissed off that I’d swear right now that I’ll never play this game again, but I know this probably ain’t true.

Anyway, I can’t stand retards who keep me from climbing anymore. I deserve better teams. Yes, this is arrogant, but this is true. In the vast majority of times, I get at least two golden medals in the end of my matches and the biggest number of kills, but often my effort is not enough because I can’t 1v6 the opposite team. My own team is so incompetent that even when I open many opportunities for them, hell, even when I kill HALF of the enemy team, they can’t manage to deal with the situation without fucking everything up. I just lost 100 SR and I’m stuck in Gold because of this kind of player.

I just got out of a match with a bunch of idiots, none of them were kind and sensible enough to pick a tank. This is the first time I become THAT pissed off over a videogame. I said I don’t want to be the person who often blames others without recognizing my own mistakes, but I don’t know how else to describe what is happening here. Most of the times, my stats are great, I often end with POTM, and to me this is a clear sign that the problem is not me, but my teammates. If they did at least half of what I do, we would have a guaranteed win.

The only mistake I remember doing sometimes is rushing into the opposite team completely alone, but honestly, this is because I’ve become so impatient and used to rely on myself only that lately I don’t even consider waiting for my teammates to get into fights.



You tried using the team finder to find like-minded individuals who believe in balanced party comps?
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*Sigh* No, I’m not. I’m trying to climb by solo queuing. Sometimes I play with some users I became friends with during matches, but most of the times, I want to feel like I can carry the games alone.

Also, I apologize for everything I said before. Yes, I often play with shite teammates, but my anger made me blind to the fact that I’m always partially responsible for the losses as well, and still have much to learn. The goal of the game is to win as a team and not end with good individual stats.

It is frustrating AF to depend on other people to achieve something, though. Even in videogames. Sometimes you feel like your hands are completely tied, you can’t have the individual impact you’d want to have because it is supposed to be teamwork. And I’m failing at teamwork.
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Why the hell was I chosen to start working early shift? I don't get it -- why have someone who peviously worked nightshift start dayshift by going early? For the past two days, I have been setting my alarm to get up and used to how my schedule will be for the early shift, meaning that I get up at 5 AM. I can already tell, I can't do this...! The biggest problem is that I am still struggling to get away from the nightshift schedule I had, so I don't sleep most or a big part of the day away.

I have gotten better at that. I try to go to bed earlier than I previously have, which meant around midnight or 1 AM compared to not going to bed until 6 or 7 AM. But here's the issue... I still have the insomnia that I've had for several months! Even before nightshift, there is a big difference for me between 'going to bed' and 'falling asleep'. I might go to bed at midnight, but that doesn't mean I fall asleep. It could take two hours or longer before I finally fall asleep. And even attempts at going to bed earlier, it doesn't work.

And after this week of early shift, I am going to be doing day shift -- from 2:30 PM onward, until 11 PM. That's another week of messing up my sleeping schedule.

During the interview, the general manager said that I must know shift schedules, then, because of my experience in nightshift. Uh... technically, I know about shift schedules, but I was always just nightshift. It didn't matter who I was taking over for in the previous shift or who was taking over from me for the next shift. Jesus Christ, this constant messing with my sleep schedule... when the hell am I supposed to sleep properly?! Get up at 5 AM and finish work at 3 PM, hope to whatever that I don't give in to the temptation to nap in the afternoon, then hope I manage to fall asleep well... and then have two days off, probably spend most of those days asleep to catch up, only to suddenly tell myself it's okay...! I can sleep in a bit before the later day shift, where I don't get home until 11:30 PM, and then stay up a few hours because I don't have to be awake at 5 AM the next day...

I don't want to immediately bug the manager and ask if I can only be scheduled to work one type of day shift (early or later) within the first or second week of a new job.
But this sounds horrendously bad for my health! Worse than nightshift, even. :larry:
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would be real fuckin nice if just once i could open my bedroom door while my parents are home and not immediately hear something racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, or transphobic

just the one time

i don’t think that’s too much to ask
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Yeah you've got my sympathy man. That must be awful to deal with. :sadshoe:
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Yikes, no kidding there, it does sound quite rough. Sorry to have to deal with this sort of stuff. Sad to see that people like that in today's society still.
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Lind wrote:
would be real fuckin nice if just once i could open my bedroom door while my parents are home and not immediately hear something racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, or transphobic

just the one time

i don’t think that’s too much to ask

Sheesh, what kinda parents do YOU have? And how do they even find the time to say all that horrible shit?
To all the creepypastas, Romans, etc.
http://pa1.narvii.com/5806/85074bd75bdf ... 9d1_hq.gif
YOU JUST MESSED WITH THE WRONG PERSON!!!

Hydrophyl the Feraligatr is going to rearrange the Phantom's kneecaps! You never know, I used him, and only him - to defeat the entire E4 and all of Kanto's Gym leaders, believe it or not!

I've become a DeviantArt member! Link to my DeviantArt Here:
http://articuno32.deviantart.com/
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My neighbors are so petty. When we first moved here we were told that every other week we have to alternate taking out the garbage and recycling. We were fine with that. For the first few months we could NEVER throw our trash out. Our neighbors took all of the trash cans. We were nice and just held our trash until we had an opportunity.
Last night the landlord calls us and says that the neighbors are complaining that they can't throw their trash out. Uh... boo hoo? Wtf do you want me to do? (Noted: I didn't say that out loud, of course.)
Apparently we had to go through the trash and separate everything. Mind you, only 2 bags were ours the rest were theirs. Not only that, there were two bags that were only 5% full and only had recycling in it. Are you serious?
The recycling bin is RIGHT NEXT to the bin you just used.
So we managed to toss ALL of the garbage in one bin and left one empty for them. This morning I was walking Karim outside to see if they took the trash out. They did, but just their bin instead of both. They left ours there, after we cleaned their mess and made room for them. Neighbors are so annoying. I'd rather live far away from people.
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Stuff like that reminds me of the village I grew up in. In our case it was parking spots in front of your own house. Although no licences were issued (heck it's not even possible) some neighbors wouldn't talk to each other again after petty squabbles ran their course.

I'm talking adult around their 40's / 50's who would wait in front of their window to check leaving cars so they could park their own cars a few spots closer. In addition to having plenty room for all cars (at the time) our street wasn't even that big so the issue wasn't the distance. In their own eyes they were a small act of retribution to people who slighted them.

*retribution sounds way to epic to discribe a childish squabble
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My stepdad decided to write "VOTE BREXIT PARTY LEAVE MEANS LEAVE" on my polling card (I'm a vocal Remain voter, though for reasons that are probably obvious I avoid discussing this topic with my parents).

I mean, I've known he was an absolute piece of shit for about 7 years, but this sure doesn't help his case.
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Lind wrote:
My stepdad decided to write "VOTE BREXIT PARTY LEAVE MEANS LEAVE" on my polling card (I'm a vocal Remain voter, though for reasons that are probably obvious I avoid discussing this topic with my parents).

I mean, I've known he was an absolute piece of shit for about 7 years, but this sure doesn't help his case.


Ugh that's disgusting and I'd want to say possibly illegal somehow. Not even a dignified Brexiteer that I'm told exist. I'd say just vandalise his in return but it doesn't fix your situation. You got my sympathies man.
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I am honestly losing all hope at a fast pace. Even ignoring that the world around me is rapidly going to shit, my own life is just falling apart.

Things were bad enough even before I fractured my spine, but then that happened and things got even worse. I went into arrears because my company bungled my sick pay, and now including interpersonal debts I owe around £2000 - and I'm only on a £20k annual salary. Even then the sick pay was statutory, so it was maybe a fifth of what I would have actually made had I been capable of working.

Adding on to that I'm in a job role that is expected to cease existence in August, meaning I need to find new work pronto. This is made extremely difficult by my mental health being in the fucking gutter. I've suffered with that fun little combination of Aspergers, ADHD, Chronic Depression, and Anxiety my whole life, and let me tell you it has been a huge struggle to even get myself to the point of barely functioning the way I do. Trying to manage a career in those circumstances is difficult even on my better days.

This would be made so much easier if I had anything resembling a decent support system, but let me just say in no uncertain terms that my family are all either absolutely reprehensible wastes of space, or suffering just as much as I am, with no middle ground. My brother has completely isolated himself, and almost never leaves his rom - not that I can blame him, since our stepdad abuses him even worse than he does me. My nephew recently attempted suicide multiple times. My second eldest sister has been barely coping with depression having raised two neurodivergent children (both in radically different ways) as a single mother for years. These are the family members I like. The rest of them all either actively take part in abuse or intentionally ignore it.

This latest incident is far from the worst that's ever happened, but the sheer violation I feel for my polling card having been vandalized has really just tipped me over the edge. (As a side note, the worst thing he's ever done was probably smashing glass at my feet and ordering me to walk through it. Probably. There's a lot of competition in that department and I can't remember every evil thing he's done in the last seven years).

The only way I'm getting back out of this house is by either getting a new job or resigning myself to homelessness again.

I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do and it hurts.
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Lind wrote:
I am honestly losing all hope at a fast pace. Even ignoring that the world around me is rapidly going to shit, my own life is just falling apart.

Things were bad enough even before I fractured my spine, but then that happened and things got even worse. I went into arrears because my company bungled my sick pay, and now including interpersonal debts I owe around £2000 - and I'm only on a £20k annual salary. Even then the sick pay was statutory, so it was maybe a fifth of what I would have actually made had I been capable of working.

Adding on to that I'm in a job role that is expected to cease existence in August, meaning I need to find new work pronto. This is made extremely difficult by my mental health being in the fucking gutter. I've suffered with that fun little combination of Aspergers, ADHD, Chronic Depression, and Anxiety my whole life, and let me tell you it has been a huge struggle to even get myself to the point of barely functioning the way I do. Trying to manage a career in those circumstances is difficult even on my better days.

This would be made so much easier if I had anything resembling a decent support system, but let me just say in no uncertain terms that my family are all either absolutely reprehensible wastes of space, or suffering just as much as I am, with no middle ground. My brother has completely isolated himself, and almost never leaves his rom - not that I can blame him, since our stepdad abuses him even worse than he does me. My nephew recently attempted suicide multiple times. My second eldest sister has been barely coping with depression having raised two neurodivergent children (both in radically different ways) as a single mother for years. These are the family members I like. The rest of them all either actively take part in abuse or intentionally ignore it.

This latest incident is far from the worst that's ever happened, but the sheer violation I feel for my polling card having been vandalized has really just tipped me over the edge. (As a side note, the worst thing he's ever done was probably smashing glass at my feet and ordering me to walk through it. Probably. There's a lot of competition in that department and I can't remember every evil thing he's done in the last seven years).

The only way I'm getting back out of this house is by either getting a new job or resigning myself to homelessness again.

I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do and it hurts.


I know this is the Vent Station so replying to a specific vent is a bit of a no-no, so ignore it if you just meant to get this stuff off your chest. I found myself at another low point in my life around a year ago, but for the past 6 months things are changing for the better so maybe its of some use to you.

The thing is: when multiple problems are bogging you down the best way to tackle them is taking them on 1 at the time. Not only is this the fastest way to produce tangible results, but mentally you will get some calm that things get better if you keep going at the pace you're at. Be aware of your problem and keep track of your progress.

When taking this approach it is important to think about the order you solve your problems in. From this post I gather the most important ones are:
Health (mental and physical) , Work / income and trouble within Family/home.

It's up to you to decide what your priorities are, identify the problems asociated with them and figuring out ways to solve them. Here is a personal example:
Problem: Workshifts start at 16.00 and ended at 00.30 (at the earliest). This resulted in a sleep schedule where I would go to bed around 05.00 AM and sleep till 12 PM.
Effects: Pretty much didn't see any sun since I didn't leave my home except for work and groceries and couldn't socialise with friends or family since I would be sleeping or working during their free time (Also worked Saturdays which didn't help). This situation was draining my mental stability.
Solution: Go to bed around 03.00 and waking up around 10.00 AM, consciously go outside for 30 minutes during daytime and actively contact a few friends and family I wanted to see.
Eventually I also changed to a morning shift (later I changed jobs altogether) and started planning things to contact the people I wanted to see regularly.

The thing is this: Nothing in this world comes for free and unless you are really fortunate someone else won't solve your problems. Work on improving things yourself step by step and don't be afraid to call on help from people you trust.
(This is why I like anime like Dragonball Z or Hajime no Ippo so much, which are centered around the theme 'growth through struggle'. This mentality was a big help to motivate myself).


I wish you the best of luck overcoming your struggles.
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Why do I have to justify it when I call in sick for work? Why am I being made out to feel guilty for 'daring' to be sick? Especially since I was previously told, "If you are sick, stay home". Yes, I know that it can be inconvenient when an employee calls out several hours before their shift, but... well, that can happen! People get sick, and usually it's not at a convenient time. And having this hypocritical reaction to my calling out ahead of time, instead of going into work sick, realizing I am in no condition to work anymore and having to go home early... I don't get it...

Also, I think I can't deny it anymore. I am back to having fallen into a heavy depression.
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Should check your work policy on it. Where I work you aren't obligated to explain the reason you are off sick.

Sick days can be used for depression and anxiety issues too so if you need the time off there maybe check that out with your doctor.
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Pierre wrote:
Should check your work policy on it. Where I work you aren't obligated to explain the reason you are off sick.

Sick days can be used for depression and anxiety issues too so if you need the time off there maybe check that out with your doctor.


Yeah, that's even protected by law here that you don't need to explain yourself when you're sick (with the exception being a work related incident made you sick). At my current and previous job that's also the case, but some companies who do things 'old fashioned' might try to coax you into giving an explanation (and getting you back on the workfloor ASAP). Although calling in sick too many times and not explaining yourself usually results in getting the boot in the long run.


Also you can use sick days when you are depressed and riddled with anxiety, a short-term reprieve isn't gonna help much in dealing with long-term problems. Personally, when I was going through my struggle I started working 4 days instead of 5 but that didn't solve much. I wasn't overworked but I couldn't bring myself to do more since the 4 day salary was plenty to get by (but not enough to put some money on the side).The extra day off didn't solve any of my real problems.


A good first step is to talk honestly about the troubles you experience and how it makes you feel. I recommend doing this with a close friend, but if you're afraid to talk about it with people you know an anonymous online forum could be a reasonable substitute. From there you can plan out a first step to take.
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I more meant in the sense of, "Can you still try to come in, despite your debilitating migraine?" and "At least try".
Like, no. What part of 'debilitating' means I can do a job for 8 hours? Especially one that involves a lot of standing and bending down (dizzy), and staring at computer screens (light sensitivity)? Could I have gone into work? I could have... but that doesn't mean I would have been capable of doing any work.

I don't know what I'm doing now. I'm gonna talk to my doc, to see if she can prescribe me pills (I think I have some lying around, but they are at least 2 years old, so I don't know how well they might work or how good of an idea that is) to at least even me out a little. I also sent an application for a different job, but I'm not sure I really wanna change jobs... but this job does seem to be messing with my mental health.
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Really wouldn't advise taking old medication. Should definitely see your doctor. Might be able to write you a sick line for a longer period of time off for mental health too.
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I went to the psychiatrist today, on a last effort to make sense out of myself and my situation. I told the doc about all my problems... I was very sincere and candid. I told her I was fed up with psychiatrists and psychologists in general. Told her I don’t like the idea of taking meds, don’t think they have a solution, and my family basically forced me to go there. Told her I’m a mess, temperamental, don’t finish what I start, have obsessive interests and act impulsively from time to time.

She agreed with the assessment of the previous psychiatrist that I am bipolar, but she thinks I am likely a classic type I rather than a type II, and believes I have more manic traits than depressive traits. I think it makes sense. In fact, I told her I don’t think depression is a major issue for me at all 85% of the times. I only become depressed for short periods of time - like some few days and weeks - after I fuck up because of my core problems related to anxiety, impulsivity, lack of discipline and moodiness. These are my “essential” problems.

Also, besides the bipolar diagnosis, she believes I may have some few comorbid ADHD traits. She doesn’t believe I need to take meds for this, but it is something she wants to investigate more as we continue with the treatment.

I am kind of nervous about taking this mood stabilizer she prescribed, though (Depakote). A little scared of its potential side effects, and at the same time afraid of it not making any difference at all. But who knows... it may be a “magic pill”. My life can change for the better if I give it a chance. So let’s see.
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What are the scary side effects?

I once had a client who took a mood stabiliser for bipolar symptoms and they said they seemed to work pretty well.
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Depakote is one of the strongest anti-manic meds out there, probably second only to Lithium. It has all kinds of side effects... I could list trillions here, the most common ones being nausea and dizziness and the worst case scenario one being liver complications.

The only two reasons I’m taking a shot at it is, 1) I wouldn’t take any medication in the world ever if I always thought about worst case scenario side effects and 2) the psychiatrist was so good and professional, she actually convinced me it is worth it to give the mood stabilizer a try.

The psychiatrist asked a lot about my family’s historic of mental health complications... I told her my father is on the autism spectrum, and she was like “Aha”. It’s apparently common for families with a history of Autism to have BP kids, and vice-versa. I would never imagine it, because I’m like so the opposite of my father in every way.

Update: It’s my first day taking Depakote and I’m weirdly calm. I don’t want to be too happy because it could be a Placebo effect or something, but damn... I always expected anti-anxiety meds to make me feel like this, and they never did. It’s like I don’t have more background noise in my head. Very relaxed, almost like someone is giving me a brain massage. Let’s see where this goes.
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Yeah I think my supervisor once said that parental effects could some into play via modelling. Whereby if the parents had difficulties maintaining moods and reacting appropriately it could become difficult for the children to manage their life in the same way resulting in bipolar symptoms.

Still nice to know the medication seems to be working.
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Thelema wrote:
Update: It’s my first day taking Depakote and I’m weirdly calm. I don’t want to be too happy because it could be a Placebo effect or something, but damn... I always expected anti-anxiety meds to make me feel like this, and they never did. It’s like I don’t have more background noise in my head. Very relaxed, almost like someone is giving me a brain massage. Let’s see where this goes.


Very nice. Remain vigilant about the side-effects as wel as your health and see how this treatment treats you works out for you.


As I was refilling my car coolant reservoir tank I noticed the cap was already off, so I have been driving for about a month with an open reservoir tank.
Probably forgot to screw it back on during the previous refill, which is a stupid and possible damaging mistake.


Nothing foreign has entered the tank so far (have been driving without problems), but I ordered a new cap online and tonight I'll see if it fits.
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Okay, two weeks after Depakote I can say I’m probably the best I’ve ever been in terms of mood and self-control (at least, I don’t remember feeling this good/with a clear head like this in the past 5 years). The only noticeable side effect thus far is the lack of appetite during the first 4 hours after I take the pill, which doesn’t bother me all that much.

Anyway, this goes for anyone who is keeping their problems to themselves: don’t do that. Seriously. Some psychological issues are less severe, and can be solved by seeking therapy, friendly advice or making lifestyle changes. If this is your case, seek this kind of help. If you believe your case may be more severe (like mine is) and on the pathological side, don’t hesitate to seek a psychiatrist’s help (and a good one at that). Tell them about everything that is bothering you, including things that make you ashamed, or things you hate to admit. Don’t hide or sugarcoat anything.

I wish I had done this sooner, honestly.
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The cap for the tank came and it fitted like a charm which is nice, but i'm still miffed that I had to wait 15 days, which should have been standard: order today, delivered tomorrow kinda deals.

Turn out the barcode got damaged which is why It got lost at the postal office. Took a while for them to return the package to sender which is why it got lost in postal limbo.
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So the American election cycle’s getting into gear again (yes, I think our campaign “season” is too long, too). I imagine we’ll see political discussions on the forum from time to time as a result, and I am not looking forward to the headaches those might lead to for me and other staff members (some of you might have already witnessed one such headache-inducing incident recently). We try to keep our rules politically neutral here, and we generally trust our users to keep political discussion civil, but problems still pop up. Sometimes emotions run high enough that one or more users ends up breaking the rules, for example, and sometimes a rule that’s supposed to be neutral disproportionately affects supporters of a particular ideology, leading to the staff coming off as partisan without intending to.

Banning political discussion is certainly an option, but politics has a way of seeping into even topics that are nominally apolitical. As just one example, consider the kerfuffle over Tifa’s design in the Final Fantasy VII remake. Regardless of what you might think of the new design, the people voicing their opinions on it, the arguments used in favor of or against it, and so on, I don’t think there’s any denying at this point that politics (specifically, questions of how women should be portrayed in media) found its way into the discussion. If we banned political discussion, any discussion of Tifa’s new design would have to dance around such questions--assuming fear of violating the ban didn’t outright prevent anyone from discussing her design in the first place. And all of that isn’t even getting into how politics shows up in the very art we consume, meaning that sometimes, it is flat-out impossible to discuss a particular game or other work without touching on politics.

That said, my main reason for venting right now has to do with how frustrating it is to address questions of political expression. As you (hopefully) know, we currently forbid racist, homophobic, and transphobic language and are willing to invoke “spirit of the law” if someone tries to get off on a technicality. The problems start when you consider that some political movements are by nature racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. (Nazis being perhaps the most obvious example). As such, voicing support for such movements violates the aforementioned rule. Likewise, using symbolism associated with such movements is a violation. Unfortunately, symbols can be used by people outside the movements, and we have no reliable way of discerning the intent behind any individual’s use of such symbols. Even if we did, though, unless every user were capable of doing the same, the symbols would still cause problems. Meaning no harm and doing no harm are not always the same thing, to paraphrase good old Judge Greybeard. As a result, the staff has to choose between two unattractive policies. Either we give people the benefit of the doubt and only remove proven deliberate violations of the rule, resulting in the staff allowing users to continue unintentionally making other users uncomfortable and potentially allowing deliberate violations to slip through due to lack of evidence, or we forbid the symbols regardless of intent, effectively punishing users who mean no harm over something they had no control over. It’s not Jains’ fault that Nazis adopted the swastika, for example.

Of course, this isn’t even addressing the elephant--or rather, the frog--in the room. Sadly for a lot of people on the right, Nazis and other inherently prejudiced groups have latched onto right-wing political parties and have a vested interest in posing as something other than what they are. Strictly speaking, we don’t forbid users to be Nazis. In keeping with the aforementioned “no racism” rule, though, voicing support for Nazism is forbidden. So what happens when a user uses an image that Nazis have been known to use as a dog-whistle? Yeah, we get another potential “Jain swastika” scenario, and since the aforementioned prejudiced groups have latched onto right-wing parties, this makes our rules come off as biased in favor of the left and designed to silence the right (something not exactly helped in my case by my being openly left-wing). All that from a simple “no racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. language” policy.

The rule itself and how we apply it also touch on the far broader question of when (if ever) it’s okay to restrict the way in which people may express themselves. I imagine most--if not all--of us already agree that certain forms of expression should be forbidden on this forum, though, so I’m not going to go any deeper here with regards to that question.

I know we can't please everyone, but it still bothers me immensely that people who might legitimately want to be a part of this community might feel unwelcome due to the rules. [sigh] The banhammer can feel quite heavy at times…
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That sounds rough General especially with politics affecting more and more areas these days.


What was the kerfuffle over Tifa's redesign though? Maybe I didn't look close enough but she barely seemed different in that trailer.
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Her outfit's a little different and supposedly, her breasts are also smaller. Naturally, the latter change led to some accusations of Square caving to feminists. I haven't really looked into the matter beyond that, so I don't know if Square's made any sort of official statements on the matter (personally, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't see it as serious enough to warrant a comment). Tifa's design is probably a topic better reserved for this thread, though.
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Ugh no, if that's all it is it really doesn't warrant further conversation. :Hoboright:
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Not a vent in an angry way but I'm feeling real low tonight and few friends are online so this will do.

Last week I ended my (nearly) 9 year relationship with my girlfriend. Not because we didn't love each other or had a bad time with each other, but because we wanted different things.

About November last year, she revealed she didn't want kids. It was something we talked about a year in so I thought we were good but minds can change. I wrestled with this for a long time but I couldn't shake it. If I was to have any chance of having a family I wouldn't be able to have it with her.

This might have ruined my life? I don't know. Time will tell whether this was a massive mistake or not.

What hurts me the most is the thought of how I might have hurt her though and the fear of losing her friendship. We were best friends before we got together so that connection is so precious to me. We've agreed to be friends but I'm still so worried that there will be an artificial distance between us now and that terrifies me. Losing that friendship might hit me harder than a future without kids. Especially if I threw it all away for a rare chance that I'll have something better with someone else.

Some things are ok, when we can talk like normal and I can spend time with my friends life can feel normal but some things stand out and there still remains that hollow feeling.

It's weird, it was self-respect that led me to believe that I shouldn't crush my dreams in favour of someone else's but self-respect shouldn't feel bad like this. I don't even know what to feel these days.
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Hey man, it's going to hurt … a lot and for quite some time.

Personally my break-ups have been pretty clean, but 1 of my best friends went through what your going through right now.

He went from the happiest person I know to the one who's filled with most despair when they broke up. He imagined and planned a future together and in a flash everything was over.
The guy already was an impressive drinker, but that turned pretty destructive fast. He told me that he at his lowest point was cycling (bicycle) through the city (drunk) running red lights. He didn't care if he got hit, although he wasn't quite at the point where he wanted to throw himself on the road.

It's strange, but most people I know who passed the age of 25 have experienced this low point. Myself included. Not ready to end it, but you neglect your own safety because since you don't value your own life and you seek an escape from the hurt.

I'm blessed to have friends to discuss these matters with. I stuck with them through their lows and I could knock on their door when I was experiencing mine. Talking about your fears or feelings is freeing when you've bottled them up for some time. Not only are you likely to put things into perspective more easily by talking about them, sometimes your friends give you the guidance you need to start going forward again (if your friends know you well, but that what they do).


You can only Judge for yourself whether you made right decision after the fact.
It's going to suck for a long time
Do talk to people you trust about what's eating at you.
Don't start taking (whatever) substances in excess to alliviate the pain.


Take care yourself man.
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So an update on my situation from a couple months ago. Things briefly started looking up, and then promptly nosedived hard.

The good news is that while I've been staying various places here and there, I have not had to spend another night under the same roof as my abusive stepdad.

But as of now the main place I've been staying have come to the understandable and difficult decision that I'm not going to be able to stay there much more, as they risk breaking multiple occupancy laws if I stay for an extended period.

This was the only reliable shelter I had besides the abusive household I came from. There are other places that I can stay for a night some days but without this my options are going back to my parents or sleeping rough from here out.

On top of this, my back injury has started up again, which has caused me to take an extended leave from work. Which means I'm broke! And still in debt, for that matter.

Ultimately I've had to put up with it and go back in, since my options were basically homelessness, domestic abuse, or pain. The last one is the lesser of three evils, I guess.

But in my absence I've totally failed to take care of myself and haven't really been functioning. I've been drinking near constantly and forgetting to eat for long stretches. It's taken its toll, and while I'm staying on top of myself now, this whole situation sunk me into a pretty heavy depression that, combined with the chronic pain I'm suffering from at the moment, has me barely functioning at work.

It also caused me to make some really dumb mistakes when sorting out my medical certification, and now work are considering disciplinary action for not turning in a doctor's note the day my self-certification period ended.

So in summary:
-Lost my only stable shelter
-No money
-Likely to lose my job in the next few days
-My body is failing on me

Shit's fucked and I have no idea what's going to happen to me.
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Sjibbey wrote:
Hey man, it's going to hurt … a lot and for quite some time.

Personally my break-ups have been pretty clean, but 1 of my best friends went through what your going through right now.

He went from the happiest person I know to the one who's filled with most despair when they broke up. He imagined and planned a future together and in a flash everything was over.
The guy already was an impressive drinker, but that turned pretty destructive fast. He told me that he at his lowest point was cycling (bicycle) through the city (drunk) running red lights. He didn't care if he got hit, although he wasn't quite at the point where he wanted to throw himself on the road.

It's strange, but most people I know who passed the age of 25 have experienced this low point. Myself included. Not ready to end it, but you neglect your own safety because since you don't value your own life and you seek an escape from the hurt.

I'm blessed to have friends to discuss these matters with. I stuck with them through their lows and I could knock on their door when I was experiencing mine. Talking about your fears or feelings is freeing when you've bottled them up for some time. Not only are you likely to put things into perspective more easily by talking about them, sometimes your friends give you the guidance you need to start going forward again (if your friends know you well, but that what they do).


You can only Judge for yourself whether you made right decision after the fact.
It's going to suck for a long time
Do talk to people you trust about what's eating at you.
Don't start taking (whatever) substances in excess to alliviate the pain.


Take care yourself man.


Thanks man.

I know suicide and self-destructive behaviours wouldn't help anything. If anything the biggest temptation is to go crawling back to her and just accept that my needs aren't as important or that the pain of being alone and separate is worse than the pain of relationship dissatisfaction. I'll take care of myself.
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I'm so sorry to hear that... Breakups are hard. I've only dated one other person, and a lot of you were a member here when we'd post, and the break up was pretty hard. Especially after spending 6.5 years with this person. It's gonna hurt for a while, but it's definitely not the end.
You shouldn't sacrifice your dreams or happiness to be with someone. Sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes you have to make these hard decisions to see what life has in store for you.
You'll be fine in the end, but it's okay to cry and feel hurt for a little while.
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Yeah I'm sorry to hear about both your situations. It sounds pretty rough, though I can't say much given I've never been in that situation myself. Still, hope things start looking up for you.
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Lind wrote:
So in summary:
-Lost my only stable shelter
-No money
-Likely to lose my job in the next few days
-My body is failing on me

Shit's fucked and I have no idea what's going to happen to me.



Crap man that's heavy. Maybe you could DM DoMaya since he's been in a similar situation as I recall from way back.
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They don't :c

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Don't know if this counts as a vent, but it is something that is causing me some distress and I want to express:

I miss the old CR and I hate what it's turned into. I'm sad about what it's become, I'm sad about all the good people who left, and I'm angry that it's more important to literally police speech on an Ace Attorney forum rather than keep it active. King of the ashes, etc etc.

This is probably my last time here.
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