“Alright, let’s wrap this up!” Luke exclaimed, rolling up his sleeves.

“At 3:55, Sam was up on the seventh floor cursing up a storm. He took his stuff for DnD and went down the North Elevator. 4:00 rolls around, and DnD hasn’t started yet, and he’s nowhere to be found. Why? He was too busy getting strangled to death.

“Someone must’ve stepped into the elevator when it reached the Hotel Lobby and closed the doors so nobody could see them choking Sam out. Unfortunately for them, Max had been on the Staff Floor freaking out because he almost killed Deirdre, like a fucking moron. Max called the elevator to him, so the killer needed to hide somewhere. Fortunately for them, there are escape hatches in case of an emergency at the top of the elevator cars, so they simply hopped up there and waited.

“Max, being already rattled, sees Sam’s corpse and runs for the South Elevator, allowing the killer to be able to jump back in and ride up to the seventh floor. At that point, they left that elevator and took the South Elevator back down to the lobby, so as not to place themselves near Sam’s body. They tried to cover themselves by placing themselves in the infirmary, and that person, our killer, is none other than you, Dale! Not sure why you did it, exactly, but you did it!”

Ace whistled. “Bravo, everyone! Seems like you got a pretty good handle on these High-Stakes Games. For the record, your explanation is pretty much how it happened, plus or minus a few details, but, nonetheless, you have voted correctly. Dale Fades is indeed our killer tonight, and it seems like some of you still don’t understand why he killed Sam. I’m sure some of our viewers are scratching their heads and their asses, too. So, let’s use some of this extra time to hear from Dale and all that, just like last time!”

“You did it guys,” Lucy said. “Some of you guys are really good at figuring things out. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were Ultimate Detectives!”

“Lucy, stop jerking them off,” Ace snapped.

“R-right, sorry.”

On the screen in the trial room, the contestants saw a room that looked a lot cleaner than the one Cups brutalized Jenny in. It was a white room with no windows, tables, or chairs. Dale stood in the center of the room, with both Wands, who had left the trial room after her testimony, and Jack on either side of him.

“Welcome to the Twilight Palace workplace safety video…” Jack said. “As a new employee, you are required to go through basic training to ensure you will not be a danger to yourself or others as you begin your illustrious career here…”

“That’s right,” Wands said while patting Dale on the back. “To demonstrate, we’re going to have this sweetheart over here act out a series of scenarios that you may come across as an employee at the Twilight Palace.”

A title card flashed on the screen, with the words “Part One: Heavy Lifting” written on it in comic sans.

“Our first scenario goes as follows…” Jack said, reading from a note card. He adjusted his glasses. “What do you do if you see someone carrying something heavy who needs help?

Into the frame came Wands, struggling to carry a large box. “I wasn’t designed to carry something so heavy… oh, if only there were someone here to help!”

“Ah, have no fear!” Dale said while adjusting his hat and walking over to Wands. “My good friend, I noticed you were--

Wands dropped the box.

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!” Dale screamed as the box crushed his foot.

“Oh, I’m sorry dear, let me try again,” she said. She lifted the box off of Dale’s foot, which was flattened like a pancake.

“E-Excuse me, miss. I couldn’t help but notice that--”

She dropped the box again.

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Dale screamed. Tears began welling up in his eyes as the box crushed his other foot.

“Oh, dear, I’m sorry. Let me try this one more time,” she said as she picked up the box.

“M-Miss, do you need h--”

Once more, the box fell. This time, it crushed both of his feet.

“YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCHCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” he cried out. “THIS IS ALL HORRIBLY UNSAFE, YOU STUPID BROAD! WHAT’S IN THIS THING, ANYWAY?!”

He threw his hardhat on the ground and opened the box. Inside of it were a bunch of baby Sluglings.

“What? What are you doing with a bunch of baby sluglings?!”

“Oh dear… this is not the right box at all! But you learned a lesson, didn’t you?”

“Lesson? What lesson?” Dale asked.

“Never help anyone… you will only get hurt. Helping someone is the most unsafe thing you can do…” Jack chimed in.

Another title card appeared, one that read “Part Two: Inclemate Weather.”

The room was then dark and rainy. Jack was wearing a yellow raincoat and Wands as holding an umbrella. Thunder could be heard, and Dale stood alone, shivering.

“Now… what happens if you are walking to work, and it suddenly begins to rain?”

“Easy, you get an umbrella to protect yourself from the onslaught from above,” Dale answered.

“Correct, darling, but do you know all the different types of precipitation?” Wands asked.

Dale began to count off on his fingers. “Rain, snow, hail, sleet--”

“MRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” A cow was flung into the room and nearly killed Dale, who managed to swiftly dodge the beast.

“...cow,” he finished. “I believe those are all the known types of precipitation.”

“You’re missing one.”

“I am?”

“Yes, you might want to get out your own umbrella. Check your pocket.”

Dale rummaged through his pockets and pulled out the world’s smallest umbrella. He heard a whistling coming from above, indicating something was about to come crashing down on him. He held up another sign that said “Piano…” and looked at the camera with a sense of dread and fear.

From above, a beautiful Steinway piano came down and crushed Dale to a bloody pulp. With the piano fell a bench, at which Susu the Morningstar sat. It began to play an elegant tune.

“That concludes the video,” Jack said. “If you have any questions, please don’t ask.”

The feed went black, and Dale Fades, the Ultimate Safety Officer was dead.

Dale’s money has been added to the pot! That brings the total up to $5837!

Game Champion:

Luke +$5837

Game Champion also gets +1 FTE Request in the coming chapter.

Game Scrub:

Ramon -2 Good Noodle Stars

HSG Rank: A+

LEADERBOARD

1. Ryleigh Valentina
-BP = 4
-$12950

2. Maxwell "Max" Montgomery
-BP = 1
-$10700

3. Woody Vernell
-BP = 4
-$10350

4. Luke Malley
-BP = 4
-$9587

5. μ-r10v (Myrion)
-BP = 5
-$9490

6. Adel Wagner
-BP = 3
-$7350

7. Ramon Aki
-BP = 5
-$7050

8. Roxanne "Roxie" Trudeau
-BP = 1
-$4725

9. Tsubasa Hirabayashi
-BP = 2
-$4550

10. Great Dragon
-BP = 1
-$2550

11. Devin Lewellen
-BP = 1
-$2400

12. Ruby Colyer
-BP = 3
-$2100

13. Deirdre Durand
-BP = 6
-$1800

14. Dale Fades (DECEASED)
-BP = 2
-$0

15. Samuel "Sam" Lockmeister (DECEASED)
-BP = 0
-$0

16. Jennifer Wolfe (DECEASED)
-BP = 1
-$0