I am intriged (did I spell that right?) by this, what was it? Waffle song? Do explain.

---

Well, instead of posting the first episode of TMOMF, I'm going to recreate a stupid scene in a famous movie with a stupid Phoenix Wright plot twist.
----
Don't let go!
I'll never let go. *Lets go*
You just let go when you said you'd never let go! That's a direct contridiction to the statement!

---

The waffle song will be explained in due time, but if you wish to hunt it down, search in Present Evidence and find a topic of mine, then things will be clear for you young padawan.

---

Instant gold.

---

ShyTenda Presents an off the wall funny:
MAYA THE RIDE

Ready?
Ready!
What are those two up to?
*gulp*
Maya, are you nuts? You ate Pearls!
Pearly and I are making a documentary!
Where's the camcorder?
Here it is! *gulp*
Does she have any idea where she will end up?
Hee hee! That tickles, Pearly!
Just leaving my tag. I'm ready to go further now, Mystic Maya!
Good grief! Turn back already!
*rumblerumble*
Oh no! The walls are shaking!
BUUUUUUUUURP! *Pearl comes flying out*
Waaah!
Pearls! Are you OK?
I left the camcorder inside Mystic Maya!
...
See me in the morning.

---

[Oh noes another Edgey Alone Time joke!]

"I was mas--"
"We don't need to know that. THAT'S MY RULE!"
"I was masticating a nice juicy medium rare steak drowned in steak sauce with a side order of a Caesar salad and a nice glass of red wine..."
"WHAT?! And all I had was coffee from Starbucks?! You suck!"

---

Oh, EZ. Oh, EZ. Oh, EZ. Yes.

I rember that from an comic I saw back when I had Nickalodeon Magazine, what was that?

---

Yes, that was a Spongebob comic I found in a comic collection issue.
Spongebob
Patrick
Squidward
It was drawn very stylized. If you have your old issues I suggest you look for it.

---

Welcome to Fox and Friends news. Your Fair and Balanced news center.

...

AHAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! AHA! HAAAHAHA!

AAAhhh... Well, now that the joke segment's over, time for our first guest, JoeP, with his new book "Faux News: A Thrilling Expose of the Terrible Underground of Turnabout News ...I mean, besides the horrible stuff they do ON air."

(JoeP) Yeah, hi.

So, uh, so what's your book about?

(JoeP) ...Uh, don't you think that's kind of Self-Explainitory?

Yeah, Bush IS great, isn't he?

(JoeP) Uh-um, while I agree with you, that's not what I-

You never DID get around to explaining your book.

(JoeP) No duh! You kept interrupting me!

'Interrupting' is a strong word.

How about... 'Asserting'?

(JoeP) ...No, I don't think that's the right-

So what are your thoughts on Immigration?

(JoeP) Look, I came here to discuss my book, a-

Blahblahblahblah Left Wing blahblahblahblah Flag Pin blahblahblahblahblah NAMBLA blahblahblahblahblahblah Ann Coulter blahblahblahblahblahblahblah Fruit Preservatives blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah Magna Karta blahblahblah-

(JoeP) WOULD YOU ALL JUST... SHUT UP!!!!!

You know, you COULD have just asked instead of being so rude.

(JoeP) BUT I DI-

Let's go over to our Fox News Weather Center!

(JoeP) NO, WAIT, I-

Sun... Cloudy... Sixty-five degrees... Midwest... Ohio Valley region... go to our weather map...


Three hours later...

Back... to you.

Noah?

(JoeP) zzzz... hm, Huh Wha?

Good, you're awake!

(JoeP) Yeah. *YAWN* I am. Will you let me talk about my book now?

Oh, you wrote a book? Where is it?

(JoeP) Well, I've been using it as a pillow... It seems to have no other feasible use here.

Well, why didn't you just tell us you had one?

(JoeP) I DID! GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Touchy, touchy. When did you say THIS, then?

(JoeP) Three.... HOURS.... ago.... Look. I came here, I wanted to talk about my book. You babbled at me, you interrupted me, one of you kicked me in the shin, I had to sit through three hours of WEATHER, and I find out you're a bunch of... Alzheimer's TV hosts. Can I JUST... Plug my book?

Why? We have a commercial with all it's aspects.

(JoeP) ...Screw it. I hope you all get AIDS. *leaves*

...Hm. ...Coming up next, we got Coulter on again! So now's a good time to drop a deuce!

---

Wow, it's like watching the real thing.....Wait! You forgot "blahblahblahBillO'Reily!"

Why don't girls like me, Nick? Who wouldn't want to be Mrs. Butz?
(I just don't have the heart to tell him.)

---

Now for the first episode of THE MELANCHOLY OF MAYA FEY!...BTW, I am skipping the first episode of Haruhi because it has no point.
----
You open seeing a shot of snow or something falling, then cut to bike spokes turning.
(Asking someone how long they believed in Santa Clause is so meaningless that it wouldn't even serve as useless gossip. Regardless, if you're going to ask me how much of my childhood I spent believing in an old man in a red suit I can confidently say that I never believed in him in the first place. I knew that the Santa at the preschool event was a fake. I didn't even have to see mommy kissing Santa Clause. I suppose I was just a precocious child who questioned the existence of an old man who only worked on Christmas. At any rate, be it aliens, time travelers, ghost, demons, espers, or evil organizations and the heros out of comics or cartoons who battle them, I didn't realize they weren't real until some time later. No, I had probably realized the truth. I just didn't want to admit it. Deep in my heart, I wished that aliens, time travelers, ghosts, demons, espers, or evil organizations might pop up in front of me. However, reality is cruel! One must admire how well the laws of physics are written. At some point, I stopped being glued to TV UFO specials and shows on psychics. Aliens. Time travelers. Espers. None of those could possibly exist. Though I kind of wished they did. So I suppose my ability to hold convictions while accepting reality is a sign that I've matured. As I graduated from middle school I also graduated from those childish dreams and became accustomed to the routine of this world. And so I entered high school with no particular vision in mind and met her.)
*Stands up at her desk (Right behind Nick's) in a classroom* From East Middle School. Maya Fey. I have no intrest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time travelers, sliders, or espers here, come join me. That is all!
(Are we supposed to laugh? A striking beauty stood before me. Most people would think she was just joking. In hindsight, that was niether a joke or a laughin matter. Maya was always dead serious. And so we met. I derely hope I can believe it was mere coincidence.)
*Insert theme song*
(As long as Maya Fey was sitting still with her mouth shut, one would believe she was just a beautiful high schooler. And since my seat happened to be located right in front of hers, I figured it might be acceptible to approach her. You can't blame me for losing my mind for a moment.) *Turns to look at Maya* Hey. About the introduction and stuff earlier...How much of it was serious?
......
......
What stuff earlier?
Well, you know, the stuff about aliens and whatnot.
Are you an alien?
No, but...
No, but what?
No, forget it.
Then don't talk to me.
It's a waste of time.
----
If you're interested in her, I won't mince words. Give up on her. I know. I was in the same class as her for three years in middle school. Her queerness takes a path like none has ever seen.
You mean her introduction?
Yep. She did a bunch of strange things back in middle school too. The most famous one would be the campus grounds graffiti.
What's that?
TO BE CONTINUED BECAUSE I'M TIRED!

---

(Somewhere in Germany after DL-6)
Welcome to your new home imperfection.
Must you call me that?
Yes.
All there is here is just goats and beer.
SHUT UP! Drink your medicine.
but thats beer.
Your sister drinks it.
*runs by naked* whooo!
Fine. *takes a sip*
(five seconds later)
And the Blue Man Group! Don't even get me started! *passes out*

---

Hey little girl, wanna play with a real murder weapon?
Sure Mr. Scruffy Detective.
*Holds pistol in hands and accedentally shoots Edgeworth*
What the f@#k!?
Yay! I learned a new word!
(later)
Hey, Mr. Nick!
What!? I am very busy right now!
Nick, come back to bed.
Hold on! What is it?
I learned a new word!
Really? Which one?
F@#k!
Where did you hear that!?
Mr. Ed-gey-Worth.
EDGEWORTH!!!!!!!
What!? I am very busy!
Come back to bed fool.
NO! All you're going to do is whip me!
So?
What is it you wanted?
*punches Edgeworth*

*looks at Pearl* Oh and you taught her a word she shouldn't say!
Which one!?
Tell him Pearls.

What?
*punches Phoenix in the face* Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to mine and Franziska's alone time.
You did Franziska!? Isn't she like your sister?
Isn't Maya like your cousin?
No.

Gotta go!
That was annoying.
Nick come back to bed.
Coming!
Can I come?
No.
Why?
I'll show you when you're eighteen.
*bursts through window* I'll show you right now!
What are you doing here!?
I whach you in your sleep.
I don't have time for this.
*walks into bedroom and sees Maya with *
What the-!
I thought it was you!
I am him, but from the future.
Works for me! *continue*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And that's how I became a hobo.
That is the dumbest one yet.

---

A GLOWY BOX! A GLOWY BOX!
A glowy box? Are you sure that's what you want for your tattoo?
IT'S PERSONAL!

---

PHOENIX IS A BAD GUY, BAD GUY, BAD GUY!

---

SCIENCE AGAIN! I SAID SCIENCE AGAIN!
Stop making fun of Ema and her :O button!
What about her :H buttons?
Those are fine.

---

Homestar Runner.

---

And now for another funny I totally ganked from somewhere or other:

I have to pick out a birthday card for Larry! But it's gotta feel just right. Let's see...
Happy Birthday
Too plain. Next!
Have a Hippo Hoppy Heppy Happy Birthday!
Hoo Boy. Next!
Hope your birthday is TEErific! Throw yourself a PARty!
Too golfy. And dumb. Next!
Wishing you nice things and nice feelings on your nice birthday.
Too nice. Next!
HEY. It's your BIRTHDAY. You'd better enjoy it.
Ouch. Next!
Hey birthday boy...you deserve a special treat.
Too sexual. Next!
mew!
Obvious exploitation of the cuteness of kittens. Next!
From the moment we first met, you've been the one I call my friend. You. You are the one. Happy birthday to the best friend anyone could ask for.
Too long. Next!
I hope your birthday cake doen't taste like plain cold tofu!
ghhgh. Next!
There's only one left. It'll have to do.
Later
Here you go, Larry.
Happy Birthday. Here's some money.
It's perfect! Thank you!

---

Man, I have that experience everytime I go to the store to go buy birthday cards for someone. Keyly, the part with kitten is so true. Man, I'm so gonna think of this next to I got birthday card shopping.

(Strategydom) Well, seeming as I can't think of any funnies, I've decided to hold a recruitment program. Okay, well, there's the first audition.

Hi.

(Strategydom) Okay, who let the damn kid in?

He's the first audition, sir.

(Strategydom) Okay, then. Well, what makes you think you can participate in one of my funnies?

Funnies? I thought this was to participate in the Steel Samurai movie!

(Strategydom) Oh damn, another fanboy. Oh, well, in the dungeon.

*trapdoor opens underneath* Ahh!

Time for some fun, kiddy!

MOMMMY!

(Strategydom) Well, while Damon's raping Cody, time for our second contestant. What makes you think you can become a funny participant?

Well, I am a fabulous magician, and therefore conclude that I am to become a fabulously fabulous member of one of your funnies!

...

(Strategydom): Okay...pssh, Derek, who's this idiot?

He's a magician from the Berry Bg Circus, the one who Acro accused for Russell Berry's murder.

Wahhh!

(Strategydom) Well, Derek, install a wheelchair ramp in here, please.

*Acro comes flying down the ramp and smashes Max's head in with a bust.*

(Strategydom) Thank God he's gone. Next!

Well, I...

(Strategydom) NEXT!

Shall I sta-

(Strategdom) NEXT!

BRADLEY-BOO! BRA--

(Strategydom) NEXT!

Um, sir, you're sending away all the contestants, sir.

(Strategydom) WTF! YOU'RE CONTRADICTING ME? SEND IN THE HOUNDS!

Tonight. You. Tomorrow night. You. The next night. You.

Oh, crap. *runs off, with Missile in pursuit*

Why, hello.

(Strategydom) It's okay, Dollie. I'll see you in the break. NEXT!

I don't understand all this funny business. Back in my day, the only way you could laugh was if a poorly-animated characted, dropped a safe on your head. Also, what is this forum business? The only way you could chat to people back in my way was if you got of your fat asses, and --BANG!

*Oldbag dies*

Sorry. It just had to be done. *runs off*

(Strategydom) Thanks, Marshall. NEXT!

LOVE LOVE GUILTY!

(Strategydom) When exactly did I ask for a band?

I can answer that.

*Flashback, in some office*

(Strategydom)Must...resist...temptation to buy yuri comics...on internet...

Um...S-sir...

(Strategydom) Ben, I'm busy ordering yuri...I mean...official papers on the internet!

Um, do you want Garyuu Wave to perform at our show?

(Strategydom) *looking at preview* Whatever. Must...resist...looking...

*End flashback*

And that's what happened.

(Strategydom) WHATTT!!!!!!!??????

There's something else you ordered...

Yes, there is.

You sure you want to ask?

You ordered a drunken yaoi orgy...

(Strategydom) I'm leaving. *leaves*

So am I. *leaves*

ORGY TIME!!!

AHHH!!!

The End....

Created by Strategydom
Produced by Strategydom
Co-Produced by Strategydom
Wrote by Strategy--






Why didn't I get a part in this?

Nobody cares a bit about you. Know, why can't this funny just end?

The End (for real, now)

---

Last edited by Strategydom on Sat Oct 27, 2007 7:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sorry if that was rubbish.

---

Razetora: *playing T&T*
OBJECTION!
RazeTora: EEK! MOM! I JUST HEARD SAMUEL L. JACKSON...BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM!!
(srsly, every time he objects..)

--------
Wow, I almost lost for a second there, but I pulled through at the last minute as usual.
Wright, really, there is no attorney that can match your low skill level.
(Meanwhile)
Congratulations, Apollo, you passed the Bar exams.
AWRIGHT! BREAK OUT THE APPLE JUICE!
--------
Odeko-kun (Naem paradox o no), you're kinda slow aren't you?
I AM NOT!
.....*smack*
*oblivious*.....
5..4..3..2..1....
OWWWW!! YOU JUST HIT ME!
--------
So Nick, what happened? Why'd the courts call you here?
I dunno, but it can't be good...
Mr. Wright, we have asessed that you deserve a rais----
YOU CAN'T FIRE ME! I QUIT!
Erm....We were going to---
I'M OUTTA HERE!
--
And that's why I'm a hobo.
No offense, sir, but you invite me into your cardboard box every day on my way home from work, give me beer saying it's grape juice, and tell me a different story every day, always ending with "..and that's why I'm a hobo." I'm going to stop coming by here if you don't leave me alone.
Hmmph. Picky, picky. Fine. Go get me a bagel and I'll make my stories consistent.
Eugh...Hey, do you know about a pink-shirted fellow who tells people about....private matters when he's bored? An acquaintince of mine keeps running into him
Uh..No...
(Later)
I think they're onto us. Why can't we just get therapists? I don't like being a hobo.
Shut up, you. I'm not wasting money to talk to some idiot with a Ph.D
-----

TAKE US TRICK OR TREATING, MR. NICK :D

No, you already have enough shugah.

You spelled that wrong.

-----------

And that's how I became a hobo.

TAKE ME TRICK OR TREATING, MR. WRIGHT :D

I never went trick or treating...

HEY KIDS, I HEARD SHUGAH

ORLY

YAH RLY

Wow, Wright, I feel sooo good after drinking that grayp j00s...

SUPERFANTABULUSHROAG

Ohkay, kids, lets go trick or treating in the year 2016 :O

NO WAI

I HEARD SHUGAH

ME TOOOOOOOOOO

::RAIDS GANT'S HOUSE::

You shouldn't eat Gant's candy...

HELLO EVERYONE :D

HEY, MY KID TRAP WORKS :D

I AINT NO KID DX

NOW YOU ARE :D

BEEEF

I HEARD SHUGAH

I AMZ SPELLINGZ NERDZ. SPELZORS THINGS WRIGHTS DX

--------------

And that's how I became a hobo.

GO AWAY

---

Speaking of trick or treating, let's have a Halloween episode!
Who the crap are you?
It's me, Elias. I'm in my costume.
You're going this Halloween as Kyle Hyde?
Not really, but it was this, or make a Jimmy Hopkins smiley, or have two of you in this funny.
Touch'e.
So, who wants to go trick or treating? WHat about you two?
Trick or treating? Only little kids do that.
Yeah. Anyone older than us who wants to go trick or treating is an idiot.
*Bursts in out of nowhere* DID I HEAR THAT WE'RE GOING TRICK OR TREATING?
....point taken.
You do know that it's not even Halloween for another four or five days, right?
Yeah, but I'll be busy dressing up as you or Jimmy and playing security at a little festival at the local park...I wanna beat people up dressed as you, just because it'd be awesome. Anyways...So, are we going or not?
....Sure, what the heck. Might as well.

TO BE CONTINUED

---

This came to me in a dream:
He has DESU.
DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU!
Would you get out of here?
But it's my forum...
I'm just here for the food!

---

Umm... Just a quick question. Where did the "Gant Rape Time" joke come from?

---

So, who are you going as, Pearls?

I'm going as YOU, Mr. NICK :3

Um, Ohkay

How about you, Maya?

I'm going as EDGEWORTH :D

BUT WHY

PHOENIX X EDGEWORTH, OF CORSE :'D

DID I HEAR PHOENIX X EDGEWORTH

You most certainly did :D

I LOVE that paring <3

WHAT?

YEAH, it's such a cute paring...

Ummm... you do know...

It's based off of a video game called PHOENIX WRIGHT! It's just like you're name!

...

Yeah, but that character acts nothing like you...

YOUR SO BORING ::runs away crying::

TAKE ME WITH YOU :D

::runs off together on a horse name thursday and return three days later on thursday::

Umm... well...

Hey, Judge, who are you going as?

I'm cosplaying as the judge from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney!

... but why?

Because he's cool!

...

Man, you're so lame. That judge is SOOO stupid.

Kind of reminds me of you, Mr. Judge.

WAHHHHH ::runs off with and ::

You guys make me cry.

Inside?

Outside.

-----

AND THAT'S HOW I BECAME A HOBO

Where were the children?

GET ON WITH IT

-----

::back to the story::

Who's neighborhood should we trick or treat in?

MINE

NO MINE

LET'S FIGHT

I HAVE CANDY, CHILDREN

My specticles detect a contradiction.

SPELLING ERROR

LET'S RUN AWAY

::runs away to a different neighborhood::

::LATER::

::rings doorbell::

HELLO?

TRICK OR TREAT!

Aww, what cute costumes. Here, have all my defense badges.

Umm... where did you get those?

From all the defense attorneys I killed.

Should I run?

MAYBE

4TH GRADE SUCKED ::runs::

----------

And you see, after that, I found a cardboard box to live in, some grayp j00s, and some nice specticles and a bad razor, and so I lived off of the candy that I stole from Edgeworth's house untill Gant took me in as a pet and I ran away and--

I hate you.

I love you too <3

ODOROKI X HOBOHODO? :D

------

::after reading:: THIS SUCKS. I COULD NOT LAUGH DX

---

Alright kiddies!!! Settle down! Its time for another story from my magical collection of stories! They are stories that are full of magic!....... I said settle down.

Untie me or so help me I'll....

Can I please cover up Mr. G-G-Gant???

Oh boy!!!! No!!! Now shall we begin?

Ahem! Maybe you didn't hear me the first time but...

And now for today's wonderful story!!! I have entitled this pretty little number: The Ol' Switcheroo!

I said....

Once upon a time, there was a very handsome man in blue. He called himself a defense attorney. His shiny raven black locks pointed back like the bristles of a hedgehog. His handsome blue...uh... black eyes glistened in the sunlight. His soft pouty lips...

WOAH!!! Is this a story or some kind of fanfic written by you? I don't know about you guys but there is no way I wanna hear about...

I feel cold in all the wrong places...

*ignoring them* .... his big buff and masculine chest was full of sex appeal. His washboard abs were so firm. Just one little feel of his glorious...

GET ON WITH THE PLOT PLEASE!!!!

Fine.... have it your way.....

*in the story*

Ahh... what a beautiful day! Clear sky, no dead victims, no clients, my wallet is full, and no one has made fun of my crazy hairdo.

*running down the street* NICK!!! Whats up?!?

There goes my day of fun...

What?

Nothing. How are you Maya?

I am super sensational, extra spectacular, marvelous magical, ME!

So what are you on?

Oh Nick, you are so silly!!! I just came to town today to see you!

Oh really now???

Yes.

Uh huh.

Yep...

right....

uh.... yea...

So...uh....

Well...... um....

*out of story*

THIS STORY IS GOING NO WHERE!!!!

EH??? What??? I'm sorry! There was this marvelous illustration of Wrighto in my story book and I guess I just kinda drooled off there.

At least some underwear would be nice....

BACK TO THE STORY! Our sexy eligible bachelor and his homely looking friend made their way to a science exhibit!

Why???

If you'd pay attention to the story, you would know why....

But you didn't....

SILENCE!!!!

*back to the story*

Why in the heck are we here at some freakin' science exhibit???

Isn't it obvious?

No....

Well, it isn't to me either....

........

Ok, I wanted to see some moo cows.

Moo cows???

Yeah... you know..... MMMMmoooooooooooooooooooooooo cows.

Those live on a farm...

Yeah?

And we are at a science exhibit.

And your point is???

Forget it, I want to head home.

NO!!! We are checking out the brain switcher device thingy!!! I will switch my brain with you and do all sorts of naughty things to you.

What??? They have something like that here??? And what sort of naughty things?

Oh you know, like fixing up that atrocious hair do.... finding you some better clothes to wear...

Ok......

*grabs Phoenix's hand* LET'S GO!!!

*out of story*

What in holy cravat's name is this story??? Sci-Fi??? I have never heard of such a thing.

Its non-fiction my Worthy!!! For guessing correctly, you get a kiss.

SNAPPERDOODLES!!!! What did I do???? Untie me!!!

I love them when they are fiesty.

B-B-But.... I'm interested in the story.... good sir...

Really? Well in that case, lets continue!!!!

Phew.

And Worthy, tonight we will continue.... *wink wink*

Reason number 230,458,987 why I am emo.

*back to story*

So here we are... in the mind switcharoo place thingamajig room.

Oh don't worry Nick! I'll change back with you eventually!

Whatever....

Must........devour.......living.........flesh.......

Holy crap! A talking cat!!!

Holy crap! A hungry cat!

.........

What? You couldn't hear his stomach growling?

And as a doctor... I fully endorse this product. 100% guarantee.

And about the waffles? Does it give me waffles???

No, but this device will let you switch minds with a waffle, allowing you to become.... a waffle.

Sweet!!! Now I can truly live up to my name as Teh Waffleman!!!! HOOK ME UP!!!

No... your ambitions are stupid. Wouldn't you rather switch your mind with a pretty woman so you could see yourself naked or be some pathetic treat that may get eaten?

........uh, could you gimme a hint?

*pushes Waff outta the way* We wanna try the machine!!!

No we don't.

Great! Step up!

You go first Nick! I wanna see how you look up there.

No.

................

Fine. *walks up and stands on a pad*

MY TURN!!!! *jumps onto another pad and phoenix and gant get shocked by alot of electricity*

Hey...... that looks dangerous. Glad I didn't do it.

Um..... ok....... does any pretty woman wanna give ol' doc here a scratch?

*the machine stops and the two get off*

Oh boy.... what a rush!!! I'm heading out!

Wait for me Nick! *follows Nick*

Oh wow.... why does my head hurt so much.... *checks watch*

Time for my appointment!!! *leaves*

The End.

That's it??? The title didn't even remotely relate to the plot.... and this story is absolutely stupid!

Oh fine!!! I see you are impatient! Then I shall continue, but you have to do what I ask!

I ain't doing crap for you.

I love your crap Edgey.

..........

Why is this banter between these two making me horny?

Oh crap uh.... you! Put that thing away!!!

STORYTIEM!!!!

*back to story*

Hey Nick, where are you going? The office is that way!

Who are you??? Why are you following me? Are you under 18?

Maya Fey, because I am your BFFFE, and no!

Hmm.... BFFFE?

BEST FRIEND FOR FREAKING EVER!!!!

I see...

There you two are!!! I found you at last!

PEARL-DICKIE!!!! COME GIVE GANTY A KISS!!! And maybe flash your chest a little.

Huh??? Ganty??? You're Mr. Nick silly.

Yes, and you are the great goddess that lights up the night sky. The one who calms the stormy seas in my heart.

........ she's 9.

And I'm horny!

NICK!!!! What are you saying???

Nick??? *looks down at self* Oh.....wow.... where did you say my office was?

Over that way.... let me co-

I'll be back! Don't follow me!!! Wrighto needs his alone time!!! I gotta go and check out my physique!!! *runs*

Okay......

Mr. Nick has a crush on me???? This is so sudden....

-----*meanwhile*------

I don't get it, why am I getting all these mean looks? Especially from angry parents and every straight guy in town. Did I do something? *sees Larry* LARRY!!!!! I'm here!!!

ACK!!! Get away from me!!!

Larry! Its me!!! You best friend! Pho-

Best friend??? You raped me twice last week!!! And you molested my little cousin on top of that and called it a threesome!

Eww....

What??? Now you think I'm dirty so you want to lick me clean, right??? I'm not into you!!!! *runs*

Ok..... Larry is more perverted than normal.... I'll make note of that. I'm off to the restroom. *heads into the men's room and as he does, all of the men that were in there run out screaming*

I don't see what they were so... *looks in the mirror* HOLY CRAP!!!! Its Gant!!!! *stares* Wait a sec..... *walks up to mirror and starts doing motions.*

OH NO!!!!! I'm GANT!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*walks in the bathroom* I'm ready for my Tuesday special.

----*meanwhile*-----

Man. Wrighto has the most sexiest body I have ever seen. I have got to get him in bed with me. *sees Maya and Pearl staring at Phoenix*

Um.....what?

You seem so different Mr. Nick.

Did you just do what I think you just did? That's Edgeworth's joke. You can't steal that!

Pearl-dickie! Did you get turned on by my constant moaning???

Huh?

You know.... I was wondering.... can I spank you? You have been a very naughty little girl. You're going to have to pull your pants down.

What??? But I'm not wearing any pants!

*kicks Phoenix in the balls* PERVERTED PEDOPHILE!!!! I HATE YOU NICK!!!! *leaves with Pearl*

Curses!!!! Wrighto does not have balls of steel like me! This hurts!!! I have to get my body back!!!

----*meanwhile*----

*walking down the street* Oh man.... I just gotta find myself and beg to get my body back. It won't be easy though....

Hey there Wrighto!!! *looks at Gant* You know.... my body actually has quite an attractive physique. So masculine and handsome. I bet you the muscles are really firm... and such a fine butt.... mmmmm....

Uh...... Me??? I mean Gant???

RAEP!!!! *jumps on top of Gant*

NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---*in a bed*---

*gets up* WOAH!!! What a nightmare!!! I'm so glad that wasn't real!!!

*laying next to him* That was great Wrighto. Wanna go for another round?

.............

*out of story*

And that's how I became a hobo!!!!

..........

..........

What? Isn't that how Wrighto always ends his stories???

Which part of that was true again???

Oh just the ending of course. Me and Wrighto had a night of passion just before his big case on the whole Kurain case!

But.... wouldn't you have been locked up?

Heavens no.

And here he was complaining about how his butt hurts. I thought it was all Fran's fault.....

Well, that concludes another story from the exciting world of Damon Gant. I'm Damon Gant. May your nights be filled with laughter and pleasure and sexy naked defense attorneys who know a hot child or two!!! Good night!!! *looks at Edgeworth* Now, where do I start?

With Prosecutor Payne?

TOO LATE!!!! *jumps Edgey*

I wanna turn....

END OF MY DISGUSTING FANTASY!

---

(Okay. I was playing case 2 of T&T and I found this quote)

Mr. Wright, What is with this awkward silence!?

(What if he added this?)

Don't you know that when there is an awkward silence, an Edgeworth baby is born!?
Don't you mean a gay baby?
Thats what I said. An Edgeworth baby.

(I always here that quote when I play Halo with my friends and we all go silent. Which I must add is very rare.)

---

*AFTER GANT'S STORY*

(T3h_Waffleman) So you can'nt make me into a waffle? Why?

We have no waffle smilies, but we could do it if you looked for a picture on the Int-

(T3h_Waffleman) NONONO! That won't do! I'm lazy! I guess I'll just take one of those fine leather jackets.

What?

(T3h_Waffleman) .....Oh god. I'm having the Monkey Island dream again! AHHHHH!!!!

Welcome to "The Really Frigging Late Show with Luke Atmey!" Right, Johnny?

Please stop talking to me. I'm here to play music, not tell jokes.

Party pooper. Anyway, please welcome our first guest, JoeP, with his new book out... I forget the name but JoeP everyone!

*clapclapclapclapclap*

(JoeP) Hey every-dang-one!

So, Noah, your book is about the treacherous goings-on behind the scenes of Turnabout News?

(JoeP) Weeeelll, I wouldn't say TREACHEROUS. More like... Creepy. Like, from this passage here:



Wow. Beef Jerky, you're sure?

(JoeP) I am 100% positive it was beef jerky.

What do you think of that, Johnny?

That's not my job.

Pay cut. Anyway, so, what would you say were the top 10 worst things about Turnabout News?

(JoeP) The top 10 thing, huh? Well...
10. I think my office was actually the janitor's closet.
9. Gant.
8. There was always an oder of spoiled Crunk Juice lingering in the air.
7. The Coffee was really gourmet Mud.
6. Ini was being squoowey with the camera.
5. The Sports lady thought Soccer was played with Socks.
4. Maggey kept being all emo.
3. Magic. Namely, Trucy Magic Voodoo.
2. Too much frigging Advil lying around.
1. Gant again.

Ahaaha! Right, Johnny?

You have to sleep sometime...



(JoeP) I think that was a death threat.

BUT! I don't sleep! I'm always doing THIS!

Crap...

(JoeP) Hey, I brought a cat. Wanna see the stupid pet trick it does?

Hmm... Alright then.

(JoeP) OK, Shoe... speak!

im on ur late show, doin mah trix.

I believe we've seen that before.

o noes!

(JoeP) ...Well, I gotta get going. I got a thing.

Don't you want your cat?

(JoeP) *gone*

...Hey, Johnny! Want a cat?

OK. Cat, MAUL!

k den. *mauls*

BWAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

And also, my name's not Johnny!

---

*Is teleported* Wow...the future sure is weird..
..Hey,you're stepping on my box.Get off.
...They still haven't fixed the homeless problems?
Wellllll...
So,what do you do for fun here?Is it any different from the past?
Well...I like to drink alcohol.That's pretty fun.
...Let's go drink alcohol then.(..hope it's still good..)
*Later*
This is good stuff.
Yeah..*hic*
Say,what's your name?
Phoenix...or is it Hobohodo?Or is it...damn,I think I forgot.
Well...what to do.
I have a confession to make..*hic*
Hmm?What is it?
I..I love ya man!

I thought he loved me!


OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD GET HIM OFF ME!

...This is getting a bit sexy

---

mmmmm....wallllffffffffllllles...*drools*
Anyway grat funny D1.

---

(Phoenix goes walking around narrating peoples' lives as though they were movie trailers.)

They were a couple, in love.
Mr. Edgeworth, Chef Armstrong's hat makes you look like a fag.
Until a gay chef's hat threatened to tear them apart.
(wearing Armstrong's hat and an aprin that says 'stick a fork in me')
Oh yeah? Well you look like an enormous... alien... cow!
(Gasp)
This Summer...
(Sees a picture of those two.)
This holiday season...
(sees a picture if Grossburg floating in mid-air somehow)
This Arbor Day...
(sees a picture of Gumshoe shoveling crap for no reason.)
Some snooty French Studio invites you to sit through a four hour movie with no diologue and no plot.
WHATZIT ALL ABOUT?

---

And now for Episode..... What episode are we on again??
I don't know.. I lost track....
(waffle) Just get on with it I want to continue my Funny return!
Fine, what ever Episode number this is, its time for some more "Mega Wright!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Seriously, where the hell did we leave off with last time.
I don't know... all I remember is that we need to go to the McDonalds and fight T3h Waffleman.
(radio) THATS RIGHT YOU TWO! be sure to use those waffle blasters we equiped you two with
This is so absurd.
its either this, or end up being paired.
Didn't that happen in Episode 3?
Your right...
(waffle) DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES!
Yes, I like waffles
(waffle) You know, I get the feeling we will be breaking into song and dance soon....
Yes Master.
(waffle) EZ! Do something about this annoying girl! T_T
About time we reach you Waffleman!
You will not get away from this!
DON'T WORRY MAYA WE WILL SAVE YOU!!!
(waffle) Excellent let the plot begin!!
-music kicks in-
(radio) Be careful you two! Its the waffle song attack!
Waffle Song??!
(waffle) Do you like Waffles!
YEA WE LIKE WAFFLES!
(waffle) Do you like Pancakes!
Yea WE LIKE PANCAKES!
(waffle) Do you like french t... t.. ugh.. Line!!
A moment of weakness, QUICK EDGEWORTH FIRE THE BUSTER!!
OBJECTION!
(waffle) That doesn't hurt the great Waffleman!
(radio) You two are idiots you know that right? I told you two to use the Waffle Buster!
How the hell do we use that?
Somehow i feel like this will be so humiliating.....
(waffle) So back to the song! Do you like french Toast!
YEA WE LIKE FRENCH TOAST!
(waffle) Do do do, can't wait to get a mouth full!
--pause--
Is at that pause we needed to fire?
JUST FIRE BEFORE IT STARTS AGAIN!!

(waffle) ARGH!!! -headbangs-
is it working??
Just keep firing!

---sometime later----
(waffle) DO YOU LIKE ....

(waffle) UGH!!!
ARGH!!! -throws coffee at phoenix
why did I get hit??
(waffle) Time for me to run away! Live to invade another funny another day!
-T3h Waffleman Escapes-
GODOT!
Hey there Trite, Edgey. You two seem like your having fun. Lets play together sometime later, for now, I have a message for Mega Trite.
What is it..
Don't Interupt me Trite!
Again.....
Just that you'll never defeat Hobohodo, you'r not man enough yet to handle him.
God, more of this....
Want coffee on your face too?
I'd perfer Tea thank you.
Argh! Edgeworth, you and I.. we shall see what drink is superior, by battling it out!
What happened to me.. I'm still hungry......
Good ,your OK maya!
You came to save me nick? Thanks


So its settled then, one week from today, we will do battle, you and I Prosecutor man!
Indeed godot, we shall!
What just happened between you two?
SHUT UP W/Trite!!
Again with the coffee??

----------------------
And so another Episode of Mega Wright is finished! Not much, but it seems Prosecutor Man and Godot have made a duel for next week. Who will come out on top? Witch cafinated beverage will regin supreme! Find out next time on Mega Wright!

-----------------------
So, time for the sponsor slot?
You know it!
Lets get this show on the road, eh Kitten?
Lets?

This episode of Mega Wright was brought to you by Ergheiz Zero's Waffle Song video, if you want to see it, go fish for it in the Present Evidence topic, or just PM him for the link.
HEY DON'T ADVERTISE MY PM BOX!

And of course by Gyakusai Cereal and:

You'll enjoy them just as much as I enjoy Coffee!

---

ShyTenda steals some jokes, promotes her crack pairings, and beats a dead horse in this two-part funny!
___
Part 1: What if their personalities changed places?

In this scenario, the Steel Sam-i-am attackifies the Evil Magistron with his Sam-i-am Spike!
What do we do?!
How the hell should I know?

This phone bill is ridiculous.
Who have you been texting?
IDK, my BFF Grodyburger?
___
Part 2: The other part.

Why did we end up together?
We're so different.
*they make out*
*watching through telescope* Oh, this is hot, Hot, HOT!
Can I come out now?
Who said that?
Just my closet. Don't make me whip you, closet!

---

"Whaaaat? You scared of a little ol' haunted house, Odeko? Tch...I'm not afraid of anything..."
"I'M NOT SCARED. I just don't like them. Too unsanitary."
"You're scared."
"Then let's go in, Mr. I'm-not-afraid..."

-A few minutes later.-

"Eyyyyy...this ain't so bad..." -Smirks.- "Lotta blood and stuff...but it's just one of those little fakey ones..."
"I want out."
"Aww...scared, are ya?"
-Clings to Odoroki- "I WANT OUT."
"Thought you weren't afraid of ANYTHING..."
"I FREAKING LIED OKAY! I DON'T EVEN DO MY OWN INVESTIGATIONS BECAUSE I'M TERRIFIED OF BLOOD!"
-Bursts out laughing.-
"NOT FUNNY."
-Walks by in a grim reaper cloak.-
-Whimpers and wraps himself around Odo like some terrified child.-
"...It's okay now. He's scared. Y'all can stop."
"Damn. And I was looking forward to the part where my brother was about to scream like a girl..."
-Gives said girly scream at the sight of some fake blood.-
"...I thought Daian was supposed to be here too..."
-Takes of his hammerhead shark head.- "...Why did you not walk him by the 'shark tank'?"
"Slipped my mind."

-A few hours later at Phoenix's box.-
"You're saying you want to be a hobo? Hobos have to deal with a lotta blood."
"FIND ME A JOB WHERE I DON'T HAFTA SEE IT!" -Crying fit.-
"Full-time rockstar."

-At the dressing room door.-
"And that's why I quit prosecuting."
"THAT'S MORE FARFETCHED THAN THAT TIME THAT TIME YOU TOLD ME ABOUT DAIAN'S DRUNKEN SPREE!"
"Oh shut up. I gotta get out on stage, Lord Forehead."
"Ooh he makes me so mad..."
"Tonight. You."
"OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP."

---

The "Phoenix and Gant switches bodies" funny is epic :D

That would never happen in game, would make a nice twist though.

---