Disclaimer-Franziska von Karma, Detective Gumshoe, and just Phoenix Wright in general don’t belong to me and are being used here without permission.

Title:Ms.von Karma's Surprise
Author:Super Muffin
Rating:PG (for some violence)
Genre:General/Humor
Status: In-progress/incomplete
Pairing: None.
Summary:April Fools Day never did go over so well with Franziska von Karma. This year's no different.

April 1 , 10:30 AM
Criminal Affairs Dept.

Franziska von Karma stormed through the Criminal Affairs department, heading for Detective Gumshoe’s desk. She was absolutely livid. The detective was supposed to deliver a report over to her office 20 minutes ago, but he never showed up. When she got to Gumshoe’s desk, she found him on the computer.
“Detective!” She shouted. He turned to look at his boss, calm as one could be around Franziska. This, of course, only made her angrier.
“You fool! You foolishly didn’t deliver that foolishly foolish report to me! What could a fool like you be foolishly doing?!? Being a foolish fool on your foolish computer? Bah! Where is the foolish report?” She scanned the detective’s desk for the elusive report. When she found it, she reached to get it, but right by the report was a truly odd item-one that didn’t belong on Gumshoe’s desk at all.

A whip.

“How…what…what is going on?! I did not put my whip down- it’s still in my hand…so that means…” Then the young prosecutor realized exactly what it meant. She was being mocked. She, Franziska von Karma, the perfect prosecutor, was being made a fool of. When this thought struck her, something snapped. A vital piece of her brain that kept her rational just seemed to disappear.

Meanwhile, Detective Gumshoe saw his boss’ priceless expression, and started to chuckle. “Ah, Ms.von Karma, you’ve noticed my new whip!” The chuckle was becoming louder, and Franziska was starting to twitch. “After seeing yours in action-” The detective paused to chuckle to himself, then continued-“I decided to get one!” He could barely continue without bursting out in laughter, but was able to hold it in for one last line.

“April Fools, Ms.von Karma!”

At this point, Detective Gumshoe started to laugh uncontrollably. Unfortunately, as he was laughing uncontrollably, he hadn’t noticed that his boss (who wasn’t taking the joke as well as him) was now shaking. Some of the detectives that had been passing by the roaring detective’s desk felt that dangerous aura that meant someone was about to be whipped, and hurried out of range before they became the victim. Franziska stopped glaring at the desk (as she had been during his explanation) and turned her death glare onto Gumshoe, who didn’t notice it because he was leaning back in his chair laughing so hard. Finally, after this 10 minute explanation/laughing session, she spoke.

“FOOL!” She roared, and started whipping the detective savagely. His laugher turned to yelps of pain, and he tried to block the whips with his arms. This failed, and instead ended up having Franziska whip him longer and harder. Eventually, Gumshoe passed out. Franziska then dropped her whip, slapped the unconscious detective across the face, snatched the report off his desk, grabbed a whip, and stormed off, muttering something about disrespectful foolish fools.

April 1, 5:30 PM
Detective Gumshoe’s Apartment
Living Room

As Detective Gumshoe put some ice on his welts and sat down, he sighed. He should have seen this one coming-after all, you can’t insult a von Karma and expect them to laugh it off. Still…it was funny seeing the look on Ms.von Karma’s face. That was priceless-an incredibly camera-worthy shot. Luckily, he hadn’t brought a camera to take a picture like he wanted to-if he had, he would’ve been killed for sure. Suddenly, the detective started laughing. It wasn’t as if he wanted to-laughing made the pain worse. But he couldn’t help it. After all, his “joke” was hilarious, but what happened afterwards was a riot. He was submerged in a flashback to earlier that day, after the whipping.

He came to after the beating, and was on the floor. Something brown caught his eye, so he looked up-and saw a whip on the floor. He picked it up and studied it, thinking it was his, until he saw the initials on the handle-F.v.K. In a momentary stroke of genius (for him), he realized what had happened after he passed out.

As his flashback ended and he was again in his house, he started laughing uncontrollably. After all, his boss had taken his $5.00 plastic whip that he bought at the costume store instead of her top of the line, super expensive leather. As he was laughing, he wondered what Ms.von Karma would do when she found out about the mix-up. The detective could only guess that it wouldn’t be pretty.
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A/N-This fic was mainly written out of curiosity. After all, once a plot bunny starts rampaging through your brain, it's impossible to stop. So...this is the result. Or part of it, at least. I'm hoping that I get some feedback on it, whether it be negative or positive. But if you don't want to, that's fine. No guilting into reviews...anyways, I hope you enjoy Ms.von Karma's Surprise! (Oh, and if Croik comes along and sees this, if it is worthy enough, you can put it on CR. But if it isn't...well then I guess it wouldn't go on the site. How easily things boil down...)

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Last edited by Super Muffin on Thu Sep 06, 2007 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

Disclaimer-Phoenix Wright and all affiliated characters, Orbitz, Pontiac, and any other brands/companies don't belong to me and are being used here without permission.

A/N-Ok. Yes, I have posted a chapter 3 before. But I'm editing over it. You see, this fic was originally intended to be a short little oneshot. We can all see how that turned out. But I thought that the original chapter 3 that was posted here was way too off-topic, and completely missed the point of what I wanted the multi-chaptered story to be. So I hope that this "new and improved" chapter three is better than the old one. Or at least as good. And, for those of you who don't know what ding dong ditch is, it's where you go up to someone's door, ring their doorbell, and run off before they catch you.
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April 2nd, 9:03 AM

Criminal Affairs Dept.

Det. Gumshoe’s desk

As Detective Gumshoe sat down at his desk, he noticed a large, brown envelope placed precariously on top of the rest of his cluttered desk. The recipient’s name was scrawled across the top, as well as a message-



The color drained out of his face as the realization of what the price of his “little joke” yesterday finally sunk in. Torture scenes involving him, Franziska, and a whip flashed through his mind as his breathing grew faster. Almost subconsciously, his hand moved to the leather whip that was safely tucked away in his coat pocket.

“One way or another, this is going to have to be returned to Ms. Von Karma…” The detective thought fearfully. The only choice he had in the matter was how it would be done. As he looked around him, an idea popped into his head. Couldn’t he just find someone else to deliver the envelope and whip to Franziska?

The thought of not having to come in contact with his enraged boss immediately filled him with relief, until the fact that everyone in the department would know about the incident yesterday hit him. After all, Franziska hadn’t quietly whipping him. Or whispering what a foolishly foolish fool he was. So, letting out an anxious sigh, the detective got up to face his punishment.

April 2nd, 9:21 AM

Prosecutors Office

Outside Ms. Von Karma’s office

As Gumshoe stood in front of the polished wooden door listening to the elevator music playing in the luxurious hallway, he started to tremble slightly. Getting whipped unconscious one time was unpleasant and expensive enough-his budget couldn’t handle it if he needed that many bandages and aspirins again. Looking down at the package, another idea crawled into his head again.

“Ding-dong ditch, only with an envelope and knocking! The perfect plan! Why hadn’t I thought of that before?” He thought to himself, an air of excitement surrounding him. As he prepared to knock on the door and drop the package, the door in front of him was torn open, replaced by an angry blue-haired woman standing over him.

“Where can a fool like that coffee boy be? I called him over a half an hour ago…” The rest of the sentence died in her throat as she looked down at the crouching detective. A burning hatred filled her eyes almost instantaneously. He could only look back up into them, feeling as if he had been caught like a child trying to steal a game from a store.

“M-Ms. von K-Karma…” He stammered. Struggling to get up, he tripped on his own green jacket and fell over backwards on the plush red carpet. Instead of a hand to help him get up, Gumshoe was instead met with a harsh whip blow to the chest.

“What are you doing crouching outside my office, fool? Trying to eavesdrop on me? Are you really that stupid as to try to listen to me through a solid oak door?” Her sentences were separated by a whip crack to various parts of his torso.

“N-No, Ms. von Karma, I was just delivering a package-” Looking around, he almost had a mini panic attack before realizing that the envelope in question he was holding. He held it up, offering it to her. Franziska ripped it from his shaking hands, quickly reading the front before marching back into her office. Gumshoe quickly got up before being met with yet another strong blow from her whip.

“In. Now.”

He quickly scurried into the office, standing just inside the doorway. A quick glare from Franziska prompted him to shut the door and sit on the plain red couch. As soon as he had done these two things, he mentally cursed himself. By closing the door, he had effectively cut off his only route of escape other than jumping out the window on the back wall and landing 6 stories down. While he attempted to steel himself for the inevitable beating that was to come and distract himself from the fear that was building up inside him, the detective looked around at the grand office.

The right and left walls were floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, each nearly full of law books in both English and German. The back wall was a window, with blinds that were tightly closed.

“I bet that window gives a great view of downtown LA…” He thought to himself.

The wall behind him, from what he had seen of the office before, was completely bare. It was the only indication as to what the actual wall color was-a warm tan color. The floor was almost completely covered in an intricately woven red rug, on which were Franziska’s desk and the couch he was sitting on. The desk was made out of maple, and was polished enough to reflect the light from the ceiling lamp. The desk, while filled with various papers and files, was still tidier than every single detective’s desk he had ever seen-“Of course it is, seeing as how it’s Ms. von Karma’s desk,” The detective thought to himself.

“Why are you staring at my desk?”

Franziska’s sharp voice brought him back to reality. Shaking his head slightly, he looked up at his boss, and immediately regretted doing so. The furious look she was giving him was both bone chilling and enticing at the same time.

“Um…I d-don’t know, Ms. von Karma.”

“Then stop doing it, fool!” She whipped him yet again, forcing his head back down to the floor. Minutes passed by in a tense silence, as his natural instinct for self-preservation both told him to run and to stay. Finally, Franziska’s voice broke through the silence.

“What sort of foolish thing would compel you to do what you did?” She asked harshly, not even looking up.

“It was A-April Fools D-Day, sir.” He replied.

“What is this foolish ‘April Fools Day’? Some sort of foolish American holiday, like ‘Valentine’s Day’ or ‘Halloween’?” She barked.

“It’s, uh, a day where p-people play pranks on each other. For…er, for fun.” Franziska’s attention was now solely focused on him. He could swear that the intensity of the look she was giving him was raising the temperature.

“’Play pranks’? ‘For fun’?” She slammed her hands down on her desk, resulting in several folders full of papers falling off her desk. “This is an establishment of law enforcement, not a foolish daycare or foolish 7-year-olds!

Gumshoe could only stare at the floor, praying that his punishment would be given to him swiftly. However, as the next few minutes passed once again in silence, the detective realized that this meeting would not be quick or painless. Franziska once again broke the silence in the room.

“Do you know what you delivered to me?”

“Um…I think it was some sort of paperwork.” The detective shakily replied.

“What type of paperwork?”

“It was…” He paused for a moment. “Some sort of transportation paperwork. For family and workers.”

“Have I told you I have a niece?”

“No…” He had not had any desire to ask Ms. von Karma about her family, and was still reluctant to do so.

“I do. Her picture is right there.” She pointed to a small end table the detective hadn’t noticed in his scan of the room. On the table, there was only an ornate silver frame. He shifted a bit to see the picture better, and what he saw nearly made him fall off the couch. The little girl in the photo looked almost exactly like Franziska. The only differences were the hair, which was the same color only much longer and curlier, and the clothes, which were the exact same style but with a different color scheme.

“She…she looks a lot like you, sir.”

“I know.” Even though she was once again bent over her desk filling out paperwork, he could still see a small smirk appear on Franziska’s face for a moment.

“Her name is Annabel, and she will be coming from Germany on the 14th.” Franziska continued. “She will be staying until the 17th, at which time she will depart for Germany again.”

“Ok…” Gumshoe replied, unsure as of whether or not it was the right time to say something. He soon learned, after a whip blow landed squarely in his chest, that it was not.

“Silence, fool! I am not done talking yet!” She roared. He shrinked back into the couch a bit.

“Seeing as how this,” She gestured at the pulled blinds behind her in disgust, “is where she’s going to be for two entire days, I want her to be protected at all times. From the moment she leaves the runway in Germany until the moment she touches down there again, I want someone to be with her. I will not allow her to be harmed in this hellhole if it is the last thing I do.”

The detective was starting to see where he was factoring into all of this, and was liking it less and less.

“While I could easily get trained bodyguards for trip, and have offered to do so, my sister has informed me that I was ‘being overprotective’. This comment, and the fact that having two or three body guards follow her for two days would be expensive-even for me-led me to my current option. While I am…reluctant to do this-” distaste was evident in her voice. “-I am assigning you to be her police escort. This task will replace all your cases from midnight on the 14th to midnight on the 18th. It will also serve as your punishment.” Before he could get a sound out of his already open mouth, Franziska added, “You will not get overtime. You will protect Annabel at all costs and at all times. This should be an easy task-after all, you have been trained in the use of a gun and she is only seven. I have already attained a temporary international ‘License to Kill’ for you for those dates. If anyone that you do not recognize tries to touch or harm Annabel, you are ordered to shoot to kill. Listen to me, Dick Gumshoe.”

From the deadly serious tone Franziska’s voice had taken on to the look that was on her face, the detective could tell that she absolutely expected him to shoot anyone that came near him. Whatever color was left in his face quickly drained out at this comprehension.

“I know first-hand that you can barely walk and think at the same time. I know that you often do incredibly foolish things for no apparent reason-yesterday being a prime example. So let me tell you this-if any single part of her is harmed under your supervision, I will hunt you down and make your life more of a living nightmare than you could even have imagined. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?” She demanded. He furiously nodded until she started talking again.

“You will leave at 5:30 AM on the 14th. Be ready. Get out of my office.”

“Yessir.” Almost tripping over himself to get out, he quickly and clumsily slipped out the door. Nearly falling onto the carpet, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Even though the fact he would be stuck with a seven year old for four days straight couldn’t dampen his happiness of being out of Franziska’s office. Reaching into his pocket to get out a piece of gum to quell his leftover fear from being in there almost an hour, his hand brushed against a worn leather handle. All of a sudden, he remembered that he had completely forgotten to give Franziska her whip back when he was dragged into her office. The detective slowly turned to look at the door, wondering if the ding dong ditch idea would be helpful now.

“GRAAAAAAHHHHHH!” A terrible yell came from behind the door. “I swear that the next person that knocks on my door is going to get a face full of whip, those FOOLS!”

“I don’t think now’s a great time…” Gumshoe thought to himself as he quickly shuffled off, still able to hear Franziska shout at what seemed to be a coffee boy.
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A/N-And the new chapter three comes to a close! Please-if you have any thoughts on the story, I urge you to review. I love getting feedback on my work-it does actually factor into my work, even though at times it doesn't seem like it. Anyways, have a great 2008, for the people that I won't be coming in direct contact with!

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Last edited by Super Muffin on Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

One of the funniest short stories I've ever read.

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This will become the chapter 3 spot. Thinking this post was chapter 2+being up late=mistakes.

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Last edited by Super Muffin on Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I Really like the way you did Gumshoe in this section. It's excellent, and I really hope you finish it.

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I like it! Its very unique

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Once again, one of the funnier stories I've ever had the privelage to read.

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EDIT: I've neglected this for way too long.

Disclaimer: Detective Gumshoe, Franziska von Karma, and all other Phoenix Wright related stuff doesn't belong to me. However, Bob Heart does. Although I don't think anyone'd steal him, seeing as how he plays such a minor part...

A/N-The reason Gumshoe got to Germany from NY so quickly is he went on a supersonic plane. Also, if the times are off, I apologize-I've never been someone that can figure out the time so well between different time zones. Meaning that this is most likely all in Pacific time...urk.

April 17th, 3:45 AM

LAX Airport

International Departures

Detective Gumshoe had been sitting in the waiting area for nearly 2 hours now, struggling to stay awake. His morning hadn’t been going so well, ever since he had woken up with a furious Franziska shouting in his ear through the phone to the drilling he was receiving from her at the moment.

“Detective!” A sharp whip lash woke him up from his reverie. “Recite the first part of the flight plan to me! Now!”

Even though he risked having yet another welt added to the fine collection he had on his arms and torso already, the detective couldn’t keep all the boredom out of his voice as he repeated the plans for the first flight he was taking to New York. After all, they had been going over this ever since he had passed through security. For some reason, Franziska seemed to only acknowledge his tone of voice with an icy glare. As his boss once again started reading off another part of her carefully written out plan, his eyes slid shut. Sleep, it seemed, enjoyed overcoming him in the worst moments…

“I suggest you pay attention, Detective!”

Franziska’s harsh voice caused him to wake with a start. He rubbed his eyes, stretched, and yawned before realizing he was being shot the most powerful death glare in his life.

“Ah…M-Ms. von Karma, sir...um.” His eyes darted back and forth between the blue eyes of death staring down at him and the gloved hand that was twitching right above the whip. A long and incoherent string of babble started to pour out of his mouth-he couldn’t even tell if it was excuses, apologies, or pleas to not whip him to death.

“Detective.” Instead of resorting to her whip, Franziska slapped the blathering man across his face with the back of her hand. “Be quiet and pay attention. I have no patience for your foolish drivel this morning.”

Gumshoe stopped speaking as soon as he felt the smooth leather meet his cheek, instead opting for a shocked, taken aback look. He had been beaten to a pulp by the wretched piece of leather that Franziska carried around-a few different times, in fact. But that was it. That was the only physical contact they had ever made. Needless to say, the slap he had just received unnerved him greatly. Luckily, before either of them could do anything, a tinny female voice came through the speaker on the ceiling.

“Flight 3657 to New York is now boarding. Would all the first-class passengers please come to the gate?”

He didn’t know whether he should be glad or fearful that his flight was being boarded. Getting up, the detective collected his bag and got in line with the rest of the first class passengers-something that normally wouldn’t have happened but did, due to the vicious weapon that his boss enjoyed carrying around. The line seemed to move amazingly slowly, causing a nervous sweat to develop on the detective’s forehead and palms. As he passed his ticket to the exhausted woman in a blue dress across from him and finally went through the gate, he stole one last glance at his boss. To his surprise, Franziska had a small, wicked grin on her face instead of the scowl that seemed to be on it most of the time.

“I wonder what she’s grinning about. She only grins like that when something bad happens to me…” Exhaustion prevented Gumshoe from pondering this point further. It seemed as if his body had it in for the poor man.



Detective Gumshoe buried his face in his hands for the twelfth time since he had left LAX. The man next to him, Bob Heart, ignored this and rattled on about his supposedly amazing camera, oblivious the fact that his audience had completely lost interest in the device about five and a half hours ago.

“…And ya see this here lens? It can get a picture through any tinted window. It’s been quite a handy little thing ‘round LA with all the famous people, lemme tell you! Put me way ahead of the other paparazzi in the biz-”

“Hey!” Gumshoe had finally reached his limit. Some things a man just couldn’t sit through for six hours. “Don’t…don’t you have somewhere to go, pal?”

The man stared at him blankly.

“Like…a ride, or something? Is someone picking you up?”

“That’s…a very good question…” Bob looked up at the clock hanging on the wall opposite from them. “I’m not sure if my sister’s here yet or not-”

“Perhaps you should go check, pal.” “Take the hint, take the hint…”

“Well…” Bob seemed reluctant to leave.

“Take it from me. Women don’t like to be kept waiting.” The detective was ready to shove the man out of the airport if need be.

“I guess I should check. Well…” Standing up, the man extended a hairy arm towards Gumshoe. After staring at the hand for a few seconds, the detective shook it. “It’s sure been nice talkin’ to ya, bub. I don’t know many people that can handle that much technical jargon, but you seemed to get through it pretty well.”

“I tried my best, pal.” This was the one of the truest statements he had made to Bob throughout their time together. As he walked off, Bob turned around and waved. Returning the wave, the detective sighed. Some things, he really could never understand. Such as how you can talk to someone for nearly six hours straight and not ask their name…

April 17th, 12:17 PM

Munich Airport

International Arrivals

The detective walked around the arrival area once again, clenching his teeth in frustration. He had been searching for Annabel and her mother since he had gotten off the plane 15 minutes ago, and hadn’t found a trace of them.

“This really can’t be this hard…” He thought to himself as he stopped in front of the arrivals and departures board and looked down at the picture of the small girl Franziska had given him. He twitched slightly in shock-even though he had looked at it more than a dozen times in the last 20 minutes, it still surprised him whenever he saw how much the little girl looked like his whip-yielding boss. Gumshoe could only hope that Annabel wouldn’t be as violent as her aunt…

“Oof!” He made a small noise when a lady ran into him from behind with surprising force. He fell to the ground, nearly crushing the picture in the process.

“I’m so sorry, sir!” A melodic female voice seemed to be directed at him. He groaned as he got up, the woman repeatedly apologizing. Rebuffing the slender hands that were offering to help him, he tried to turn and look at the person that the hands were connected to. However, as he was doing this, two small hands pushed him in his back. Normally, this wouldn’t have been a problem. But since Gumshoe was off-balance from the fall he had just taken, this caused him to fall down again on the carpeted floor.

“You moron!” A shrill voice yelled at him. Even though his thick trench coat and shirt, he could feel small, powerful hits on his lower back and the back of his thighs. “Stupidly running into Mama like that-”

“Annabel!” Still struggling to stop the incessant pounding on his lower body, the detective rolled over and attempted to get up. He was stopped, however, by a small girl that jumped on his chest.

“Annabel, stop it right now! You know that you shouldn’t hit strangers!” The melodic voice was now yelling at the small girl that kneeled on the detective’s chest, sending slap after slap to the helpless man’s face.

“Why am I just sitting here, letting this girl hit me like this-!” He struggled against her, with no success. He couldn’t very well throw her off him-child abuse in a foreign country was never a good charge to have against you. Suddenly, the slapping ceased and the weight disappeared off of him. Jumping up, he tensed himself for any other physical attacks that were possibly coming.

“Annabel, what have I told you about attacking people?” A stern tone had crept into the otherwise melodic voice.

“But Mama!” The shrill voice whined in reply. “That idiot ran into you! I had to do something-he couldn’t just walk off and get away with being so thoughtlessly rude!”

“He didn’t run into me, Annabel. I ran into him.”

“Had he not been standing there, gawking at like the foolhardy American he most likely is at some photograph, you wouldn’t have had the misfortune of touching him-”

The two continued to bicker. The detective stood and listened for a moment more (like many of the people that had gathered around the three) until something in his brain clicked.

“Wait…Annabel…” Hurriedly patting down his jacket for the picture to compare with the little girl in front of him, he realized it was still in his hand. After comparing the picture with her for a moment, a wide grin broke out on his face.

“Annabel!” The girl and her mother both looked at him.

“How do you know my name, dim-witted foreigner?” Annabel spat at him, contempt sparkling in her eyes. Her mother, however, just looked at him for a moment before a look of realization replaced the one of confusion.

“You are Detective…Gumtree, was it? The one here to pick up Annabel?”

“Ah, Gumshoe. Detective Dick Gumshoe of the Los Angeles Police Department. And yes, I am here to pick up your daughter.” He smiled at the woman.

“Pick me up? Wait.” Annabel’s voice commanded attention. “Mama, we came to the airport so that this brainless man could pick me up and take me somewhere?”

“Yes, Annabel. I’m terribly sorry about this, Detective. My daughter can be a bit…rough sometimes.”

“No problem at all, pal.”

“I suppose I should introduce myself, then. My name is Heidi. What a pleasure to meet you.” Extending her hand, Heidi smiled at Gumshoe. She was about 5’4’’, and was in every way the opposite of her sister. Instead of having blue hair and pale white skin, she had blond hair and was tanned; instead of professional, serious clothing, she had on a casual jacket and skirt; instead of cold, deadly eyes that seemed to criticize the world around her, there was a warmth and curiosity in them that the detective didn’t think possible of the von Karma family. He almost sighed in relief that at least one member of the family seemed human.

“It’s very nice to meet you to, Ms. von Karma.”

She smiled at him with a tenderness that seemed to put yet another barrier between her and her kin.

“Please, Detective. There’s no need for such formality...after all, it’s not as if this is my job.”

“Um…I’m sorry, pal. It’s just that’s what the other Ms. von Karma-my boss-told me to address you by…” Something that he made sure to do, after having it whipped into his brain about a dozen times. However, the mention of her sister seemed to make Heidi’s smile shrink very noticeably.

“Right. Franziska…yes. I haven’t seen her in years…how’s she doing?”

“Well…she works as a prosecutor most of the time. I can’t say much about her personal life, though. I don’t know much about it.”

“Yes. I suppose I should’ve expected that. Franziska’s never been very open with people, especially those who work for her…”

“Mama, I’m not going on a plane with that walking disaster. I’d rather jump off the plane itself.” Annabel’s commanding voice reminded the two that they were in an airport and had a very angry child standing there, being ignored. “Besides, Mama-you know Auntie Franziska. She obviously had a good reason to tell him to address you properly. Most likely because the ignoramus wouldn’t have remembered himself.”

“I don’t think they should let kids have access to thesauruses this easily…” Gumshoe thought to himself with a tinge of unhappiness. At least with Franziska he could keep track of how many ‘fools’ she used when insulting him. However, after his little beating, the detective wasn’t about to screw up again with the dangerous girl.

“You. Kneel. Now.” Annabel barked at him.

“Annabel, there’s no need to be so rude to Detective Gumshoe-”

“No, no. It’s fine.” “I’m used to it from your sister.” Kneeling down, Gumshoe made sure to maintain eye contact. If he had learned one thing from his experience with the rest of the von Karma family (which Annabel seemed content to throw herself into), weakness was not tolerated at all.

“Detective. You had better make sure not to lose me. Or I’ll find you again and beat you down with a stick.” Annabel’s glare grew more intense.

“She doesn’t only look like Franziska, she sure acts like her, too. I hope that doesn’t turn out to be a bad thing…” He thought to himself.

“Ms. von Karma, I promise. I won’t lose you.” His mock salute didn’t do much to affect the look of hatred on the small girl’s face.

“You’d better know that I’m not joking.”

“I believe you, 100 percent.”

This, at least, seemed to lighten Annabel’s face a bit, for an evil grin replaced the sneer.

“It’s nice to see that you respond well to threats, dog. A good skill to learn when around a von Karma.” She aimed two sharp kicks at the detective’s unprotected shins. This girl-that seemed to happily take on the family values of dominance and cruelty-not violent against him? There wasn’t a chance of that in the world.

A/N: Yes. I finally finished the chapter. Not much to say on it...other than I do hope you liked it. If you want, you can leave a review, and tell me if there's anything to patch up, if you liked/hated it, ect. The fourth chapter is in production, and the first one (much like the original second and third chapters) is being scrapped, so expect a new starter chapter. For any up to date news on the story (and some of my other works), please visit my profile (link in sig). The chapter's dedicated to Terrapin44, since I totally destroyed his/her other dedicated chapter. :( Also, as a side note, all major AN's will now be at the bottom.

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Last edited by Super Muffin on Wed Mar 12, 2008 3:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

DOUBLE TROUBLE POST.
Disclaimer-Detective Gumshoe and Franziska von Karma belong to Capcom, and are being used here without permission.

April 17th, 5:30 PM

Flight 725A

Row 1A

If there was any doubt in Detective Gumshoe’s mind of the existence of karma, it had to be completely erased by now.

His first meeting with Annabel was an unprecedented disaster-he hadn’t expected such high levels of physical violence from such a small girl. Nor did he expect her to be able to exude this much hatred towards him. She truly was her aunt’s niece.

“I want cookies.” This demand wasn’t new to the detective at all-she had been saying the same thing for the last two hours.

“I don’t have any.”

“Get some.”

“I can’t…”

“Idiot. Can’t even get a bag of cookies…it’s a surprise Aunty Franziska puts up with you.”

“How did I not see this coming…?” He wondered to himself in exasperation. “The looks should’ve been enough warning…”

“Gumchew.”

“Gumshoe.”

“I don’t care.” Angry eyes met his. “What exactly are you doing here?”

“Escorting you to LA, where Ms. von Karma is.”

“I’m not stupid, y’know. I figured that out when Mama told me.” Annabel smacked him on his left arm for the umpteenth time, causing Gumshoe to wince slightly. The child managed to repeatedly hit him directly on his bruises. Aim seemed to be a common trait among the von Karma family women. “I mean, why did Aunty send you, of all people, to pick me up? It’s not like you radiate some sort of trustworthy aura or anything.”

”I radiate a very strong trustworthy aura, thank you very much. I wouldn’t have been hired as a detective otherwise.”

“Well…” He tried to think back to what Franziska’s reasoning was. Enough had happened since their meeting that he couldn’t really remember very well, so he threw out the best guess he had. “I suppose it was some sort of punishment-”

“WHAT?!?”

Annabel jumped up onto her seat as she exclaimed this.

“What do you mean some sort of punishment?!”

“Wait, wait, wait…did I say punishment? I-I meant to say…uh…vacation! Yeah, vacation!” His scrambling didn’t seem to be very convincing for the girl, as rage still seemed to flood through her.

“You liar! I can’t believe that Aunty Franziska would send you out to get me as a punishment!”

“Excuse me, could you two please keep it down?” A woman sitting directly behind them had poked her head through the seats-a very, very bad move on her part.

“Shut up, you dim-witted fool!” Out of nowhere, a small hand struck the woman in the face, knocking her head against the seat to her right.

“Annabel! You can’t hit people like that-”

“I can do whatever I damned well like! I’m a von Karma!”

“Don’t say damn!” Gumshoe could feel what little self control of the enraged child that he had quickly slipping away.

“Damn damn damn! You want me to throw some other words in there?”

“Sir! Control that child of yours!” The flight attendant had now rushed over, and the entire first class cabin was looking at the two in shock.

“She’s not my child, pal!”

“How dare you disown me, you buffoon!” Annabel jumped onto the detective’s back-not an easy feat for someone so small. The girl now had him in a chokehold, causing him to start thrashing around. Small, tiny black dots were appearing in his vision as his oxygen supply started to dwindle.

“A-Annabel-!”

People were now trying to get the small, dangerous child off him.

“All…black…can’t…feel…” Fear started to well up inside of him. He had expected violence, yes, but this situation completely threw him off. Dying wasn’t very high up in his agenda. Finally, the vice like grip around his throat was released-just in time, too, considering that he almost passed out from lack of air. The detective fell to the ground, gasping. His surroundings came back to him slowly, and with gaps. It seemed that one minute, he was on the ground, face to face with the other passengers’ feet, and the next he was up in his chair, a male flight attendant looking at him with worried eyes and asking him if he was ok. He nodded, trying to make sense of what had happened. Something seemed to be coming out of his mouth-words, maybe-but he couldn’t understand what it was. They all gave him incomprehensible answers, overloading the small part of his brain that was working. Giving in to what he wanted to do since he woke up this morning, he slowly slid his eyes closed, ignoring the small part of his mind that kept telling him to find something…

March 17th, 7:38 PM

LAX Airport

First Class Cabin

“Sir? Sir?”

A low groan escaped Gumshoe’s lips as he woke from his perfect nap to see a young man shaking his shoulder, trying to get him up. Surprisingly, he had slept the entire way through the rest of the flight from New York.

“Wha…?”

“Sir, the plane’s landed in LA.”

“LA…home. Finally…” He stretched out, stifling his yawn. He couldn’t wait to get home and have some ramen.

“Glad to see you’re doing alright after that crazy girl attacked you, sir.”

“Crazy…girl?” The events of the flight rushed back to him mid stretch. “Oh, right. He’s talking about when Annabel attacked and almost killed…”

“Oh my-WHERE’S ANNABEL?!”

“…Who? What?” Confusion was plastered on the stranger’s face as he took a step back. Gumshoe was flailing around wildly, trying to find the child that had nearly killed him.

“The-the girl! The girl that was attacking me!”

“Oh…well, after we got her calmed down, she sat with some lady, who gave her cookies. After we landed, she rushed out as soon as she could, carrying her bag-”

Gumshoe never heard the end of the sentence, instead opting to rush out of the nearly empty cabin.

“If I don’t come back with Annabel…I need to find her. Now.” The consequences for not coming back to Franziska without Annabel would surely be worse than death. However, luck seemed to both love and curse him as a small foot reached out and tripped the detective as he exited the small hallway leading from the plane. For the fourth time today, he fell down to meet the generic airport carpet.

“Ugh…” He moaned in pain, attempting to get up. He was stopped by a sharp hit to the center of his back. Whatever hit him was accurate enough to strike a nerve, causing him to collapse in pain again.

“Argh! Ow!”

“That’s what you get, idiot.”

Time seemed to stop in its tracks.

“That voice…”

“Annabel? Is that you?”

“Good guess.” Another hit fell on his back in acknowledgement at his answer. Positive acknowledgement, if he was lucky.

“Good. That’s fantastic…” the detective clambered to his feet, looking down at the small girl. Unfortunately, he couldn’t do that, because he was two very familiar looking boots that grabbed his attention. Following them up, it lead to the one face that he would’ve given his entire ramen collection to not see.

“M-Ms. von K-Karma…” Fear seized him. “Did I make it out before she got to Annabel? Oh god…I…oh no. Is she going to kill me? No, there’s too many witnesses…”

“Fool.” An amazingly strong hit from her whip struck him in the ribs, taking him out of his worried thoughts quickly. Apparently, he hadn’t gotten out in time. Yet again, he fell down, this time landing on his right side. Annabel’s evilly grinning face, Franziska’s boots, and the random thought of how lucky he was to have some sort of long, leathery thing in his coat pocket to shield the full force of the whip blow drowned out all the other things in the busy airport.


A/N-And so ends chapter 4. This story will most likely be coming to it's conclusion soon-maybe even in the next chapter. However, you might not want to be holding your breath too long, because I still have no hard set idea on how it's going to end...anyways. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated-although it really might not seem like it, they do help me really stay focused on writing this out. I love knowing that people are actually reading my work. I nearly have a heart attack when I'm about to read one.

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someone should make a sprite for annabel.

Once again honey, one of the funnier stories that I have ever read.

I liked what you did with the beta version of the punishment, and I like what you did with the newer version of the punishment. Either way is great for me.

I noticed some grammatical errors, but that's all.

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@razil-YES. That would be so awesome. I wish I could sprite...
@Bleachlover-I'm glad you like both versions. I love it when people like what I write. It gives me some reassurance that I'm not just writing to myself. Some grammatical errors, huh? I'll have to go over them...
Thank you for your reviews! I is addicted to them :P

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Ahaha, I love Gumshoe stories! <3 Yours are spiffeh!

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this has gone too far
will powers:watch everyone as i whip franziska von karma 15 times
franziska:ahhhhhhhhh
will powers:april fools

this has gone too far
will powers:watch everyone as i whip franziska von karma 15 times
franziska:ahhhhhhhhh
will powers:april fools

omg

MOAR. ;-;

Otherwise, I think I'll die.

I really like this fic. Seriously.

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This foolish fanfiction is a foolishly foolhardy, disrespectful foolish piece of... ...FOOLISHLY FOOLISH FOOLHARDY...

SH*T. I really need a noun.

...FOOL!

I like it.

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when will this fan fic return??

razil-Hopefully, by Tuesday. April Fools Day. I thought that'd be a good updating date...concidering that, more or less, it was supposed to be about an April Fools Day joke fic all along. As you can see, it's spiraled very much out of control... :sweat:

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That would be epic.

You should do it.

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This chapter, while it wasn't released on April Fools Day, was still meant for the day. I just got eaten by school and sickness to post it. D: I hope you all enjoy it anyways.
Link-http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3723695/1/Ms_von_Karmas_Surprise
EDIT-Chapter 5. Like I promised.
Disclaimer-...I really don't think I need to tell all of you I don't own the characters, do I?
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April 24th, 11:03 AM
Gourd Lake

Before meeting Annabel von Karma, the term ‘personal slave’ hadn’t really meant much to Detective Gumshoe. After meeting the child and learning that he would be becoming her personal slave for five days, it carried new oceans of meaning. It meant that there would be unlimited piggyback rides, hours of jump roping, and swimming fifteen feet through frigid water to play ‘see how far you can throw the ball’.
“Gosh, Scruffy, that water sure looked cold.” The detective, clambering out of the frigid water, cursed whatever inspiration had led to his ‘nickname’. “You’re getting better at retrieving it, though. But I’m tired of playing with you now. I just want to play with the ball now.”
“Yes sir.” He offered the wet ball to the child, receiving only a disgusted look from her.
“You can’t expect me to play with that wet, slippery thing, Scruffy. Dry it off.”
He looked down at his dripping wet tie, dress shirt, and black slacks, and resisted the incredibly strong urge to reply with “dry it off yourself”, a comment that would undoubtedly earn him his third kick to the shins this morning. Although there wasn’t anything around to dry ball off with-the only food stand that was opened had conveniently run out of napkins the day before.
“Um, what would you like me to dry it off with, sir?”
At this question, the already wide grin grew (impossibly) wider on Annabel’s face.
“Well, how ‘bout your nice, dry coat over there?” She pointed at the green trench coat he had thrown aside before jumping into the lake.
“Of course. Take away the one dry, warm thing that I was looking forward to putting on.”
There wasn’t any room to object, though. Not with a von Karma. So the detective once again obediently marched over to his dry coat, picked it up, and started to dry off Annabel’s precious ball.
“It sure is nice to have my own personal slave. Especially one so…secretive.” The small girl had hopped up onto the bench by him and sat down. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so dull-witted hide so many things.”
“First time for everything, sir.”
This prompted a violent slap from her.
“I don’t like your tone, Scruffy.”
“Sorry, sir. Your ball’s dry.” He offered her the ball, which she snatched from his hands and inspected.
“Hm…well, it certainly isn’t amazing…but it’s adequate.” She hopped off the bench at the same time that the detective collapsed on it. He still didn’t have much feeling in his arms or chest because of the freezing water, and still wasn’t anywhere near being dry, but there was a certain joy that was in him. It took a minute for him to realize that the joy was from the fact that his punishment and personal slave status would be ending at 6:00 AM tomorrow. A grin appeared on his face before being wiped out by a hit to the stomach.
“I’ve decided what I want to play, Scruffy. Dodgeball!”

April 24th, 1:00 PM
Prosecutors Office
Down the hall from Ms. von Karma’s Office

“Hurry up, Scruffy! I want to see Aunty Franziska!”
Gumshoe was leaning against the wall, panting. He had just run up all twenty-one flights of stairs to Franziska’s office with Annabel on his back, pounding him to go faster.
“A…minute…sir…” He gasped out between pants.
“No minute! C’mon!” She grabbed his hand and dragged him down the hall.
This had been their after lunch ritual for the past three days that the detective had been with Annabel-every day, at 1:00 PM, he was to drop the girl off to Franziska for an hour for some sort of together time between aunt and niece. It was also known as ‘The Holy Hour’ around the Criminal Affairs Department-it was an hour that the blue-haired demon wasn’t terrorizing the detectives or officers that worked around the place. Gumshoe hadn’t ever seen Annabel this happy to go to Franziska’s office in all the time she’d been here, though. A red flag went up (and was ignored) in the back of his mind.
After what seemed like an eternity, the impatient girl and the exhausted detective reached the familiar polished wooden door and brass plaque that adorned it. Annabel knocked three times, and within five seconds the door opened and a smirking Franziska replaced it.
“Almost late, Scruffy. Hello, Annabel.”
The child nearly jumped into her aunt’s arms, leaving the gasping Gumshoe behind her on the carpet. He didn’t expect to get off so easily, though, and was right-a sharp heel poked him right in between his shoulder blades, causing him to collapse onto the ground.
“Get up and come in. I have something to say to you.”
With much difficulty, he got himself up on his feet and stumbled into the office. Franziska went and sat down, Annabel and all, in her chair behind her desk. The detective buckled onto the couch. The three simply sat there for a minute in total silence before Franziska spoke.
“To say I am surprised would be an understatement, Detective.”
“What did I do now…?”
“I honestly didn’t expect you to be so on top of things when Annabel was here.”
This comment was enough to snap his head up at the prosecutor.
“On…top of things?”
“Yes. You not only managed to follow my schedule exactly, but Annabel seems far happier than I’ve seen her in a long time.”
“Oh yes, Aunty Franziska. It was a…pleasure to have Scruffy as my personal slave for three days, even if he is a hopeless fool.”
He was staring, dumbfounded, at the two von Karmas. Not in a million years did he expect to be complimented by either of them.
“So…”
“Consider your punishment fulfilled, Detective. That is, as long as nothing goes wrong for the rest of Annabel’s visit.”
It was all he could do to not jump up and run out of the room with excitement.
“I…this…is…I don’t know exactly what to say, sir…except thank you so much. It’s been a real pleasure to be Annabel’s…er, assistant,” “when I wasn’t around her,” “and I…”
“Stop your blabbering, Detective.” Franziska glared at him. “It’s not like I’m sparing you from the firing squad.”
“That’s what you think.”
“Anyways, you are excused for an hour. Go away.”
Gumshoe was about to get up before Annabel’s shrill voice stopped him.
“Wait, Scruffy! Don’t go yet! I have something to show Aunty Franziska and I would hate for you to miss it!”
He looked at Franziska for an indication of whether to leave or not.
“Sit.”
He obviously wasn’t going to get off that easily.
“So, Aunty Franziska…this morning, Scruffy and I were at Gourd Lake. I was playing with my rubber ball when I kicked it too hard and it went sailing into the lake.” The small girl made a ‘whooshing’ sound to represent the ball ‘accidentally’ flying into the lake. “So I sent Scruffy to go get it, and while I was waiting for him to come back-he was being really slow-I saw something very familiar in his coat pocket.”
This was sounding worse and worse by the second to the detective. A fine sweat started to coat the back of his neck.
“And you know what I found, Aunty?” Annabel looked directly at the detective while she was pulling out the very familiar object that she was talking about.
“I found your whip.”
Time stopped in its tracks.
The smooth, deadly whip was now resting in Annabel’s hands. Franziska wasn’t the only one staring at it with complete surprise on her face-the detective was gaping at it as well, his mouth hanging comically open. Unable to believe it, he patted the pocket that he thought he had the whip in. It wasn’t there, of course.
“I just thought you’d like to get ‘Whippy’ back, Aunty.”
Still in shock, Franziska took the whip out of her smirking niece’s hands. After a second of holding it in her hands, the prosecutor’s fist tightened around it. She began to shake.
“Annabel,” Franziska said through clenched teeth, “please go outside.”
“Okay…” Obediently but sadly, the small girl hopped off her aunt’s lap. While she was passing by the now shivering detective, her evil smirk grew wider and she stopped by him for just a second.
“Just a little ‘going away’ present, Scruffy. So you won’t forget me.”
He didn’t even notice the kick she sent towards his shins, too transfixed by the rage and fury in Franziska’s eyes that was, undoubtedly, going to be released any second.

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Last edited by Super Muffin on Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:00 am, edited 3 times in total.

Poor, poor Gumshoe, whatcha gonna do? Franziska's onto you, hey, whatcha gonna do?

(sorry, I had songs from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat stuck in my head.)

Anyways, absolutely amazing!

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Fav'd on ff.net.

Must continue DDDDDD: it's too goooooood

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I don't seem to be giving up the ghost very easily on this fic.
Which means two more chapters before it gets marked as done.
I can't say whether you all should feel lucky or cursed...D:

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Luckyyyyy *fucking shot*

Well, Gummy is the cursed one. Just think of it that way.

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Oh,man..I really enjoyed this FF.I want more please
@Super Muffin:Is there any more of it,pal? :')

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@.Storm-Yes. Gumshoe will ALWAYS BE the cursed one. He's just so much awesomer that way.
@Dick-Gumshoe-Why, thank you. I'm glad you liked it. There'll be two more chapters after this one, so keep your eyes peeled. May I suggest the bookmarking button at the top of the thread?
(On a mostly completely off-topic note-lolz. This is a 'popular topic' now.)

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you have made gumshoe more pathetic then ive ever thought of, i still think someone should make a sprite for annabel.

Ok,I cant wait for it :') One question though,did you make this FF or....?

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still waiting for this to be done.

I am probably the lamest author ever when it comes to simultaneous updating. *facepalm*

So, the last chapter of this fic has been up on ff.net for...a while, but I totally blanked on updating this CR thread along with it.

In case any of you actually remember this fic, here's the final chapter--chapter 6. I'm not going to actually bother c/p-ing it onto this post, as it's rather long and should be read via ff.net anyways.

Thanks to all of you that have followed MvKS! I really appreciate all your encouraging words. :D Sorry I've been such a slacker with updates. (And Dick-Gumshoe--I'm assuming that you're asking whether I actually wrote this for ff.net or not. (If that is totally not your question, feel free to correct me. I'm kinda slow with questions, anyways.) Truth is, I didn't write it for the site. I just wrote it then thought that hey, this isn't too bad and posted it. Hope I answered your question.)

And...well, it can't hurt to put in an advert to my writing community and writing journal over at Live Journal. Feel free to randomly friend any of my journals that I have on the site.

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Wow, this fanfic is pretty good. I do kind of feel bad for Gumshoe, though..........

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Last edited by GDM on Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well done with this fic!

I can imagine what`s going to happen in the next chapter but don`t worry it`s just a hunch.

This is funnier than the funniest thing I`ve ever read, never reading something made me laugh that much!

I hope you get that chapter soon! As a great fan of Franny I`m just so excited about it!

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