But what about Diego?
... *shudder*

---

And

::shudder::

AND

::SHUDDER::

---

---

doesn't count, obviously

Dullahan1 Presents:(and will probably be shot for later...)Phoenix Finds the True Meaning of Christmas!!!

*"deck the halls" starts to play in the background as the camera zooms into a house in the dark of the night under a light snow.*

Oh ho ho ho!!!! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and all that other crap you fools celebrate... or don't celebrate... your call!!! I am Ganta Claus, Christmas extraordinaire.

Yes, that's right. I'm not focusing on any of your other holidays, because basically, I could care less!!! Now, why are we here again????

Ah yes!!!! I am here to tell the story of the true meaning of Christmas.... of course, the title already gave it away, so its no surprise here. Anyways... without further ado, let's begin with the story!!!

*screen blacks out and a face appears in a small box and a song starts to play*

(song sung to the tune of The Brady Bunch): Here's the story, of a teenage woman. Who loves to gorge herself in lots of junk. She has a little cousin, who gets molested... and thinks Damon's a hunk.

Here's the story, of a man named Phoenix. Who we know for sure is very very gay. He is homo, with all his queer friends, even Edgey with his flamboyant cravat.

And then one day these two got into some trouble. Phoenix decided to go and run out on the tab. His friend Maya who ate 400 burgers, couldn't pay and grew lots of flab.

Lots of flab..... lots of flab..... thats the way Maya grew lots of flab!!! (end song)

I'm going to kill the author later.

Not if I get to him first.

What is mole-est-ud? Is that a type of candy???

N...No!!!! Pearls, I don't want you to ever get that, you hear???

Yes Mr. Nicolas, I'll do anything for you...

That nickname really bothers me you know....

Nick, the script... stick to the script.

Ah yes, the spirit of christmas.....*reads script* What the heck? We have to FIND the spirit of Christmas???!?!?! Isn't that um....intangible?!?! It's not like that traumatizing time where I had to find my parents.... only to find out they were me and my daughter. At least that was possible.... if only slightly, but this??? I am so not doing this!!! PERIOD!!!

AH! Thanks for reminding me Nick!!! *takes some pads and runs to the bathroom*

Ok.......

I think we should do it Nicol...

AHEM!!!

I mean Mr. Nick. I think it would be fun and give the readers something to read!!! They like adventures!!!

And I hate them, which is why I am not participating in this. Got me kid???

Yes sir...... meanie.

*there is a knock on the door*

Come in!!!

*door opens*

*comes in with a plate of cookies* Hello there Mr. Wright. I heard that you needed a little motivation to get started on your adventure.... hee.....hee.....hee.....

Viola!!! Long time no see!!! H....How are you???!?!

Have some cookies..... I made them myself.....hee.....hee.....hee.....

YUMMY!!!!

NO!!!! YOU'LL DIE PEARLS!!!!!

Wait a sec.....

---*insert flashbacks*---

Hello there Feenie, long time no see...

Iris!!! Looking as good as ever!!!

MR. NICK!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!! *slaps Phoenix about 10 times.*

-----------
So you say you spiked the punch at the dance.

Yes sir!!! I think you are quite handsome sir!!!

MR. NICK!!! Quit flirting!!! *slaps Phoenix*

-----------
I'M MASK *jazzhands* DEMASQUE!!!!!

Yes... but can you prove it???

STOP HITTING ON THAT WOMAN!!!! *slaps Phoenix*

-----*end flashback*-----

Ahh... what the heck? Have a cookie Pearls!!! I have no objections!

But I do, Trite!!!

What the crap??? When did you get in here Godot???

I come and go as I please Trite. I'm like a ninja.... a ninja with a visor.... a visored ninja.... with a troubled past..... a troubled past visored...

ENOUGH!!! I get it already??? What do you want Godot?

To save the little kitten from an untimely death.... and to pick up my date.

Your date???

Yes.

Oh Mr. Godot... you have arrived.... I'm...... embarrassed.... hee.... hee.....

Gah, this is getting creepier by the second...

*takes tray of cookies* Let's leave kitten. *Viola and Godot leave*

Aww..... I was hungry.

I'm back!!!

And everyone rejoiced....

Nick!!! Let's go search for the true meaning of Christmas!!!

I thought we were over this....

No!!!! Besides, we need a break!!! We've been too busy with work anyways!!!

Yeah.... a whole five cases over the past year.... my life must be BUSY!!!

See??? Now let's go!!!

*outside the Wright and Co. Law Offices*

Okay.... we're out on the sidewalk... now what?

Beats me. I'm too impulsive to think things through.

And I'm a naive child.

I'm going back inside.

NO!!!! YOU CAN'T!!!! That will totally destroy the plot!!!

We weren't following one to begin with....

Well then, I shall help you all then!!!

What the?!?! Why are you here???

To find the true meaning of Christmas so I can make all the kids in the world happy, especially since my show isn't on TV anymore.

Congratulations, let me know when you finish.

Nuh-uh. You are coming too.

Make me.

WP will beat you up.

No he won't. He's a pansy.

....... now why did you have to say that??? I have a lead as to where to go.

YOU DO??? Take us now!!!!

And what lead is this, may I ask?

The North Pole of course!!! Isn't that where Christmas originated???

Well actually it all started 2000 years...

Yes. Let's all go to the North Pole!!!

I'm not going.

Need I remind you what happened the last time you disobeyed me???

Let's all catch a taxi to the airport!!!
---------------------------------------------------

So, what will happen to our two sexy, sweaty, masculine heroes, the little hot girl with the tight butt and rapeable body, and the hippie spirit girl who has no real meaning to me whatsoever??? I'll tell you what happens!!!!! Aside from the hippie girl, they will all get a SPECIAL visit from good ol' dear Ganta of course. You want to know what I will give them? I'll tell you. I'll give them a..... oh.....we're all out of time??? Oh darn. Oh well, be sure to check out next time what happens and remember, I'm watching you.... ALWAYS..... FOREVER.

---

OMG. IS IT TRUE? IT'S MY TURN NOW!? YAY!
Actually, they only play the game because they like me. They all hate you.
But...But...Why!?
BECAUSE YOU DID THIS:



BLASPHEMY!
Tell it to the judge! Oh, here he comes now
All rise for the honorable judge Shuu.
Okay, let's get this over with. I made an appointment with Mike Meekins to play badminton, the new athletic pastime of the world.
O WHAT HORRIBLE WORLD HAVE I PLUNGED MYSELF INTO! *faint*
YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D! WHADDYA HAVE TA SAY, KID?...KID?...HEY YOUSE BETTA---
HE'S PASSED OUT YOU DOUCHE!
Whuteva, I still get my 200 bucks by the end of this.

My apologies for my previos post relating to sidekick boobs. I forgot about and . I have to study for my finals and I havent played PW becaue my sister borowed the game for weeks and wont finish the last case. Plez forgive me due to my new-ness at this. (But I am glad that so many people responded.)
________________________________________________________________________

Hay, how many times have we used the "and thats how I became a hobo joke?"

ITS OVER NINE TOUSANNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

WHAT? NINE THOUSAND? THERES NO WAY THAT'S RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________________________________

That explains a lot. What do you have to say?

Im saying sinlent about that.

(Expletive delited)

---

Woah, I just laughed really hard from these.

If it weren't for you, BigFish, the Mask *jazz hands* Demasque joke wouldn't exist.

---

Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Anyways.... Here's one of my own.

The real reason Phoenix had such a big problem contacting Edgeworth.....

Oh no! It looks like Edgey has become evil!
I have to call him!
*picks up cell phone*
EDGEY! EDGEY!
Why did you become evil! Tell-
Please leave a message at the beep. *beep*
TALK TO MEE EDGEEEEEEEEEeeeeeyyyyyyyy....!
*hangs up phone*
Now I just wait for him to call back.
......
.........
..........
GRRAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!
*picks up phone again*
EDDGGEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY!!!
Say SOMETHING NOW!
NOWWWWWW!!!
*throws cell phone at wall*
NOOOOO!!
What are you doing???
I'm breaking up with you! Now!

Date:February 27 Time: 8:12AM
Location:-Police Department Entrance

*Damon Gant arrives to work and is whistling as he walks into work*

Good Morning, Mr. Gant.
Good Morning, Sir!
Mornin' Mr. Gant.
*asleep at his desk* ZzZzZ...
Here's your breakfast, Mr. Gant. I'll see you at lunch time.
Good Morning Everyone and Thank You, Ms. Starr. *takes the Breakfast*


*Damon Gant heads into his office and puts down the lunch*

I wonder if Ms. Starr remembered to add in my secret ingredent...
*takes a bite*
She Did! This calls for a random musically number!


*Meanwhile, back at the Criminal Affairs Department*

*mumbling amongst themselves*
ZzZzZz


*The speaker system kicks on and singing is heard*


I, I, I love little girls
They make me feel so good
I love, little girls
They make me feel so bad

When they're around
They make me feel
Like I'm the only guy in town

I love, little girls
They make me feel so good…

…
…
… That bastard…
…
*still sleeping* …The instant noodles are trying to kill me… ZzZzZz…


When they're around
They make me feel
Like I'm the only guy in town

I love (I love), little girls
They make me feel so good
I love

Damn, I have a great singing voice. I think I’ll reward myself with a swim later.
Oh ****! I left my Breakfast on top of the Speaker button again! *cuts off speaker system*

-------------------------------------------------------------
And that’s how I became a pedophile!
And your telling me this why? And why does that last part sound so familiar?
...
Trucy, Come here and sit on Uncle Gant's lap
Daddy, …I’m scared…

XD Oh. My. God. That whole post made me laugh, good job.

We now bring you "Internet Fanart Clichés beaten-like-a-dead-horse-till-it-turns-to-slimjims theature!"

Since I'm the most origional charcter ever. *drinks coffee* Realy, there is no way to simplify my troubled persona into a simple image! *drinks coffee* *drinks coffee* I have looks and personallity an-
And you make toast, too!
*LAZORBEAM*

---

Ah, the joys of having sisters and talking while tired... pandyra, my other sister, and I came up with this when we went out to eat. I now present... the shortest case ever. With random characters, cause I felt like it XD

You did it?
I did it.
You heard that?
(Jury) We heard it.
You're guilty.
*GAVELSLAM*

---

ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.

No, no, NOOOOOOOO!!!!

*wakes up*
ah, thank goodness it was just a dream.





OR WAS IT?

---

@Butz: That is the best twist to that joke yet!!! That just cracked me up! Congrats!!!

Dullahan1 Presents: Phoenix Finds the True Meaning of Christmas!!! Episode 2

*a quiet piano version of Jingle Bells is playing as the camera zooms into a familar house*

Oh ho ho ho!!! Welcome all to the continuation of the previous episode of Wrighto's adventure of stepping outside of his office. That's right, you may have not have noticed, but that last funny was just a whole waste of ol' Wrighto there just stepping out of his office. If you laughed from all that, you should be ashamed!!! Wrighto isn't funny at all!!!!

I AM FUNNY!!!! BOW BEFORE THE ONE AND ONLY GANT!!!!! HA!!!!

Anyways, since I am rambling about nothing and obviously have nothing to talk about as of now, let's continue with the story............ RAEP!
----------------------------------
*at the airport*

Okay, so we're here, now what???

We catch an airplane ride to the North Pole.

You do know the North Pole isn't real.... well, it is, but not as somebody's home.

What are you saying Mr. Nick???

Santa isn't real!!! This is a waste of time!!! I don't even know why I'm even here!!!

WHAT???? HOW DARE YOU MR. WRIGHT!!!! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!!!

S.....S.....Santa isn't real???

No.... Nick!!! You lie!!! Of course he is Pearly!!! If it wasn't for Santa, I would have never been inspired to do what I do.

Which is????

Eat burgers.

Um....... in the stories, he eats cookies and drinks milk.

Yes, but because of him, I desire to get fat. He teaches you that fat people are jolly, and I wanna have a fat belly and be jolly and have rosy red cheeks and a belly full of jelly... or whatever it is he has in his gut.

It's magic!!! Santa has magic in his gut!

Really???? That's it!!!! I'm going to get fat for sure so I can have magical powers!!!!

Yay!!! I'm going to get fat too!!!!

You all are idiots....

Mr. Wright!!!! You have become cold as of late. Who are you, Mr. Edgeworth?!?

D....D....Don't compare me to him!!! I'm not gay!!!

No one said you were Nick.

Can we get on the plane please??? Buy the tickets Mr. Nick!!!

Heck no. This whole adventure is a bunch of fish poo!!! It's a waste of my time.

Buy the tickets or I'll make it to where you will never be able to use the bathroom comfortably ever again. Remember what I did to Winston Payne???

Who?

Exactly.

No seriously, who?

So Nick, you're going to the North Pole, huh?

No. Who the heck gave you that floosy idea???

Mr. Powers when he bought you airline tickets to the North Pole.

What???? Excuse me for a sec!!! *runs to the bathroom*

Erm... uh... for a second I thought he was coming after me.

That's not it. Nick is having his man period.

Really???

No. He's probably using the bathroom comfortably, knowing that it may be his last time if he goes against my will.

Aww.... how sweet.

EWWW!!!! No!!! I meant my will as in what I want!!! Not my will as in uh.... you!!! Besides, I love Phoenix!!! I wanna do such dirty dirty things to him. I wanna tie him up in ropes, handcuff him to the bed, untie that pink necktie, unbutton that suit, slowly remove his pants, and give him a makeover because I get sick and tired of seeing him wearing those sick atrocious suits all the time!!! It's freakin' annoying!!! Its not like he's lawyering all the time. Would it kill to have some casual clothes?!?

Uh.... you lost me at ewwww.....

So, can I go to the North Pole too???

Weren't you dead???

Uh... what???

You know.... when you died when Mr. Nick found his mommy and daddy.

Uh.... you do know that was fictional, right.

What's a fictional???

It means you're stupid, Pearly, stop asking dumb questions.

*comes back with a tampon up his nose* Uh.... I don't know how to use these...

HOLYCRAPNICKGIVEITBACKITSMINE!!!

He did!!! He did have a man period!!!

Uh... Nick... if I knew you had women problems... I would have, uh...

What Larry??? What would you have done???

I dunno.... I'm not gay. At least in this funny I'm not.

So WP, how long until our plane takes off???

7 hours.

....................... this is going to be a looooooooong day.

Well, I'm not going. I used the bathroom, so I have nothing to fear Maya.

You WILL have to go again.

Crap.
--------------------------

So what will happen to our heroes now??? Will there be some Pearly rape??? Oh gosh I hope so!!! I'm getting a stiffy just thinking about it!!!!

*hands Gant a cookie with the word "stiffy" on it.

What did I tell you? It's like she can read my mind. Anyways, stay tuned for next episode, when I rape each and every one of those heroes, minus the hippie, plus the plane, plus the baggage, plus myself, next time!!!!.........Wait, what??? Family friendly??? Well this sucks!!! Fine, next episode will be everything I said, minus the rape because Dullahan1 sucks!!! Oh well, if you still want to read his boring rapeless funny, stay tuned for next time. Excuse me while I go warm up my sex toy.... I mean donut. *leaves*

---

*Rolled up in a corner* The cake is a lie...The cake is a lie...The cake is a lie...
----
And now, for something completely different. Oh, and by the way, the cake is not a lie.
----
*You see a black screen, which slowly starts to have streaks of light around it, like the screen saver everybody always compares with lightspeed from Star Wars. The words appear: Half-Wright2. A man appears before you*
Rise and shine, Dr. Wright, rise and shine;not that I'm implying that you've been sleeping on the job. In fact, noone is more diserving of a rest then you. The right man at the wrong time can make all the difference...
*Cut to Phoenix on a train wearing a blue jumpsuit*
(My name is Phoenix Wright. I'm a lawyer, who also happens to have a MIT engineering degree. It was intened for another Phoenix Wright, but I desided to keep it. I don't know how long ago this was, but I started working at a place called Fey and Co Science&Law. There, something went wrong in a science experiment, and the next thing I know I'm shooting at a weird alien thing with a grenade launcher as I beat at headcrabs with a crowbar. Following that, I was approached by a man in a visor. I was in subway car surrounded by darkness. He gave me a choice. Either go to a battle where I cannot win, or to be taken out of reality until I'm needed. I went for the latter. Now, I was approached again. Portions of my memory are still away, but with every sight I see, things are coming back. Now, the train has stopped. TIme to get off.)

To be continued.

---

*sighs*

MY SIIIIIG!!!!!!!!!!

---

Don't you think something should be done about all these bats in the courthouse?
Bats? What bats?

Ooooohhhhh. THOSE bats.

---

District Court #1
10:00am, July 31
: "We are about to begin. Is the Defense ready?"
: "Yes, Your Honor."
: "And the Prosecution?"
: "Of course, Your Honor."
: "Let me see... we are here for the trial of... Balrog. Balrog, please take the stand"
: "(Balrog? Does he mean the boxer? Or the monster from Lord of the Rings... Maybe the CR forum user? Hmm...)"
: "HUZZAH!"
/ / : "...!?"
: "What? What'd I do? Do I have something on my face?"
: "(I should have known a trial where the state picks me as the defendant's attorney would be a bad thing.)"
: "Urm, let us begin the trial. Prosecution, any opening statements?"
: "..."
: "Prosecution!"
: "Erm, yes your h-honor. On July 4th, the thing-- er, defendant was found playing with high-grade explosives. We recommend the death penalty-- NOW!"
: "!"
: "Wait Edgeworth! You haven't proven anything! At least let the defendant testify!"
: "Alright, Balrog, please tell us what you were doing with the Fireworks that day."

: "I never played with any of the fire works.
I can spit rockets out of my mouth.
See- *BLARGH!*"
: "AAH!" *Rocket'd!*

: "...um, Mr. Wright you may begin your cross examination."

: "Mr. Balrog, could you tell me that last part."
: "Sure"
: See- *BLARGH!*"
: "No not agaAAH!!" *Rocket'd 2!*

: "Hmmm... I may need to hear that last part a few times more... maybe like around 500?"
: "Right! Ready..."
: "Oh dear god no...."

---

It followed me home, can I keep it?

RAAAAAAWR!!!

---

----THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS----

Well, it's that time of year again!
Eat nick out of house and home day?
Harass Foolishly Foolish Fools day?
No and no. (That's pretty much EVERY day to you two... )
Bah, humbug...
Yup, it's Christmas time! You know what that means!
"Special" eggnog?
Creepy-hobodoctorguy? How the hell did you get in here?
Oh, he just came to drop off a few things for my alone time-
Okay, too much information. So Christmas time, you guys, means-
PRESENTS!
Coal!
Mardi Gras beads...eheh...yes...
Will you get out of here? Anywats, the meaning of Christmas is-
Wright, you're never going to finish that sentence at this rate.
You're not exactly helping, Edgeworth! So the meaning of Christmas is... um...
SWIMMING!
AUGH!!!! SCREW ALL Y'ALL! I'M GOING TO CELEBRATE HANUKKAH!
Nick, Hanukkah's over already.
...-goes to cry in a corner-

Gee!It sure burns when I pee!
Whaaat?
IT BUUUURNS! When I pee!
Mystic Maya?
The Magatama promises that Phoenix got prostate cancer.
*OH NO! face*
*still weird smile face*
Great!
And it's advanced.
*OH NO! face*
*weird smile face*
Grea-
You're going to die.
*OH NO! face*
Fuck.
Hmm..
How can we help?
It is writen,that only BELGIAN WAFFLES! can defeat prostate cancer.
I'm going to Gamelon to find BELGIAN WAFFLESS!
If you don't here from me IN A SECOND!,Phoenix will DIE.
Oh boy!I can't wait to pee spaghetti!
*One Month Later*
GIMME ALL THE BELGIAN WAFFLES I CAN GET WITH THIS MONEYYY!
OKAY!*Slices a fish in half with hair*
*LATER STILL*
You're doing great,Phoenix.
You're our hero.
Here's some belgian waffles.
*STILL LATER STILL*
What happened?
Hehehe!
Nothing,Phoenix.We were just about to have PROSTATE EXAMS.
It is writen only Phoenix can give the judge REGULAR PROSTATE EXAMS.
GREAT!I'll grab my stuff!
OHOHOHOHO!
heeheehee!


Hello,and welcome to Crazy Criminals.We put wanna-be criminals in rooms that have stuff BEGGING to be stolen.
Today's wanna-be is Kyle Hyde.Kyle Hyde has stolen countless amounts of crowbars,red boxes,Men's Magazine's,and towels from hotels.Let's put him in a empty room with a jewel bigger than him.

...Huh?
It's warm in here.
..Whoa,lookit that jewel.It'd look great in that empty spot at my house..
I mean,it's clean,it's shiny,it's big.....I'm definitely taking it with me.
*Hyde begins to push the jewel.*

*All of the men from the PW games pop out of the walls*
SURPRISE,MOTHERFUCKER!
What the flying fuck?
Fuck-fuckity-fuck-fuck!
FUCK!FUCK!
fuckfuckfuck..
STOP SAYING FUCK,YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS.IT'S FUCKING ALMOST CHRISTMAS FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
I'M JEWISH,YOU FUCKWIT.
SHUT THE FUCK UP,ALL OF YOU!
Shut up,shut up,shut up!All of you!
Well!Mr.Hyde,what were you doing with that jewel?
..Hugging it?
Wrong,Mr.Hyde.You see,you're on live television.
Is this a joke?
No.It is no joke.Do you know what your punishment is?
I get off scot-free?
Wrong again,Mr.Hyde.You get DEATH.
Death by SNU-SNU.
Right.First,the short ones get you.Then,the tall.Then,the fat,then,the flamboyant,then,the strong..
*later*
I THINK WE KILLED HIIIIM!
...
DAMNIT I DIDN'T GET MY TURN!
So,uhh...we killed him.Do we still put the footage?
Yes.All of it.
Where?
On the internet.In the schools.In the bookstores.In the planes.In the homes.EVERYWHERE.
Huhuhuh,sure.


..
And that's how we can afford this house.
Wow.You took part in a murder.
That's why I'm the best hobo-dad in the world.
Wait.You have a house.You aren't a hobo anymore.
........
YESSSSSSSS!

---

Futurama.

---

TURNABOUT RED VS. BLUE

Episode 1: Why are we here?

Hey.
Yeah?
You ever wonder why were here?
Thats one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidense, or is there really a god watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff? I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night.
What? I meant why are we out here in this canyon?
Oh... uh... Yeah.
What was all that stuff about god?
Uhh... hm? Nothing.
You wanna talk about it?
No.
You sure?
Yeah.
Seriously though. Why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. With no way in or out.
Mm-hmm?
And the only reason we have a red base over here, is because they have a blue base over there. And the only reason they have a blue base over there is because we have a red base over here.
Yeah, thats because we're fighting each other.
No, no. I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they were to take over our base, they would have two bases in a box canyon. Whoopty freakin doo.
Whats up with that, anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole covonent armoda, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys.
*meanwile*
*looking through sniper rifle at Odoroki and Phoenix*
What are they doing?
What!?
I said what are they doing now?
GOD DANG! I'm getting sick of answering that question!
You got the rifle and I can't see crap! So don't yell at me, 'cause I'm not just gonna sit here and do nothing all day.
Okay, look. They're just standing there and talking. Okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do is stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So five minutes from now, when you ask "What are they doing?" my answers gonna be "They're still just talkin', and they're still just standin' there."
.....................What are they talkin' about?
You know what? I freakin' hate you.
*Back at red base*
Talk about a waist of resources. I mean, we shoud be out there findin' new and intelligent forms of life. You know, fight them.
Yeah, no duh. That's why they should put us in charge.
LADIES! FRONT AND CENTER!! ON THE DOUBLE!!!
Crap... YES SIR!

---

Great, now I'm picturing Godot as Master Chief in Halo. And he's using a really lame weapon like a coffee gun or something....

Including the dead ones?! =O

---

Why is it that gets 3 smilies and other one case caratures olny get one?
He dident even exist in the first relise of the game.
I'm staying silent about that.


_____________________________________________________________
The folowing joke is bad and a bit disturbing.




Distirbing, I know
______________________________________________________________________________________
Sientificly speaking, there is a cure for your bad luck.

WHAT, WHAT?

Go ram your head agents the wall over 9000 times.

Ok

-----------------------------------------------
over 9000 head rams later....

Am I cured?

Sientificly speaking , no. But now we need a cure for how gulible you are.

________________________________________________________________________


Why are you so sad?

They recaled tons of instant noodles that were made in china because they contain lead.


_________________________________________________________

And now for somthing compleatly diffrent. A question form our vewers. Is human?

Error 404 Not found.

Ok
______________________________________________________________

Hi mm yes mm. Do you need a exam? *drool*

DIE EVIL NON DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!

*in pain*AAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Every female on the planet: YAY!
_____________________________________________

---

TURNABOUT RED VS. BLUE

Episode 2: Red gets a delivery

Hurry up ladies. This ain't no ice cream social.
Ice cream social?
Stop the silly talk you two. Anyone want to guess.. why I gathered you here... today?
Umm... Is it because the wars over and you're sending us home?
That's exeactly it privet. Wars over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero And we're gonna hold a big parade in you're honor. I get to drive the float, and Phoenix here IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!!
I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.
GOD DANGIT, PRIVET! You better shut your mouth or else I'll have Phoenix slit your throut while you sleep!
Oh, I'd do it too.
I know you would, Phoenix. Good man. Couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here in Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1.
Crap. We're getting a rookie.
Thats right, dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we recieved the first part of our shipment from command. *turns around* Marshal! Bring out the vehicle.
*drives up in a jeep*
Shotgun!
Shotgun! Crap.
May I introduce our new light reconisence vehicle. Four inch armar plating, mass bumper suspention, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentilemen! This is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.
Why a warthog, sir?
Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
No, but why a warthog? I mean, it doesn't even look like a pig.
Say that again?
I think it looks more like a puma.
What on earth is a puma!?
Uhhh... You mean like the shoe company?
No, like a puma. It's a big cat. Like a lion.
You're makin' that up.
I'm tellin' you, its a real animal.
Phoenix, I want you to poison Apolo's next meal.
Yes, sir!
Look! See these two tow hooks? They look like tusks. And what kind of animal has tusks?
A walrus.
Didn't I just tell you to stop makin' up animals?

*Meanwhile*

*Looking through sniper rifle*

What is that thing!?
I dunno. It looks like they have some kind of car down there. We better get back to the base and report it.
A car!? How come thet get a car!?
What are you complainin' about, man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop!
You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
You know what? You could complain about anything, couldn't you? We're about to get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up, man!? And secondly, how are we gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?
What kind of car is it?
I dunno. I've never seen a car like that before. It looks like a big cat of some kind.
What, like a puma?
Yeah, man! There you go.

*back at red base*

Now, unless anybody has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with... the warthog. How about it Apolo?
No, sir. No more suggestions.
Are you sure? How about Bigfoot?
It's okay.
Unicorn?
No, really, I'm cool.
Sasquach?
Leprichan?
Hey, he doesn't need any help.
Moltres?
Oh my god...
Hey, Phoenix, whats the name of that Mexican lizard that eats all the goat?
That would be the chupicabra, sir.
Hey, Apolo! Chupithingy! How 'bout that? I like it. Got a ring to it.

---

Yes,even the dead ones.
I don't know if it's necrophilia,I'm not sure at all.

...SAY,MISSILE.
:missile:Yes?
How many licks to the center of a tootsie pop?
:missile:GO FUCK YOURSELF,THAT JOKE SUCKS.
I'm sueing you for harrasment.Seeya later!

..So,Polly.How many licks to the center of a tootsie pop?
*SQUAWK!*Let's find out! One...two...three!*CRACK!*
You fucker!You killed my tootsie pop!

..Mr.Manella,how many licks to the---
MMM-MM!I'M GONNA EAT J00,KITTY-CAT!
PLEEEEASE DON'T EAT THAT CAT!
*gobble munch munch*
OH,THE HUMANITY!F.F...F...
FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOUUU!



Say,I've always wondered.Why does Nothing To Hyde curse a lot in his unfunnies?
Well...
One day,in a galaxy two days away...

Nothing To Hyde used to be a funny man in his regular life.
He then found Phoenix Wright.
Using internet memes such as Gant Raep time,he chopped and sliced popular and funny memes.
He un-popularized them.He didn't make funnies,he made....unfunnies.
Whooooooooah.
Now,if you excuse me,I must be leaving.

Hello,Grodyburger!
...hello,Redd..
I got you another ring,Grodyburger.Will it make up for that painting?
uhhh.....

AND SO,NOTHING TO HYDE DIED OF UNFUNNINESS.
PHOENIX WRIGHT WAS FOUND WITH A FOLDER FULL OF / .
"It's not mine!"he exclaimed.
Back to you,GlaDOS!
Here at the Apeture Science Research facility,we promise you,SUBJECT NAMES HERE,that there will be rainy skies.Maybe it is the tears of those who burned their companion cubes.
FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME,GLADOS..IT'S NOT APETURE SCIENCE.INTO THE INCINERATOR!
NOOO!YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME,subject name here!!

---

Dullahan1 Presents: Phoenix Finds the True Meaning of Christmas!!! Episode 3

Welcome everyone. In today's special episode, we discuss what it feels like to discover love for the first time. Love is a wonderful, powerful emotion, only proven stronger when one sticks his man parts into a little girl's..... oh..... wait. My bagel is done. Gant is going to need his alone time now. Anyways, on with the episode.

---------------------------
*on the airplane, it has yet to take off*

Hello there friends!!!

Remind me why we brought you along! You totally gayified our last adventure.

I'm just here for the....

Ladies.

Eh???

You're here for the ladies..... like the flight attendants, right?

Oh wow!!!! You're psychic Nick!!!! Read my palm!!!

Heck no!!!! I don't even wanna know where that hand has been. As obsessed with women as you are, I'm sure you are dirtying that hand as much as Gant dirties an elementary school girl.

Why must you reveal all my secrets Nick?

I can't wait to meet Santa!!! Then maybe I can ask for a beautiful face!!!!

I'll ask for a brain!

I wanna ask for courage!!!

There's no place like home, there's no place like home.

Can it Nick!!! We're on the plane and there is no turning back!

Pilot on loudspeaker: Attention passengers, buckle up!!!! We are about to take off. Next stop, Alaska.

W...W...What the heck!!!??? I thought we were heading to the North Pole.

Um... actually.... airports don't exist in the North Pole so...

Just like Santa Claus.

What??? Say it ain't so Nick!!! Say it ain't so!!!

"Saint" Nick here is just peeved because he's not as popular as other Nicks. Santa is real!!!

Just like intimate intercourse!!!

What?!?!?

Well.... mommy told me where babies come from. She told me that intercourse was a myth and that the stork was real, but I know better. I watched the Discovery Channel.

No more late night pornos for you kid.

*plane takes off, and surprisingly, everyone is safe and sound*

This trip sucks. My life sucks. This plane sucks. Maya sucks. This whole idea sucks!!! I so full of lawyer angst right now that I feel like taking it out on the next person that talks to me.

Hey Nick, can I...

SHUT IT YOU OVERSIZED TURD BOMB!!!!

D....D....Do you need a hug, Nick?

I don't want a hug!!!!! Now leave me alone before I rip out your intestines and decide to skip rope with them before wrapping them around your neck and using them as a neuce to hang you and end your poor pathetic life!!!! GAH!!!!

W....Why must you hurt me in this way Nick???

I'm heading to the restroom.... *leaves*

He may need help!!! *follows Phoenix*

So..... do you think I'll ever find true love little one???

Yes.... yes you will Mr. WP. I'm a great matchmaker. See Mr. Nick and Mystic Maya? I put those two together, and they have been happy ever since....

*by the bathrooms*

For the last time Maya, I am not joining the Mile High Club!!!!

But it will be fun!!! Think of all the free discounts you'll have for joining. *wink wink*

No thanks. I'm fine just the way I am and.... *door opens*

*comes out of bathroom door* Yes!!! I have done it! I have had my alone time and now I am apart of the special branch of the Mile High Club, entitled, the Mile High Club Solo Mas...

GET OUT OF HERE YOU PERVERT!!!! *kicks Edgeworth down the aisle when another door opens up*

*comes out of the door* Ahh.... it felt great to eh..... renew my membership.....

*comes out of the door* I sure did get "high" alright. Aha! Aha! Aha!!!

*comes out of the door* So.... many.... painful.... memories....

*comes out of the door* Reminds me of my youth..... my hemmoroids ache so much now...

*comes out of the door* I got ripped off!!! That wasn't the Nickel Samurai, and now I am all sore!!!

*pops head out of the door* Anybody else wanna join this exclusive club???

Suddenly I don't have to go anymore....

I love you Nick.

Shut up slut.

*back at the seats*

See what I mean??? They are so made for each other!!!

I think I lost my appetite.

Eww..... that reminds me of the time when I was dreaming that I was having a gay love fest with...

I don't care about your gay dreams Larry!!!

Oh Nick..... you're back.... you know, its not my fault I have gay dreams!!!! I'm sure every straight guy has them at least once.

I never did.

................. I'm normal I tell you!!! Normal!!!

Just like my appetite.

I'm not even gonna comment...

I'm hungry, I want a burger.

All they offer on planes on peanuts and in-flight movies.

NO!!!! I'm going to die!!! Wait..... what's the in-flight movie?

My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!!

Are you sure those two get along lil' Pearly???

Trust me, I may be naive and oblivious, but I know well enough as to what goes on around me, and those two definitely got it made.

Ok......wait, what???

When will the plane land??? This trip has already sucked what little sanity I have left.

In another 3 hours. That's right Nick. For 3 more hours, you're stuck with me, and if you want, you can play dress up with me. I'm all for it.

JANE!!!! STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!!!

----------------------------------
And so the adventure comes to a halt for today.... much like me making love to my homemade bagel. It's times like these where I look back and cry. I miss the old days where bagels had much more stamina.... and they could talk.... and turn funny colors.... wait.... maybe I'm thinking of the 60s. It was a shame Wrighto didn't want to partake in my club activities. Just wait until he sees all the fun things I would do to him. That masculine, young, handsome man. I would oil up his skin, lick every inch of his aching body, hear him moan and..... oh yay!!! My eclaires are ready!!!! I just love the cream filling, if you catch my drift. I shall see you all later. *puts on a cheesy hero costume* Super Ganto!!! Up! Up! And away!!! *runs into a lamp* Oh ho ho ho!!!

---

why...won't...they...stop...staring...

---

What is this, Kyoko-sama?
KLOWN!!!
And what do we do with clowns?
JUMP ON!!
And why do we jump on them?
MAKE FUNNY NOISE!!!
oh shit...

EDIT: Fixed image for Eva Unit 01, hopefully...

---

Last edited by laserpotato on Sun Dec 16, 2007 11:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I just thought of an interesting little scenario...but since it contains spoilers I have no choice but to use the tags

---

What do you think the meaning of chrismass is?

COFFIE!
WHIPING FOOLS!
LITLE CHILDREN!
BURGERS!
ALONE TIME!!!


And you?
Im sataying silent about that.

-------------------------------------------------------------
And thats how I became a hobo.

Say what?

Im sataying silent about that.

---

Im staying silent about- *punched*
Will you shut up about that!?
I would have yelled- *punched again*
TAKE THAT!

---

Okay, let me start playing.

(starts playing, but the air guitar is so horrendously out of tune)

Who's the guy that messed with my air guitar?

I thought it was food, pal.

(thinking: Wow, this doesn't make a pint of sense.)

---

I'm gonna become an official hobo...I just gotta find a freight train to stowaway in.
That's just stupid.
TOOOOOOOT!!!

C'mon, hop in!
Unfortunately, this train happened to be carrying...

Awww man, I HATE aparagus!
Told you this was stupid.

---

Last edited by laserpotato on Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

District Court #4, Defense's Lounge
September 0th, 11:50 a.m.
: "Hmmm... seems like an easy enough case."
: "Are you prepared this time. We don't want another fiasco like the Balrog-Trial."
: "(Note to self: steal Mayas burger money-)"
: "What was that nick?"
: "N-nothing (How the hell can she hear my inner monologue!?)"
: "Becasue you say it out loud. You do that every case, each time you have blue tex-"
: "FOURTH WALL!"
: "..."
: "You saw nothing."

District Court #4, Courtroom
September 0th, 12:00 a.m.
: "Are we ready to begin? Defense? Prosecution?"
/ : "Yes, your honor."
: "Does the prosecution have any opening statements?"
: "Just one your honor: Trite!"
: "Y-yes?"
: "When you lose, you will swear your loyalty to coffee!"
: "Um, I meant statement about the ca-"
: "I call my first witness, who was at the scene when the crime took place."
: "...Very well... bring in the witness..."


: "W-what the...!"
: "Name and your occupation."
: "Zero. I'm a member of the Resistance force."
: "Describe the events."

: "The defendant was launched in a high-powered rocket, which I boarded.
Upon entering the control chamber, I was... distracted,
and the rocket with the defendant in it crashed
into the Neo Arcadian city and killed thousands."

: "The defense may begi-"

: "Your honor, who is the defendant for this case!"
: "Nick! I thought you said you were prepared!"
: "... the defense has a point. I have yet to see the defendant for this case."
: "Very well. Bring in the defendant."

: "GRRAAAWR..."

: "Nick... we're screwed, aren't we?"
: "Your honor!"
: "Y-yes!"
: "I happen to have here a walkthrough for the game Megaman Zero 3, which these characters are clearly members of. It says here that the defendant DID in fact result in the death of millions."
: "I see. With evidence like this, I see no reason to continue."

: "I hereby find the defendant, GUI-"

: "GRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!"

: "IHerebyFindTheDefendant PleaseDon'tKillMe!!!"

: "Meh, a win's a win."

---

WHAT'S THAT MAN DOING TO HIS BOTTOM?!
HOW CAN IT STRETCH SO?!

---

Last edited by laserpotato on Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

holey shoot I might think I spent nearly one hour reading only one page of this