Same great taste. But on the new forum.

Here is a link to the old topic on the soon to be archived forums for reference and stuff.

http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_records/index.php?showtopic=1442&st=0

Anyway, get going with this, people. I'll post one of my own soon. Tired and lazy right now.

Will edit this post later so I sound less like a lazy slacker.

Okay, borrowing one from Ansem Retort:

[[after PW 1]]
Why do I get the feeling this is merely the prelude to much greater conflict?

I'M A FRICKIN GOD!

Oh yeah, that's why.

---

My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Meow.
Cute kitty! *leans over* AAHHH! No!
*gulp*
Now my cat's breath smells like Pearls.

---

:Thank you but our princess is in another castle.

---

:Sucker...

---

*in phoenix's office*

hey there edgeworth old rival, old chum!

wright.... cut it out with the formalities...

uh huh.... so whaddya think of the new court records forum so far?

pretty good considering that no one has placed me totally out of character yet about me needing my alone time.

heh heh. pretty crazy, right?

*looks at tv* hey wright, whats that youre watching there?

huh? oh!!! why only my favorite show of all time!!! hot lesbians wrestling each other in frilly lingerie, why?

.............. edgey needs his alone time!!! *runs to the bathroom*

..... i think this joke has been carried way too far....

(is shot for making a first attempt at a funny ><)

---

Edgey needs his alone time..... with FFXII!

---

It's time for a dark look at some of the darkest, most shocking truths about the Phoenix Wright cast.

Phoenix Wright: SECRETS

: The dot on my head....it's...not really a mole. It's...velcro. I was using it to make sure my toupee stays on and put it in the wrong place. What, can't a man make a mistake? It's not like I killed anyo...oh. Right...

: The only reason I act like a cowboy is because...my friends used to make me perform Village People covers for school talent shows. The worst part was when I forgot to wear jeans under my chaps for the Macho Man performance....

: This...isn't really my hair. I had cinnamon buns grafted onto my head when I was 7. To this day, my head smells like a bakery.

: I LIKE SQUEEZING WIMMINS! ( : GAH! How shameless can you get?!) What, you mean I was supposed to say something people didn't already know?

: I am your god. Worship me.

: This isn't my real hair. I had to have a broom grafted onto my head when I was 7. To this day... ( : What's wrong with all of you, were you all born bald or something?)

: My name is Yanni Yogi. I was the baliff for....wait, you already know this?...oh, right, I'm already in jail........this sucks.

: I was Mas... ( : ENOUGH! WE GET IT! ALONE TIME! TMI!)

---

You're not going to have anything like Edgey's alone time, are you?

Oh don't worry about that. I have my Odoroki time.

That's much worse.

You say that now but just wait until I get you out of the closet.

You won't need to. I've been warned to stay away from Franzisca.

Huh?

So how else are you not related, but actually have a clear similarity, to the other prosecutors?

Well, you know how Godot is addicted to coffee? Wait until you see what I'm addicted to!

I see.

The answer may or may not include you.

Right...

---

Let me try one...

how did you got arrested again?
why would I know! they got me from my house and put me here
so, do you have a clue who would do that?
well, could be Franzisca because of some "things" I did to her and her whip, or Gumshoe because of some kind of relationship...
*after 15 minutes*
and von Karma killed my father and tried to put me in jail!
I know that! I defended you, remember? ok... let me try another question: What were you doing yesterday night?
I was mas...
THAT'S IT! You're on your on now!
C'mon, I know you have alone times in front of your computer!
OBJECTION! It's not alone time! It's my Phoenix Wright Wack the Mole Power Hour!
TMI...

---

Hey Edgey, guess what?

What is it? Do I get to have my alone time?

Errmmmmm.... NO!

We have a new Phoenix Wright form!

Where?



Welcome to the new forms. Don't forget to investigate scientifically!

: Edgeworth! Edgeeeeeeeeeeworth!?

: I was-

: Quiet! I was NOT looking for your underwear drawer, and when I did NOT find it, there was THIS!

: What?

: An entire folder full of pictures of you and Manfred and your father in the lift!

: Well, if you had found those earlier, you'd have saved me a lot of time in case 4.

: I mean Manfred reaaaaaaaally wouldn't want anyone to see these...

: Wha-! Give me thaaaaaaat!!!

: Here you are...

: Edgey needs his alone time right now.



One hour later

: Look, edgey, come out of the bathroom. It can't take that long!

:......

Just open the door.

:......

: That's it!

:

*door smashes*

: Ah, now I know what that gunshot was from...Wah!

: Mmmmmmm.....

: Why are you in my bathroom, you.... *looks* OhmygodwhatareyoudoingandcanIaskyouplease washuptheblood?

: *raises tazer* You know, that's what Miles said...except he didn't say blood.

: Would you mind giving me the tazer and leaving the bathroom? I need to kill myself now.

: Oh goody! Three of us! This will be fun!

: On second thoughts, I think I'm going to set myself on fire, blow myself up, and then detonate the building.

: Please?

: NO!

: *shoots* Oh well...... This will be fun!

: You're right! *stabs* What joy! It's like my old days with Bruce and Zeke!

Having alone time, having alone time, having alone time...

It's bad enough that you insist on using my facilities to do it, you could at least keep quiet while you're in there.

Shut up, Penix Wright. Yes, I went there. Having alone time, having alone time, having...

Tonight. You.

...

And how did you escape from the pound?

That ought to take him down a notch.

---

Scientifically speaking, I became hot!
You can say that again... *drools*
*slaps Odoroki*
OW! What was that for?
She's a married woman
YEAH!
Wait, what? You married her too?! What the hell!
Umm... see, we went to Vegas to play poker, and we got a little drunk
Ahh, but that doesn't count. Polygamy is illegal!
True. Except that I married her first!
GAAH! I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Eh, let them fight. I'll sneak off with you, honeybuns.
Yay!
*Ema and Minuki run out of the courtroom, while Hobohodo and Edgey continue pummelling each other*
I'm going to Royal Flush your ass down the toilet!
NO SWIRLIES!
*flush*
Damn, now I lost the hot legal aide AND the hot detective
Don't worry. I will take you...
...
...
... um, isn't that only half of the phrase?
Nope. (does best impression)
Crap.

---

Well I once drowned a whole litter of puppies.

Ah, drowning, what a classic!

Pshaw. I once drove an entire family to suicide.

Haha! How splendifirous!

Feh, that's nothing. I managed to get scores of innocent people sentenced to death.

Ah, one of the little things that make it all worthwhile, eh?

A little thing indeederificalicious. I made sure decent people commited heinous crimes.

Ah, that's a great way to fill some time before breakfast I always felt.

I made out with a girl once.

...

...

...

Oh, that's just wrong.


=====

And now for something totally obvious.

=====

Hello. My name is Miles Edgeworth. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Stop saying that!

---

Hooray- A really, really unfunny funny to welcome you to the forums!
Hey guys, what's up?
Ah, the scent of my youth. Like the smell of fresh lemons, you see.
I will take you!
Hey, pal!
Ayup.
Meow.
That's my rule. COFFEE!111!!2!1
*long stare*
Foolishly foolish fool.
*creepy smile*
Splendifirous!
l33t speek
...Why does it seem everyone has a catchphrase except me?
That's not true, I don't have a catchphrase. Or more than 3 expressions.
Yeah- we'll stick together, Edgey! We'll be stay together forever, right?
(Must...think...of...catchphrase!) Umm... As much as I'd love to stay with you Phoenix, I'm afraid I actually do have a catchphrase!
O NOZ! What is it?
Why, Edgey Alone Time of course! (Yes- Finally found a use for looking like a pervert! Better tell de Killer to hold off the search for Pudding...)
No. That isn't a catchphrase. It isn't even in the game!
Yes, but it's all over the internet!
That really didn't sound good...
Anyway, it is a catchphrase. And if you don't let me go, I'll get Franziska.
OK, OK. No need to get the angry lesbian with the whip over here.
See you, Wright!
I'm all alone...
...
Awwww, who's a cute dog!
Look, if he gets 'Edgey Alone Time' I get 'Tonight. You.' *runs away*
Now I really am alone...
Hey, I can get a pretty good view of Adrian & Franziska from here... I think I need some 'Phoenix Alone Time'!
Don't steal my catchphrase!
Dammit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will Phoenix ever find a catchphrase? Will Edgeworth let Phoenix borrow his? Will Pudding be murdered by de Killer?!?
You'll find out in the next installment of Impulse's Awful Funnies!
NOTE- There will never be another installment in Impulse's Awful Funnies. Tommorow Impulse will die, after being run over by a monster truck driven by the Incredible Hulk. Or, she won't be arsed to write another Funny. Either way.

---

Huh? Sorry, I didn't know that when you press edit on this thing it makes a whole new post. *feels n00bish*
Hey, at least we're all n00bs here!

---

Witness name and occupation please.
Uhh Detective Gumshoe, I uhh detect things.
Please testify as to what you saw. I'm enjoying this. Wheeee trial.
Okay, pal.


Now I was standing in the viewing bit of the court, pal. Then this guy just started saying corck all fo a sudden. Can I please direct your attention to this map I drew (I make these often) If you look at the witness stand the defendant was here, when he said the C word. Now I was standing here in the viewing area while you guys were in your usual places.

End of testimony

My god!
Huh?
What an insight no wodner your a top detectorive.
You must be kidding
WHAT A CROCK!
SHUT UP!
I see no room for judgement, the court judges the defendant..
OBJECTION! You can't judge this man guilty for one reason
And what reason may that be? I have decisive evidence. The defendants murder weapon is in my possesion
OBJECTION! How this isn't a murder! Besides he's a scribble they can't murder, only casue to cease existin....
Where'd Wright GO!
BRADLEY!
Can we charge him with the murder of Wright?
DIBS PROSECUTOR!
DIBS DEFENSE!
Damn! Ooo cat fight!


Yeah this sucked.

REAL MEN OF GENIUS!

Reeeaal men of Geniuus~

Today we salute you, Mister way too much cologne wearer.

Mister way-too-much-cologne Weeeaaara~

Like a bullhorn, your cologne announces your arrival...four blocks before you get there.

*is four blocks away*

Here he comes now~

Here a splish, there a splash everywhere a splish splash you don't stop until every square inch of manhood is covered.

Everywhere a splish splash

Over slept and haven't got time to shower? not to worry you have 4 gallons of cologne..and a plan.

Pour it on~!

Crack open a cold budlight Mister way too much cologne wearer, cause we think we smell a winner

Mister way-too-much-cologne WEEEAARA~~~

Can I get into my office?

---

I like, didn't kill him.

You foolish fool. That testimony is a solid as a rock.

There's a contradiction Phoenix. And you have the evidence to prove it.

(Yes! There is is! Now I just have to object!)

Do it Phoenix!

BOOBIES!

Oh crap. Did I just say that?

We have to investigate this room. Give me a second to pick the lock.
Or we could use my experience and break the door down.
*crouching over and picking the lock* I wouldn't advise doing that.
*breaks down door*
....Well, now everyone knows we're here.

---

The real reason Phoenix took Case 5 in the 1st game:

*Is wearing a mustache*
*Is wearing a mustache*
I don't think this is gonna work out.
WHAT!?!? WHY!?
You said it'd be a vacation, Wright. A vacation from ourselves.
But..
Wright, it's time you took a case.
*sob*

10 cool points for whoever knows where I got that and then hideously mangled D:

---

Channel 22:

*Gant, Meekins, Jake and Goodman Walk Out of Bar*

:Hey Gant, You can't that drink that outside, your going to end up in jail. And not like the good jail on Cinemax, the man jail.

:Go Back and Pay The Bill, Gant. You don’t wanna break the law.

:I can do whatever I want, Watch This! *Steps on Grass*

: Oh, Now Your Just Being Crazy.

Random Cop: Hey, That’s against the law, Your Coming with me!

Can't touch me!

Ju-ju-ju-ju-just like that bad guy
From Lethal Weapon 2
I've got diplomatic immunity, so Hammer, you can't sue
I can write graffiti, even jaywalk in the street
I can riot, loot, not give a hoot
and touch your mother's teat
: What in God's name is he doing?
: I believe that's the worm.

Stop! Gant-time!
I'm a big shot, there's no doubt
Light a fire and pee it out
Don't like it, kiss my rump
Just for a minute let's all do the Bump

Yeah do the Damon Gant bump

I'm Chief Gant, interns think I'm hot
Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot
I've been around the world, from Hartford to Lake Gourdy
It's Gant, go Gant, MC Gant, yo Gant, let's see Karma rap this way
(Can't touch me)

: *Points to * Except For You, You Can Touch me.

*claps*

(I think most of you know where I got this from )

at least now i have a better idea of what the lyrics are ^^..... (too lazy to go look em up)

---

: First of all, I will say for the record, I don't believe in all that moisturizer, botox, fountain of youth poopycock!
: Oh please, Judge, how else could you look like you do at a hundred?

---

Ya know, sometimes I feel like im just in some game, and Im being controlled by some sweaty guy on a couch.



no offense, yall.

---

none taken ^_^
LMAO

---

Ridley, that comes from Seinfeld, IIRC. In one episode, Jerry and George grow mustaches and the above exchange (or something like it) occurs.

Yes! 10 cool points! I've moved up in the world!

Hey Phoenix... what does the scouter say about Croik's coolness level?

: It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND

What? Nine Thousand?

I've got a long way to go.

---

- Fenix, it's not Nine Thousand, it's

There was something disturbingly familiar about the note on the desk. The handwriting was all pretty curves.
"You're in a computer game, Max."
The truth was like a green crack through my brain. Weapon statistics floating in the air, glimpsed out of the corner of my eye. the repetitious act of shooting, time slowing down to show off my moves. The paranoid feeling of someone controlling my every step. I was in a computer game. Funny as Hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of.

---

- Yay, new forum!
- SPAM TIME!
& - lolinternetpostcount++hayagirlletscyberallyourbasearebelongtousomgifoundjesusitsover9000lolsoulstealingomfg4chan
- BAN TIME!
- (user was banned for this post)
- (user was banned for copying the above banee.)

So, Kyouya... Looks like I've found your weakness.

Uh, yeah. Whatever. What are you talking about, anyways?

TAKE THAT! *Presents video game console*

HOLY COW!!! IT'S A WIISTATION 3!!!

I'll give it to you if you stop taking me to random places when I'm investigating with Minuki, okay? HEY!!! WAIT! DON'T TURN IT ON--

Hehehe! Switch goes on, switch goes off, switch goes on, switch goes o--

*Freaky vortex appears*

and AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!

*The two get sucked into an alternate dimension*

GAME 1: COURTOOM! CLASH OF THE NINJA!

Uh... Where am I--

Head's up! *Throws Shadow Kunai at Odoroki* Hmph. How troublesome. You ARE going to fight back, aren't you? Well?

Housuke is too much of a coward to fight back, I'll have you know. Now, who are you and where are--

*Throws Renkudan at Kyouya* HIYAAH!!! Hey! Shikamaru! Don't forget, this is a tag match. Now! Who should I pulverize with Four-Tailed Kyuubi Crusher Claw first?

Hmph. How troublesome... Aim for the kid who looks like a cockatiel.

Haha! You're their target! Nananananana!

... Then transform into full Kyuubi mode and kill the blonde.

and ... RUN!!!

*Both run, and a new vortex appears*


GAME 2: COURTOOM MONSTERS - DIAMOND VERSION -

We finally escaped!

Yeah... Thanks to me.

WHAT?! But you squealed like a little girl when that guy turned into a freaky fox with multiple tails! In fact, I think I took a picture of it! HA! Wait till your brother sees this on MySpace!

I'll have you know that's against the law! Taking photos against someone's will--

Quiet, you! I'll go find an Inter--

RUUU-KAAA-RIYOOOO!!!

GAH! What's that?!

Wild Rukario appeared! Housuke! I choose you!

Wait! What the--

HADOUDAN!!!

AAAAARRRGGHH!!!

Foe Rukario used Hadoudan! A critical hit! It's super effective! Housuke is such a noobish Pokémon!

Who are you calling noobish?! PASSIONATE HEART BURNING RED!!!

Housuke used Flamethrower! It's super effective! Now! Go, PokéBall! Gotcha! Rukario was captured! Rukario's data has been added to the PokéDex! Housuke did such a terrible job at attacking!

You're really enjoying this, aren't you?

Didn't you know? I LOVED playing Pokémon when I was--

Quiet, you! Let's just get out of here before some other deranged Steel/Fighting Kangaroo Jackal attacks me.

*New vortex appears. Poof go the two*


GAME 3: GYAKUTEN SAIBAN LOL

We're... We're back in the Courtroom! Thank goodness!

Hmm... Is it me, or does the Courtroom look a little... different today?

Please don't do anything stupid, please don't do anything stupid, please don't... HOLY CRAP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

:nixxi: Ooh my little pretty one, my pretty one! When you gonna give me some time, Chinami?

...

What the? Naruhodou-san! Is that him? NO WAI! Kyouya... Are we in some sort of... warped time-space continuum?

Hehehe...

What's so funny?

Allow me to direct your attention to the little boy in the stands.

YOUNG Mommy? Are prosecutors bad people?

ACK!!! That does it, let's find another way back! ... And by that, I mean avoiding certain events that could embarrass me!

*Vortex appears... You know the drill*


GAME 4: MINUKI OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING

Where the heck are we this time?

It appears we're in some sort of Fantasy Adventure Game...

Snicker snicker.

And what are you laughing at, Housuke?

Oh, nothing... Except for the fact that you're dressed up like some sort of elf with a bow and arrow and a HUUUUGE dagger!

... At least my main weapon isn't attached to my scalp.

*Objectives screen appears*

Looks like we're going to have to break into that castle... We need to save a princess.

HOLD IT! Princess? I thought we were in a Lord of the Ri--

OBJECTION! Copyright infringement, Housuke! You should know better than--

Greetings! I am Gant the White, and I shall accompany you in your quest to destroy the One Ring-- I mean save Princess Minuki.

(So much for copyright infringement...)

You must destroy a hideous monster in order to succeed.

That's it? Piece of cake! This should be real easy--

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

GAH! You were right, that IS hideous! Housuke, how will we destroy this... thing? HELP! I'm too pretty to die!

*Impales monster Oldbag with hair* Done. Let's finish this, shall we?

At the tower...

Hey! Minuki's here! She must've bought the WiiStation 3 as well and got stuck here, huh? Hmm... She's asleep. Well? How do you suppose we can wake her up, Kyouya?

Ahem... Sunshines, lollypops and, rainbows...

*Snore, snore*

Okay... Let's try this again. Rukario! I choose you!

RUUU-KAAAA-RIYOOO!!!

Rukario! Hadoudan!

HADOUDAN!!!

*Snore, snore*

Let me try... Ahem. OI!!! SLEEPIN' BEAUTY! YOUR PRINCES HAVE ARRIVED, AND WE COME BRINGING TAKEOUT!

Takeout! Yay!

See? All it takes is some logic and trick to wake her up!

HEY! There's no takeout at all! Bad, bad, bad, Odoroki-kun! *Casts a spell on Odoroki* RICTUSEMPRA!!!

PAIN!!!

...

You know, I'm really beginning to wonder exactly what game we're in... Oh, well. I guess we better move on. Come on, Housuke! Stop fooling around!

WAIT!!! Don't leave me here! I need to find a pool within the next three hours or I'll... I'll...

Yay, a vortex. Ladies first... And I mean you, Housuke.

...

HEY! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?!

I said "Yay, a vortex"... Or did you not hear me?

WHAT? No, wait, stop!!!

*Vortex appears. All three except Gant leave.*


GAME 5: COURT-O 2

*Odoroki, Minuki, and Kyouya fall out of the vortex into a new video game.*

Suh-weeeet! Look at this cool new place that vortex brought us to!

Hmm, yeah, I gotta admit this cool outer-spacey feel is just--

UUUUUIIIIIEEEEAAAHH!!!!

Look out!

*Shoots at the Blue Badg-- I mean, Covenant Grunt with a Plasma Rifle*

WOW! It's Master Chief! Man, I don't ever wanna leave this game!

*Points Plasma Rifle at Odoroki* I'd rethink that if I were you.

... Or maybe not. Wait! Don't shoot! I'm not from the Covenant!

Ah, so you're from the flood! No wonder those strange mutilations protruding from your scalp looked familiar... You're a Flood Elite! *Charges Plasma Rifle* Any last words?

...

Hey, wait a minute! I thought Master Chief was supposed to be the good guy?

That leaves only one thing possible... That is not the real Master Chief!

WHAT? What are you talking about, I'm--

*Pulls off helmet* I KNEW IT!

It's... It's...

...

"Master CHIEF" indeed...

See! I told you this wouldn't work!

Zip it, CorLana! I'm busted...

GAH! It's Gant! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE REAL MASTER CHIEF!?

I, uh... CorLana, cover me! *Stabs some random noob and runs away like a girl*

... *Stabs said random noob in the same area* *Runs away*

...

...

...

You do realize this post just made Halo 2 sound like a noob game, right?

Hey, don't blame me, blame Al, the dude who typed this. Oh look, a vortex.

*Vortex appears, on to the next game.*

---

first time doing this xD
: wtf?
: what?
: your in my bathroom...
: so?
: so what? WHY THE *bleeb* ARE YOU HERE!!!
: cause i need my alone time...
: i so am not here...
: yay alone time!

: hey Nick
: hey Maya
: i need to go the the bathroom
: ACK NO DONT GO!!!

Maya opens bathroom door

: HOLY *bleeb*!!!
: ...
Maya?
MAYA!!!

Phoenix looks at Edgeworth

: HOLY *bleeb*!!!

Phoenic faints

: listen kids, this is why i need to be alone when i do my alone time.

Edgeworth throws Maya and Phoenix out the bathroom and closes the door.

I don't think I can take much more of this craziness.

That's better. Now no one will recognise me.

Hi, Mr Nick.

Hi Pearls I mean I'm not Mr Nick.

I have a magatama too, so nya.

I guess it wasn't that good a disguise.

I'm back for more alone time.

Who are you and what are you talking about?

Wright didn't tell me he had moved.

Normally in this situation people leave... They don't start with the door open.

What's that thing between his legs?

Leave. Now.

If you ever get arrested, I will be your prosecutor. Unless some mysterious circumstances happen to me, of course.

Mysterious circumstances, aye?

To answer your question Pearls, go and ask him everything about it.

* * *

And that's how it started.

What? All those months of speculation and that's the best resolution our writers could come up with?

We have writers?

---

- Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
- No.
- Did you check for blood pressure?
- No.
- Did you check for breathing?
- No.
- So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
- No.
- How can you be so sure, Doctor?
- Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
- But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
- Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

- (Why do I get the feeling I completely zoned out in that line of questioning?)
Note: I CALL THIS FOR FLASH MATERIAL

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
How do you keep growing stubble like that?
Through the power of the hat.
I want a hat like that too.
(I don't think the Berry Big Circus is looking for a bearded lady...)

---

Hey Edgey! Why did the chicken cross examine the road?
Why?
To get to the other LIE!
*blank face*...

---

In honor of your Birthday
We all got together
And made you something
That we hope you will like
Aww you shouldnt have! What is it?
Miles Edgeworth, We present to you...
Your own private bathroom!
Yaaaaay! Finally! Alone time on command! It's gotb everything! sound proof, unlimited toilet roll... and it even has.. a.. video camera?
*rips camera out
(back at Wright and co Law offices)
MY CAMERA!

---

How dare that Nurse go and get herself killed. Now who am I supposed to use as a scapegoat?

Um, you're here about her sister right?

Yes. How did her facial reconstruction go?

Well...

My face! My eyes! I'm ugly and blind! But especially ugly!

You made her so ugly she can tell her sheer ugliness even though you also made her blind?

Next time, you should use my ideas.

* * *

Their pain teaches me that I should make sure you remain healthy enough to continue being blackmailed.

You could stop stabbing me for a start.

But then who shall I throw my stabbing urges on?

Hey, I could use it to get Goodman out of the way.

And thus the start of case 2-2 also led to the start of case 1-5.

But that's not for a few months...

So for now I'll stab you. Wee, this is fun.

How dare you get stabbed? Now what do we do about Ini?

Leave it to me.

*Everyone leaves*

Oh, don't worry about me. Phoenix defended himself. I'm sure I can operate on myself. *sigh*

---

The following was inspired by something I saw on ytmnd.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Single Female Lawyer, Fighting for her client, Wearing sexy miniskirts... ...And being self-reliant. Hey I'm pretty good!

- Uh, (reading) Jenny McNeal, you are charged with jury-tampering in last week's case on account of your hot, naked affair with the foreman. How do you plead?

- Your Honour, I move for a mistrial, on the grounds that I'm also having a hot, naked affair with the foreman of this jury.

- I'll see you during the recess!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- If McNeal wishes to be taken seriously why does she not simply tear the judge's head off?

- It is true what they say; "Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Your witness, Prosecutor Ramirez.

- Gracias. Single Female Lawyer, where were you on the night of August 23rd?

- Sleeping with you.

- Aha!

- Uh, g-- uh, getting back to the, uh, matter, uh-uh, if it please the court... (whispering) Fry, there's nothing else here. You only wrote two pages of dialogue.

- Well, it took an hour to write. I thought it would take an hour to read.

- What are we supposed to do now?

- I don't know, I don't know. Just say anything. As long as it's compelling, mesmerising, a tour de force.

- Uh...

- What say you, Single Female Lawyer?

- I say ... I'm giving up the law. And I'm giving up being single. Your Honour, will you marry me?

- No, no! Go to commercial!

- We'll be back after this word from Crazy Bender's Discount Stereo.

- Married? Jenny can't get married.

- Why not? It's clever, it's unexpected.

- But that's not why people watch TV. Clever things make people feel stupid, and unexpected things make them feel scared.

- Attention, McNeal. Your unexpected marriage plan scares us. You stole our hearts as a single female lawyer, and so shall you remain -- or else!

- You see? TV audiences don't want anything original. They wanna see the same thing they've seen a thousand times before.

- Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Fry?

- Trust me on this. While other people were out living their lives, I wasted mine watching TV, because deep down I knew it might one day help me save the world. Plus, I would have lost my Workman's Comp if I had gone outside. Now just read these cue cards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- And action!

- Miss McNeal, I'm afraid I must decline your offer of marriage. For, you see, I'm dying. Cough, then fall over dead.

- My God, he's dead.

- I will now make my closing statement. With my fiancé deceased, I hereby return to my single female lawyer career. No matter what any man says.

- We find the defendant vulnerable yet spunky!

- Hooray!

- Hooray!

- And ... cut!

Base on something I noticed....

*whispers to Odoroki*
!
*gets on top of table, facing away, and leans back so he's upside down* You're right!
....
His hair DOES looks like a unicorn horn!
....WHAT?
He's a pretty unicorn boy!
*falls off the table, head first into the ground*
.... (Well, atleast he has a cute butt....)

Probably, better if I drew this. Oh well, first doing one of theses.

---

JFA CASE 1

: The only other thing but the victim I saw was a bunch of bananas.



*shows baseball glove

: I think I have the bananas right here mr. Wellington

: What the baseball glove?

: It loooks tasty you want to eat it?

: Ok sure, why not

*eats

*dies*




Pheonix Wright You just murdered the Witness, I pronounce you and Maggey Byrde for the murders of Richard Wellington and Dustin Prince



: ...
: No dog food for Payne tonight.

---