I didn't miss anybody, did I?

---

Setting - The Studio (On Stage)
: It's now Minuki with the weather report... Have you found California yet?

: Is it here...?

: That's Japan.

: Um... here?

: That's Kenya.

: What about... there?

: That's Hawaii.

: Can you come back to me?

: *sigh* Now to you, Mr Marshall.

: Thanks Ms Skye. An urgent report has come in about an earlier earthquake. Ms Bryde is at the scene.

: Thanks you Mr Marshall. *trips down stairs* We have found the source off an earlier earthquake. *high heel breaks* Umm… Mr Grossberg, could we have a few words?

: *farts and smog erupts from ass*

: Oh noes! I'm choking.... *jacks car then crashes against 10 feet tall tree*

: Now to you Mr. Wright!

: And know I'll be talking to-

: You're on my seat, Edgeworth.

: So?

: So which vanilla-face will I be talking to?

: Shut up!

: ...Player haters!

: And now to Godot with the latest coffee update.

: This is fucking cold!

: ...And now for the sports new... We have sports news?!

: Y'all do now. And rumor has it that apart from me taking this job because they don't have a gossip editor, Larry Butz has become a bullfighter. He was reported as saying...

: Um, could you let me out please. My girlfriend said that there were Tacos here, and that Bull's staring at me!

: Rumor also has it that Mr. Butz was insured before the incident. Back to you Ms Skye.

: Whatever... And now to Mr-

: I'm too poor to afford movie tickets...

: Then how could you have-

: Wild Hogs has more ass than a donkey farm!

: That's hot!

: Yeah, I know!

: Like my new camera?

: Yes, Ms Miney. And now th-

: Coffee!

: Fine. Coffee, whatever...

: Hey, dudes. Sicne you're in the coffee break, want me to call up a pizza for ya? *dial dial dial*

: *whispers* Who the fuck is this guy?

: Once again, how the fuck should I know? And now for our sponsers!

: Head on! Apply directly to forehe-*gets whacked on the forehead with a wooden plank*

: That was quick... I didn't even get through to hi-Oh, yeah, I'd like a...*talks on phone*

: Hey! What about my hardly sports-related gossip slot?

: What about it?

: Caffine rush! *starts to dance on the table, singing an awful 80's song in a high voice*

: That is, like, such an awsome tune and, like I totally should join in! *begins to waltz with Godot*

: The pay had better be worth it..

: It is...

: Or else!

: Fuck off, Engarde! You don't work here! Wait a minute... didn't you die from gravy saturation yesterday?

: Oh yeah... *crumples into heap*

: That's hot!

: Man, I wish I could make people die by saying things.

: ...

: Umm... I think I'll come back on the next part! *She runs away as the Benny Hill theme plays*

: I had no idea you played the trumpet Minuki... And now to Mr Gumshoe with the latest movie review.

: 300 sort of turned me on!

: And now to Mr Wri-

: It made me do the Popcorn Trick with myself!

: And now to Mr Wright with his bullshit...

: Thanks Lana, you dirty tramp.

: Oh no he didn't!

: The chicken or the egg... Which tastes better?

: Everything tastes great with coffee, bitch!

: Shut the fuck up!

:

:

: Dammit, CI! Not you again!

: Catch me if you can, asshole!

*insert epic chase with drugs, explosions and sexual material*

: What the-

: *brings out guns* This is a hold up!

To be continued...

Last edited by RevFirst on Thu May 03, 2007 10:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Welcome to the Gyakuten Saiban talent show. I seriously question whether this is a good idea or not.
Loosen up Nick! Enjoy yourself a little more!
Oh whatever. Let's just get this thing started.
/ Put us up first!
Wait your turn. First up is Godot. *claps politely before walking off stage*
*drags him back* Hoooold on a minute, Maruhodo. I need you for my act.
Why?
Just stay there. *sets up a good distance between him and Phoenix* *bows to the audience* Prepare to be amazed!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Niiiiiice. Okay, next up is .
PSSST! *hands him a note*
Who has canceled last minute because a big concert was resceduled to today. So next up is... O_O Uhh... Pearly!


I saw that, Mr. Phoenix Wright! You were going to deny the audience of my perfect act!
AHH! *runs away*
GET BACK HERE, MR. PHOENIX WRIGHT! A FOOLISH FOOL WITH SUCH FOOLISH HAIR STYLED IN SUCH FOOLISHLY FOOLISH SPIKES WON'T ESCAPE ME SO EASILY!!!

(to be continued... maybe? O_o I dunno. in the meantime, anyone know the lyrics of any classic old songs from those old movies? You know, something like "Singing in the Rain" (only not that particular song please. It doesn't match what I have in mind))

---

*:phoenix: and are on the roof of a building. is holding a sniper rifle, and shooting targets*

Why are we here again?

I'm practising for tonight's Counter Strike tournament.

But why are you using a Scout?

Because it's awesome, and not a total noob canno-

* is shot in the head and falls down dead*

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!!!

* is shot in the head too. appears*

B00m h34d5h0t! 4WP pwns j00 4ll, n00bl3ts! 1 R l33t!

*later in court*

You are hereby guilty for the pwnage of Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey. You are to be banned immediately from this server

5t00p1d g4y 4dm1n! U 5uck!

PERMA-BANNED!

* disappears in a puff of cloud. is shot in the head by *

*holding an MP5* Woo! Round winner! *victory dance

gg

gg

gg

has left the server.

-----------------------------

Hehe, Counter Objection :3

---

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

Is the defense ready?
(amnesia) ...
Well? Mr Wright?

Where am I?
This is a court house, he's the judge and your the defense.
So that makes you the prostitution.
Only if you pay Mr Wright.

It WAS funny in my head. >.>

---

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

And that's how I became a hobo!
But how much she wanted?
I dunno, I gave her all my money!
I lost my job, my girlfriend and my house!
But I had the better night of my life!
O_O

---

+Sits down to watch TV+ "I wonder what's on?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cartoon Network -- Grim Adventures of Franny and Larry

"Grim! I need you to get that idiot Larry out of trouble again?"
"...But...But..."
"A hyuk yuk yuk! Hey Karma...I mean Grim!"
"I do not get paid enough...I don't even get paid..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
+Flips channels+ "Next..."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TV Land -- The B Team

"I pity the foolish fool who foolishly fools around!"
"Rawr! I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay...I sleep all night and I work all day!"
"Damn I'm sexy."
"Um...uh...Let's...save people and stuff..."
"I SAID I PITY THE FOOLISH FOOL WHO FOOLISHLY FOOLS AROUND!!!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
+Flips the channel once more.+ "Ugh...why do I even watch this?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fox -- Family Dude

"I WILL KILL YOU YET MOTHER!!!"
"Bye mom...bye dad...I'm going to go to meet my lesbian girlfriend..."
"Hahahaha...go have fun Adie!"
"But daaaaaaaaaaaad..."
"Go TO YOUR ROOM, MATTHEW!!!!"
"Odie...give mommy a kiss..."
"BLAST YOU MOTHER!"
"Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?"
"Giggity giggity goo!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
+Sweatdrop.+ "...I'm turning this thing off."
"Now can we play poker?"
"I thought we agreed Jenga..."
"DAMN!"
"We could make it strip poker"
"Without meeeeeeeeeeeee?!"
"We know he'll stack the deck..."
"DUDE! YOU JUST WANNA SEE MILES NAKED!"

---

(K, critisize if you don't like.)

Ok, camera on? Well. Last Tuesday I was at the bank, as usual, to collect my earnings, when I came across a dumpster with this guy swimming in it.

*possessed by Nonsense* I collect trash.

This new wave of collectors gave me an idea. Thus, you may now purchase Attorney Nail Clippings! Only $10.95 or two easy payments of $5.95.

I finally got the nail clippings of Phoenix and Mia, painstakingly crafted into an actual heart by Chinese Infantry himself. I also got the clippings of Edgey, which was tested at the lab and was confirmed to be covered in s-




Eh?

Look at this. *hands over a contract*

Miles Edgeworth, jokes, logos, alone time and all related indicia are trademarks of Edgeworth, Inc., © 1999-2007.
® denotes Reg. US Pat. & TM Office. All rights reserved.

Thus, I am the only one to make Alone time jokes. That'll be $100 bucks.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now, back to the Maya Fey show!

Oh, when is Phoenix getting back?

Hi honey!

Hi! Why are you here so early?

Well, frankly, I thought you'd burn the house down.

Oh come on, when have I ever done that?

*looks at camera* Don't get me started!

*comes in wearing a dress* Hi guys!

What happened to my other mom character?!?

Err... Global warming? Anyway, I hear a big Hollywood director is moving next door, so if we suck up enough, we might be movie stars!

Yay! Where is he?

Over there.

Where's the free food?

Oh no, its that bird! I gotta hide!

*later*

I wonder where Maya is with that turkey.

You know, this is considered cannibalism to me, but I'm just being nice.

*walks in with turkey on head* Hi! I'll just serve up the salad.

Um... Sweetie?

Doo de doo...

Don't worry about this sir, she likes to, uh, wear the food?

That's a stupid lie and no one's going to believe it.

Ya... Um, Maya, could you take off the turkey?

*channels Mia and takes the turkey off*

...

Did she get taller? And... Er... You know...

Maya, stop channeling Mia.

Aww.

...

HEY! It's that guy!

*turns to camera* Oh snap!

(Guess the referance, c'mon!)

---

Investigation (I missplet it as Incestigation D: Naughty thoughts )

Its the murder victim.
Yes it is.

Its the murder weapon.
Yes it is.

Maya's an idiot.
Yes you are.



===========================

Its a mirror, stangely I can't see myself in it.

===========================

THE TRUTH IS HIDDEN AND ONLY ONE PERSON CAN BRING IT OUT!
BRING IN EDGEWORTHS CORPSE!
*metal poles/wire frame supporting him upright*
Now, did you, or did you not witness the murder?
*head drops off*
WHO'RE YOU HIDING WITH YOUR SILENCE?
*hand falls off*
ITS POINTING AT YOU MAYA!

===========================

*Smacks through the wall and Gregs corpse falls out*

===========================



?
*blink*
Your supposed to be in jail!

Talk!

Talk!

...
*clap* Ahh Udgey, just the man!
...?
*hands Judge a piece of paper*
... I.O.U. one life-time sentence?
*clap and laugh*
You're kidding me?
Everything seems to be in order. Continue Mr Wright.

---

Hey Nick.
Oh, hey Maya.
I made you some pie Nick.
Thanks! *Takes bite* Oh, this is good. What's in it?
Pears, apples, my hair.
*Spits* WTF! WHY IS YOUR HAIR IN HERE!?
You ate my hair. Part of me. Part of me is inside of you. Can you feel me Nick? Can you feel me inside of you? *Walks off*
........
Hey Wright! Ooooohh. Pie. *Grabs a slice* Hey, can you pass the Cool Whip?
Yeah. Sure. *passes* Wait, what?
You can't have pie without Cool Whip.
No, what's up with the emphasis on the H?
What are you talking about?
Say whip.
Whip.
Now say Cool Whip.
Cool Whip. I don't see it.
Screw it. You're eating hair.
*Spit*
--------
Are you two ready.
Yes I am.
Did you bring the whip?
Yeah, it's right...Wait, what?

---

Now, back to commercial!

Just hand over the money and no one get's hurt by my lackies.

I don't got no money!

*from future* Hobo!

Well, I don't have $100 bucks.

Such a shame. MEEKINS!

Sir?

Woah. That guy's fast.

'Chya. Now, beat him up mercilessly with a wooden club imbedded with iron spikes.

Can do sir! I used to be in baseball sir! 'Wacking Meekins' they called me!

You sure they didn't call you 'Wacky Meekins'?

I forgot sir! Must've been that crazy lady with the whip who brainwashed me sir!

Um...

Edgey needs his money now!

Tired of those tax collectors? Call 1-800-CI-LIKE-MUNY for help!

& *is hit by a truck*

Thanks! I'll just collect that phone number...

And all you have to do is pay me double what those tax collectors were asking for!

Huh?

You signed a contract.

No I didn't.

You did in my imagination! Do not question my imagination!

... You're going down, bub.

What?!? No! You can't! Buy my juuuuuuuuunk!!!!!!!!!!! *is shipped to Kazakhstan*

Time to check my mail... Hey! It's red haired business man! Have you seen spikey haired liar?

My life is a joke.
---
Um... Ya.

BOO!

AAH! We'red you come from?

The USA. You should know that Borat lives there. And my life is making jokes, not being it.

Darnit.

Time for Revenge! *throws into 's cravat and runs off*

Weird.

Oh Edgey....

Oh good lord.

C'mon and stick it in me! *is now naked*

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*runs away*

---

Who's up for some... VIRTUAL BOY!
Meee!
Godot?
?
Wanna play Virtual boy with us?

?
*murderous rage* Isn't that the game thats only in red.
err.... its a console.
*twitch*
Godot?
>Scene removed<

---

That Was Brilliant! I was so not expecting that!

At long last... Stage Two finally ends.

Only on... THE GYAKUTEN SAIBAN CHARACTER GRAND PRIX!!!

Welcome back to GS-CGP!!!

Previously on our show, we've seen how the Pirate Teams, except Mei, teamed up to save the Fire Pirates and Garurumon, who had been captured by Beelzemon, along with the other Straw Hats, Guilmon, Renamon, and Terriermon! And guess who ordered Beelzemon to do that...?

& IT WAS GARYUU KIRIHITO!!!

Apparently, he wants revenge on Odoroki for kicking his ass during the Bell Test! ... He even went so far as to Dark-Digivole into Duskmon and destroy Beelzemon, using his raw digital code to boost his attacks!

Ah, but luckily, someone intervened before he could totally destroy Odoroki! Strangely enough, Garurumon Fusion-Digivolved with Godot, and formed...

GODORURUMON!!!

Heck yeah!!! Last time we saw Godorurumon and Duskmon, they had each simultaneously attacked! I wonder what happens next—

UB-JICT-SHUN!!!

...

...

... O lawd, not again.

I thought Ms. Oldbag carried that guy off already?

Yeah! ... Say, where is Ms. Oldbag—

MIKEY-POO!!! COME BACK TO ME, BABY!!!

GAH!!! STAY BACK!!! I AM MICHAEL FEY!!! UB-JICT-SHUN!!!

*Michael and Oldbag chase each other.*

Okay, these guys are SERIOUSLY getting annoying!

Not to mention the fact that they're interrupting our show!

What do we do, Kyle? If these two keep chasing each other around the stage...

... Lemme think this through...

...

Thinking... Thinking... Aha! Time to boost some evidence! Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Derek?

Yeah! Time to begin the operation!

... Uh, no... That's not what I was talking about.

Then what?

It's time to...

...

Time to use our secret weapon! Release the hounds!!!

Say what?!

GRR!!!

*Hound dogs suddenly come in and chase away Oldbag and Michael! It's super effective!*

Alright! We did it!

...

... What?

You do realize those hounds scared the audience away as well, right?

... Oh! ... Oh... Oh snap.

... Let's just get on with the show.

*Scratches head sheepishly* Roger that.

...

Beelzemon's Hideout, Hidden Island:

HOWLING BLASTER!!!

LUNAR PLASMA!!!

*Godorurumon and Duskmon attack at the same time!!! Their attacks collide and form a blinding light!*

Whoa! Check that out!

Ahh!!! It's too bright-ttebayo!!!

Hey! Where'd Luffy go?

*Hitting the giant glass container* Don't worry guys! I'll get you outta there soon!

You can't break it just like that! We need more force!

*Usopp uses his slingshot to try and break the glass... but the shot backfires and hits Robin in the eye!*

*Hit* Ow! Watch it!

Damn! That glass is strong!

Hmph! That may be so... *Raises swords* But my swords can break it!

*Zoro slashes at the glass... It doesn't work!*

No way! Not even my swords can break this thing?!

Grr... It's no good!

*Duskmon sees Luffy trying to break the container and laughs.*

Heh! Foolish Straw Hat! There's no way you can break that container! Guilmon and your crewmates are doomed!!! Just give up now, boy!!! Mwahahahahahahaha!!! *Turns to Godorurumon* Haha! You are foolish as well! You can't beat me! I'm Duskmon!

Damn it!

*Duskmon counters Godorurumon's Howling Blaster and sends him crashing into a wall!*

AHHH!!!

OH NOES!!! GODORURUMON!!!

*Godorurumon De-Digivolves into Godot and Garurumon, both badly injured from Duskmon's attack.*

I... I couldn't do it! *Faints*

Uh-oh... Chihiro-sensei's gonna be pissed to see Godot so badly beaten up!

T-That Duskmon-ttebayo! He beat up Godot-san!

Yeah! He beat up Godot!

...

...

...

Actually, I think it's pretty neat! Haha! GODOT GOT OWNED!!!

NARUHODOU-KUN!!! THAT'S INSENSITIVE!!! *Kicks Naruhodou*

PAIN!!!

... I failed...

Garurumon!!! No!!!

Garurumon!

Wait, I thought you hated Garurumon?

... I suddenly realized that wolf-like creature was almost as cute as you when it Fusion-Digivolved with Godot.

Oh, okay...

...

... Wait...

...

... *Blushes* You think I'm cute?

... Um...

& *Awkward moment*

Uh, hello?! I'm supposed to be having a villain monologue here!

Oh, right. Carry on.

*Ahem* Mwahahahahahahaha!!! See? No one can beat me!!!

Grr... If I could only break these jars... Guilmon and I could Digivolve and kick that ugly thing's butt! *Hits the glass containers* Argh!!!

LUFFY!!! WATCH OUT!!!

WHA...?

LUFFY!!! BEHIND YOU!!!

*Luffy turns around and sees Duskmon charging towards him!*

AHH!!! GOMU GOMU NO—

*Stops Luffy* Too late, Straw Hat!!! DIE!!!

SUNA SUNA NO MI!!!

*Harumi suddenly bursts in and attacks Duskmon with her sand abilities!*

HAMI-CHAN?!

*Kyouya, Minuki, Sanji, and Chopper burst in as well.*

Sanji! Chopper!

Minuki!!! ... And that Guitar Boy!

Minuki! Kyouya!

*Smokes* Sorry we're late. We had a shitty tree stump impede our progress in getting here!

Hehe! You came just in time!

Pfft! Useless things! You won't be able to beat me!

Hami-chan! Now!

Okay! *Turns to the direction of the glass containers* SUNA SUNA NO MI!!!

*Harumi uses her sand-controlling abilities to break the glass!!!*

What the?!

... WE'RE FREE!!!

ME TOO!!!

GUILMON!!! ALRIGHT! TIME TO DIGIVOLVE!!!

*Luffy pulls a Digivice from his pocket!*

Let's go!!!

N-NO!!!

*Guilmon and Luffy get enveloped in a cloud of smoke and emerges as...!*

GALLANTMON!!!

NO WAI!!!

& *Still unconscious*

You won't win this time, Duskmon!!!

Grr...

LIGHTNING JOUST!!!

DEADLY GAZE!!!

*Gallantmon and Duskmon's attacks collide!*

Hmm... Colliding Digi-attacks seem to be getting quite popular during this funny, huh, Naruhodou?

... I think it's because Al just watched The Goblet of Fire a few hours ago...

I see... So does that mean we'll see Voldemort in here sooner or later?

Hmm... I dunno, but it's possible!

*Lawl Author Self-Insertion* I'm not THAT unoriginal, damn it! *Bricks Naruhodou*

OWW!!!

ZOMG!!! AL!!! WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?!

What's up?

Wait a minute... YOU'RE ORCAIZER AL?!

(Oh snap! I forgot! Mayoi hates my guts!)

You... You made me look like a female Naruto! Dattebayo!!!

... But isn't it true?

MIZU MIZU NO—

GAH!!! Mayoi! Wait! I have a better idea! You can use that attack on...

*Back to Gallantmon and Duskmon!*

Gotta... keep... holding on...

*Laughs* What's the matter, Gallantmon? Losing your grip?

Grr...

Oh noes! Gallantmon's losing!

What?! That can't be!

Is Duskmon REALLY that strong?

Grr... I can't just sit here and watch while Gallantmon loses! Dattebayo! MIZU MIZU NO MI!!!

I'll help, too, Mayoi-nee-chan!!! SUNA SUNA NO MI!!!

Okay! I'll help, too! MERA MERA NO MI!!!

*Mayoi, Harumi, and Odoroki attack Duskmon!*

Those girls and that guy who looks like a cockatiel are right! We should help Gallantmon, too!

*Usopp and the rest of the Straw Hats prepare to attack Duskmon as well!*

LET'S GO!!!

*The Straw Hats release their signature moves on Duskmon!*

*Hit by combined attacks* AAARRRGGGHHH!!! DAMN IT!!! THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!

All right!!! It's working!

Duskmon's getting weaker!

Too bad we can't join in on the fun, huh?

What do you mean?

Hehe. Everyone's got a special attack but us!

... You're right...

We're the only ones not helping with the combined attacks!

Hey! Al's not doing anything to help!

Actually, I am.

Huh?

*Raises Digivice* LET'S GO, GREYMON!!!

*I summon my Greymon and make it attack Duskmon!*

NOVA BLAST!!!

*Greymon and I join in on the combined attack!*

... Well that made me eat my words!

We're still the only ones not doing anything... besides the unconscious lovers over there!

& *Still unconscious*

Which is why... I've got an idea. We can all attack Duskmon, too!

WHAT?!

*Back to Gallantmon and Duskmon... again!*

*Hit again* GRR... THIS IS ANNOYING!!!

How's it feel to lose, Duskmon?! LIGHTNING JOUST!!!

*Evades* Heh! I'm not going to lose THAT easily...

WHAT?!

Hehe... PREPARE FOR MY ULTIMATE ATTACK!!!

N-no way!

ULTIMATE BLACK HOLE LUNAR PLASMA!!!

*Duskmon forms a giant red moon and prepares to attack... everybody!!!*

AAAAARRGGGHHH!!!!

*Duskmon prepares to release the final attack! ... Until!*

NINJA CHARACTERS NEXT DOOR!!! BATTLE STATIONS!!!

*Holds swords* Numbuh One!

*Holds staff* Numbuh Two!

*Holds nunchaku* Numbuh Three!

*Holds sai* Numbuh Four!

*Holds luminol* Numbuh Five!

*Holds a deck of cards* ... And Master Hobohodo!!!

... WTF?!

AL, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!

*Sheepish laugh* Ehehe... I ran outta ideas and made those guys Kids Next Door / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle rip-offs!

A-Anyway! Let's just attack!

*The... uh, "Ninja Characters Next Door" attack Duskmon!*

*Hit by puny, insignificant attacks* Again, I say... WTF?!

Okay! The diversion worked!!!

D-Diversion?!

BRING IN THE WHALE!!!

*Falls from the ceiling and lands on Duskmon*

AHHHH!!!! IT'S HEAVY!!! OKAY, OKAY!!! I GIVE UP!!!

*Duskmon De-Digivolves.*

Grr... Foiled again, I see!

What the?! You? You were Duskmon all along?!

Hmph... That's right... I wanted my revenge on Odoroki!

Oh, you're talking about the time when he...

ACK!!! SPOILERS!!!

When he beat me during the Bell Test, yes...

But... Why did you want revenge on me so much?!

Because you humiliated me, boy!

Well, what's done is done! We've saved the Straw Hats and Guilmon, and we defeated Duskmon!

So... What happens next, Al?

Mayoi gets run over by a truck.

SAY WHAT?!

GAH! I'm kidding! Sheesh! ... Okay, the GS-CGP people are gonna burst in and arrest Garyuu.

... Which Garyuu?

... Obviously the evil one, Kyouya.

Oh! Riiiight.

*A few seconds later, Kyle and Derek burst in with some hound dogs.*

Freeze! You're under arrest, Garyuu Kirihito!

Make no sudden movements unless you want the hounds to bite you!

GRR!!!

Oh, alright, alright! *Allows himself to get arrested*

*Bursts in* Aha! Garyuu Kirihito! So it was YOU who sabotaged the Second Stage!

*Gets taken away* And I would've gotten away with it, too! If it hadn't been for those meddling... er, lawyers, spirit mediums, detectives, magicians, hobos, pirates, and Digimon!

*Garyuu exits, handcuffed.*

*Ahem* Anyway...

Oh! You're here to tell us who made it to the next stage, right? Well?

Er... Actually...

*Bursts in* Haha! You are all foolishly foolish fools! While you were out saving these pathetic things, I was able to retrieve the treasure! Hahahahaha!!!

Um... Actually, no, Karuma-san.

Say what?!

Since everyone except you teamed up to help the captured Straw Hats... and Guilmon... I decided to change the rules a little. EVERYONE EXCEPT KARUMA MEI HAS MADE IT TO THE SECOND STAGE!!!

ALRIGHT!!!

& *Still unconscious*

NO!!! THAT'S NOT FAIR!!! I FOUND THE TREASURE, FOOLISHLY FOOLISH FOOLS!!!

*Turns to Kyle and Derek* Gentlemen, if you please...

& *Salute* Aye, sir!

*Kyle and Derek carry Mei out of the room as well.*

NO!!! THIS... THIS IN'T OVER YET!!! FOOLISHLY FOLISH FOOLS!!! YOU HAVE NOT YET SEEN THE LAST OF KARUMA MEI!!!

*Ahem* Well, yes... All of you have done quite a good job! Helping the Straw Hats out and all...

Hehe! It was fun-ttebayo!

*The area changes back into a stage.*

Right. All of you may now return to your hotel rooms and prepare for the Semi-Final Round, which is in two days! *Exits*

Well, everything turned out fine today!

Well, I've finally found Guilmon! *Turns to the contestants, and bows* Thanks for helping me!

Oh, it was no biggie!

*The Straw Hats turn to leave.*

Hey Garurumon! Let's go!

Uh, sure, Guilmon... Just wait a sec!

*Garurumon returns to Odoroki.*

G-Garurumon...

Sorry I wasn't able to Fusion-Digivolve with you, Odoroki-sama!

N-No, it's okay... Really!

... Don't worry, Odoroki-sama! Even though I lost Renamon and Terriermon, you guys were still able to save Guilmon! *Bows* I am indebted to you forever, Odoroki-sama!

*Tearing up* Garurumon!

*Odoroki and Garurumon hug.*

Even though I'm returning to the DigiWolrd, you can still call me back here any time you want, Odoroki-sama! You've got a Digivice, after all!

O-okay! Bye, Garurumon!!!

*Walks away* Bye, Odoroki-sama!!!

*Garurumon leaves with Guilmon and the Straw Hats.*

...

*Pats Odoroki on the back* There, there...

... Akane-chan...

... What is it?

... Will you...

... Hmm?

... WILL YOU PLEASE GO ON A DATE WITH ME, AKANE-CHAN?!

... At least you're back to normal...

So, is that a "Yes"?

...

Haha. Look at those two!

Well, this calls for a celebration! How about some dinner, guys?

You're treating us to dinner? Cool!

Are you allowed to do that, Mr. Al?

Hehe! I'm the author of this series, so I can do whatever I want! Heck, I can even bring Griffin Turner and Eddy Skye in here!

You can count on that!

Believe it!

See what I mean? Okay! Let's go!

Wait a minute... Al!

Huh? What is it?

... Who's "Eddy Skye"?

I'm your son!!!

Oh, snap. Time paradox...

My WHAT?! I... I... *Faints*

MOM!!!

... TO BE CONTINUED.

---

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:38 am, edited 2 times in total.

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Double posting is a sin, though.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

@Al: Bravo! Bravo! I was so not expecting most of those jokes! I think I pulled a few muscles laughing! Great Stuff!

@Anon: Could the Letter have Accidently sent to Ganta Claus?

Hey nick
?
Spell shop
S-H-O-P
What did you just spell?
shop
again?
shop
Speeell it!
S-H-O-P!!!
What do you do at a green traffic light?
stop-Hey!
Got you.

=======
Later
=======

Hey, Godot
?
Spell hoe
H-O-E
What did you just spell?
Hoe
Again?
Hoe!!!
And its spelt...?
H-O-E
What do you do at a red traffic light?

?

>scene missing<

---

For some reason, Gumshoe's "Movie Reviews" made me laugh harder than ANYTHING else on this thread.

---

After forgetting about it, remembering, deciding she couldn't be bothered, forgetting again, and finally being reminded again by reading through the funnies thread- It's Impulse's Funnies Of Hilarity And Joy!
Want to know what the hell's going on? Ta-dah! The past two episodes, for your enjoyment-


*snore*
*snore*
*snore*
...What's up with Ema?
Oh, she's been like this since Impulse left.
Huh. So is she dead or in a coma what?
Dunno. But as long as she's like this, it means we don't have have to put up with that bitch Impulse.
Hooray! But what are you gonna do with the body?
Oh, just now I'm using her for Hobohodo to tell his stories to. Look-
And that's why I became a hobo.
*snore*
There are a few teething problems though. I'm sure it has something to do with Impulse.
What?
Just watch-
Oh, I love you so much Ema!
*snore*
*start making out*
Dude! You do know she's a minor, right?
No, she's not. She's 23.
No, she's 16.
23!
16!
Can you two shut up?!?
ARRRGGGHHHHHHH! ZOMBIE!
And a hello to you too.
...It's back.
I'm going to choose to ignore that.
Ema! What happened to you!
It's Impulse. But you can call me Ema if you want!
Why does he get to call you Ema? You spray luminol in our eyes when we do that!
Because I like him, and you're jerks.
But he's me!
No I'm not! I'm cool and you're not. I have an awesome hat. Nobody likes you and you turn out to be a hobo! Ha!
You're an idiot.
Anyway, moving on... Where have you been for the past three weeks? The faster we get the training over with, the faster we never have to see each other again.
Err... Something... Came up... Yes. That's it. I was busy.
That's a lie! I have a video here that's evidence that you weren't busy for the past 3 weeks!
Okay, this is a bad rip off of either CI's joke or the end of JFA Case 4.
*plays video*
Man, watching Naruto in bed is so much better than doing Funny Training. I love watching Naruto in bed! I'm going to do this for the next 3 weeks.
*video ends*
So, as you can see- you bunked off Funny Training to watch Naruto in bed!
Err... Emm... *cough*... That's... That's falsified evidence! You just made that up!

How the hell would I falsify a video tape?
How about you tell me, since you falsified it? BELIEVE IT!
Ah-ha! More evidence that you have been watching Naruto! And you must have been watching the English dub!
Like I'd watch the English dub... It's awful! I watch Japanese with English subtitles, or nothing.
Which means- you were watching Naruto!
...Shit.
Ha-ha! I beat you! I won! You lost! You were lying! I'm an awesome lawyer!
You have 3 seconds bafore I start blinding you. Threetwoone- luminol time!
Edgeworth! Save me!
Errr... Does it really matter where you were? All I know is that we got a three week break from you and Hobohodo's stories, you got to spend three weeks watching Naruto, and everyone on Court Records got three weeks without your godawful funnies. So everyone wins, right?
I suppose. But I'm not finishing my training, I just came to tell you to shut up. I don't even want to be a funny writer any more.
Really? But without Funny Training you'll be unfunny forever! And you won't be able to force random characters to make out! Or do Borat impressions!
Ema... What's everyone on about?
Err... I don't know. Wanna make out?
Sure!
*run off*
Should we tell her that we that we're legally allowed to kill her if she doesn't finish her training course?
Hmmmm... No.
Alright.
......................
Yes! A whole funny without mentioning Alone Time!
...Dammit!
Anyway, may I just add in a really late congrats to CI. You really are very hilarious. Really.
I might continue this, but posessed jokes are getting kind of old, and I'm too lazy to make my own sprite. Plus, I'd rather not put anyone else through my unique brand of 'humour'. Although, it is quite funny when I make out with Hobohodo. At least it is for me. And it keeps me off the streets.
Anyway, I've gotta go catch up on Orcaizer Al's funnies. Peace out!
Oh, and I've edited in a slightly better joke I came up with while not watching Naruto in bed.

---

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

Chinese Infantry presents (not FG(AOF)NIHT):



(Location: Helicopter flying over the skies)

Yo Richard! You mentioned something about research for a story...

*Snapping pictures* That's right. I've got a tip that Phoenix and Maya have finally tied the knot and are currently going on a rather elaborate honeymoon.

Really? They didn't mention anything about it on Turnabout News!

Yeah, well I'm freelance, pal! I don't make a living waiting for Rev and Darzie telling me what to cover.

Whatever, man!

*Looks down with camera* say, that looks like Phoenix down there. (But why isn't he on his honeymoon?)

What, the guy watering his garden.

Yeah...

*singing*
Sprinkle here! Sprinkle there!
Sprinkle sprinkle everywhere!
I love watering my garden,
so I can grow fruits and vegetables and all sorts of other shiiiit!

Land the helicopter in his backyard!

The backyard?

No! On the slanted roof! OF COURSE IN THE BACKYARD!

Ok! Ok, man...

*Insert helicopter landing here, along with plant life being blown away*

HEY! HEEEEEY! 'THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU DOIN'?

Well good luck with your story, Beef!

It's Richard. Remember that name, because the whole world is going to know it once I get this scoop! *Walks over to Phoenix*

WHERE IN MY BACKYARD DOES IT SAY YOU CAN PARK A FREAKING HELICOPTER?

Well, there wasn't a helipad on the roof, and your backyard was rather big, so....

THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

*Comes out of house, wearing a bathrobe* Phoenix? I was just about to take a shower when I though I heard a helicopter landing in the backyard.

Yeah you did, Miles, and the idiots flying it are right in front of me.

Who are you guys anyways?

I'm Richard Wellington, Freelance Photojournalist!

And I'm Jake Marshall, Charter Helicopter pilot.

Really now? How good are you?

I've covered wars, ya' know!

All I want to know is what the fuck you two are doing here.

I should be the one asking that!

What do you mean?

Aren't you supposed to be on your honeymoon right about now?

Ohh that? Miles and I went on that 3 years ago!

Waaaait, so you are saying that...

Yup, we are married. Isn't that right, Nixxi-poo?

Yes it is. Come here. Milesey...

*Insert Phoenix/Miles makeout scene here....with tongues*

DUUUUUUDE!

What? Never seen a gay couple before?

Are the tongues really necesary?

I dunno? Was tresspassing on someone else's property and defiling their backyard with a FUCKING HELICOPTER NECESARY?

Hmm, touche.

*Phoenix's hand reaches under Miles' bathrobe to...you know...*

Ok, that's it *snaps photo of scene* (Hmm, for some reason, I got an erotica PP bonus. Should be more like a horror bonus to me...)

Hey now, do I take photos of you when you make out with your gay lover.

First of all, I'm not gay. Secondly, this is going to be the next story, buddy. "Phoenix Wright revealed to not only be Miles Edgeworth's gay lover, but also secretly married to him."

Phoenix Wright?

Miles Edgeworth?

Yeah, that's your names, ain't it?

No no no, you've got it all wrong. We're Phoenix and Miles Vanderworth. Ironically, we look exactly like our counterparts Wright and Edgeworth.

...And you didn't bother telling us this now?

Well maybe if you pulled into the driveway with a car like a normal person, you would have figure that out, huh hotshot?

Seriously, don't get your panties in a bunch. We'll be out of here as soon as we get the scoop on you and your husband.

Sorry about him. He gets angry sometimes. Come inside and we'll explain everything.

On one condition: Miles and I have to be naked and cuddled up to eachother while we tell you.

Say WHHHAAA? ARE YOU SERIOUS?

HELICOPTER, MAN! HELICOPTER!

Alright, I'll do it. (Moo....)

AND SO DOES MR. TEXAS HELICOPTER PILOT.

Aww corndogs...

*Location: Inside the Vanderworth residence*

Allright then. Tell me about yourselves.

We are both actors. We met on set and did a homosexual make out scene for a movie. Well it turns out at that moment, I developed feelings for my darling Phoenix here and before you knew it, we were married.

I see. And are you still actors now?

Ohh yes. In fact, we made several uncredited appearances in various compelling flicks, such as "One of these things is not like the others" directed by musouka and "One of Every Color" directed by Croik.

Wait a second. So you you took starring roles in both of those fanfics, yet never made it into the credits?

Well, it was simply credited as "Phoenix Wright - Himself" and "Miles Edgeworth - Himself" respectivally. Croik said she was going to give us proper credit, but ended up writing the credits down on a saltine cracker...

...Huh?

Don't ask...

To make a long story short, she ate the cracker, realized she ate the credits and scrambled to type up new ones, which acknowledged neither of us.

...I see. Though that would explain why a ton of people seem to think that Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth are gay. Kinda fucked up, yes, but I believe I have everything you need.

Yeah. Good riddance to you too.

*Wellington and Jake leave*

Now Miles, why don't you go take that shower, then afterwards, you can give me one of your world famous "sensual massages."

Why don't you join me in the shower so I can give you one then?

You just read my mind.

*Insert....fuck it, I ain't typing it. SCENE CUT!*

*Location: Outside*

Buddy, if every interview we do ends up like that one, we'll be in for a long one.

Yeah, well no one said being a Freelance Photojournalist was easy. Sometimes you have to jump through hoops.

So who are we interviewing next?

I'll let the winds of fate guide me there...



A discovery was made concerning whether Phoenix Wright, who recently got married to Maya Fey, was involved in a homosexual affair with Miles Edgeworth. Though many claim they did see the two kiss and hold hands in public, it was revealed that it was a different pair of people: Phoenix and Miles Vanderworth, two married film actors.
The pair claim they have made uncredited appearances in flicks such as "One of these things is not like the others" and "One of Every Color". In both of these movies, the respective characters are simply credited as themselves, not as their actors. The reasons for this have not been cleared up yet, though more will be revealed at a later date.
Neither musouka nor Croik could be reached for comment.

(With respective apologies to musouka and Croik.)

(I know it's short!)

---

Last edited by Chinese Infantry on Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

Oh yes you will.

---

Yes! I have resurfaced a minor fad! WOOOHOOOOOO!
*Comes out with a shotgun* Did I say you could leave your hole, slave?
Where did you get a shotgun?
Internet. Anyways, go back in there and finish painting that picture of me as queen of the world.
But, why did you pick me of all people? I can't draw worth a crap. I mean, did you see that drawing I did of Phoenix Wright: Action Hero I made during Algebra?
Did I say you could speak?
....*Shakes head*
Now, get back in your hole.

---

Is the defense ready?
(amnesia) ...
Well? Mr Wright?
Where am I?
This is a court house, he's the judge and your the defense.
So that makes you the prostitution.
I thought you would never ask!

---

EEEWWWWWW! Good thing this topic has already scarred me for life, otherwise I would have had to kill you.
Anyways, now for a new series.
Phoenix in the Parks
Phoenix and Co. Go on vacation at Disney World.
--------
Location:Beach Club Hotel
Time:Who gives a crap
OK, now that everyone's here, I would like to know how you like the hotel.
This hotel has an awsome pool!
And it's along the beach!
And there are a bunch of people to whip!
Well, thank Pearly here for picking the hotel.
Just out of complete curiosity, what made you want to pick the hotel?
--------
Hmm....The book says this hotel is good for couples who like long walks on the beach...Perfect.
--------
I wanted to stay at this hotel because it's the quickest to all the parks!
Smart idea Pearls. I'll go get us the rooms right now!
(My plan is going perfect. Mr. Nick and Mystic Maya are definately going to get together now!)
What'd you say? I wasn't paying attention.
You hear me?
Yeah. Let me guess, you thought the blue text and the perenthasis keep people from hearing you. I made the same mistake too.
Yeah. Sorry. (Damn. That was close.)
Pearls! Watch your language!
--------
Anyways, here are the keys. Here's the key to your room, Edgeworth and Friska.
WHAT!
WOOOOHOOOO!
And, here are your keys Pearls and Cody.
Thanks Mr. Nick!
Thanks pops.
And here are the keys to our room, Maya.
Well, this is going to be fun.

---

(Hooray! This topic is alive again!)



I've just told this to some freinds of mine and their sides were splitting.
This is absolutely funny!!!


: Thanks. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to...
: Masturbate over the next Harry Potter movie!


LOL Chinese Infantry strikes back with some top-notch humor!
Your new one has a unique story and the twist is messed up!
Fraziska orders you to keep up the good work.

:von karma:
why wont the von karma smiley work?

damn elias... now I want to see the rest =(

---

Heres the autopsy.
Thanks.
*reads*
Wait! Whats this?
huh?
Shot in the... Von Karma?
Oh, thats a new medical term.
...
... for ... being shot in the right shoulder.
Ah, ok.

---

xD, it's funny because it's true.

---

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

...Where's Impulse? We've been waiting here for half an hour and she still hasn't turned up.
I bet she's bunked off to watch Naruto again.
Hey! WAZZZ UPPP!
(Ugghhh, why do all of Phoenix's alter egos have to be so annoying?) Hello, Hobo Phoenix. Do you know where Impulse is?
Impulse? Who's that?
Err...He means Ema. Do you know where Ema is?
I'm staying silent about that.
Which means you don't know.
Pretty much, yeah.
Hey guys! Sorry I'm late! I got lost on the path of life, as you might say.
You were watching Naruto again, weren't you?
No I wasn't! The trans-dimensional bandwagon I usually jump on to get here didn't turn up...
Why?
Oh, the driver got arrested for flogging his horse to death.
So how did you get here then?
Helicopter. Moo.

---

Okay, there is a rumor that says that has a live badger shoved up her ass.

Badger.

It started with in one of 's funnies.

Badger, badger.

Eh? Thought I heard something. Anyway.

*jumps out of 's ass* BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER;

MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!

BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER;

THIS IS COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT, DAMMIT!

MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!

I hereby find being guilty of being lazy and not coming up with his own jokes! Court is adjourned!

---

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

That Mask*DeMasque is evil! EVIL!!
Mr. Atmey you've been saying that for the past two hours.
I just want some attention. *sulks*

---

Last edited by Mr. Bear Jew on Sat Jul 21, 2007 5:48 am, edited 2 times in total.

*Phoenix and Maya are eating burgers at 'the usual place'*

Hey Maya, I just thought of something.
Uh huh?
You know Pokemon right?
You kidding, I LOVE that show!
(Doesn't suprise me.) Well, you know how their world is populated by Humans and Pokemon?
Duh!
No cows or pigs or stuff like that.
I guess...
Well...where do their burgers come from then?
...*puts down burger* I need to go.

[Two Days Later]

Are you eating a burger!?
But Pikachu is so tasty!

---

But there are Cow and pig pokemon.
Dad, you watch pokemon?
Iam perect, so I must know all and do all.
So it wast Miles who touched me?!
It was the second time.
Thats my rule.

---