- "Gods... topic... too... long... cannot... read properly... text blurring together... little faces... staring back at me... Gumshoe yelling... Digimon there... for some arcane reason..."

- "AAAAUGH! I cannot stand it any longer! I bequeeth everyone..."

BOOT TO THE HEAD!

- "Why? Because that is what I say."

---

Last Will and Temperment of Boot to the Head

Inspired by this absolutely hilarious flash!

As the executor of Mr. Goodman Estate, I have been empowered to read his last will and temperment.

(alcoholic brother): Well get on with it, the bar's open soon.

(sister): Oh poor dear Bruce... waaaaah!

(Jenny's wife / wimp): Oh there, there, Franny.

(Know-it-all nephew): God, how predictibly boring.

(servant) I never worked for a kinder man.

If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the readings.

I knew it!

Hehehe...

(reading): I, Bruce Goodman, being of sound mind and body...

That's a laugh! Ha ha ha!

... do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows: To my overly emotional sister, Franny.

WAAAAAAH!

Jenny darling, he's talking about us.

(calms down immediately) Oh!

... who grubbed with her husband Payne, grubbed for everything they could get from me, then cried crocidile tears when I needed sympathy-

What?!

...to Franny I leave... a Boot to the Head!

A what? [Boom] Ow!

Franny, are you okay?

And another boot to her wimpy husband Payne.

[Boom] Ow!

Ha ha ha hehehehe!

This is an outrage!

Ah but still, you are my sister, you have both admired my Royles Royce, and since I no longer need it...

Oh dear Bruce, he's too kind!

... I bequeath another boot the head.

What?! [Boom] Ow!

HA HA HA!!

And one more for the wimp.

[Boom] Ow!

Next, to my alcoholic brother...

Hey, I don't want no boot to the head.

To dear Godot, who's never worked a day in his drunken life...

I'm covering up my head!

I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey.

...Really?

And a boot to the head.

[Boom] Oh!

And another for Franny and the wimp.

[Boom] Oh!

[Boom] Ow!

Next, to my know-it-all nephew Edgeworth...

This is so predictable.

I leave a boot to the head.

[Boom] Uuh... I knew it.

... and one for Franny and the wimp.

[Boom] Ow!

[Boom] Oh!

This takes care of family obligations... and now to Mrs. Starr...

Oh, uh, I don't want nothing! Hehe...

... who took care of me faithfully these many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea ...

Oh, I didn't mind.

... to Mrs. Starr I bequeath... a boot to the head.

[Boom] Oouhh!

And one more for Franny and the wimp.

[Boom] Ahh!

[Boom] Ohh!

And so to my cat Shoe, I leave my entire vast-boot to the head!

[Boom] Meoooeeewwwoooeerroooww!

And finally, to my lawyer who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head, but a rabid tasmanian devil to be placed in his trousers....

ohhh!... ow ow ow ow... and I leave my entire vast estate of 10 million dollars to the people of Kurian so they can afford to move somewhere decent!

Is that it?

Is that all?

That's disgraceful!

There's one last thing for everyone.

Cover your heads, everybody!!

I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream.

Ice cream?

Ice cream?

Ice cream?

That's all?

That's all.

Well, what flavor is it?

Boot to the head!

[BOOM!] [BOOM!] [BOOM!] [BOOM!] [BOOM!] Ow! Oooo! Augh! AH! Oooof!

---

: *Air Guitar*

: Wait, are you... playing on a guitar?

: Yeah! That's right! My guitar is in my mind!

---

Since i'm too frickkin lazy to make an actual hello post, My re-introduction post(s) will be the re-write and ending of my original PW funny.

Dear, Diary
I know you may be getting tired of my constant writing about nick, but These past few days have been MORE than wierd, and youre the only one who will listen. Well, my sister might listen, but she's dead, and she won't understand anyway. as you know, everything form love potions to straight out "do me"'s have failed. Nick seems to fail to realize I desire a relationship outside the courtroom.
Thursday, I went to see someone I never thought i would want to converse with at ALL, let alone about... romance...
: Sorry, but I don't have time for the likes of you!!
: But, youre the last person I had to turn to.. I need your help to get nick to notice me!
: and what? Enrage every MilesxPhoenix shipper out there? The prosocutors meeting is saturday, and I need all the time I can get to prepare, so get lost!
: But if the meeting is saturday...
: DON'T YOU GET IT, I SWING BOTH WAYS NOW!!!
:...
:...
:...
:...
: It's Adrian, isn't it?
: shut up.
Listen, I have twenty minnutes to help, and THAT'S IT. so, what do you have?
: well, I'm on plan F. Basicaly, I run in, naked, and-
: No.
: Huh?
: That shit NEVER works. What's plan G?
: Do you have a vibrating dil-
: Plan F it is. Keep in toutch with theese walkie talkies I happen to carry around all the time.
: let me out!!
: What was that...?
: Nothing, just my closet... talking.... DON'T MAKE ME WHIP YOU, CLOSET!


9:00 pm
Phoenix Wright's house

: alright, I'm in, my clothes are in the bushes, and noone but Meekins saw.
: You were spotted?! you idiot!
: Don't worry, I killed him.
:..........................................
: I was susposed to kill anyone who saw, right?
:........................................
Just, continue to his room.
:Just in time! I hear a lot of noise, he's probably getting in bed right now.

( : uhhhhhhhhh.....)

: Does he always... moan like that?
: I don't know.... I'm going in!!
*slam!*
ohhhhhhh, niiiiiiick!--- *gasp* .....!!!
: : Oh, uh..... hi maya..... listen, you should really knock before coming in like this
: So, uh, if you could come back in the mourning....
: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGH!!!! *runs off*
: Maya! What's going on? Maya! Come in!! God damn it!


: ahh, I'm finaly out of prison after pleading insanity and being cured of my split personallity! As long as nothing happens within the next six seconds to make me mentally unstable...
*runs by, still naked* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!
:.....
: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!


The next day
: so, that's how it happened, eh? Tough break there.
: I just can't believe it..... Nick
: Listen, the meeting is tomarow, and.... !!!! Hey, after that incident, do you hate mr. Wright.... with a vengance?
: No, I just-
: great!! You may be just what I need tomarrow at the meeting! Youre coming with me!!
Huh?
:
THUD
: and now we have all we need to complete our revenge on Mr. Phoenex wright tomarrow..... *Generic evil laugh*

Meanwhile, Police department

: I took the time to escape that crazy bitch's closet, But I know I'm not safe! Mr Gumshoe, I NEED you to look out for me, and a great payday is coming your way!
: oh boy, I really-
: Let Me out!!
: What was that?
: Oh, it was just my closet.... talking. DON'T MAKE ME WHIP YOU, CLOSET!!



To be continued....

---------------------

A stupid little thing I've been drawing at home... I feel like posting it here...

Witness Protection
Part 1 - Turnabout of Our Minds

: Hello, court. It's 12:00. The weather today is sunny. The jury left the court an hour ago after the trial of Michael Meekins, found not guilty for the murder of Lana Skye when Prosectuor Skye herself ran into the courtroom herself yelling, "I'm alive! I'm alive, you idiots!"
: Yeah. That was one heck of a trial.
: Yes, but... why are you all still here?
: I'm not leaving if they keep the coffee coming.
: Wait, some of the jury are still here.
The jury consists of , , , , , , , , and .
: Yay! My sister's alive!
and : Yay, you.
: So is mine, sadly.
: ...
: C'mon, Fran. Let's go.
and head to the door.
: Hmph. Who needs sibling when I have friends?
: Let's not talk about siblings, pardner.
: Quit angsting. People are going to call you the Emo Cowboy.
: Yes, ma'am!
: Let's go get lunch.
and leave.
: What are the rest of us still doing here?
: Well, scientifically... I don't know.
: MAGGEY KICK!!
: GAH! What was that for?!
: For killing Dustin! I can't believe how short your sentence was! And Engarde's. And just about everyone else.
continues beating on . flees.
: Bailiff! Break it up!
: The bailiff left.
: You know, I'll just be going to Starbucks.
runs out.
: Well... see you next time! If Mr. Wellington presses charges, Maggey... You know who to call!
grabs and sprints out, leaving to stare at the assault.
: Oh, for goodness sake.


Part 2 - It's Been a While, Buddy
: Hello?
: Oh! Ms. Skye! Congratulations on being alive after all!
: You're Mia's little sister, right? The medium?
: That's me!
: Well, all my friends are kind of dead. There's an old friend I wanted to talk to... or two...
: Who?
: Maybe you could channel your sister for me?
: Alright! I'll give it a shot.
: Hello, Lana!
: Hey, Mia! It's been a while. How's your sister?
: Great! She's been getting better and better as a medium. So is cousin Pearl, and she's a little kid! How's yours?
: Good. She still wants to be a scientific investigator when she grows up. How you been?
: Eh, not much to do in the afterlife. I check up on Phoenix now and then. You?
: Well, I've won the King of Prosecutors award a few times.
: But you're a woman.
: They just take of the K and replace it with a Q for "Queen of Prosecutors."
: I didn't think it was that delicate.
: Oh, it is. Remember Neil? He broke off the sword on the night of SL-9.
: Oh. Okay.
: Hey, and speaking of Neil...
: No way! I'm not channeling a man!
rushes off.
: ...Lonelyyyy... I'm so lonelyyyy... I have nobodyyyy... For my ownnnn...

Part 3 - Injection!
: Adrian, why are we at Engarde's house instead of yours?
: He's got wine. Thought you might like some.
: I'm eighteen.
: Just don't tell anyone!
: Hey, did you just hear that?
They go into 's room, where he's snoozing.
: Oh, he's asleep.
: He had it comin'... He had it comin'... He only had himself to blame...
: Adrian? What's that you're holding.
is holding a large syringe.
: LET'S EUTHANIZE HIM!
: What in the name of my father?!
: Heh heh, just kidding. This is water.
: Yikes. Just yikes.
: C'mon, let's go to the kitchen.
Once and are gone, wakes up and arrives, who has, by some unexplainable plot device, forgiven .
: ...Frame Adrian.
: It shall cost no extra, sir.
-----
In the kitchen...

and are in a corner drunk, each holding a bottle of wine. More empty bottles are all over the place.
: Hey, -hic- Fran! Whatever happened to "I'm eighteen, I can't have wine"?
: I can -hic- change my mind!
randomly walks in and starts lapping up a puddle of wine - it's okay, he does it often.
: Hey, look. It's Shoe.
: Shoe? You in there?
: Matt! Where's Mr. Doe?
: He's, uh... meeting someone for me.
-----
Meanwhile...

: *scarf grabbed by *
: Forgive me, sir. It's a living.

-----
: Wait, the wine! I was saving it!
: *flings her syringe* TAKE THIS!
It hits in the arm. He falls over snoring.
: That wasn't water.
: No.
: it wasn't euthanasia, either.
: Nope. It was... sedative.
: Where do you -hic- get sedative?
: I have this friend named Angie Thompson. She's a nurse.
: Was that just now worth wasting a dart for?
: It's okay. I have lots more in this bag.
reaches into a black bag and pulls out another syringe. Suddenly, bursts in.
: Adrian Andrews, you're under arrest for the murder of Richard Wellington!
: No -hic- fair! You have any evidence against me?
: As a matter of fact, we found a yellow hair at the scene of the crime.

pulls a rabbit out of nowhere, which is chased by .
: We're not quite drunk enough to think that was funny.
: Oh. Sorry. But we really did find this blonde hair on the victim's scarf.
: ...Understandable. It's black at the root.
: Oops. Wrong one. This one.
: Yep. That's Adrian's.
: You'll never take me -hic- alive!
flings another syringe, knocking out .
: See you later, Franny. I'm on the lam. If you want to find me, I'll be at the city jail tonight. We're -hic- having our monthly Drunken Show Tune Party there.
runs away.
: ...I'm not even gonna ask.

-Magmar's Fury, that was the funniest thing I have ever seen.
Hey, Phoenix! Want some gum?
Sure why not? *chew chew*
Aha! Joke gum!
Wh-what?
You're now addicted to heroine!
Ahahaha! You got me!
Hahahaahahahaahahahaaaa! ^_^
Aha...

I... feel... cold...

---

Win.

---------------------

GO AWAY LADY!

Come back Milesy!

ARE YOU BLIND, WOMAN!?!

C'mere!

That's it. *takes out a cannon*

Uh oh.

*fires*

*dead*

YAY!

AAH! We'red you come from?!?

Basically every male character from PW came to celebrate the death of Oldbag!

You're the one who sicked her on me.

... Touche'. But! With her gone, we can actually go places!

Here comes the Poptarts advertisements.

I DON'T DO THEM DAMMIT! They lied to me. They said 200 calories a pack, but it was actually 400!

Whatever.

---

Last edited by Nonsense on Thu May 10, 2007 7:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.

This is actually based on a comic I'm working on right now...

Mystic Maya, have you ever wondered why Mr. Nick keeps his hair so spiky all the time like that? I mean, it must take a lot of work to keep you hair as pointy as that...

Hmm....

Mystic Maya?

Maybe.....MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE HE'S SECRETLY A PART-TIME NINJA WHO USES HIS HAIR AS A WEAPON!! ZOMG!

W-what!??

Maya Fey's Magical Mind Theater Presents:

Phoenix Wright: The Hair-Throwing Ninja Attorney

*jumps through the window of a hotel room* Hmm...the coast is clear. Now to go and see what was in that drawer of hers....
???: It's not nice to sneak around in other people's rooms Mr. Lawyer...
*gasp* Oh no! It's you!! April May!
That's MISS May to you. Now I thought I told you not to look into that drawer. *takes out a shuriken*
You should respect other people's privac--


Objection? Silly little lawyer this isn't a court ro- WHAT!?!?
*throws strands of his sharp hair at April May*
*hair gets caught onto her clothing and gets stuck to the top of the wall* ARGH!!
Ha! Well MISS May. Sorry to leave you "hanging around", but I have to go.
I'll be taking this phonetap and presenting it in court tomorrow. See ya! *jumps out the window*
Grrr.....CURSE YOU, STUPID NINJA ATTORNEY!!!

>End of Maya's Magical Mind Theater<

....

....

...Or, maybe Nick just really likes that hairstyle because it's so dynamic and everything. Yeah. That's probably it.

Ah okay.

*Maya and Pearl walk off*

*Meanwhile*

Wright.
Ack! Uh..er...hey Edgeworth what's up??
Where's that $20 you said you were going to pay me back about a week ago?
Oh that. Er....
Well?!?
Um..um...

Objection? Wright, we're not in a courtro-
HURRRK!!!
*hair spikes go flying into Edgeworth's chest as he falls to the ground*
ACK!
Eheheh...sorry about that Edgeworth. Reflex I guess.
......
Okay Edgeowrth you can wake up now.
......
...urm...Edgeworth?
......
....Oh crap...
OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED EDGEWORTH!! YOU BASTARD!!!
NOOOOOO!!!!! *runs away*

~~~~~

And that's how I became a hobo!
......
What?

---

With all this "And that's how I bacame a hobo!" business, I feel like making a parody.

*casually walking to court*
*pops up out of the ground* May I take your order sir?
Eh?!
One large Eh. Will that be all?
Um, sure, I guess...
That'll be one-fifty at the next hole in the ground. Have a nice day! *goes back into the hole*
What the hell is going on here? *continues walking*
*pops up-you know what I'm gonna say*
GAH!

... Uh, here you go. *hands over $2*
Thank you! Here's your large Eh!
Thanks? *walks off again*
Hmm... Smells like ramen. Wonder what it taste like?. -crunch-
...
BLECK! That tasted horrible! Wait... What's going on?! AHHH!
*pop*
Woah. Hey, where'd this hat come from?
Looks awesome.
Hello, king.
Ahh! Yuusaku?! What are you doing here?!
Ah, you are mistaken. I am not the Yuusaku you know, I have temprorarily taken the form of his body.
You mean, you're in his body?
Not quite. I've simply copied the shape of his body and pasted it to myself.
Okay. But why did you call me king?
Because you have eaten the sacred large Eh, which gave you the hat of kings!
Does that mean I'm a king now?
Yes, it does, Your Majesty.
Woo hoo! I'm king!
---
And that's how I bacame a hobo.
I thought you became king?
Meh, king, hobo, same diff.
... Rrrrriiiiight.
---
And that's how I went forward in time and told my future understudy a fake but awesome story!
... Rrrrriiiiight.

Yes, I know. It sucks.

---

I thought so too.

---

Phoenix Wright: Adventures in Azeroth

DAMMIT LARRY. SWITCH TO DEFENSIVE STANCE. And for god's sake, put on a shield. You're the TANK!

Man, I can't use Mortal Strike if I'm in Defensive Stance! That's crazy talk!

Well will Maya at least get out of Shadowform?

Sorry Nick, no can do. Besides, Edgey's the Paladin. He's the healer. Now stop distracting me and conjur me some water when you have the chance, okay?

Hey, guys? You know when we jumped down the ledge?

Yeah?

I forgot to dismiss my pet...



*Divine Shield*

*Hearthstone*


Phoenix - Male Gnome Mage

Maya - Female Night Elf Priest

Edgeworth - Male Human Paladin

Gumshoe - Male Dwarven Hunter

Larry - Female Draenei Warrior

---

Wow. That's Evercrack right? I remeber doing one of those on Lord of the Rings....
Anyways, a continuation of
PHOENIX IN THE PARKS
PHOENIX AND CO. ON VACATION IN DISNEY WORLD
OK, now that we're finally at our room...*Opens door* Oh crap.
What wrong?
Look at the room.
The room is a normal sized room. Average TV, average bathroom. There's only one problem.
Great. A single bed room.
Give me a second. *Pick up phone and dials Pearls's room* Hello, Pearls?
Yes, Mr. Nick?
Our room has only one bed. I'm going to assume that all the other rooms have one bed. Since I fell asleep when I was working on the reservations, and you completed them whilst I was asleep, I'm guessing you had something to do with it.
Mr. Nick, these were the only rooms left! I swear!
Fine. Whatever. *Hangs up*
I don't know what to do. With all the rooms having one bed, what's going to happen.
Pearl and Cody will be OK. They're...what? Eight years old. They don't know anything about that!
----meanwhile----
Well, I brought the whip.
Woohoo!
And the chains.
Yes!
And as an extra special suprise...
Handcuffs! This is gonna be great.
--------
Also, why are Edgy and Friska in the same room?
I'm not sleeping with her, you and Pearl don't wanna be in the same room with her, and Pearl won't let Cody in the same room with her.
But what about Edgeworth.
Who cares about him?

---

Close. It's WoW :P

---

*gets sad, gnomie eyes*



If the crying doesn't work, we can flood the room with tears and swim away while they're distracted!

---

Hey, I thought it was funny :P

---

Oh.



CHEERS!

---

Larry's character would SO be a female :P

---

- "For the 200th time, Godot, I CANNOT conjure coffee."

- "This game sucks!"

- "WTH u sayin U ph3il at life!"

- "Figures he would be on it."

- "WTB gold?"

- "Sal is a gold farmer?!"

- "Nickel Samurai must be doing rather poorly."

- "W00t!!! Hot! j00 wanna cyb3r?"

- "Get him away from me! I'm reporting you!"

- *moderator* "You just bought your way to a banning, Sal Manella!"

- "WT-"

- "Hooray! The realm is a better place!"

- "Do you want to cybsexer?"

- *sob*

- "You think YOU have it rough!?"

- "Oh, Edgy-poo!"

- *sobbors*

---

Sal being a gold farmer = PERFECT.

---

...
I would hate for him to be a Judge of my trial!


And is THAT the defense attourney? He looks incompetent... AND he needs a haircut!


>.>
Oldbag = my Nan >....>

---

Another continuation of
PHOENIX IN THE PARKS
PHOENIX AND CO ON VACATION IN DISNEY WORLD
--------
OK, now that we're in the park, what do you want to do first?
*Bouce* I want to see the parade!
The parade doesn't start for another...*looks at watch*...five hours!
Come one Maya, everyone knows you gotta get your seats saved hours ahead if you want any good ones! I'll just sit here for you guys.
Thanks Mr. Nick!
OK Pearly. Let's go!
--------
Let's go check on Nick.
Woohoo! Parade!
Hey, guys!
Nick! What's happened to you. You look older!
What? All I did was buy a beanie because my head was cold!
But you have stubble now!
Just a little five-o'clock shadow.
Fine. We'll be back when the parade starts.
See ya!
--------
ZOMFG! NICK WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!
:yanni: I'm perfectly fine. A'yup!
He grew old! I shouldn't have asked him to wait!
Oh, hey guys. Thanks for saving my spot Yanni. Here's a churro.
:yanni: Good job keith!

---

Date: ??? ; Time: ??? ; Location: ???

*In a dark room somewhere...*

...

...

Hey Derek...

Huh?

Do you have any idea where we are?

Uh... Actually, no... *Looks around* Doesn’t look like we’re in the GS-CGP Studio anymore, though.

*Thinks* Hmm... Where the hell are we—?

*Derek suddenly hears footsteps...*

Psst... Did ya hear that, Kyle?

Hear what?

Listen!

*Derek feels around and finds a metallic, door-like object. He and Kyle press their ears onto it and listen.*

Hey... I hear footsteps...

I wonder where exactly we are...

WHUZZAM!!!

*Something that sounds like a blaster goes off!*

WTF?! What was that sound?

I dunno!

WHUZZAM!!! WHUZZAM!!!

Crap! There it goes again!

...

Hey Derek, what’s up?

I... I’ve got a bad feeling about this...

*The door to the dark room opens... A tall, dark figure with a mask walks in.*

???: Ah, I see you two are awake...

Who... Who the hell are you, and why aren’t we at the GS-CGP Studio?!

???: *Shakes head* Are you two that stupid? You are... my prisoners.

PRISONERS?! WHAT A?! GARYUU!!! IS THAT YOU?!

Kyle, I don’t think that’s Garyuu...

H-Huh?

???: The bespectacled one is correct, foolish Bradley-Boo bourbon-loving, evidence-boosting, desu ex-detective!

Then who are you?!

???: Must I explain everything...?

*The person removes his mask and reveals... ANOTHER MASK!!!*

HOEZ SNAP!!!

HOLY SHIT, IT CAN’T BE—?!

... *Theme music begins to play in the background*

& DARTH VADER!!!

Welcome aboard Star Destroyer Number One, my fools... Care to look out the window?

*Darth Vader uses Force Push to make the two look out one of the Star Destroyer’s windows.*

WE’RE IN OUTER SPACE!!!

WH-WHY DID YOU CAPTURE US?!

I will not answer questions right now... But you will. Bring in the Interrogation Droid!

& NO!!! HELP!!!

...

*Crawling letters appear! Music plays!*



...

Hotel Diner, 8:30 PM:

Okay everybody! Since you all passed the Second Stage of my contest, I’ve come to bring you all... *Snaps fingers and plates full of food appear* FREE FOOD!!!

ALRIGHT!!! FREE FOOD!!!

*Everybody starts to dig in, except Mayoi, who glares suspiciously at me.*

Hey, Mayoi-chan... Why aren’t you eating anything?

I don’t trust this food-ttebayo!

*Munches on a squid* Whaddya mean? You trust ANY kind of food... so long as it gets digested!

I don’t trust this one because it might kill me!

... Oh, boy...

Kill you? What are you talking about?

*Points at me* ORCAIZER AL!!! YOU POISONED THIS FOOD SO I’LL DIE, DIDN’T YOU?! NARUTTEBAYO!!!

Mayoi, are you crazy? I hate your guts, sure, but I wouldn’t stoop so low as to poison someone!

Liar! You... You can’t fool me-ttebayo!

Mayoi-san... Maybe you should just calm down and—

DON’T INTERFERE, KYOUYA!!! *Stands on the table, shaking her fist*

*Sigh* Listen here... Mayoi, even if I did wanna kill you, which I won’t because people’ll hunt me down and sell my carcass for seashells, I wouldn’t use poison. That’s so old-fashioned and Chinami-like, dude! If I was to kill you, I’d just order my Greymon to use one hell of a Nova Blast attack, right, Greymon?

Righto, Aru-sempai!

See? Now you should just sit down and... Mayoi? Hey, where’d you go—?

Al! Look up!

Aru-sempai! The ceiling!

What the... *Looks up*

*Jumping down from the ceiling* GAAH!!! TAJYUU: MAYOBUNSHIN NO JUTSU!!!

Holy shit!

I’M GONNA GET YOU, ORCAIZER AL!!! DATTEBAYO!!!

ACK!!! WAIT!!!

A!!!

YA!!!

SA!!!

TO!!!

MAYUTO RENDAN!!!

ZOMFGZMINUKIHELPMEMINUKIHELPMEMINUKI!!!

*<Insert violent me-getting-pummeled-by-an-incredible-angry-spirit-medium scene here.>*

Pain... So much pain...

Hehe! Now, time to eat some ramen! *Goes back to her seat and eats*

...

...

*Finishes one bowl* What?

... Why the bloody hell are you eating ramen?

*Eats* What’s wrong with that-ttebayo?

Oh, nothing... It just destroys the purpose of you beating up Al over there!

Oh, don’t worry, guys! She didn’t beat me up that badly... See? I’m still alive, and I’m still conscious, unlike Akane, Souryuu, and Chihiro.

Speaking of which... Where are those three, anyway?

*Bursts into the room* PLEASE TELL ME THAT I JUST HAD A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE!!!

... Looks like Akane’s awake...

Huh? Hey Akane, WTF is up?

Why do you look so nervous and mentally scarred?

Because I am!

Huh? Why, what happened?

It’s... It’s horrible!

What’s horrible?

*Akane faints. Weird, eerie noises start coming from behind a door.*

W-What was that scary sound?

I... I dunno, but it sounds like...

*The noises sound again.*

Okay, that is SERIOUSLY getting freaky!

It sounds like a bear!

Why the hell would there be a bear in here?

*The noises sound... AGAIN.*

Al, this isn’t funny!

Huh? What made you think that I had something to do with this? Those noises are scaring the hell out of me as well!

Hmm... I wonder...

What is it, Future!Me?

*Turns to Minuki* Minuki... This isn’t one of your magic tricks, is it?

Who? Me? No way!

*The noises sound YET AGAIN...*

Okay, those noises are getting more annoying that creepy! That does it! Al, can I borrow your Greymon for a sec?

Huh? What are you gonna do with Greymon?

I’m gonna settle this once and for all! Whatever’s making those noises, I’m gonna give ‘em a piece of my mind! Naruhodou! Mayoi! You guys come with me, too!

H-Huh? Why?

If there’s a hideous monster there, it can eat you first while I run away screaming like a girl with my cravat swinging by the side of my neck!

(Gee, what a pal you are, Mitsurugi...)

Well, that monster better watch out ‘cuz I’m gonna kick its butt! Dattebayo!

But why do you need me?

To fight the monster! C’mon, Greymon! Let’s go! *Marches over to the door*

ALL RIGHT!!! Time to kick some monster ass-ttebayo! Hwy, Naruhodou-kun! Let’s go!

Can’t I just stay here and... supervise?

Aww, don’t be such a wuss! *Grabs Naruhodou and marches over to the door*

NO!!! I DON’T WANNA GO!!!

*Mitsurugi prepares to bus open the door...*

Think they’ll win against the monster?

Provided that there IS a monster...

Huh? If it’s not a monster, then what is it?

Well, Akane DID say that it was something mentally scarring...

But what’s more mentally scarring than a monster?

Prosecutor Payne in the shower.

...

...

...

...

ZOMFGZ!!! HOBOHODO-SAN!!! BAD MENTAL IMAGES!!!

See what I mean? *Laughs*

Eh... In case that IS Payne... Maybe we should all stand behind Mitsurugi and Greymon... Y’know, for battle support?

Hmm... Good idea!

Yeah!

...

...

...

Let’s stand 500 feet away from them.

Gotcha!

*Everyone stays by the farthest corner of the room, while Mitsurugi prepares to open the door...*

*Nervous* Here goes nothing...

*Mitsurugi puts his hand on the doorknob.*

*Tension*

*Tension*

*Tension*

*Tension*

Hey! Why the hell is there a Flamedramon here?!

Oops... Ehehe... Just thought you might need backup!

Greymon will suffice!

Oh. Sorry, Flamedramon!

Aww, man... *Returns to the Digi-World*

A-Anyway! Lemme just open the door!

*Mitsurugi turns the knob...*

(Please don’t let there be a corpse in there, please don’t let there be a corpse in there, please don’t let there be a corpse in there!)

(Please let there be a corpse in there-ttebayo, please let there be a corpse in there-ttebayo, please let there be a corpse in there-ttebayo!)

Hey, what’s the big idea?

What? I WANT to see an awesome, gross, slimey, rotting, fluid-secreting zombie with limbs falling off in there-ttebayo!

I think I’m gonna be sick.

*Naruhodou and Mayoi watch as Mitsurugi opens the door, sweating.*

HERE GOES NOTHING!!!

*Mitsurugi finally opens the door!*

GREYMON! QUICK! NOVA BLAST!!!

*Sprays flames all over the room*

*Somebody in the room screams!!!*

GAAH!!! I KNEW IT!!! IT’S A MONSTER!!!

A MONSTER! LEMME AT ‘EM! LEMME AT ‘EM! LEMME AT ‘EM!!! *Boxes with the air*

*The flames clear and allow the three to see what’s in the room.*

ZOMFGZ!!! MAH EYES!!!

What is it? Is it a monster?

Well? Lemme see!

Me too!

I don’t wanna see!

Aww, don’t be a wimp! Let’s see what those three found! *Grabs me by the collar*

ACK!!!

*Everyone looks at what Mitsurugi’s team found, and...*

ZOMFGZ!!! MAH EYES!!!

Damn it, you two! Have some shame!

*Hiding behind a crate* Who told you to barge in on us, anyway?!

*Also hiding behind a crate* QUICK! Get the children outta here!!!

GREYMON!!! COVER THEIR DISGRACE WITH YOUR FLAMES!!!

*Looking away from the two* SIR, YES, SIR!!! *Uses Nova Blast*

& AHH!!!

Mr. Al? Why are Chihiro-san and Souryuu-san wrestling in their birthday suits?

GAH!!!

& LOOK AWAY, HAMI-CHAN!!! *Covers Harumi’s eyes*

Okay... Al, make something happen for us to forget all that eye poison!

Uh... What am I supposed to do?

JUST THINK OF SOMETHING RANDOM SO WE CAN FORGET THAT HORRIBLE MENTALLY-SCARRING THING, DAMMIT!!!

GAH! Okay, okay... Uh...

*Someone suddenly knocks at the door.*

*Sees a weird, vacuum-like thing standing at his feet* What the...

What is it?

Looks like... a messenger droid.

Do you guys think there’s a holographic message in there?

Let’s see! *Activates the droid’s holographic projector*

*A hologram appears...*

Help us, Obi Wan Kenobi... You’re our only hope.

HEY, IT’S YUUSAKU!!!

HEY, YOU’RE RIGHT-TTEBAYO!!!

*Hologram blurs* Help us, Obi Wan Kenobi... *Blurs* You’re our only hope.

Hey, she’s pretty!

Uh... Odoroki? *Whispers something in Odoroki’s ear*

GOOD GRIEF THAT’S A MAN?!

Help us, Obi Wan Kenobi... You’re our only hope.

Now why does he keep saying that?

Because Darth Vader has captured the people of Alderaan... and the GS-CGP Hosts.

HOLY CRAP! OBI WAN KENOBI!!!

*A la Alec Guinness* Hello there.

Hey! Mr. Jedi! Why is Yuusaku calling for you in that hologram?

Yeah! Shouldn’t it be Princess Leia?

We didn’t have enough time to look for a smilie of her, and decided that, hey, since Yuusaku looks a lot like Princess Leia anyway... Why not use him?

Hmm. Good point!

So... What’s this about Darth Vader capturing people?

He attacked the planet Alderaan and captured everyone there. Then, somehow, he managed to get into the GS-CGP Studio and capture Kyle Hyde an Derek Stiles as well! They’re all inside Star Destroyer Number One right now, and it is my task to save them!

B-But... Why would he capture Mr. Host Men?

That, I don’t know. But to save them all... I need your help. All of you.

OUR HELP?!

That’s right. I will need more backup on this rescue mission.

But couldn’t you just call Luke, Han, and Chewie or something?

Luke’s on vacation in Hawaii.

What about Han Solo and Chewbacca?

They got drunk at a poker game and can’t drive the Millenium Falcon till they’re sober.

Oh, so you have the Millenium Falcon right now, Mr. Kenobi?

Well... Yes. It’s parked outside the hotel—

Friggen sweet! I wanna see it!!!

Well, all right...

*The group moves out of the Hotel Diner...*

H-Hey! What about us?

Hmm? I sense a disturbance in the Force! *Turns around* Who was that?!

Psst! Over here!

Um... I wouldn’t go in there if I were you...

And why not? I’m sure I can handle it!

Oh no...

*Obi Wan enters the room.*

Hello there—

...

...

... Uh... Hi?

OMFG!!! *Runs out of the room*

Maybe we should just get to the Millenium Falcon already...

What? You’re just gonna leave my sis in there while the rest o us go on an amazing galactic adventure-ttebayo?

B-But...

You can do something about it, right, Al?

...

...

Of course I can, Minuki!

NARUTTEBAYO?!

Okay. If you really want those two to come, well...

*<Insert weird time-space continuum-warping effect here.>*

Okay! Those two can go with us now, but...

...

...

WTF?!

I sorta... swapped their genders.

UB-JICT-SHUN!!! I AM MICHAEL FEY!!! UB-JICT-SHUN! UB-JICT-SHUN! UB-JICT-SHUN!!!

... Al, I think I hate you.

... Let’s just get to the Millenium Falcon already.

...

Onboard the Millenium Falcon:

All right. Is everybody here?

Here!

Here!

Here-ttebayo!

We’re all here.

Here!

Now, if everybody’s ready for take-off...

WAIT UP!!!

*Someone knocks on the door of the Millenium Falcon.*

Hmm? Who could that be?

*Obi Wan opens the door.*

& SORRY WE’RE LATE!!!

OMFG!!! YOU SWAPPED GENDERS!!!

Now THAT... is more disturbing. Hey... IS THAT MY BODY SPRITE?!

... Uh...

At least you’re not Michael Fey!

Anyway! We’re on a rescue mission. Thus, you will need some weapons!

Do we get cool lightsabers?

Well... Yes... and no. See, I’ve only got four lightsabers with me, so the rest will get either blasters or Plasma Pistols.

Plasma Pistols?

From Halo?

We have a very low budget right now, okay?!

Either way... Who gets the lightsabers?

The ones who have the strongest connection to the Force, of course!

THAT’S ME!!! I’VE GOT THE STRONGEST CONNECTION TO THE FORCE!!!

NO, IT’S ME! I’VE GOT THE STRONGEST CONNECTION TO THE FORCE!!!

*To Mitsurugi* WHAT?! YOU DARE DEFY ME, MITSURUGI?!

I AM NOT THE ONE DOING THE DEFYING, NARUHODOU!!!

YOU DARE MAKE FUN OF US SPARTANS?!

WHAT?! THIS IS MADNESS!

MADNESS? NO. THIS... IS... SPARTA!!!

TONIGHT, WE DINE... IN HELL!!!

*Naruhodou and Mitsurugi start fighting each other.*

*Sweatdrops* Perhaps it was a bad idea to tell them that...

*Whistles innocently*

All right then! You with the dual hair spikes! Here is your lightsaber!

*Obi Wan gives Odoroki a blue lightsaber.*

All right!

& WHAT A?!

That’s what happens when you stop paying attention to things, Naruhodou-kun! Dattebayo!

*Ahem* Anyway... I think I’ll just start picking out who’ll get the lightsabers by random.

*Obi Wan extends his right arm and points at the other GS-CGP Contestants.*

Cool! I wonder if he’s gonna use an awesome Jedi Force Technique!

A super new Force Technique that’s never been seen before!

*Arm extended* Now... Ini Mimi Miney Moe!

... THAT’S IT?!

& He just chose at random?

The other three people who will receive lightsabers are... You! Magician Girl! Cravat Man! And... Pinstriped Jio Freed-look-alike!

Yay! I get a lightsaber!

Me too!

Who are you calling a Jio Freed-look-alike?! I mean... Yay, I got a lightsaber.

Hmph. Plasma Pistols are more badass anyway!

You said it, Hobo-meister! *Hi-fives Hobohodo*

*Obi Wan distributes the weapons.*

Alright. Now that everyone’s got a weapon, we can take-off!

*The Millenium Falcon takes off!*

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One:

Damn it! That Interrogation Droid was a real pain!

I don’t feel any pain at all! Thank goodness for my natural healing abilities!

Derek, you hax!

What? It’s the truth!

Grr... Anyway, we gotta get outta here!

And how do you suppose we do that?

*Two Storm Troopers walk by.*

I’ve got an idea!

Oh! I get ya! Maybe we can finally get out of—

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Being stubborn, aren’t you?

... Oh, snap.

I simply cannot have you two wandering about like this... *Raises right hand*

*Chokes* G-Grr... Force Grip...

Kyle!

What will you do now? I’ll just Force Grip you, you know...

Damn it! What are you gonna do with us, huh?

I have no intention of telling you. *Force Grips Derek as well*

GAH!!!

...

Onboard the Millenium Falcon:

I’ve checked the radar, and it appears the Star Destroyer we’re looking for is only one system away.

One system? How far is that?

Quite far by ordinary means, but since this is the Millenium Falcon...

Oh yeah! Is this what I think it is?

*Places hand on the Hyperspace Button* When you’re ready...

WE’RE READY!!!

& Ready? Ready for wha—

*Presses Hyperspace Button*

*<Insert uber awesome Hyperspace Animation here!>*

SO... FRIGGEN... AWESOME!!!

... TO BE CONTINUED.

I apologize for anyone I may have offended with this. Sorry to all Obi Wan fans who hate seeing him get abused by my weirdness. :/

---

Al! That is just genius! Putting Star Wars in your funnies has just made my day! And though I'm an Obi-Wan fan, I'm not offended at all. In fact, I find it funny when my favorite characters are being bashed! Looking forward to seeing the rest of this! Great job!

---

Wow, Al! So many unexpected plot twists that I lost track of how many twists there are. You have more twists than Hurricane Country! Excellent Stuff!

This topic puts my scroll bar to the test.

---

LOL Yeah.
Have you checked a few pages back?
One of them has funnies from Orcaizer Al, Chinese Infantry and myself all together.
Now that's a nightmare!

Now that I think about it... I might just make Part Five of the Channel Six: Turnabout News story.

Win!

---

Oh no! The topic is dieing!
Can't you do something?
What makes you think I can do anything?
You're a doctor!
I'm just in the body of a doctor!
Oh crap. Just do something!
OK, then, let's begin the operation! Adrian, you're my nurse.
Why do I have to be your nurse?
Because there isn't an Angie smilie. *request* And you have long blonde hair, she has long blonde hair, she's the game's only source of sex appeal, you...Well, you're part of the wide spread sex appeal. It just kinda works out.
Whatever. How exactly are we going to operate on a topic?
....Touche'.

---

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

*Crawling... Music playing...*





*Scroll down to view of the Utapau System below... Yes, Utapau.*

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Outermost Chamber:

All right! We've made it to the outermost chamber of the Star Destroyer... We should be—

Do we get to kick some Sith Ass now-ttebayo?

I was going to say—

YEAH, I WANNA KICK SOME SITH ASS, TOO! DATTEBAYO!!!

Be quiet and let the Jedi talk, Mayoi!

*Ahem* Now... There are a lot of droids in this area, so we must be careful not to get detected right away.

How do we do that?

I'll destract them all with a Jedi Mind Trick first, and lead them to one of the exits... *Takes out some metallic balls from his pocket* Then Hobohodo, Kyouya, and Akane can attack them with these Thermal Detonators.

Thermal Detonators?

Wouldn't that worsen the situation? I mean, if the other folks in this ship hear the sound...

These are special ones, made in Germany. They've got built-in silencers, and the sound should only be as loud as a Von Karma Fingersnap.

I see, I see...

*Gives the detonators to Hobohodo, Akane, and Kyouya* Be ready with these... Once you hear the droids, blast them, and we can make our way in!

Are these as badass as Fuel Rod Cannons?

Are these things chargeable like Plasma Pistols?

Could you tell me the molecular composition of this, Obi Wan?

Er... Sorry, these aren't as good as the grenades in Halo...

Heh, I knew it. Halo grenades are teh pwnzorz!!!

You said it, Hobo-meister! *Hi-fives Hobohodo*

*Hobohodo, Kyouya, and Akane head to the exits.*

Uh... Okay... So, what kinds of droids are patrolling the area, Obi Wan?

Actually, I'm not so sure myself... I've never seen droids like these before.

You mean... These droids are an unknown type?

If they're an unknown type, then that means they might be stronger than your average Battle Droid, have more firepower than a Super Battle Droid, faster than a Hailfire Droid, more formidable than a Vulture Droid, or has better shields than an Armored Droideka!!

Those sure are a lot of droids...

I've been reading up on my Star Wars Stock Knowledge guide! I can even copy Viceroy Nute Gunray's voice! Wanna hear it?

That's... nice... but I think we'll pass.

I agree with Minuki!

...

What?

... Nothing. I just remembered that none of you are as interested in droids as I am...

*Sigh* Oh, cut the drama, Mitsurugi! We have no time for that!

You wouldn't understand! I... I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams... Where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk alone.

...

...

Did you just sing a Green Day song?

I must be emo!

So, what do these droy-yids look like, Mr. Obi Wan?

Take a look through this window. I hear these things are called... Bajur Droids?

*Obi Wan moves over to show a window revealing...*

*March around in circles while their annoying theme plays*

The Blue Badger...

& Er... Taiho-sempai?

You have GOT to be kidding me. THESE are the Patrol Droids?

They don't look too intimidating, but we have to get rid of them. Now, let me just use my Kedi Mind Tri—

AWW, SCREW THE MIND TRICKS-TTEBAYO! I CAN BEAT THESE THINGS EASILY!!!

MAYOI! NOT SO LOUD—

*Jumps down onto the platform below* DATTEBAAAAAAYOOOO!!!

Mayoi-chan! Let me come, too! *Jumps down as well*

HAMI-CHAN!!!

Okay, time for a Plan B! Everybody... JUMP!!!

*Naruhodou, Obi Wan, and Mitsurugi jump down.*

Er, no thanks... I'll pass—

Wheee!!! *Jumps down*

M-Minuki!

...

...

& WAIT FOR ME, MINUKI!!!

*Odoroki and I jump down as well.*

...

...

...

& ... What about us?!

...

*On the platform full of Badger Droids...*

*Lands and looks at the Badgers* Hello there!

That's MY line!

INTRUDER!!!

*The Blue Badgers fire their blasters.*

*Turns to everybody* Shall we?

DROP YER WEAPON!

*Ignite their lightsabers* Yeah!

*Odoroki, Mitsurugi, and Minuki slash at some Badgers. Obi Wan uses a Force Jump and strikes down with his lightsaber, destroying six Badgers at once!*

& *Fire blasters and destroy some Badgers* HELL YEAH!!!

*Akane, Kyouya, and Hobohodo hear the noise from the outside and burst in.*

WTF happened to "Stay outside while I use a Jedi Mind Trick on them"?!

We had a... *Destroys one Badger* bit of an unexpected change... *Destroys another Badger* But please, by all means... put those detonators to good use!

Hehe! Time to blow some stuff up!

There're still a lot of Badgers here-ttebayo... Are you ready, Hami-chan?

You bet!

*Mayoi and Harumi take their magatamas and hold them together...*

& FUUUUSIOOOOON!!!

*Mayoi and Harumi get enveloped in a cloud of smoke and emerge as—!*

OOOOHH YEEAAAHH!!! TIME TO KICK SOME BLUE BADGER ASS-TTEBAYO!!!

GAH! MAYOI! HAMI-CHAN!

THE KYUUBI?!

*The Kyuubi releases an outburst of energy and destroys all the remaining Badgers!*

... *Blank stare*

*Mayoi and Harumi change back into their normal selves.*

What? What's everybody staring at?

Why is everbody but Ms. Science Lady looking at us like that?

(Curse my lack of an "OMFG!" Smilie!)

You just transformed into the Kyuubi and back!

Hehe! I know! It's so awesome! Dattebayo!

...

Looks like being a female Naruto's a good thing after all, eh, Al?

I choose to stay silent.

Line-stealer! And we didn't get to use the detonators...

*Deactivates lightsaber* Well, at least we can still use those detonators for later. We should go to the inner chambers now.

Hmm... Why does it feel like... Somebody's missing?

Missing?

What are you talking about?

Hey! Where are Souryuu-san and Chihiro-san?

You mean Sora and Michael... since, they're, you know... genderswapped?

Jen-dur-swapped?

You know what, never mind.

Well, wherever the hell Souryuu and Chihiro are, if they're not coming, then we can just continue this mission without them.

& *Suddenly appear* WE'RE RIGHT HERE, DAMN IT!!!

Hey... How did you two get your original bodies back?

We found a weird capsule outside and, since it looked like coffee, I drank it.

Apparently, it was able to change us back.

Well, that's a good thing!

(Hopefully, you two don't abuse them again and give us all bad mental images.)

I HEARD THAT!!! *Punches Naruhodou*

DAMN PSYCHICS!!! PAIIIIN!!!

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Hidden Cell:

Oww... My neck hurts...

Hey Kyle, are we still alive? Or are we in hell?

Let's see... My neck hurts from all the Force Chokes, by back burns from all the Force Lightning attacks, and I feel like I just fell into a lava pit in Mustafar.

... We're still alive, aren't we?

Unfortunately, yeah.

Well... While we're still living carbon-based lifeforms... Don't you think we should plan our escape?

And get caught by Darth Vader again? No way! That tin-can head—!

TIN-CAN HEAD?!

ACK!! DARTH VADER!!!

I have good news for the both of you...

& G-Good news?

*Vader places a holographic generator on a table in the room, showing Obi Wan's rescue team in a room full of brken Blue Badgers!*

H-Hey! Those are the GS-CGP Contestants!

And that's Obi Wan Kenobi!

The foolish Jedi assemble a rescue team to try and save all my captives... However...

I don't like the sound of that "however".

*To Derek* SILENCE!! I'M ABOUT TO DELIVER A CLASSIC VILLAIN UNFORTUNATE NEWS SEGMENT!!!

*Vader Force-Grips Derek.*

ACK!! Okay, okay, I'll stay silent!!

What the hell is this unfortunate event—?

Keep your eyes on the hologram, gentlemen...

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Hallway:

All right. Now that everybody's here, let's go—

NOT SO FAST, JEDI SCUM!!!

*Dramatic turn-around scene and super close-up* You...

GENERAL GRIEVOUS!!!

(CURSE MY LACK OF A SHOCK SMILIE!!!)

& (You're not the only one!)

*Coughs* Hehehehe... I've been looking forward to meeting you again, General Kenobi...

General Grievous... I thought I destroyed you back at Utapau—!

*Laughs* Lord Vader was able to warp time and recreate me... Now, my task is to destroy you all!

WHAT?!

That's right! *Removes his cape* Unless of course... A certain Negotiator has the guts to go against me again...?

You mean to say...

*Gets four lightsabers with his mechanical arms* Hahaha! Well? Do you accept?

I...

Why the hesitation, General Kenobi? *Coughs* Are you afraid to lose... and die?

Obi Wan! Don't do it!

Grievous might cheat and kick your butt bad!

WELL? WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER?!

I WILL FIGHT YOU, GENERAL GRIEVOUS!!!

SAY WHAT?!

*Souryuu takes his blue lightsaber and walks up to Grievous.*

I said I am gonna fight you!

S-Souryuu-kun!

*Laughs* Maahahahahaha! You make me laugh! I am only interested in battling the Negotiator!

Well, too bad! I can make you completely lose your shit as much as Obi Wan can!

Feh! Your arrogance annoys me... Very well! If you want to lose so much... then be my guest! *Ignites the four lightsabers*

YOU... ARE... ON!! *Ignites lightsaber*

*Souryuu and Grievous fight! Souryuu tries to slash at Grievous, but Grievous evades by jumping up!*

What's the matter? Can't even hit me?

You shut up and die!

*Grievous is still in the air... Souryuu does (a very pathetic) Force Jump and tries to attack, but Grievous blocks!*

NOT... GOOD... ENOUGH!!

Grr...

*Grievous lands... and does his UBER AWESOME LIGHTSABER SPINNING TECHNIQUE!!! Grievous directs the spinning lightsabers at Souryuu's neck, and almost hits... But Souryuu is able to block the attack just in time!*

Hahaha! A desperate attempt from a desperate loser!

Souryuu-san! Let me and the others help you! You can't win this on your own!

Odoroki's right! Kaminogi, you need more lightsabers for backup—!

*To Odoroki and Mitsurugi* YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! I CAN WIN ON MY OWN!

& BUT GENERAL GRIEVOUS ALMOST CUT YOUR HEAD OFF—!!!

I SAID SHUT UP!!! GIVE ME A FEW MINUTES, AND THIS DROID'S GONNA BITE THE DUST!!!

I'M... NO... DROID!!!

*Grievous attacks again! This time, with his lightsabers rotating at twice the speed! Souryuu tries to block the attacks, but Grievous is going way too fast!*

*Almost hit by one of the blades* Shit!

DIE!!!

*Grievous uses the Lightsaber Boomerang technique and tries to kill Souryuu, but instead hits a buttons which causes part of the ceiling to collapse!*

WATCH OUT!!!

*The part of the ceiling breaks completely and falls on one of General Grievous's limbs, breaking it off!*

Well that was a close call!

How many near-fatal blows does that idiot have to get before he realizes he's no good against Grievous?!

*Armored Droidekas suddenly start to fill the room!*

& Crap! Armored Droidekas! Hundreds of them!

*The Droidekas start firing!*

Blast! If we stay here any longer, thoise Droidekas will have destroyed us! We have to retreat!

*Hit by blaster fire* Ahh! We have to get out of here!

B-But... What about Souryuu-kun?

Sensei! Can't you see he's being a total lunatic right now?

Yeah! Grievous is obviously kicking his butt, and he STILL wants to fight!

Can't you see Souryuu's being a stupid asshole—?!

SHUT UP!!! *Slaps Naruhodou*

*The Droidekas continue firing... Grievous still keeps attacking, while Souryuu blocks.*

& OBI WAN! WE NEED TO GO... NOW!!!

Souryuu Kaminogi! Back down now! You can't possibly win against General Grievous! We can all just retreat right now!

Listen to him! Please!

Shut up! I can win this! YYEEEAAAAAAAARRGGH!!!

*Souryuu charges at Grievous! Grievous blocks his attack!*

Hahaha... You are being foolish! You think you can beat me? You're not even a real Jedi! Hell, you're not even a Padawan!

Grr... You...

I sense something in you...

What?!

You... YOU HAVE HATRED!!

Hey, I have it, too!

Shut up, Sasuke! YOU LACK HATRED!!!

Hmph! *Walks away*

Okay... What the hell was Uchiha Sasuke doing in here?

Whatever the reason is, we STILL need to go!

*The Droidekas start charging!!!*

HOLYSHITTHEY'RECOMINGOBIWANLET'SGO!!!

Hahaha! Cowards! Running away from a few hundred Droidekas?

Time for a diversion!

*I take out my Digivice...*

LET'S GO, GREYMON!!!

NOVA BLAST!!!

*Greymon sprays flames at some of the Droidekas and manages to destroy them!*

WHAT THE?! MY DROIDEKAS!!!

Hey, Spraynozzle-Face! Look at your opponent when you're fighting!

*Knocks Souryuu away* Not now! *Turns to Greymon* Heh! Whatever you are, no matter how powerful your attacks are...

*Grievous turns on a switch and opens a vacuum portal!*

You cannot defy space!!

*Gets sucked in* AHHHH!!!

GREYMON!!!

AL, YOU IDIOT! YOU'LL GET SUCKED IN-TTEBAYO!!!

I WRITE THIS SERIES, SO IT'S OKAY IF I DIE! I CAN JUST PULL OFF A DEUS EX WHEN I WANNA!!!

*I try to get Greymon back, but we both end up getting sucked into the portal! Grievous closes it, and turns to Obi Wan.*

*Coughs* Well? I've had enough of your pathetic underlings. What do you say, General Kenobi?!

Grr...

Refuse... And my Droidekas will make sure your company makes no attempts to escape!

Don't do it, Obi Wan!

I... I have no choice! *Ignites lightsaber*

Hahahaha!!! You fool!

*Grievous charges at Obi Wan, who uses a Force Jump to evade! Obi Wan attacks, and cuts off one of Grievous's arms... Grievous still attacks, and is about to deliver the death blow when...*

I SAID I AM YOUR OPPONENT!!!

*Souryu jumps in and attacks Grievous himself!*

You!

*To Obi Wan* Obi Wan! You and the others get outta here right now! I'll catch up!

B-But...

DO IT!!!

Y-YESSIR!!!

*Obi Wan runs over to the others, and they all retreat, except for...*

Stop that right now!

NO!!! I'M GONNA DESTROY GRIEVOUS!!!

Haha! You wish!

*Grievous knocks away Souryuu's lightsaber!*

Gah!

You know what? You...

...

You have hatred... You have anger!

...

But you don't know how to use it! And because of that...

...

*Raises lightsabers* YOU WILL DIE!!!

NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!! *Jumps up and opens Grievous's chestplate, trying to destroy his organs*

GRRRAAAAARRGGHH!!!

You've lost!

IDIOT!!!

*Grievous stabs Souryuu with a lightsaber! YES, HE STABS HIM!!!*

AAAARRRRGGHHH!!! NO!!! NOT YET!!!

NO!!!

*Chihiro tries to attack Grievous herself, but is easily knocked away! Just when Grievous is about to kill her as well, Hobohodo and Kyouya arrive and... BRING IN THE THERMAL DETONATORS!!!*

Not even YOU, can escape the power of PWNAGE EXPLOSIONORZ!!!*

Yeah! What he said!

WHAT?!

*Kyouya and Hobohodo activate the Thermal Detonators and...*



*Trapped in the explosion* NO!!!

Okay! Let's get outta here!

Hey! Where's Chihiro-san?

...

...

DON'T TELL ME SHE'S STILL IN THERE?!

ACK!!! WHAT IF SHE EXPLODED AS WELL?!

Kyouya! Search the area for her if she's still alive! I'll go tell Obi Wan!

Yes, Master Chief!

*Hobohodo runs back to where Obi Wan and the others are, while Kyouya looks through the smoke.*

Chihiro-san! Where are you?

*Kyouya sees a kneeling figure in a corner!*

Chihiro-san!

It can't be... It's not true! He's... He's still alive, I know it!

IF GRIEVOUS IS STILL ALIVE, THEN WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!!! COME ON!!!

*Kyouya carries Chihiro on his back and heads for Obi Wan's group while the rest of the hallway explodes!*

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Hidden Cell:

And here is your unfortunate news. *Turns off the hologram*

No way! G-General Grievous was here?!

And he just killed Kaminogi Souryuu!

Interesting, isn't it? I may have lost Grievous to that blasted explosion, but I'm not through with my plans yet! Obi Wan and his group will NEVER make it here!

Grr... What IS your plan, anyway?!

If I told you, it wouldn't make sense.

But—!

SILENCE!!!

*Vader Force-Grips the two again.*

& *Clutching their necks* AAARRGGH!!!

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Hidden Compartment:

*Panting* We... We made it...

Kyouya! Did... Did the explosion work?

I'm not sure...

What about sis?!

Kyouya, did Chihiro gain consciousness yet?

I think so... Akane's checking on her right now.

Did everyone make it all right?

Where'd Al go?

He and Greymon got sucked into a portal.

Oh, okay...

...

...

...

YOU MEAN HE'S DEAD?!

Who knows? He said something about a Deus ex-ttebayo.

... He's dead, all right.

Kyouya-san? Why did Chihiro-san stay behind?

I dunno... She was kneeling over a limp figure when I found her...

A limp figure?

Was it General Grievous?

*Akane and Chihiro enter.*

Chihiro-sensei!

Sis!

Why did you stay behind?

... I couldn't save him...

What?

Chihiro-san stayed behind because... General Grievous... He...

He did what?

Erm... General Grievous sort of... stabbed—

General Grievous stabbed someone? Who?!

GAH! HAMI-CHAN!!! COVER YOUR EARS!!!

*Naruhodou, Mitsurugi, and Mayoi cover Harumi's ears while Akane continues.*

Who did Grievous stab?

... Kaminogi Souryuu. He's dead.

WHAT?!

I was only able to save... his lightsaber. *Gives the lightsaber to Obi Wan*

I... I see.

*Obi Wan gives the lightsaber back to Chihiro. That slow, Luke-ish music plays.*

What... Why?

This is YOUR lightsaber now... Keep it. I'm sure you can put it to good use... For Souryuu Kaminogi's sake.

... Thank you, Obi Wan...

*Obi Wan and his group continue making their way through the Star Destroyer, while someone views them... from above.*

...

They're foolish... They can't make it, no matter what they do.

And that's because...

Confusion will strike them... When they meet you.

Hehe. That's right.

... TO BE CONTINUED.

---

MEANWHILE.... AT MY HOUSE....

DUN DUN DUN!

You don't need to do that.

But the suspense is killing me!

Don't give me any ideas.

Is Kaminogi really dead? And is there a clown drone with bad jokes like Moe? And why the hell didn't Kaminogi change into Godot before the end?

He wouldn't have seen Grevious's lightsaber. N00b.

Wait. If you're here... Who's that on screen?

....

Cool! I gotta go over there and mas-

STFU. When someone is stabbed with a lightsaber, its.... its over.

HEY! It's over!

Ya, it's over!

* , ,& start dancing*

---

:Dear Abby
My cousin Maya and her friend Nick obiously like eachother a lot, but they are too shy to get together! How do I get them to love eachother. Yours Truly, Pearl Fey.

:Dear Pearl,
To motivate ANYONE to do anything, buy a whip!
Yours truly, Fran...I mean Abby.

---

You and Al, are getting hugged. *hugs*
Hey guys!
AAAHHHH!
Aren't you dead?
Why would I be dead?
Death penalty and all that...
Where do you think we are? Texas?
This ain't Texas.

---

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

*Crawling... Music playing...*





...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Inner Chamber A:

*Checks the area* Hmm... There are some Badger Droids in here as well.

MORE Badgers? Sheesh, since when did Darth Vader become such a wuss and hire these pathetic things?!

I guess he's been in that suit for too long.

Either way, since there are more droids in here... *Clenches fists* I guess we could "clean up" a bit, huh?

Oho! Kyouya looks ready to kick some ass!

That's because Kyouya IS ready to kick some ass!

You mean... You still have some detonators left?

Actually, we don't. But we were thinking of using our Plasma Pistols against 'em!

*Charges Plasma Pistol* YEAH!!!

*Kyouya is about to burst in on the Badgers, when Obi Wan stops him.*

Now, now... Who knows if there could be more traps in here? I say we stick to the plan I had intended to use a while ago... And that's to distract them with a Jedi Mind Trick!

Aww, man...

*Gets into position* Now... Here goes...

*Obi Wan closes his eyes and uses the Force to trick the Badgers into thinking that someone's calling them. The Badgers approach the area where the group is hiding...*

INTRUDER ALERT!!!

DROP YER WEAPON!!!

ALL RIGHT! ATTACK!!!

*The Badgers fire their blasters!*

*Firing his Plasma Pistol* HAHA!!! You Badgers and your puny blaster lasers! Nothing... *Shoots one Badger* Beats... *Shoots another one* PLASMAAAAAAA!!!

Oh yeah! Feel the power of Rock and Roll Plasma! *Shoots more Badgers*

*Blocking lasers with his lightsaber* Minuki! Go to my flank and get the Badgers attacking me from there!

Roger that!

*Minuki flanks Odoroki and destroys more Badgers!*

*Aims her Plasma Pistol at a nearby Energy Silo* Behold the power of science! COMBUSTION REACTION!!!

*Akane fires at the silo! It explodes, destroying ten Badgers!*

Good job, Akane!

Hehe. I'm used to seeing stuff like that!

*Naruhodou and Mitsurugi destroy a few more, and after a few seconds... no more Badgers are seen standing.*

*Deactivates lightsaber* That seems to be the last of them!

Where to now, Obi Wan?

From here, there are two main hallways. We should split up into groups and head opposite directions.

Are there any more droids?

Seems there'll only be Storm Troopers from here on in. Darth Vader only used the droids to guard the weakest areas of the Star Destroyer, and the more secure ones are being watched by Storm Troopers.

Storm Troopers... Great, just great.

Hmm... Storm Troopers, huh?

What're you thinking about, Future!Naruhodou-kun?

I've got an idea that'll help us get through without being noticed!

You mean...

That's right! If we can find some Storm Troopers, knock them out, and wear their armor...

Then we can pass through! Nice one, Hobo-meister! *Hi-fives Hobohodo*

But where can we find ten Storm Troopers?

And... How do we knock them out-ttebayo?

Ah, damn. I forgot about that!

*Everybody thinks of a plan...*

I got it! Mayoi! Hami-chan! YOU will find the Storm Troopers for us!

H-Huh?

What're you talking about, Naruhodou-san?

It's simple, really! Mayoi and Hami-chan can fuse to form the Kyuubi, right? And the Kyuubi can sense things easily with its chakra, right? Well... If Mayoi and Hami-chan turn into the Kyuubi, they... I mean, IT can find out where all the Storm Troopers out by seeking their energy path!

That's... That's actually a good idea!

Cool idea, Naruhodou-san!

Looks like you've finally become useful!

(Whaddya mean? Have I been useless throughout this entire contest?)

Actually, yes. Dattebayo!

HOW THE HELL CAN ALL OF YOU READ MY MIND?!

Hmm... So, Naruhodou, how can the Kyuubi track down the needed Storm Troopers without being seen?

It's the Kyuubi! It can just blend in!

Are you sure?

Positive!

Alright! Mayoi! Harumi! Merge to form the Kyuubi!

Okay... Here goes-ttebayo!!!

I'm ready, Mayoi-chan!

& FUUUUSIOOOOON!!!

*Mayoi and Harumi get enveloped in a cloud of smoke again and emerge—!*

OOOOHH YEEAAAHH!!! TIME TO KICK SOME—!!!

Not too loud!

Oh, sorry.

*The Kyuubi uses a special technique to become invisible, and heads through one of the hallways. Obi Wan and the others follow, trying to be as silent as possible so as not to attract too much attention. They find a door after a few seconds, and the Kyuubi opens it!*

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Storm Trooper Locker Room:

What the?!

*Ignites lightsaber* Sorry to barge in, gentlemen, but we need to borrow something from you!

That's the rescue team Lord Vader was talking about! Get them!

*The Storm Troopers fire their blasters.*

*Ignites lightsaber* Hey! At least we asked if we could borrow them first! Oh well... Eat lightsaber, fiend!!! *Attacks a Storm Trooper with her lightsaber*

Minuki! Behind you!

YEEEAAAAAARRGGHHH!!!

Oh no, you don't!

*Minuki stabs the Storm Trooper! The others continue firing!*

Honestly now, this is unnecessary!

*Obi Wan uses a STRONG Force Push on the Storm Troopers and knock them out!*

Wow! That was fast!

*Deactivates lightsaber* All it takes is a good, hard push to knock them out!

(Eww... That sounded dirty!)

*Mayoi and Harumi change back to their true forms.*

So... Do we wear these suits now-ttebayo?

*Counting the Storm Troopers* ... Seven, eight. There are only eight suits, Mr. Kenobi!

Only eight?

But there are eleven of us here!

I guess that means three of us will have to go on WITHOUT the disguise...

But who will those three be?

I say it should be Naruhodou!

SAY WHAT?! WHY? I WANNA WEAR A DISGUISE!!!

Done! Naruhodou volunteered to NOT wear a Storm Trooper outfit!

Mitsurugi...

That's one...

I won't wear the disguise either!

Huh? Why not, Odoroki-kun?

None of the Great Jedi I've ever seen go on rescue missions or simple infiltration and reconnaissance ones needed disguises! Qui Gon Jin didn't need one! Yoda didn't need one! Mace Windu didn't need one! Kit Fisto, Ki Adi Mundi didn't need one! And if they can be badass Jedi without having to wear a disguise... Then I will, too!

All right! Go, Odoroki-kun!

Hehe. Housuke, you fanboy!

I'll be just like those great Jedi who never used a Storm Trooper disguise when they were sneaking into a top-secret place... Or any other disguise for that matter!

(But I used a disguise once...)

Well, that makes two.

Hami-chan can just rest on my shoulders inside the suit! Dattebayo!

You're sure you're okay with that?

YEAH!!! That's fine with me-tteba—

I will not need the Storm Trooper disguise.

WHAT?!

Sis? W-Why?

I'll do just fine without the disguise. Besides, it'll probably just slow me down.

But what if you get spotted?

I'll stay with Naruhodou and Odoroki... That shouldn't attract too much attention.

Chihiro-san... Are you sure?

I am. And if I do get spotted, I'll be ready to fight... till death!

Sensei...

(Looks like Souryuu-san's death really shook her up...)

(Yeah, I know!)

(What the?! Naruhodou-san, are you reading my mind?!)

(But that's what YOU'RE doing!)

(Okay, now I'm confused!)

All right. Time to put on the disguises!

*Obi Wan and the others put their disguises on.*

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Hidden Cell:

I am sick and tired of having to just sit here and wait for someone to rescue us!

You're not the only one!

Seriously! Isn't there another way for us to escape or something?

You know we'll just end up getting choked again!

Auurrggh! That tears it! I'm busting outta here!

*Kyle rams against the cell door.*

*Sigh* You know that won't work! Vader'll just come in here and choke us!

Grr... Times like these really make me wish I had a Battering Ram!

There's gotta be another way out! Like... Like a sewage system or something!

You mean like the one under the grate you're standing on?

Yeah! Like the sewage system under the grate I'm standing on—

...

...

... We are so stupid.

I blame the donuts. *Opens grate* Well? Shall we?

You bet! Let's go!

*Kyle and Derek jump inside the sewer!*

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Control Room:

*Looking at the stars outside* You know what to do, right?

Of course, Master... My task is to challenge Obi Wan and defeat him, whilst my underlings go for the others.

Very good. Hopefully you'll do a better job than Grievous.

Heh! Grievous? Of course I'll do a better job than him. He was only able to get rid of two nuisances from the Gyakuten Gang, after all.

True... But something intrigues me... About the one that Grievous killed.

And that is...?

He had quite a strong grip... of the Dark Side. He had hatred... He had anger! He would've been perfect as a new henchman... Perhaps, even your apprentice?

My apprentice?

Hmph. Such a shame he got killed off so easily!

Yeah... A shame.

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Storm Trooper Locker Room:

*(<Insert character here>) = Inside Storm Trooper Suit.*

( ) All right, is everybody ready?

( ) Yeah, I'm ready!

( ) I'm ready to go-ttebayo!!!

() Good. Now, we're heading to Inner Chamber B, and Naruhodou, Odoroki, and Chihiro are heading to Inner Chamber C... Remember! Act as if you're real Storm Troopers!

( ) Heh, that'll be easy!

( ) Um... I can't see anything in this suit...

( ) Don't worry, Hami-chan! Just listen to our voices and follow in the direction we're heading!

( ) Okay!

() *Turns to Naruhodou, Odoroki, and Chihiro* Right. You three stick close to each other. If you see any Storm Troopers, attack!

But... What if we see you guys and attack you?

() Ah, I didn't think about that... All right! I'll assign an official signal so that you can identify us!

An official signal?

What is this official signal?

( ) It should be a whistle of a tune we can all relate with!

() Fine then. The official signal is a whistled version of the Star Wars main theme! Everybody remember that! Let's go!

*Obi Wan and all the others in Storm Trooper suits head towards the hallway on the right, leading to Inner Chamber B.*

Looks like we should go to Inner Chamber C now...

Yeah, we should!

*Odoroki, Naruhodou, and Chihiro exit the room and head straight for Inner Chamber C, when something sounds...*

BHHHOOOOOOOOOOUUUMMMM!!!

WHAT WAS THAT?!

It sounds like something's rumbling!

BHHHOOOOOOOOOOUUUMMMM!!!

There it is again!

I've got a bad feeling about this...

BHHHOOOOOOOOOOUUUMMMM!!!

The sound's getting louder!!!

Whatever's making that sound... It's coming this way! It could be a neavy droid or an AT-ST! Everybody, ignite your lightsabers!

*The thing making the sound gets closer!*

*Ignites lightsaber*

*Ignites lightsaber*

*Ignites—*

Why didn't you ignite your lightsaber?!

I DON'T HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!! I'VE ONLY GOT A BLASTER!

WHAT?!

WHAT IF IT IS AN AT-ST?! I CAN'T BEAT IT WITH JUST A BLASTER!

*The thing making the sound gets closer!*

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, NARUHODOU-SAN!!!

IT'S COMING!!!

*Panicking* GAH! WHA-WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

*Panicking* IGNITE YOUR BLASTER OR SOMETHING!!!

O-OKAY!!!

*Naruhodou gets a lighter and tries to ignite his blaster!*

SHIT, IT BROKE!!!

NEVER MIND IT! *Holds her lightsaber close* It's... here!!!

*The thing they heard earlier finally shows!!!*

GAAH!!! IT'S... IT'S—!

Hey guys, what's up?

...

Why do you look so panicky?

...

...

& KYLE HYDE AND DEREK STILES?!

Hey man, why do you look kinda pissed at seeing us?

We thought it was an AT-ST coming at us!

But it was you guys all along!

Hey! We went through a hell of a lot of trouble just to escape!

Yeah! We were almost choked to death by Darth Vader!

... At least you two've escaped.

But were all the loud thumpin noises really necessary?

...

...

... We never made any thumping noises.

WHAT?! THEN WHO DID—?!

BHHHOOOOOOOOOOUUUMMMM!!!

...

HOLY SHIT, IT IS AN AT-ST!!!

*Fires lasers at them*

RUN!!!

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Inner Chamber B:

() *Standing in front of two doors: one red, one blue* This was unexpected!

( ) There are two doors... Which one leads to the place where they're keeping the prisoners?

() *Rubs beard* This is a bit of a predicament...

( ) Can't you use you Jedi powes to tell which door's the right one, Obi Wan?

() I haven't had a chance to practice that yet.

( ) There's no other way around this. Looks like we'll have to split up into further groups!

() If that's the case, then... Mayoi, Akane, Mitsurugi, and Hobohodo will take the blue door, and Kyouya, Minuki, Harumi, and myself will take the red one.

*The teams split up and enter the doors.*

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Inner Chamber B-2:

( ) Huh. Looks like this leads to the Engine Room.

( ) It's too dark! We need some light in here!

( ) Don't even think about using your lightsaber!

( ) Yeah! You'll blow our cover!

( ) Aww, come on! Nobody's in here, anyway!

*Mitsuguri ignites his lightsaber.*

( ) There! Much better!

( ) Uh... Mitsurugi-kun?

( ) What is it?

( ) LOOK AT THE PERSON STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU!!!

*To Mitsurugi* Hehehe... Hello, "Storm Trooper"!

( ) OMFG!!! DARTH MAUL!!!

*Ignites lightsaber* How unfortunate of you to stray in here... and stupidly ignite your lightsaber! Well? If you want to live... then take off that helmet and fight me, you fool!

( ) Mitsurugi-kun! It could be a trap!

*Removes disguise* I accept your challenge!

MITSURUGI, YOU IDIOT!!!

You guys go on ahead! I'll just take care of this little welch first!

*Gets into position* You... wish. *Charges at Mitsurugi* YEEAAAAAARRGGHH!!!

...

Onboard Star Destroyer One, Inner Chamber B-1:

() Looks like this hallway leads to one of the ship's fuel tanks.

( ) Mr. Obi Wan, it's too dark! I can't see!

( ) Don't worry, Hami-chan! Obi Wan can just use the lightsaber!

( ) Really?

() Sorry Harumi, but we can't afford to slip up! I can't ignite my lightsaber right now...

( ) Aww, come on, Obi Wan! Hami-chan can't see!

() Well... I can't sense anyone here anyway...

*Obi Wan ignites his lightsaber.*

( ) There you go, Hami-chan! Now we've got some—

Lighting?

DARTH VADER!!!

Aww, don't forget about me, now!

WHAT THE?! ANAKIN AND DARTH VADER... AS SEPARATE PEOPLE?!

*Ignites lightsaber* Surprise, surprise. This is confusing, isn't it?

WHA... WHAT'S GOING ON?!

It's really none of your business, Obi Wan. Anakin! I leave it to you to finish him off!

Yes, Master.

*Darth Vader exits.*

This... This is impossible!

Impossible? No. THIS... IS... STAR WARS!!!

*Anakin attacks Obi Wan!*

...

Location: ???

HURRY UP AND INCINERATE THAT TRASH!

LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A LARGE PIECE HERE!

WHAT? LET ME SEE...

*The Super Badger Droid checks the "large piece of trash".*

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S JUST A DEAD ANIMAL. SEND IT TO THE LOWER TRASH COMPACTION UNITS!

YESSIR!

... TO BE CONTINUED.

---

This is a joke from the React with Smilies! topic.
Just a twisted parody of... You guessed it!
And now, our feature presentation!

RevFirst presents (and has no idea of doing so):



: This must be some sort of arranged marriage...

: (RevFirst) If anyone does not believe that these two should be wedded, speak now, or forever hold your peace.

: I OBJECT OR DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME!?

: (RevFirst) Well, 50 bucks could end this wedding...

:

: (RevFirst)

: Thanks! I've always wanted to do that!

: (RevFirst) No problem! Now then. Pearl Fey, do you take Phoenix Wright to be your lawfully wedded husband?

: I do.

: (RevFirst) And do you, Phoenix Wright, watch my Flash, err...take Pearl Fey to be your lawfully wedded wife?

: I do.

: (RevFirst) Then by the power invested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. 'til death do you part. You may now watch my Flash! Err... you may now kiss the bride. Bride, you may now kiss the groom.

: Well, this is it. I love you Pearl!

: I love you too, Nick!

*insert sick art*

: I love happy endings!

: I hate you, RevFirst...

Last edited by RevFirst on Sun May 13, 2007 5:26 am, edited 6 times in total.

Lol! Revfirst that is brilliant! Hooray for the twisted minds in the smilies forum! ^^

---

Chinese Infantry presents (And didn't really think twice before posting):



Before this funny begins, I wish for a redress of grievances...

Hmm?

It's the title...

Yeah, I was going to call your beef but I realized my mistake and crossed it out to replace it with Richard.

About that, why don't you just change the title so it reads my name correctly without the crossed out Beef?

Are you kidding me. It costs big money to do stuff like that!

Ohh really, how much for a simple title change?

Maybe I would change it if people BOUGHT MY STUFF, MAYBE! Like my latest unlicensed video: "Musouka presents: the right way to debate pairings", avaliable for...

I'll worry about buying your shitty video later, just start the damn show.

(Tonight. You...)

(Author's note: I'm changing to Cyan. Blue is too damn hard to read.)

*Location: The Helicopter*

Ohh yeah. Another awesome picture by yours truly!

What are you talkin' about, Beef? All you did was take a picture of the same thing you've been taking a picture of for the past hour: THE FUCKING CITY!

Yeah, and they are all awesome pictures. When I take the picture, it is made of pure awesome, kind of like *insert shameless plug for other person here*.

Whatever, man. (Man, sometimes I wish cameras weren't digital and people couldn't take photos of any old shit...) So where we heading next?

Well, I've been making a list of possible people to interview...

Why bother with the list. Why not just go straight to Phoenix and Maya?

One: we don't know where they are. Two: I'm trying to get the good ending.

Good ending?

Do you know anything about being a Photojournalist? Sure, if I just go straight to Phoenix and Maya without getting the other scoops, all I get is a paycheck and a credits screen. But if I get more scoops, not only does my paycheck get bigger, but I get a better ending.

Whatever, let's see that list.

Right here.

Choose your own overused CI joke:
1. LOL, Mia and Lana are lesbians.
2. LOL, Godot is a pimp.
3. LOL, Gant is a pedophile
4. LOL, Reference to another CR member
5. LOL, CI is a sellout

WHAT? That's not a list of people to interview.

Yes it is. It is the direction the funny will go if we decide to do an interview with that person. Instead of choosing it myself, I'm letting the reader do it for me. Not only does it make things easier for me, but we make the reader feel important at the same time.

Why don't we just interview Franziska and Adrian? They were both at the wedding.

Dammit, why did you ruin the list I just made?

Because it won't work anyways. How is the reader going to interact with the funny while it is being written?

Hmm, good point.

So where to? Adrian or Franziska's place?

Adrian's of course. Because I know where this will go if I go to Franziska's house.

But we are only 10 minutes away from...

ADRIAN'S PLACE, DAMMIT!

Fine, fine!

*Location: Outside Adrian's House*

Alright, park the helicopter over there.

WHAT? IN THE ROAD?

Well the last time we parked in the backyard, the owner got pissed.

But if we park in the road, we'll end up pissing off a bunch of cars and the helicopter might get towed.

They can't tow a helicopter. It's too big!

Whatever, but if I come back and the helicopter is gone, you're buying a new one.

Says who, Texas man?

Says the live badger I'm going to shove up your ass if you do not pay for it.

Hmmpphhh, they already did that with Morgan Fey, now just land the damn helicopter.

(If only this was texas....)

*Location: The ground*

EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT! CAN'TFAKETHEFUNK REVEALED TO BE MALE!

Aww look, how quaint, a little boy selling newspapers.

Hey, aren't you that Mr. Wellington guy?

I'm the one and only! Richard Wellington: Freelance Photojournalist.

Mommy says you're a no-talent hack who makes up stories and photoshops images.

Did mommy ever mention to you that she sleeps around? Because I have some photos of it with me right here...

...WAAAAAHHHH *runs off*

Good job, you just made a child cry. I hope you're proud of yourself.

You goddamn right I am. No one disses me and gets away with it.

Well, are you going to do the interview or are you going to scar children for life?

I'll do the interview now and let CI handle the other thing...

*Location: Inside the house*

Shouldn't you have at least knocked?

I'm a video game character. I can go inside peoples house without knocking if I want to. *Takes $30 lying on counter*

And now you are taking people's money...

Well, it shouldn't be lying around in the first place. If it's there, it's up for grabs...

...Right. So where do you suppose they are at? They didn't immediately show up when we broke in through the front door.

Even if they are not here, we can just search for stuff and make up a story from what we find.

Even if you were a detective, the story you make up might not match what is actually true.

When has that ever stopped me in the past?

...Good point, I'll look over here.

Ok.

Meow!

Well aren't you a cute little kitty. What's your name *looks over at food bowel* Miles is it?

Hmm, a list *looks at it* "Friska's to do list: Whip Scruffy Detective, Whip Mr. Phoenix Wright, Whip the Judge, Whip Little Brother, Whip Scruffy Detective's replacement, Whip Larry, have bubblebath, get Birthday present for Adrian (money is on the counter), have sex with Adrian, Kill Gunther". Say, who the fuck is Gunther?

You know, Gunther Hertz, the Defense Attorney? I wrote an article last fall on how he was a pot-smoking hippie with an unhealthy obsession with the Renaissance Faire.

Wait, is that true?

I dunno, I took one look at the photo, photoshopped a joint in and made up the rest.

(Reeeeal classy journalism, Beef...)

Hmm, nothing too incriminating down here. Let's check the bedroom.

Wait, what makes you think they'd be up there.

Well, if the two were having sex, that's where they'd be. Even if they aren't, I can grab some souvenirs while up there.

....Ok....

*Location: Adrian's bedroom*

Nothing out of the ordinary up here.

Then check the drawers and closets, dipshit?

What? That's private stuff, Beef.

So? That's what journalists do. Invade privacy.

I'm just saying I'm morally opposed to this...

Look, I'm the handsome Freelance Photojournalist, you are just a lowly Charter Helicopter Pilot. Now stop your whining and start violating the Fourth Amendment!

...Fine....

Now let's see what we have here. *Looks under bed.* That's odd, an strangly organized set of dildoes, vibrators and other assorted sex toys.

What's so weird about that.

Normally, they don't all come in an ornate designer suitcase with compartments for each all neatly labelled with their appropriate names. *Notice's label that says "Chinese Infantry's Pleasure Kit for Women"* Ahh, now it makes since *looks up*

What? I needed the money!

You always need money! But seriously, why can't you sell non-adult products like a normal person?

Do I look like a normal person to you?

Good point. (I don't even want to know what he put in the men's kit...)

*Looking through the closet* Are you sure this is Adrian's place and not Franziska's?

I dunno, you're the one that flew here.

Well, I'm just asking because I found a literal treasure trove of bondage equipment.

So Adrian has a BDSM fetish? What are you trying to say?

It could explain why she is attracted to Franziska.

Hmmm. True, true *notices diary* maybe this could shed some more light.

Alright, stop right there. If there is anything that is more sacred and secretive to a girl, it's her diary. If she found out you were reading that, you'd probably be leaving without your dick.

It's a risk I'm willing to take. What's a freelancer like me without a little danger?

Ok, Mr. Freelancer, while you barge in on people's lives, I'm going to go take a piss *leaves*

You do that. *Reads through diary* Today was quite eventful. My mentor, Celeste Inpax, said she had a surprise for me and I should go over to her place to see it. When I came over, she stripped me naked and tied me up. The strange part was I felt so aroused. I've always thought that Celeste was gorgeous, but when she tied me up and had her way with me, all I could think about was her attractive body, from her smooth skin to her soft, wet, dripping...

I'm back.

Dammit, I was about to read the best part too!

You'll never guess what I found in the bathroom.

Adrian and Franziska getting it on in the shower?

No. A camera! A freaking videocamera aimed at the toilet.

Great! I can only think of one person who would put one there...

Hey, don't look at me! I may have a sick mind, but I don't get my jollies from that sort of thing!

Well, if you didn't put it there, then who did?

*Location: Somewhere in Kazakhstan*

Fuck! Damn Texas Man take camera I put in lady toilet of blonde lesbian. Now I can't watch her make toilet anymore or make a sexytime with blue-haired transvestite!

*Location: back in Adrian's bedroom*

...Gross.....

Well, I don't think we are going to find them, so let's just go.

What about the basement.

(I really though we would be able to leave this time.)

*Location: The basement*

Is it just me, or does this place look like a dungeon?

Well, since she is a BDSM freak, so I kind of expected this.

*Insert loud moaning here*

What was that?

Ohh, sorry! That was me having alone time too loud again. Let me try again.

*Insert loud moaning and whipping noises here*

Let me guess: Adrian naked and chained up with Franziska whipping here.

*Goes over to scene. Franziska is naked and chained up, while Adrian is carrying a whip and wearing bondage leather*

Say it, Franny!

More, Adrian! MORE!

What was that?

More, MISTRESS ADRIAN!

Good girl *whips Franziska again*

At least I was half right.

(Wow...that's hot!)

Mmmm *Insert moans of lust here* OOOOOOHHHWHATTHEFUCKARETEXASGUYANDBEEFWELLINGTONDOINGHERE!

What was that, sl...WHOTHEFUCKAREYOUGUYS?

Uhhh, I'm Richard. I'm a journalist.

Great! *brandishes whip* listen, hotshot, you came to the wrong place for a story...

I could care less about your bondage fetish, I'm just here because you two were at Phoenix and Maya's wedding and maybe you could shed light on where their honeymoon could be.

I don't know shit, now get out of here before I chain both of you up and turn you into my submissive sluts.

I thought you were a lesbian?

Ohh, but when you're a dominatrix, it pays to be bi!

Whatever, fuck this, I've got everything I need, I'm out of here *starts walking out* but isn't Franziska normally the dommie and you the submissive?

Errr, we switched roles for today.

Hey! Did I say you could speak!

No!

Then quiet *whips Franny*

*Location: Lobby*

Well, that was a complete waste of time.

It sure was. But at least I have an interesting article to write.



Several rumors have circulated around stating that Adrian Andrews perferred women to men. A discovery yesterday proved that not only was she a lesbian, but a BDSM nut as well. Several sex toys as well as a shitload of bondage gear were found in a completely authorized search by Jake Marshall and I the Department of Homeland Security as well as information regard a past encounter with the late Celeste Inpax. Neither Adrian, nor her current lesbian lover, Franziska von Karma, could be reached for comment, since both of them are frigid bitches
Can'tFaketheFunk, on the other hand, was quoted in a interview as saying "I fuckin' told ya so!"

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Last edited by Chinese Infantry on Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hey Kyouya, you look down.

I am down. I just got served court papers. I'm getting sued!

Sued? For what?

Apparently, for character impersonation and defamation. Which is completely false! I've never done anything like that in my life!

Who's filing the suit?

I dunno, some game developer, SNK or something... here, check these pictures, apparently, I've been impersonating these characters. It's ridiculous! I don't even know who the hell this Ash Crimson guy is!!

Hmm... well, I have to admit, there are a few similarities...

No there isn't! I'm a laywer slash rock star, he's some weirdo in a red romper suit who fights people.

Still, your hairstyles are pretty similar...

Oh come on! Hundreds of people have light blond curls pulled into one long bang down the side. It's a very common haircut.

No it isn't...

And this other guy they claim I'm ripping off. Why would I ever want to impersonate someone named 'K-Dash'? Who names themselves that?!!

Holy... Kyouya, you looked exactly like this guy when you took that case against Phoenix!

No I didn't!

So... when you were seventeen, you didn't go to court wearing a leather motorbike jacket, black leather pants, short messy, almost white hair, various rings and jewelery, and a tanned complexion?

............ Hey, I set that fashion trend!! That guy is stealing from me!!

What do you really need? A lawyer, or a fashion consultant?

HELP!!!!
Faster than a speeding bullet, it's COFFEE MAN!
You needed help, for I am COFFEE MAN!
I can't stop crying! The stupid people only gave me a crying sprite!
Well, there's only one thing to do. Drink this coffee!
Why?
BECAUSE!
*drinks coffee*
*poof*
ACK! NOW I'M PAYNE!
Well, you stoped crying, my work is done as COFFEE MAN!
WAIT! I'M ENTERALLY SWEATING!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

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You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

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