Rook Weslayen: Dual Attorney
Gender: Male
Location: Idaho
Rank: Medium-in-training
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2008 4:48 am
Posts: 340
Allow me to split my edited post....
In case you haven't guessed yet, writing is a passion of mine.

But that doesn't make me an expert, keep that in mind. If someone says i'm wrong about something, listen to what they have to say as well. In the end, you have to form your own opinions, right?
Read chapter 2 now. It's interesting. If you stop to think about it, we're bombarded by these commercials every day... via radio, television, even billboards. Though I'm not a fan of the sexual/sexual orientated ads myself. So it does remind me of my distaste for most commercials.
I like it, I guess.
Just remember that the ads aren't everything, I suppose.
I like this, i suppose, because Phoenix Wright is kinda off in his own world that we barely know about, yet assume is much like our own. He doesn't have to deal with much more than the "Steel Samurai" shows, etc.
I like your boldness in trying to combine both this world and the PW world.
I'll have to keep reading to see what direction your stories take.
Personal advice? I find once I get started, the story begins to have a mind of its own. I don't know if that works for you, but it does for me. But here's a few things to consider.
Revision: though it may seem daunting, you're writing this chapter by chapter. i would always search for spelling errors as well as some more grammatical errors. Also, I would re-read your own thing a few times, and then wonder if there's a better way to say this sentence, or a better word for this-and-that.. etc.
Also, second, third, and even fourth opinions can offer new insight into this. Criticism tends to help more than simple praise, at times, even, so even if someone is saying "you suck", take that as a way to go "I wonder how I can make this better... not to impress this guy, but to better the story overall." they may point taht something that needs changing, after all.
But some of this is what i've learned, what I've heard. I'm sure there are better advice-givers out there than I.
So keep it up! Write what you want, and don't be pressured into writing something you don't want.
In the end, you are the one writing the story. And if you're writing for your own personal enjoyment, so much the better!
That's what i do it for, anyway.

Edit: And if you plot is to have no plot and make people laugh, well, then go for it. :D
You are in control, after all. And yes, I am enjoying the funny commercials, too. It reminds me how ridiculous we can be as a society.