Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Mon Oct 27, 2008 10:44 pm

KendiKong

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http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml

This may or may not have already been posted.

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 4:00 pm

Pierre

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Heh these are good, "Your honour I'd like to strike the next question" is something I can see Nick doing.

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You thought you could be safe in your courts, with your laws and attorneys to protect you. In this world only I am law, my word is fact, my power is absolute.

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 4:38 pm

Robo-Aly

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Spoiler: lol

Lol I liked that one.

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 4:50 pm

Eduds

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Spoiler:

I wonder what was the witness answer

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 6:51 pm

Bad Player

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Eduds wrote:

Spoiler:

I wonder what was the witness answer

She could have 3 intersex children....

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Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 7:06 pm

General Luigi

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Quote:

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

I recall hearing that once on one of the crime shows my mother likes to watch.

I'll always love you, Max.

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 8:11 pm

SNK

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Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."

If I was that witness, I'd say "Yes" or "Take a f**king guess!"

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 8:26 pm

Prosecutor Scorpion

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SNK wrote:

Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."

If I was that witness, I'd say "Yes" or "Take a f**king guess!"

Why not saying, "Yes, I'm currently being chanelled by a spirit medium from a village in the countryside called Kurain."

Also, this one made me lol.

Spoiler:

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 8:27 pm

Pierre

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Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

OOOPS :pealshock:

What jackass would defend his own case and say that?

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You thought you could be safe in your courts, with your laws and attorneys to protect you. In this world only I am law, my word is fact, my power is absolute.

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 9:04 pm

Wrestlemania

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Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

I'm sorry, I would've said something different.

"Of every 100 autopsies, there tends to be one person who asks what I'm doing to them."

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Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 9:15 pm

Pierre

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Wrestlemania wrote:

Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

I'm sorry, I would've said something different.

"Of every 100 autopsies, there tends to be one person who asks what I'm doing to them."

Thats totally gonna cause some mental trauma there :yogi:

Made by Chesu+Zombee

You thought you could be safe in your courts, with your laws and attorneys to protect you. In this world only I am law, my word is fact, my power is absolute.

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sat Nov 15, 2008 9:18 pm

Wrestlemania

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Herr Blondie wrote:

Wrestlemania wrote:

Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

I'm sorry, I would've said something different.

"Of every 100 autopsies, there tends to be one person who asks what I'm doing to them."

Thats totally gonna cause some mental trauma there :yogi:

I was stuck on saying that, or saying "There's always the one person who asks "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT KNIFE!?", but I chose to make the more suggestive one. :butzthumbs:

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Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sun Nov 16, 2008 5:03 am

Riu

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Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times."
.........

Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times. I was channeled by a spirit medium the last few times."
Fix'd
So that's how acctually how :mia:

died.

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sun Nov 16, 2008 8:07 am

Judgemaster64

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Spoiler:

This one is the best. It basically shows who need lawyers :P

Re: Funniest things people have said in a courtroom

Sun Nov 16, 2008 10:13 am

Pierre

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Riu wrote:

Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times."
.........

Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times. I was channeled by a spirit medium the last few times."

Who'd Channel such a depressed spirit after hearing about her suicide rate.

Judgemaster64 wrote:

Spoiler:

This one is the best. It basically shows who need lawyers :P

If that shows who need lawyers then clearly quite a low of us need them :sadshoe:

Made by Chesu+Zombee

You thought you could be safe in your courts, with your laws and attorneys to protect you. In this world only I am law, my word is fact, my power is absolute.