Adrian Andrews opened her mouth and was met with a forkful of cat.
That was it. That was the final straw.
She lowered her hand again and, trembling, nudged the creature off it. The feline seemed more excited than enraged over its experience and padded around her plate a few times, licking the remains of whatever cardboard had been impersonating real food, before it slunk away to torment someone else. Adrian didn't see who. She was too busy dropping her head into her hands with a groan that blended imperceptibly into the sound of a motorbike revving up outside.
Obnoxious security measures, failed interviews and now a cat in her lunch. The last time she checked, Global Studios had been exactly what it said on the tin, a complex of television studios. At no point had she seen a mention that it was also an animal shelter. She was sure she would have noticed. She had researched the company in more detail than she ever imagined needing, so desperate was she to win the job she would never get to have.
Everything about the day had gone wrong. She'd even burned her toast. Burnt toast! What better message could there have been that she should have stayed in bed? Only fools burned their toast.
There was clearly no hope for her. Wherever she went she would be followed by failure, and felines, and burnt toast. People would look at her and see Adrian Andrews, the woman haunted by the phantom of a blackened piece of bread, the woman who could never get anything right.
"Shoe!"
And now people were shouting about shoes at her.
Maybe the world had always been like this and today was the first time she'd woken up to it. Maybe burnt toast caused hallucinations. Maybe she was still asleep. She hoped so. That meant that, any moment now, she would wake up and start the day again properly. She'd have cereal for breakfast and buy a dog or something, and when she reached the interview she would-
"Excuse me."
She raised her head. All she saw was a dark blur against the beige of the staff area walls. It could have been a piece of scenery or a particularly dirty mark on the wall. If it was, Adrian decided, she was going home. Her sanity could only take so much stress. She picked up her glasses from the table and almost managed to poke herself in the eye with them.
The person, scenery or dirty patch of wall waited patiently to waver into focus. Much to Adrian's relief, she was being addressed, not by a smear on the wall, but by a perfectly ordinary woman, cleanly and neatly dressed. In fact, she was so cleanly and so neatly dressed that she could have been a lawyer in a prestigious firm with a name like Wilkins, Wilkins and Upton Solicitors. She didn't even seem to see the memories of burnt toast and cats and that terrible interview orbiting Adrian's head. That was how professional she was.
"I'm sorry to disturb you," she said, "but I think you may have been about to eat my cat."
"Your, um, what?" said Adrian. This, on reflection, was the most idiotic thing she could have said. She knew what a cat was. She knew that she had indeed been on the verge of eating it. What she should have asked was who this woman was and why she had a cat at a television studio.
Since Adrian was resigned to her day struggling against all her attempts to correct it, she didn't bother adding these more important questions to her initial stammer. They would only have contorted themselves into further evidence of her utter lack of anything which could pass for a brain even in a good light.
The woman clearly intended to take care of the problem. Her lips, modestly sculpted by crimson lipstick, were lifted into a small but heartfelt smile. She dragged one of the plastic chairs back across the cement and lowered herself into it, smoothing the folds out of her skirt, and took a sip from a bottle of mineral water most definitely not from the cheap vending machine in the corner.
"Never mind, I expect he'll find his own way home. He found his own way here. That cat gets everywhere."
Adrian wasn't sure what to say to this. She decided to play it safe.
"Oh."
The woman drank a little more water.
"Mm."
Adrian added, recklessly,
"Does he really?"
"He must have gotten into my car when I went back to fetch my bag. You can always rely on him to turn up exactly where you don't want him to. Imagine if he'd gotten into the interview!"
Smile. Cue laughter. Adrian was unable to co operate with the demands of the situation. She had just realised that this must be the person who had, inadvertently, done to her dreams what an industrial size flamethrower will do to a snowflake.
No wonder they hadn't been at all interested. Adrian must have been right behind this woman in the job interviews. When Adrian stepped through the door, clouded by the wake of this woman's cool efficiency and sophistication, she must have looked like a refugee from the dark ages. When she sat down to discover that her tongue had better things to do than, say, allow her to speak, it must have pushed them over the edge. Why would they want a stuttering, empty-headed twit like her when they could have... whoever this was?
"Is something bothering you?" asked whoever. Her forehead creased in concern, which must have taken some effort, given how tightly her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Adrian sighed and readjusted her glasses, an old standby when she was at a loss for words. All she eventually managed was,
"No. No, not at all, it's just been a long day and, er, and I wanted to get home."
"Oh! I'm sorry, I won't hold you up."
"I didn't mean it like that! I'm sorry, I really am. I don't know, it's just, I'm sorry..."
"No, look, I'm sorry. Even if you needed to be sorry, you only have to say it once and I'll get the message."
Another smile. Another cue for laughter. This time Adrian managed it, barely. She wished she hadn't left her notebook at home. She needed something to do with her hands and she could only prod her glasses so many times before it stopped looking necessary and started revealing its true colours as a nervous tic.
"My cat interrupted your lunch and then, rather than let you finish it in peace, I sat down without any invitation and started rambling at you. I'm the one who needs to offer my apologies. Are they accepted?"
"Um, yes."
"Good. Now, let's introduce ourselves. I am Celeste Inpax. Before you ask, yes, it does mean 'in peace', and yes, it does sound a bit morbid."
Adrian, who didn't know Latin and hadn't been about to ask, laughed anyway. Celeste smiled encouragingly at her, which prompted a tentative response.
"I'm Adrian Andrews."
"Pleased to meet you. Now, I hate to waste time, so let's get straight to business. You wouldn't happen to be one of the other people from the interviews for a manager today, would you?"
Another mistake. Clearly, this woman had seen the horrors haunting Adrian, but had been too polite to mention it. Another point in her favour and another point which made Adrian feel as if the one interview she could sail through was for the town idiot. She toyed with the plastic fork which had, not that long ago, held a cat. That would be so much easier to deal with than this conversation.
"Yes," she said. "So... you're the one who got the job? Congratulations."
"It's not that impressive."
The fork clattered onto the table. Adrian's eyes fixed for a moment on a broken grate, set into the opposite wall. She couldn't formulate any sort of coherent reply. Not that impressive? She had worked for Global Studios ever since the infamous murder case had propelled its fame through the roof, through the atmosphere and into the orbit of alien planets. It rarely offered the opportunity for a new manager to temper its reputation. How could securing that coveted vocation not be impressive?
Celeste misunderstood the silence. She pressed slender fingers to her lips for a moment.
"Oh, dear. It seems I have to apologise again. I didn't mean that you weren't good enough even for an unimpressive job or anything like that."
"No, no, really, it's fine," assured Adrian. She continued to stare at the grate. It was rusty. Evidently it had been broken for some time. Fascinating. So much more worthy of her attention than a conversation. At least it didn't provoke some nameless combination of guilt and humiliation in her.
"I just meant that it's not all it was made out to be. It sounds brilliant, but really it's just managing the actor for this pilot show. You know, the newest spin off from the Steel Samurai? It probably won't go anywhere."
Entranced as she was by the rusty grate, Adrian still recognised someone laying the platitudes on a bit thick when she heard them. For the first time that day she got something exactly right when she delivered her best skeptical look over the frames of her glasses.
It saved her saying anything. Celeste got the picture and turned it into another opportunity to showcase her laughter. Even that was smart, efficient. It didn't last too long and was neither hearty nor silvery. It avoided hackneyed description entirely and stuck to being merely short and pleasant.
"All right. I admit that I'm going to do everything in my power to make it a success. You really wouldn't like the actor, though. You seem like an intelligent person to me. He's nice, but I'd only describe him as intelligent if every other adjective was removed from the dictionary. Did you hear that motorbike leaving just now? That was him."
Adrian shrugged.
"I don't see why owning a motorbike makes him stupid."
"It doesn't. What does make him stupid is that he didn't seem capable of thinking about anything else."
"You've obviously got a lot of faith in your first client."
Surprise registered for a moment in Celeste's eyes. It quickly flashed into delight as she sat back in her chair, surveying Adrian.
"You got a bit of a sarcastic tongue hidden away there, haven't you?" she said. The smile was still intact, if not firmer than ever. "I like it."
"Um, thanks."
The expensive bottle of water was slipped back into an equally expensive handbag. Without any more to say, Adrian was left to pick up the fork again and twiddle it aimlessly. The electric light which illuminated the door to a dressing room behind her was flickering, an effect which was beginning to give her a headache. Now, however, it didn't bother her as much as it might have done ten minutes earlier.
It cast a grubby yellow light over the area which didn't do Celeste's current thoughtful demeanour the dramatic justice it deserved. She concluded her musing fairly swiftly.
"It was a fair comment, too. I suppose I am being a bit harsh on him. After all, it was only a brief introduction, though he did seem to be labouring under the impression that my name was 'Manager Dude'."
"Maybe it's an affectionate nickname."
"I tell you what, I'm meeting him properly tomorrow. I'll ask him what he thinks of cats. If he's a cat person who doesn't mind Shoe appearing out of nowhere, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. How about that?"
The chair squeaked as she pushed it back and stood up, masking out Adrian's vague mumble of an answer. The headache had suddenly increased from a faint annoyance to a physical presence which gripped her conscious more tightly and insidiously than an angry scorpion.
The conversation had been a welcome distraction, but now all she had in the future was a lukewarm bath, a mug of weak tea and an endless lifetime working as a general odd job person on the Global Studios lot. She was doomed to live her own lonely life watching Celeste Inpax charging herself and her prospective star forwards into a glamorous celebrity lifestyle, without even the decency to be loathsome and shallow in the process.
A square of card, a business card with an address and telephone number, flicked itself into Adrian's view. She took it automatically, something to keep her hands occupied in their nervous fidgeting, and simultaneously raised her eyes. A smile which was already familiar met her.
"As for you, I'm going to be your personal mentor," announced Celeste. There was no room for questions or argument. She continued, before Adrian could find the time to look startled, "You remind me of me."
"What? I'm not at all like you."
"Why not?"
"Well, er, I'm just not. I've hardly said a word, for one thing, and I'm disorganised and clumsy and-"
"How do you know I'm not disorganised and clumsy? You're talking to the woman who managed to accidentally bring her cat to work. I've just gotten used to hiding what I'm really like, and that's what I'll teach you to do."
"But-"
"Adrian. Listen. You don't have to meet me again if you don't want to. I, on the other hand, would like to. As I said, I hate to waste time. I'd like to have a friend like you and I want to see you do well, since I've just taken a job away from you. I'll see you again soon, I hope. That's all I have to add to this conversation."
Her high heels had tapped out of sight before Adrian rediscovered her tongue. She shouted anyway,
"I'll call you."
There wasn't much left to do. She could hang around here, in the staff area of Global Studios, or head home to paracetamol and bed. There wasn't a decision to be made.
On the way to her car she saw Celeste pulling out. The woman gave a cheery waggle of her fingers on the steering wheel. Adrian waved hesitantly back, noticing the cat on the back seat dragging out the contents of the expensive handbag, including the handbag's lining.
A few seconds later Adrian was alone in the car park.