Re: Super Makoto (Still alive and doing science in '09)
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Re: Super Makoto (Still alive and doing science in '09)
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WHO HASN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE PCHAT
...
Anybody?
Edit: ...Apparently not.
...Whoops, how'd that get there?
Click on the left 'brow and you get the Super Makoto Project; click on the right 'brow and you get Project Kallisti :D
I made my avatar and sig.
You should totes visit my cosplay thread :Db
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Re: Super Makoto (Still alive and doing science in '09)
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Re: Super Makoto (Still alive and doing science in '09)
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Click on the left 'brow and you get the Super Makoto Project; click on the right 'brow and you get Project Kallisti :D
I made my avatar and sig.
You should totes visit my cosplay thread :Db
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Re: Super Makoto (Still alive and doing science in '09)
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A little discussion about the "Hawthorne Diamond" led to this bit of plot and character connection:
The Hawthorne Diamond used to be a magic jewel in the possession of the Fey family. It contained the essence of a mischievous demon sealed away by Ami Fey in ancient times. In modern times, Mister Hawthorne stole the diamond from Kurain, and sold it to Bruto Cadaverini, who intended on releasing the demon from its prison and using its power for his own means. Bruto succeeded in releasing the demon, Troia, from her prison, but was unsuccessful in bending her to his will.
Interpol took notice of Hawthorne's involvement with the criminal family, and began tracking his underworld dealings. Redd White, in particular, found this to be useful blackmail information when it came to Hawthorne's stepdaughter, Valerie, an agent for Interpol...
= = = = = = = = = =
Her Love Is Real, Her Tits Are Not
April May is an android. This explains why she doesn't appear to age. Also also, Redd White and Manfred von Karma are big stupid meanies that don't let her ever take a break. The only human contact she's had is really with young Daryan.
Now, if she has her "rescued from the fire" sequence, we would need a requisite Terminator-style reveal with some of her skin and flesh shorn away to expose her artificial insides.
Re: Super Makoto (Still alive and doing science in '09)
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MoronSonOfBoron wrote:
Now, if she has her "rescued from the fire" sequence, we would need a requisite Terminator-style reveal with some of her skin and flesh shorn away to expose her artificial insides. Then Daryan takes her to Pie and says "MAKE IT BETTER, ENGY-TAN" After all this, April and Lisa become cyborg BFFs or something.
THIS IS THE BEST EVER. :D :D :D
Re: Super Makoto (Still alive and doing science in '09)
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Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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But now let's get down to business...
SUPER MAKOTO'S BEGINNINGS
Or, "The First Episode"
Or, "The First Episode"
That's right, team, we've had lots of fun expanding on all the details of Super Makoto's world, but it's time we got serious about making the "actual story". We have plenty of timeline events and potential plots in place, but we don't have the the most important piece that will bring it all together: Makoto's own story! This summer, I'd like us to get cracking on writing out the nitty-gritty details of the life and times of Makoto, starting with her deciding to use her powers to be a superhero.
Some things we should remember:
- Makoto's powers are pre-existing; she doesn't "discover" them, but she decides to finally use them to change the world around her.
- Makoto is shy. She needs a really good reason to leave her shell, if only for a short while, and this should tie into her motivation and how she approaches problems.
- Wocky is her closest friend. Pearl and Trucy may also be friends with her.
- This is a prelude to the Von Karma Arc.
My take on these is that we should use Sadistress as the "introductory" villain, as she is a very important character. At the same time, it also doesn't make sense to kick off everything with our biggest (plotwise) villain, Manfred himself. We should build up to that as Makoto explores the use of her powers, and their origins.
Other minor considerations: are Pearl and Trucy already in the superhero business at this point? If they are, they could help serve as inspiration for Makoto, and also helpful sidekicks/mentors in her early days.
Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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...Also, congratulations, LadyK! And welcome to the teeeam~ :DDD
...Also *flashes new icon*
Click on the left 'brow and you get the Super Makoto Project; click on the right 'brow and you get Project Kallisti :D
I made my avatar and sig.
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And, well, the thing about the First Episode is that it's also got to be Makoto's defining moment, and a defining moment needs a defining villain. Some gag sideshow simply won't do.
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...Furthermore, I hate to be naggy, but I'm going to go ahead and assume that Gant has his own "villain arc"; which beckons the question: when does that swing around?
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Not meant to offend in any way.
I like the drawings, don't think I could draw any better!
Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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Hmm... I wonder if I should make some kind of first-post disclaimer that this is about Ese, not Yuuki...
I've brought up the AA:I thing in chat with the others once or twice... considering that our main basis for this is AJ, I think it's safe to say that anything outside of that timeline is mostly tertiary. As far as I can tell, AA:I has little to no bearing on the AJ arc. And even if it did, we'd rearrange its timeline beyond recognition.
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Yeah, of course I could see her just leaving her home only if someone was accompanied by someone. Since her powers are pre-existing and doubtful she'd use them outsisde. I figured she'd probably use them if someone was of course in trouble. Like take it her friends Trucy and Pearl. Say, they do have their powers and what not and they become incompasitated in a situation which prevents them from fighting back.
I would think Makoto would summon up the nerve to use her gift anyway she could to help her friends.
Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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You can contribute art of whomever you like, though you should probably keep an eye on characters that we are currently discussing, or ones that lack art in general. The tags in the Photobucket list the number of pieces in each one, so it's relatively easy to track that. As for writing, you can see that I've been asking for opinions about how to do Super Makoto's story. Go ahead and throw an idea out there, but be sure to research all you can in the wiki, as well as asking myself and others about details and ideas that need clearing up.
Back to the discussion, I agree with the idea of having Makoto fight for her friends, but to me that seems like a relatively narrow ideal for her to fight for... though if/when Trucy and Pearl encourage her to become a regular superhero, they could try imparting the values of truth and justice to her. Makoto can grow out of all this, in the end, into something greater.
Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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Or alternate idea of her beloved plushie being in the midst of danger or stolen. *Le gasp* Especially if it's a treasured posession of hers.
Oh right thanks for adding me to the list of contributors as well. <3
Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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http://i320.photobucket.com/albums/nn32 ... t_neck.jpg
Low-tie: The low-tie bow here gives a rather cute effect, due to the long tails of the bow. I believe it could probably stand alone settled on the chest like so, without the crisscross going behind the neck.
Beads: The beads give this a small elegant effect and shows off the neck nicely without is obscuring it.
Bow-tie: A simple bow-tie with a pendant in the middle. The bow could be bigger, but usually with bigger bows on girls it usually adds to them being cuter. Though you don't want it too big to take away from the over all attire. I think longer tails for the bow would work.
Simple: Not too much going on here. Simple is the right word for it, but you get an over all good look at the outfit itself with nothing blocking your view, but accessories adds more flavor to an outfit.
Muffler: A very nice accessory piece, but I fear it doesn't work so well with this particularly outfit, since it appears to be a plain muffler. Perhaps a few jeweled sequins or something near the bottom could help?
Pendant: Can't go wrong with a pendant. Simple, but not too simple. Not to mention it's a possibility it could be 'special' in some way, if not it's a lovely accessory none the less. Especially, if it's a interesting shape.
Mock neck: I'm not sure with this particular style with this certain outfit, but it does look good on shirts. I feel like it's a bit too low showing not too much skin, but a little more than should be.
Franzika: Who doesn't want to wear a Franny bow-tie? Elegant and classy, especially with the pendant in between. Close to the simple style bow-tie with the pendant in it, but more elegant with the frills.
Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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Click on the left 'brow and you get the Super Makoto Project; click on the right 'brow and you get Project Kallisti :D
I made my avatar and sig.
You should totes visit my cosplay thread :Db
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But no, seriously, I think that's an alright placement, as it's a sensible alteration to her original bowtie. As for the actual design, however, I find myself partial to the Franziska bow (and it would be a subtle hint as to her origins). I'd also prefer a corset top to a halter. So, that said, what do you think about this?
Spoiler: Low Franziska w/ corset top
I imagine it bouncing a lot. It'd be kind of like a butterfly! :3
Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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Ultimately, what was achieved in introducing Troia to the storyline? Preserving the Gavin brother's ages relative to the timeline? Providing an origin for their superpowers? The thing is, the second case, important as it may be, can be answered with the demonic origin itself, without needing Troia as the middlewoman. That is, Sadistress and Rocktra themselves can be demonic entities, rather than simply half-demons.
Now, while scrapping Troia and moving her backstory into Sadistress' would be a fine development for Sadi herself (it affords plenty of flexibility as to her origins and motives), I realize that there is a bit of controversy when you consider what it does to Rocktra. This has always been the problem when it comes to sorting out the Gavin brothers, because they are tied so closely to each other.
Even so, I would prefer to scrap an unnecessary or redundant character, even one I helped create and design.
Your thoughts?
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Click on the left 'brow and you get the Super Makoto Project; click on the right 'brow and you get Project Kallisti :D
I made my avatar and sig.
You should totes visit my cosplay thread :Db
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Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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Spoiler: WELL HERE YOU GO
Re: Super Makoto (Congrats to Project Member LadyK!)
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Hm, I don't think I quite like the idea of removing Troia; her presence in the backstory helps to ground the Gavins somewhat. If anything, we'll keep her as more of a supporting or minor character.
= = = = =
Do you know what time it is?
- Crouching Cobalt, Hidden Reference by Haibara~n
- Spy vs Spy by Haibara~n
- Valerie and CosStar by MSOB
- Chibi Troia and Evil Chibi Troia by Haibara~n
- More Troia than you can handle by MSOB, Haibara~n
- A slice of Viola by Haibara~n
- ZOMG FIRST BRUTO oh and some Mimi by MSOB, Haibara~n
- ZOMG FIRST DANDEE aka Viola's mom by MSOB — I'd like to ask if anyone has ideas as to what, exactly, happend to Viola's parents, and if we can tie that into any other characters. (Epic backstab and powerplay by Dee? More selective killing by Gant? Both?)
- Machi = Interpol? by MSOB — We've always skirted around making Machi an official member of Interpol, but I think it's natural to think he would be involved with them somehow. What do you think?
- Makoto is vera beautiful by Kiero — lolseewhatididthere
- ZOMG RAINBOWS by MSOB
- SECRET HANDSHAKE OF AWESOME JUSTICE by MSOB
- Palindrone Squared by Haibara~n
- Venom Dissolve and Venom Reality Shred by MSOB — The second one is like some kind of special attack where Makoto can rip through the very fabric of reality and create portals to Artspace at will.
- lolsideboobs by MSOB, Kiero
- I now pronounce you Maggey Gumshoe by Kiero
- Alita Tiala: Single Female Doctor by MSOB — "Your Body; Our Business" is officially the official slogan of Holy Trinity
- Gavin Girls lineart by MSOB and colored by Haibara~n — Oh god what is this I don't even
- Pink Princess Pose in Petals by MSOB — epic armor design by Kiero
- Purty Makoto and CosStar w/Final Smash by Kiero, MSOB
- Valerie in the shadows by Gigafreak
- Topless Sadistress by Kiero — HEHEHEHE
- Makoto is surrounded by little girls by MSOB — or "Some Of My Best Friends Are Superheroes". I think this would make a charming cover or introductory picture for Super Makoto.
- Don't Stop Meekins Now by Haibara~n
- Valerie is a Killer Queen by Haibara~n
- Mimi in nurse outfit by MSOB — Featured on the wiki, too!
- Mime Demon and mask by MSOB
- Crouching Makoto, Hidden Silliness by Kiero
- Venom Makoto en flamenco by Kiero — Inspired by discussion about frilly skirts and corsets. Venom Makoto seems most likely to wear a flamenco dress of some sort.
Last edited by MoronSonOfBoron on Fri Jul 17, 2009 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter In The Works)
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Alright, for the first chapter of Super Makoto, I believe we need these characters:
- Makoto Ese/Super Makoto: This goes without saying!
- Trucy Wright/Trumpcard: The world of Super Makoto has plenty of established superheroes. Establishing this fact using Trucy and Pearl is important, as they are also Makoto's close friends and part of her motivation to become a superhero herself. As far as magical girls go, Trucy is more of a Cute Witch, with few direct combat techniques, and it's possibly her tutelage that helps Makoto adapt her unusual powers to superhero work. Trucy is the pure- and light-hearted side of superheroism.
- Pearl Fey/Pink Princess: To contrast Trucy, we have Pearl represent the more modern Magic Warrior archetype. While Trucy is more straightforward with her innate abilities, Pearl is fully accessorized with a Magical Transformation Sequence, weapon of choice, and a mentor to learn it all from. Pearl imparts that SUPERHEROISM IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.
- Drew Ese: What Magical Girl series would be complete without a doting and worried parent figure?
Lots of them, maybe, but we already ruled out Parental Abandonment.It's sad that we haven't developed Drew much, because he is one of the most important characters: he raised Makoto to be the hero she will be throughout the rest of the series. - Wocky Kitaki: And of course, the perennial love interest. Wocky is the plain and mundane side of things aside from Drew, and may represent in some ways all the people in the world Makoto wishes or is destined to protect.
- Kristoph Gavin/Sadistress: As I stated before, Sadistress is an important villain, and Makoto's entry into superheroism ought to be linked to another major character. This is a great setup for them becoming archnemeses, and it will add definite weight to all of Sadistress' future appearances... stop laughing!
In any case, consider this a shortlist of characters we need to finish designing.
- Super Makoto almost has her outfit ready, thanks to Kiki's designs. This is pretty much it, but we need to settle on things from the waist down; the belt may be a bit much, and her leggings and boots need to be finalized.
- Trumpcard has older designs from Minuki (the forum member), and needs to be revisited. This is a more recent iteration by Kiki, and you can see how it compares to Minuki's original design and a later iteration by myself. The red and white stripes I find a bit distracting: returning to something closer to Minuki's design (and Trucy's original game outfit) might be more suitable.
- Pink Princess is on the cusp of finalization, with Kiki's armor designs. Here's Kiki's design sketch, which you can compare with a recent iteration.
- Drew and Wocky are both lacking greatly in the art department. HEY, THE GUYS NEED LOVE, TOO.
- Sadistress may be one of the most popular subjects, and certainly has a direction for her design, but we have yet to hammer out the details. Iterations of her design have run the gamut of leotards, wraps, corsets, and more.
If you have any ideas for how this can play out, please submit them here. More characters can participate in Super Makoto's beginning, which could still happen any different number of ways. The future is in your hands!
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
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MoronSonOfBoron wrote:
colored by Haibara~n — Oh god what is this I don't even
....yyyyyyeahhh I kinda have to apologize for that
trackpad + boredom = something I was kind of hoping would get swept up by maintenance
ALSO ALSO I dunnae why you're even puzzling over Wocky as far as his appearance, unless...you were planning to make him look different, for some reason...? I mostly saw him as lolcivillianloveinterest, and if he's not, then obviously he needs much, much more development? :'v;; (Or if I'm just being an ignorant dunce then I'll head over to PChat and you can fill me in laterrrr.)
And I very much like the corset design, although I think that knee-high boots (or even higher, if you like that kind of thing :v) would be a nice touch as well. ...But I think the random teensy pink bikini is a biiiiiit too much.
Click on the left 'brow and you get the Super Makoto Project; click on the right 'brow and you get Project Kallisti :D
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Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
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As for Sadistress, I'm also leaning towards more coverage overall (except for the cleavage, of course).
EDIT: Oh God, Sadi in overalls WHY GOD WHY
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
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We noticed there are a lot of characters who have less artwork/development. You don't have to draw the characters that are listed but it is recommended to give those characters more in-depth look (Some characters not listed have over 20 pics).
Name + Any other names (# of artwork already made)
Angel Starr + Vision (18)
April May (12)
Billy Bob John + Tuxedo Max (8)
Bruce Goodman + Shadow (9)
Bruto Cadaverini (1)
Celeste Inpax + Iron Maiden (19)
Charley (10)
Dandee Vasquez (1)
Dee Vasquez (4)
Desiree DeLite + Triple D (17)
Dick Gumshoe (4)
Jake Marshall + Dusk (9)
El Mariach Machi (18)
Glen Elg (6)
Holy Trinity Trio (3-2)
Iris Fey (12)
Jean Armstrong (1)
Juan Corrida + General Gitaroo (12)
Lana Skye + Icecap (15)
Larry Butz (6)
Leon (3)
Lotta Hart (8)
Magget Gumshoe (10)
Manfred von Karma (10)
Maya Fey (19)
Meekins + Cobalt (9)
Mia Fey (15)
Mime Demon (2)
Misty Fey (3)
Morgan Fey (4)
Neil Marshall (1)
Lisa Basil + Palindrone (17)
Penny Nichols (5)
Pie LaMode (14)
Plum Kitaki (1)
Redd White (4)
Regent (4)
Regina Berry + Lucky (19)
Romein LeTouse (5)
Sal Manella + The Guildmaster (5?)
Spark Brushel (4)
Terry Fawles (1)
Tigre (5)
Troia Gavin (18)
Valerie Hawthorne (12)
Wendy Oldbag (1)
Wesley Stickler (2)
Will Powers (1)
Note: I am not 100% correct
Edited: This is the list of characters with no artwork at all.
Ami Fey
Doctor Guy Eldoon
Drew Ese
Ini Miney
Gregory Edgeworth
Marvin Grossberg
Mister Hawthorne
Mo Miney (?)
Victor Kudo
The Gramarye Family
Stay Tuned!
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
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Quote:
Makoto finds herself hiding in a corner watching Trumpcard and Pink Princess face off against the powerful Sadistress. The junior heroes are outmatched, even two-on-one. Faced with the prospect of her friends being hurt and humiliated by this awful villain, Makoto puts her hands together and... prays. Yes, she prays for the safety of her friends. Even to this moment, she has always been passive in life, hiding behind her drawings and living quietly and unobtrusively. Slowly it dawns on her that this lovely world that she lives in is a vulnerable, fragile thing, slowly being eaten away on all sides by evil and hatred. Soon enough it would come down to her, and she would be alone.
So instead she prays to see or hear some message from the powers that be, for a guiding light to show her what to do, and the strength to follow it. Receiving no such message, she clutches her plushie desperately to her chest. Then she sees the color green; a mysterious message at best. The color flashes again, and she looks around, spotting her green pen nearby, and her sketchpad...
So instead she prays to see or hear some message from the powers that be, for a guiding light to show her what to do, and the strength to follow it. Receiving no such message, she clutches her plushie desperately to her chest. Then she sees the color green; a mysterious message at best. The color flashes again, and she looks around, spotting her green pen nearby, and her sketchpad...
Just an idea I had. What do you think?
Last edited by MoronSonOfBoron on Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
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Lacks setup for the "superhero" world she lives in, but I didn't want to have a typical adventure story where the hero-to-be starts out admiring or idolizing other heroes or fantasizes about being one just before they're visited by a magical cat.
Lack of visual aid may detract from the full effect, so I might do storyboards for this. Nonetheless, if anyone else has another angle they'd like to try for writing, go ahead. Pie tells me it's lacking a certain something to really pull at one's heartstrings.
Quote:
SCENE: CALIFORNIA COASTLINE, SUNSET, PRESENT DAY
A man with a bushy gray hair is driving south on an open highway, the setting sun creating a vivid orange and pink backdrop. He is wearing a dark green sports jacket, crisp and clean. His expression is ruminative but easy, one hand on the steering wheel of his top-down convertible, the other lazily resting on the backrest of the empty chair beside him. It's a very classy car with retro touchs: a brilliant violet paint job, chrome finishes, whitewall tires and tail fins.
Makoto Ese: (narrating) Every great adventure starts with a dream.
This was my father's dream: making cool cash selling reproduction paintings, speaking at art galleries, catering to common, urban, and upper-crust tastes alike. The good life, as some might say.
The man goes into a tunnel, the headlights of his car becoming abstract pinpoints and arcs in the shadow.
Makoto Ese: Some say that life is about the journey, rather than the big payoff at the end. It's true, but that doesn't mean you forget your dream. A dream is a guiding light on the first steps of your journey.
SCENE: BLAZING SPRINGS DOWNTOWN, DAYTIME, MANY YEARS AGO
When the man emerges from the tunnel, he is in a rusted orange coupe, slouched vigilantly over the steering wheel. His hair and clothing are splotched with dried, crusty paint. The scenery has changed to a colorful, congested downtown intersection.
Makoto Ese: What you end up discovering is that the world is too full of strange and wonderful things and people that you can't take those first steps without bumping into one of them.
The man stops at a red light and turns around to look at the back seat of the car.
Makoto Ese: When that happens, your life changes, and the path you were meant to take reveals itself.
In the back seat of the car is a young girl with blue hair, quietly occupying herself with an Etch-A-Sketch. Her clothes are varied shades of dark violet and pink, and very conservative dress similar to the man's. She has an intense, concentrated look about her, calm and expressionless. The drawing is incredibly detailed and intricate.
Drew Ese: Makoto?
Makoto Ese: (looks up) Father?
Drew Ese: How about some ice cream?
Makoto Ese: (grips her Etch-A-Sketch eagerly and smiles only very slightly) Okay.
The car turns a corner and disappears into the urban landscape.
Makoto Ese: (narrating) This was my dream: to be like my father. Not exactly, of course, but to be a caring and concerned friend for others the same way he's been for me.
SCENE: IVY HIGH SCHOOL, DAYTIME, PRESENT DAY
Makoto Ese: (narrating) It's more difficult than I anticipated.
A man with a bushy gray hair is driving south on an open highway, the setting sun creating a vivid orange and pink backdrop. He is wearing a dark green sports jacket, crisp and clean. His expression is ruminative but easy, one hand on the steering wheel of his top-down convertible, the other lazily resting on the backrest of the empty chair beside him. It's a very classy car with retro touchs: a brilliant violet paint job, chrome finishes, whitewall tires and tail fins.
Makoto Ese: (narrating) Every great adventure starts with a dream.
This was my father's dream: making cool cash selling reproduction paintings, speaking at art galleries, catering to common, urban, and upper-crust tastes alike. The good life, as some might say.
The man goes into a tunnel, the headlights of his car becoming abstract pinpoints and arcs in the shadow.
Makoto Ese: Some say that life is about the journey, rather than the big payoff at the end. It's true, but that doesn't mean you forget your dream. A dream is a guiding light on the first steps of your journey.
SCENE: BLAZING SPRINGS DOWNTOWN, DAYTIME, MANY YEARS AGO
When the man emerges from the tunnel, he is in a rusted orange coupe, slouched vigilantly over the steering wheel. His hair and clothing are splotched with dried, crusty paint. The scenery has changed to a colorful, congested downtown intersection.
Makoto Ese: What you end up discovering is that the world is too full of strange and wonderful things and people that you can't take those first steps without bumping into one of them.
The man stops at a red light and turns around to look at the back seat of the car.
Makoto Ese: When that happens, your life changes, and the path you were meant to take reveals itself.
In the back seat of the car is a young girl with blue hair, quietly occupying herself with an Etch-A-Sketch. Her clothes are varied shades of dark violet and pink, and very conservative dress similar to the man's. She has an intense, concentrated look about her, calm and expressionless. The drawing is incredibly detailed and intricate.
Drew Ese: Makoto?
Makoto Ese: (looks up) Father?
Drew Ese: How about some ice cream?
Makoto Ese: (grips her Etch-A-Sketch eagerly and smiles only very slightly) Okay.
The car turns a corner and disappears into the urban landscape.
Makoto Ese: (narrating) This was my dream: to be like my father. Not exactly, of course, but to be a caring and concerned friend for others the same way he's been for me.
SCENE: IVY HIGH SCHOOL, DAYTIME, PRESENT DAY
Makoto Ese: (narrating) It's more difficult than I anticipated.
Last edited by MoronSonOfBoron on Sun Sep 06, 2009 5:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
e × e = e²
Gender: Male
Location: God Less America
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 8:17 pm
Posts: 2289
Quote:
SCENE: Makoto's Bedroom, Morning, Present Day
The bedroom is dark, save for a halo of light coming from a curtained window on the far side. A cell phone on the nightstand starts ringing, playing upbeat, fast-paced music by Genki Rockets; the girl in the bed lazily reaches out a spindly hand to turn it off, staying hidden under the lavishly-colored covers.
Soon afterwards, a grown man knocks on the door, then enters after a moment's pause. He has dark grey hair and a bushy moustache, and a dark green jacket flecked with paint.
Drew Ese: Makoto, you're a grown woman now. The least you can do is get yourself out of bed.
(he opens the drapes, letting light into the room and revealing two very excited girls on the other side of the window)
Your friends are already waiting for you to take them to school.
As Drew leaves, Makoto sits up in her bed, draping a blanket over her head as she gives a small wave to her two friends outside. They wave back and signal for her to come outside. She reaches down to the floor, sorting through a mess of art supplies and old clothes to fetch her favorite green sketchpad and a marker.
Makoto Ese: (written) not going
The two girls look at each other and do the same with one of their notebooks.
Girls: (written) ?
Makoto draws a picture of a boy in a cap, with a mean expression. In response, one of the girls, dressed in pink, makes a confident expression and cracks her knuckles. Makoto shakes her head, still.
Girls: (written) WE NEED YOU
Makoto shakes her head again and ducks back under the covers. The two girls look at each other, nod in agreement and leave.
SCENE: Apartment Complex
The two girls look down from the walkways of the apartment's upper floors. The tough girl is dressed in a pink jacket and lavender workout clothes showing off her bare, toned legs and slightly tanned skin. The other girl is more conservatively dressed in layers, her palette consisting of solid blues. They call out to a young man on the ground leaning against a car.
Pearl Fey: Wocky!
The young man has a garish fuchsia and gold jacket, and equally garish hair that is uniquely styled with orange and yellow tufts resembling a fox's ears.
Wocky Kitaki: Yo! Is she up yet?
Trucy Wright: She's still in bed!
Wocky: Ah, geeze. (he ruffles his hair in exasperation and runs up the stairs to the apartment)
The bedroom is dark, save for a halo of light coming from a curtained window on the far side. A cell phone on the nightstand starts ringing, playing upbeat, fast-paced music by Genki Rockets; the girl in the bed lazily reaches out a spindly hand to turn it off, staying hidden under the lavishly-colored covers.
Soon afterwards, a grown man knocks on the door, then enters after a moment's pause. He has dark grey hair and a bushy moustache, and a dark green jacket flecked with paint.
Drew Ese: Makoto, you're a grown woman now. The least you can do is get yourself out of bed.
(he opens the drapes, letting light into the room and revealing two very excited girls on the other side of the window)
Your friends are already waiting for you to take them to school.
As Drew leaves, Makoto sits up in her bed, draping a blanket over her head as she gives a small wave to her two friends outside. They wave back and signal for her to come outside. She reaches down to the floor, sorting through a mess of art supplies and old clothes to fetch her favorite green sketchpad and a marker.
Makoto Ese: (written) not going
The two girls look at each other and do the same with one of their notebooks.
Girls: (written) ?
Makoto draws a picture of a boy in a cap, with a mean expression. In response, one of the girls, dressed in pink, makes a confident expression and cracks her knuckles. Makoto shakes her head, still.
Girls: (written) WE NEED YOU
Makoto shakes her head again and ducks back under the covers. The two girls look at each other, nod in agreement and leave.
SCENE: Apartment Complex
The two girls look down from the walkways of the apartment's upper floors. The tough girl is dressed in a pink jacket and lavender workout clothes showing off her bare, toned legs and slightly tanned skin. The other girl is more conservatively dressed in layers, her palette consisting of solid blues. They call out to a young man on the ground leaning against a car.
Pearl Fey: Wocky!
The young man has a garish fuchsia and gold jacket, and equally garish hair that is uniquely styled with orange and yellow tufts resembling a fox's ears.
Wocky Kitaki: Yo! Is she up yet?
Trucy Wright: She's still in bed!
Wocky: Ah, geeze. (he ruffles his hair in exasperation and runs up the stairs to the apartment)
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
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Location: the internet
Rank: Prosecutor
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:25 pm
Posts: 688
Anyway, guess who's back. (Back again.)If you're on the mailing list, you are probably aware that I've been playing catch-up with what you guys have been doing since I was gone. I'm very impressed! I'm...very overwhelmed.
Regardless, I've been able to glean a few important things, and I'd like to discuss them with all of you.
- "Faithfulness versus Entertainment Value". Alternatively Fanon versus Canon. A few things in the SMako universe are pretty cool, but if you compare the characters to their original place in the games, it doesn't match up. It's obviously impossible to make every single connection in the games show up in an alternate universe, especially since the lawyers (Phoenix and Edgeworth especially) would have to be related in some sort of fashion to pretty much everyone else. Even so, there are some things that are just...really out there.
The most pressing example: Adrian and Franziska. There was a lot of timebending in order to make them able to be Makoto's parents, and they dragged a couple other characters with them (Celeste and Juan). Their placement seems a bit awkward. And yet, Matt is in present day, and Edgeworth is mysteriously unpresent in Franziska's story (to my knowledge).
Like many things in Super Makoto, Adrian and Franziska being lovers and mothers was the result of a joke and popular opinion of the fandom. But is it worth wrecking a lot of canon to put it in like that? I think they can be detached from their current point in the timeline and put in a more appropriate place without disrupting too much. They can retain their superpowered roles and drop their role as mothers.
A snag: If Franziska and Adrian are not her mothers, where, then, did Makoto inherit the Power Perfect? - FURIO TIGRE. There's no real way around it, his current state is pitiful. Apparently linking him to Viola has had little success. So, instead, why don't we try linking him to other people of his case? Remember that he had a lot of pull over Armstrong, and tried to pin the blame on Maggey. This can make him an antagonist of both Interpol and the Blue Badgers. As for his superpowers...heck, I dunno. I'm more concerned about getting characters involved in the story at the moment.
- The Dream Warrior Plushie. It started out as an innocent "spot the author" gag, but now it could play an important role in the story. I've started working on new forms for this plush. Currently, it is looking a little bit like something out of Where the Wild Things Are. Still, there are ways to make it more related to actual canon...it could be a toy bear, since Makoto seems to like them.
Its role as the "spot the author" is lost if we decide to change it. I'm not sure if this sits well with me. Yes, even if I deserted this project for a year or more I still want my handprint on it, I'm that unreasonable.
My "handprint" isn't as important as the story, though, so I'm perfectly fine shelving it for another day.
What are your thoughts?
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
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Posts: 356
Ah, Adrian and Franziska... hmm. Given how the bloodline is the source of Makoto's powers, and thus part of what's supposed to be the central story of all this, that makes their relationship is like a super timey wimey ball that's been built into the main foundation of SMako; even if we decided to take it out, who knows how to begin removing it without taking down a lot of other things. Though personally, I think I'm hesitant on changing it just because I really liked that whole Cindy Stone idea. Maybe rather than changing their position completely, we could make an effort in expanding their part in the story more, making them not quite so satellite to everyone else? Because it's the fact that they seem to drop out of the story entirely after the backstory that really cuts them off from characters like Matt and Edgeworth.
I am all for expanding Tigre's position, yes. I mean, he's got the most epic theme ever, that alone makes him deserve his own story arc. I will not deny, when I brought up the idea of him being made with Phoenix's DNA, it was in hopes of bumping up his status from evil minion and giving him a direction we could take him in against one of the bigger characters. But I guess that didn't go much of anywhere. We need some specific ideas.
The bear idea is cute, but I really do like Dream Warrior. And it occurs to me... who says Makoto only needs one plush toy? Heck, if she can make her drawings come to life, maybe she's made a whole mountain of stuffed bears and animals for herself.
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
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Location: God Less America
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 8:17 pm
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My qualm with it is that, even with all of our work, there are a number of "dead-ended" storyline and character opportunities that have rippled out from its inception. I agree with Pie in that we should revisit the background story as we have it and completely rework it so we can draw more content from it. I would very much like to see Celeste have a more ongoing part in the story, for one.
For Tigre, however, I believe he needs to be divorced from Holy Trinity. Neither entity benefits from the other as it stands; for me, it's now clear that Tigre needs a different affiliation altogether. What about moving him back into the realm of organized crime? We've spent a good deal of time on the Cadaverini lineage and to an extent Vasquez; we have yet to detail the Kitaki clan's past, and their nemesis, the Rivales family. And if not a part of any of these factions, he could be associated with other members of underworld society: Redd White, Angel Starr, Damon Gant, Godot, Lady Sakai...
I very much like the idea of Makoto "creating" Dream Warrior for herself, as it certainly makes more sense than Franziska and/or Adrian creating it for her. Someone brought up an interesting point: maybe it could resemble her mothers more, as a sort of portrait of them or an artifact of Makoto's early memories of them.
Re: Super Makoto (First Chapter in the works)
e × e = e²
Gender: Male
Location: God Less America
Rank: Ace Attorney
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 8:17 pm
Posts: 2289
In the tradition of lifting concepts from other series wholesale... Just a stupid idea, not something final. Tell me what you think! Add more to it, or cut it down.
Furio Tigre is the leader of a small gang known as the Tiger Snakes. (More like a posse or crew, their membership is less than half a dozen) Aside from being low-level thugs and loan sharks, they also take jobs from larger criminal organizations, namely active Mafia families like the Rivales and Cadaverini. In short, the Tiger Snakes are scum to the underbelly of society, with no strong ties to any particular faction. They get no respect, I tell ya!
Considering possible cohorts for Tigre, we should stick with minor criminal characters with little to no particular connection to others. It's possible to juxtapose Furio's sycophantic tough-guy attitude with more wimpy or serious characters.
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