Let's spork some horrible Fanfiction!

TheGreatSnarkoo · Post by **TheGreatSnarkoo** » Mon May 02, 2016 3:55 am

I came up with an idea for a possible special to liven this thread up (since it's been pretty slow around here as of late).
So what we do is we collect any Klavier X Sue, Klavier X Reader fics that are in somewhat of the same vein as suefics about One Direction/ Twenty One Pilots/ Whatever boy band is popular these days-
and we force Klavier (plus any others sporkers of choice) to read them under the pretense that this is in-universe fanfiction written by his in-universe fangirls. Emotional confusion ensues, as Klavier is torn between his respect for his fans and just how horrible the fics are.
So, yea or nay?

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Mon May 02, 2016 5:07 am

Yay.

I may not have as much time these days to spork, but I still check by in case anyone has questions or want a review of their works.

DrOcsid · Post by **DrOcsid** » Fri May 06, 2016 5:31 pm

Ah-hah. Oh boy, here we go. It’s been a while, but fasten your seatbelts, grab a drink, and unzip your pants, because it’s time for...

Phoenix Drive: Part 2

(okay, maybe not so much on the “unzip your pants” thing)

(Links to Part 1 and Part 3)

Rating:

Dahlia, as usual. Cause sex n’ shit.

And now, our sporkers!

Phoenix Wright!

“Oh, god. Please, no. I had almost erased this from my memory.”

Maya Fey!

“I’ve already got Mia on hold to take care of this for me.”

And a newcomer to this sporking…
Miles Edgeworth!

“‘Phoenix Drive’? I can most likely imagine what this will be about.”

[Our three sporkers enter the theater.]

Phoenix: Trust me, Edgeworth. You wouldn’t be able to imagine what this is about in a million years.

Miles: Is it really that ridiculous?

Maya: Less “ridiculous”, more “something you wouldn’t want to admit exists”.

Miles: Well, now the two of you have managed to worry me a fair bit. What exactly is this about?

Phoenix: It’s… just something you need to see for yourself. Let’s sit down and get this over with.

[The three sporkers sit down.]

Spoiler:

[The lights turn back on.]

Phoenix: Oh, is it over? Thank god.

Management: Not entirely. We’ve still got at least one part to go!

Phoenix: Ack...

Miles: ...Please tell me I won’t be around for it.

Maya: Me, too.

Management: Only time will tell.

Phoenix: Well, let’s go before they make us stay for the second part.

[The sporkers leave the theater.]

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Fri May 06, 2016 6:28 pm

What a thing to see when I return to this thread after so long. I have to admit that I'm more excited to see the end... just to see it all end and to see Edgeworth's reaction to his role in this game. Thanks again, Dr.

Hmm... It's been a while since I've submitted anything to the thread. Maybe I might just get back into it, but... I think a piece of meta fanfiction - even if it's not too bad - would suit me better. Now to find it...

Maya · Post by **Maya** » Thu May 19, 2016 5:51 pm

*points to "Phoenix Drive"* What was that?!?! The pictures?! Someone explain!!!

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Thu May 19, 2016 6:51 pm

Phoenix has some interesting fan games sometimes.

Ace Gorilla · Post by **Ace Gorilla** » Fri May 20, 2016 10:04 am

Hey there. Ace Gorilla here.

I've just recently bumped into this thread, and I must say, I am quite impressed! The sporks are so good, they just seem like fics to me. Yes really. Fics indeed.

Now this might seem sudden, but suddenly I have this strange desire to Spork a fiction. Call me a naive amateur, but might there be any fics yet unclaimed?

PS: Love your sporks, Rubius.

APS: Someone should make a spork about defending the badfics......with the usually impartial Deadpool as a judge.

Um, smilies for good measure:

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Fri May 20, 2016 8:15 pm

Rubius, huh. I could get used to it.

It's been a long time since we've updated the suggested fics list, but luck has compiled a good chunk of them here. As for the ones that I had considered taking, I've dropped.

There's also been several that have been suggested since then. I've compiled them here, excluding a few that I'm not sure have been taken or not, but in any case, these ones should be available.

Spoiler: Fics list pt 2

PS: Actually, I did write a sporking where Phoenix was forced to defend a bad fic he and company just sporked. (Part 2 and the actual defending here.) It was taxing on my mind, though, so I'm not inclined to try it again.

Also, Deadpool should only show up as a sporker or "judging" the sporking if there's a crossover fic with him. It's listed in the rules in the first post.

Ace Gorilla · Post by **Ace Gorilla** » Sat May 21, 2016 9:55 am

@Rubius That's because I have a nick-naming syndrome. Call it the Gant syndrome, if you will

Very well than, I'll do the Snow White one. Thanks for compiling a list of available fics for me. I mean it.

Expect a spork in a few days or so. Thank you for bearing with me.

PS:Deadpool's not allowed? Awwww, I really wanted to see a spork with him. Oh well...~~OF TO FIND A CROSSOVER FIC WITH HIM MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!~~

cuteyounggirlplus · Post by **cuteyounggirlplus** » Sat May 21, 2016 7:46 pm

@~~Rubius~~ Rubia

Thanks for compiling a fic list. Just goes to show you there's more ways than one to contribute to the thread.

Maya · Post by **Maya** » Sat May 21, 2016 9:01 pm

PS: Actually, I did write a sporking where Phoenix was forced to defend a bad fic he and company just sporked. (Part 2 and the actual defending here.) It was taxing on my mind, though, so I'm not inclined to try it again.

I throughly enjoyed it though! The fic itself was quite funny as well...

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Sat May 21, 2016 11:12 pm

Well, I have returned to the mood to spork lately, but I think I'd rather try my hand with a meta fic. It could be interesting to "defend". Any suggestions, guys?

tiger_festival · Post by **tiger_festival** » Sat May 21, 2016 11:54 pm

After episode 2 of the anime aired, some people wanted to see Kyle Rivers: Ace Attorney. Did they really understand what they were asking for?

Ana R. · Post by **Ana R.** » Sun May 22, 2016 3:58 pm

Today is a sad day...
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11952824/1 ... on-the-run
Read that summary: "in dis last final phone wright story"
NOOOOOOOOO!

Maya · Post by **Maya** » Sun May 22, 2016 5:27 pm

My word, Kyle Rivers is pure crack, I couldn't get through the whole cast list. Too much!

cuteyounggirlplus · Post by **cuteyounggirlplus** » Sun May 22, 2016 8:17 pm

Here's a fanfic about Edgeworth watching basically the porno version of Apollo Justice.

http://bludhavens.livejournal.com/76186 ... d=30963610

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Sun May 22, 2016 8:59 pm

ArrowLawn wrote:Today is a sad day...
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11952824/1 ... on-the-run
Read that summary: "in dis last final phone wright story"
NOOOOOOOOO!

that fic wrote:"HEY, i tell u damon gant has BEST FANFIUC have u red this one its called damon gant escaps from prison by balistic dolphin its the BEST FANFIC way better then dat idiot jakkid166"

I smell a conspiracy.

cuteyounggirlplus wrote:Here's a fanfic about Edgeworth watching basically the porno version of Apollo Justice.

http://bludhavens.livejournal.com/76186 ... d=30963610

This one actually isn't too bad, but perhaps the most aggravating thing is one phrase at the end: "his favorite theater".

We all know which really is his favorite threater. >:(

Somewhat tempted to take this with all the cameos, actually. There was this one really meta fanfic on AO3 with Edgeworth and Gumshoe I happened upon while browsing tumblr, but I didn't save a link. It broke the fourth wall right from the get-go too. Does anyone know which one I'm talking about?

Nerdowl · Post by **Nerdowl** » Sun May 22, 2016 9:05 pm

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Somewhat tempted to take this with all the cameos, actually. There was this one really meta fanfic on AO3 with Edgeworth and Gumshoe I happened upon while browsing tumblr, but I didn't save a link. It broke the fourth wall right from the get-go too. Does anyone know which one I'm talking about?

Could it be this one? http://archiveofourown.org/works/6746308

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Sun May 22, 2016 9:13 pm

Nerdowl wrote:
Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: Somewhat tempted to take this with all the cameos, actually. There was this one really meta fanfic on AO3 with Edgeworth and Gumshoe I happened upon while browsing tumblr, but I didn't save a link. It broke the fourth wall right from the get-go too. Does anyone know which one I'm talking about?
Could it be this one? http://archiveofourown.org/works/6746308

That's the one! Thanks, I'm nabbing it for queue.

May expect a sporking sometime later this week, if I can find the time.

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Tue May 24, 2016 8:10 am

Excuse the double post, but I have an experiment I'd like to try. Yes, it has to do with sporkings.

I've thought long and hard about a certain issue this thread constantly faces. It's quite easy to invite people to write their own sporkings, but often times, they don't complete them and eventually up and quit. I understand writing a sporking is a lengthy process. I too frequently run into the fatigue that comes with it.

So, here I suggest a solution: I've started an ask meme on my tumblr side blog. There, I will ask fans to submit characters and a prompt to which I write a derisive conversation.

Let's call it a sort of short-hand variation to the usual sporking formula. Instead of tackling long and tedious fanfics, it keeps the fun nature of the sporkings without exhausting too much time. I think this is an idea that could easily catch on, but what do you guys think? Could we implement a sort of mini-sporking system in this thread?

irebach · Post by **irebach** » Tue May 24, 2016 9:20 am

Good god, I'm dizzy with the amount of sporks I've been reading in the past few....days? Weeks? I honestly don't know.

I'm not too sure whether this forum is still active or not, I guess I just want to say hi and introduce myself?

Hi! Call me Re!

Also, I'm a total newbs but I think the short-spork thing could be p fun, I guess? I like the idea!

...and I'm totes sorry if I'm barging in the wrong time.... (/)(\)

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Tue May 24, 2016 5:31 pm

Welcome, Re! I'm sure this thread is still active since the last few posts, though there tend to be long periods between submissions.

Thanks for taking up to my mini-sporking idea! I'm still ironing out the kinks, but when I get a good grasp of how it's going to work, I hope it helps get this thread running again.

I've also compiled an updated list of fics to spork above (under spoiler tags given the length). Feel free to take you pick!

Skittlemask · Post by **Skittlemask** » Tue May 24, 2016 10:30 pm

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote: So, here I suggest a solution: I've started an ask meme on my tumblr side blog. There, I will ask fans to submit characters and a prompt to which I write a derisive conversation.

Let's call it a sort of short-hand variation to the usual sporking formula. Instead of tackling long and tedious fanfics, it keeps the fun nature of the sporkings without exhausting too much time. I think this is an idea that could easily catch on, but what do you guys think? Could we implement a sort of mini-sporking system in this thread?

So, it's not really a "sporking" per se (not picking apart anything), but rather just a dialogue based on whatever prompt you receive? Personally, I don't mind the idea, the interactions and dialogue are my favorite parts of the sporkings anyway. I still think we should come up with a new name for it since it's not really sporking anything.

@irebach, well, we're active. Things used to be kind of hectic around here from, like, August to December... but now activity around here is a bit more sporadic. Thanks for introducing yourself and your definitely not barging in at the wrong time, so don't worry!

irebach · Post by **irebach** » Wed May 25, 2016 1:07 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:Welcome, Re! I'm sure this thread is still active since the last few posts, though there tend to be long periods between submissions.

Thanks for taking up to my mini-sporking idea! I'm still ironing out the kinks, but when I get a good grasp of how it's going to work, I hope it helps get this thread running again.

I've also compiled an updated list of fics to spork above (under spoiler tags given the length). Feel free to take you pick!

Oh! Then, I hope I can visit this forum more often... Considering I've already graduated high school and probably not entering university so lots of free time! ...Haha. ...I have no life.

So in the future, this forum is not just for sporking, but also for the Management to play around with the characters even more, ja? ~~Now I pity the cast. I really do.~~

I'll pick one soon, then! Um, can you check on the finished product once I finished the spork? I'll admit that I'm not that good with grammar and I rarely wrote AA fanfiction so I think I might go OOC... So yeah.

Skittlemask wrote: @irebach, well, we're active. Things used to be kind of hectic around here from, like, August to December... but now activity around here is a bit more sporadic. Thanks for introducing yourself and your definitely not barging in at the wrong time, so don't worry!

Oh... So the other sporkers are busy... I'll do my best to barge in more often then!

Okay!

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed May 25, 2016 1:38 am

Ah, I should explain. The mini-sporking series (I have no idea what to call it. Ace Attorney Reacts?) is a separate project of mine I've set on my blog, but I hope it helps draw in more fans to this thread. I miss the days when we were all the hubbub.

And sure, if you've got a sporking, I can help with a few revisions. I've done it for quite a few people before. I'm currently in the middle of one myself, but I'm taking it easy with this one. It's been a while since I've gotten back into the groove.

irebach · Post by **irebach** » Wed May 25, 2016 1:52 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:Ah, I should explain. The mini-sporking series (I have no idea what to call it. Ace Attorney Reacts?) is a separate project of mine I've set on my blog, but I hope it helps draw in more fans to this thread. I miss the days when we were all the hubbub.

And sure, if you've got a sporking, I can help with a few revisions. I've done it for quite a few people before. I'm currently in the middle of one myself, but I'm taking it easy with this one. It's been a while since I've gotten back into the groove.

Oh, sorry! I misunderstood your description orz Then wouldn't it be possible for the sporked authors to... know about our existence?

Okay! I've set my eyes on Phoenix Wright Turnabout Monster... It's a wild, wild ride right from the beginning

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed May 25, 2016 2:30 am

I'm pretty sure some authors whose works are featured here have realized the existence of this theater and are totally cool with it. We have yet to receive complaints from anyone about what we're doing here, so I believe we're in the clear.

And then there are those who write bad fanfiction for the express purpose of having them be sporked... er, I admit I may be one of them.

Have fun.

Ace Gorilla · Post by **Ace Gorilla** » Thu May 26, 2016 9:03 am

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:Excuse the double post, but I have an experiment I'd like to try. Yes, it has to do with sporkings.

I've thought long and hard about a certain issue this thread constantly faces. It's quite easy to invite people to write their own sporkings, but often times, they don't complete them and eventually up and quit. I understand writing a sporking is a lengthy process. I too frequently run into the fatigue that comes with it.

So, here I suggest a solution: I've started an ask meme on my tumblr side blog. There, I will ask fans to submit characters and a prompt to which I write a derisive conversation.

Let's call it a sort of short-hand variation to the usual sporking formula. Instead of tackling long and tedious fanfics, it keeps the fun nature of the sporkings without exhausting too much time. I think this is an idea that could easily catch on, but what do you guys think? Could we implement a sort of mini-sporking system in this thread?

Ha ha!, don't worry @Rubia, I'm still pretty much active in the writing up of the Spork!

About that mini-spork idea of yours, interesting concept, but an example of it would be nice forgive me for my odd sentence structuring I'm not a native speaker of English bye bye.

DefenceLawyer · Post by **DefenceLawyer** » Thu May 26, 2016 10:03 am

*Still trying to recover from Phoenix Drive*

irebach · Post by **irebach** » Thu May 26, 2016 10:15 am

Oh, also! I'm not sure if this website is allowed or not for the sporks, but usually, the one on wattpad is spork-able!

https://www.wattpad.com/tags/aceattorney/new

There's a lot of x Reader in wattpad, after all. Hehe.

irebach · Post by **irebach** » Mon May 30, 2016 10:08 am

I had a lot of help from Rubia-senpai so thank you so much! I can't believe I'm posting my first ever sporking....

Rate :

(The grammar is horrible, the spelling is horrible, the story makes no sense at all, but at least they were amusing. Is this a troll fic?)

And now, our sporkers!

Phoenix Wright!
"This isn't from that game, right? RIGHT?"

Maya Fey!
"3 sahwits? Maybe today wouldn't be so bad!"
Aaaand the resident sporker!

Miles Edgeworth!
"Please, I'm begging you, leave me alone for one spork."

[The three sporkers enter the theater. Maya sits on one of the chair, Phoenix on her left and Edgeworth on her right.]
Maya : This isn't Phoenix Drive, right?
Edgeworth : We do not see a keyboard or a mouse, so I assume that it's just another fanfiction.
Phoenix : Anything is better than that game. ANYTHING. Also, no barf bag. Great.
Maya : Hey, Management! Can we get some food?
Speaker : Unfortunately, since this one is pretty short, then it's a no.
Maya : Awww...
[The light dims.]

phoenix wright turnabout monster, a phoenix wright: ace attorney fanfic

Phoenix : ...What's with that title?
Maya : Monster... Maybe Steel Samurai will swoop in and save the day?
Phoenix : ...Don't get your hopes up, Maya.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ace Attorney, and I don't profit from this.

Phoenix : Good.

Phoenix Wright and Maya were watching tv in the oofice.

Maya : A typo in the first sentence?
Edgeworth : It's inevitable when we face a fanfic with a title in lowercase.
Maya : True, true. It's so got that "crack fic" feel to it!
Phoenix : I wonder why people would still write something like this to this day...

"hey nick shouldn't you be finding clients or something" said myaa

Maya : Myaa? I thought my evil twin is Ayam, not Myaa!
Phoenix : Maybe your evil counterpart has a twin?
Maya : You mean I have a triplet!? *gasp* Maybe I can multiply myself?
Phoenix : Last time I checked, you're a human being, not an amoeba.

"but I get all my clients from watchin tv and hopin someone get arrested" said nick

Phoenix : Excuse me?
Maya : Well, we did get Will Powers' case while we watched the TV...
Phoenix : But I'm not hoping someone gets arrested!
Edgeworth : But, if no one gets arrested, attorneys wouldn't survive, no?
Phoenix : Edgeworth.

"BREAKING NEWS" said tv "NICK ARRESTED FOR MASS MURDER"

Phoenix : It could be anyone else, I'm not the only Nick in this world! It could be Nick Jonas, or maybe other Nick...
Edgeworth : For the sake of the plot, Wright, let's ignore the possibility of the existence of other Nicks.
Phoenix : Nggggh.

"WAIT WHAT THE FUCK NO" yelled phoenix

Phoenix : Exactly.
Maya : Well, how do you know it's not you? Maybe you forgot you did a genocide?
Phoenix : How, exactly, does one forget when they do a genocide?

"nick what you do now" said maya

Maya : Um, hide in Kurain for a while?
Phoenix : Maya, no.
Edgeworth : If Wright did genocide, wouldn't Kurain be the first place they looked into?
Maya : Oh, right.

"FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER" shouted door and the door busted down and the cops came in

Edgeworth : Don't tell me...
Phoenix : Then, I'm not going to tell you.

"WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED PHOENIX WRIGHT" said Gumshoe and gumshoe detective badd mike meekins and damon gant all burst into the room and pointed their guns at nick

Phoenix : Wait, Gant? He's not a police officer anymore! He's supposed to be in jail! What's he doing here!?
Edgeworth : That is what we'd like to know as well.
Phoenix : Better yet, it's surprising that all of them could fit through the entrance. They jammed inside looking like an angry mob rather than police.
Maya : That Officer Meekins looks so small between Gant and that dark, brooding guy! Is he fine handling a gun? He looks like he's a danger more to himself with it...
Edgeworth : Considering how he is in real life... giving Officer Meekins a gun wouldn't be the best idea in any situation.
Phoenix : It wouldn't be any better giving Gant a gun either. This bound to be a disaster.

"oh shit maya run" yelled nick

Maya : But why would I run? I did nothing wrong.
Phoenix : Maybe you helped me? Since I'm a suspect and you're hiding me, I guess?
Maya : Well, that doesn't make sense! This place is yours, remember?
Phoenix : Well, yeah... (But we're associated by trade, so you're bound to be caught up in it too.)

and then pheonix did a backflip through the window on to the highway and landed in edgeworth car

Maya : You'll hurt your old, old back if you backflipped, Nick.
Phoenix : Hey, I'm not that old! (I'm just not good with gymnastics.)
Edgeworth : And why am I assisting a suspect running from the police?
Phoenix : ...Well. Maybe because I'm your old friend?
Maya : Ha! Old!
Phoenix : Oh, shush!
Edgeworth : Also... wouldn't you hit the roof of my car instead of going in? Does this author think I have a car with an open roof?
Phoenix : ...Doesn't that sound fun?

"drive motherfucker" phoenick said to edgeworth

Phoenix : ...I am speechless.
Edgeworth : Wright, cease your idiotic nicknaming this instance.
Phoenix : Bu-but, it's, um, cool?
Edgeworth : If getting those kinds of nicknames is "cool", I do not need to be cool.

meanwhile maya was holdin down manfred von karma (who the cops brought with them cause they needed someone with a taser)

Edgeworth : *twitch* Why on earth would they bring von Karma just for the sake of the taser? They can buy one for themselves instead of asking a criminal to be there to catch another criminal.
Maya : I sound so awesome. And why not go all out? They brought back that Gant guy!
Edgeworth : Ngggh.
Phoenix : Didn't this happen in the police department's records room back then? Even the taser.
Maya : The author was inspired? I dunno.
Edgeworth : von Karma. Tased you.
Phoenix : Yeah, on your case back then.
Maya : After we showed you that letter!
Edgeworth : He must've been desperate..

"after him shouted gumshoe"

Edgeworth : Who on earth said this?
Phoenix : Isn't it awkward if someone said calmly "after him shouted gumshoe"?
Maya : Maybe it's a roleplayer!
Phoenix : Maya, please.

"FASTER FASTER" said phoe nix to edgewort

Maya : Evil Xin Eohp confirmed!
Phoenix : If fic-me running away... then is he actually guilty?
Edgeworth : If I am caught because I aided your escape, I will hunt you down.
Phoenix : (Is it me or did the theater suddenly turn colder...?)

miles and phoenix were driving down the highway at 500 edgeworth per hour but they were being chased by the polices elite team of blue badgers

Edgeworth : Blue Badgers? ...Now that's an image I wish I never see again.
Phoenix : I've had enough of the Blue Badger, to be honest.
Edgeworth : You've had enough? Imagine being assaulted by a badger. In a haunted house.
Phoenix : ...That sounds pretty scary. You win.

"oh no" said edgeworth as the blue badgers tackled his car and he and phoenix were arrested by the blue badger army

Phoenix: How did they even catch up on foot? We were driving!
Maya: Well, if you were only going 500 Edgeworths per hour, maybe it's not that fast?
Edgeworth: If I saw that many badgers after me, I would be driving as fast as I could.
Phoenix: How fast can you run anyway?
Edgeworth: My running speed has nothing to do with my car's speed, thank you!
Maya : But, it's Edgeworths per hour, so your running speed has to have something to do with it!
Phoenix : Yeah, Edgeworth. What do you say to that?
Edgeworth : Can we drop this? *exasperated*

so phoenix get sent to detention center.

Phoenix : Whoop. *flatly* Wouldn't be the first time.

then gumshoe come into center. "sorry nick it looks like we had the wrong nick"

Phoenix : I told you so!
Maya : Ooooh, it's not you, Nick! It would be much more fun if it were you, though.
Edgeworth : True, it would at least be a twist I'd be more willing to accept.
Phoenix : Why must I suffer for your pleasure...
Maya : But Nick, it's a crack fic! Someone has to suffer some way and you're it this time!

"wait what" said phoenix

Phoenix : Our thoughts at this moment.
Maya : Excuse you, I was thinking about burgers and Steel Samurai!
Phoenix : Wait, what?

"yeah tv just said nick commit mass murder but it turns out it was actually SAINT nick"

Phoenix : ...Saint Nick? Are you kidding me?
Maya : Maybe this St. Nick is such a religious zealot that he'd go crazy? Wouldn't surprise me if there's two St. Nicks at this point.
Edgeworth : One insane "Nick" is already too much, thank you.
Phoenix : ...Are you saying something about me, Edgeworth?

"WOAH" say phoenix "santa commit murder. what happened?"

Phoenix : Santa committed genocide. A sentence I never thought I would see.
Maya : Santa committed mass murder? Whoa.
Edgeworth : Maya, it's not real.
Maya : The image is horrifying, though... Just imagine his ho-ho-ho turned into this maniacal laugh... on and on... like a broken record......
Phoenix : Another image I wish to forget. Thanks, Maya.

"yeah it was at gourdy lake" gum shoe said

Phoenix : Why there.
Maya : Famous murder spot!
Phoenix : Don't say something so dark like that.

"OH NO" shouted phoenix "that wasn't santa at all!"

Phoenix : Oh, don't tell me...
Maya : But Nick, the Santa on Gourdy lake that time was...!

"what?!"

Edgeworth : Detective Gumshoe is in-character. Amazing.

"yeah the santa at gourdy lake is actually LARRY IN SANTA COSTUME"

Phoenix : I KNEW IT!
Edgeworth : When something smells, it's usually the Butz. Do you forget the saying, Wright?
Phoenix : No, but this is the- what, the second time?
Edgeworth : Actually, it should've been the third time, not second. He was a suspect in my game.
Speakers : The Management would like to remind Miles Edgeworth not to break the fourth wall.
Edgeworth : *Groan*

"oh no" said gumbshoe "are you going to defend him"

Phoenix : One time was enough, thanks.

"yes but first I have to get out of prison" said nick

Phoenix : No. Why, fic-me? Why?
Maya : At least you're innocent!
Phoenix : Then why am I still in prison?!
Edgeworth : It wouldn't surprise me if Detective Gumshoe forgot to fill out the papers... again.
Maya : Give the poor guy a break, Mr. Edgeworth.

SUDDEnLY THERE WAS A PRISON RIOT

Phoenix : Wait, a prison riot? What? Why? How?
Maya : Whatever! It's a riot! Whooo!
Edgeworth : Maya, please sit down and stop jumping around. The riot is in the fanfiction, not here.
Maya : Boo, killjoy.

"OH SHIT HALP" screamed the cops be cause kristoph gavin had broken out of his cell and was laughn maniacally and was splashing atroquinine in everyone's faces

Edgeworth : ...That's a poison. This is a prison.
Phoenix : A poison? In prison? How in the world could he have...
Edgeworth : Atroquinine is a rather rare poison, so normal civilians wouldn't be able to get their hands on it... let alone a prisoner.
Phoenix : So... how?
Edgeworth : Don't ask me.
Phoenix : Well, fine... Anyone want to take a guess how the heck he broke out of prison?
Maya : Maybe he just bent the bars?
Phoenix : He looks way too skinny. There's no way he could bend his way out!
Maya : But he had that poison and stuff! Maybe it weakened the bars!
Edgeworth: Atroquinine cannot melt through steel.
Maya : Oh. Well, I'm out.

"TAKE THAT OFFICERS" laughed kristop

Phoenix : I don't think splashing poison on their faces is going to make them ingest any, though.
Edgeworth : Wright, stop questioning the fanfic. You're going to give me a headache too.
Phoenix : Right. (I just can't help myself, okay.)

"oh no" said nick and gumshow

Maya : Oh no, indeed!

"I HAVE YOU NOW PHOENIX WRIGHT" cakled kristoph

Phoenix : *Shiver* (What's with this guy...)
Maya : Is it me, or does that sentence sound so wrong out of context?
Phoenix : Please don't bring it up.
Edgeworth : After everything we've force-fed so far, it unfortunately does... *Shiver*
Phoenix : Don't bring it up.

but suddenly godot jump out off his cell and throw coffee mug at kristoph

Maya : Mr. Godot suddenly gained the power to go through cells!
Edgeworth : Wouldn't he escape jail if that was the case?
Maya : ...So the cell was unlocked? Lame.

"OH NO I CAN'T SEE" said gavin and he tripped and fell into sirhan dogen cell and got attacked by assassins

Edgeworth : Good riddance.
Phoenix : Wait, what? Who's Sirhan Dogen?
Edgeworth : A blind assassin who always did his hits with his beloved dog, Anubis.
Maya : He had a dog? Cool!

meanwhile maya broke into prison to rescue nick and was beatin up the cops when suddenly nick and gumshoe arrive

Maya : It's-a me, the rebel!
Phoenix : God, Maya. That looked painful as heck.
Maya : At least they know I can punch well.
Phoenix : (...Well, at least someone's happy.)

"ok come on nick we have to break out edgeworth now" said maya

Edgeworth : About time.

"no leave him" said phoenix "that way they have no one to prosecute larry"

Phoenix : (...I had a feeling that Edgeworth is glaring at me right now.)

"ok"

Maya : Noooo, Ayam! Why did you leave Mr. Edgeworth alone?! That's wrong, go back and break him out of his cell!
Edgeworth : ...Why am I here in the first place?
Maya : Because you broke the speed limit? Maybe it was only 200 Edgeworths per hour!
Edgeworth : That measurement made no sense at all in the first place!

LATER AT COURT

Edgeworth : I had a feeling it would turn into chaos, instead of the 'truth'.
Maya : Law plus Chaos, right? *wiggles eyebrow*
Edgeworth : No, Maya. Never again.

"court is now in season" said the judge

Phoenix : Season? Seriously? The judge made the court like a trend or something! "The court is like, totally in season, you know!" or something like that.
Maya : Nick, you totally sound like a teenage girl just now.
Phoenix : Ugh! (That totally strikes my manly bars...)

"thee defense is ready" said phenix

Edgeworth : Thee? As in your defense?
Maya : Oh no! The Judge is the defendant!
Phoenix : I'm pretty sure that's not the case, Maya.

But there was no prosecutor because edgeworth was in prison

Maya : You could've called another prosecutor! Like, you know, there's Franziska! Or Godot, since he has the power to go through walls!
Edgeworth : Franziska is away at the moment, so I wouldn't expect her to show up so suddenly...
*A whip crack could be heard in the distance*
Maya : Did you know about the urban legend? If you say Franziska names three times... *lower her voice ominously* She shall appear in front of you, ready to whip you into submission...
Phoenix : ...I may have heard it just now, but that's the scariest urban legend I've ever heard in my entire life. *Shiver*

"detective gumshoe give us the facts" said the judge

Phoenix : So... Detective Gumshoe was already standing in the stand?
Edgeworth : It is possible.
Phoenix : Dang, that must've been boring.

"okay so all the people at the lake had their heads bitten off and were pulled into the lake according to their autopsies" said gumshoe "except for larry because he was the one who bite their heads off and robert hammond because he was already dead. we will now hav him testify about seeing the murders"

Edgeworth : What.
Phoenix : It seems that the author really likes to bring up people involved in the DL-6 case. There's Manfred Von Karma and now Robert Hammond.
Maya : No one's going to point out Larry bites their heads off?
Phoenix : It's Turnabout Monster, Maya. Maybe he was the monster?
Maya : And... no one's going to point out the fact that Robert Hammond was called to the stand because he was dead?
Edgeworth : I am trying not to gain any more headaches by questioning everything the author writes, Maya.
Maya : Oh, sorry.

so robert hammond took the stand.

Edgeworth : Ngggh. (Curses, I still got one...)
Phoenix : Ha-hang in there, Edgeworth.

"I was just sitting at the bottom of lake from when I got killed." said robret. "suddenly larry burst out of lake and start eating every body"

Phoenix : His body should've been in police custody, though. Why is it there?
Maya : And Larry burst out of the lake! Is he the new Gourdy?

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "larry can't eat people they wouldn't fit in his mouth. rOBERT HAMMOND, THE KILLER WAS YOU!"

Edgeworth : But he was dead. How in the world a dead man could eat another human being? Forget that, how on earth a dead man could even move right now?
Phoenix : Ma-maybe you really should take a break from questioning the fanfiction, Edgeworth.
Edgeworth : I am trying, Wright.

"wtf no" said hammond "I can't eat people either"

Phoenix : Yeah, so who's the monster?

"oh yeah, never mind" said foenix "unlss you were actually a GIANT SEA MONSTER"

Phoenix : How the heck did fic-me even get that conclusion?
Edgeworth : Is it not one of your bluffing 'techniques', Wright?
Phoenix: As great at bluffing as I may be, even I couldn't pull that off.
Maya: But everyone's really dumb in this fic, remember?
Phoenix: True... so maybe I could?
Edgeworth: I'd rather see you fail, honestly. It'd somewhat make up for all the grief we've had thus far... but I know it won't happen.

"oh shit how did you know" said fobert

Maya : Gasp! Mr. Hammond was a monster?!
Edgeworth : Nggh... I knew it.

"I have you now GOURDY" shouted phoenick

Phoenix : Here comes the monster..

and then hammond's disguise exploded and he was actualy GOURDY THE SEA MONSTER

Maya : ...That sounds totally disgusting.
Edgeworth : The disguise... exploded...
Phoenix : The courtroom is gonna be nasty, ew.

then GOURDY smashed open the court rook and started eatin all the people in the court room

Phoenix : What.
Edgeworth : Open the court rook-- what?
Maya : Aaaah! It's GOURDYYY! *keeps moving mouth*
Phoenix : ...Maya, what are you doing?
Maya : What? Isn't that how it went in the old monster movies?

"oh no" said the judge

Edgeworth : Indeed, Your Honor.

and gourdy went on a rampage and started destroying the city

Phoenix : How.
Maya : Plot!
Speakers : The Management would like to remind Maya Fey-
Maya : Shh! It's finally getting interesting!
Speakers : Sigh.

"nick what do we do" asked maya

Maya : Yeah, Nick. What do we do against big monsters?!
Phoenix : Uh... I don't know?
Maya : We call the Steel Samurai, of course!

then phoenix transformed into a GIANT FIGHTING ROBOT

Maya : Well, it's not the Steel Samurai... but Robo-Nick sounds cool too!
Phoenix : Wow. I turned into a giant robot. How?
Edgeworth : It would be best if you keep your questions of the author's intentions to yourself, Wright.
Phoenix : (Oh, right. So you don't have to share my pain, huh? Get real, Edgeworth.)

robo-nick used his jetpacks to fly out of court

Maya : Jet pack?! You had one?! Let me borrow it!
Phoenix : I don't have a jet pack, Maya!
Maya : Phooey. You're no fun.

"HOLD IT" shouted mecha-nick and he punched gourdy in the sea monster stomach

Edgeworth : Your robot counterpart seems to be in character, Wright.
Phoenix : If you mean that whenever I say "hold it!" I go around punching people, then sure, fic-me is in character.

"TAKE THAT" yelled phoenix and he and gourdy started fighting over the city and gourdy was slapping robo-nick with his tail and takin huge bite out of his robot body and robo-nick was shooting rockets and lasers at gourdy

Phoenix : I... am not going to comment on that.
Maya : Go Robo-Nick! Defeat the evil Gourdy! But you're definitely less cool than Steel Samurai, Robo-Nick!
Edgeworth : (...Indeed.)
Phoenix : Can't I find a moment of glory even as a giant robot? (Ouch, that actually stung a bit.)

then robo-nick picked up gourdy and flew to the moon and they started beatin each other up

Maya : Whoooo! Go Robo-Nick!
Edgeworth : Maya, please sit down.
Maya : WHOOOOOO! *flail arms*

"nick" shouted maya "use your SECRET WEAPON"

Phoenix : What secret weapon?
Maya : Ooh! Maybe it's your pointing finger! Like when you said "Objection!"
Edgeworth : That... certainly sounds plausible.

"OBJECTION" said robo-nick and a giant super laser came out of his hand and struck gourdy in the face

Maya : I was right!!
Phoenix : I- you know what, I give up.
Edgeworth : Congratulation for holding on for so long, Wright.
Phoenix : Thanks, Edgeworth.

gourdy roared and fell down unconscious then gumshe handcuffed him and took him to prison

Phoenix : I thought they were in the moon? Did Gumshoe suddenly become an astronaut and get a rocket going and then arrest Gourdy and carry the monster on the rocket? ...That makes no sense at all.
Maya : Let's just imagine Detective Gumshoe had rockets built inside of him and so he flew to the moon and then he dragged Gourdy with him!
Phoenix : .....

"this sucks" said edgeworth cause he had to share a cell with gourdy the sea monster

Edgeworth : *eyebrow twitch* How.
Maya : Ahahahaha!
Phoenix : ...Heh.
Edgeworth : *glare*

THE END

Phoenix : That... was confusing.
Edgeworth : But anything is better than Phoenix Drive, to be honest.
Maya : So, Law plus Chaos is better than Phoenix Drive?
Phoenix : I thought we agreed not to bring up that one.
Edgeworth : Nggh... Maya...
Maya : Sorry, sorry! I'll stop!
Speakers : Now what are you guys doing here, leave now. Or are you planning to stay for another round?
[The three sporkers immediately leave the theater, and brings today's sporking to an end...]

This spork had been corrected three times (I think?) since the first version, so if there's any mistakes, it's fully mine. Thank you for reading and I think I'm gonna need a critic...

Planetbox · Post by **Planetbox** » Mon May 30, 2016 6:25 pm

I'm not actually sporking anything right now, because I have finals and all of that stuff to deal with. Maybe I'll start again sometime over the Summer.

Polly · Post by **Polly** » Tue May 31, 2016 1:49 am

ArrowLawn wrote:Today is a sad day...
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11952824/1 ... on-the-run
Read that summary: "in dis last final phone wright story"
NOOOOOOOOO!

Jakkid will be missed.

@Irebach great sporking,e specially for your first. I couldn't stop laughing.

irebach · Post by **irebach** » Tue May 31, 2016 4:02 am

Polly wrote:
@Irebach great sporking,e specially for your first. I couldn't stop laughing.

Thank you! But seriously, Rubia-senpai helped me a lot. The original spork wasn't that funny tbh

Ana R. · Post by **Ana R.** » Wed Jun 01, 2016 1:46 pm

Been a while since I've sporked something.

Title: larrys childrens story
Rating:

A very short crackfic that's supposed to be written by Larry (DAE larrylawn?). Spelling/grammar, stupid plot, and absolutely not suitable for children.
Author: ~~Larry Butz~~ barrylawn
Original Fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11952808/1 ... rens-story

And now, the sporkers.

(The sporkers are teleported into their seats)

Phoenix: Great. Another sporking adventure with the classic trio.

Edgeworth: Can this wait? I have a lot of work right now.

Speakers: Don't worry, my dears, we're doing a short one today.

Edgeworth: No fic that appears here is "short." Not for us.

Speakers: No, really. You'll be out in about 3 minutes. So don't get too comfortable.

Phoenix: That's 3 minutes too many.

(The lights dim, and the screen lights up.)

Spoiler: larrys childrens story

(The lights turn on)

Speakers: See? What did we tell you? Short and sweet.

Edgeworth: Short, yes, but I swear on my badge, I shall sue anyone who dares sell this to a child!

Phoenix: Not if I get to it first!

Edgeworth: Now, I have work to do. Return me to my office at once!

Speakers: Nah. Walk back. You know the way.

Edgeworth: Curses! You're all cruel!

(They leave the theatre, making sure to investigate every bookshop and library on their way back)

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Post by **Rubia Ryu the Royal** » Wed Jun 01, 2016 8:17 pm

Thank you for the pictures. They really added to the fic.

Trialman · Post by **Trialman** » Thu Jun 02, 2016 6:53 pm

As a new user, I can say that this easily one of the best forum threads ever. I was partially convinced to join CR because of this thread, and have spent the past week binge reading it.

Also, you might want to know that there is now someone following the footsteps of 'DAMON GANT ESCAPS FROM PRISOOOOOOON', this time starring

: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11973739/1 ... rom-Pirson

Ana R. · Post by **Ana R.** » Mon Jun 06, 2016 11:26 pm

So, Jakkid finished Phoenix Wright on the Run, ~~his final work~~ welp never mind hes back.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11952824/1 ... on-the-run
Now, go all the way to chapter 6 and you'll find a dropbox link.
That file contains the secret of jakkid166, but you must solve a puzzle to open it. There's a hint to opening it somewhere in this fic.

I already know the secret.
But I'm not telling yous.
<3

MissAmericanPie · Post by **MissAmericanPie** » Tue Jun 07, 2016 11:19 pm

So I found this fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11974305/1 ... rom-prison
and I want to try it as my first spork, unless somebody else is currently working on it. I'll start it soon, I'm still planning a bit of it

Rubia Ryu the Royal · Tue Jun 07, 2016 11:46 pm

Have fun. So who's doing the Dahlia one again?