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Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
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Built For The Kill

Gender: Male

Location: Massachussetts

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:24 am

Posts: 1559

*After a series of weird vortex portal-ish things, Odoroki and the gang end up... NOT BACK IN THE GS WORLD!!! ZOMFGZ! PLOT EXTENDER-TTEBAYO!*

Odoroki Ugh... My head... That sure was a wild ride, huh, guys? Guys?

*Odoroki looks around to find himself in a strange bedroom.*

Odoroki Where the heck am I?

Older Ema We're in a hotel room.

Odoroki WHOA! Akane-chan! Me... And you... Alone in a hotel room! *Perverted smile*

KA-WHIP!

Older Ema DON'T YOU EVEN DARE GET ANY IDEAS, ODOROKI!!!

Odoroki ... Yes, ma'am... By the way, do you know where the others are?

Older Ema I've been trying to find that out myself, actually. From what I've gathered, we're in a run-down hotel called the "Hotel Dusk"... And it's nowhere near the city where we all live. Thanks a lot for breaking that jewel "Odoroken", you jerk!

Odoroki Your words... They hurt me, Akane-chan!

*Elsewhere, in the kitchen...*

Kyouya Oww... Kyouya disapproves of travelling great distances in a giant blender! *GRRROOOWWL* Damn it, I'm so hungry...

*Kyouya spots a bottle on the counter.*

Kyouya Hmm? What's this? Looks like juice... I'm not really thirsty... AH, DARN IT!!! COME HERE, CACTUS JUICE!!! *Kyouya gulps a whole bottle of cactus juice.* Ah... That was... quenching.

Minuki Oh! Kyouya-kun! You're awake!

Kyouya Oh, hi, Minuki! Have you seen--

*Kyouya's pupils suddenly become smaller.*

Minuki Kyouya-kun? ... You okay?

Kyouya CACTUS JUICE!!! IT'LL QUENCH YA!!! NOTHING'S QUENCHIER!!! IT'S THE QUENCHIEST!!! Hic hic hic...

Minuki Oh, dear...

*Meanwhile, in Room 215...*

Hobohodo Oww... Looks like I fell on something hard. Lucky my beanie cushioned my fall.

*Mumbling starts to come from under Hobohodo's butt.*

Hobohodo WHAT THE HELL?!

Edgeworth Can't... breathe... Inhaled... Massive amounts of... Hobo fart...

Ack AHHH!!! MITSURUGI?! WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Edgeworth Split... jewel... Odoroki dude... Wrong portal... Can't... continue... speaking... because of... hobo fart...

Hobohodo Damn it, Mitsurugi! I wish you'd stop that seizure right now!

*Suddenly, Mitsurugi's seizure DOES stop.*

Hobohodo Whoa... My wish came true...

Kyle Hyde You're not from here, are you?

Edgeworth Huh?

Kyle Hyde That's what happens when you're in this room, "Wish Room".

Hobohodo & Edgeworth Who are you?

Kyle Hyde My name is Hyde, Kyle Hyde. I'm here to solve the mystery surrounding Hotel Dusk. I'm also looking for my ex-partner, Brian Bradley...

*In an old basement somewhere...*

Garyuu Huh? Since when did Garyuu and Co. Law Offices look like this? Where the hell is Mitsurugi? *Kirihito spots something.* Huh? What the... It's a painting of an angel... An angel opening a door! Oh, I have GOT to get this for my room! It's so cool-looking!

*Kirihito prepares to "borrow" the painting.*

Minuki *Bursts into the room dragging Kyouya.* KIRIHITO-KUN!!!

Garyuu Ack! What the? Minuki? What's going on?

Kyouya Hic hic hic...

Minuki Kyouya-kun and I fell onto a hard kitchen floor! Kyouya-kun fainted, and I went arround looking for help. When I came back, Kyouya-kun was acting all looney! Then I found this empty bottle next to him!

Garyuu "Cactus Juice"... Oh, no!

Minuki What is it?

Garyuu This is... this is... a hallucinogen! Kyouya's going to be under its influence for the next six hours! We need to keep him away from other people or he'll do unthinkably stupid things to them!

Minuki Are you serious?

Kyouya Hey... Who lit my brother on fire? Hic hic hic...

*Back at the "Wish Room"...*

Kyle Hyde So, anyways, I've been spending most of my time here questioning the other guests about this room. So far, everything's ambiguous. I'm supposed to uncover the mystery of what happened with Dunning by now, but I just don't know what's wrong. Why am I not progressing?

Edgeworth No offense, but, how do you expect us to know that?

Kyle Hyde Not you, per sé, but someone I've seen fall out of a portal with you.

Hobohodo Hmm, really? Who?

Kyle Hyde That guy who looks like a Pokémon. He has a bracelet, see... And it resembles the bracelet that my partner used to wear--

Edgeworth Oh, come on! That shabby old Minuku Bracelet looks nothing like what Brian or Mila wear--

Hobohodo *Silences Mitsurugi* Shut up! This guy might know how to get us back home!

Edgeworth But...

Hobohodo Listen here, emo boy... Say even one word that could lose us this guy's focus, and I'll make sure you inhale a certain--

Edgeworth Alright, alright!

Kyle Hyde Am I interrupting anything...?

Edgy No, not at all! Please, continue!

Kyle Hyde Anyway... That guy... If you could get him to talk to me about that bracelet, then perhaps I might know how to get you guys to the year 2025.

Hobohodo Deal! I'm betting my wife and kids on this one!

Edgeworth *Sigh* Only a pinhead like him would bet his lifetime partner and children *Snaps fingers* just like that.

*Back to where Odoroki and Akane were... Don't worry, there ain't nothing explicit.*

Older Ema Phones here don't seem to work.

Odoroki Akane-chan...

Older Ema *Sigh* For the last friggen time, Odoroki! I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE-OUT WITH YOU!

Odoroki That's perfectly fine, baby. Just untie me already!

Older Ema No way, Housuke.

Odoroki *Moan* What did I do to deserve this?

Minuki *Breaks door* ODOROKI-KUN!!!

Odoroki Minuki! Quick! Use your magic to untie me!

KA-WHIP!

Older Ema ...

Odoroki Psy-ai-ai-ai...

Minuki ODOROKI-KUN! Something really bad has happened! Kyouya-kun drank cactus juice! Now he's all looney and loopy like a loop-dee-doop and pull shoelace!

Kyouya *Looks at Odoroki* IT'S A GIANT BUNNY!!! MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!!! GIANT BUNNY! BUNNY WABBIT FRIEND!!!

Minuki See what I mean?

Hobohodo Edgeworth Kyle Hyde *Enter room* Aha! There you are!

Odoroki Huh?

Kyle Hyde You, Combusken boy... I need you to answer a few questions for me.

Older Ema You stay right where you are, mister!

Minuki Odoroki-kun! Please help!

Kyouya Hic hic hic... Waterbending LOL...

Hobohodo You talk to Kyle first, Odoroki!

Odoroki Too many people talking... Head going owie... Hair spikes... going limp...

Garyuu You know, I don't even know why I'm supposed to be here since I found a lovely painting downstairs...

Kyle Hyde !!! Did you just say that you found a painting? Is it an angel opening a door?

Garyuu Yes...

Kyle Hyde Take me to where you found it, now!

Garyuu Okay, okay. I will take you there.

Kyouya HEY! That's my line! Hic hic hic...

... TO BE CONTINUED.
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I do not tolerate bullies. Good day.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Judge Hobohodo

Gender: None specified

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:45 pm

Posts: 150

YingGirl wrote:
Pig Marshall Seek out for the truth, your brother depends on it.


I'm a pig, but I have no brother... wait... is the truth... I do have a brother?!

--------------------

Odoroki : This funnies topic needs to have some hot sex between us.
Odoroki : I know we're so different.
Odoroki : And it's strange because people frown upon gays...
Odoroki : Frown a lot.
Odoroki : But...
Odoroki : I think we should do this hot sex thing...
Odoroki : Why?
Odoroki : Because...
Odoroki : ...
Odoroki : We're not gay.
Odoroki : And you ain't a guy.
Older Ema : Right!
Older Ema : ...
Odoroki : You aren't a guy... right?
Older Ema : No...
Odoroki : Oh. Good, then.
Odoroki : Then let's do this perfectly heterosexual sex thing.
Older Ema : Um.
Odoroki : That better have been "yum"... but it was probably an "um, I actually am a guy, a gay guy"
Older Ema : How did you know?!
Odoroki : Because... I HAVE A BRACELET THAT LETS ME SEE SMALL MOTIONS AND STUFF!!
Older Ema : ...girly...
Older Ema : Girly bracelet?
Older Ema : ...
Older Ema : Hey... does that mean you are gay?
Older Ema : Yay, that means I don't have to feel guilty about tricking a non-gay guy into having sex with a guy!

...yeah, it sucks. But my aim was to make a funny which can make it look like Older Ema is in fact a gay guy, and that Odoroki is also gay. I think it worked Bell Boy...
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Judge Hobohodo - Every Sunday, 9.00pm GMT - Only on Gatewater 4.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Queen Of The Mods

Gender: Female

Location: England, the land of scones and Doctor Who.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:54 pm

Posts: 836

Orcaizer Al wrote:
*After a series of weird vortex portal-ish things, Odoroki and the gang end up... NOT BACK IN THE GS WORLD!!! ZOMFGZ! PLOT EXTENDER-TTEBAYO!*

Odoroki Ugh... My head... That sure was a wild ride, huh, guys? Guys?

*Odoroki looks around to find himself in a strange bedroom.*

Odoroki Where the heck am I?

Older Ema We're in a hotel room.

Odoroki WHOA! Akane-chan! Me... And you... Alone in a hotel room! *Perverted smile*

KA-WHIP!

Older Ema DON'T YOU EVEN DARE GET ANY IDEAS, ODOROKI!!!

Odoroki ... Yes, ma'am... By the way, do you know where the others are?

Older Ema I've been trying to find that out myself, actually. From what I've gathered, we're in a run-down hotel called the "Hotel Dusk"... And it's nowhere near the city where we all live. Thanks a lot for breaking that jewel "Odoroken", you jerk!

Odoroki Your words... They hurt me, Akane-chan!

*Elsewhere, in the kitchen...*

Kyouya Oww... Kyouya disapproves of travelling great distances in a giant blender! *GRRROOOWWL* Damn it, I'm so hungry...

*Kyouya spots a bottle on the counter.*

Kyouya Hmm? What's this? Looks like juice... I'm not really thirsty... AH, DARN IT!!! COME HERE, CACTUS JUICE!!! *Kyouya gulps a whole bottle of cactus juice.* Ah... That was... quenching.

Minuki Oh! Kyouya-kun! You're awake!

Kyouya Oh, hi, Minuki! Have you seen--

*Kyouya's pupils suddenly become smaller.*

Minuki Kyouya-kun? ... You okay?

Kyouya CACTUS JUICE!!! IT'LL QUENCH YA!!! NOTHING'S QUENCHIER!!! IT'S THE QUENCHIEST!!! Hic hic hic...

Minuki Oh, dear...

*Meanwhile, in Room 215...*

Hobohodo Oww... Looks like I fell on something hard. Lucky my beanie cushioned my fall.

*Mumbling starts to come from under Hobohodo's butt.*

Hobohodo WHAT THE HELL?!

Edgeworth Can't... breathe... Inhaled... Massive amounts of... Hobo fart...

Ack AHHH!!! MITSURUGI?! WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Edgeworth Split... jewel... Odoroki dude... Wrong portal... Can't... continue... speaking... because of... hobo fart...

Hobohodo Damn it, Mitsurugi! I wish you'd stop that seizure right now!

*Suddenly, Mitsurugi's seizure DOES stop.*

Hobohodo Whoa... My wish came true...

Kyle Hyde You're not from here, are you?

Edgeworth Huh?

Kyle Hyde That's what happens when you're in this room, "Wish Room".

Hobohodo & Edgeworth Who are you?

Kyle Hyde My name is Hyde, Kyle Hyde. I'm here to solve the mystery surrounding Hotel Dusk. I'm also looking for my ex-partner, Brian Bradley...

*In an old basement somewhere...*

Garyuu Huh? Since when did Garyuu and Co. Law Offices look like this? Where the hell is Mitsurugi? *Kirihito spots something.* Huh? What the... It's a painting of an angel... An angel opening a door! Oh, I have GOT to get this for my room! It's so cool-looking!

*Kirihito prepares to "borrow" the painting.*

Minuki *Bursts into the room dragging Kyouya.* KIRIHITO-KUN!!!

Garyuu Ack! What the? Minuki? What's going on?

Kyouya Hic hic hic...

Minuki Kyouya-kun and I fell onto a hard kitchen floor! Kyouya-kun fainted, and I went arround looking for help. When I came back, Kyouya-kun was acting all looney! Then I found this empty bottle next to him!

Garyuu "Cactus Juice"... Oh, no!

Minuki What is it?

Garyuu This is... this is... a hallucinogen! Kyouya's going to be under its influence for the next six hours! We need to keep him away from other people or he'll do unthinkably stupid things to them!

Minuki Are you serious?

Kyouya Hey... Who lit my brother on fire? Hic hic hic...

*Back at the "Wish Room"...*

Kyle Hyde So, anyways, I've been spending most of my time here questioning the other guests about this room. So far, everything's ambiguous. I'm supposed to uncover the mystery of what happened with Dunning by now, but I just don't know what's wrong. Why am I not progressing?

Edgeworth No offense, but, how do you expect us to know that?

Kyle Hyde Not you, per sé, but someone I've seen fall out of a portal with you.

Hobohodo Hmm, really? Who?

Kyle Hyde That guy who looks like a Pokémon. He has a bracelet, see... And it resembles the bracelet that my partner used to wear--

Edgeworth Oh, come on! That shabby old Minuku Bracelet looks nothing like what Brian or Mila wear--

Hobohodo *Silences Mitsurugi* Shut up! This guy might know how to get us back home!

Edgeworth But...

Hobohodo Listen here, emo boy... Say even one word that could lose us this guy's focus, and I'll make sure you inhale a certain--

Edgeworth Alright, alright!

Kyle Hyde Am I interrupting anything...?

Edgy No, not at all! Please, continue!

Kyle Hyde Anyway... That guy... If you could get him to talk to me about that bracelet, then perhaps I might know how to get you guys to the year 2025.

Hobohodo Deal! I'm betting my wife and kids on this one!

Edgeworth *Sigh* Only a pinhead like him would bet his lifetime partner and children *Snaps fingers* just like that.

*Back to where Odoroki and Akane were... Don't worry, there ain't nothing explicit.*

Older Ema Phones here don't seem to work.

Odoroki Akane-chan...

Older Ema *Sigh* For the last friggen time, Odoroki! I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE-OUT WITH YOU!

Odoroki That's perfectly fine, baby. Just untie me already!

Older Ema No way, Housuke.

Odoroki *Moan* What did I do to deserve this?

Minuki *Breaks door* ODOROKI-KUN!!!

Odoroki Minuki! Quick! Use your magic to untie me!

KA-WHIP!

Older Ema ...

Odoroki Psy-ai-ai-ai...

Minuki ODOROKI-KUN! Something really bad has happened! Kyouya-kun drank cactus juice! Now he's all looney and loopy like a loop-dee-doop and pull shoelace!

Kyouya *Looks at Odoroki* IT'S A GIANT BUNNY!!! MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!!! GIANT BUNNY! BUNNY WABBIT FRIEND!!!

Minuki See what I mean?

Hobohodo Edgeworth Kyle Hyde *Enter room* Aha! There you are!

Odoroki Huh?

Kyle Hyde You, Combusken boy... I need you to answer a few questions for me.

Older Ema You stay right where you are, mister!

Minuki Odoroki-kun! Please help!

Kyouya Hic hic hic... Waterbending LOL...

Hobohodo You talk to Kyle first, Odoroki!

Odoroki Too many people talking... Head going owie... Hair spikes... going limp...

Garyuu You know, I don't even know why I'm supposed to be here since I found a lovely painting downstairs...

Kyle Hyde !!! Did you just say that you found a painting? Is it an angel opening a door?

Garyuu Yes...

Kyle Hyde Take me to where you found it, now!

Garyuu Okay, okay. I will take you there.

Kyouya HEY! That's my line! Hic hic hic...

... TO BE CONTINUED.

Yay! That is TEH AWESOME! And also full of LOL's! THANK YOU very much, you have made my day. Hell, you've made my week with that. Edgy
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Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Struck by a blunt objection

Gender: Male

Location: Denmark

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Sun Feb 25, 2007 5:12 pm

Posts: 1472

Orcaizer Al wrote:
Older Ema No way, Housuke.


Best line Von Karma
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Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Gender: Male

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:23 pm

Posts: 43

A Phoenix Wright Christmas Carol (With apologies to LittleKuriboh)

Hobohodo : Hey everybody, Christmas is just around the corner. And what better way to celebrate the festive season than by trying people for murder. After all, that's what Christmas is all about.

Pearl : I thought it was about Jesus!

Hobohodo : Oh, Pearls, you say the darndest things. Anyway, without further ado, I'd like to present you all with "A Phoenix Wright Christmas Carol". Merry Christmas, everyone, and a Not Guilty New Year.

Matt : Wait, it's not even close to Christmas, dude...

Hobohodo : ...Let's just cut to the titles.

Title cards appear and "Deck the Halls" plays:

KAYUBE PRESENTS

AN OLBIGATORY CLICHÉD CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

A PHOENIX WRIGHT CHRISTMAS CAROL

STARRING MILES EDGEWORTH

BASED ON A NOVEL BY CHARLES DICKENS

Criminal Affairs Dept.

Edgeworth : Since it's almost Christmas, the murder rate is off the charts. Everyone wants to have their own cool "Merry Christmas" opening scene like in Case 4 of PW1. So I'm going to have to ask you all to work overtime this year. ...And by "you all", I mean you, Detective.

Detective Gumshoe : But what about my childhood acquaintances I was going to go see?

Edgeworth : I don't have any childhood acquaintances. You don't see me complaining.

Larry : You tell 'em, Miles!

Edgeworth : Shut up, Larry.

Sadshoe : But it's the Yule-tide season!

Edgy Thinks : Screw the Yules, I have a cravat!

Edgeworth's Home (Wherever that is!)

Hobohodo : (voiceover) Later that night, when Edgeworth was fast asleep, he was awoken by an unexpected visitor.

Edgeworth : Who the hell are you?

Judge : ORDER! ORDER! My beard is haunting you!

Edgeworth : Are you a ghost?

Judge : Yes!

Edgeworth : But I don't believe in ghosts.

Judge : Then maybe you'll believe in this!

...

Edgeworth : In what?

Judge : Didn't I just turn invisible?

Edgeworth : No..

Judge : Are you sure?

Edgeworth : Positive.

Judge : You're lying!

Edgeworth : Look, you're standing right in front of me, okay?

Judge : That's odd, it usually works.

Edgeworth : Uhuh.

Judge : It's very scary.

Edgeworth : Right.

Judge : Maybe if I had some chains-

Edgeworth : Did you want something or not?

Judge : Oh yeah. ORDER! ORDER! Tonight you will be visited by three spirits.

Edgeworth : Does that include you?

Judge : Huh?

Edgeworth : Are you one of the three spirits?

Judge : No!

Edgeworth : Then kindly get the **** out of my home.

Hobohodo : (voiceover) Later that night, the first spirit arrived.

OBJECT! : Eeeeeedgewoooooorrrrrth... waaaaaake uuuuuup...

Edgeworth : Hey Wright. Are you here to have an epic courtroom battle or something?

OBJECT! : Noooooo, I would juuuuuuust kiiiiiick your buuuuuuutt....

Edgeworth : Why are you talking like that?

OBJECT! : Iiii am the Ghooooost of Chriiistmaaas Paaast. I'm heeeere to shooow yooou-

Edgeworth : Stop talking like that!

Phoenix : Kay. I'm here to show you what Christmas was like for Chibi Edgeworth, many years ago. Take that

Flashback

Young Larry : Look Miles, I'm baking you a cake shaped like the King of Prosecutors Trophy!

Young Edgeworth : Careful Larry, don't you remember what happened the last time?

Young Larry : Oh don't worry I'm sure it'll be fine. (Young Larry starts to be smothered by a melting trophy) Oh my god it happened again!

Young Edgeworth : Larry! Noo! You forgot to preheat the oven, you dumb bastard!

Young Butz : It burns! I'm getting fudge in my eye sockets! Help me Miles!

Young Edgeworth : Christmas is ruined!

End flashback

OBJECT! : There, you see?

Edgeworth : And what the hell was that supposed to teach me?

Phoenix : What, you don't know?

Edgeworth : No. Enlighten me.

Nick : Look, if you don't know, then I'm not telling you.

Edgeworth : Get the hell out of my bedroom!

Nick : Yeah, that's what she said-

Edgeworth : Get out!

Hobohodo : (voiceover) Later that night, the second spirit arrived on the scene.

Enguard : Greetings, Mind Slave.

Edgeworth : Who the hell are you?

Enguard : I'm Matt Engarde. Don't you recognize me from your nightmares?

Edgeworth : No.

Enguard : Oh, don't be like that, Binky Boy. I'm your friend, Come over here and let me cut you. I mean hug you. Hugging is what I meant.

Edgeworth : I'm not a very hug-ey person.

Enguard : Whatever you say, Mind Slave. I am controlling your brain. Even as we speak, the cosmic forces are-

Edgeworth : Can we just get this over with?

Enguard : Sure. Here is what Christmas was like for you, last year. Binky Boy.

Flashback

Larry : Look Miles! The "Von Karma and Pals" Christmas Special is on TV!

On TV

Von Karma : Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, everyone!

Canned Laughter

Von Karma : Now to convict the innocent!

Applause and cheers

Gant : Von Karma bless us, every one.

end TV

Edgeworth : I don't have time to watch that, Larry. I'm very busy.

Larry : Okay.

Edgeworth types and types and types and types. The phone rings, and he picks it up, but puts it down instantly and continues to type and type and type..

Edgeworth ...You don't live here, Larry.

End flashback

Enguard : There! You have beared witness to the undeniable truth. Now do you comprehend, Mind Slave?

Edgeworth : I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to-

Enguard : Do you comprehend?

Edgeworth : If I say "yes", will you go away?

Enguard : I shall.

Edgeworth : Then yes, I understand completely.

Enguard : Good.

Edgeworth : Aren't you going to leave?

Enguard : I am inside your brain.

Edgeworth : That's nice.

Enguard : Forever!

Edgeworth : I'm.. gonna go back to sleep now.

Enguard : Binky Boy!

Hobohodo : (voiceover) Later that night, the third and final spirit arrived to show Edgeworth the true meaning of Christmas.

Gant : Hello there, Edgey!

Edgeworth : Aren't you that annoying chief of police that got sent to prison in that one case that I've since denied ever happened? What the hell do you want?

Gant : I'm here to scare you into believing whatever I tell you, forcing you to drastically change your character at the last minute. Watch and learn, my dear Edgey. This is what Christmas will be like in the future.

*Cue music from GS4*

Edgeworth : What the ****?

Odoroki : Okay Kyouya, it's time to get your case on!

Edgeworth : No! That's not what you're supposed to say! You're meant to say "It's time to duel... in court"!

Odoroki : I'm gonna throw down a piece of evidence!

Edgeworth : This is horrifying!

Gant : You don't know the half of it!

Edgeworth : But where the hell am I? Am I dead?

Gant : No, but you only appear in a cameo appearance in the middle of Case 5! That's right Edgey, you get even less screen time than me!

Edgeworth : No! This can't be real! I won't let it be real! I'll change, I'll change!

Criminal Affairs Dept.

Hobohodo : (voiceover) The following day, Edgeworth made a suprising announcement.

Edgeworth : I have an apology to make. It was wrong of me to force you all to work over the Christmas period.

Detective Gumshoe : Sir, you really mean it?

Edgeworth : Yes. Instead I've decided to fire all of you. Happy Hannukah!

The End.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
User avatar

Gavin Texas Ranger

Gender: None specified

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:12 pm

Posts: 216

Kayube wrote:
A Phoenix Wright Christmas Carol (With apologies to LittleKuriboh)

Hobohodo : Hey everybody, Christmas is just around the corner. And what better way to celebrate the festive season than by trying people for murder. After all, that's what Christmas is all about.

Pearl : I thought it was about Jesus!

Hobohodo : Oh, Pearls, you say the darndest things. Anyway, without further ado, I'd like to present you all with "A Phoenix Wright Christmas Carol". Merry Christmas, everyone, and a Not Guilty New Year.

Matt : Wait, it's not even close to Christmas, dude...

Hobohodo : ...Let's just cut to the titles.

Title cards appear and "Deck the Halls" plays:

KAYUBE PRESENTS

AN OLBIGATORY CLICHÉD CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

A PHOENIX WRIGHT CHRISTMAS CAROL

STARRING MILES EDGEWORTH

BASED ON A NOVEL BY CHARLES DICKENS

Criminal Affairs Dept.

Edgeworth : Since it's almost Christmas, the murder rate is off the charts. Everyone wants to have their own cool "Merry Christmas" opening scene like in Case 4 of PW1. So I'm going to have to ask you all to work overtime this year. ...And by "you all", I mean you, Detective.

Detective Gumshoe : But what about my childhood acquaintances I was going to go see?

Edgeworth : I don't have any childhood acquaintances. You don't see me complaining.

Larry : You tell 'em, Miles!

Edgeworth : Shut up, Larry.

Sadshoe : But it's the Yule-tide season!

Edgy Thinks : Screw the Yules, I have a cravat!

Edgeworth's Home (Wherever that is!)

Hobohodo : (voiceover) Later that night, when Edgeworth was fast asleep, he was awoken by an unexpected visitor.

Edgeworth : Who the hell are you?

Judge : ORDER! ORDER! My beard is haunting you!

Edgeworth : Are you a ghost?

Judge : Yes!

Edgeworth : But I don't believe in ghosts.

Judge : Then maybe you'll believe in this!

...

Edgeworth : In what?

Judge : Didn't I just turn invisible?

Edgeworth : No..

Judge : Are you sure?

Edgeworth : Positive.

Judge : You're lying!

Edgeworth : Look, you're standing right in front of me, okay?

Judge : That's odd, it usually works.

Edgeworth : Uhuh.

Judge : It's very scary.

Edgeworth : Right.

Judge : Maybe if I had some chains-

Edgeworth : Did you want something or not?

Judge : Oh yeah. ORDER! ORDER! Tonight you will be visited by three spirits.

Edgeworth : Does that include you?

Judge : Huh?

Edgeworth : Are you one of the three spirits?

Judge : No!

Edgeworth : Then kindly get the **** out of my home.

Hobohodo : (voiceover) Later that night, the first spirit arrived.

OBJECT! : Eeeeeedgewoooooorrrrrth... waaaaaake uuuuuup...

Edgeworth : Hey Wright. Are you here to have an epic courtroom battle or something?

OBJECT! : Noooooo, I would juuuuuuust kiiiiiick your buuuuuuutt....

Edgeworth : Why are you talking like that?

OBJECT! : Iiii am the Ghooooost of Chriiistmaaas Paaast. I'm heeeere to shooow yooou-

Edgeworth : Stop talking like that!

Phoenix : Kay. I'm here to show you what Christmas was like for Chibi Edgeworth, many years ago. Take that

Flashback

Young Larry : Look Miles, I'm baking you a cake shaped like the King of Prosecutors Trophy!

Young Edgeworth : Careful Larry, don't you remember what happened the last time?

Young Larry : Oh don't worry I'm sure it'll be fine. (Young Larry starts to be smothered by a melting trophy) Oh my god it happened again!

Young Edgeworth : Larry! Noo! You forgot to preheat the oven, you dumb bastard!

Young Butz : It burns! I'm getting fudge in my eye sockets! Help me Miles!

Young Edgeworth : Christmas is ruined!

End flashback

OBJECT! : There, you see?

Edgeworth : And what the hell was that supposed to teach me?

Phoenix : What, you don't know?

Edgeworth : No. Enlighten me.

Nick : Look, if you don't know, then I'm not telling you.

Edgeworth : Get the hell out of my bedroom!

Nick : Yeah, that's what she said-

Edgeworth : Get out!

Hobohodo : (voiceover) Later that night, the second spirit arrived on the scene.

Enguard : Greetings, Mind Slave.

Edgeworth : Who the hell are you?

Enguard : I'm Matt Engarde. Don't you recognize me from your nightmares?

Edgeworth : No.

Enguard : Oh, don't be like that, Binky Boy. I'm your friend, Come over here and let me cut you. I mean hug you. Hugging is what I meant.

Edgeworth : I'm not a very hug-ey person.

Enguard : Whatever you say, Mind Slave. I am controlling your brain. Even as we speak, the cosmic forces are-

Edgeworth : Can we just get this over with?

Enguard : Sure. Here is what Christmas was like for you, last year. Binky Boy.

Flashback

Larry : Look Miles! The "Von Karma and Pals" Christmas Special is on TV!

On TV

Von Karma : Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, everyone!

Canned Laughter

Von Karma : Now to convict the innocent!

Applause and cheers

Gant : Von Karma bless us, every one.

end TV

Edgeworth : I don't have time to watch that, Larry. I'm very busy.

Larry : Okay.

Edgeworth types and types and types and types. The phone rings, and he picks it up, but puts it down instantly and continues to type and type and type..

Edgeworth ...You don't live here, Larry.

End flashback

Enguard : There! You have beared witness to the undeniable truth. Now do you comprehend, Mind Slave?

Edgeworth : I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to-

Enguard : Do you comprehend?

Edgeworth : If I say "yes", will you go away?

Enguard : I shall.

Edgeworth : Then yes, I understand completely.

Enguard : Good.

Edgeworth : Aren't you going to leave?

Enguard : I am inside your brain.

Edgeworth : That's nice.

Enguard : Forever!

Edgeworth : I'm.. gonna go back to sleep now.

Enguard : Binky Boy!

Hobohodo : (voiceover) Later that night, the third and final spirit arrived to show Edgeworth the true meaning of Christmas.

Gant : Hello there, Edgey!

Edgeworth : Aren't you that annoying chief of police that got sent to prison in that one case that I've since denied ever happened? What the hell do you want?

Gant : I'm here to scare you into believing whatever I tell you, forcing you to drastically change your character at the last minute. Watch and learn, my dear Edgey. This is what Christmas will be like in the future.

*Cue music from GS4*

Edgeworth : What the ****?

Odoroki : Okay Kyouya, it's time to get your case on!

Edgeworth : No! That's not what you're supposed to say! You're meant to say "It's time to duel... in court"!

Odoroki : I'm gonna throw down a piece of evidence!

Edgeworth : This is horrifying!

Gant : You don't know the half of it!

Edgeworth : But where the hell am I? Am I dead?

Gant : No, but you only appear in a cameo appearance in the middle of Case 5! That's right Edgey, you get even less screen time than me!

Edgeworth : No! This can't be real! I won't let it be real! I'll change, I'll change!

Criminal Affairs Dept.

Hobohodo : (voiceover) The following day, Edgeworth made a suprising announcement.

Edgeworth : I have an apology to make. It was wrong of me to force you all to work over the Christmas period.

Detective Gumshoe : Sir, you really mean it?

Edgeworth : Yes. Instead I've decided to fire all of you. Happy Hannukah!

The End.

Hold it!

I believe that I'm the one who first introduced Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged series jokes to the funnies thread back at the old forum.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Sailor Senshi

Gender: None specified

Location: Montreal, QC

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:28 am

Posts: 25

Spoiler: The DL-6 Incident
Maya Fey You know Nick, the Netherlands are bordered to Germany.
Phoenix And this interests me...WHY?
Maya Fey Well, think about it. The captial of Amsterdam has legalized marijuana. Maybe the von Karmas were famous because of other activities.
Nick You don't say...

ELEVATOR
Young Edgeworth Dad, I'm scared.
Gregory Not to worry, *pulls out a joint* Here, this will help us relax.
Young Edgeworth Dad, what is that?
Gregory Something you should never try, son. *smokes it and then passes the joint to Young Yanni Yogi*
Young Yanni Yogi *takes the joint and smokes* Oh yeah, that's the stuff. I wonder who's your supplier.
Gregory I raither leave him unmention.

**AN HOUR LATER**
Young Yanni Yogi GIMMIE MORE, DAMN IT! GIMMIE!!!
Gregory Now Yogi, calm down.
Young Yanni Yogi I'll KILL YOU! *attacks Gregory Gun falls down as the two of them fight*
Gregory URK!
Young Edgeworth STOP IT!!! *grabs the gun and throws it at the two of them**
**BANG!**
Von Karma Uuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
**Young Yanni Yogi Gregory Young Edgeworth collaspes**
Von Karma *enters the elevators, holding his bleeding arms* Son of a... *picks up the gun* Karma's going cap me a b*tch! You don't pay on time, you die on time!
** Von Karma shoots Gregory **

Nick You know Maya, logically, that would make some sense.

Image
C'est la vie, watashi ga watashi de iru kagiri. C'est la vie, anata o aishi tsudzuketai. C'est la vie, watashi ga watashi de aru riyuu. C'est la vie, anata ga anata de aru riyuu
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

OMG! My NAILS!!!

Gender: None specified

Location: Somewere over the Rainbow...

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 2:36 am

Posts: 89

Orcaizer Al wrote:
*
Kyouya *Looks at Odoroki* IT'S A GIANT BUNNY!!! MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!!! GIANT BUNNY! BUNNY WABBIT FRIEND!!!
Minuki See what I mean?



Garyuu Okay, okay. I will take you there.

Kyouya HEY! That's my line! Hic hic hic...


LMAO! I laughed at the whole thing, but these appeared to stand out. You are brilliant!
Living, In a material world, and I AM I MATERIAL GIRL!!!
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
User avatar

Built For The Kill

Gender: Male

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Posts: 1559

*Kyle, Kirihito, Mitsurugi, Hobohodo, Akane, Minuki, and Kyouya all go down the stairs to the room where Kirihito found the "Angel Opening A Door" painting... Odoroki's still tied up in the hotel room, alone this time.*

Odoroki Grr... I have to get untied! Damn it! I don't have much energy left, but here goes...

Odoroki ODOROKI TRANSFORM!!!

Image ODOROKEN AERIAL ACE!

*Odoroken unties himself.*

Image Alright! Now to change back and meet up with the others... Odoroki Transform!

*Nothing happens.*

Image I said "Odoroki Transform"!!!

*Nothing happens.*

Image (Oh, no... I'm stuck in this Combusken body! I better not get spotted wandering the hotel lest I give the guests a heart attack!)

*In the dark, old room with the "Angel Opening A Door" painting...*

Garyuu *Points to the painting* Well, there it is...

Kyle Hyde Finally... After all these clues Brian's been leaving behind... I can get the answers I've been looking for!

Edgeworth But I thought you wanted to talk about Odoroki's brace--

Hobohodo *Elbows Mitsurugi in the stomach* SHH!!! Damn it, Mitsurugi, just because you've played this game twice as much as I have doesn't mean you can just say whatever you want to the person who's *cough*gonna get us back home*cough* so shut your trap for a while, okay?

Edgeworth ... Oww... Meanie...

Kyle Hyde *Looks at painting* I finally get to solve the mystery! Nothing can stop me now!

Garyuu So... Kyle, what exactly is so important about this painting?

Older Ema Hmm, yeah, I've been wondering the same thing, scientifically speaking.

Minuki Go on, Mr. Hyde! Tell us! You've almost beaten the game, anyway!

Kyle Hyde Well, besides getting the Good Ending for the game, I'll--

Image *Bursts into room being followed by Dunning... Holding a chicken net* HELP!!! AKANE-CHAN!!! SAVE ME FROM KENNY ROGER'S ROASTERS!!!

Older Ema *Slaps forehead* Oh lord, this can't be happening.

Kyle Hyde What the? Combusken boy? Dunning?

Dunning: You stupid chicken! NO ANIMALS ALLOWED!!!

Kyle Hyde Calm down! It's just a...

Dunning: *Points to Kyle* ... IT WAS YOU! YOU BROUGHT THAT CHICKEN IN! And after I told you that I didn't want any police intervention, too...

Kyle Hyde Huh, what? I didn't do anything, honest!

Minuki Uh, quick question. Exactly what does a chicken in a hotel have to do with the police--?

Kyouya Yep, I like chicken, LOL. Hic hic hic...

Dunning: That does it. You are out of here!

Kyle Hyde But... But... I didn't do anything wrong!

Garyuu Yeah! It was me who found that "Angel Opening A Door" painting, not Kyle!

Kyle Hyde Image Edgeworth Hobohodo Minuki Older Ema ...

Kyouya Game over, LOL. Hic hic hic...

Dunning: My painting... It's been quite a while, too. I didn't think I'd remember Osterzone and The Nile again. And... OMG, you got grease all over it!!!

Garyuu Oh, snap.

Dunning: I have had it! All of you! Get out of my hotel right now!

Kyle Hyde WHAT? But, but...

Dunning: NO BUTS! You've already annoyed the guests here with you snooping! I'm afraid I cannot allow this to continue. I warned you earlier about this... Get out.

Kyle Hyde "Get out"?

Dunning: Yes, get out.

Kyle Hyde You mean, like a "Game Over"?

Dunning: Oh, sorry. Maybe this will make things clearer.

GAME OVER

*Dunning exits the room.*

Hobohodo Well, this sure is an interesting turn of events.

Edgy Ha ha ha.

Hobohodo What's so funny?

Edgy Well, the guy who could get us back home's gotten a "Game Over". And now... we're back to square one and have absolutely no idea how to get back to our world! Isn't that hilarious? Aha! Aha! Aha!

Hobohodo Kyle Hyde Older Ema Minuki Kyouya Garyuu ...

Image Frankly, I don't even think Pokémon should laugh at that.

Kyle Hyde *Sigh* It's over... I didn't solve the mystery. The "miracle" never happen.

Hobohodo Now where have I heard that before...?

Kyle Hyde Sorry, but I'm afraid I can't help you return to the year 2025 since I, well, you know, have to start all over again.

Older Ema Do you at least have any information as to how we can get back?

Kyle Hyde Hmm... Well, actually, when Martin Summer asked me to look for a bookmark with an angel print on it, I came across this weird-looking stone. Of course I didn't give it much thought since it looked like rock candy...

Minuki Wait! Did you just say... "Rock candy"?

Kyle Hyde Yes... Why?

Older Ema Wait a minute...

*FLASHBACK*

Minuki Really? WOW! I FOUND THE IMPORTANT JEWEL!!! Go Minuki! Go Minuki! It's your birthday! It's your birthday! Not for real-real, just for play-play! *Starts dancing*

*END FLASHBACK*

Older Ema The remains of the Heart of the Desert! They're still in the hotel!

Garyuu You mean we can still get back home?

Older Ema Scientifically speaking... YES! Kyle, please tell us where you found that jewel!

Kyle Hyde It was in the hallway, near Room 211.

Older Ema Right! Come on! Let's get there as fast as we can! Oh, and Minuki?

Minuki Yeah?

Older Ema Keep an eye on Kyouya. Make sure he does not eat the jewel when we find it!

Kyouya Hic hic hic... Avatar the Last Airbender LOL...

Older Ema Okay! Let's go!

Image *Stares at Akane* Ah... My dear sweet Akane-chan... Just wait till I'm human again, and I'll--

Me: I SAID THERE AIN'T NOTHING EXPLICIT!

*The group thanks Kyle, and go up the stairs.*

Kyle Hyde Good luck! *The group leaves* ... Oh snap, that was a jewel? Oh... My stomach...

:At the hallway outside Room 211...*

Older Ema Quick! Everybody search for the jewel!

Garyuu I'm on it!

Edgy I'm on it, too!

Minuki I'll detect it with some magic tricks!

Kyouya ... *Becomes normal Kyouya again* Huh? Oh, yeah I'll... Uh... Do something. *Crawls around and pretends to search for the jewel*

Hobohodo I'm staying silent.

KA-WHIP!

Ack PAAAAIIINN!!!!

Payne *in the real world* That's funny...

Ack Damn it, Akane! You've become the new GS4 Franny! When will you throw that whip away?!

Older Ema Less talk, more search!

Image ODOROKEN ROCK SMASH!!!

*Odoroken makes a hole on the wall and finds a few pieces of the jewel.*

Minuki Odoroki-kun, you did it!

Older Ema Odoroki! You actually found the jewel! Oh, I could kiss--

Image *Looks expectantly at Akane*

Older Ema No wait, on second thought, scratch that. Let's just use the jewel to get back.

*Akane holds the last few pieces of the jewel.*

Older Ema This is it. We're actually going back home!

Edgy Oh thank goodness! I need my alone time!

Hobohodo I can see my wife and kids again!

...

Hobohodo Damn.

Kyouya Okay... Did I miss something here?

Older Ema GO!! *Activates the jewel*

*A portal appears. The group jumps in.*

... TO BE CONTINUED.
Image
I do not tolerate bullies. Good day.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
User avatar

Super Tuff Pink Puff

Gender: Male

Location: Total Post Count: 3,050 + 4,000 and more

Rank: Donor

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Posts: 4796

@Cevian: That had to be the best Chirstmas Carol pardoy I have ever seen!

@Orcaizer Al: Great Work! I can't wait for the next part! I'm so excited! Larry
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Oh snap!

Gender: Male

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:04 am

Posts: 114

Wow, lot of long funnies lately huh?

Anyway, here's a short one. I hope you like it.



Edgeworth is sitting, sipping tea calmly.

*Godot bursts in and knockes the teacup out of his hand.*

Godot Heretic! You have been consorting with the tea devil! You have sinned against the Book of Java!

Wacky Edgy *gasp* Godot, I wasn't expecting you!

Godot No one expects the Caffine Inquisition!



I wrote the last line, then built the rest from there. I hope you like it!
Avatar by Zarla <ashido.com>

Image
In the year 4016, justice is no longer fought for in the courtroom—but with giant freakin’ robots!
Image
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
User avatar

Do you see the black one...or the white?

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Posts: 6664

oracizer al: love your story! cant wait for the next part! keep up the good work!!!
On April 3, 2016, Court Records Forums experienced a miracle upon that day.
CatMuto wrote:
Pierre wrote:
Man...that looks dull...this actually makes me worried for KH3 (since that team worked on the battle system)


I feel the same
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
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Gavin Texas Ranger

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Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:12 pm

Posts: 216

In a world of chaos and disarray

Lawyer and medium save the day

Fey Wright Do!

Fey Wright DO! Fey Wright DO!

Fey Wright Do!

Yin Yang DOOO!

Maya Fey - He did it!
Phoenix - She did it!

Fey is skilled in the mystic ways

Knocking out spells and energy rays

Wright kicks butt with a big 'boo hah!'

Phoenix - I slice! I smash! I-
Maya Fey - blah blah blah

Taught 'bout a dude named Javado

A grumpy ol' Lawyer from head to toe

In a world of chaos and disarray

It's lawyer and medium who save the day

Fey Wright Do!

Fey Wright DO! Fey Wright DO!

Fey Wright Do!

Fey Wright DOOO!

When might and magic work as one

A villian's plan can be undone

Mia Fey - Carl!

Kyouya - Coming Mother!

Fey Wright Do!

Fey Wright DO! Fey Wright DO!

Fey Wright Do!

Fey Wright DOOO!

In a world of chaos and disarray

Lawyer and medium save the day

Fey Wright Do!

Fey Wright DOOO!
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

That's one of my rules.

Gender: Male

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:10 pm

Posts: 181

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Oh snap!

Gender: Male

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:04 am

Posts: 114

(We need a Max emote)

Max: Hello, my sweeties! Are we ready to dazzle them in court today?

Nick: (I'm not your sweety, damnit. Stop calling me that.
Maya Fey: Oh wow! You wore your stage outfit to the courthouse! That's so cool, isn't that cool, Nick?
Ack: Max, please to be putting on more clothes!
Nick: Ugh, like five or six more clothes.


(Cheers and happiness to whoever gets the reference)
Avatar by Zarla <ashido.com>

Image
In the year 4016, justice is no longer fought for in the courtroom—but with giant freakin’ robots!
Image


Last edited by The Greg on Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
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Chinese Infantry presents (and is very sorry for):

FOUR GUYS (and one freeballer) NAKED IN A HOT TUB! An unrehearsed discussion group that apparently takes place in a hot tub because they though it would be a good idea.

Featuring group members Edgeworth , Damon , April May Godot Angle , Eh? and group moderator: Phoenix

Phoenix Issue #1: This guy Odoroki . He claims he has "a passionate heart, burning red" or whatever the hell that means. The question: Is this guy the real deal in terms of replacing me in the fourth game, or will he become some over-cheery overconfident character with bad lines like Sonic the Hedgehog. Edgeworth, let's start with out.

Edgeworth This Odoroki guy has got to be the biggest poser I've ever seen. I mean, first he has an attractive female assistant with some sort of special powers ( Minuki ), then he has a male rival ( Kyouya ) who will no doubt become Yaoi bait days after the game is released. Finally, he has some stupid trinket that allows him to do magical crap a lawyer couldn't normally do. On top of that, the hairstyle and outfit screams "Give me bad lines!"

Nick Thank you for pissing off fangirls and future fangirls of Odoroki. I always love angry mobs outside my door. Gant, any thoughts?

Gant I don't know much about Odoroki or Kyouya , but they sound HOT!

Nick Thanks, now shut up. Godot, your op...

Ack WHAT THE HELL? WHY DO YOU GET TO HAVE TWO CHICKS WITH YOU IN THE HOT TUB?

Godot 'cause I'm Godot, bitch!

OBJECT! NO! THEY HAVE TO LEAVE!

Godot Listen, Maruhodou, you don't try to peel a playa' away from his hos. YOU WANT A PIMP SLAP ACROSS THE FACE, BITCH?

Oops Umm, no...

Godot Then you keep your mouth shut about it, bitch.

Nick Whatever, all I want is your opinion on the topic of Odoroki .

Godot Well, he looks like kind of a bitch, then again I suppose anyone is better than you...

Nick OK, next per...

Godot I AIN'T FINISHED, BITCH! At least this new guy won't wear a stupid blue suit and a pink tie. He probably also won't spend time ignoring his assistant so he can have buttsex with his rival.

Edgeworth Don't worry, the inovative folks at Capcom have already got that covered.

Nick And last, but not least, we have Detective Gumshoe. Enlighten us with your view of the subject.

Edgeworth I would like to point out that Gumshoe is in fact, freeballing because that seems to be a run-on joke in this topic. I also understand to irony of the fact that he is freeballing and still wearing more clothes than all of us put together.

Nick Thank you, Edgeworth, for that totally irrelevant observation. Now please go back to staying quiet. Gumshoe?

Eh? Uhh, who is this Odoroki guy?

Nick Weren't you paying attention, he's the defense attorney set to replace me in the new Gyakuten Saiban game.

Gymshoe Ohh, isn't that the game you become a hobo?

Nick Not necesarily, but yes, it's game where I dress up as a hobo.

Gymshoe Ohh yeah, I can't wait for it to be released. I heard I'm getting replaced too.

Nick Yeah, by someone who can actually do the job right...

Eh? What?

Oops Ehh, nothing, next topic:

Godot Hey, I think I know why Gumshoe's freeballing! It's because noone wants to see a naked Gumshoe, apart from Log and Edgeworth...

Edgeworth What's that supposed to mean?

Godot Ohh nothing, Mr. "Trusting Relationship"

Edgeworth Bitch, err, I mean, Gumshoe, remind me to poison his next meal...

Eh? Huh?

Nick You know what, lets just get back to this another time. Next time (If we even make it past the first episode) we will venture into the wonderful world of bad Yaoi pairings and possibly other topics that will scar you for life, kinda like seeing Wendy Oldbag naked. Meeting Adjourned...
I yell "OBJECTION!" in the court sometimes!
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

But I burn, Mr. A!

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Location: in the south y'all!

Rank: Suspect

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FabuVinny wrote:
Phoenix Hmm Phoenix Wright song parodies seem popular recently. Hey, I've just got a great idea.
Edgy Is it alone time?
Nick No, now go away until I need you.
Phoenix My master-
Edgy Ha! You lied. It is alone time.
Nick No I didn't so let me finish. I want this to be above "alone time lol" jokes so stop delaying it.
Phoenix My masterpiece will be called...

Justice For All: The Musical

Pearl As our story begins, Phoenix promises Maggey Bryde that he will get her a Not Guilty verdict.

Phoenix Moving along at the speed of sound
Got verdicts to find, gotta find contradictions
Can't stick around, have to keep movin' on
Guess what lies ahead, only one way to find out

Phoenix Must keep on movin' ahead
No time for guessin', follow my plan instead
Trustin' in what you can't see
Take my lead, I'll set you free

Phoenix Follow me, set you free, trust me
And we will get you found not guilty
I'll make it through
Follow...

Phoenix Follow me, set you free, trust me
And we will get you found not guilty
I'll make it through, prove it to you
Follow me...

Phoenix Danger is lurking around every turn
Trust my feelings, got to live and learn
I know with some luck that I'll make it through
Got no other options, only one thing to do

Phoenix I don't care what lies ahead
No time for guessin', use evidence instead
Find that next stage no matter what that may be
Take my lead, I'll set you free

Phoenix Follow me, set you free, trust me
And we will get you found not guilty
I'll make it through
Follow...

Phoenix Follow me, set you free, trust me
And we will get you found not guilty
I'll make it through, prove it to you
Follow me...
Follow me...

Phoenix I'll make it through...
Oh, yeah...

* * *

Pearl When we last left Maya, she had returned to train in Kurain Village after feeling useless in court...

Maya Fey When in the defendant's chair, I just go about wishing
Wanna be strong, really wanna be trusted, ah-ah...
When all alone in my bed, I just go about yearning
Wanna be cool; I also wanna be like him

Maya Fey But that's not something I can do so easily
This is not simply my way, my own style
Gotta get a hold of my life

Maya Fey I wanna channel
So I can reach the highest of all the heavens
Somebody will be
Waiting for me, so I've got to call Mia

Maya Fey When all alone in my sleep, I just go about dreaming
I see myself there, making the same objection

Maya Fey If I just follow you, I will never see the light
Now's the time to find my way through this life
Trying so hard to be strong

Maya Fey I've gotta keep goin'
Everything is a brand new challenge for me
And I will believe
Believe in myself, this is the only way for me

Maya Fey Many friends help me out
In return I help them
Certain things they can do
And there are things that only I can do
No one's alone

Maya Fey I wanna channel
So I can reach the highest of all the heavens
Somebody will be
Waiting for me so I've got to call Mia

Maya Fey Yeah, yeah, yeah...

* * *

Pearl Things may be looking up for Maya but Phoenix has to focus on the appearance of a new enemy.

Franziska The story begins with who's gonna win
Knowin' the danger that lies within
Within the court, a genius at heart
Wanting to unlock the guilty verdict

Franziska I am Von Karma
That's what I am
I am Von Karma
I've got the perfect plan
I am Von Karma
That's what I am
I am Von Karma
I've got the perfect plan

Franziska I'm plotting my schemes wherever I go
They're perfect in every way
I'd love to defeat the spiked one you know
He's an obstacle that always gets in my way

Franziska I must play this game by my rules
I will conquer the court with my tools

Franziska All my trials are made for my own win
I will build my argument
I will succeed, and you will see
that from my whip, there is no retreat

Franziska I am Von Karma
That's what I am
I am Von Karma
I've got the perfect plan
I am Von Karma
That's what I am
I am Von Karma
I've got the perfect plan

Franziska I am the enemy, I will succeed
My trials, yeah, I must complete
My name is Karma, don't forget my name
If you ask me again, I'll whip you the same

Franziska I am Von Karma
That's what I am
I am Von Karma
I've got the perfect plan
I am Von Karma
That's what I am
I am Von Karma
I've got the perfect, perfect plan

Franziska I am Von Karma...

Maya Fey Is that Von Karma, Nick?
Nick I think it might be.

* * *

Pearl As our story closes, Phoenix has finally reached the end of his hardest trial and has learnt the true nature of being a defense attorney.

Phoenix Oh, yeah...
Maya Fey All right...

Phoenix Well, I don't show off, don't criticize
I'm just livin' by my own feelings
And I won't give in, won't compromise
'cause I only have a steadfast heart of gold

Phoenix I don't know why, I can't leave, though, it might be tough
But I ain't out of control, just livin' by my word
Don't ask me why, I don't need a reason
I've got my way, my own way

Phoenix It doesn't matter now what happens
I will never give up the fight
Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight
It doesn't matter who is wrong and who is right

Edgeworth Uh, Wright...

Phoenix Well, I don't look back, I don't need to
Time won't wait and I've got so much to do

Phoenix Where do I stop? Now it's all a blur and so unclear
Well, I don't know, but I can't be wrong

Phoenix It doesn't matter now what happens
I will never give up the fight
Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight
Place all your bets on the one you think is right

Edgeworth Wright...

Phoenix Oh, it doesn't matter now what happens
I will never give up the fight
Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight
It doesn't matter who is wrong and who is right

Phoenix No, no, no, no...
It doesn't matter!

Edgeworth Yes it does Wright!
Phoenix Huh?
Edgeworth If you had been listening, the whole point is that the truth will come out at the end.
Phoenix Well, can we still place our bets on the one we think is right?
Edgeworth Is that fitting to a system of justice?
Nick No, sir.

* * *

Phoenix This was my best plan ever. I'll make millions.
Pearl Mr Nick? Some men saying they represent something called Sega want to talk to you. They say it's to do with plagerising songs from Sonic Adventure 2.
Nick ...
Hobohodo I'm staying silent on that.



I own that soundtrack, which is either emmbarrasing or.....not emmbarrasing Payne

Okay time for my own funny.
------------------------------------------------------------

Edgeworth :Detective please tell us the details of the crime.
:kylehyde: :This is a joke right? Tell me it's a joke.

------------------------------------------------------------
Okay it's not that funny, but I needed to do it. Larry
I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, that two are called a law firm, and that three or more become a Congress! ~John Adams 1776
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

That's one of my rules.

Gender: Male

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:10 pm

Posts: 181

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
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Defender of kittens from Edgey

Gender: Male

Location: Green Bay, WI

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 6:53 am

Posts: 20

Guess the source and win your very own glass of gravy!

Dr? Hotti Hmm, yes, well, your cholesterol level is lethally high, Matt. Hmm, yes. But I'm more concerned about your gravy level.
Enguard Now wait a second. You doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day.
Dr? Hotti Heheheh, hmm, yes. You're a little confused.
Enguard Oho, confused, would we?
:ka-whip: Fool! Do you even know what you're talking about anymore!?
:ack: AAAH! THAT HURT!
:lotta: I know you ain't no dummy, so don't think yer foolin' no one here!
:judge: There is a limit to everything, Mr. Wright. And that includes patience!
:mia: Phoenix! You have to think before you speak! You can't just blurt out any old thing.
:maya-shock: ...Nick! You're supposed to be helping me!
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
User avatar

Gavin Texas Ranger

Gender: None specified

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:12 pm

Posts: 216

SirSprague wrote:
Guess the source and win your very own glass of gravy!

Dr? Hotti Hmm, yes, well, your cholesterol level is lethally high, Matt. Hmm, yes. But I'm more concerned about your gravy level.
Enguard Now wait a second. You doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day.
Dr? Hotti Heheheh, hmm, yes. You're a little confused.
Enguard Oho, confused, would we?


The Simpsons. D'OH!
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

*insert something witty here*

Gender: Male

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 12:25 pm

Posts: 177

That's the Simpsons: Too easy.

Edgeworth - For todays funneh, we shall do something different.
Phoenix - That's right. We won't be using any jokes based on sexual humour since that's getting old.
Edgeworth - So, if you'll excuse us, we'll get on with the good old-fashioned joke telling.
Phoenix - ...
Edgeworth - ...
Phoenix - Um, aren't you going to do a joke.
Edgeworth - What? You were the one supposed to be in charge of the jokes.
Phoenix - I'm sure you said "I have a few up my sleave"
Edgeworth - No, I bloody well didn't.
Phoenix - Well, because YOU fucked up, we have no material today. Let's bring out the teenage lesbian hookers.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
User avatar

Defender of kittens from Edgey

Gender: Male

Location: Green Bay, WI

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Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 6:53 am

Posts: 20

OK, fine, gravy for Cevian AND TheDarkArchon Beer

TheDarkArchon wrote:
Phoenix - Well, because YOU fucked up, we have no material today. Let's bring out the teenage lesbian hookers.


Minuki Maya Fey Pearl Young Mia Ema Here we are!
Maya Shock Aaahh! No, Pearly!
Pearl Mr. Nick, what's a lez-bee-an?
Sal SAL LIKEY A LOT!
:ka-whip: Fool! Do you even know what you're talking about anymore!?
:ack: AAAH! THAT HURT!
:lotta: I know you ain't no dummy, so don't think yer foolin' no one here!
:judge: There is a limit to everything, Mr. Wright. And that includes patience!
:mia: Phoenix! You have to think before you speak! You can't just blurt out any old thing.
:maya-shock: ...Nick! You're supposed to be helping me!
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Queen Of The Mods

Gender: Female

Location: England, the land of scones and Doctor Who.

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:54 pm

Posts: 836

Chinese Infantry wrote:
Chinese Infantry presents (and is very sorry for):

FOUR GUYS (and one freeballer) NAKED IN A HOT TUB! An unrehearsed discussion group that apparently takes place in a hot tub because they though it would be a good idea.

Sorry, didn't want to quote the whole thing.
One very funny funny. Please do the next episode, you can always discuss the bad Yaoi pairing-
Damon / Von Karma
You know it makes sense. In your nightmares.
And Croik's imagination.
Image
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Chimera

Gender: None specified

Location: Australia

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:52 am

Posts: 104

And now, here's a short intermission-or-something-of-the-sort. The Kwoiffei isn't a natural comedian, so she apologises in advance for a possible lack of humour from this skit.

Young Mia Ow great, I lost the case...

Mia Fey Which case do you mean?

Young Mia The one with Mr. Wright--

Mia Fey ...younger self? If he got the death penalty, then... he'd never become my, er, your understudy, and--

Young Mia You mean... I've caused a time paradox?! Oh s--

*CONVENIENTLY-TIMED EXPLOSION GOES HERE.*
Thank you for flying Phoenix Wright. We hope you have a nice day.
Image
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

That's one of my rules.

Gender: Male

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:10 pm

Posts: 181

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
User avatar

BIKE MONEY!

Gender: Male

Rank: Prosecutor

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 3:40 pm

Posts: 957

*someone enters Phoenix's office*

Ack : Detective Goodman? You're alive!?

Goodman : Yeah, I'm lookin' for a guy named Miles--

(Arrow hits him in the eye and dies)

Edgeworth : Mr Wright, grab his legs! I've gotta bury this thing!

Nick : But I--

Edgeworth : GRAB HIS LEGS!!!

------------------------------------------------------

Damon : MY GOD! Someone's stealing my water!

Lana : But it just went down the drain.

Damon : They hit when you least expect it.

(He waters the plant.)

Damon : SHOW YOURSELVES, COWARDS! I've spent $1,000 dollars of the tax payers money trying to find these thieves and I'll spend $1,000,000 if that's what it takes!

Lana : That's it, I quit.

Damon : NO! WAIT! You can't tell anyone about this!....

Gant : Thank God she's just a figment of my imagination.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

That's one of my rules.

Gender: Male

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:10 pm

Posts: 181

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

AND HIS LAST NAME IS ODEKO.

Gender: None specified

Location: COMPUTER CHAIR *spins*

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:31 pm

Posts: 177

RevFirst wrote:
*someone enters Phoenix's office*

Ack : Detective Goodman? You're alive!?

Goodman : Yeah, I'm lookin' for a guy named Miles--

(Arrow hits him in the eye and dies)

Edgeworth : Mr Wright, grab his legs! I've gotta bury this thing!

Nick : But I--

Edgeworth : GRAB HIS LEGS!!!

------------------------------------------------------

Damon : MY GOD! Someone's stealing my water!

Lana : But it just went down the drain.

Damon : They hit when you least expect it.

(He waters the plant.)

Damon : SHOW YOURSELVES, COWARDS! I've spent $1,000 dollars of the tax payers money trying to find these thieves and I'll spend $1,000,000 if that's what it takes!

Lana : That's it, I quit.

Damon : NO! WAIT! You can't tell anyone about this!....

Gant : Thank God she's just a figment of my imagination.


Right There!

Family Guy! I saw it coming! Edgy
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
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Super Tuff Pink Puff

Gender: Male

Location: Total Post Count: 3,050 + 4,000 and more

Rank: Donor

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:02 am

Posts: 4796

RevFirst wrote:
Damon : MY GOD! Someone's stealing my water!

Lana : But it just went down the drain.

Damon : They hit when you least expect it.

(He waters the plant.)

Damon : SHOW YOURSELVES, COWARDS! I've spent $1,000 dollars of the tax payers money trying to find these thieves and I'll spend $1,000,000 if that's what it takes!

Lana : That's it, I quit.

Damon : NO! WAIT! You can't tell anyone about this!....

Gant : Thank God she's just a figment of my imagination.


Family Guy FTW! And I can't believe how well it work too! I could actually see that happening! *claps* Gant
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

That's one of my rules.

Gender: Male

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:10 pm

Posts: 181

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
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Built For The Kill

Gender: Male

Location: Massachussetts

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Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:24 am

Posts: 1559

After a series of freaky portals...

Odoroki and the gang end up back in their world!

...

But that would be boring so let's add a twist! Time for another of...

AL'S PLOT-EXTENDERS-TTEBAYO!!! (WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS FROM GS3)

*In the Gyakuten Saiban Courtroom...*

Odoroki ZOMFGZ! I'm a real boy! I mean, I'm a real person again!

Hobohodo We finally made it back home.

Kyouya Yeah, it's nice to see the courtroom again.

Older Ema Hmm...

Odoroki What's wrong, Akane-chan? Oh! I know! You must be fatigued from travelling to different video games, right! Why don't you just lie down on my lap and I'll give you a massage--

*Akane pulls out a mallet from nowhere and hits Odoroki.*

Odoroki OOOOOOOWWW!!!!

Older Ema Sorry, but I had no other choice. I've just noticed something strange.

Minuki Really? What's strange?

Older Ema I dunno... I just feel like this has happened before, scientifically speaking, of course.

*People start entering the courtroom.*

Odoroki Hey! Looks like there's a trial ongoing... Hurry up, Kouya! We better get to the stands--

Kyouya I don't think... that we're included in this trial, Housuke.

Odoroki Huh? Why not--

Ack HOLY CRAP!!! LOOK AT THE PERSON IN THE DEFENSE BENCH!!!

Edgeworth AND LOOK AT THE PERSON IN THE PROSECUTION'S BENCH!!!

Odoroki Kyouya Minuki Hobohodo Edgeworth Older Ema Garyuu It's... It's...

Kyle Hyde Uh, I don't get it. Who is it?

Odoroki Kyouya Minuki Hobohodo Edgeworth Older Ema Garyuu HUH? KYLE HYDE? What are you doing here in our world?

Kyle Hyde *Plays with fingers* Uh, see, I, um... The jewel... I thought it was rock candy, right? So I, uh, well... *Stomach growls* Anyway! Nice to see you're back to normal, Combusken boy.

Odoroki Uh, thanks?

Edgeworth Stop changing the subject! We're all supposed to be gasping in shock and awe at the people in the defense and prosecution benches right now!

Kyle Hyde ... Why?

Edgeworth Because, uh, well...

Minuki OMG! Mitsurugi-san! It's you!

Hobohodo Should've known... Vain as always, huh, Mitsurugi? Wait... MITSURUGI!? How can you be here, when you're over there?

Edgy That's me when I was 20 years old! I still had a more Karuma-ish cravat back then... And I look more like Uchiha Sasuke!

Garyuu You mean Emosuke?

Edgeworth ... I'm staying silent about that.

Hobohodo Catchphrase thief!

Odoroki Wait... If that's you when you were 20... And you're supposed to be 33 right now... Then--

Older Ema We're not in the year 2025, but the year 2012!

Minuki *Magically pulls out a calendar* February 16, 2012, to be exact!

Garyuu February 16? Ah! I know what happened on that day... So that means the person in the defense bench can't be Naruhodou, me, or Odoroki, but...

*Everyone turns to look at the defense bench.*

Young Mia The defense is ready, Your Honor.

Ack O

Garyuu M

Odoroki F

Older Ema G

Ack CHIHIRO-SENSEI!!!

Odoroki And... some other guy!

Javado ...

Young Edgeworth The prosecution is ready.

Hobohodo What trial could this be? Mitsurugi wasn't the prosecutor when I was accused of murdering Nonda... Wait. Who was the prosecutor for my trial again? Meh, never mind.

Payne ...

Kyle Hyde Somebody PLEASE tell me what's going on!

Kyouya *Tosses a GBA with a GS3 cart in it to Kyle* Knock yourself out.

Kyle Hyde ... Alright, fine. I'm watching this case with you guys.

*After some LONG Cross-Examination Phases...*

Young Edgeworth The prosecution would like to call Satoko Mukui to the stand.

Edgy Oh! I remember that part! Satoko was actually that bitch Chinami!

Hobohodo Don't say that name... It burns more than Mei or Akane's whips.

Chinami *Goes to the stand, about to testify*

Ack AAAAAARRRGGHH!!!! Oh, horrible memories!!!

Kyle Hyde I haven't played this game before, but something tells me that girl,
Spoiler:
Chinami, was having trouble with her family, and convinced Onamida to go through with a scheme of hers to get her father's money. Mr. Miyanagi was probably a jewel dealer. Chinami's plan was for Onamida to "kidnap" her, and name as the ransom a diamond worth 200 million yen. Her sister Yuuki had just become a police officer, and would work with them to make sure the exchange went smoothly. They would then split the money three ways and really stick it to dear old dad.

They named Oboro Bridge on the Godou river as the location. But when Yuuki came as they had planned, she pulled a gun on Onamida and shot him in the arm - Yuuki and Chinami had planned in secret to cut him out of the picture, and out of their profits. But then Chinami took things a step further, and leapt off the bridge with the diamond in her backpack, throwing herself into the river below. She was washed away and her body was never found.

In reality, Chinami survived, changed her name, and waited in hiding. Only a few people, including her sister Yuuki, knew about it.

In the trial that followed, Yuuki testified that Onamida had thrown Chinami off the bridge (mostly to keep her own part of the kidnapping plot from being known). He was convicted, and sentenced to death. But five years later, during a prisoner transfer, the vehicle he was in crashed and allowed for his escape. His only concern was to find Yuuki, and learn why she had turned on him. He called Yuuki, and asked her to meet him at the Oboro bridge once more. Because he no longer remembered Yuuki's face he told her to wear a white muffler, so he would be able to recognize her.

Yuuki wrote the message out at her desk at the police station. Before leaving to meet with Onamida she told Chinami that she planned to tell Onamida - and the world - everything. Chinami could not allow this to happen, and plotted to kill her sister.

She arrived at the scene before Onamida, and met with her sister. Presumably when Yuuki refused to keep their secrets hidden Chinami killed her by stabbing her in the back. By then Onamida had arrived, but was not at the bridge or the car he had stolen. Seizing the opportunity, Chinami shoved Yuuki's body into the trunk of the stolen car and took her hat and scarf. She disguised herself as Yuuki and set up her camera on a rocky outcropping overlooking the bridge, putting it on a timer. She planned to use the picture it took as evidence that Onamida and Yuuki had met. She then went to the bridge to wait for Onamida.

Onamida, meanwhile, was retrieving the vile of poison he and Chinami had sworn over years ago.

At last Onamida made it to the bridge, where he met with who he thought was Yuuki. After exchanging only short words Onamida left, returning to the stolen car. He had no idea Yuuki's body was already inside the trunk. Before he could drive away from the river the police arrived, and arrested him for yet another murder he didn't commit.


Odoroki Kyouya Minuki Hobohodo Edgeworth Older Ema Garyuu *Stares at Kyle*

Kyle Hyde Huh? What?

Older Ema Those paragraphs lasted more than an hour.

Minuki The Judge just declared a recess!

Odoroki Maybe we should see what the defense's up to?

Kyouya I don't wanna leave yet.

Odoroki Huh? Why?

Kyouya *Points to a 9-year boy old in the stands*

Young Odoroki Mommy? Is that coffee-drinking guy Sarutobi Asuma? If he is, I want his autograph, mommy! Sarutobi Asuma is T3H Awesomez!!! His Wind Chakra and cool attacks are one of the reasons why I watch Naruto even if that show was cancelled 3 years ago, mommy! Please, can I have his autograph, mommy, please? PLEASE?

Older Ema *Snickers* Really charming, Odoroki.

Kyouya Ahem. *Points to a 12-year old girl in the stands*

Ema Sis? Isn't that defense attorney the girl who was attracted to you in college?

Lana Ganto-kun told me to stay quiet.

Older Ema ... Alright, moving on...

_________

Too many spoilers in one post, so...

TO BE CONTINUED.
Image
I do not tolerate bullies. Good day.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

AND HIS LAST NAME IS ODEKO.

Gender: None specified

Location: COMPUTER CHAIR *spins*

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:31 pm

Posts: 177

Orcaizer Al wrote:
Kyouya I don't wanna leave yet.

Odoroki Huh? Why?

Kyouya *Points to a 9-year boy old in the stands*

Young Odoroki Mommy? Is that coffee-drinking guy Sarutobi Asuma? If he is, I want his autograph, mommy! Sarutobi Asuma is T3H Awesomez!!! His Wind Chakra and cool attacks are one of the reasons why I watch Naruto even if that show was cancelled 3 years ago, mommy! Please, can I have his autograph, mommy, please? PLEASE?

Older Ema *Snickers* Really charming, Odoroki.

Kyouya Ahem. *Points to a 12-year old girl in the stands*

Ema Sis? Isn't that defense attorney the girl who was attracted to you in college?

Lana Ganto-kun told me to stay quiet.

Older Ema ... Alright, moving on...


Now THAT was just priceless. Now that you mention it, Asuma does bear some resemblance to Kaminogi. Edgy

Of AlOnE TiMe, ThE CaFfeInE InQuIsItIoN AnD NuMeRoUs OtHeR PW FuNnIeS GaGs

Godot *kicks open a door and bursts into song*
Who are you with, where have you been
Imagination turns thoughts, reason can't change
Staring at the walls, think I know what I see
Anger and coffee, feeling mea -


Wacky Edgy Go-GODOT!

Godot Oh, God. Please tell me you weren't about to have alone time again.

Edgeworth Well, I WAS until you burst in! I was NOT expecting you!

Godot You're damn right you weren't expecting me.

Edgeworth Well, of course! I never invited you, and I must kindly ask you to escort yourself out of my ro - where the hell did you get that hat and that pon -

Godot NOBODY EXPECTS THE CAFFEINE INQUISITION! *castinets*

Edgeworth Somebody please help me...

Whip SAY YOUR PRAYERS, YOU FOOLISHLY FOOLISH CAFFEINE @#$%TARD!

Godot HOW DARE YOU -

Ka-Whip *CRACK!*

Godot RETREAT! *runs out*

Franziska Not so fast, coffee boy! *whips whip around Godot's arm* Why aren't you and Edgeworth in my closet yet?

Edgeworth Better question. Why aren't you and Godot out of my bathroom yet?!

Godot Even better question? WHERE IS THE EXPRESSO?!!

Edgeworth Why the blue flying @#$% would I keep an expresso in my bathroom?

Godot ...you can't be serious, right?

Phoenix Sorry I'm late Edgeworth now take off those pants cuz I am ready to -

[Franny and Godot shoot Wright a look.]

Oops ...kick you in the nads so hard for beating me in court today?

Edgeworth *groans*

Franziska Never have I heard such foolishly foolish words out of a fool's mouth. You don't need to pull down any man's pants to do them justice. Watch this. *kicks Godot down low*

Godot OH STRONG AND BLACK! *hops around*

Wacky Edgy Ack Daaaaaaamn.

Franziska And THIS is for insulting my double mocachino latte, you fool! *whips Godot around*

Phoenix Alright, while they're distracted, let's sneak out of your bathroom and then - wait a minute. Why are you in the bathroom anyways?

Edgeworth Wright...that is the most insanely idiotic question question I have ever hea -

Nick Dammit, Edgeworth, you JUST had to have your alone time before OUR alone time, didn't you?!!

Edgeworth Hey! Edgey needs his alone time! In fact, he needs it nooooow, but he can't because the Caffeine Inquisition, the whippin' Jezebel and a horny gay lawyer are in Edgey's alone time space!

Nick ...so just...do it in front of us...?

Edgeworth But then that means Edgey would have his alone time with people around, so then it WOULDN'T be Edgey's alone time, now, would it?! And besides, I'm pretty sure nobody except you wants to see that.

Maya Fey See what?

Ack MA - MAYA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!

Pearl Hey, Nick!

Ack WITH PEARL?!!

Edgeworth And WHY ARE YOU ALL IN THE BATHROOM?! Can't you all gather around in my house someplace else?!!

Pearly But it smells so good in here! You always leave around lavender-scented soaps and scents to make it smell nice!

Nick Yeah, to cover up the evidence, eh, Edgeworth?

Maya Fey What does that mean, Nick?

Edgeworth Nothing of your concern. Now will you all please get out of my bathroom -

Maya Shock You want alone time, don't you, Edgeworth?!

Pearly ...what's alone time, Maya?

Nick NICE GOING, MAYA!

Godot THE CAFFEINE INQUISITION!

Nick What the -

Pearl Mr. Godot! Good to see you!

Godot Save me, Pearl!

Whip No one escapes my wrath!

Maya Fey EEEK! Franny's got a whip!

Edgeworth Look, if would all please -

Franziska Damn right I do! *dances*

Oops Uh, we do not need to see -

Ka-Whip
My whip brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like it's better than yours
Damn right, it's better than yours
I could teach you, but I'd have to -


Maya Fey Nick, I LOVE THIS SONG! Mia did too for some reason, except it wasn't a whip -

Edgeworth Yes, we KNOW! Now can you all just get out of the -

Godot Yeah, shake it girl!

Ka-Whip *CRACK!*

Godot OH BITTER BLEND!

Pearly OW! That had to hurt!

Maya Fey Mr. Godot, are you all right -

Adrian Franziska!

Edgeworth Oh, come on...

Franziska Adrian! What are you doing here?

Adrian I had to see you!

Franziska Oh, come here, you! *omg lesbian make-out scene*

Maya Shock OH, MY.

Pearly OH, MY INDEED.

Edgeworth Urrgh...now I REALLY have to ask you all to GET OUT!!!

Gant YES AND THEN WE CAN GO SWIMMING PERHAPS?

Ack GAKCK! GANT! But you're supposed to be in the slammer!

Gant I escaped, Wrighto! The slammer wasn't good enough for me - whoa there! What's with all this girl-on-girl stuff?

Phoenix Isn't it hot?

Godot THE CAFFEINE INQUISITION AGREES!

Gant HO HO, INDEED, GOOD SIR!

Pearly Why do we want to go swimming?

Gant Just because! You want to go swimming too, little girl?

Edgeworth ...........*opens window* HEY, WORLD! I'M [CENSORED FOR THE SAKE OF THE LITTLE CHILDREN]! COME AND SEE!

Oops Maya Shock Franziska Godot Gant Pearly Adrian ...........

Pearly Maya? What's master -

Nick Maya Fey Oh, shut up, Pearl.

FiN
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

In charge of confetti

Gender: None specified

Rank: Suspect

Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2007 3:35 pm

Posts: 16

The one above... is downright one of the best funnies I have every seen, It had all the fad whoring elements
Alone time
caffeine inquisition
dominatrix
yaoi
lesbians
Gant
all it needed was butter muffins, lol.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Regular avvy was too big. ;_;

Gender: None specified

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:40 pm

Posts: 56

*Edgeworth and Phoenix walk out of the courtroom*

Maya Fey It's Edgeworth!
Maggy Edgeworth?! Where?!
Wendy Oldbag Edgey-poo!
Pearl Edgeworth!
April May Get Edgeworth!
Ema I WANT YOU EDGEWORTH!

Wacky Edgy Oh my god, Edgeworth fangirls!!
Ack Run, Edgeworth! RUN!!!
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

She knows she's hot...

Gender: None specified

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 2:02 pm

Posts: 181

Pearl : Mystic Maya, Mystic Maya!

Maya Fey : Pearly! What is it Pearly!

Pearl : I wanted to give you this!

Maya Fey : Y-your Magatama? Why?

Pearl : Well, I overheard Mr. Nick saying he wanted to give you my necklace and...

Maya Fey : W-wait, what?

Pearl : I heard you two last night! He said he wanted to give you Pearl's Necklace!

Maya Fey : I think he said he wanted to give me a pearl necklace, Pearly, not "Pearl's Necklace."

Pearl : Oh...ok! Gee, it's so great to have someone special, isn't it Mystic Maya? Giving you presents like that! I'm jealous!

Maya Shock : P-Pearly!!

Pearl : See, you're blushing!!

*An hour later.*

Phoenix : What's wrong, Maya?

Maya Fey : I told you we should have waited until we got back from the Village to...

Phoenix : Eh?

Maya Fey : Pearl overheard you saying you wanted to give me a 'pearl necklace'

Ack : ...she heard that?

Maya Fey : Y-yeah....

Nick : ...that's the last time I discuss birthday presents here. Now people are going to think we're some kind of sex freaks.

Maya Fey : Yeah...I'm glad she didn't hear about the Rusty Trombone we found earlier in your attic. We'd never live that down...

---

Phoenix : What did you think was happening? It's not like we're perverts or something!

Maya Fey : Not in public, anyways!

Ack : Right!...wait, I...MAYA!

Maya Fey : *giggle* Come here loverboy, I still want that pearl necklace!

...

...
...

Edgeworth : You're not getting me to say it, dammit. So don't wait for it.
Proud Phoenix/Maya shipper! Image (props to LySs for the smiley!)
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

Witty filler.

Gender: None specified

Rank: Desk Jockey

Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:16 am

Posts: 134

I'd be amazed if this hasn't been done yet.

Phoenix Hey, what's going on? Why isn't the trial starting?
Judge We're waiting for Godot
Phoenix Oh.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
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Gender: Male

Location: The Shadow Realm

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:37 pm

Posts: 1320

Chinese Infantry presents (despite the demands of protests from Soccer Moms and Jack Thompson):

FOUR GUYS (and one freeballer) NAKED IN A HOT TUB! The only aired unrehearsed discussion group where being butt-naked is not only acceptable, it's required (unless your name is Dick Gumshoe)

We've got a chronic masturbator ( Edgy ), a flaming homosexual child molester ( Damon ), a pimp ( Godot ), a clueless freeballer ( Eh? ) and your uber-sexy, uber-awesome group moderator: PHOENIX WRIGHT! ( Phoenix )

Phoenix Thank you for the awesome intro. No, I did not pay Chinese Infantry to say that, he really does thing I'm that awesome. Ok, let's start off with a request from one of our viewers: the Von Karma / Damon Yaoi pairing. Normally, I'd make this a discussion topic where only Edgeworth and Godot would provide any useful feedback, but since one of the people in this pairing, Damon Gant, happens to be a part of our very discussion group, I shall instead ask him. Gant, have you or are you in a homosexual relationship with Manfred von Karma?

Damon Hmm, him? Nope, can't say that I ever had been.

Phoenix There ya have it folks, straight from the horse's mouth. The decisive evidence to destroy the Von Karma / Damon pairing once and for all.

Gant However, he does look like a hot piece of ass though. I wouldn't mind hooking up with him like in Croik's fanfiction.

Nick Goddammit, Gant. You were supposed to sabotage the pairing, not encourage it.

Gant Why? So you can use it as part of your plan to eradicate all Yaoi pairings from the Phoenix Wright fandom. HEY EVERYBODY, PHOENIX IS A HOMOPHOBE FOR HATING YAOI!

Nick That's great, now shut up. Issue number 1: the Matt / Enguard pairing, otherwise known as the pairing between Matt's good and evil personality. Apparently, a sect of Phoenix Wright fangirls decided to make Matt's two personalities separate characters and then stick them in a relationship. However, they are technically the same person. The question comes here: if you have sex with yourself, whether it be travelling through time to do it or some other means: is it masturbation or is it gay. Edgeworth, we'll start with you.

Edgy Are you kidding. I would kill to able to have sex with myself. Think of the number of new ways I can spend my alone time.

Nick As much as we'd love to think about your alone time, Edgeworth, we'd rather not.

Edgy I mean, I could...

OBJECT! I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH EDGEWORTH!

Phoenix Gant, let's hear your thoughts.

Gant I LOVE THAT PAIRING. WANNA SEE MY FOLDER OF Matt / Enguard ART?

Nick (I knew it was a mistake to ask Gant about anything related to Yaoi) Ok, that's lovely Gant, thanks for your expert advice. Godot, your opinion.

Godot *Talking to April* I know how you like it, bitch!

April May Oooh, it's so long and so HARD!

Nick It's seem Godot is playing with his hos in lieu of participating, so we'll just move on to...

Godot I STILL GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY, BITCH! I'm saying I don't care if it is yourself or not. Male/Male sex is GAY, therefore, it would explain why Edgeworth enjoys it. He practices on himself so he can be ready for Maruhodou or Scruffy Detective.

Nick You really seem to like suggesting I am in a homosexual relationship with Edgeworth, don't you.

Godot That's the playa's cup o' coffee right there, bitch!

Phoenix And finally, we have our very own detective Gumshoe.

Sadshoe I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention to the topic.

Nick You are forgiven and relieved of giving an opinion. (God, I honestly don't know what Maggey sees in him!) Ok, issue number 2: having sex with Pearl while she is channeling Mia Fey . Considered by many to be wrong on so many levels, but is it pedophilia or necrophilia? Edgeworth, lets start off with you.

Edgeworth Hmm, that's a tough one, but I'm going to have to say necrophilia. Technically, it is Mia, and since Mia is of age, not to mention she have gigantic hooters, it can't be pedophilia.

Nick That's probably the first intelligent thing I've heard this entire time, no sarcasm. However, please save any mention of Mia's ungodly-sized boobs for a future issue, since it will probably come up. Gant, let us hear from you.

Gant While, channelling, I wouldn't touch that, but Pearl alone? I'D HIT THAT ALL NIGHT LONG! OHHH YEAH!

Ack FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GANT, WE KNOW YOU ARE A CHILD MOLESTER! YOU DON'T NEED TO MENTION HAVING SEX WITH PEARLS TO SEAL THE DEAL!

Edgeworth I though Gant was a flaming homosexual?

Nick Believe me, he molests children regardless of gender.

Pearl *comes out* Mr. Nick, why did Gant say he'd want to hit me?

Oops Errm, it's a long story, Pearls. You see, Gant is an idiot, which makes him say stupid stuff like that. Do you understand, sweetie?

Pearly I think so. And hey, why are you all naked?

Nick Pearls, less asking questions, more going back in the house to watch Steel Samurai reruns with my lov...MAYA.

Pearl *leaves*

Nick (Gant, I swear to God, if you make one more awkward moment like that, I'm going to kill you.) Ok, now where were we? Ahh yes, Godot's opinion.

Godot If it's anything, it's pedophilia, bitch! You can't have necrophilia with something that's clearly living.

Edgeworth Godot, aren't you forgetting Mia is technically dead and just a spirit in Pearl's body.

Godot Yeah, but I don't think it's neither, I'm just picking one for the question, bitch! If she can channel someone of legal age, I'd do that as well.

Nick Godot, thanks for confirming the fact that you are almost as much of a sick fuck as Gant.

Godot AT LEAST I DON'T DO NO UNDERAGE HOS LIKE THAT GANT BITCH, BITCH! DA COFFEE PIMP AIN'T NO CHILD MOLESTER! I'LL PIMP SLAP YO AZZ FO' SUGGESTING SOMETHING LIKE THAT, BITCH!

Nick Gumshoe, would you like to take the floor from this sick fuck?

Sadshoe Yeah, I would. I think it's wrong!

Nick As much as I agree with you, we've already established that. Now we need to establish whether it is pedophilia or necrophilia.

Sadshoe Sorry, pal, I've got nothin'. Don't know what either of those words mean.

Nick (Why am I not surprised? Geez, does Maggey like stupid men or something?) Ok, issue number 3: Franziska / Adrian . The most prominent of the Phoenix Wright Shoujo-ai couples, and an awesome one at that. The question is: is it true or just wishful thinking on my part. Edgeworth, as always, we start with you...

Edgy I don't really know, but hey, I wouldn't be surprised. I tried asking her out on a date, and she just whipped me into oblivion. I wouldn't be surprised if she was a lesbo. Plus, it makes for awesome porn.

Phoenix You know it, Edgey!

Beer YEAH!

(Note: I wanted an excuse to use that similie)

Phoenix Alright, I'm in a good mood now, so I'll actually ask for Gant's opinion instead of ignoring him like I was contemplating doing.

Gant I don't know either, but if gay is their way, I'm alright with it. Just like if any of you all were gay, I'd DEFINATELY BE ALRIGHT WITH IT!

Godot Remind me again why this bitch is a part of our discussion group.

Nick We're using his hot tub because none of us had one. Now do you have an opinion.

Godot OF COURSE I DO, BITCH! Seeing Franny and Adri having hot lesbo sex?! That's the playa's cup of coffee, baby!

Nick Trust me, except for Gant, we enjoy it too. However, do we have any proof.

Godot *Holds up right hand with platinum ring that says "Coffee Pimp* I GOTCHA PROOF RIGHT HERE, BITCH!

Nick (Somehow, I don't think a pimp slap is going to prove that Franziska and Adrian are lesbians.) Right, now lets see if Gumshoe actually has an opinion this time.

Detective Gumshoe Ahh yes, Franziska / Adrian . I've got definate proof right here that Franziska von Karma and Adrian Andrews are, in fact, lesbian lovers.

Edgeworth Whoa, Gumshoe actually sounds intelligent, are we recording this?

Nick (Yes, Edgeworth, as a matter a fact, we are live, now!)

Detective Gumshoe I would like to play the following excerpt from the meeting of another discussion group:

*Tape begins*
Japanese Infantry presents (and apologizes for doing so):

FIVE CHICKS (and one spirit) NAKED IN A SAUNA. An unrehearsed discussion group where all the girls are naked for the sole purpose of getting viewers to watch.

featuring group members Franziska , Adrian , Ema , Pearl channeling Mia Fey , Maggy and group moderator: Maya Fey

Maya Fey Issue #1: This guy Kyouya . Good Edgeworth replacement, or complete dumbass trying to take two jobs to sound cool? Franziska, we'll start with you.

Whip You like that, whip, baby.

Adrian Oooh, yes Ma'am, I'd like another.

Ka-Whip YOU TAKE THAT, YOU NAUGHTY GIRL.

Adrian OOH, MORE, MORE! GIVE IT TO ME!

Franziska Cmere, you dirty girl.

*insert hot Franny/Adrian lesbo sex scene here*

Maya Shock FRANNY, WILL YOU PLEASE ANSWER THE QUESTION INSTEAD OF HAVING SEX WITH ADRIAN.

Ema Scientifically, I find this fascinating.

Pearl ( Mia Fey ) Why is my younger sister the group moderator and not me.

Maya Fey Because, older sis, my love...NICK is the group moderator of his group, so Japanese Infantry decided to make me the moderator of this group.

Maggy *Scoots in closers to watch, but slips and falls* Whoops. Curse my bad luck.

Maya Shock (Talk about being a klutz. Geez, is Gumshoe into that sort of thing?)
*Tape ends*

Detective Gumshoe And there you have it.

Phoenix Wow, that's quite decisive. No objections here.

Edgeworth No objections.

Damon No objections.

Godot No objections, bitch!

Phoenix Alright it's settled. Franziska and Adrian are lesbian lovers. Issue number...

Payne *Stark naked* hey, can I join you guys.

Ack GOD NO, YOU CREEPY OLD MAN, GET OUT OF HERE.

Wacky Edgy AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, YOU'RE MAKING ME LOSE MY ERECTION FROM WATCHING GUMSHOE'S TAPE!

Gant Sure, hop in, there is plenty of room.

Payne Thanks.

Nick (Gant, I want to fucking kill you!)

Payne *Scoots nexts to Phoenix* so, hot stuff, you want to...

Nick Don't touch me, you loser without fans.

Payne Aww, fine *scoots over to Edgeworth* you like it when I do that?

Edgeworth Listen, asshole. I am the only one allow to have alone time on myself. No one else.

Payne What about you, red visor?

Godot I don't need no more hos, bitch, so fuck off before I pimp slap you.

Edgeworth Why don't you go molest children or something, you creepy old fuck?

Payne Sorry, but I only molest men 18 and older.

Edgeworth Wow, a child molester and an adult molester. You and Gant would make a great couple.

Nick (Dammit, Edgeworth!)

Gant HEEEY, WANNA COME SIT ON MY LAP, OLD MAN.

Payne Ok! *scoots over to Gant*

Ack Ok, that's all the time we have for tonight.

Nick Coming up next time, assuming we aren't pulled off the air, more interesting topics that will no doubt scar you for life, kind of like what Payne and Gant are doing. MEETING ADJOURNED!
I yell "OBJECTION!" in the court sometimes!
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
User avatar

ROCK AND ROLL! HIGH SPEED!

Gender: Female

Location: Inside Edgey's closet. Shhhh! Don't tell him I'm here!

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:48 pm

Posts: 1061

I have one!

Larry : Hey, Edgey! Your car's pretty sweet!
Edgeworth : Really? I was under the impression that it was nasty.
( Ema : Ehehehe...)
Maya Fey : Man can this baby go! Your car is awesome, Mr. Edgeworth! Hey, did you know that Nick doesn't even know how to drive?! We've been using the bus to go everywhere! It's a pain!
Nick : Hey now...
Larry : Edgey, old buddy, old pal! We're best friends, right?
Edgeworth : ... Whatever gave you that impression?
Larry : So can I borrow it? Please?
Edgeworth : No! I'm not helping you pick up chicks.


This one my friend and I both did:
Day unknown, early in the morning
Phoenix Wright's kitchen

Ack : Godot, what are you doing in my house?
Godot : ... (That explains why my housekey didn't work and why my furnature was different...) Maruhodo, I do not concern myself with such matters until I get a cup of coffee.
Nick : I only have the instant kind.
Godot : Uuurrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!! ... It will do.
Nick : *gives him a cup* (Why am I helping this addict?)
Godot : *chug* Ugh! The instantness... *chug* ^^ Oh coffee I love you~<3
(Eeheehee. I made a comic out of this one.)

Spoiler: My friend thought this one up.
Young Franziska : *playing with her whip* *whips young Edgey*
Young Edgeworth : OW! Give me that! *takes it from her*
Young Franziska : .............................*SCREEEEEEEEAMS*
Young Wacky Edgy : GWAH! OKAY! OKAY! *gives it back*

Years later, GS3-5


Judge's younger brother: *gets whipped* OW! HEY! BALIFF! CONFISCATE THE PROSECUTION'S WHIP!
Edgeworth : It's alright. The defense has no objections...
I'm planning on making this one a comic later!


Another one my friend thought up. It's quite screwy.
Ack : *gets rolled up in a katamari* Hold it!
Wacky Edgy : *gets rolled up too* Objection
Godot : *katamari passes by him and rolls up his coffee* ........ TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!
My art thread!
My sprite thread! Calando in progress
Phoenix Wright and co.:Ace Mythbusters! Myth 2 finished
First AA fanfic: Childhood Turnabout (finished)
And my devart site
My billboard signature! *gets pelted with tomatoes*
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title

That's one of my rules.

Gender: Male

Rank: Decisive Witness

Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:10 pm

Posts: 181

You will see this on all of my posts. I used this account when I was 13-14 and some of the content I am not happy about. I am sorry to anyone who read my posts and was rightfully offended by any of it. I will likely not use this website again, just FYI.

Last edited by Wizard Anon on Thu Apr 15, 2021 3:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Phoenix Wright FunniesTopic%20Title
User avatar

Gender: Male

Location: The Shadow Realm

Rank: Ace Attorney

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:37 pm

Posts: 1320

Must...keep...topic...alive...

And now, a short skit featuring darling little Pearls...

Pearl *Skips about happily* What a beautiful day. The sky is blue, birds are singing and happy music is playing, I'd do my happy bounce if I had a similie for it.

Shoe Meow.

Pearl *Pets kitty* Aww, what a cute little kitty, isn't it a beautiful day out?

Shoe *Purrs*

Pearl *Smiles towards kitty with large amounts of cuteness*

Now let's take our short skit featuring darling little Pearls... and add in a touch of Chinese Infantry...

Gant HO HO HO, LITTLE GIRL. WANNA COME SIT ON UNCLE GANT'S LAP?

Pearl Sure *goes over to Gant and sits on his lap* wow, your lap is warm, Mr. Gant.

Gant Ho ho ho...

Pearly Umm, Mr. Gant, why is your lap getting lumpier by the second?

Apparently, our darling little Pearls has never heard of a pedophile. Luckily for her, this is not the FOUR GUYS (and one freeballer) NAKED IN A HOT TUB! skit...

Gant GODDAMMIT!
I yell "OBJECTION!" in the court sometimes!
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