Ten clams, I mean coins, I mean clams, I mean buckaroos! I mean MAMA LUIGI?!

THAT'S WRONG!!!

---

*Dr. Who theme plays*

---

Dullahan1 Presents: Phoenix Finds the True Meaning of Christmas!!! Episode 4!!!

*is sitting down, petting a cat that is laying atop his lap* That's it little one. You like the way I stroke you, right??? It feels very very good, right??? You want more? Why you greedy little thing! Of course I'll give you more. I'm Damon Gant. I don't just rape little children you know, Oh ho ho ho..... oh.... wait, we're on already???? Oh.... poopie.

So our heroes' flight has ended... well, it will when this funny starts. Ooooooooh...... spoilers!!! COVER YOUR EYES!!!!...... I said to cover your eyes..... or didn't you hear me? Anyways, I remember my days in Alaska... it was so cold, it kept me standing for weeks.... and I'm not talking about standing on my feet mind you. Oh no. It was a great experience. Writing my name in the snow, "riding" the polar bears, keeping warm with the eskimos in the igloo.... ah yes... good times, but we aren't here to talk about me. If you want to do that, please send an adressed envelope with $35 dollars to me, and I'll be sure to send you a video that describes every single aspect of me in every detail possible. Bring lots of tissue, it's bound to get quite hot indeed.

Anyways, without further ado, I present to you the boring adventures of these boring fools who never want to get lucky, so I never get to watch them have any fun. TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES WILLY-BOY!!!!!
--------------------------
*in Alaska*

Thank god the plane ride is over. Can we go home now? I'm cold.

No, and being cold is good for you. It makes my nipples hard.

How is that good for me?

Well, I need you to warm them up of course.

Get the heck away from me woman!!! Spawn of the devil!!!!

I'll be happy to assist Maya!!!

.................... You better be careful what you put into your body come next meal Larry.

............

So where's Santa??? I'm missing Children's Masterpiece Theatre for this y'know!!!

We're only in Alaska deary. We still have a ways to go, and I know the best way to do that!!!

Helicopter?

Plane ride home?

Pimp-mobile?

Our imagination???

Dog-sledding.

....... I vote we pick a new leader.

Second it.

Aww.......

Dog-sledding??? They shoot you for that in Texas.

Great.... the weirdos return.

Bread is good.

Amen.

But toast is better.

Preach it brother.

TOAST IS LIKE JESUS ON THE WILD SIDE!!!!!

Um....... uh.......

This is stupid, can we please leave???

Texas toast..... Texas toast...... nothing beats the taste of Texas toast.

As in now???? C'mon!!!! Are you idiots just going to stand there and stare at this backwards Texan all day, or are we gonna get our booties in gear and get outta here???

Nick!!! Stop sweating so much!!! You'll get sweat-sickles on your head!!!

And here we have our voice of reason.

I wanna ride a choo-choo train.

This is going to be a looooooong day.

So.... anyways, how are we going to reach ol' Saint Nick?

We should sled like the ancient Aztecs!!!!

Don't you mean Mayans???

They named a whole race named after me??? Wow!!! I'm more popular than I thought!!!!

And I'm questioning my life more than I thought I would....

I bought us a ride on the pimp-mobile everyone!!! Now we can score with hot babes!!!

I'm only gonna say this once...... WHAT?

Exactly as I said!!! They had a special on a pimp-mobile ride back at the airport, so I figured, why not???

Hey!!! I see some oddly colored purple car heading our way.

It's the same color as my garbs.

Does that make you a pimp, Mystic Maya???

No, but I would be happy to be one of Nick's floosies.

I hate my life.

*pimp-mobile pulls up to them, full of hot wimminz and a guy in a pimp suit. The guy in the pimp suit steps out of the car*

So, which one of you guys paid for a one night stand with one of my floosies???

I did....

*pushes Larry out of the way* A..Actually sir, we need a ride to the North Pole..... not a floosie...

Purchase one of my floosies!!! Don't forsake meeeeeeeeeee!!!!

We don't want any of your freakin' floosies!!!! We don't even want a ride in your ugly pimp-mobile!!!! I just want to go home and sleep in my bed!!!

With me, right???

Heck no you spirit slut!

That's it. No way you're leaving now Nick.

And what is that supposed to mean?

Let's just say that I know your weakness Nick.

Pshaww..... you don't even know the difference between a step-ladder and a ladder.

As true as that may be, I know what makes you fall to your knees Nick.

Heh... like you would ever know. I would never tell you!!!! Ever!!!

.......... *starts to sing* Tinky-Winky!!!! Dipsy! Lala!!!! Poooooooo!!!!

MAKE IT STOP!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!

So, what do you say Nick.

I'll go, I'll go!!!! Just don't torture me again, please!!! You don't know what I went through!!!!

Pleeease don't ignore meeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Pleeeease don't ignore meeeeeeeee!!!!

Pleeease don't ignore meeeeeeeeee!!!!

Wow..... these guys are sad sad creatures.

*gets into the pimp-mobile and kick's all of Ron't floosies out of the vehicle* We going or not???

Yay!!!! Mr. Nick steps up to the plate once more!!!!

Does that plate have burgers???

........... I worry about you.

Woo hoo!!!! Time to score!!!!

Wait for me!!!!

*the group takes off in the pimp-moblie, leaving Ron and his floosies behind*

Please don't forsake meeeeeee!!!!!!

*in the pimp mobile*

You better thank me for this Maya, but after this, I'm not doing anything else for you.

Oh, yes you will....... tinky....

YES MASTER!!!!

Ahh.... you two are indeed the perfect couple. I envy you two so much.

Well lil' Pearly..... if you aren't doing anything next week.... then maybe we....

*slaps Larry 20 times* I'M NOT INTO GAY MEN MR. BUTZ!!!!!

I.... I'm not gay...

I'm sure with your bad love life.... its only a matter of time before it comes out.

I feel betrayed.

Hey Mr. Wright!!!! Watch the road!!!

*in the middle of the.... uh.... icy wonderland* What a great day. Finally I'm away from all those loons. No Regina, no Ben, no Moe.... life is good.... if only my tear ducts would get fixed.... hey what is th... *gets hit*

Woah!!!! What did we just run over there Mr. Wright???

Eh.... looked like a rabid raccoon to me.

In Alaska???

Hey, anything is possible.

When you believe.

And when you believe, you can achieve!

Sorry to cut your dream short Larry, but that's impossible for you. Your life was meant to suck.

............................ I know.
--------------------------------

And thus ends another pointless chapter in another pointless adventure of the life of a pointless lawyer. If you are wondering why I am here, Gant was brought in to the station after being accused of raping his cat. That's right, I called the cops because I'm sick of looking at that scumbag's face. He creeps me out and I can't stand his freakin' personality. I hope he dies. I want him to suffer in the thousand pits of burning hell, where the only action he'll be getting is the moaning of his voice as he suffers from the flames consuming his body, but not quite ever finishing him off, having him forever burning and suffering. Anyways, leave me alone and go back to your poor pathetic lives. You all suck, as does this stupid post. Now leave me alone....

The bathroom calls!!!!

---

Your staying silent????

THEY SHOOT YOU FOR THAT IN TEXAS!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_______________________________________

And thats how I became a hobo.

WHAT THE HECK!!! YOU SAY THAT EVERY TIME!!!!!!!! WHY!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I'm staying silent about that.

---

D1, I love your funnies. Keep it up.

---

Yeah. You've got the best series...es...

---

The real way Dr turner grey got killed.

---

I do think that it is incredible how you can get into one of those situations where you just don't know how to deal with what's happening, where you don't know how to deal with the information that's coming at you. I'll tell you this. Recently something happened, and it's amazing how sometimes just a tiny lint ball, a tiny ball of lint, can turn into a...uh...clusterf***. A entire clusterf***;and that's not a candybar, I'll tell you that much. Milk chocolatey clusterf***s don't exist. Full of peanuts and f***. Nugetty f***. Here's what went down, okay. I'm standing beside this guy...This entire thing starts off with a sneeze. I'm standing next to this guy, I don't know him; never met him before in this life, or in a past life. I can sense these things. Well...
----
*turns to Phoenix and sneezes.* FWUH! *The way he moves as he sneezes looks like the robot dance*
----
Yeah, he turns towards me, and he sneezed. And there was no blockage. No...
----
*Covers face with hand*
----
No...
----
*Covers face with elbow*
----
And there was no pushing people away like you're about to turn into a werewolf...
----
*Starts pushing Phoenix away* Something's... happening to me....
----
Two things happened. First, it scared the everlivin' outta me. I jumped because it was very loud. But besides that, just the way the light was hitting this guy's face, debris came out, alot of stuff, almost like when you use windex on mist mode. What is that other mode, laser mode? Is that in case you want to mount a sniper scope on the windex? *Moves his hands like he's holding a rifle* Yeah, I got a stain at eight clicks. I am taking the shot. Tst. Negative. I missed the target. I need one more. Tst. GOt it! let's go home boys. I'm gonna tell you right now, when you use windex, never put it halfway. There's no joke here. Don't do it. Bad things happen to good people. I know some idiot here is going to go home and...
---
Hold on, I gotta try this. *Picks up a windex bottle* What happens when you don't line it up? I just gotta see. *Puts it halfway and spritz*
---
What if, when you do that, a ghost comes out?
---
Muahahahahahaha! He told you not to! I am Windextor!

---

XD YES!

---

Whoooooah, what was in that coffee??!!

---

TURNABOUT RED VS. BLUE

Episode 3


Hey, thats not exactly how it happened.
Yes it is. You said "I'm not going to the Vega squadrant" and then the next thing I know, you're in an escape pod and-
Excuse me, sirs.
Sirs?
Aw, crap.
I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1, and speak to whoevers in charge.
Sorry, man. Hodo's off in command getting orders. Ain't nobody in charge today.
Actually, private, he left me in charge while he's gone.
You are such a suckup.
Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you, I should- *clears throught, then trys to imitate * Get in the Worthog, and crush your head like a tomato can.
.......................Thats the worst impression I've ever heard.
Okay rooky. Whats your story?
Private Feenie reporting for duty, sir. I'm ready to fight some aliens.
A couple of things here, Rooky. First off, Private Feenie? I think someone needs a new nickname. Secondly, whats with the suit color?
It is the standard issue red.
Yeah, I know. Only two kinds of people wear standard issue suits. Officers and recruits. And since you're not truying to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer.
Well, he's wearing a red suit.
No, my suit is maroon. Your suit is red.
Well how do I get a different color suit?
I bet the blues don't have to put up with this kind of crap.

*meanwhile, at blue base*

*Everyone is standing in front of a tank*
So, I say to the guy, "How you gonna get the tank down to the plannet?" and he goes "I'll just put it on the ship." and I go "If you've got a ship that can carry a tank, why not put guns on the ship, and use it instead?"
HEY, kid.
Yeah?
You're ruining the moment. Shut up.
Oh... Okay... You got it man.
You know what? I could blow up the whole freakin' world with this thing.

*Back at red base*

Okay, private Feenie, here's the deal.
I just refuse to call him Private Feenie.
We've got a very important mission for you. You think you can handle it?
Absolutely.
We need you to go to the store, and get two quarts of elbow greese.
Yeah, and uhh... pick up some... headlight fluid for the Puma, too.
The what?
He means the worthog.
You do know where the store is, right rookie?
What? Uhh... Yeah! Yeah, of course I do! Sure, no problem.
Well, get going then.
*runs left*
Other way.
*runs right* I knew that... I was just turning around. Thats all.
& *Watching him run*...............................
How long until he realizes that there's no store?
I'd say, at least a week.
*up on the mountain* Elbow greese? How stupid do they think I am? Once I get back to the base with the headlight fluid, I'm gonna talk to the sargent.

*back at blue base*

You know what? Forget what I said earlier. We could definately pick up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks a peice.
Aw man. Listen to you. What are you gonna do with two chicks.
Miles, women are like Voltron. The more you hook up, the better it gets.

*back at red base*

You think we were too hard on the new guy?
Nah, he'll just run around the cliff for a couple hours. Whats the worst that can happen?

*just outside blue base*

Finally, there it is.

---

I'm gonna be a saint.....

B-b-b-b-b-bbut... NO!! I WANNA BE YOUR WIFE TO HAVE & TO HOLD.......

No way m'lady, you heard me right! Am stay'n virgin for God's sake!!!!

---

ROFL. I can just picture that. The question is.... which one is the doctor?

That's OBVIOUSLY Naruhodou (was known as Dr. Naruhodou before changing the Custom Title to that German phrase!)

---

.....

WUT

---

...
*cough*

---

Exactly the reason I said...
.....

WUT

---

And thats how I became a Hobo


*no one there*



*criket noise*




Im staying silent about that.


------------------------------
PS. Where did the "and thats how i became a hobo" joke originate?

---

*Is walking,finds a egg*
*The Egg Hatches*
Mama Godot!Mama Godot!
*Many Grossbergs surround Mama Godot and Shoe*
ROAR!
ROAR!ROAR!
Mia,where ever you are....HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPP!
*Eats all of the Grossburgs*
*Runs in*Godot,are you all ri---
*Eats Mia*
*inside of shoe*Sheesh..now I know how a meatball feels.
Spit her out,Shoe---she's my girlfriend!
*spits*
Yuck--I've been slobbered!
Mama Godot!Mama Godot!
MAMA?MAMA GODOT?!*Begins to laugh uncontrollablly*

*wakes up*
Dear sweet christ,who slipped drugs into my food??!!

---

TURNABOUT RED VS. BLUE

Episode 4

Yeah, I'll let you guys in on a little secret. I've actually got a girl back home.
Oh, yeah? Girlfriend or wife?
Nah, man, she's just my girlfriend. You know, we were gonna get married, but then I got shipped out, and you know how it works.
Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back?
I'm not gonna get married.
My dad always said "Why buy the cow when you could get the milk for free.
Hey, rookie, did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
No! I think he called her a slut!
Tell you what, noob, I can sit here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but, as it turns out, I have a way more important job for you to do.
Great.
See, we've got this... general.
Right. The... general guy.
Who likes to come and make random inspections at bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag in attention, just in case he decides to come by.
When is he coming by?
We never know. Could be the today, could be a week from now.
You want me to stand at attention... for a week?
You know? You don't sound that greatful. This is the most important job at the whole base.
You're gonna be right there with the flag!
Whats so important about the flag?
Aww, come on! Don't they teach you guys anything in training?
They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why's it so important?
Because its the flag, man. You know... Its the flag! Godot, you tell him about the flag.
Well... its complicated... uh... its blue... we're blue...
It's just important, okay? Trust us. So when the general comes buy, first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag.
Right.
So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him.
*runs toward base, stops, and turns around* How will I know when I see him!?
There's only three of us out here, Rookie. He's one of the guys that doesn't look like us.
NOW GET IN THERE AND DON'T COME OUT! Man, that guy is dumber than you are!
You mean he's dumber than you are.
Wow, Godot, that was a great comeback.
*comes back* Um... Mr. Edgeworth?
Oh my god...
WHAT!?
Godot, I swear, I'm gonna kill him!
Sorry for calling your girlfriend a slut...
ROOKIE!!! SHUT UP!!! JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! GET IN THERE!!!
*turns around and starts laughing*
*turns around* What're you laughing at?
Excuse me, sirs? Can I ask you a question?
Dear god, in heaven, Rookie! If I turn around, and you're not inside, I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you!
WHAT DID I DO!?
ONE,
AW GIMME A BREAK!!
TWO!!
FINE!!! *runs inside blue base*
*sees * WOW! You got here fast!
Why is everyone so freakin' rude inside of this canyon?
I'm not, sir! What can I do for ya'?
Finally, someone with a little respect around here.
YES SIR! I assume you're here because of this? *points at flag*
Wait, is this all you have?
Uhh... Yes sir. Thats it.
Aww man. This sucks. What about elbow greese?
Ummmm...
Headlight fluid?
No, all we've got is this flag.
Well, I can't go back empty handed. I guess I'll take that.
Sure! That makes sense... I guess.
*Picks up flag* Man, they're gonna give me so much crap when I get back with just this stupid flag.

*outside*

Well, enough gabbin' out of us. Lets take this bad boy out for a spin. Go ahead and go in, Godot.
Me? I can't drive that thing.
You're telling me that you aren't suitified?
I can't even use the freakin sniper rifle! Don't you know how to drive that!?
NO!! HOLY CRAP!! WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY!?
*walks outside* Hey! Just wanted you to know, the general stopped by, and picked up the flag!
*turns to Gumshoe* YEAH! OKAY!! Whatever, moron!! *turns back to Godot* Why would they give us a tank if nobody here knows how to drive the dang thing? Wait a second... what did he just say?

---

I don't know when I came up with this...
hmm hmm hm hmm *is going through Edgey's magazines*
*comes through door* Wright, what are you doing here?!
Uhh, uh, what are you doing here?
Well, this is my bathroom and I was going to mas-
CHEESE IT!!! *Jumps out of window*
--------------
And thats how I first knew about Edgey's alone time.
Oh, I thought you were going to say something about you becoming a hobo...
Oh! That's the story of how I got Edgey's house key.
---------------
*Walking along the street* Doo doo doo doo doo
Hey you!
Me?!
Yeah, you, you want to buy something?
Uh, what do you have?
*shows a key* This key to Edgeworth's house!
I'll buy it for $1,000!
Deal! *exchanges key for money*
(in head) Man, that guy looked cool.
---------------
And THAT'S how I became a hobo, I copied off of that guy!
Wait that guy in your flashback looked a LOT like you.
Hey, that ain't my fault.
Me neither.
What the, there are two of you! I'm going insane! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs off and becomes insane*
& What's up with him?
----------------
And that's how I became a hobo!
*Silence, then...*
Hey, it's you Apollo!
AHH! He's back again!
& Huh?
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Who's talking, I can't understand, AHHHHHHH!!!! *collapses*
& Oooooo-k?

---

Ook ook!
why is there a giant pink ape here?
Because everything's better with monkeys.
But apes aren't monk...

EVERYTHING'S BETTER WITH MONKEYS!

HOLY SHIT! OK, dude!
Ukk *** I'm a spammy Spambot that wants to be ban hammered! *** *** I'm a spammy Spambot that wants to be ban hammered! ***.

---

MAAAAN! YOU'RE AWESOMELY FUNNEH!!!
*adds Stichez as friend*

---

LMAO Super Mario World FTW XD

---

: This is like my 3rd craziest Godot dream yet!

: *runs into Larry's bedroom* That's Mama Godot to you, Larry!

: ...

: MIND FUCK!

* singing * Having my alone time, haveing my alone tiiiimmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee.

Edgworth, I neaded to know...

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!

Away with you Wright, your interupting my alone time.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


_________________________________________________________________

And thats how I became a Hobo.

Um.......... What brought this up again?

Im staying silent about that.

OK..................

---

Your haveing alone time????

THEY SHOOT YOU FOR THAT IN TEXAS!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

____________________________________________________

And thats how I became a hobo.

Fool, thats my line.....

Im staying silent about that......

......

......

---

Gonna keep on rollin' baby...

Who's in, now who's out
Hands up, now hands down
Back up, back up
Tell me what you gonna do now
Breathe in, now breathe out
Hands up, now hands down
Back up, back up
Tell me what you gonna do now
Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' (what?)
Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' (c'mon)
Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' (yeah)
Keep rollin' rollin' rolli-

SHUT UP! THAT SONG SUCKS!

I was a big help in this case, right? Right?
Au contraire, Larry.
GODDAMMIT EDGY! *hits with baceball bat* I DON'T SPEAK ITTALIAN!

---

May the prosecution please continue with the opening statement.
Yes, the victim was att-

............Um, yes, Wright?
.........
Ok, then, uh, I'll just continue...Anyway, the vi-

WHAT IS IT!?

Will the defense please shut up!
...........
Good, now conti-

Nick, what is wrong with you?

Ugh, I hate you Nick!





Ugh, that's it, I'm out of here, I could have alone time instead of bickering with a child. *leaves*

NICK, STOP YELLING!!!!

*comes in* Actually, I think he's sick with a disease called "Objection-nitus"...it makes you yell a set number of words...I think I've seen it before in someone called-
*bursts in*





That's it, I'm leaving too, whoever the defendant was is
&

---

XD what the hell...?

---

Epic Win! I laughed until I stopped!... wait...

---

If Coffee were whiskey...

Stronger than Chuck Norris, scares away all troubles in life... now that's whiskey!
----------------
The *hick* prostetution wants a recess... let's say to 7:00 PM.
---------
*Throws Whiskey bottle at Wright a lá old coffee style*
MR. WRIGHT! Are you drinking in court?!
Haven't he been doing it all day...?
Wright, you are so
-----------
My mom said the booze would get me nowhere... and look where I am! Am a f*cking prosecutor! I rule this courtroom!
*door opens*
What are you you screaming about? And why are you in my bathroom?
--------------
I won't talk!
... whiskey?
...alright I know who did it.
*Pour up some more for the witness*
It was Manfred von Karma!
*Pour up even more*
It was Phoenix Wright!
I knew it.

---

Good as always!!! Magniferrous!!!!

---

Every females worst nightmare. Spoiler to save space





Random, i know

---

DAMMIT, you beat me.

....
....
....
....What? Why are you staring at me!?
I was just thinking about how much you look like a crossbreed of the Travelosity Gnome and Santa.
Oh, okay then.
You're letting him get away with that!?
*objection-style* QUITCHYER B----IN'!
You took the words right out of my mouth.

---

Dullahan1 Presents: Phoenix Finds the True Meaning of Christmas!!! Episode 5!!!

Hello my friends. I am Apollo. Apollo Justice. That's right. My last name is the same kind of justice that heroes deliever to the bad guys when they do bad guy things. And as you have guessed, my first name, Apollo, is a god's name. That is right. I am a god. I am God!!!! You will all bow down before your God and worship me!!! Worship me and my passionate heart burning red or I will smite you all!!!

Uh huh..... I'm Trucy Wright. That's right, I am always right.... and true.... gah, my name.... its not that creative.

Ha!!! Bow before me worthless mortal!!!

But at least its a more normal name than Apollo. Seriously, who would name their child Apollo??? Were your parents on crack or something?

Um.... I don't remember my parents....

Really??? Does this mean we will have to go on yet another pointless adventure to discover your birth parents. You do remember what happened last time right? So unpleasant for me....

Not really..... hey, do I really look like Combusken??? Some people say I could be Cutman.... whaddya think???

I think we need to get out of Gant's house before he comes back from the cops!!! Seriously!!! Start the stupid funny already!!!

But.... my question.... and my legion of followers..... nobody bowed down to me..... bymygame.

*hits Apollo upside the head with a lamp* Without further stupidity, we present to you more stupidity in the form of a funny.

*rubbing head* This lamp oddly resembles a big pen...

START THE FUNNY!!!!!!!
-------------------------------------------

*in the middle of a frozen wasteland in a purple stylish car that is very capable of picking up hot girls...*

It's called a pimpmobile....

No one cares what you think Larry!!! Anyways, why am I driving this stupid thing to the North Pole? I may as just as well turn this thing around.

Tinky Winky....

I mean how about we drive to the North Pole so you guys can see that Santa Claus doesn't exist. Then you will all feel like idiots.

Dipsy.....

I mean how about we drive to the North Pole so you guys can see that Santa Claus does indeed truly exist!!!!

Lala....

I meant to say that Santa is my best friend and I most definitely want to pay him a visit to say hi!!!!!

Po.....

SANTA WILL TELL US THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS DARNIT MAYA WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO MUCH?!?!?!?!

I love the song.....

I can't wait to meet Santa. I hear he likes little kids..... like Mr. Gant. I wonder if he's better than Mr. Gant.

Yeah.... wait.... what?

I mean does Santa do it better than Mr. Gant?

Do what?

Well, I was just wondering if he...

Pearly!!!!! No!!!! Don't speak of such forbidden things!!!

I was just wondering if he knew how to tune a TV better than Mr. Gant. Mr. Gant sucks at it. I didn't even get to watch my favorite show at his place, so I left.

*sighing* Oh pimpmobile.... you must feel betrayed..... to be so..... pimpy and not a hot girl in miles for you to attract. Oh how you must be suffering.

Larry, you are getting on my nerves. I didn't want you on my last trip, why would you think I would want you around this time?

Because we are best friends, and you usually meet alot of hot girls on your trips....

Hmm...... aha!!!

Larry!!!! There's a hot girl over there!!!!

Where??? Show me!!!

*stops car* Right over there, you can't miss her!!!

*jumps out of car and starts looking* Where??? I can't find her!!!!

GUNNIT NICK!!!!

Roger!!! *puts the pedal to the metal and drives off real fast, leaving Larry behind*

I don't see her anywhere Nick........ Nick???

Why must they all run away from me??? I have nothing but love!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!

*back at the pimpmobile*

We're far away from Larry now, right?

I would believe it to be so.

Good, lets ditch this piece of crap.

Uh..... what???

Nick, you know we have no other way of getting to the North Pole....

*points to a random helicopter on a random helipad in the middle of no where.

That's my line.

*kicks Apollo in the balls* Great find Mr. Nick!!!

*kicks Apollo in the balls* Totally didn't see that coming.

*accidently steps on Apollo's balls, after Apollo already fell to the ground clutching said balls after already having them kicked twice* But can any of us actually fly that thing???

Crap. Will has a point....

Wait... you drove a car Nick, but you don't have a driver's license!!!!

It wasn't a real car, it was a pimp-mobile. BIIIIIIIIGGGGG DIIIFFFFFFFFFFEEERRRREEENNNCCCEEEE.

But flying that is a lot harder than driving a car, and if none of us have any experience, we are screwed.

PEARLY!!!! Watch your language!!!!! But you do bring up a good point.

Howdy ya'll!!!! Ya'll lookin' fer a pilot to fly yer heleecopter???

Oh crap!!!! It's Bob Ross' evil female half and she's come to suck our blood!!!

I got it!!!! *takes out an AK-47 and kills Lotta* There, the deed is done.

Phew.

Now will you do me Nick?

Not on your life.

Ok, then I'll stay a virgin for you through death.

I'm not into necro either.

But you will be into me.... you know.... as in "IN" me....

Cut out your sexual seductions Maya. You don't have the body to back it up.

But I will one day.... and then you'll be sorry....

Mystic Maya!!! How could you!!!! What if that werewolf was the only pilot that could fly that helicopter??? Now what are we going to do???

Um.... we still got the pimpmobile behind us.... *random meteor falls and destroys said pimpmobile* Well, there goes that plan.

Don't worry Pearls, we'll just head to the helicopter and figure it out from there!!! Trust me.

I always trust you Mr. Nick. I love you.

Uh huh.... I'll feed you later.

How do you all do. Are you seeking a flight?

AH!!!! Where did you come from???

Where do we all come from??? Why are we all here???

That's deep.

Yes, we are looking for a helicopter ride to the North Pole!!! Will you take us.

I shall. The North Pole is about 200 miles away. The cost per guest is $200. It's $25 a mile. The total cost will come to $5,800.

Isn't that a bit way too expensive for a helicopter ride?!?!?!

If you do not agree to my terms, you cannot ride. Have a good day.

You heard the man. Let's head back.

We're stranded idiot.

*gives the pilot the money* Here ya go!!!! I'm the Steel Samurai, so I'm loaded!!!

Why didn't I receive that nice sum of money when I defended you?!?

Because you didn't give out helicopter rides.

.......................

YAY!!!! Helicopter ride!!! It's my dream come true!!!

If you will, please get onboard. The ride will begin shortly. *everyone gets in and they take off*

Mr. Helicopter man, how long did it take you to learn to fly???

2 hours.

Umm.... how is that possible.

I read the instructions.

Can I read them???

Sure thing young lady. *gives them the book*

How to Fly a Helicopter for Dummies??? We're screwed.

Don't worry Mr. Wright, we'll be fine!!!!

Have no fear. I have been in the flying business for years. You can trust me that I do my job quite professionally.

Then you better look out for that flying object!!!!

*on a broomstick dressed up as a witch* MIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAA FEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! MIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAA FEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! *gets hit by the helicopter and falls to the ground*

May I ask what flying object sir???

N... Nevermind sir.

Do not doubt my job sir. I am quite a professional.

Y...You said that already...

Do you have a problem with that sir???

Uh..... no!!!! Not at all sir!!!!

Good.

Wow..... he put you in your place Nick. It must be that eerie aura that's surrounding him.

Ears??? He only has two.

Hanging around you three leaves me more confused than that time I thought that I was going through menopause.

................................

I always hate it when somebody pauses my video games too Mr. WP.

We have arrived at our destination. *lands by a red and white candy cane shaped pole with a sign overhead that reads "North Pole"

Yay!!!! Santa Claus is here!!!!

Yay!!!! I can ask him for a pretty face!!!

I can ask him for a baby sister!!!

I can ask him for a life time supply of burgers!!!!

Doesn't Santa only give out toys? He's not a genie you know.

I shall take my leave now. I bid you all farewell. *kicks them all out of the helicopter and takes off*

Great..... all I see here is a stupid pole..... the North Pole..... and its so freakin' cold here...... what a waste of a trip. I wanted to die happy.... seems like that won't happen now.

You mean this is it???

It can't be!!!! He's hiding!!!

Yes, because if he wasn't, this would be a waste of trip and we would all be stranded here and freeze to death.

My point exactly.

I'm not quite following.

So this is the true meaning of Christmas...... life sucks.
--------------------------------------------------

Hello friends. After enjoy those strip searches, raping my fellow prisonmates along with the officers, I, Damon Gant, has returned. Nothing turns me on more than cosplay and....... is that my lamp??? Who would break such a thing???!!! It was the perfect representation of Manfred Von Karma's majestic manhood!!!! Now that it's ruined I..... I...... *cries* I can't live with myself anymore..... Manny.......

RAPE!

To be continued....

---

I WILL EAT YOUR BABIES!!!!!
WAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAAA!!
*wakes up*
wow! that was a bad dream!...hm? when did i get a king sized bed?
hmm what is it my love?
AHHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!
*wakes up*
my god! what will happen next?
what is it dear?
please dont let this be a dream! dont wake up!! dont wake up!!
*wakes up*
DAMMNIT!!!!! WHOS NEXT?!?!?!?!?
SHUT UP!! im trying to get some sleep dear!!
URAGGGGHGHHGHGHGHGH!!
*wakes up*
okay whos next!
what is it fennie?
THANK YOU GOD!!!
*wakes up*
ok ok whos next!!!
did you have another bad dream fennie?
yes i did iris yes i did...
*wakes up*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
*is alone*
thanks god for ending this nightmare...
*wakes up*
WRAGHHH!
what is it nick?
huh? it will do i guess?...

END...?

---

IM DONE!!!! THANK GOD!!!!!

(EliasBloodmaoon) ......Who are you?

Takita. You know.

...

...

...

...

Guards, Escort him off My property.

(hamza) WHT rite on it are u qiet sane Revfrist I lay off my head

(Rev) ((Man, I am REALLY poor right now. I'm starring in one of the worst CR members. Plus this is the one who isn't even funny.)) Ok Mr. Ta....how do you say your name?

*sigh* Lemme just show you my funny.

Make it quick. I got a date with Trucy tonight.

Ok, I've actually forgotten the funny up until now, but it's time to make things right
--------------------------

IMMA MADZ AT U :p

Fuk u Minukis MY BI-ACH

IMMA HEREZ the number '4' NO REAZON.

(???) What the hell are you guys doing?

Oh, it's my maid. Go clean the toilets or someth--

Um......Hello Ms......

(Pylons) Pylons.

((P.S. Pylons, please don't be mad at me for this.))

Well um....maybe we could go out to dinner sometime?

Uh...sure.

You know this mean Pearl won't exist

(in robotic voice) I am not 'Pearls' Pearls is being held captive at the time of the future and she is the offspring of Morgan and one of the badgers up her ass, all those other stuff was made up for shoe. I am T-X. The only one who could have saved you is T-101. Who was killed. We switched DNA with you and Takita's future daughter, Aphrodite.

So your not really me and Takita's daughter?

No Shit, Sherlock. That's what she just said.

*comes through another hole and kills T-X.*

Wall this has been one hell of a day. I was on a shitty version of the Jerry Springer show, I lost my girl, got a new girl.

...got your original girl back.

What your coming back? Why?

.....'cuz.

Whatever then. Let's just go home *Walks home together in the sunrise*

.....What the hell? TAKITA GETS 2 WOMAN AND WHAT DO I GET? JACK AND S**T!

*walks up* WHY HELLO THERE ELIAS!!!!!

.....Ok, now that is just unfair.

Oh Monsieur, Hello.

.....Takita, I hate you.

Why Hello there Elias-poo.

Takita, if you hate me this much, why don't you just kill me. JUST FREAKIN KILL ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

Pssht..... Emo.
---------------

THAT SUCKED!!! THAT WAS THE WORST FUNNY IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND, IN THE WHOLE WORLD, GALAXY, UNIVERSE, MEGAVERSES LET THE WORD BE KNOWN. THAT WAS THE WORST THING EVER MADE!!!!!

I can't even DESCRIBE HOW UNFUNNY IT WAS.

I don't care. I finished it now shut up, ignore this post, and never talk about this again.

---

.......... That made no sense whatsoever...........
Yours aren't any better!
Shut up.

---