(Phoenix) *Is sitting on the sidewalk until the "guy he copied off of" walked up to him* Oh, hey clone of me.
(Hobo) Hey, I'm not a clone of you! But, I came because I know that you're a fake, aren't you?
(Phoenix) Um, um, um, I don't know know what you're talking about, fake what?
(Hobo) A fake hobo! *takes off Phoenix's hat* See, that hat comes right off! *takes off Phoenix's fake stubble* And that does too! *takes off Phoenix's hoodie* And you're even wearing a suit with a tie!!!!
AHH, you found me out!!!! Please don't tell anybody, I like my fanbase as a hobo!!!!
Don't worry, I just wanted to know if it was true.............Ok, bye. *leaves*
WAIT! Come back with my hobo stuff!!!!!
*Runs into Phoenix* Oh, hey Phoenix, I heard your voice and thought that I-*sees Phoenix's face and clothes* OH, you're not Phoenix...
Um, um, that's right, you saw nothing!!!! *runs away*
Who was that?

---

Dullahan1 Presents: Phoenix Finds the True Meaning of Christmas!!! The Last Episode!

*peeks into Gant's living room* Uhh..... hello??? Anyone here??? *walks in* Umm.... I was told there would be food here and.... *sees a camera facing the viewers and pokes it* What is this contraption here??? Hmm.... camera??? Am I on?? Oh jeez! Am I on??? I gotta make myself look decent!!!! *spits in hands and uses both nasty hands to slick his hair back*

Hiya there pal!!! The name is Detective Dick Gumshoe!!! Uh.... now what exactly am I supposed to do now??? Uh....

I'm confused. Sorry for being such a bad host and all....... I'm hungry...

*walks in* Oh Manny.... I'm so sorry for the immortalization of....*notices Gumshoe*

Why Detective!!!! How do you do??? Did you come over to play with me??? I got some handcuffs in the bedroom and... you look mighty confused there Detective.

I thought that there was supposed to be food here pal. What's the camera for? Are we on the Food Channel? Hi mom!!!

Oh ho ho ho ho!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I mean.... no Detective. This here.... I've been using this camera for many purposes. If you come in at 10 tonight, you may see a special treat. As of now though, I've been here using the camera to tell of the many tales of my youth.... and of a hot sexy spiky haired man..... hmm.... I forget..... what was this camera used for???

Hey... I found a diary here and...

*takes diary* Ahh... yes!!! My story book!!! I was telling a story and reading it out loud, hopefully to reach a good part. I hear it gets quite juicy, but so far, I've been disappointed. I'm on the last chapter and I've still found nothing. Maybe the last part is a whole.... oh, I hope I'm getting the viewers at home horny!!! Now to read the last chapter!!!

YAY!!! Story time!!!
---------------------------------------

*in the middle of a frozen wasteland by a candy cane shaped pole, four icicles are standing out, completely frozen*

*a little child walks by and sees our heroes frozen by the pole. He touches the pole and out pops a compartment with a button. He pushes the button and the whole area suddenly flashes white*

Hours later....

*wakes up in bed* Ugh... wow....what a nightmare... I... *looks to his left and right* Phew!!! Thank god!!! I swear if I have another one of those dreams where I wind up sleeping with Edgeworth, Maya, Larry, Grossberg, Gant, or a whole orgy full of every person I have ever met in my forsaken life, so help me I...

*pops out from the sheets* Hiya Mr. Nick!!! Have a good sleep???

NO!!!! Back away from me you nightmarish demon!!!! I'm a virgin!!! I didn't sleep with you! I didn't sleep with anyone! I'M PURE!!!! PURE!!!!!!!!!!!

.......... What's a virgin?

Excuse me for a minute..... *heads to the bathroom and starts banging his head against the mirror until it breaks. He then comes back in with a bleeding forehead* Ahh... much better.... wait a sec, this isn't my room.

Yep!!! We are in Santa Claus' house!!!

Who??? Uh... Pearls, hate to break it to you, but Santa isn't real.

Yes he is, that kitty cat told me so.

*looks at a chair with a cat on it* You mean that one....?

Yes. He talks and he said that he wanted to be my best friend. FOREVER!!! Can you believe it Mr. Nick? I have never had a best friend forever before!!! Isn't that amazing?!?

Yes you dissillusioned child. Now let's get out of here.

NO!!!! I WANNA MEET SANTA!!!

Heck no!!! I wanna go home!!! I betcha we're just in some rapist's home who has just been giving you alcohol.

That's not true!!! It's not true!!! Don't lie to me Mr. Nick!!! Don't lie to me!!!

Yes, please don't lie to her. It's very rude you know.

Oh don't worry, I'm not.....

CRAP!!!! I'm intoxicated too!!!!!

No, you are quite fine. I am Santa's pet cat. My name is Easter Bunny. Yes, that's right. I am THE Easter Bunny. I bet you're quite surprised that I'm not a rabbit, right? Alot of people are. Easter was named after me of course. It's because I am Santa's most loyal pet.

And let me guess, he has a dog named Halloween???

No, her name is Arbor.... y'know, as in Arbor Day??? Yea, she's not Santa's favorite so her holiday sucks.

This has got to be a nightmare....

*comes in and breaks open the door* NICK!!!! NICK!!!!! NICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHUT UP MAYA AND STOP YELLING IN MY EAR!!!! I'M RIGHT HERE!!!!

Oh.... me and WP.... went to the elves workshop!!! It was magical!!! Wanna go see it???

*walks in* It was quite a sight Mr. Wright. Much fun indeed.

I don't wanna see anything, I want to go home!!!

Oh c'mon Mystic Maya!!! Take me!!!! *runs off with Maya to the workshop*

I see you met Easter Bunny.

I'm not buying any of this mess. It's getting too freaking annoying.

Maybe I can clear up your doubts.

Who are you???

President's Day???

I am Santa's immortal wife. My name is Valentine.

Oh of course!!! And I'm Thanksgiving and Will here is St. Patrick! It's just a big holiday palooza!!! Yeah, my doubts are all cleared up now!!! I truly believe! Now let's get the crap out of here.

B...Bu...But, we haven't met Santa yet!!! You can't leave until you've met Santa!!!

Yes. My husband will be here soon! You have to stay! Then all of your doubts will wash away.

I doubt it.

They will wash away.

I doubt it.

They WILL wash away.

Yes, they WILL wash away Mr. Wright!!!!

I'm surrounded by idiots.

My name is Valentine.

I rest my case.

He's here!!! My husband is here!!!! You must meet him!!!

I didn't hear anyone come in....

Of course not!!! He's magical!!! He teleports inside to his house!!! How else do you think he can deliever presents all in one night???

I get it!!!! I'm being punked, right??? Ok!!! I get it!!! Game over!!! What??? I'm not getting punked? Candid Camera then??? Am I on Candid Camera??? Ha ha ha... you guys are so funny!!!!

Come meet Santa!!! *grabs Phoenix's hand*

This can only go on for so long....

WEEEE!!!! Santa!!! I'm gonna pee my pants!!!!

*in the next room*

Nick!!! You will not believe it!!! We know who Santa is!!!!

Congrats...

No no no no no no no!!!! You know him too!!!! You met him before!!!

Of course I have..... this whole thing is a joke.

Ho ho ho!!! Merry uh..... well...... its not Christmas yet, but uh... hey there friends!!!

The judge.... why the crap would they get the judge involved???

Oh no. I am Santa. Judging is just what I do as a side job. How else do you expect me to pay all those elves to do their labor??? It's good to see you again Phoenix Wright.

So senile....

Oh, I just pretend to be senile, I am quite sane because I am...

CAN IT WITH THIS CHARADE!!!! GET A LIFE!!!!

You doubt me, eh??? Will, what do you wish for???

I want people to like me.

They already do!

Yay!!! It worked!!!

Oh come on now!!!

Maya, what would you like???

Duh, what else???

*hands Maya a burger*

Like I didn't see that coming.....

Little Pearl, what would you like???

I want..... let's see...... I want so many things!!! Can I get 100 New Steel Samurai Toys so I can share them with my friends???

Of course. *snaps fingers and one hundred toys appear in the air and fall to the ground as if by magic*

What the heck?!?!?! Special effects???

Something seems to be troubling you Phoenix.

Ask him what we came here for Nick!!! Ask him the true meaning of Christmas!!!!

May as well play along. What is the true meaning of Christmas???

Quite easy. I invented Christmas to celebrate the life of my deceased son.

Jesus?

No..... his name was Christmas Claus.

........................

Poor boy had such a poor heart.... he loved to give gifts and he was such a good boy. The smile on his face when he received gifts was the happiest day of my life. When he died, I decided that all parents should have the happy feeling I felt, so I decided that on Christmas Eve that I would deliever presents to all the good boys and girls to make their parents happy. I love the day so much!!!!

So its about family AND presents.... I never heard that answer before.... can we go home now?

Is that truly your wish?

Duh.

Alright then. *snaps fingers and the room goes white*

*standing in his bedroom* HOLY CRAP!!!! How did I get here??? It WAS Santa!!! HOLY CRAP!!! I GOTTA TELL PEOPLE!!! I GOTTA TELL THEM ALL!!!!! *jumps out of the window and starts running down the street* THE JUDGE IS SANTA CLAUS!!! THE JUDGE IS SANTA CLAUS!!!!!

--------------*1 year later*--------------
And that's why I was admitted into the psychiatric ward for mental retardation.

I'm a helicopter. Moo.

Yes.... I too, am a helicopter. I too.....
-------------------------------------------

T...That's it? Where's the porno??? Where is my hot naked sweaty scenes???

Thanks for the story and the milk and cookies!!! Bye pal!!! *walks out*

Wait!!! I was going to rape you and..... milk and cookies??? *looks at kitchen* NO!!!! He destroyed my kitchen!!!! WHY!!???? What did I do to deserve this?????!?!?!?
------------*7 years later*------------------

And that's why I became a child rapist....

But, you were always a child rapist....

Shut up and bend over.

But I'm not...

Don't make me repeat myself.

Yes sir.

The End.

---

LOL LOL LOL LOL

Wow, you can come up with really good gags.

YOUUUUU!
Hobohodo in his box
Wants a dollar for some lox
Watch him object for fifty cents
that hobo-man now broke
Now watch him BEEEEG
Now he OBJEEEECTS
Now watch him BEEEEG
Now he OBJEEEECTS
(repeat)
Hobohodo stealz your dough
But he ain't wastin' it on hos
SUPERHOBO OH!
Then watch him object for your cash
Super dirty, watch him pwn
Pwning on dat Justice boy
When he does the hobo beg
He holds out his hand for fifty cents
(TAKE THAT)
He's pwning on your n00b ass
and if he gets objecting
then you'll realize that he's badass
catch him at the local grocer
yes he objects every day
Apollo gets mad cuz
"that's why I'm a hobo, kid"
[Chorus]
He's walkin' on the street
watch him find something to eat
He'll pass his cup to you
then he'll pass it to that dude
Prosecutorz wanna be him
Hobohodou, he's the man
they be lookin' at his hat
Saying "oh my God I want that"
Watch him object (watch him object)
Beg (Beg)
Let's go walking (walking)
Nope, you can't walk with him
Apollo don't do it like him
Justice try to do it like him
But CR says "No way, he's a wimp!" (Jk, Justice)
[DOUBLE CHOURS =D]

And that was my accomplishment for the day.

*Location: Gant's House*

*Phoenix is on the couch by the fire, with Maya's head resting in his lap. Edgeworth is in an armchair knitting, because he's gay like that.*

I'M NOT GAY, YOU FUCKIN' A!

*...Godot is in front of a HDTV, playing Assassin's Creed.*

*listening to iPod, singing along*
...yesterday, 'FaketheFunk tried to pull a knife on me
because I told him Phoenix/Maya is my OTP
this author shit is the life for me
and all the other guys just despise me because...

These chicks don't even know the name of my 'fic
But they all on me for my 13 inch dick
If I feel nice, I'll let them have a small lick
All because I'm the lead author of my 'fic.

Your dick is not 13 inches.

And you can prove this how? Have you even seen it?

....no.

Then keep your mouth shut.

Where the hell is Gant and Gumshoe?

Gumshoe is in front of Gant's old TV playing with an Xbox360 controller.

*in front of a static TV* Wheee. I am the master snow globe maker!

And what about Gant?

Well, he isn't here! Isn't that good enough?

No, because A: we need him to do the show and B: who knows what havoc he will wreak if he is in the outside world.

Bitch, will you shut the fuck up, I'm trying to kill bitches here. NO, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU COINS, HO! GET OUT MY FACE BEFORE I SHANK YOUR ASS, BITCH! HOW 'BOUT YOU COME SUCK MY DICK AND I'LL FEED YO' ASS FOR A WHOLE FREAKIN' WEEK!

He's at his job.

YEAH, I TOLD YOU I'D SHANK YOU, BITCH! BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN!

Godot, calm down, it's just a game...

FUCK YOU, TRITE! I WAS TRYING TO ASSASSINATE THIS GUY EARLIER AND THESE SPECIAL ED FUCKERS COME UP TO ME THINKING IT'S A BOXING RING. NEXT THING I KNOW, KING RICHARD'S ARMY IS CRAMMING THEIR DICKS UP MY ASS, BITCH!

Gant got part time work at the mall....

Ohh fuck, IT'S THE DAMASCUS 5-0. YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS, BITCH! I'LL PIMP SLAP YOU BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM.

Godot, that is where they came from.

Quiet, Trite, I'm playing video games.

FOR THE LOVE OF RA, PLEASE DON'T IGNORE MEEEEEEEE!

Great, it's that bitch Ron Dyluck, or whatever the fuck his name is.

Ron, what the hell are you doing here.

Ohh, it's still me, Chinese Infantry. Except ever since Trials and Tribulation made it to the 'States, I've been feeling weird. I've been getting whinier, and and sometimes I trail off in my sentences...

That'll wear off once the joke gets old anyways, what were you saying.

Gant's working part time at the mall during the Christmas season.

But Gant has all these cool gadgets, such as an Xbox360, an HDTV, a computer loaded with top of the line hardware, a cappucino machine that create the perfect cup of coffee based on what you are thinking of...

Which, by the way, is the only reason I hang out with you Edgeworthfuckers. I'd much rather be at my crib chillin' wit' my hos.

...and a hot tub.

Yeah, and Gant doesn't even give a shit when we use it.

WAIT, DON'T TELL ME HE'S WORKING AS A...

I know what you are thinking, and you are wrong.

HUH?

DAMMIT! YOU MADE MY GUY DIE.

He's not working as a mall Santa because that joke would be too obvious. That, and Lyssie would kill me if I made another Gant raep joke...

Then pray tell me, where is he working?

Victoria's Secret...

HUH?

Well, you see, normally, he's only bisexual for children, but during December, he becomes fully bisexual...

Could Gant's sexuality possibly get any weirder?

I heard during the 30th of February he becomes a heterosexual who does community service.

There's no such date, you dumb fuck, not even on leap years.

If there was, maybe there would be one day he doesn't put his wee-wee in my poopy hole.

*meanwhile, at the mall*

Young woman, I will need to measure your boob size before I can pick out the correct bra for you *starts groping customer's breasts*

Teehee, are you sure that's how you measure boob size.

HO HO, MAH GIRL! I AM A LICENSED BOOBOLOGIST! I SPECIALIZE IN BREASTS, MY DEAR!

Ohh. But be gentle, will ya.

*20 minutes of meaningless boob molestation later* I've got just the bra you need *returns with an extremely skimpy bra, which barely covers the nipples*

Are you sure that itty bitty bra could cover these breasts. *squeezes them*

*Gets a hard on* Less questions, more money.

*Pays* teehee, I can't waaait to try this on *leaves*

You know, there are other bras we sell.

ADRI, MAH GIRL, I WISH TO GIVE ONLY THE BEST TO OUR CUSTOMERS!

You've sold the same damn bra to every single girl that's walked in here. You even sold it to that guy who had a fetish for wearing women's underwear.

*Walks in* Bitch, sell me underwear, or get whipped.

*Wraps arms around Franny* Oooh, why don't you step into the changing room and I'll help you try on a few things.

*Goes with Adrian to...ohh who am I kidding, they are having lesbian sex in a changing room.*

*Walks in* Do you guys sell panties that are the size of a small country? You see, my wife is covered with moles...

Ho ho, Payne, MAH BOI! YOU'RE SHOPPING AT THE WRONG STORE. HOWEVER *grabs Payne's ass* I MIGHT BE ABLE TO PICK YOU OUT A G-STRING THAT WILL SHOW OFF YOUR FINE ASS.

If I wasn't such a loser, I'd complain...

*back at Gant's house*

Man, lesbian women are so lucky. They can both shop from and have alone time to the Victoria's Secret catalog. HOW DO THEY DO IT?

I have no idea. However, I do know that we can't start the show without Gant.

I'M HOME FROM WOOOORK!

...not that it's a bad thing.

I don't want to hear about how it went, so don't better telling.

Dammit, I was winning too.

You say that about every game you play every time we interrupt. Now proceed with the nudity, we start in five minutes.

*Happiness Punch* Hey guys.

What the hell is Dessie doing with you in the author's seat.

Ohh, that's Happi, she's currently using her body. She's been real nice to me lately, so I'm letting her watch the show from the author's chair. Now get to it. But first, a commercial...

*commercial time*

This Christmas, from Victoria's Secret, the one store which women shop from and men masturbate to, comes the ultimate Christmas present...

*Light shines on her, revealing her wearing nothing but a pair of panties. Her arms are being used to cover her breasts*

Our very own brand of Magical Panties. As seen used by the famous magician Trucy Wright, not only does it make a very sexy surprise for a special someone, but you can draw almost anything from there. Feel like getting a magic show as well as a striptease. Then these magic panties may just be the perfect Christmas surpise.

*Barges in* I OBJECT TO ALL OF THIS!

Cut! Who the hell is this fruit?

Sir, it's not what it looks like.

No, I'm not here about the topless underage girl, I'm here about what you just said.

...and that would be...

The fact that you assumed that the viewer celebrated Christmas...

ALRIGHT, I'LL CHANGE IT TO "HOLIDAY SURPRISE", NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.

...Just wanted to make sure you were including everyone *leaves*

...well that blew the commercial.

I'm going to go have lesbian sex with Pearl *leaves*

Want me to transform into a chick so we can have lesbian sex?

Sure, I'm bored anyways...

*Commercial ends*

Chinese Infantry presents (a present to all the people at Court Records, because I love you guys so much)...

FOUR GUYS (and one freeballer) NAKED IN A HOT TUB!
CHRISTMAS EPISODE!

An unrehearsed discussion group that jumped on the "Christmas Episode" bandwagon...

Featuring the followings group members:

( ) Miles Edgeworth: Who wants a tea set and a boyfriend for Christmas...

Ok, the whole "Edgeworth is gay" joke is starting to get old...

( ) Maya Wright: Who wants to go to White Castle for Christmas...

No, I want to buy it out, get it right...

( ) Damon Gant: Who wants a son/daughter for Christmas...

I believe the correct term is "six-year-old male/female sex slave"...

( ) Godot: Who wants a pretty princess dress for Christmas...

BITCH, I'LL PIMP SLAP YOU FOR BUTTING INTO MAH LIST!

( ) Dick Gumshoe: Who wants a raise for Christmas...

And maybe for Franziska to not force me to wear antlers and parade me around the office on a leash...

And now, the group moderator, who wants nothing more than for the world to have less idiots...



HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

Who the fuck's this bitch?

Is there a problem?

A problem? I, ROMAINE LETTUCE, WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS DISCRIMINATION.

Uhh, I'm multi-racial like you wouldn't believe.

Not that, it's the title. "Christmas Episode"! Do you realize how offensive that is to people who don't celebrate Christmas?

Man, even during a time of joy, some bitch will find a way to get his panties in a bunch.

Yes, I fully realize that, which is why I went with calling this a Christmas Episode.

Huh?

Personally, I am fed up with being told "OHH, CALL IT A HOLIDAY TREE, HANG UP A HOLIDAY WREATH, CALL IT A HOLIDAY EPISODE!" No fucking way. I celebrate Christmas, so I'm calling this a Christmas Episode, because I'm not a pussy who is afraid to say "Merry Christmas!" Anyone who gets offended can kiss my white, black, etc. etc ass.

I don't believe, why, I ought to...

If you could just step over to a side for a bit, we'll speak with you later.

But...*is shoved off to the side*

...as I was going to say, welcome to the FG(AOF)NIHT Christmas Episode. Since this is a Christmas Episode, we will be discussing the many mysteries surrounding this joyous and somewhat over commercialized holiday. So let's get this over with. Issue number 1: Rudolph's red nose. What drugs was Rudolph's mother doing while she was pregnant? I'm sure as shit that ain't genetic. Edgeworth, would you enlighten us your views...

The other reindeer were right to shun him because he was imperfect. Also, the song is wrong. Instead of asking him to guide his sleigh, Santa shot him with a 12 gauge for being imperfect.

Edgeworth, you are a depressing fuck.

Actually, that's what Manfred told me.

Well, then he's a depressing fuck. Maya...

One time, Pearly channeled Rudolph's mother. She swore that she wasn't doing anything, but I called bullshit. She never did find out though...

Nice effort though *kisses*. Gant...

OHH MAN, I WAS SO THERE WITH A VIDEO CAMERA WHILE RUDOLPH'S PARENTS WERE HAVING SEX! DO YOU...

No, we don't want a copy of the video.

I was going to ask if you wanted me to have drunken, drugged up bondage sex with you so we could create a red nosed child.

GOD NO, YOU SICK FUCK!

Stop pretending like you wouldn't enjoy it, bitch. Just pretend he's Edgeworth if it really is that bad.

Godot, spare me your usual remarks about my sexuality and just give me your opinion.

I asked Victor Kudo once why he had a red nose. He said it was because his father smacked him in the nose with a hammer one too many times as a kid.

Yeah, but you see, Rudolph was born this way, and his nose is shiny.

Ohh...Then it was definitely a combination of LSD and Crystal Meth...

...Gumshoe...

My mommy told me there was fairy dust in his nose!

Well, either your mommy is an idiot or you're a gullible twit. Or both. Issue number 2: Santa Claus. We all know during Christmas Eve at night, he comes down your chimney, places presents under the tree and puts trinkets in your stockings, eats milk and cookies and goes back up. That's all very fine and dandy, ignoring the fact that he's a fatass trying to fit down a thin chimney. However, what really has got me wondering is how he does it AT LEAST A DOZEN MILLION TIMES, ALL IN ONE NIGHT! How is that shit even possible? I don't even think there are even that many MILLISECONDS in a night. Also, HOW DOES HE FILL A DINKY-ASS SLEIGH WITH THAT MANY PRESENTS? Edgeworth...

Manfred von Karma is Santa Claus.

Let me guess, he told you that, right?

No, I just think it's the only possible explanation. How else could such perfection be achieved?

Let's ask Maya...

I asked Santa at the mall once. He told me that Santa is not just one person, but multiple people, who each cover different regions of world. How else could that many presents reach that many households in such a small frame of time.

Those people are called "The Childrens' Parents", bitch.

Godot, shut the fuck up. Maya, nice explanation, love. Gant, your thoughts.

This is why I don't get a job as a mall Santa. No amount of child ass is worth having to lug that much shit around to that many houses all night.

Uhh...(Nevermind, I think it's best that Gant never lands that job) Godot?

Like I said before. Santa ain't real, it's just the kids parents that do that. Personally, I think the whole idea of Santa Claus is bullshit. Why do we even lie to our children like this in the first place...

Yak yak yak...Gumshoe...

He does it by the magic of fairy dust.

That was your answer to the last question, and it's just as wrong. Issue number 3: Who would win in a fight: Jesus Christ or Santa Claus? Personally, my money is on Jesus Christ. Your thoughts...

Santa Claus...

Santa...

SANTA AND HIS HOT FAT ASS!

Santa, bitch.

OHH CMON? NO ONE THINKS JESUS WOULD WIN?

Jesus would be too busy having buttsex with Judas to even fight back, kinda like how you are often too busy having buttsex with Edgeworth.

Godot, not only is what you said inappropriate, but the Jesus/Judas pairing is completely illogical.

Not according to the fangirls...

Yeah, well, they'll pair up any set of males given the chance...

Fairy Dust!

That's not even a contestant, you dumb fuck.

...ohh....

I've have enough of this. ALL OF THIS CHRISTMAS STUFF IS EXCLUSIVE OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO DON'T CELEBRATE!

Ohh, for Ra's sake...

THIS FUNNY IS AN AFFRONT TO ALL THOSE WHO CELEBRATE HANNUKAH, KWANZA, OR ANOTHER HOLIDAY! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS. I'M GOING TO CONTACT MY LOCAL CONGRESSMAN AND I WILL...

I've had enough of this. CYBERDEMON! KILL!

*Blows Romaine Lettuce the fuck up*

Yaaay! Thanks, CI! That guy was annoying.

Thank Ra he's dead. Phoenix, please continue...

*SIGH* Issue number 4: Mistletoe. Why do people kiss under it. I'm not saying it's a bad tradition, I'm saying why? Edgeworth, your thoughts...

Manfred von Karma never believed in kissing...

I'm not surprised. I won't ask you further. Maya...

Look above you, Nick!

Huh?

*Kisses Phoenix*

Awww. Thanks Maya. Gant, your opinion.

At my house, whenever two people were under the mistletoe, THEY HAD HOT SEX! ONE TIME, MY GRANDFATHER JACKED ME OFF WITH TIRE IRON UNDERNEATH THE MISTLETOE.

Well, that was one piece to the puzzle I'd rather not have heard... Godot, please take the floor. NOW.

I dunno.

I said Godot take the floor, not Gumshoe.

I DID TAKE THE FLOOR, BITCH! AND I DON'T KNOW. AND HONESTLY, I DON'T CARE! CHECK WIKIPEDIA, WHY DON'T YOU.

Sorry, but I'd rather not go to a page where the only information displayed is "Mike is a faggot." Gumshoe...

Mistletoe contains Fairy Dust!

ENOUGH ABOUT THE DAMN FAIRY DUST!

NOW LISTEN HERE. WHEN I WAS A KID, I WATCHED THE MOVIE A CHRISTMAS STORY! IT WAS SO GOOD, I HAVE MY FIRST ORGASM OVER IT. THERE WAS CUM ALL OVER THE LIVING ROOM, BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT. THAT CHRISTMAS, I ASKED FOR A RED RYDER B.B. GUN AND GOT IT. THEN I BLEW MY EYE OUT. AFTER I JACKED OFF AND ORGASMED TO THE PAIN OF IT, I TRIED TO GET A NEW EYE. THEN, MY EYE GREW BACK. DO YOU KNOW HOW? FAIRY DUST! SO FAIRY DUST ISN'T JUST SOME BULLSHIT REASON I KEEP MAKING UP, IT'S A TRUE MIRACLE WORKER!

...I stopped listening at the word now. CI, why is there mistletoe above your head.

I planted it there for the sole purpose of doing something special at the end of the funny.

...and that would be.

*Takes Happi in his arms and locks lips with her*

...I should have guessed.

*Briefly breaks kiss* Phoenix, end the episode, we need our alone time. *locks lips with Happi again*

Coming up next episode, assuming that bearded guy didn't bring reinforcements, we will venture into even more exciting topics that will possibly scar you for life, kinda like seeing Santa Claus in a thong bikini. MEETING ADJOURNED!

---

*sigh*
Aw what's wrong Nick?
I'm not feeling too well Maya...
What!?? Why? Uh oh...you didn't see 2girls1cup did you?
2girls1cup? What's that?
...Uh. Forget it.
No way! Now I'm curious! *runs into the other room*
No Nick!! Don't!!
Oh Maya, how bad can this video be? *turns on his computer*
Don't say I didn't warn you...
*2 minutes later*
AAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! MAYA WTF!!!!???? IS THAT REAL!!!!! AHHH! NO!!
AHHH UHGHHHH....I...I think I'm going to be sick....*runs off into the bathroom*
*laughing hysterically*

*Meanwhile...*

*walking down the street* Huh? That scream.... Hmm... must be another 2girls1cup victim.
: Well hello, Mr. Edgeworth, how are you today?
Sweet holy butter on toast! You're still alive!?
: But of course? Why wouldn't I be?
Well you've only been absent from this thread for 3 months... And why are you acting so strangely?? And wearing...a pink dress?
: *sigh* I'm afraid drinking too many frappuccinos has caused me to go haywire, out of control. Not very ladylike you know. But I've been going to a caffeine therapy group and using a caffeine patch and I feel wonderful! I haven't had a frappuccino in months!
So you mean to tell me, that you have no craving for a frappucinno ever?
Not at all! I feel so refreshed I can run into the middle of the street and sing!! LADEEDADELALALA!!
...right. Well I'll just be on my way...
I say Mr. Edgeworth, where are you heading??
Er...I may stop by Wright's place just to-
: Oh my! Mr. Wright! I say, Mr. Edgeworth? Do you mind if I tag along??
...I don't know...I...
: Why thank you! I know, while we walk over there, let us sing a song!
....Mother...help me...

*Back at Wright's Apartment*

MAAAAAYAAAAAA!! I'M GONNA KIIILLL YOOOOU!!
EEP!!! *runs off* But why??!! I was warning you about that video!!!
*chases* That didn't stop me from looking!!
HOW THE HELL IS THAT MY FAULT!!??
Hey Mystic Maya? What's this 2girls1cup video about?

N-Nothing Pearly! You wouldn't be interested!
Y-Yeah! What she said!
Aww! But I really wanna know-
*doorbell rings*
PEARLY GO GET THE DOOR!!
Fine fine...*opens the door*

Save me! SAVE ME!!
*sigh* Edgeworth? What now? You didn't see 2girls1cup did you?
No! Worse! SHE won't stop singing folk music!!
: "High on the hill with the lonely goatherd, yodalayeeyodalayeeyodalayeewhoooo~!!"
WTF!!??
: Why Mr. Wright and Ms. Fey! You look pleasantly surprised to see me! Have you two gotten married yet?
...No.
: Ah well. Better luck next time eh? Would you like some cookies? I baked them myself!
...Edgeworth. What in the hell happened to her?
I'm not sure myself. I guess the lack of caffeine over the past couple of months has caused this change in her.
Well is there any way to bring her back??
Maybe if we gave her a frappuccino. But I'm not sure ho-
Oh hey cookies!! *OM NOM NOMM*
....Thanks for your support old pal.
Hmm...so maybe if we give her a frappuccino she'll return to the way she was!
Yeah Maya. IF she takes the frappuccino.

*Cut to Starbucks*
Hey Lyss look! A frappuccino! Filled to the brim with chocolately, sugary goodness!
: Oh Heavens no! Such a vulgar drink! I'm happy with my pure, untainted water thank you. Would you care for a cookie??
Well...that failed.
Completely... But hey, cookies!! *OM NOM NOMM* Hey these are good!

*back at Wright's apartment*
Ugh! There's gotta be another way!!
I dunno Maya, it's not too bad having Lyss be like this.
Yeah. It feels great not having some hyper, caffeinated mary-sue disturbing the peace with a bazooka gun. Plus, cookies!
Yeah that's great and all. But do you really want to be stuck with someone singing folk songs and decorating the whole house with pink the whole time??
Oh Maya, I think you're just jealous.
I am NOT jealous!!
Although I COULD deal without the folk songs...
Yeah and-
Wait, what do you mean "decorating the whole house with pink"!?
*looks around to see the wall covered with pink flowered wallpaper, the chairs covered with pink cushions, the couch covered with a pink blanket, etc.*
Ok...you win.
But if she won't drink a frappuccino, what do we do?
Hmm, Edgeworth. Try not to think on how to make her drink a frappe, think on how we can make her have the DESIRE to drink a frappe...

*busts through the wall* OH YEAH!!

SUP BITCHES?
G-Godot...you...
What? Surprised to see me?
You...
YOU FRIGGIN' ASSHOLE!!! WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM BREAKING THROUGH MY WALL LIKE THAT!!?? ARE YOU F**KING INSANE!!? YOU BETTER FIX THAT WALL RIGHT NOW YOU HEAR ME!!?? IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I HAVE TO KEEP UP WITH PAYING MY MONTHLY RENT!! YOU HAVE TO GO AND BREAK MY F**KING WALL TOO!!?? HUH??! HUH!!!??? DON'T MAKE ME GET MY BELT OUT!!!
...S-Sorry... I was just...
JUST WHAT!!? YOU WERE JUST GONNA BREAK THROUGH MY WALL!!?? CUZ THAT'S JUST WHAT YOU F**KING DID!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW GODOT!!?? ARE YOU HAPPY THAT NOW YOU HAVE TO GO AND PAY FOR THE DAMAGES!!?? CUZ THAT'S WHY YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT!! YOU HEAR ME!!!??
Y-Yes sir....
GOOD!! YOU BETTER DAMN HEAR ME!!!
Now where was I...
Oh yeah. Sup Godot?
Nuttin' just chillin'. Huh? Oh hey! It's that frappuccino-obsessed bitch from last time!
I beg your pardon!? You shall address me as "Lady" my good sir Godot! And as for frappuccinos, I have given up on them.
..Wait. Wait wait. Did I just hear you right? You've "given up" on frappuccinos?? Just like that?? Ha...HAHAHAHAHA!!
I say, what is so amusing??
Amusing?? I'll tell you what's amusing! What's amusing is that I've won! That black coffee is really superior to frappuccinos!!
...Excuse me?
Psst...hey Nick! I think we've found our source onto returning Lyss to normal!
I think you may be right!
Don't you get it?? You've given up on your precious frappuccinos. They were weak, unlike my precious coffee which I hold onto dearly. It proves that I'm superior to you!
No...that's not it...I...
What?? You gave up to "cleanse" yourself? HA! Don't make me laugh! What you drink and what you do is a part of you! Giving up your frappuccinos, means you gave up yourself.
....No...
Yes. It looks like coffee is the winner-

F**K NO!!!!
*rips off her dress revealing her normal attire*
Catch! *throws her a frappe*
*takes the frappe and drinks it* ARGHHH!!! GODOT!! HOW DARE YOU SAY YOUR COFFEE IS MORE SUPERIOR THAN MY FRAPPUCCINO!!?? FRAPPUCCINOS ARE FULL OF ICED CAFFEINATED-SUGARY CHOCOLATE GOODNESS!! THAT'S 100 TIMES BETTER THAN YOUR BORING HOT COFFEE!! *whips out bazooka*
OSHI--
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM??!! *fires bazooka*
NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!
I AM LYSS AND THE POWER OF FRAPPUCCINOS WILL ALWAYS BE FAR MORE SUPERIOR THAN YOUR BLAND COFFEE!!
*breaks through the roof* LOOKS LIK GODOT IS BLasting off agaaaaaaaiiiiinnn~~.... *twinkle*
Why that little...
GODDAMNIT!! FIRST YOU BREAK THROUGH MY WALL AND NOW MY ROOF!!?? WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM!!?? YOU BETTER BE PAYING FOR BOTH OF THEM DO YOU HEAR ME!!!??
*huff* *huff* GOD that felt good!!
Well at least you're back to normal!
That's for sh*t sure!! Why the hell was I thinking going for those stupid therapy classes in the first place!? I can't LIIIVE without my frappuccinos!
Well good. Because if I was to hear one more folk song, I think I'd actually turn straight!

I-I meant gay! "Straight"? Haha! How silly! Of course I'm straight! Hahah...I'll be going now..ha... Where the hell is my wallet...oh! There it is! Ha...
Wait a second...what happened to that photo...?
Photo?
O-Oh it's nothing! Alright, I'm off! Take care! *walks out*
Well now...that was an exhausting day.
You said it! Let's go to Starbucks and get some frappuccinos!
Ok! Hey I just thought of something. Where's Pearly been all his time?
Hmm...last time I remember...she was in the room where the computer was...
...
...
...
...
Ohhh crap...
Hey Mystic Maya? Mr. Nick?? I don't see what's so bad about this video. They're just eating peanut butter out of a cup!
NOOOOOOO!! PEARLY!!!

And so, another day, another funny.
I'm back beeyatches.

...Didja miss me?

Everyone else: BOOOO!!

ILU TOO <3

*Meanwhile*


Muahahah...now Edgeworth... Now I found the ULTIMATE EVIDENCE that will prove to the world on who you really are!! *pulls out a photo* :

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

To be continued...

---

*sitting on the couch, watching TV*
*walks in the room* Miles, you're still watchin' TV? God, you've been sittin there since I left!
Gyuh, I've been watching a VH1 special about Gwen Steffani. I don't know what a 'hollabackgirl' is, all I know is I want her dead. Hey could you hand me the remote?
You know, you've been laying around the house a little too much lately. Why don't you get a part time job like Gumshoe used to have?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*standing behind counter at Burger King*
Ding, fries are done.
Ding, fries are done.
Ding, fries are done.
Ding, fries are done.
I gotta run.
I gotta run.
I gotta run.
I gotta run.
I work at Burger King,
making flame brioled whopers,
I wear paper hats.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Ding, fries are done.
Ding, fries are done.
Ding, fries are done.
Ding, fries are done.
I gotta run.
I gotta run.
I gotta run.
I gotta run.
Don't touch the fries and hot fat,
It really hurts bad,
and so do skin rashs.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Wait for the bell,
Don't hear the bell,
Where is the bell?
Wait for the bell.
Ding, fries are done.
Diing, friies aaaare doooooooonne.

---

On a very special episode of... HOLY SHIT THERE'S A COW HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE OFFI-

OH MY FU- AUGH!!!

Weeeeehehehelll now, lookie what Mama Maya got today! A Feenie Bovinie Sandwichenie!

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!

------------------------------

---

Diz tiem, no coffeh fer meh. FUUUUUDDDGGEE ALL YEAR ROUND!!

Oh no! He's now a chocoholic!!

---

Is... is this a Soulja Boy parody? Cause if it is... EPIC WIN!!

---

Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, wait a second...


And so, the space-time continuum was destroyed. Again.

---

The warped mind of Sklarvv brings to you on this cold Cristmas Night... A tale of love with lyrics by Justin Timberlake. Oh hell yes.

A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS BOX

Hey girl, I got somethin' real important to give you
So just sit down and listen...
...!?
Girl you know we've been together such a long, long time...
-Such a long time!-
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line
Wooow, You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide
Open wide!
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind
What is on my mind!
(starting to worry now)
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside
It's my Dick in a box! IT'S IN A BOX!

Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don't mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin' real
Wanna get you somethin' from the heart
Somethin' special girl
It's my Dick in a box, my Dick in a box girl!
It's my Dick in a box, my Dick in a box girl!
See I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin' (girl)
And I got just the one, somethin' to show ya that you are second to none
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It's easy to do just follow these steps
ONE
Cut a hole in a box
TWO
Put your junk in that box!
THREE
Make her open the box...
And that's the way you do it!
It's my Dick in a box...my Dick in a box girl
It's my Dick in a box, my Dick in a box girl
Christmas!
Dick in a box!
Hanukkah!
Dick in a box!
Kwanzaa!
A Dick in a box!
Every single holiday a Dick in a box!
Over at your parent's house a Dick in a box!
Mid day at the grocery store a Dick in a box!
Backstage at the CMA's a Dick in a bo-ox!
yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow~!
A Dick in a box, a Dick in a box, a Di-
ACK! Crap! Where'd he go!?
FUDRUCKERS! And after we spent all that time rehersing...
*comes out of box* I thought it sounded okay...

Merry christmahanakwansakaa, all!

EDIT- to avoid doubleposting


Oh my god, That's great, I can so see him doing that.

---

...........
...........
............
.........
Wait, why is no-

AHHHHH!

*tackles edgey*

*whisper* Shh, wait till he sleeps....

*comes in* Like, am I suppose to come in because like-

Like,


*starts breathing hard*
yeah.
Obje-*passes out from all of the yelling*
Finally, now we can leave! Court is adjourned! *Everybody leaves except for Ini*
Uh, did I, like, miss something?

---

Edgey! Answer your PHOOONE!!!!
*slams phone done*
Hmm.... how can I contact Edgeworth...?
Hey! Yeah! That's it!

---

And that's how I became a....
NO! I'm tired of your stupid hobo jokes!
*ahem* ...and that's how I became a defense attorney.
. . .

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
HAIR ATTACK #49!!! *phoenix* hrmmm.
SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! *dies*
WTF!!!!!



END?:raygun:

---

---

CRAP!! sorry!

---

Ha ha, I have successfully created an army of clones! Now I shall enact my revenge on Phoenix Wright, but first...HOTT CLONE ORGY!!!!

The BBC would like to intrerrupt this funnie to piss you off and generally make things irritating. And now, an Mickey Mouse gas mask.

---

Hey, so...where are all your employees?
Er-hem..they...found a new line of work.
Really? Where?
(meanwhile:)
Coming up next on Nick Jr.!

(Back at the office)
...I don't want to discuss it.

I think there's only one way to describe that funny:

Oh, dear. Is that a bad thing?

No. It's good.

(Its funny. I always think of thins, then I find that you post them before me. Are you some kinda psychic or something?)

---

@Razetora: Great way to introduce the laws of being a defense attorney through a children's educational program that really has nothing to do with law to begin with!!! :D

---

DIEGO'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!

---

(Strategydom)Welcome to....


FOUR MURDERERS (AND ONE ACCOMPLICE) NAKED IN A JAIL CELL!

The cast are...

Damon Gant, rapist, and probably the only one who will enjoy sitting naked!

Redd White, Bling-bling head-head smash-smash, whack-whack, pout-pout, rape-rape, ect. guy!

Frank Sawhit, foam-at-the-mouth sicko that nobody really cares about.

The Boat Shop Caretaker (aka. Yanni Yogi), who owns a perverted parrot!

Sal Manella! LOL YOO NOOBS R IN 4 R3PE!

First, a message to CI, from me. Please don't kill me for this, and I worship your funnies. ALTAIR ROKS!!!!!!!!!!!

Time for some fun!

Oops. *Leaves*

Before we start this amazing horny orgy, I would like to -

WHY DO WE HAVE TO SIT NAKED?!

Strategydom told us to. Anyway, your tasty-looking manhood is glistening...

Too much info!

Sorry, sex slave. Anyway, issue number I: the sexuality of this guy!

Y R YU T3LCING IN R3MAN NUUMERALLS?

Does it matter?...ayup...

Back to topic...

How the **** are we supposed to know that?

Well, luckily, we have an amazing girl (who I would like to have alone time with) here with us to answer it with her knowledge of the Steel Samurai!

Hello. If you have watched episode 4 correctly, you will see the Steel Samurai and the Evil Magistrate -

Buttsex?

I suppose...

Ayup.

Oh, yeah...

*Flashback, before Hammer's murder.*

Hey, Will, want to go and play with my toys?

Of course!

Let me out!

Back in the closet, bitch.

*End flashback*

Halt! This is getting completely mad! End this funny!

Never! We have your greatest treasure!

Dollie!

Nope.

NOO, BIYATKH!

What?

We have your little brother!

SAVE MEH!

Whatever. Rape him or something.

WHOHOO!

No. Help. Save me. *rape*

*boring credits*

And, Chinese Infantry, don't kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

(and now for somthing completely different...)

You know that Johnny Werzner kid - the kid who delivers papers in the
neighborhood? He's a fine kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes
crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he
wanted was a burrow owl, just like his old man.
"Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live".
So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.
Anyway at 10:30 the other night I go out into my yard and there's the Werzner kid looking up in the tree. I said,
"What are you looking for?"
He said, "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping JESUS on a POGOSTICK!
EVERYBODY knows that a burrow owl LIVES. IN A HOLE. IN THE GROUND! Why the hell do you think they
call it a burrow owl, anyway?!"
Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago, the summer my oldest boy Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year? Well this year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said
"Keep your head and arms inside the mixer at all times."
But Bill Jr., he was a DAREDEVIL! Just like his old man. He was leaning out saying,
"Hey everybody! Look at me, look at me!"
POW!
He was decapitated! They found his head over by the snowcone concession!
A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And it's addressed to Bill Jr. And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil?!?"

Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big underground homosexual population - Los Angeles, perfect example.
Look at the soil around LA, Stuart. You can't build on it, you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.
They're building landing strips for gay Martians! *points at * I SWEARTAGOD!
Spiking his coffee is fun~!
You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park...

(Godot objection fingerwaggle smiley by Donnald Serrot)

---

My, my... look at all the new smilies.
RAPE TIME!!!!!!

---

Hold it right th-

YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPERS! *Runs off*

---

Takita....Holy...f***ing....s**t...Nice you remebered but...wow...
What were you expecting?
I have no clue. For some reason I was expecting something about Cooking Mama and Communists.
What?
Sleep deprivation.
Ah...so where do we go from here?
Don't know. We could do another fight for Minuki.
NO!
......So, who do you thing would win: A hurricane, or a bus full of the 1985 Bears? Stipulation: The hurricane is Hurricane Didka.
Who's driving the bus?
Mike Didka.
Gee...that's a toughy...

---

(Strategydom) Prepare for...

FOUR MURDERERS (AND ONE ACCOMPLICE) NAKED IN A JAIL CELL!
JFA STYLE!

Featuring...

Psycho Matt Engarde, slashy at face man!

Acro, the emo king!

Beef Wellington, the con-artist creep!

De Killer, ace assassin!

Where's the last member?

Well, since both of the evil-doers in 2-2 are women, we don't want to make censorship issues due to naked woman.

*Fey Manor*

* + run past naked holding + *

*Back in jail*

And now to our first topic. Is television good, or does it burn out eyeballs? Opinions.

TV is evil, because it distracts people from my manly chest!

TV is good, because it helped me become emo!

I am of two opinions.

As we can't agree, we can watch some TV and think.

*TV switches on Channel 1*

Channel block.

Okay...

*Channel 2*

Channel block.

Alright...

*Channel 3*

Channel block.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!



I'm good.

(Presenter) And now for "Everyone Loves Dahlia"

Dahlia! I'm home!

*brings out shotgun, rips off mask and shoots down Phoenix's throat.*

WHAAA!

**** off.

You're under a vest, pal!

Si, senorita.

What's with the accent, pal?

*knocks camera over. We see (from the floor), Dahlia shooting Meekins twice in the gut, and Gumshoe being impaled on the mike.*

Channel block.

What was that for?

KILLL!

AHHHHHHH!

Murder block.

See? The Wonders of television.

Back to my channel!

Welcome back to Genital Sketches!

YESS! YESS!

Disturbing...

*boring credits*

The End

---

Last edited by Strategydom on Mon Dec 31, 2007 6:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

-7:59 P.M. December 25th, 2014-
-Hope Hospital, Los Angles-
: "Alright nurse, lets begin the opera--"
: "Why hello there, smexy!"
: "Oh... you again.... NURSE! Could you bring 'Dr. Hotti' back to his recovery room."
: "Screw you. He's paying me to bring him around the hospital again. And more than I get in a week's pay at that."
: "Look, we can deal with your issues paycheck later! Right now we have a serious problem on our hands!"
: "What? Funding?"
: "Me?"
: "Random character introductions?"
: "Worse... Jazz-handitis!"
: "HELP!"
: "YARG! If all the kids are doing it, I don't see why I shouldn't!"
: "I'm just here for the raep!"
: "...balls."


Insho: "...and that's when Mimi says "balls". So, what do you think? Is it good?"
: "I dunno... it seems kinda sketchy to me."

---

Insho, your story is awesome!! As always!!!

---

Last edited by Ryu on Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

YES!
What?
They updated the smiley libairy!
Now it's even easier to look like a noob on the internets!
Sweet!
Ow, hey, wait-

Wait, but what the crap does this have anything to do with anything
I dunno, have a cookie
STROOOOOBEEEELIIIGHTTTTT!

---

.....

---

How the hell does this thing keep bouncing back!? Get off! Get off!

Turnabout Red Vs. Blue

Episode (What? is it 5?)


, , *standing on the base looking for *
Lemme get this streight. You gave this guy our flag.
Is that bad?
Bad? Oh, no it's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you help him blow up the whole god dang base!?
There! There he is!
*Pulls out sniper Rifle* Where?
Oh! Yeah! Oh! I got him!
He's sneakin' 'round back behind the cliffs.
He must be one smart guy.
*on the cliffs*
Aw man. I am so freakin lost. Where the hell is the base?
*Back at blue base*
Oh snap. Godot, look at his suit. It's red.
Aw man. That means he's their sargent.
Well, that makes sense. That explains why he got past our defences.
Uh, you know, he came in the back door where you guys were standing.
Yeah. Okay. Let's take him out then.
Roger that. Okay. *Aims right at his head* Say good night, Sarge. *fires 4 shots* *misses all four*
*on the cliffs*
What the!?
*Back at blue base*
Aw, crap.
*Staring at Edgeworth*
What!?
You're really not good with that thing are you?
*on the cliffs*
Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag! Remember!?
*At Blue Base*
Oh, great. Now he's taunting us. That's just embaracing.
Alright! That's it. I've had it! Rookie, you stay here! Me and Godot will head through the teleporter and cut him off at the pass.
Right!
Godot, you ready? Let's go.
There's no way I'm going through that thing.
Godot, we don't have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?
I don't know!? Why would they give us a tank no one know how to drive!?
We already tested the teleporter, remember!?
We through rocks through it!
Yeah? And? So what? They came out the other side didn't they?
Yeah, but they were all hot, and had black stuff all over them.
Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then. You're afraid of a lottle black stuff.
Yes. I am. I'm afraid of a little black stuff.
Godot. *pulls out a more powerful gun* I almost hate to do this.
You wouldn't.
You know, I look at it this way. Either A: We go through there and get the flag back, or B: We stay here, and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.
For the record, I just want you to know, rocks aren't people.
Clearly noted. Now get in there.
CRAP!
Alright... one... two... *jumps through teleporter*
& *staring at the other side*.................................................................................
Huh. He didn't come out the other side...
Yeah. I've uh... I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter. *jumps off of the base* Okay! Rookie, I want you to stay here. I'll be back with the flag.
*At Red Base*
Yeah... I still don't know what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.
*sigh* I'm telling you I heard four shots. Like BAM! BAM! BAM!
Wait a second. That's only three bams.
Bam. *looking through sniper rifle* Wait a second, we have a blue guy on the move out there.
Where's he headed?
Oh, crap. *see's * Wait a minute, Feenie? And he's got something. Looks like... Phoenix, get the Worthog.
Heh, you mean the Puma?

---

: So, what can I do for you... Ini?

: Well Acro. I like, need to talk to you about something like, kind of personal.

: Sure, uh, what is it?

: Like, I took this test and, like, it sorta turns out that I'm technically mentally retarded. And, like, I just wanted to ask, like, how do you deal with it?

: ...Deal with what?

: You know, like, being retarded.

: See here, I'm not retarded, I'm handicapped.

: Oh, well like, now you're just splitting hairs.

: *enters* For the last time Ini, quit the Family Guy plagiarism. We gotta go now. *leaves*

: LALALALALALALALALA!

: Fucking stop it CI!

(CI) : Don't try and stop me from getting extra funds, you bitch.

*somewhat regrets making this random post*

@Rev: Omg, that's great.

Yes, I'm sure of it. The acrobat must be the bad guy, since everybody else here looks like they belong in "little" classes.
I'm a filler
I know. Okay, here's his door
* answers* Hello?
OH CRIP, HE'S A CRAPPLE!

---

WHAT!? I DIDN'T GET ANY NEW SMILIES!?!? BUT...BUT I'M THE NEW STAR! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!
Feh. Face it, Justice, you're not cool enough.
THIS IS BLASPHEMY! JUST WAIT 'TIL MY TOP 8 HEARS ABOUT THIS! *runs off*
Hah. He'll never be cool.
You didn't get any new ones either.
...WHUT!?!?! NO WAY! TO FACEBOOK! *runs off in other direction*
That was a little harsh.
Like I care.