Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (UPDATE 06/26/08)
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As the title implies, I'm going to make a fanfiction with possible more than five chapters since I'm focusing on a case for our favorite attorney.
Honestly, I only joined the forums for ONE, SINGLE-MINDED PURPOSE: TO SHIP FEENIE x IRIS USING A CONTINUATION FIC!!!
I also borrowed writer's permission from one important Mia_Fey for one of her brilliant insights concerning the couple, so I hope my research isn't all for nothing.
Because I really want this fiction to pull through.Anyway, I have to do some more researching and plotbunny-catching to put the story into motion, and on an MS word document sheet, so wish me luck!!!!!!!! :D
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Last edited by Arti_Rei on Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:02 pm, edited 10 times in total.
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (COMING SOON!)
True love is forever.
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On an unrelated note, are you C.M. Kearney at fanfiction.net? It's not important. I'm just curious. :)
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (COMING SOON!)
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and 
have their relationship progress: and what better way than with a continuation fic? :3Random: I'm completely disregarding the events taking place in GS4, otherwise my story would be killed.
Thank you~WE NEED MORE FEENRIS SHIPPERS OVER HERE! :flail flail:
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (COMING SOON!)
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FIND IT HERE, AND LET THE TURNABOUT BEGIN.
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (PROLOGUE UP!)
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (PROLOGUE UP!)
True love is forever.
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (PROLOGUE UP!)
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Don't be fooled by the prologue though...cough...it's just me making up for my lack of being able to turn this whole story into a visual novel. *sob*
I made up for it with a lot of fancy innuendo
As soon as I get chapter one up, I'm pretty sure you'd find that I'm silly enough to use a particular format for the story.
One I hope no one takes badly to. Since I kind of got some readers hooked onto the prologue itself, including you. So forgive me if the first chapter completely rips you from the poetry of the prologue!
I can only promise you that WIT and HUMOR are actually my strongest points when it comes to writing (nowadays!). TY for the review!! =DDDDD
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (PROLOGUE UP!)
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FEENIE X IRIS ON THE GO ^_^
Tell me if it's pathetic please
And just say it: that my writing style is so random, you need more than five arms to grab all types!
Irving wrote:
Don't push my buttons, Buttons!
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER 1 UP!)
My son is bored. Care to play with him?
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER 1 UP!)
True love is forever.
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER 1 UP!)
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I'm actually kind of awkward at the beginning, and yeah. It's starting to unsettle me how quickly the style changed.
I admit there's something flakey about the prologue, then there's chapter 1 that has yet to end with the "To be continued." credit.
I just hope the next chapter lifts some of that uneasiness/discomfort/nausea from the previous.
Well...the least I can do is romanticize the plot? Ha-ha, just kidding!
Tis an honor to have been reviewed by two geniuses.
Now, I shall start working on chappie 1, part 2 now.
Irving wrote:
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER 1 UP!)
You're too slow!
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Anyways, a good start. Like Mia said, Chapter 1 almost seems like going through an actual case. (with inner thoughts and everything!)
Can't wait to see what role Iris plays in this.
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER 1 UP!)
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superangelo128 wrote:
Woah that was YOU? I just read that fanfiction.net without realizing it was you >_>
Anyways, a good start. Like Mia said, Chapter 1 almost seems like going through an actual case. (with inner thoughts and everything!)
Can't wait to see what role Iris plays in this.
Anyways, a good start. Like Mia said, Chapter 1 almost seems like going through an actual case. (with inner thoughts and everything!)
Can't wait to see what role Iris plays in this.
-smirk- Wouldn't you like to know? >w<
Find out in the next chapter!
Irving wrote:
Don't push my buttons, Buttons!
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER 1 UP!)
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The Feenris shipping finally emerges.
Better than the last one hopefully?
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (NEW CHAPTER UP!)
You're too slow!
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That's cool how you got the school teacher idea, and put in perfectly!
Love the P x I awkwardness. Good stuff.
Story's looking great so far, please continue!
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (NEW CHAPTER UP!)
My son is bored. Care to play with him?
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Anyway, I look forward to reading the next chapter. Once I have done so, I'll be back with another review.
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (NEW CHAPTER UP!)
True love is forever.
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). Using punctuation to show emotion works well in the game, but it doesn't translate well into story form. You might be better off describing the characters' reactions then doing something like “…!” That could just be me though. After all, every writer has their own style. Anyway, it was a good chapter and I enjoyed reading it. Nice job!
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (NEW CHAPTER UP!)
You're too slow!
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Arti Rei, I just read your fanfiction.net and noticed you like the Tales series! *holds up a high-five*
I like Kyle/Reala as well as liking ToD1, Tod2, Symphonia, and Abyss. I've also tried out the others. Have you played Tales of Destiny PS2 Remake?
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (NEW CHAPTER UP!)
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superangelo128 wrote:
Sorry for being a bit off-topic but...
Arti Rei, I just read your fanfiction.net and noticed you like the Tales series! *holds up a high-five*
I like Kyle/Reala as well as liking ToD1, Tod2, Symphonia, and Abyss. I've also tried out the others. Have you played Tales of Destiny PS2 Remake?
Arti Rei, I just read your fanfiction.net and noticed you like the Tales series! *holds up a high-five*
I like Kyle/Reala as well as liking ToD1, Tod2, Symphonia, and Abyss. I've also tried out the others. Have you played Tales of Destiny PS2 Remake?
Um...let's discuss that somewhere else outside of this thread?
My general response to the issues of my story format: Yeah, I understand. I started getting a bad feeling about the format. I just wanted to try and recreate that feeling when playing the game. x.x You know, stimulate the reader's imagination. But I guess it wasn't really that great. I just can't find it in me to novelize the whole thing. I think it's part of my fantasizing this to be a visual novel rather than just a story.
Granted I can't change the format anymore since I've already made up my mind. Hopefully, I can just make the next few chapters with less imagination needed by the readers. x.x; The dialogue, the parentheses, the italics and the bold, is my excuse for not being able to turn this into a visual novel, again.
Irving wrote:
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (NEW CHAPTER UP!)
True love is forever.
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (NEW CHAPTER UP!)
You're too slow!
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (NEW CHAPTER UP!)
Seeing it as it is
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Mia_Fey wrote:
You sound... a bit discouraged. I hope that wasn't due to my minor criticisms. The story really is very enjoyable. Rereading my last post, I think I came off sounding harsher then I intended. I'm sorry.
I did? XD No, don't worry about it! I expected some doubts about the story format on behalf of the readers!
What I'm having trouble with from here on, is laying out the cards.
It's actually kind of confusing having to let the truth be revealed one at a time, but anyway! More descriptive chapters coming soon! And I want to end the first chapter with the next, so watch for it :D
Irving wrote:
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (NEW CHAPTER UP!)
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Onward with the Feenris love, as well as the murder case. XD
This one's a little bit better than its precedents, so I hope you guys like x.x;;
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER FOUR UP!)
You're too slow!
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Hmm who would be a good prosecutor? Edgeworth left according to your story..
My two guesses are either Franziska or... Klavier? Klavier would be awesome, though the timeframe may not make sense. I guess Payne is a possibility but it since it's a case with investigation probably not. And maybe like a 1% chance of Godot? lol.
Anyways, good job so far please continue on it!
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER FOUR UP!)
My son is bored. Care to play with him?
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER FOUR UP!)
True love is forever.
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER FOUR UP!)
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As for the prosecutor, hmm............
To be determined at a later date! Till then!
Irving wrote:
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER FOUR UP!)
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Beaniez! No wait...I mean, An eeny weeny badge that looks like an oversized pin in your inventory!
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (UPdated!)
You're too slow!
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-Glad you brought Klavier, I didn't think he was OOC towards Phoenix since certain AJ events didn't happen. It makes sense for him to treat him like he treated Apollo.
-Iris seemed fine to me.
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (UPdated!)
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... Okay, I have that out of my system now... I swear. :P This chapter was quite good. I really love Phoenix's internal monologue. It's perfect. You really have a great feel for him overall. The only part that struck me as off with Phoenix is the way he speaks to Gimlet in the beginning. Even if he's unsure himself, he does usually try to put on a good face for his clients (as Mia taught him). "It doesn’t matter what type of prosecutor shows up once the trial starts. They all share one common trait: to be ruthless.” It just strikes me as being a bit to harsh considering she has every right to be worried and that would likely only make her more nervous. A part of his job is reassuring her that he'll do everything in his power to help her and offer her what comfort he can. Still, that was the only part of Phoenix that struck me as off.
I loved how you have Iris chime into help. I thought that you handled her well. She needs to speak up for Gimlet's (and Phoenix's <_<) sake so she does, but you can still see her underlying shyness in the story. In the game, Iris's greatest strength appears when she needs to help another particularly when it involves someone she cares for, so the way you portray Iris's actions here strikes me a being very true to her character.
Klavier seems fine overall. A part of me thinks that he might show Phoenix a bit more respect then he would show Apollo though (In comparing his attitude toward Apollo in the game and Phoenix in your story, he seems to treat them in a rather similar manner which strikes me as a bit... off). Phoenix is a seasoned attorney with an incredible reputation, while Apollo was a barely a newbie. Yes, Klavier would definitely revert to his normal persona once the trial was underway for the most part, but a part of me still expected more acknowledgment from him about Phoenix's accomplishments and perhaps some awe particularly since certain events didn't occur. He does treat Apollo with respect (ignoring the teasing which is more Klavier showing a certain amount of fondness for Apollo then disrespect... That's just Klavier's way of interacting with others), but I think Phoenix would warrant a greater amount of respect right from the start because of his reputation. Could just be me though. ... I'm not sure I'm making much sense tonight. By the way, "Turnabout Attorney" is love.
... And "Here comes *insert name here*" belongs to Apollo alone. Phoenix shall leave Apollo's catch phrase alone. That is all. :P
Overall, an excellent chapter. I look forward to more.
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (UPdated!)
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And yes! I know it's Apollo's catchphrase, but I thought it would work for Feenie. x.x; My bad. Don't worry! It was just a one time thing so don't get your, unmentionables in a twist.
Hmm...I did wonder if Feenie's behavior to Gimlet was ok. Not so ok, but I guess it's ok? (^^:)/\
And I'm glad Iris came out just fine! :D I was worried about her in the courtroom. Since like, she was like, talking for like, more or less twelve times in court, like? For like, her own trial?
The only thing I fret about is that the trial got messy in the beginning? And that Klavvy chose not to hide the bloodz on the curtains, which is...weird? And un-prosecutor like? I DON'T KNOW!
Well, if the blood turns out irrelevant, PAY CUT for Gumshoe!
As for Turnabout Attorney, WHY THE HECK NOT? You've got Demon Prosecutor, and Prosecutor Prodigy. So how come Feenie doesn't have a title after the little fame he's earned? ;.;
Anyway, going to continue to the next chappie, so stay tuned people! :D
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (UPdated!)
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UPPITY! NO MORE MR. NICE LAWYER!
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (FINAL CHAPTER 2 UP!)
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Spoiler: 4-4
Anyway, good job. I hope to see more soon.
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (FINAL CHAPTER 2 UP!)
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Mia_Fey wrote:
Very nice work. I quite enjoyed the chapter and I actually don't have much more to add. The only thing that strikes me as strange is Klavier calling Phoenix "Herr Porcupinehead."
Anyway, good job. I hope to see more soon.
Spoiler: 4-4
Anyway, good job. I hope to see more soon.
True, that. As the story continues, all will be made clear for everyone? Lol, I mean, just wait for it. :P
Irving wrote:
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Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (FINAL CHAPTER 2 UP!)
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Awesome chapter, keep it up!
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (FINAL CHAPTER 2 UP!)
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Irving wrote:
Don't push my buttons, Buttons!
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (FINAL CHAPTER 2 UP!)
Trust me, you don't wanna know...--_--;
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Keep up the good work and update soon, ya?
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (FINAL CHAPTER 2 UP!)
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Next chapter shall be up soon!!!!!!!!! ^______^
Irving wrote:
Don't push my buttons, Buttons!
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (FINAL CHAPTER 2 UP!)
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The prosecution's shooting poison arrows in this round!
Irving wrote:
Don't push my buttons, Buttons!
Re: Ticking Turnabout: A Feenris fiction (CHAPTER 3 UP!)
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