This thread is for fanfiction sporkings, otherwise also known as "MSTings". Everybody who finds a horribly written Ace Attorney fanfic can post a sporking of it here, if they want to. Others can comment to the sporkings/MSTings. However, remember that the fanfic has to have a huge, huge number of obvious flaws, in order to qualify. Just not liking a pairing or a character is not enough!


Rules (Shortened, adjusted version of those of a sporking community):

1: Do not post sporkings as a vendetta against someone. ie: I hate him/her, so I'll spork his/her favourite fic!

2: Keep the mocking to the thread only, we aren't here to harass the authors. (So, don't search the fic out and spam it with flame reviews.)

3: Try and list some redeeming features when sporking. If the fic is reasonably well written, make a note of it.

4: If you decide to review a fanfic that was sporked here, please do not link to this thread or tell the writer they have been sporked. Part of the appeal of sporking is being able to vent without the author knowing.

5: While it may be tempting to put yourself or your original character into the sporking that level of hypocrisy is not encouraged. Besides, Ace Attorney has tons and tons of characters you can torment with this. Just pick the most fitting ones.

6: Related to this, please use only AA characters as sporkers, unless the fic is a crossover. This rule is also effective for Professor Layton characters, despite the existence of the crossover game.

7. Keep the characters as in-character as possible in your commentary! Otherwise, the whole meaning of sporking is lost.

8. While it is indeed possible to spork good fanfiction, this is not what this thread is for. People might get confused if you go and spork a completely flawless fanfic.

9: You don't have to use colours for the characters, but if you do, use fitting colours, namely blue for Phoenix, dark red for Edgeworth, purple for Maya, red for Apollo, etc.


Now, the Ratings:


1 x : This fic was pretty good, but something about it was off and badficcy. Generally denotes grammar problems or minor OOC-ness.

2 x : Ouch. Fics like these were painful, maybe smutty or poorly-written, but still tolerable.

3 x : Now we get into badfic town. You could use it for are serious OOC, purple prose, or just run-the-mill badficness.

4 x : These are fics that heap on even more of the bad. By this time, many sporkers denote what each sahwit is for.

5 x : DIE. These are the fics that need to be burned into tiny little pieces and stomped upon. The ones that make you scream in terror. It says "DIE DIE DIE" in the original rules of the Kingdom_Spork Community for a reason

: This is a magic, special rating. "So bad it scares Dahlia." You can't use more than one Dahlia. Dahlia is the worst. There is nothing above her and rating a fic with her icon means that it is a hellspawn, just like her and deserves to be lectured back to were it came from, just like her.


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And now, let me introduce to you, THE SPORKERS!:

Phoenix Wright:



Everyone's most beloved lawyer and professional buttmonkey as well as part-time hobo, Phoenix is one of the more snarky sporkers. While he usually doesn't care too much about grammar and spelling unless it's so bad that that he can't actually comprehend a sentence's meaning, he hates Canon Rape with all passion and is not happy if he has to witness himself or his friends act OoC for no good reason. While he reacts quite sensible to attacks on his dignity, he has a strong moral code and would never actively use any word more offensive than "Screw", unless quoting directly from the Fic.
Despite being talented at snarking, his attempts at any other kind of joke are horrifyingly bad.

Phoenix has two alter Egos, Hobo-Nick from the Future and Feenie from the Past. While all of them are the same thought-wise, Hobo-Nick turns the Snarkyness up to eleven and is not as easily startled or sensible as Default!Nick, while also having an additional tendency to make jokes at the expense of his fellow Sporkers. Feenie is pretty much the exact opposite.


Maya Fey:



Cheerful, optimistic and full of energy, Maya tries to just have fun during a sporking, rather than despair from the wave of bad sweeping over her. She'll often be the first one to spout out memes or just make puns with inappropriately used phrases. However, not even she is able to stand a bad romance or porn. As soon as the sporking starts to strain her beloved stomach more than she can take, Maya will often resort to the rather unfair measure of channelling Mia to replace her, a tendency which greatly annoys her fellow sporkers.

Mia Fey:



Maya’s older sister appears whenever her mind decides that it needs a time-out from the horrifying images it is seeing (usually bad porn or horribly written yaoi). Mia was watching MST3K back in the days and thus knows exactly how to deal with bad fiction. She stays very calm and controlled during her sporkings and never tries to force jokes, but is happy to support someone else’s snarking if it goes in a good direction. She will attempt to comfort sporkers who are experiencing a nervous breakdown.

Miles Edgeworth:



The most logical minded of our sporkers, Edgeworth’s complaints with fanfiction are often based on said fanfiction contradicting common sense. He will also be the first to point it out whenever an author simply just didn’t do the research. He speaks several languages fluently, and thus gratuitous German and Fangirl Japanese do NOT amuse him. Edgeworth never drops his sophisticated way of speaking and is an avid hater of Purple Prose and Cap Locks, although he slips into use of the latter himself now and then. While he stays calm and rational for the most part, he is also not averted to supporting and indulging in snarking. If the Fic crosses certain lines (like making fun of his sexuality), he tends to lose his cool. Also, he has the doubtful “honour” to be the only character capable of receiving penalties during a sporking, thanks to his status as main character of AAI.

Kay Faraday:



A self-proclaimed thief and mistress of the Arts of “Big Lipped Alligator Moment” and “Deus Ex Machina”, Kay Faraday seems to be the only character capable of entering and leaving the Sporking Theater at will through mysterious means. The Management has yet to find a way of stopping her from doing so. Little is known about her sporking capabilities, except for the fact that her tolerance level seems to be even higher than Maya’s- still, she will avoid sporking as far as it is possible, if only for the challenge of escaping the FBI agents.


Franziska von Karma:



Genius Prosecutor and resident Grammar Nazi. Franziska was granted permission to use her whip during sporkings for character-specific reasons, much to her fellow sporker’s Chagrin. While she, like Edgeworth is not a friend of logical mistakes of all kinds, her true “passion” belongs to flawed spelling and grammar mistakes. Her hatred for errors of this kind knows no boundaries and she is the true reason the Sporking Theater’s Screen had to be rendered impact-proof by the Management. Misuse of foreign languages, finally, may make her enter berserk mode, just like a huge dose of lacking punctuation. Heil Spellcheck, you fools!


Apollo Justice:



A young, passionate defence attorney, Apollo’s trademark may be his loud voice, which causes him to slip into Cap Lock abuse more quickly than his fellow Sporkers. As such, he is not likely to complain about said Cap Lock abuse in fanfics… But he’ll complain about pretty much everything else. He is hard to please, moans a lot and often starts snarking before he even understood why exactly he hated a certain passage so much. He is also good at paying close attention to details, can, however, also just as easily pay no attention at all when he doesn’t feel like it. Just as protective of his dignity as Phoenix or Edgeworth, he does not take kind to attack on it. The difference is that he reacts a whole lot more aggressively to them than the aforementioned two attorneys. And, while we are at Mr. Wright: Never imply that they might be similar. He doesn’t like that.


Ema Skye:



For all the scientific fact you never wanted to know: Ema is your girl! Cheerful and optimistic like Maya, and maybe also a tiny little bit more naïve, Ema gleefully joins in on any pop cultural reference and tends to point out the itty bitty details with others, even Edgeworth, don't even find worth focusing on, as long as they are just alarming to her "scientific senses". She is, however, also easily intimidated and will often simply miss the point or the bigger picture. She has a obsession with snacks, specifically Snackoos and is a Miles Edgeworth Fangirl.

Comes in two flavours: "Cute and cheerful" or "Sexy and moody".


The Judge:



Order! The Sporking is now in Session!
Ah, our judge, wise and yet naïve, experienced and yet unable to function in the modern society. He is hard of hearing and also seeing, which spares him a lot of the pain his fellow sporkers have to put up with. Not quite understanding the horrors which have befallen him, the Judge tends to mistake fanfics for modern art and doesn't take them all too seriously.


Winston Payne:



Prosecutor and Former Rookie Killer, Winston has lost most of his self esteem along with his hair long ago. Nowdays, he is about as outspoken as a rabbit and just as quick to cower in fear as the same. He is well informed about the true nature of the Sporking Theater, but does not have even a hint of an idea how to deal with it. Also, he is constantly trying to flatter the judge in order to score points with him.


Larry Butz:



When something smells, it's probably... Yeah, Yeah, you know the rest.
Larry has yet to discover the true nature of the Sporking Theater. Not that it was a great loss. His lack of intelligence makes him immune to the most kinds of badness anyway. He will frequently complain about the lack of "chicks" in a story and be the last to come to a conclusion.


Dick Gumshoe:



Do you have a Dollar to spare for him? Or a dime? Aww, come on, don't let him hang like that!
Gumshoe enjoy the fact that the Sporking Theater's furniture is a lot more comfortable than the second hand wooden chairs and ancient bed he has to deal with at home. Plus, it's air-conditioned and sometime there's food. That, however, doesn't mean he enjoys watching what is going on in the screen. While he is glad about every bit of (well deserved) attention the authors give him, he does not like being made fun in the least. However, when he is not aggravated or otherwise excited, he is one of the more quiet sporkers and his presence is often easily forgotten.

Manfred von Karma:



The perfectionist. Not just "a" perfectionist, but THE perfectionist. Accept no substitutes.
While Manfred von Karma will complain about everything, he lets nothing aggravate him, since he is expecting everything that wasn't personally approved by himself to be flawed rubbish. He treats fanfiction and their authors like defendants and defence attorneys: Bugs, which need to be squished. He will never admit that something was good, no matter how obviously it was and always find a way to cast a bad light on it.
Said to be allied with Satan, which is why he is immune to the mind numbing properties of badfics.

Godot:



Mia Fey's former boyfriend and extreme coffee junkie. Never seen without a mug of coffee. Most of his jokes are at the expense of his fellow sporkers, which makes him unloved among those. He is also quite snarky otherwise, but his coffee related metaphors often make it quite hard to tell what exactly he was trying to snark at. Doesn't lose his cool very quickly, but when he does, expect rage, exploding visors, coffee mugs shattering at the screen and mostly rage.
He is unable to see the colour red on a white background, which lessens the effect of bloody gorn scenes on him. Not that he'd be all too terrified of them otherwise.
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List of previous Sporkings:

Nenilein:
TASTE THE RAINBOW Chapter 1

Revriley:
JAck and Franceska

nevertalk:
Codename: FRIEND

Pessimistic_Fool:
Ace Attorney Randomness (with drthingums)
Testimonies (part 2)
An Ace Attorney Christmas Carol
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Following the Law (part 2)

Little_Thief:
Phoenix White: Justifications of Justice!
Once Upon a Turnabout (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8) (part 9) (part 10) (part 11) (part 12) (part 13) (part 14) (part 15) (part 16) (part 17) (part 18)

Ben Lyon:
The Fanfic Police
Love is Truly Magical
In The Role of A Gavin
Descent
12 Charms (part 2)

shippersdreamer:
Harry Potter and the Wrath of the Lawyers
Emergency Turnabout

PhoenixFlame53:
Phoenix is a jerk (part 2)

Thane:
Phoenix Wright Contest
Nightmare
Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright Law and Order

rayquazapk2:
Give it Time and You'll be Fine

Builderkid107:
An Office Affair

WrightBrother:
Bath Time

AireyVerkhovensky:
A new Ace Attorney
Law Plus Chaos (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8) (part 9) (part 10) (part 11) (part 12)
Breathing Is A Necessity (part 2)
What's There to Hide?
An Overdose of Edgeworths
Prince of All Prosecutors
Phoenix Wright Gets Hit in the Nuts
Ace Attorney: Truth Remains
Apollo and the Maze
Stiff
Vergiss mich nicht
Kink Meme Special 1
Ace Attorney - NaruMitsu - The Cat's Office
PHOENIX WRIGHT AND THE HORRIBLE DAY IN COURT!
The Porcelain Doll

Rubia Ryu the Royal:
Phoenix Wright READ THE STORY TO FIND OUT!
Word of the Day
achtung baby
A PW BADFIC
On Poker, Villainy and Death
The Plan to Capture Wright
Back to the Future
DAMON GANT ESCAPS FROM PRISOOOOOOON (with cuteyounggirlplus) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)
TASTE THE RAINBOW Chapter 3
The Dank Adventures of DGS People N Shit
The Hellspawn (part 2) (part 3)
Kink Meme Special 3
phoenix wright: aced love man

Nearavex:
Blackmail
Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright Law and Order (again)

sumguy28:
Blackmail (again)

dimentiorules:
What Dreams May Come

Flashfilms:
It's a Promise Part 1 Apollo x Reader

HerrmanVonKarma:
Thoroughly Unprofessional

iglootheraptor:
Flappy Attorney!

TheJettSet27:
TASTE THE RAINBOW
evr1 420 yolos it

Aquabreeze:
Detective Gumshoe wins the lottery

luck:
MagicSpiritdu05
Our Love Will Survive
A Winner Is You!
Imperfect Wish Oneshot
Phoenix Wright: Goffik Attorney (Chapter 2)

cuteyounggirlplus:
The Laborious Turnabout
Phoenix Wright: Goffik Attorney (Chapter 1)
A story of passion
Turnabout Storm (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8)
phoenix wright ace christian
Damon Gant's Swimmingly good journal
Kink Meme Special 4: The Carrot Saga

Skittlemask:
A Story of Morals
Step on My Ladder
O romance impossível
Drunkshoe's Adventure
The Alternative (part 2)
Shattered Psyche
Coffee Burns

Oliver:
Phoenix Wright:Turnabout Gender (part 2)
Ms. Maya (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)
CykesFiction
Oh mi god

Crescent Moon:
Undeclared Tenant

WhatTheWhat:
How to deal with a fop stealing your favourite notepad
His silent Punishment
Pheenox’s Revenge

ArrowLawn:
How Professor Layton And Damon Gant Are Twins
phoenix wright MUSHROOM attorney
phoenix wright turnabout goat
phoenix wright dank attorney (part 2)
larrys childrens story

GyakutenShaiban:
Once Upon a Turnabout (again)

DrOcsid:
Phoenix Drive (part 2)
phoenix wright turnabout pearl
phoenix wrighte CAKE attorney
steven universe: human of bad

Viktoria von Karma:
Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright Law and Order Part Two

DecisiveWitness:
What the Hell

Polly:
Guilty Love
trilo x hotti
phoenix wright zoning attorney

Planetbox:
Crime, Love, and Burgers
ace attorney: THE EDGEWORTH CONSPIRACY

irebach:
phoenix wright turnabout monster

Mornal:
Maya Fey: Ace Theif　(part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

ART GALLERY!

The Great Francheska Di Karma!

Miley Edgeworth, the sparkling Fangirl Magnet Prosecutor! (Who needs Klavier Gavin?!)

The Amazing, Exploding Cat Girl!

Would you happen to have any money in coin form for me, Sir? I beg you, relieve a poor person from their misery.

Hobo Edgey says "Hi"

Chainsaw-Dolphin Slayer Lightning Phoenix

Pimp your Judge!!

Hellipoter

Phoenix's Turnabout: Phoenix killing Edgeworth

Phoenix's Turnabout: Sue the f*** out of the world

Edgeworth's Nightmare

Edgeworth vs. The Management

Maya. Grape Juice.

Maya drops her donut

Gaze goes where?!

Franziska's Escape

The Amazing Spider-Worth

Badd's Footprint Spray

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Last edited by drthingums on Tue Oct 04, 2016 7:32 pm, edited 12 times in total.

Good. I was almost starting to miss this. Now I just have to bring myself to try to read some of it again...
On second thought, I'm not in that much a hurry.

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Heh heh these are hilarious!

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YES!

Now, people, start sporking again!

Boy am I glad to see this thread back. Self promotion time:



I also did The Fight over Phoenix and The Endless Turnabout (Part 1, Part 2). The second fic listed is actually called "Ace Attorney: The Wrong Man the Wrong Job" as well.

But hey, if no one minds I'll get the ball rolling with a sporking I had left unposted during the transition from the backup forums to these. So, without further ado, let me introduce:

Today's Sporking: Codename: FRIEND

One Sawhit


Honestly, this fic isn't offensive in the slightest. It's just full of poor English and yet another confounding mystery. Over all it's just kind of dull and confusing and was abandoned after a single chapter. Perfect for getting back in to the swing of things, I think.

Today's Sporkers:

Phoenix Wright
"Why is this happening again?"

Maya Fey
"It was a good break while it lasted..."

Miles Edgeworth
"Nnghh..."

SPORKING START

[The sun is high in the sky and three familiar figures walk across the landscape beneath it escorted by Lang's troops. Their shadows are short and so are their tempers]

Edgeworth: “I was under the impression this nonsense had stopped once and for all.”

Maya: “Yeah! What gives?”

Trooper: “We were having some technical difficulties. That Von Karma dame was causing some serious damage to the equipment and we had to seal off all the exits and entry points Pinky's little girlfriend was using.”

Edgeworth: “She is not my girlfriend! She's not even of legal age!”

Phoenix: “That's not the plot of the story you're subjecting us to, is it?”

Trooper: “Nah, no romance. We need to recalibrate the theater to your suffering so we're starting with something average.”

Edgeworth: “You need to do what?”

Trooper: “Forget I said anything. In you go!”

*The trooper shoves the trio inside the theater and locks the door behind them.*

Phoenix: *sighs* “Home again, home again, jiggity jig...”

Maya: “Look, they saved my seat!”

Phoenix: “Maya, we're the only ones in here.”

Maya: “That doesn't change the fact I get my seat. It's conformed to me!”

Edgeworth: “It's starting. Let's just get this over with so we can go hang ourselves.”

Phoenix: “Fic Sporker Edgeworth chooses death?”

Edgeworth: “Something like that.”



Phoenix: “Why is “friend” in all caps? Is it an acronym?”

Maya: “Farting Rhode Island Entertainers Need Diapers.”

Phoenix: “Fighting Roosters Injured Eugene Newman’s Diaphragm.”

Maya: “Franziska Rides In Elevators Next Door.”

Phoenix: “French Revolution Impacted England’s Natural Dichotomy.”

Maya: “Ooh, good one!”

Edgeworth: “It is merely the first of many horrible mistakes we’re likely to be subjected to and you know it.”

Maya: “That doesn’t even come close to spelling ‘FRIEND.’”



Phoenix: “What?”



Phoenix: “I am not old!”

Maya: “Are too.”

Phoenix: “I’m 26!”

Maya: “Age is just a number.”

Edgeworth: “Normally people use that turn of phrase for the opposite; to say they feel younger than they are.”

Phoenix: “Like how Maya’s a grown woman but acts 12?”

Maya: *crosses arms* “You guys are mean. I’m… I’m just a free spirit that’s full of life and junk.”



Phoenix: “At least we’re both clearly named already.”

Maya: “I’m not a ‘weird girl’ or a ‘young woman’ or anything like that for the first few paragraphs? That takes away my air of mystery!”

Phoenix: “You have an air of mystery?”

Maya: “I could if I wanted.”



Maya: “Why wouldn’t I expect that? We start at the same time very day.”

Phoenix: “It’s especially weird since it starts out saying that we were both already in the office. Did you just not notice me until now?”

Maya: “I doubt that, given the way you drag yourself through the door each morning.”

Phoenix: “Look, I am not a morning person.”



Edgeworth: “Ah, there we are. You speak as if she lives in your office. Perhaps that is what it means.”

Phoenix: “Well, she practically does…”

Edgeworth: “Isn’t your home technically Kurain Village? Where did you stay in the city anyway?”

Maya: “Um, you know… Around…”



Phoenix: “I’d assume I’m in desperate need of a client as usual.”

Edgeworth: “You should invest in an answering machine instead of forcing your assistant to live in your office.”

Maya: “Yeah, Nick! Just chain me to your desk, why don’t you?”



Maya: “Who?”

Phoenix: “You got me. I don’t know any Mila. I know a Mia but she’s dead. I know a Miles…”

Edgeworth: “But I would certainly not be calling at ‘4am in the morning.’ Furthermore, ‘am’ is already in the morning. You do not need the extra clarification. Doing so is wrong.”



Edgeworth: “So I’m to believe this is shortly after 4am? Why was Miss Fey already at the office?”

Phoenix: “So she really does live there then? Well I guess it could work out. That couch is pretty comfortable. Not sure how clients would take to it, though…”

Maya: “No matter where I’m staying, I am not getting up at 4am.”

Phoenix: “By the way, I’m charging rent.”

Maya: “Pfft, you don’t pay me enough for that. I want a raise, Nick.”

Phoenix: “So do I. Get in line.”



Phoenix: “But she already called me! I just said so!”

Maya: “Maybe her phone’s battery died the very second she hung up.”

Edgeworth: “Or perhaps she really did just fall asleep again. This is four in the morning, after all. Even I don’t get up this early barring perhaps a fire.”



Phoenix: “I only think, though. I don’t want my snappy comebacks to be too scathing now.”



Maya: “Oh boy, early morning infomercials! I hope they have that one for the battery powered exercise belt that burns fat and builds muscle while you just sit there!”

Phoenix: “You’re doing everything ‘happily’ in this story. I know you’re pretty upbeat but could you tone it down a little?”

Maya: “I can’t help it if I’m a natural ray of sunshine in your gloomy world.”



Phoenix: “All the news on televisions that’s fit to tell in all caps.”



Maya: “In the TV? Get out of there! Bad news anchor!”

Edgeworth: “He does appear rather distraught, yelling in all capital letters like that.”



Edgeworth: “Again with ‘am in the morning…’”

Phoenix: “Wait, I’m apparently friends with this famous Japanese actress?”

Maya: “You never told me that! Why didn’t we ever go to cool Hollywood shindigs with her before she was murdered?”

Phoenix: “This is just a story, Maya. The real me is way more boring.”

Maya: “Hmph. So I’ve noticed.”



Edgeworth: “You don’t appear too broken up about it, Wright.”

Maya: “Oh no, this isn’t the return of apathetic Nick, is it? I hope nothing happens to me in this one…”



Phoenix: “I didn’t tell you because I never knew myself.”

Maya: “Look, FRIEND is in all caps again. It has to be an acronym! I hope it’s like a secret government agency or… or maybe Mila’s really a cyborg and that’s her codename!”

Phoenix: “That’s not a very intimidating codename.”

Maya: “Maybe she was sent to our time period on Operation: HUGS or something. Besides, if she’s dead she wasn’t a good cyborg anyway.”



Maya: “‘She’s now dead?’ Could you possibly have worded that more unnaturally?”

Edgeworth: “It’s grammatically correct, technically, but it does sound rather awkward. Although I’m curious as to why you’re flying to Japan at four in the morning when you don’t even… never mind.”

Phoenix: “What?”

Edgeworth: “Wright, this is you we’re talking about. If one of your friends was in trouble you’d hijack a space shuttle and fly to the moon if need be.”

Phoenix: “…Maya, from this moment on you’re banned from the moon.”



Phoenix: “I DON’T KNOW!”

Edgeworth: “There is no question mark. I’d presume we’re being told what happened.”

Maya: “Oh, well that’s nice of the story. Usually we have to figure everything out on our own and gets all challenging and interesting.”



Edgeworth: “Well, that was… succinct.”

Phoenix: “Wait, wait, it’s still going.”

Edgeworth: “Hopefully in lowercase from here on out. The author has used his allotted quota of capital letters already.”



Edgeworth: “It must be an extremely quiet street to be told this fact twice in rapid succession.”

Maya: “I want a fur coat like that. I’d feel like such a classy dame. Nick, get me a fur coat.”

Phoenix: “Forget it. My own coat was expensive enough.”

Maya: “But my damehood is on the line here!”



Phoenix: “It only looked like it? Are we viewing security cam footage here?”

Edgeworth: “The author must be referring to the previous sentence where he clearly states Ms. Kaiis is waiting.”

Phoenix: “Oh yeah, she really is waiting after all.”

Maya: “Mystery solved!”



Maya: “She’s such a liar. She just got there!”

Phoenix: “The other guy appeared without arriving on the scene too. I guess time just passed in the blink of an eye.”

Maya: “You see? Fur coats give you time controlling powers! Now you have to get me one!”

Phoenix: “In that case I already bought you one then you went back in time and stopped it from happening by stepping on a butterfly or something.”

Edgeworth: “Could we just continue, please?”



Maya: “She was waiting for a gun delivery?”



Maya: “Oh.”

Edgeworth: “Why the unnecessary ellipses before her being shot?”

Phoenix: “I think the author couldn’t think of a good synonym and just went with ‘shot’ after brief thought.”



Phoenix: “I can’t imagine anyone that would just leave a corpse laying out in the middle of the street for four hours either.”

Edgeworth: “They could take the poor girl back to autopsy before she spoils any time now…”

Maya: “You guys are gross.”



Maya: “Detective Gumshoe, you stop cheating on Maggey this instant!”

Edgeworth: “How did the detective deduce she was your acquaintance? It’s never stated that you told him such.”

Phoenix: “In this universe I must be well known for having lots of famous friends.”

Maya: “Including the narrator. He’s calling you ‘Nick.’”

Phoenix: “Well I sure don’t know him. This is starting to get awkward.”



Edgeworth: “She’s still on the sidewalk, Wright. At best he could give you a preliminary report.”

Maya: “And he never said he still wanted to date her. He just said she might have been safe with him. You’re so presumptuous!”

Phoenix: “That’s not me, alright?”

Edgeworth: “Still, you haven’t been embarrassingly out of character yet. That’s rare praise for these tales.”

Phoenix: “I’m sure it’s just saving up for later…”



Phoenix: “Wow, that’s surprisingly exact for a time of death.”

Maya: “Maybe the bullet hit her watch and somehow didn’t destroy it!”

Edgeworth: “Hold it! Why are you privy to this information, Wright? You have no client. Friend of the victim or not this is still a police investigation.”

Phoenix: “Because Gumshoe.”

Edgeworth: “…For once I have no rebuttal.”



Edgeworth: “What makes you say that?”

Phoenix: “Maybe she mentioned something to that effect on the phone? We still have no idea what we talked about.”

Maya: “Well if the author’s calling you Nick that means you must be friends. He’s probably just filling you in.”

Phoenix: “If he was such a great friend he wouldn’t be having my other friend murdered in the dead of night.”

Maya: “No, no, Nick. She’s Codename: FRIEND. That’s totally different.”

Phoenix: “Of course. How silly of me…”



Edgeworth: “Of for the love of… Detectives are assigned pistols. Furthermore, Detective Gumshoe absolutely detests the idea of using his sidearm.”

Phoenix: “That’s true. I think the most use he’s gotten out of it is showing it off to kids to cheer them up.”

Edgeworth: “And I absolutely detest the idea of him doing that…”

Maya: “You hate the idea of him cheering up kids? Wow, you’re more of a grouch than I thought.”

Edgeworth: “What I mean to say is… never mind. Forget I said anything.”



Edgeworth: “How convenient. Perhaps the next dumpster over will have the murderer in it as well.”



Edgeworth: “Wright, you are a civilian and concealed firearms are prohibited in this city. You have no rights to that gun; evidence or not. I have half a mind to dock Gumshoe’s pay just because of his doppelganger’s irresponsible actions.”

Maya: “What does the other half of your mind say?”

Edgeworth: “I believe that half instinctively shut down when the lights dimmed.”



Maya: “Wow, Nick. You really shouldn’t have taken that gun!”

Edgeworth: “‘Maintained?' Surely they mean ‘detained.’”

Maya: “I dunno, Nick can be high maintenance when he wants… and don’t call me Shirley.”

Edgeworth: “You’ve been waiting to make that joke forever, haven’t you?”

Phoenix: “Why am I being arrested!?”

Edgeworth: “You were at the scene of the crime. That seems to be good enough for most of these stories.”

Phoenix: “Yeah, hours after the crime had already been committed. Maya was there too!”

Maya: “Oh no you don’t. I’m done being arrested.”



Edgeworth: “I beg your pardon, Ms. Reeds, but prosecutors are assigned by the state or county. They are not hired like private attorneys, you obvious fraud.”

Phoenix: “Maybe they’re planning to sue me over Mila’s death and this is now a civil manner instead of a criminal one? That still doesn’t explain why she called herself a prosecutor, does it?”

Edgeworth: “If that were the case you would not have been hauled off to prison. No, I’m afraid the author simply has no idea what any of us actually do besides yell ‘Objection’ and point our fingers.”

Maya: “Way to ruin the dream, Mr. Edgeworth.”



Edgeworth: “Do they even know you? I wouldn’t go around trusting people just because they are friends of a friend.”

Phoenix: “I don’t know if I know them or not. Original characters are weird when they’ve apparently been a part of my life forever.”

Maya: “At least she’s not a self insert girlfriend or something. She has that going for her.”

Phoenix: “She’s also dead.”

Maya: “That keeps her from being a Mary Sue. One more point in her favor, I guess.”



Phoenix: “When am I getting paid and why are you being so difficult? Those are my usual questions.”

Maya: “I’ve never heard you ask that.”

Phoenix: “With any luck I’ll maintain that self control.”

Edgeworth: “Prosecutors are attorneys too, Ms. Reeds. Forget law school, have you even finished high school?”



Maya: “There are video cameras in your apartment!? Nick, I’m never staying there again!”

Phoenix: “Not that I knew about. Must be stalker fangirls or something. I’d better go check this out when I get home. Edgeworth, you should probably do the same…”

Edgeworth: “Nngh…”

Phoenix: “Why does she need an alibi from me anyway? Do the police in Japan just arrest random people and hope they fit the crime?”

Maya: “Wait, is this Japan?”

Phoenix: “Well, we're where Mila was murdered, so it has to be.”

Maya: “But Gumshoe’s here. Is he in Japan too?”

Phoenix: “I honestly have no idea at this point.”



Phoenix: “No, the author refuses to let us know.”



Maya: “Big Trouble in Little Los Angeles!”

Phoenix: “I suppose being dead is big trouble but I doubt she cares any more.”

Edgeworth: “Also, that should be ‘would’ instead of ‘will.’”



Edgeworth: “No, she just said she would be in trouble soon. She never said she was causing it.”

Maya: “She’s some famous Japanese actress, right? Famous people are always in trouble for some reason or another. Maybe it was ninjas. You know, ‘cause it’s Japan and all.”

Phoenix: “Maya, I have no idea if that’s racist or not so just to be on the safe side, stop it.”

Maya: “What? No way, Nick! The stereotype has ninjas using swords. This ninja used a gun. I’m super open-minded!”



Edgeworth: “Stellar detective work, Ms. Reeds. You successfully ascertained what you already knew.”

Phoenix: “Why was I in prison for this? Doesn’t Japan have interrogation rooms like America?”



Phoenix: “Agreed.”



Maya: “‘No! I must fight for the defendants,’ he shouted. The radio said, ‘No, Nick. You are the defendants.” And then Nick was the detention room.”



Maya: “Nick, there’s a door right there. You really are helpless without me, huh?”



Phoenix: “I have this itch on my back that I just can’t reach.”

Maya: “Oh, right here? No prob.” *scratches Phoenix’s back*

Phoenix: “Ah, yeah. Right there. That’s good.”

Edgeworth: “Helpless indeed.”



Maya: “Someone stole the S from her last name! That has to be a clue!”

Edgeworth: “You were just thrown in prison, Wright. You’ve already been accused.”

Phoenix: “No, she just questioned me then released me.”

Edgeworth: “Then why were you detained? A prosecutor claiming to be hired privately and a questioning conducted in a prison cell involving someone who is not even a witness let alone a suspect… either you’re being set up to take a fall or the author simply has no idea what he’s doing.”

Maya: “Mr. Edgeworth, you’re really thinking too hard on this.”

Edgeworth: “Miss Fey, that is my job.”



Phoenix: “VERY LOUDLY.”



Phoenix: “Wright. My last name is Wright.”

Maya: “It’s like if Pearly was being all formal! Aww, that would be so cute.”



Phoenix: “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a cooperative detective.”

Maya: “But hey, you’re off the hook now, Nick.”

Edgeworth: “Why have you been informed of this, Wright? You have no client and are not involved in this case. Are you planning to defend the murderer of your friend?”

Phoenix: “Oh no, not this again…”

Maya: “Wait, what’s with that last part? Gumshoe’s been replaced? That’s really sad.”



Maya: “I know! Nick, cheer me and my fic-me up.”



Maya: “That’s not cheering either of me up! You’re just repeating the sadness!”

Phoenix: “Why is Gumshoe even here!? I thought this was Japan now.”

Maya: “If it's Japan, how did we even get there?”

Phoenix: “Where are we!?”

Edgeworth: “Plot-holeistan.”



Edgeworth: “Could, not can. Also, stick to what?”

Phoenix: “I’ve noticed you really haven’t ripped in to the grammar on this like you have the others.”

Edgeworth: “It’s curious. The author seems to have a rudimentary grasp of the English language but not even a child’s understanding of law.”



Phoenix: “Uh, Maya, he’s already in the detention center. Chances are they’ve already questioned him at this point.”

Maya: “Knowing our luck he’s being questioned when we get there too. Just what do they keep asking those people!?”



Phoenix: “…”

Maya: “…”

Edgeworth: “…You have to be kidding me. ‘A black-skin guy?’”

Phoenix: “That’s the best description of an African-American you could come up with, author?”

Edgeworth: “Even ‘a black skinned guy’ would have sufficed!”

Maya: “Sheesh, and you called me racist for talking about ninjas.”



Phoenix: “Slow down, champ. I didn’t even ask a question yet.”



Phoenix: “I’m a defense attorney. I do the exact opposite of that…”

Maya: “At least until court, anyway.”

Phoenix: “You’d think the real culprits would stop setting themselves as witnesses eventually.”



Edgeworth: “I take it back. The grammar in this is awful too. It is merely disguised by stretches of legible writing.”

Maya: “So if this guy’s also Mila’s friend do you know him too, Nick?”

Phoenix: “I have no idea. Why don’t I know any of these people!?”

Maya: “You weren’t brained with a fire extinguisher before we got here, were you?”

Phoenix: “I… don’t think so…”

Maya: “Omigosh, Nick! Do you remember me!?”

Edgeworth: “Miss Fey, I’m fairly certain these characters are all creations of the author’s design and shoved awkwardly in to Wright’s life.”

Phoenix: “I feel so retconned…”



Maya: “But if you’re lying, then watch out! He doesn’t trust your words!”



Phoenix: “So she was famous before she started acting? What did she do before then?”

???: “You know what makes girls famous in college, Nick!”

Edgeworth: “Larry, I don’t know how you keep getting in here but kindly leave without another word.”

Phoenix: “And take me with you.”



Phoenix: “Okay, and why was she popular in Japan but not here?”

Maya: *sighs* “I know how she feels wanting to be bigger.”

Phoenix: *pales* “M-Maya?”

Maya: “I can’t reach the top shelf on anything. It sucks!”

Phoenix: “Oh.”

Maya: “Hey, what did you think I meant!?”

Phoenix: “N-nothing.”

Maya: *puffs cheeks* “Nick!”



Edgeworth: “I was not aware Japan only allowed one movie to be made at a time.”



Edgeworth: “How is ‘who she hated the most’ relevant? She’s not the one accused of murder here. She is the victim.”

Maya: “I guess he hated her back?”

Phoenix: “He must if he’s going out of his way to deny her work. He’s not a very good manager.”



Phoenix: “He sold them to the movies themselves?”

Maya: “What the heck kind of store is this? ‘Hey, I’m doing a movie, give me a gun!’”



Edgeworth: “And if you had bothered with the mandatory licensing, training, registration, and background checks that would not have been a problem.”



Phoenix: “Seriously? There has to be a better way to kill a guy than by leaving an obvious paper trail and using a specially customized gun.”

Maya: “That’s like using the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile as a get-away car.”



Edgeworth: “‘Person who kills.’”



Phoenix: “But… we live in L.A.”

Edgeworth: “You did it. I thought maybe we were joking but you really did it. You flew to Japan at four in the morning to investigate a case without even picking up a client first.”

Phoenix: “You’re one to talk. Didn’t you charter a private plane to visit me in the hospital?”

Edgeworth: “That would be because a certain mutual acquaintance of ours told me you were dying.”



Maya: “Wow, this guy had some serious power if he could stop a movie from being made.”

Edgeworth: “Before it had stated he only terminated her contract. Now he has terminated the entire film?”

Maya: “But it became a hit anyway! I guess some audiences know what they want even if they can’t have it.”



Edgeworth: “Notoriety through crime is usually referred to as ‘infamous’ more than famous.”



Phoenix: “Why would she even sign a contract like that in the first place!?”

Maya: “She’s even worse with her money than you, Nick.”

Phoenix: “Hey, I used to be good with my money until a certain girl wormed her way in to my life and started using it all…”

Maya: “Well no wonder you’re so stingy on the burgers if you keep spending all your money on your girlfriend. Wait, when did you get a girlfriend!? Why haven’t I met her!? I should get the final say on this, Nick!”

Phoenix: “…”

Edgeworth: “Would you care for me to field this one, Wright?”

Phoenix: “NO!”



Edgeworth: “One or the other. Not both.”



Phoenix: “So both the box and the gun are black? Is that what was so special about it?”

Edgeworth: “At least the road is still quiet.”

Phoenix: “Maybe that’s the street name: Quiet Road.”



Phoenix: “Well, you could have stayed nearby and explained things to the police like a helpful citizen…”

Edgeworth: “I don’t even know what tense this sentence is striving for.”



Edgeworth: “Not many people enter police stations carrying dead bodies, Mr. Blake. Perhaps you could have just called the police and not touched anything on the scene?”



Maya: “But didn’t they say the gun in the trash was the murder weapon? Didn’t they check to see if it had been fired and if the ballistic markings lined up?”

Edgeworth: “It’s a sad day when a spirit medium knows more about police investigations than the supposed police.”



Maya: “Sounds like you have it figured out, Nick. What happened?”

Phoenix: “I’m going to say no one bothered to run any tests on the gun they found in the trash and that Mila was shot by her manager shortly before this guy made it to the scene.”

Maya: “Why him?”

Phoenix: “Because he’s the only other person in this story besides the new prosecutor and the murderer in the flashback was male.”

Edgeworth: “You are forgetting the detective replacing Gumshoe.”

Maya: “For now.”

Edgeworth: “Replacing Gumshoe… for now.”

Phoenix: “Oh yeah. I still say it’s the manager because the author made a special point to say Mila hated him.”



Maya: “It was very clear that it was a quiet street.”



Edgeworth: “It would seem your avatar up on screen has the same intuition.”

Maya: “Well, we didn’t find him in a dumpster beside the crime scene, but this is close enough.”



Phoenix: “I’ve noticed something. All these people have strikingly American names for supposedly Japanese natives.”

Edgeworth: “That is probably just as well. I don’t think I could last through a fan fiction stuffed full of random Japanese words and honorifics whose only purpose is to prove the author watches too much anime.”

Maya: “Aww, but Edgeworth-san, you’re so kawaii when you talk like that!”

Edgeworth: “Miss Fey, you will stop that this instant.”



Phoenix: “Headless?”

Maya: “Nick, he’s going to cut off our heads and pose us for his snuff magazine! We have to get out of there!”



Maya: “Oooh, a TV show?”

Phoenix: “Weren’t you just yelling how we should leave?”

Maya: “That was before I was promised fame and glory. Maybe he could get me a singing career! You could be my roadie!”

Phoenix: “Doesn’t Master of Kurain carry its own fame and glory?”

Maya: “Just political power. That’s boring.”



Phoenix: “Whose face? My face?”

Maya: “Hehe, you have a perky face?”

Edgeworth: “It’s certainly referring to you, Wright, though I believe it means Mr. Black.”

Maya: “Show me your perky face, Nick!”

Phoenix: “You’ll have to settle for my exasperated one for the time being.”



Maya: “Oh, so like I am to you, Nick! You know, minus hair stylist.”

Phoenix: “You aren’t getting near the spikes.”

Maya: “And I guess I’m not really your everything either. Who’s this girlfriend you mentioned anyway!?”

Phoenix: “Maya, there is no girlfriend!”



Edgeworth: “What is that question even trying to ask? ‘How else would I become her manager,’ perhaps?”

Maya: “Maybe he’s asking why he can’t become her manager? It’s because she’s dead, dummy.”



???: “Hehe, ‘deep, deep inside.”

Edgeworth: “Larry Bartholomew Butz, you will leave this theater at once.”

Larry: “Okay, mom.”

Maya: “His middle name’s Bartholomew?”

Edgeworth: “I actually have no idea.”



Phoenix: “So the opposite of shy is crazy and the opposite of nice is immature?”



Edgeworth: “That is certainly an odd place for emphasis. I’d have emphasized the ‘not’ personally.”

Phoenix: “I’d have said ‘was’ too. She’s dead.”

Maya: “You really don’t care much about your dead friend, do you, Nick?”

Phoenix: “I’d probably care more if I even knew who she was in the first place.”



Edgeworth: “Nngh, caps lock disease and a run-on sentence to boot.”

Maya: “I don’t want to look at her carefully! She’s dead!”



Maya: “He is kinda creepy.”



Phoenix: “Agreed, fic-me.”



Maya: “So he was Mila’s assistant but he has an assistant of his own? Nick, get me an assistant!”

Phoenix: “Doesn’t Pearls count?”

Maya: “Hey yeah! Now get Pearly an assistant.”

Phoenix: “What would Pearls even have an assistant do?”

Edgeworth: “Likely aid in her schemes to force you two in to a romantic relationship.”

Maya: “N-Nick…”

Phoenix: “No assistant for Pearls. Got it.”



Edgeworth: “She brought you out? You were already there.”

Phoenix: “The author must mean ‘led us out’ or ‘took us out.’”

Edgeworth: “It is becoming more and more apparent this author does not speak English as a primary language.”



Edgeworth: “You’re tattling on him to his assistant now, Wright?”

Phoenix: “Hey, if he’s going to act like a child I’m going to treat him like one.”



Maya: “I’m a grown woman, thank you!”

Phoenix: “You could be young compared to the assistant. We don’t know how old she is yet.”

Maya: “I suppose. We’ve had witnesses even call you young.”



Maya: “Nick, what does the scouter say about his shouting level!?”

Phoenix: “It’s only level one.”

Maya: “Oh, well that’s not very impressive.”



Edgeworth: “Are you capable of leaving anyone in a good mood on the stand, Wright?”

Phoenix: “Well maybe if they’d stop lying to my face…”



Maya: “I just met the assistant and she already thinks I’m friendly? I guess I just come off that way, huh?”



Maya: “Oh no, I’m dead!”

Phoenix: “She means Mila’s killer, Maya.”

Maya: “Oh, but… ‘she’ was still referring to me I thought.”

Edgeworth: “This is why I’m such a stickler for grammar, Miss Fey.”

Maya: “Whatever. I just want to live through one of these fics.”



Maya: “Why are you yelling!?”

Phoenix: “I’ve never seen someone so excited about being called to testify in court.”



Edgeworth: “Oh wonderful. Now it’s suddenly in the first person.”

Maya: “He’s so loud even the narrator heard him!”



Phoenix: “But she missed and hit the wall.”

Maya: “At least she was close!”



Phoenix: “Well, we should probably go back to the detention center and double check this with our client.”

Maya: “Let’s go catch a movie instead. We already know the manager is the killer.”

Edgeworth: “Is this how you usually investigate, Wright? Wandering around aimlessly until your assistant gets you distracted?”

Phoenix: “Eh, pretty much.”

Edgeworth: “…How did I lose to this?”



Phoenix: “Wright. My last name is Wright.”

Maya: “Déjà vu!”



Edgeworth: “Mr. Finnegan, you have no jurisdiction over a private attorney. Furthermore, who issued this order to ‘take a rest?’ This is absurd.”

Phoenix: “Why does this guy have my number anyway? Don’t tell me he’s another friend I don’t know about.”

Maya: “So Jenna Reeds is Jenna Reed for sure now? Are these two different women with very similar names or did the author just forget his own characters?”



Maya: “Oh no, it doesn’t say ‘for now’ any more! Gumshoe’s been replaced forever!”

Phoenix: “He was taken from us too soon.”

Edgeworth: “Every bone in the man’s body was loyal to the core. Though he tried and he failed, his effort was at the very least admirable.”

Maya: “Good night, sweet Gumshoe, and a flight of ramen noodles sing thee to thy rest.”



Phoenix: “Don’t cry, Maya. Gumshoe will be back on the next case, I’m sure.”

Maya: “B-but he’s always there with his goofy smile and his ‘pals’ and… this new guy can’t even get your last name right. Gumshoe could at least do that.”



Edgeworth: “Six in the evening is not particularly late.”

Maya: “At least it’s not ‘6 pm in the evening,’ right?”

Phoenix: “Maybe it means it’s late here while it’s 6 pm in Japan?”

Edgeworth: “Hmm, Tokyo is 16 hours ahead of us. That would make it 2 am the previous day here. That’s technically early but it could be construed as late.”



Maya: “We were ‘forced’ to sleep? Like, gun-to-our-heads forced?”

Phoenix: “Geez, they send you a text message to sleep and they mean it.”

Edgeworth: “So Japan is a police state in this alternate universe? That might explain the incompetence displayed during the investigation thus far. It’s not negligence; it’s corruption.”



Phoenix: “Now we’re back in the office?”

Maya: “There’s no way we got back to America that quickly! Nick, can you teleport?”

Edgeworth: “You had better not still be in your office. It’s almost 10:30 and court always starts at 10 am sharp.”

Maya: “Sis did always say you had trouble telling time.”

Phoenix: “So I was a little late once in a while!”



Maya: “E-examination!? Nick, you are not a licensed doctor!”

Phoenix: “I… don’t think it means that kind of examination.”

Maya: “You keep your prying hands away from me!”

Edgeworth: “Honestly, Wright, she is hardly that type of girl.”

Phoenix: “You guys sure love picking on the man who saved you from the death penalty…”



Maya: “Quiet, fic-me! I am not ready to be examined!”

Phoenix: “I’m pretty sure it means we’re going to cross-examine the witnesses.”

Maya: “Well then why didn’t you ask if I was ready for court? That would have been way less disturbing.”

Edgeworth: “Wording things properly hasn’t exactly been a priority in this so far.”



Edgeworth: “Convict the witnesses, Wright? This is really your strategy?”

Phoenix: “What? No! It just turns out like that!”

Edgeworth: “I always had my assumptions. You really do just try to pin the crime on innocent people fulfilling their civic duty instead of allaying the accusations brought on your client, don’t you?”

Phoenix: *facepalm*



Edgeworth: “So even the prosecution is convicting the witnesses now!?”

Phoenix: “Awesome. My job just got easier.”

Edgeworth: “That matters little when court has already begun and you’re lazing about your office making unsettling passes at your legal aid.”

Maya: “We could still make it if you got me that time controlling fur coat, Nick. There’s a pass I wouldn’t mind. Oh… but your girlfriend probably would…”

Phoenix: *buries his head in his hands* “…How did this happen?”



Edgeworth: “You're not being billed by the sentence, author. You may use more than one.”



Edgeworth: “Showing up an hour and fifteen minutes late does not just ‘happen,’ Wright.”



Phoenix: “As always, the judge agrees with the prosecution.”

Maya: “Well he has a point this time, Nick.”



Maya: “Is he trying to console you?”

Edgeworth: “I believe the judge is talking down to you, Wright.”

Phoenix: *sighs* “I’m used to it.”



Edgeworth: “So she really is a private attorney then? Why is a state prosecutor not assigned to a murder case? This is a travesty.”

Maya: “I like how they had to recommend solving the case.”

Phoenix: “I know, right? What did they think we were going to do?”

Maya: “We could have set up a TV and ordered pizza and had a court lock-in! That would be so cool!”



Edgeworth: “You’ve already found the killer! As the prosecutor it’s your solemn duty to convict the accused. You are a disgrace, Ms. Reeds… Reed… whomever!”

Maya: “I thought you stopped acting like that.”

Edgeworth: “It is my job to convict, Miss Fey. It is the defense attorney’s job to exonerate. Between the two of us we chip away the lies to reveal the shimmering gem of truth. It is a symbiotic relationship that should be preserved no matter our personal feelings.”

Maya: “That’s the Edgeworth I know.”

Edgeworth: “Meanwhile, this so-called ‘prosecutor’ is attempting to convict witnesses like the Wright we know…”

Phoenix: “If they would stop being so guilty I wouldn’t do it!”



Maya: “Wow, he’s fast.”

Phoenix: “Pretty spry for an old guy.”



Phoenix: “Why would I want to chat with him?”

Maya: “For tips? You aren’t perky, tidy, or fashionable, Nick.”

Phoenix: “I’m tidy!”



Edgeworth: “Your theory is losing weight, Wright.”

Phoenix: “What theory?”

Edgeworth: “About the manager being the killer because he is the only other man in the story.”

Phoenix: “Oh yeah. We did just have another one pop out of nowhere, didn’t we?”

Maya: “Stick to your guns, Nick! It’s totally the manager!”



Phoenix: “So now the quiet street’s hollow too?”

Maya: “Well that doesn’t sound very safe. Heavy trucks would just fall right through!”

Edgeworth: “And people wonder why the city’s roads are in such disrepair.”



Maya: “Like a flight recorder? That’s a weird thing to give her.”

Phoenix: “The black box containing the black gun, remember?”

Maya: “Oh yeah.”

Edgeworth: “Her coat was brown before, was it not?”

Phoenix: “I’ll call him on that soon enough, I’m sure.”

Edgeworth: “And prove what, exactly?”

Phoenix: “That her coat was brown, I guess.”



Maya: “I thought it was a gun box, now it’s a falcon pen? This guy’s trying to pin the murder on a bird!?”

Edgeworth: “Falcon is a brand of pen. It’s highly expensive and, frankly, even I don’t see the point.”

Phoenix: “A pen is a pen as far as I’m concerned.”

Maya: “So these are like pens for falcons to use? Falcons can’t write! This whole testimony is full of contradictions!”

Edgeworth: “It is just the brand name, Miss Fey…”



Edgeworth: “See, not saw.”

Maya: “Hehe, seesaw.”

Edgeworth: *sighs*



Phoenix: “So this guy saw everything, including the defendant not shooting Mila, yet he still suspects him?”

Edgeworth: “Throwing something away is not firing a gun. Did this prosecutor not prepare her witness at all!?”



Maya: “I see a lot of them, actually.”



Edgeworth: “I would hope to shout, Wright.”



Phoenix: “Besides the author telling us this, what evidence is there the witness ‘knows fashion?’”

Maya: “Well, he thought Mila’s coat was ugly.”

Phoenix: “And I think Edgeworth’s lobster bib looks silly, but that doesn’t make me a fashion designer.”

Edgeworth: “It is a cravat!”



Phoenix: “I guess the judge doesn’t like his sense of style insulted.”

Maya: “I like his style. If he had a hat he’d look like a wizard!”



Maya: “How do you say something strongly?”

Phoenix: “Maybe I’m flexing while I speak.”

Maya: “Pffthahahaha”

Phoenix: “Come on, I’ve bulked up a little…”



Edgeworth: “Then why is the ‘King of Fashion’ running a two bit café?”

Maya: “KING is in all caps again. It’s another secret agency or something!”

Phoenix: “I suppose this is a bit more interesting when you think of it as a spy drama.”

Maya: “We would make such an awesome film noir detective team, Nick! One more reason I need a fur coat.”

Phoenix: “Those… aren’t exactly the same genres.”

Maya: “Those detectives always smoke and drink anyway. You’re not doing that in front of Pearly.”

Phoenix: “I’m not even a detective! I’m a lawyer!”

Maya: “You still hunt for clues. You show up in court. Detectives do that stuff!”

Phoenix: “Oh, now that’s really reaching.”

Maya: “You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to have nice things.”

Edgeworth: “Let me know when you two are finished bickering like a married couple.”



Maya: “Unless they’re colorblind. Don’t be so insensitive, Nick.”



Phoenix: “Well I said ‘everyone.’ I’d assume you’re covered in that, Mr. Cornel.”

Maya: “He’s not included in ‘everyone’ because he’s a cyborg too! Codename: KING!”

Edgeworth: “And what, pray tell, do you think this one stands for?”

Maya: “Uh… Killer Indigo Nose Goblin.”

Phoenix: “I can see why they just went with KING.”



Phoenix: “Let me guess, he’ll just say he was mistaken because he was looking out a tinted window and I’m back to square one.”



Phoenix: “Or he can be a total idiot and deny established facts.”

Edgeworth: “I can’t help but notice your primary strength lies in the stupidity of others.”

Phoenix: “Go with what works, I guess.”



Maya: “What does KING really stand for?”

Phoenix: “That is not my question.”



Phoenix: “Prove his style? Is this guy known for wearing fur coats too?”

Maya: “Don’t be mad ‘cause he’s stylin’ on you, Nick.”



Edgeworth: “And Ms. Reed finally pipes up… I think.”

Phoenix: “I don’t know who else would be objecting to me.”

Edgeworth: “Some indication of who’s speaking would help. Still, I’m curious why the witness mistaking the color of the coat matters at all. Everything else seems correct as far as we know it.”



Edgeworth: “Nngh…”

Maya: “Ooh, sick burn by Udgey.”

Phoenix: “Yeah, Edgeworth, can’t you see where I’m going? Perhaps you aren’t a good a lawyer as he thought.”

Edgeworth: “And just where are you going with this, Wright?”

Phoenix: “Uh… read on and we’ll see! You. I mean you’ll see.”



Edgeworth: “That seems to be your usual leaping to conclusions.”

Phoenix: “But… he owns the café! Why wouldn’t he be there?”

Maya: “Maybe he just leaves randomly throughout the day like Jean Armstrong.”

Edgeworth: “I presume you have some proof of this wild claim, Wright.”

Phoenix: “Of course I do.” (Curse you, speaking before thinking reflex!)

Edgeworth: “If you’re so certain, present it to the court.”

Phoenix: “…Not until the residing prosecutor asks.”

Edgeworth: “She had better…”



Phoenix: “How come no one ever asks the witnesses for proof?”

Edgeworth: “They swore an oath to remain honest.”

Maya: “Has any witness ever actually told the truth, though?”

Edgeworth: “Colias Palaeno.”

Phoenix: “Who?”

Edgeworth: “Which reminds me; if you’re ever headed to the Principality of Cohdopia, I have some coupons you can use.”



Maya: “Mr. Edgeworth’s right, Nick. How does that prove he wasn’t there?”

Phoenix: “Look, I don’t know. I’m done backing up this fictional me.”



Edgeworth: “English, Wright, do you speak it?”

Phoenix: “I’m sure that English that you thought I was speaking, I prove you wrong.”

Maya: “A royale with cheese!”

Phoenix: “…”

Edgeworth: “…”

Maya: “What, I can’t play too?”



Maya: “What the heck does a pen box have to do with fashion?”

Phoenix: “I guess they’re very fashionable pens.”

Edgeworth: “Pens are hardly a fashion statement. They’re writing utensils, Wright. No matter how expensive they may be they are not an accessory.”

Phoenix: “I think Edgeworth knows more about clothes than you do, Maya.”

Maya: “And I’m a girl!”

Edgeworth: *sighs*



Phoenix: “Wait a second, where did I get that?”

Edgeworth: “Only the gun was found in the trash. The box presumably went missing.”

Maya: “You can make evidence appear out of thin air, Nick! You should start a career as a magician!”

Phoenix: “I don’t have to paint my face and go around shirtless, do I?”

Maya: “But, Nick, you’d be so fabulous!”



Maya: “Why would you have an expensive designer pen, Mr. Cheap-Skate?”

Edgeworth: “You’re bluffing, Wright. There’s no way you would own such a frivolous object, even if you could afford one.”

Phoenix: “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right. Bulk rate ballpoints are where it’s at.”



Edgeworth: “Missing evidence appearing in Wright’s hand is indeed strange, Your Honor. I would recommend an investigation immediately.”

Phoenix: “In to what, exactly?”

Edgeworth: “Jenna Reed’s incompetence.”



Edgeworth: “Case in point. Her rebuttal makes me want to hand my King of Prosecutors trophy to Winston Payne.”

Phoenix: “You still have that thing? I thought you didn’t even want it in the first place.”

Edgeworth: “I seem to accumulate a lot of things I never asked for, such as geriatric stalkers, bumbling detectives, and-”

???: “And sexy thieves!”

Edgeworth: “Kay, I have no idea where you are or how you come and go as you please, but do not put words in my mouth.”

Kay: “First you don’t want me stealing and now you don’t want me giving. Make up your mind!”

Maya: “I thought they sealed your entrances. How did you even get in here?”

Kay: “I think the plot holes in these stories rip holes in the fabric of the theater or something. I dunno, but I'm outta here.”

Edgeworth: “Kay, wait, take us... blast it.”



Maya: “Well he gave up in a hurry.”

Phoenix: “If everyone broke like that we’d finish trials in a single day.”



Edgeworth: “…In the middle of court, Ms. Reed? You’re clamoring about making deals with witnesses in the middle of court?”

Phoenix: “What kind of deal would she make anyway? It’s not like a witness needs to make a plea bargain.”

Maya: “In this universe the witnesses are convicted, remember?”

Phoenix: “Oh yeah. No shortened sentence for this guy.”



Phoenix: “Just like how you’re not very good in the speaking?”



Maya: “All of them! All of the attentions!”



Edgeworth: “Just a customer? I’d hope some workers would be there as well.”

Phoenix: “Mila was killed at four in the morning, too. Would this place even be open? Dinky shops like this usually don’t go for 24 hours.”

Maya: “Maybe he was camped outside waiting for it to open.”

Phoenix: “…You’ve done that in front of burger joints, haven’t you?”

Maya: “N-no, of course not. That’s crazy. You’re crazy.”



Maya: “Crying on the outside while smiling on the inside? That’s the exact opposite of what Sis taught you to do, Nick!”

Edgeworth: “You seem a bit too elated as easily as the man fessed up, Wright.”

Phoenix: “Well I did have to conjure up missing evidence to do it. I’d hate to see my magical powers wasted.”



Maya: “Great job, Nick! Now conjure me up a burger.”

Phoenix: “I only conjure evidence.”

Maya: “Oh, then conjure up Mila’s fur coat. I want it.”

Phoenix: “So you’ve said…”



Maya: “He sounds delicious!”

Phoenix: “This guy knows all his customers by name? He must really not get that many.”



Maya: “Why, what’s he doing?”



Edgeworth: “It only takes 20 minutes to subpoena a man who, before this moment, was completely unrelated to the case?”

Phoenix: “If he didn’t come forward before he’s probably in on it and skipped town by now.”



Maya: “Woohoo! Recess!”

Phoenix: “Not that kind of recess.”

Maya: “Well I know that now. I was kinda disappointed when we didn’t have slides or monkey bars out back.”

Phoenix: (I probably shouldn’t admit I was too…)



Edgeworth: “If he really wasn’t at the scene, why did he know so many details?”

Phoenix: “Why did he harp on them being a pen box and a red coat anyway? Why not just say it was a box and a coat if he didn’t know facts?”

Edgeworth: “Part of me wants to say these details are important to the story and Mr. Cornel will once again be a relevant character but my heart of hearts knows that isn’t true.”



Maya: “Hey, she got her S back! Good for her!”

Phoenix: “Why is she coming over to talk to me?”

Edgeworth: “She’s suddenly realized she’s in over her head impersonating a prosecutor and desperately needs advice from a licensed attorney.”



Phoenix: “Defend myself? Don’t tell me I’m being accused again!”

Edgeworth: “On what grounds could she possibly make that case? Last time she accused you it was because you were a friend of the victim.”

Maya: “I’m just glad it’s not me for a change.”



Maya: “Actually she makes me feel kind of sorry for her. She just wanted to play prosecutor and now she’s in a real trial and has no idea what she’s doing.”

Edgeworth: “What she’s doing is a crime and deserves no sympathy.”

Phoenix: “Didn’t you illegally act as a defense attorney?”

Edgeworth: “You mean at your behest?”

Phoenix: “W-well…”

Edgeworth: “It was for the greater good. This lost little girl on the other hand is just ruining the trial regarding an apparently famous actress.”



Maya: “Wow, I’m not even going to attempt that acronym.”

Phoenix: “Wouldn’t the 20 minutes just take 20 minutes?”

Maya: “Well, you know…”

Phoenix: “Fur coats do not give you time powers!”

Maya: “Spoil sport.”



Phoenix: “Why!?”

Edgeworth: “So because it was proven the first witness did not actually see the crime they let the defendant go and accused his lawyer of the murder instead? I… I need Tylenol.”

Phoenix: “Maya, you always make some kind of nonsensical sense out of these stories. Help.”

Maya: “I got nothin’.”

Phoenix: “Welp, we’re all doomed then.”



Phoenix: “How do I even begin defending myself where there’s no case against me!?”

Maya: “Congratulations, you won by default?”

Edgeworth: “I almost wish this story just had a second chapter just so I could see where the author was going with this. It would be like some kind of psychological study.”



Maya: “I said no touching! No wonder you have to defend yourself, you perv!”

Edgeworth: “In court and everything, Wright? I dare say you’ve out done ‘Director’ Hotti.”

Phoenix: “Oh for the love of…”

Maya: “Just what will your girlfriend think?”

Phoenix: “For the last time, Maya, I was talking about you.”

Maya: *turns beet red* “Wh-what? N-Nick, I had no idea…”

Phoenix: “Ack! No, no, I-I meant you’re expensive and you eat too much.”

Maya: “Oh now that’s nice!”

Edgeworth: “You certainly have a way with words, Wright.”

Phoenix: “That wasn’t what I… It was a joke! I was just trying to make a joke and things got out of hand and… and how did this happen!?”

Maya: “Well it wasn’t a funny joke, Nick. You really hurt my feelings.”

Phoenix: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I’m sorry. Look, I’ll make it up to you.”

Maya: *crosses arms* "And just how do you plan to do that?"

Phoenix: "...I'll think of something, okay?"

Edgeworth: “She did express great interest in furs, Wright.”

Maya: “My friendship can’t be bought… but it’s a start. C’mon, Nick, let’s go shopping. You owe me!”

Phoenix: “Edgeworth, I am going to kill you.”

Edgeworth: “Hardly the thing to say to a state prosecutor.”

[Edgeworth stands and dusts himself off, watching as Maya leads a reluctant Phoenix off by the hand. He looks back to the blank screen and sighs. The suffering has only begun again.]

Last edited by nevertalk on Thu Jun 06, 2013 1:07 am, edited 4 times in total.

Great spork, nevertalk! I got some good chuckles out of it.

Now, we need more sporks!

Well, now I know what to do to avoid being on this group's chopping block.

This concept is really clever, and the commentary is very humorous. I especially like this latest one with the private prosecutor and Phoenix's mysterious friend that he himself doesn't know about. I look forward to many more sporkings.

---

Loved that! I was loling so much I had to hold my mouth shut. Especially where Gumshoe got totally written out for no reason, what the hell! Also the whole "If you're telling the truth then I trust you part" megalolz.

---

While scrolling through the old forums, I noticed a few pictures and sporkings that went unnoticed in the introductory post. If it's all the same with everyone else, I'm going to post those here for easy reference.

Sporkings:

Phoenix's Turnabout Chapter 2: Plato's Objection, by Neni

The Greatest Mystery Chapter 2, by Regiwi

The Ace attorneys day to larrys house and maya too, by Indochine Ramera

phenix vs godot 2: enemies become friends, by Eldariub

Truth and Dare, by Triplemathics

Complete Turnabout, by Neni (self-sporking)

The Greatest Mystery Chapter 3, by Regiwi

Pictures:

Hellipoter

Phoenix's Turnabout: Phoenix killing Edgeworth

Phoenix's Turnabout: Sue the f*** out of the world

Edgeworth's Nightmare

Edgeworth vs. The Management

Maya. Grape Juice.

Maya drops her donut

Gaze goes where?!

Franziska's Escape

The Amazing Spider-Worth

Badd's Footprint Spray

I might've missed a few, but this is what I managed to find after sifting through all the pages.

---

I found one more picture while reading some of them.
Gosh, I love these sporkings. I would do one, but I don't really like writing...

---

That's an incomplete version of Edgeworth's Nightmare. I omitted it because I wasn't sure if it counted.

---

Well, the first chapter's been sporked, but the rest are pretty good material if you want a crack fic.
I'll try to find more soon.

---

Pessimistic_Fool and I already sporked that one! But she... never posted it for some reason.

---

B-But her sporkings were awesome!! Did she do all of the chapters? There are 6 sporkable chapters in that fic after all...

---

We only did the first 3 chapters.

---

*late fool is late*
I'm truly sorry for neglected this forum so much. Problem is, I switched fandoms around summer last year, and the more I concentrated on new stuff, the less I thought of Ace Attorney. I had exchanged PMs with Neni a few times because I wanted her to approve of our sporking before posting it. The reason for this was that I had screwed up the continuity/rules with my second spork, and I wanted to avoid getting everyone upset again. Neni approved in the end, but told me that it would still take quite a while for the sporking thread to be reopened because she and some other sporkers were too busy studying (which I do understand), so then I concentrated even more on other things, and I kinda forgot to check if the thread was reopened, that's why I only saw it now. :(
I'll post our spork later, I just have to go buy some groceries and read up on the new spork first. Sorry for keeping you waiting!
Oh, and I think while I'm at it I might as well make a new list of links to older sporks since I see that mine aren't linked yet and I suppose some others might be missing as well.

ETA: Okay, so I got a complete list of sporks from the old thread in chronological order, and hopefully all the pics. I think chronological order works best because some sporks had referances to others or the fics reviewed in them. I hope somebody still reads this thread even though I was so late and caused a delay. :( If you see this, please respond in some way, and I'll post the spork I wrote with drthingums in the next post.



Previous sporks in chronological order:

Taste the Rainbow, part 1 (Neni): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8841221
Taste the Rainbow, part 2 (Neni): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8841532
Franziska and Miles (Neni): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8841874
Phoenix Wright: Puppet Balls (Triplemathics): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8842462

Phoenix Wright and the Horrible Day In Court (triplemathics): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8842618
Phoenix's Turnabout: By Witch of Truth (Neni): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8843397
Phoenix Wright and the Ultimat Case of Doom (Regiwi): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8843544

The Edgeworth and Franziska Story (Inigo Montoya): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8843683
A Bad Parody (General Tommy): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8844134
Phoenix Wright: Chaotic Attorney (Triplemathics): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8844229
Phenix Wright vs Godot (Fi101): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8844286
Dick Gumsho Turnaboot Adventure (Regiwi): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8844335

Raep Time (Dark Coffee Drinker): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8844357
Pretty Pretty Prosecutor (Dark Coffee Drinker): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8844832
Hard Candy (Dark Coffee Drinker): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8845270
Turnabou Reteling (Eldariub): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8845718
Ace Attorneys, the Reel Definition of the Law (Eldariub): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8845993

A Fistful of Justice (Triplemathics): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8846466
ImPerfect Wish (Inigo Montoya): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8846611
The Greatest Mystery (Regiwi): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8846618
A Day at Edgeworth's (Pessimistic_Fool): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8850979
Thirty Ps and the Dark Decoy (Neni): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8851035
--- (Regiwi): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8851650

The Ace Attorneys Day to Larrys House and Maya Too (Indochine Ramera): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8852026
Phoenix Wright: Daring Love Confessions (aka the spork that went wrong and makes me feel bad in hindsight - pessimistic_fool): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8852162
Phenix vs Godot 2: Enemies Become Friends (Eldariub): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8853005

Truth and Dare (Triplemathics): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8875235
Complete Turnabout (fix spork - Neni): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8906733
Battle of the Cyborgs (HAHAHA): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8909404
Hospial Havoc (Regiwi): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8910271
The Fight Over Phoenix (nevertalk): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8911424
Phoenix Wright: The Endless turnabout, part 1 (nevertalk): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8914930

Ace Attorney Randomness (FranziskaVonKarmaWhippedYou): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8914990
Sleepless (Pessimistic_Fool): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8915409
Phoenix Wright: The Endless turnabout, part 2 (nevertalk): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8915490

some R18 fic (Chloe): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8915529
The Coma (FranziskaVonKarmaWhippedYou): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8915640
(^This spork was not counted as part of the "official" continuity. See Neni's comment immediately after the spork.)
The Bet (nevertalk): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8918334
Ace Attorney: The Wrong Man, the Wrong Job (nevertalk): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8920729

Shinas Discovery (drthingums): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8921036
Apollo Likes Pranks (drthingums): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8923966
Another Aging Objection (Chloe) - http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8925539
Some fic from the kink meme (Wudgeous): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8926411
Manfred in Crackland (Eldariub): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8929987
Pretty Pretty Prosecutor, part 2 (Eldariub): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8950968
JAck and Fraceska (Revriley): http://z11.invisionfree.com/court_recor ... &p=8954952



pics:
Hobo Edgeworth and the elevator man: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... worth2.png
Hobo Edgeworth on the stairs: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... worth1.png
Phoenix's Turnabout scene 1: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... boutp1.png
2: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... boutp2.png
3: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... boutp3.png
Pimp judge: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... -Udgey.png
Francheska Di Karma: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... 1298101385
Singing Edgeworth: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... 1298181708
Explosive cat-eared attorney: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... 1298423530
Zombie outbreak crossover: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... ipoter.png
My law skills are userless in space: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... ofDoom.png
Edgeworth's nightmare (based on Truth and Dare): http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... htmare.png
Angry sporking Edgeworth: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... gement.png
Sporking Phoenix: "...Maya. Grape juice.": http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... eJuice.png
Edgeworth's gaze shifted down...: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... azegif.gif
Maya dropping her donut: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... nutgif.gif
Sporking Franziska breaks free: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... Escape.png
Spider-worth: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... -worth.png
Footprint spray: http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz32 ... dyBadd.png
The Sporking Theater (posted by Eldariub): http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/6020/sporkshere.png

Wow, how did I completely miss the reboot of this thread?

I really enjoyed reading the sporkings from the original thread on the backup forums. Too bad only one sporking has happened so far in this thread, but I have already subscribed just in case anybody makes new ones!

Whoa, nice list Pessimistic Fool. It's awesome to see this thread get some attention again.

---

Okay, let's see if I remember how to post these things... :D
Spork by drthingums and Pessimistic Fool.
Ahem.

Hello and welcome to another episode of our popular sporking theater!
Today we're going to make things a little more special for your entertainment.
Our sporkers today are...

...totally not going to be reveiled!
Speakers: Um... are you trying to get fired?
Host: I'm not working for you, babe. Not yet! ^^
Speakers: Ugh... is this--
Host: Uh-uh-uh! No names in the theater! No spoiling the fun!
Speakers: Whatever... -.-
Host: Anyways, on to our lovely guests here today! Say hi, guys! -...and ladies, could it be? ^^
Guest #1: *says hi*
Guest #2: What is this, a chatroom? Talk normally!
Guest #1: Okay, okay.
Guest #3: This is already starting to get annoying.
Guest #4: This is fun! Hey everybody! Am I on TV now?
Guest #5: I think we're off-camera right now. Hi, guys!
Host: Okay, here are the rules: For our guests today, the challenge is to... uh... chit-chat, pretty much. BUT! I get to pick the topic, which is, well, the movie. For our audience at home, we're playing two rounds of GUESS WHO, in which you will have to guess- yeah who am I kidding, right? You all know the rules. ^^ Here we goooooo!

[The lights are turned out and the fic starts playing.]


Guest #3: At last, an author with ambition!
Guest #5: What foolish fool of a fool...
Guest #1: ...to write this foolish attempt of a foolish fool's foolish fan fiction!
Guest #2: Stop fooling the foolish audience, you fools!
*whip-crack*
Host: WAH! Hey, what was that for?
Guest #1: I guess she was 'fooled' by the darkness surrounding our identities.
*whip-crack*
Guest #1: GAH! *whimper*

Guest #2: Well, if we're reviewing it here, I'd call that a success.

Guest #1: Video game piracy is bad, m'kay?

Guest #1: More zombies? Why is it that so many people look at us and think 'needs more walking corpses'?

Guest #3: Wouldn't have to run very fast then, I think.
Guest #4: Ohoho. I would have to disagree with you there, M-... M-,m-my friend.
Guest #5: You're friends now?
Guest #3: Not in my definition of the word.
Guest #4: Aw, cheer up now! We're all here for fun, right?
Guest #1,2 and 3: ...
Host: That's right, candidate 4! It's all about the fun in our SUPERCOOL SPORKING THEA--
Guest #3: Cut it out!

Guest #5: 'The' Trucy? Is that a new species? Maybe you could buy them in different colors, like furbies. I wonder if you could teach them a new name or if you'd have to call each and every one of them 'Trucy'.
Guest #1: I'm not sure if I would like to have a Furbie using my computer. Those things are scary.
Guest #5: How so? They're all fluffy and cuddly and cuuuuuuuuuute!
Guest #2: Please don't ever let me hear you use that voice again!
Guest #4: They are kind of cute alright.
Guest #5: See? Nameless Person X likes them, too.
Guest #3: I wouldn't rely on Nameless Person X's sense of taste.

Guest #5: So she really is slow even in the fic! Why were you running away again?

Guest #3: You just stalked her. Make up your mind!
Guest #4: And with a rifle and all! That's no way to treat an old lady, pal.
Guest #5: Yeah, pal!
Guest #1: I'm not your pal, pal!
Guest #3: Would you quit it already?!

Guest #1: Where did the Joker suddenly come from?
Guest #4: Maybe it's the Phantom?
Guest #5: I thought the Phantom had a mask and a tuxedo.
Guest #1: Not that phantom, M- my friend.

Guest #1: It sure is nice of this author to clarify that it's older women he doesn't like, as opposed to women in general.
Guest #2: Thank you for reminding us all.
Guest #1: Any time.

Guest #5: Huh? That was it? That's the whole story?
Guest #1: Wait, there's another two chapters.
Guest #2: Ah, well, if they're all as long as the first, we should be out of here in no time.

Guest #2: Yes, that's very sad. Let us all mourn about this for a minute or two!
Host: And with this, the first round of our popular sporking theater show is over! Doing great, everybody!
Guest #4: Really? Did I win something?
Host: Of course you did, candidate number four! You all win a bunch of free candy from our lovely sponsors in the management! *pushes some kind of remote and a great amount of candy and confetti come raining out of the air vent*
Guest #5: Yaaaay!
Speakers: I don't think I ever agreed to this.
Host: Of course not, it was supposed to be a surprise. Pretty cool, huh? *grins*
Speakers: I will be accepting cash or Mastercard.

Guest #2: Come again?
Guest #5: The musical? Really? That's kind of a weird crossover alright.
Guest #3: A foolish product of a foolish idea spawned from a foolish fool's mind.
Guest #1: ...pal.
Guest #5: We need to include more trademark quotes. Ab-SO-lutely.

Guest #5: Ooh, magic. I love magic! Hey, that person next to me! Can you do a magic trick?
Guest #1: Well, uh... actually, I can make a coin disappear. *takes one out* See, now it's here... *puts hands together* and now... *opens them* it's gone.
Guest #5: ...No, it's right there, on the floor, where you dropped it.
Guest #1: Uuh, well...
Guest #5: That's not very impressive, Nick. Even I can do better than that. At least I can make burgers disappear.
Phoenix: (You can also make evidence disappear...)
Host: Guys! You're spoiling everything!!
Phoenix: Oh, sorry, Larry.
Larry: AAAAARRRGHHHH!!!!!

Guest #2: How fitting.

Phoenix: Not to be confused with the Wright A Better Fanfic Agency.
Maya: Ba-dum tish!

Phoenix: Did he just salute?
Guest #2: Did he just refer to that attorney as "baby"?
Guest #3: I thought he was a horse.
Phoenix: ?
Guest #2: Just... don't ask!

Maya: "He must be crushed! He must be smashed! Kill... kill..."
Guest #2: To the management: Please don't give Maya Fey any more candy! Thank you.
Larry: That wasn't the management, that was me, silly.
Guest #4: It's okay, pal, just leave it to me! *grabs candy from Maya and starts munching away*
Guest #3: You two are the worst gluttons I have ever seen!

Guest #2: It's 'an uncomfortable silence where neither were sure', if anything! Foolish fools!
Guest #3: Sto-stop impersonating people! It scares me.
Larry: Stop telling the audience who's impersonating!
Guest #3: Stop telling me what to do! *whip-crack*
Maya: Stop fighting, you guys!
Guest #4: Yeah! No fighting, pal! I mean, guys! I mean... anyway, no fighting!
Maya: Does anyone anywhere not know who we are at this point?

[The fic is paused.]

Larry: *sighs* You're right... guess the suspense is kinda lost with you guys.
Franziska: Does this mean we can go now?
Larry: Oh no no, don't worry about that! I have a backup plan.
Edgeworth: Backup plan?
Larry: With the help of my LOVELY ASSISTANT! Let's hear it for our new candidates!!
Phoenix: What?
Maya: 'New candidates'?
Edgeworth: 'Lovely... assistant'?

[A well familiar tune starts playing as the doors fly open and a lovely assistant in a glittering costume drags in a number of 'candidates'.]

Edgeworth: KAY?
Kay: The one and only!
Larry: OK, my backup plan is simple. I choose 4 people from these guys to take over the sporking. Let’s see...I'll use...that Antennas guy, the chick in the top hat, the rocker-guy, and that hot scientist chick.
Apollo: My name is APOLLO JUSTICE!
Larry: Whatever. Now let’s go backstage and make you indisping...indisking...indestinjish...un-tell-apart-able by sight.
Franziska: It’s indistinguishable, you foolishly foolish fool! *Whips Larry*

[While Larry recovers, the new sporkers are taken out of sight.]

Voice from backstage: Wait, what are you doing to-NOOOOOO! NOT MY SPIKES! YOU BASTARDS!

[5 minutes later...]

Larry: Ready guys?
Guests: No!
Larry: Well tough! *resumes fic*

Anonny #1: Why would anyone even ask that question? And if you want to be called Klavier, then you should at least call others by their ACTUAL NAMES instead of "Herr Forehead" or "Fraulein Dectective", glimmerous fop!

Anonny #2: Of course he is! He killed 2 people, tried to kill a socially crippled 12-year-old and tried to ruin Mr Wright’s life!

Franziska: “Stuffed into out”!? What a foolishly foolish mistake!
Larry: Franzy, those four are sporking, not you. Now shut up!
Phoenix: I think he means business. Might as well do as he says.

Anonny #3: And you didn’t tell anyone about this?

Anonny #1: Yeah, for RIPOFF!

Anonny #2: Antroquinine?
Anonny #4: Scientifically speaking, the author probably just misspelled atroquinine. See, he mentioned lacing stamps with it.

Anonny #3: He took his robes off after a few seconds?
Edgeworth: Thank you for disturbing us all, whatever-your-name-is!
Phoenix: *sings in a low voice* Oh say, does that star-spangled purple robe yet wave?
Kay: Shut up! Both of you!
Larry: How are we supposed to run a show here with you disturbing the candidates like that? I should disqualify you... but nah, I'm just too nice a guy.

Anonny #3: Unicorns crap?
Anonny #2: Eeeww, that’s disgusting.
Anonny #4: Well they would if they were real.

Gumshoe: I did WANT to be a wizard once but I never went to any-AARRRGGGHHH!
Kay: Now now Gummy, you’re not sporking anymore, so shut up!
Phoenix: DON’T GRIN WHILE HOLDING THAT TASER!
Maya: Yeah, bad memories.

Anonny #2: So Kristoph’s Harry Potter now?
Phoenix: And I never would have thought Lotta and Hermione were-GAAAHHHH!
Maya: NNIIIICCCCKKK! *Attacks Kay*

Anonny #1: Scientifically speaking, it’s obvious! Just ask Drew Misham!

Anonny #4:*snigger* Dummheit. How appropriate.

Maya: HEY! All Magatama are belong to-OOF! Right, that’s it! *bites Kay. Hard.*

Anonny #3: What’s a “Riese Huhn”?
Anonny #1: No idea.

Edgeworth: Since when was Gant Voldemort?
Larry: Kay might be...busy, but come on... don't be a spoilsport, Edgey!
Gumshoe: Are you DROOLING over the girls’ catfight behind that podium, pal!? Put your hands up, NOW!
Franziska: W-What are you implying? Don't say such foolish things in such a disturbing order! It's irritating!
Anonny #1: DISGUSTING!
Phoenix: DO NOT WANT!

Anonny #3: Hey look guys, that orb just predicted the future!

Anonny #1: And that’s ALL he did?

Anonny #4: The oldest trick in the book. I can’t believe Kristoph fell for it!

Anonny #3: That was lame! I mean, he screams and goes straight back to Germany. AND TANG LETS HIM!

Anonny #2: You only JUST figured that out?

Anonny #2: ...I should have expected this. I mean, this is a crackfic!

Anonny #1: I thought locking yourself in the bathroom just took a few seconds.
Anonny #3: And I didn’t know fictional wizards showing up at your law firm gave you diarrhoea.
Phoenix: His law firm? Wouldn't I get a say in that?

Maya: I don't know. We've had worse.
Phoenix: Yeah, it's gonna be pretty hard to beat trials in space, exploding suns and Spiderworth.
Gumshoe: Aw, I feel so left out right now.

Edgeworth: You need a website to find anagrams for a person's name?
Apollo: And half the address is missing too!
Trucy: Scientifically speaking-- wait, was that my name just now?

[A cheerful jingle starts playing and the lights in the theater flash.]

Larry: That's right, so-and-so! You and your fellow candidates just finished the second round. Congratulations!
Apollo: Se-Second... round? Is there more than one?
Larry: Well, only one left now. But before we get to that, let's HAVE A LOOK AT THE LOVELY PRIZES YOU'VE WON!!!
Kay: That's right, Larry! And what could be better for our second round prize than NOISEMAKERS AND PARTY HATS!!!!

[She pulls a large party cracker out of her bag and pops it, sending hats and noisemakers everywhere along with another amount of confetti.]

Apollo: That's all we get for...this!?
Franziska: Hmph! What kind of immature people do you suspect us to--
Maya: Party hat! Party hat! I want a party hat! *grabs one that is left over and puts it on*
Trucy: Me too! *shoves Maya out of the way*
Gumshoe: Ooh, noisemakers! I love these little things! They give you such a nostalgic feeling. *rattle rattle toooot*
Franziska: Ugh. Remind me again why we are doing this!
Apollo: I'm as clueless as you are.
Phoenix: *sigh* I'm afraid it's my own fault, more or less. I shouldn't have asked him to stay. We should have just thrown him out while we still could...
Larry: Aw, come on, it was fun!
Phoenix: One morning, this guy comes strolling into my office like--
Fictional Larry: "Yo Nick! Check out this super cool piece of art!"
Fictional Phoenix: "'Trial in San Francisco... -a romantic novel in 35 pictures'??!!!"
Fictional Maya: "Ooh, wanna see, wanna see!"
Phoenix: ...I still call that backstabbing, by the way.
Edgeworth: So let me guess: Next thing he told you how--
Fictional Larry: "There's only ONE copy, you see, I haven't found a publisher yet."
Edgeworth: ...and how he would--
Fictional Larry: "...just have to let you guys battle it out, I guess."
Edgeworth: ...with a silly grin on his face?
Phoenix: Yeah, that's about it.
Larry: Alright, everyone! Break's over! Time for the final round! And this time, you all get to spork as your usual, boring old selves! Ready? GO! *resumes fic*
Franziska: Finally!

Apollo: Great, more half-URLS!
Phoenix: Ha... ha... haaaaa.
Edgeworth: Groan.

Apollo: Oh, boo-hoo. Well we all have to do things we don't like, whatever-the-authors-name-is!
Franziska: Hmph. A pathetic attempt of an apology if ever there was one. Though to the author's defence, I wouldn't want to read this mess a second time either if I could help it.

Edgeworth: The joke is getting quite old by now.

Maya: His desk?
Trucy: What IS this "thing"?
Edgeworth: Apparently, it's misshapen beyond recognition, for some reason.

Phoenix: You couldn't even identify a roll of toilet paper?

Ema: This is lame! Why would anyone leave toilet paper on Mr. Edgeworth's desk?
Phoenix: Yeeeah, I would probably not check under the desk if I were you. Eew!
Edgeworth: Can it, Wright!

Phoenix: ...and another one! And yet another one! Edgeworth marvelled at the wonders of printed toilet paper.
Gumshoe: Heh heh, that's okay, pal. I love that stuff, too. It looks all expensive and luxury and all, doesn't it? *rattle rattle rattle*

Edgeworth: No, I'm sure that roll of 'signed' toilet paper randomly appeared on my desk all by itself.

Franziska: If they ever dared to put me on voicemail, there would be a lot of salary cutting going around, I assure you.
Apollo: Don't you mean whipping?
Phoenix: That too.

Phoenix: Yes, I'm sure he'll be excited to hear exactly how you shouted "AAARGGHHH!" the other day.
Gumshoe: Now that's just ridiculous, pal! Mr. Edgeworth never loses his temper like that. Right, Mr. Edgeworth?
Edgeworth: Not a word, Wright!

Maya: "Detective Gumshoe to the principal's office, please! Detective Gumshoe to the principal's office!"

Maya: Not even so much as a greeting? That's just cold!
Gumshoe: No, I don't mind, pal. Mr. Edgeworth is a busy man, you know.

Franziska: You all need to be more explicit! For all that detective knows, she might just run off to arrest the Charmin Bear!

Phoenix: Oh no... it's not over yet!
Edgeworth: Of course not... *sigh*

Edgeworth: I'm actually familiar with the franchise that far, thank you very much.

Edgeworth: Yes, I keep that right next to my costumized Wii and I-Phone.
Maya: You have a Wii? *is amazed*
Edgeworth: No.
Maya: Oh... *looks disappointed*

Phoenix: Wait...
Gumshoe: Oh, I get it! It's a quiz round!

Gumshoe: Where's my buzzer? I'm so excite--

Gumshoe: Aw...

Gumshoe: Ooh, I got i--

Gumshoe: Aw. You're just too quick for me, Mr. Edgeworth.
Maya: *whispers in Phoenix' direction* He knows it's still just a fic, right?

Franziska: If it does anything for your ego, I'll buy you as many preschool games as you wish. Then, you can leave all that hard prosecuting to the adults.
Edgeworth: How kind of you. But I'll have to decline.

Franziska: Well, maybe preschool would be a tad too high for you, after all.

Edgeworth: And now, I am apparently training my impressive reading skills. I wonder if I'm advanced enough to know how to pronounce 'Voynich' and 'Zodiac'.
Franziska: Now now, you know little children shouldn't read about serial killers.

Edgeworth: Again with the purple!

Edgeworth: Seriously, at which point was I turned into a five-year old?
Apollo: Probably back on the train, by that guy in the robes.
Trucy: I wonder... it would kinda make sense, what with him running away all of a sudden, you know.

Phoenix: Oh no, you got stranded in Comic Reliefia!
Maya: I think he wants to hang up your mantle for you. Maybe he's a waiter or something?
Apollo: Well, he won't be getting any tip anytime soon, shouting at people like that.

Apollo: Well, that was pointless.
Edgeworth: At least the author spared us the further shenanigans I got myself into on my way.

Edgeworth: So now after all this time, the author chose to enlighten the reader about this little detail.

Franziska: This is hardly the time for sightseeing. Get somebody over there already!

Phoenix: Um... you took swabs of what, exactly? The sand? The digital camera? Your shoes?
Gumshoe: Yeah, I'm afraid forensics won't get anything useful from those, sir.

Ema: What? One does not "just happen to have" a bottle of luminol! That stuff's expensive!
Apollo: Uh, Ema? That's a bottle of Luminal.
Ema: Well, Luminal is COMPLETELY different from Luminol!

Ema: *blushes* Oh... but... but why would I do that? I could hardly even afford that. What would he do with it, anyway?
Phoenix: Carry it around in the desert, apparently.
Franziska: And "were" appears twice. Foolish fools.

Phoenix: So somebody went through all the time and effort to wash the sand, instead of, say, just rearrange it, which would have taken less than a minute?

Edgeworth: But it sure was nice of the killer to stand back and wait until the victim was about finished writing the message before he washed it off.

Edgeworth: So not only am I a five year old, but I'm also suffering from a severe lack of taste.
Maya: It sounds kinda cute, actually. NYAN-NYAN-NYAN...
Phoenix: Somebody give her another candy bar, PLEASE!!

Maya: *chewing on a fresh candy bar* You got the wrong line. It's 'wHaT's YoUr FaVoRiTe HoRrOr MoViE'. Amateur!
Phoenix: You know you're not supposed to watch that kind of movie, Maya.
Maya: *still chewing* It was only the commercial, Nick. Relaxe!

Apollo: Bushes in the desert?
Edgeworth: And you have no problem whatsoever with wood goblins in the desert?
Apollo: Point taken.

Maya: Wait, so this is a Russian desert? What was Shelly de Killer doing in Russia? What were YOU doing in Russia?
Phoenix: And Soviet Russia, no less.
Trucy: Russia has deserts?

Phoenix: Yes, poor demented, five year old, probably heavily drugged Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: Why, thank you. What would I have done without this most valuable information?
Apollo: Why does the author keep putting in half-URLs!?
Phoenix: We don't actually have to check out all those links, do we? Can we just-- Oh, wait, does this mean it's over?

[The lights in the theater go on and another jingle starts playing.]

Larry: Yes, sadly, this is the end of our WONDERFUL SPORKING THEATER SHOW! Wasn't it great, you guys?
Edgeworth: *glares at him*
Franziska: *ignores him completely*
Apollo: *is clearly holding a grudge*
Klavier: No.
...
Maya: So, who's the winner?
Gumshoe: Yeah, pal! Don't keep us waiting!
Larry: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Our GREATEST BESTEST MOST AWESOMEST--
Edgeworth: Just spit it out already!
Maya: It's me, right? I contributed the most and was really funny, and I'm also very cute!
Phoenix: Don't say anything you might regret later on, Maya.
Larry: Weeeell... you did entertain the audience, I think, and you are cute, buuuut then you interrupted the second round and blurted out Nick's identity just like that, so I'm not really sure... what does my lovely assistent say?
Kay: *instinctively rubbing her bandaged hand* I say disqualified! She didn't play nice.
Maya: *puffs cheeks* You didn't play nice!
Larry: Yeeeah, well, it's a really tough choice alright... ah, but don't worry! Because I'm such a generous host and you were all trying, I've got some great news for you! You can ALL have a copy of my glorious masterpiece! I payed for the first 50 copies myself!
Phoenix: You WHAT?!!
Edgeworth: Laaaaarrryyyy!!!!!!
Apollo: Oh boy.
Franziska: *strains her whip* Come over here so I can show my appreciation! *whipcrack*
Larry: WAAAGH! H-Hey, Franzy... just wait a minute till you see this-- *whipcrack* G-AAAARGH!
Apollo: *leafs through Larry's "masterpiece"* The whip lady and that crazy guy...KISSING!?
Franziska: You too! *whips Apollo*
Apollo: What was that for!?

[While Franziska is busy whipping the two of them, the other sporkers slowly leave the theater. Maya sneakily grabs a copy of Trial In San Francisco off Larry's podium as she leaves.]

Maya: You know what, all this talk about musicals really got me thinking. Don't you think it would be so cool to have our own musical? Ooh, I bet I'd be played by a really pretty actress! Although... somehow I got a feeling that you would totally outstage me, Nick.
Phoenix: Me? Outstage YOU? I don't think that's even possible.

[Thus they leave the theater, with Larry's screams fading behind them.]
*This show was brought to you by CORNY BITS! A bit less? A bit more! Now available in three different flavors!

I honestly don't know whether it was ingenious or not the best idea for the format behind this sporking. The fic itself is already very random and nonsensical (certainly not to the level of "Phoenix's Turnabout", but it's up there). To add to the randomness by having the sporkers be anonymous at first does kinda fit, but at the same time, I felt like it was difficult to follow.

Not to say I didn't like it, mind you. It was quite funny (especially the commentary on Edgeworth's random age regression), and I liked the fact that you two were trying something new with the format. However, like I said before, it was a bit difficult to follow, both because of the anonymous guests for the first two chapters, and the fact that the cast for this sporking was so large. It definitely felt like a case of too many cooks spoiling the broth, if you get my meaning.

So, in conclusion, randomness can be fun, but for a fic this random, the sporking needs at least a dose of sanity to make it coherent. At least, that's what I think. For what it's worth, I did enjoy the commentary, and as I've stated, I applaud you two for taking a risk and trying something new with the format for sporkings. For that, I give you top marks.

---

Whoah! Just now realized that we moved to a new location. (So that's why I didn't see any updates in the thread...)

For those of you who don't recognize me (or forgot I existed, heh), I participated in the old sporking thread, and have one sporking to my name.

Whelp, off to find bad fanfiction to spork! And actually read the new thread.

Hey, welcome back. I don't have an account on the back-up forms, but I kept up with the thread.

I couldn't have said this better myself. Good job you two!

---

Alright, time for me to take a stab at this.

Tonight's Episode: Of Mice and Ominous Typos

Rating:

This is a bad one, folks. The author has no idea how grammar, storytelling, logic, or the Phoenix Wright world work. It's rife with errors of all sorts, and the plot makes no sense. I would've rated it lower, but the author's botched attempt at a twist ending is just an insult to my intelligence.

And yet, it's still not as bad as Phoenix's Turnabout. Go figure.

Let's meet the sporkers!

Phoenix Wright This will not end well.

Maya Fey Don't worry, Nick! I'll be with you every step of the way! Um, just as long as there's no porn.

Miles Edgeworth I don't know why I get indignant about this sort of thing anymore.

And Franziska von Karma NO! I WILL NOT GO THROUGH THIS HELL AGAIN! LET ME GO, YOU FOOLISHLY FOOLISH FOOLS!

*Our story begins as it usually does, in the Sporking Theater. Franziska is making a ruckus as she's being dragged by the FBI agents to her seat, where our usual sporkers are waiting*

Franziska: No! I refuse! I will press charges for this!

Edgeworth: Franziska, I've already tried that. It doesn't work.

FBI Agent: Look, lady. We won't handcuff you this time. Just, try not to destroy the screen. For your own sake.

Franziska: *becoming puzzled* What do you mean by that?

FBI Agent: Just what I said, ma'am. Enjoy!

*runs out and locks the door*

Phoenix: Enjoy. HA! That's a laugh. I mean, when's the last time we actually enjoyed one of these things?

Maya: I dunno. Sometimes the sporking was kinda fun.

Phoenix: That wasn't "fun" Maya. That was us keeping our sanity.

Maya: *sulks* I still think it was fun...

Franziska: *clutching at her shoulder* Let's get this over with as quickly as possible.

*The fic begins*

Phoenix: Right off the bat, the author can't get my name right. That's quality right there.

Maya: Huh. Something about that last name seems awfully familiar...

Edgeworth: The feeling is mutual, Ms. Fey. Let us pray that it is merely the author's incompetence.

Phoenix: Wait, so I'm both Phoenix Wright and Phoenix White? How can that be?

Franziska: This description makes no sense. I don't even know where to begin.

Edgeworth: Keep in mind we haven't even gotten to the actual story yet.

Franziska: So many errors this early?! The fool must be punished! *Screen-whip, followed by an electric shock from Franziska's seat* OW! What the-?!

Speakers: The Management would like to take this time to tell sporkers that destruction of the screen is strictly prohibited. Violators of this policy will receive a mild electric shock.

Franziska: *sputters angrily*

Maya: Must be the new precautions the guys were talking about when we first came back here.

Edgeworth: How barbaric!

Phoenix: I dunno. Maybe it's kinda fitting. *CRACK* OW! Okay, I had that coming.

Franziska: *growls* Let's just get on with it.

Maya: *ponders* White and blue. There's another color missing from that...

Edgeworth: Please, Ms. Fey. Do not speculate any more about that. I have a feeling about what's coming, and I am hoping against hope that I am wrong.

Phoenix: This might sound cliché, but I've got a bad feeling about this.

Maya: Whoa whoa, wait! My sister came back to life and died again?! How?! Why?!

Franziska: Your redundancies are unwelcome. *Screen-whip, ZAP* OW!

Edgeworth: Also, it's stood, not standed.

All: THAT'S WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW!

Phoenix: So am I Phoenix Wright or Phoenix White? Make up your mind, author!

Edgeworth: I'm personally curious about the need to insert robotic mailmen into the narrative. They serve no purpose other than to say "it's the future", but our technology is not that far beyond the modern era.

Phoenix: Well, unless you count stuff like the MASON System and Little Thief.

Speakers: The Management would like to remind Mr. Phoenix Wright that breaking the Fourth Wall is strictly prohibited.

Franziska: Wait, how come he doesn't get shocked?!

Speakers: ...

Franziska: *grumble mutter*

Maya: Am I the only one getting an ominous vibe from how the author misspelled "read"?

Edgeworth: No, you are not, Ms. Fey.

Maya: *gulp*

Phoenix: So, is the letter speaking to me, or am I reading it evilly just for my own amusement?

Edgeworth: I'm confused as to why this had to be a letter. An e-mail or a phone call would've made more sense.

Phoenix and Maya: *jaws drop*

Edgeworth: *head in his hands* I knew it! I knew this would happen! Of all the time I had to be right about something, why did it have to be this time?!

Phoenix: You mean you knew this would turn out to be some crazy AU fic where I'm somehow related to the scumbag Redd White?!

Edgeworth: It was merely an inference. And oh, how I wish I was wrong.

Franziska: Misuse of ellipses! *Screen-Whip, ZAP* OW!

Phoenix: No, she was in jail for wiretapping. But thanks for trying.

Edgeworth: Also, the Big House is a colloquialism for jail. There's no big house in jail. And how does someone gasp with air?

Phoenix: Edgeworth, if you pick out every little detail, we're going to be here all day.

Edgeworth: If you were just released, why did you feel the need to break out? Also, it's broke, not breaked.

Phoenix: And isn't my last name White in this story? How am I related to April May?

Phoenix: Exactly my point, Fic-Me.

Franziska: Stop being redundant! *Screen-whip, ZAP* OW! I hate this establishment!

Maya: I am totally lost.

Phoenix: You're not alone, Maya.

Phoenix: Maybe because it didn't happen?

Maya: Wait, so did you shout the epic no, or did you write it on a piece of paper? And if you wrote it on a piece of paper, why?

Edgeworth: And it's wrote, not writed! Does this author have no grasp of using the past tense?

Phoenix: I think that's the least of this author's problems.

Phoenix: How does one flirt like a straw? Oh, and Ms. May? You can take your destiny and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. I'm not working for the man who murdered my mentor.

Franziska: More misuse of ellipses, and more spelling errors! Have you no shame?! *Screen-whip, ZAP* OW!

Edgeworth: What I'm confused about is why would anyone put strangers in their will?

Maya: Hey, that's mean, Nick! Sending me off on stupid errands while everything else is going on.

Phoenix: Maya, I don't even know what's going on! I use something called "whitemail" to change the law so that everyone is innocent?! What the heck?!

Edgeworth: For the record, the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" does exist, and it doesn't mean everyone is innocent. This author clearly has no concept of how the legal system works.

Edgeworth: Author, you can't brag that something isn't a typo when it clearly is.

Phoenix: Okay, when the heck did I become a mad scientist? And why did I bring Mia back to life just to kill her again? I-I can't justify this. Maya, feel free to hate me.

Maya: *looking hurt* Nick, I...

Phoenix: *sighs* I'm sorry, Maya. This nonsense is really starting to get to me.

Franziska: It's getting to all of us, Mr. Phoenix Wright. *flexes her whip*

Edgeworth: You know, it would've been helpful to put that at the beginning of the story instead of making us sit through the meaningless flashback. Just a thought.

Phoenix: Right, because it would've made so much more sense if it was in order.

Edgeworth: Nnnnngh.

Phoenix: Three prosecutors at once? Ouch.

Franziska: Evilled is not a word! And even if it was, that sentence would still be redundant! *Screen-whip, ZAP* OW! *swears in German*

Edgeworth: I guess the "neglected stupidity" comes from you bringing someone back to life just to kill them.

Phoenix: I think you're right on that.

Phoenix: ...

Edgeworth: ...

Maya: I got nothing.

Phoenix: WHY IS EVERYONE SHOUTING?

Maya: I DON'T KNOW!

Franziska: THIS MAKES NO SENSE! *Screen-whip, ZAP* OW!

Phoenix: Hey, Fic-Me. Pot called, kettle says you're black.

Edgeworth: Your Honor, what exactly are you trying to say here? I really wish to know.

Franziska: ...

Maya: Uh-oh.

Franziska: ...

Phoenix: Hit the deck! *does so*

Franziska: HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY PERFECT SPEECH, YOU FOOLISH EXCUSE FOR A STAND-IN! *CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK BZZZZZT*

*A slight power outage rocks the Sporking Theater. Franziska emerges in a stupor, her clothes are burned and her hair is poofy and charged with electricity*

Maya: Oh my gosh! Ms. von Karma! *to the speakers* Man down! Man down! Is there a doctor in the house?!

???: Nope, but there's the next best thing!

*Kay appears out of nowhere with a defibrillator*

Edgeworth: Kay, how is more electricity going to help?

Kay: Makes more sense than whatever you're watching.

Edgeworth: Nnngh.

Kay: Okay, and CLEAR!

*Zaps Franziska, who awakens*

Franziska: What in the-?

Kay: No need to thank me! Just doing my duty as the Great Thief Yatagarasu! *disappears*

Maya: I didn't know the Great Thief Yatagarasu got medical training.

Edgeworth: It's best not to question it, Ms. Fey.

Phoenix: Wait, am I thinking this or saying it aloud? Either way, it makes no sense.

Maya: Yeah, since when is "candy belt" an insult? Those things are tasty!

Phoenix: There's no such thing, Maya.

Maya: Says you!

Edgeworth: Tell me, is Wright also naked, yet clothed?

Franziska: *nervously flexes her whip, trying to resist all temptation to go into a whipping frenzy*

Edgeworth: I, can't even begin to guess what the author was trying to say here.

Phoenix: I know Moe the Clown, but I can't say I've heard of Moe the Clone.

Edgeworth: Also, are these witnesses all going to testify at once? Because we usually have them go one at a time.

Maya: Wait a Minnie Mouse? That's a lame joke.

Edgeworth: Also, these redundancies are redundant. *CRACK* Nggggggggouh!

Franziska: Stick to being a prosecutor, Miles Edgeworth. You are not a good comedian.

Maya: Neither is this author.

Edgeworth: So, they didn't actually see the crime, but they can envision it through their imagination, and thus they are credible. And I thought using hypnosis in court was flimsy.

Phoenix: We haven't had any cases like that, have we?

Edgeworth: Not to my knowledge, no. But hypnotic suggestion has been used in the courtroom before to strengthen eyewitness testimony. It has been known to be untrustworthy, though.

Phoenix: Hey, that's interesting to know.

Maya: And knowing is half the battle! G.I. JOE! *salutes*

Edgeworth: *exasperated groan*

Maya: What?

Phoenix: No, this is a bad fanfic. An Aesop's Fable makes sense.

Edgeworth: Or, you know, we could've just issued a subpoena.

Phoenix: No, Edgeworth. A subpoena would've made sense. You had to illegally break them out and give them doggie treats.

Franziska: Not even my papa would resort to such measures.

Edgeworth: Wright, that's a mixed metaphor that makes no sense. The phrase you're looking for is teacher's pet.

Phoenix: I know that, Edgeworth. It's Fic-Me that has trouble grasping the concept.

Franziska: ...

Edgeworth: *placing a hand on her shoulder* Franziska, calm down. It's just a bad fanfiction.

Franziska: I am calm, Miles Edgeworth. *flexes her whip taut*

Phoenix: Poor Ms. von Karma. She looks like she's ready to crack.

Phoenix: Um, what was the point of that? Was that just to make fun of Richard Wellington's breakdown animation?

Speakers: The Management would like to remind Mr. Phoenix Wright that breaking the Fourth Wall is strictly prohibited.

Edgeworth: *facepalm* I'm sorry, but the Judge is not this stupid. He just isn't.

Franziska: I remember Mr. Lawrence Curls being quite grating, but I do not remember pressing charges against him for disturbing the peace.

Maya: I have a feeling that this author doesn't like us.

All: ...

Phoenix: Yeah, I think this parody of Moe is less funny than Moe himself.

Maya: Agreed.

Phoenix: You say that as if you wanted that part to be completely realistic. It's called "suspension of disbelief", author. Look it up.

Edgeworth: And of all of the unrealistic phenomena that has happened to us, why does he/she latch onto this one?

Phoenix: Once again, what was the point of that?

Edgeworth: We're just as clueless as you are, Your Honor.

Phoenix: If he tears his own face off and kills himself, I'm walking out.

Maya: I thought we weren't allowed to leave, Nick.

Phoenix: Oh, I'll find a way.

Edgeworth: Well, at least he didn't tear his own face off.

Maya: Yeah. Instead, he died and turned into coins. What is this, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World?

Franziska: Is anyone else noticing the not-so-subtle hints the author keeps inserting into the story?

Phoenix: Yeah, now that you mention it. And honestly, I don't really know why. It's not like the author said, "Try to figure out what's going on before the story ends!" at any point.

Edgeworth: And also, the hints lose all their meaning when the author keeps pointing them out. Even if he/she didn't, they are very forced. We know it has something to do with mice.

Maya: Maybe the author thinks we're stupid.

Phoenix: Hey, be nice.

Maya: Oh, don't tell me you weren't thinking the same thing, Nick.

Phoenix: No, I think that the author hates his/her audience and takes joy in insulting their intelligence. There's a difference.

Edgeworth: I'm willing to entertain both theories at this point.

Edgeworth: Okay, so let me get this straight. We called three witnesses to the stand who had nothing to do with the case, and they all killed themselves in ludicrous ways. Th-that right there just cost me half of my Truth Bar.

Maya: Hang in there, Mr. Edgeworth! We're in the homestretch!

Franziska: ...

Edgeworth: Franziska...

Franziska: If that foolish impostor taints my character any more, Miles Edgeworth, I want you to hold me back.

Edgeworth: I shall, against my better judgement.

Franziska: *swears in German and raises her whip*

Edgeworth: Franziska, no! *tries to hold her back, but ends up getting shocked along with her* Nnnnnnngouh!

Maya: Oof! That's gotta hurt.

Edgeworth: *recovering* The Judge is neither stupid nor corrupt. To assume that he's both is idiocy.

Maya: Wow, no wonder you didn't want me around, Nick! It turns out you were an evil god all along!

Phoenix: *groans*

Phoenix: Yeah, Ms. von Karma! You try becoming a deity randomly and using your power to change the world into something it already is! *CRACK* OW!

Franziska: It seems that I can still whip you with impunity, Mr. Phoenix Wright.

Phoenix: I'll be good.

Phoenix: Supernatural evidence, Ms. von Karma? Really?

Franziska: Nothing else in this foolish tale makes any sense, why should this?

Phoenix: Touché.

Phoenix: If it's too late, why am I begging for another chance?

Maya: Do you really expect an answer at this point?

Phoenix: Not really, no.

Maya: Cool! Now we're inside Nick's brain!

Edgeworth: For some inexplicable reason.

Phoenix: Wait, Mia? What's she doing here? I thought I brought her back to life just to kill her because I'm an evil god.

Phoenix: Exactly my point, Fic-Me.

Phoenix: So, this whole thing was a dead mouse dreaming it was me because it got bored in heaven. Also, the author apparently hates my name.

Maya: *M. Night Shyamalan impression* What a twist!

Edgeworth: Or it would've been if the author didn't beat us over the head with the clues.

Franziska: Somehow, this makes more sense than everything that has led up to this point.

All: YAY!

All: NOOOO!

Maya: And then Mia said, "No, Nick. You are the aliens!" And then Nick was a zombie.

*the lights come on*

Phoenix: Hallelujah. That was powerfully stupid.

Edgeworth: Indeed. I don't think we even touched on half of the nonsense that was permeated in this drivel.

Franziska: *trying to move, but aches all over* I am -ouch- never coming -ooh- to this theater again! -ahh-

Edgeworth: Oh dear. Here, Franziska, let me help you. *helps Franziska up*

Phoenix: We really need to talk to the Management about this.

Speakers: If you wish to improve your sporking experience, please feel free to use the suggestion box located in the lobby. Due to the vast amount of suggestions we get, however, we cannot use them all.

Maya: So, you won't use a suggestion like "show us a good fic next time" or anything like that.

Speakers: Exactly.

Maya: Phooey.

Edgeworth: It was worth a try. Come along, Franziska. Let's get you some proper medical treatment.

Maya: Nick, let's go get some burgers.

Phoenix: Maya, we had burgers last time!

Maya: Okay, miso ramen then!

Phoenix: *sighs* Okay, fine.

Maya: Yay!

*And so, our heroes survive yet another horrible piece of literature*

---

Last edited by Little_Thief on Fri Jul 27, 2012 2:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.

^ My reaction to that fic as I read your sporking.

I mean, wow, WAY too much non-sensical stuff in that. I commend you for reading it all the way through, making sense of it, and writing up this entertaining sporking!

Hehehe that one was great

I think my favourite part was the whole Phoenix declaring everyone innocent despite the consequences of it and becoming an evil god for some reason.

Ah sporking theatre, why are you so brilliant.

---

I really enjoyed the latest spork. Especially the introduction.

Alright, here's another one.

Today's Episode: Leapin' Logic

Rating:

Starts off okay, but quickly goes downhill after the first investigation. Props for trying to incorporate the game transitions, and there is some thought put into the mystery itself. However, there are too many grammar mistakes and plot contrivances to count, and important plot elements just come out of nowhere. Also, because it's a shipping story, Franziska von Karma is grossly out of character, although everyone else seems to be at least reasonable (with the exception of Pearl, but semantics could be argued). Other than that, it's just your typical mystery that has a lot of potential, but the execution is terrible.

Warning: Ace Attorney Investigations 2 spoilers abound. Proceed with caution.

Let's meet the sporkers!

Phoenix Wright Here we go again...

Maya Fey Let's hope you don't become an evil god this time, Nick.

Miles Edgeworth I refuse to bend to the will of the public and grumble about how I don't want to be here.

And Kay Faraday Hey, breaking the Fourth Wall is my job!

Kay! What are you doing here?!

Kay: Well, actually Ms. von Karma was scheduled to show up, but she isn't feeling well. So, she asked me to substitute.

Phoenix: Gee, Ms. von Karma not feeling well. I wonder why that is...

Edgeworth: Don't go there, Wright.

*Anyway, we open as we usually do in the Sporking Theater. Maya is munching happily on popcorn while Kay and Edgeworth are discussing something*

Edgeworth: I still can't believe you agreed to this, Kay. Usually, you try to evade the Management.

Kay: Meh, I decided to give them a free pass just for today. But be forewarned. If it gets too bad, I'm outta here.

Edgeworth: How comforting.

Phoenix: Heh. Some assistant you have, Edgeworth. At least I know Maya wouldn't ditch me that easily.

Edgeworth: A certain Pearl Fey would agree with you, Wright.

Maya: Ow, low blow.

Phoenix: Uh, ha ha... Let's just get this started.

*the fic begins*

Phoenix: Once upon a Turnabout, Phoenix Wright was sane. Then he saw what crazy stories his fans came up with.

Maya: Oh, you're exaggerating, Nick. They're not all that bad. *munches on her popcorn*

Edgeworth: I have to say, the title choice is quite creative, albeit a bit generic.

Kay: Sounds like a job for the Great Thief Yatagarasu!

Maya: Wait, are you even a thief anymore?

Speakers: The Management would like to remind Ms. Maya Fey that breaking the Fourth Wall, especially in regards to games not released internationally, is strictly prohibited.

Kay: Hey, she can say whatever she wants. It's not like this theater is exactly bound by the rules of time and space itself. So nyah! *blows raspberry*

Maya: *blows raspberry*

Phoenix: *facepalm* Will you two please try and act your age?

Edgeworth: Don't sell yourself short, author. The summery itself isn't bad. Merely the lack of punctuation and capitalization.

Edgeworth: *turns bright crimson* I, am very glad that Franziska called in sick. She wouldn't let me live after this.

Maya: Meh, I've seen worse pairings. At least the author isn't saying you're gay.

Edgeworth: *dejected* Thank you, Ms. Fey. I feel so much better.

Maya: You're welcome! *munches on her popcorn*

Phoenix: *trying hard not to smile*

Edgeworth: Wipe that grin off your face, Wright. We haven't even started the fanfiction yet.

Kay: Case in point. Something tells me we're in for the long haul.

Edgeworth: Starting a story with an onomatopoeia could prove as a decent way to set the mood. Not so in this case.

Phoenix: I see what you mean. It looks more like someone is making frog noises randomly.

Maya: *singing* Kero kero kero~!

Phoenix: *stares blankly at Maya*

Maya: What? I can't play too?

Kay: Obscure reference for the win!

Edgeworth: I can think of a multitude of polite ways to introduce oneself to a stranger. This isn't one of them.

Kay: You need to get out more, Mr. Edgeworth. I think the guy is just hitting on her.

Kay: Called it!

Edgeworth: I'm impressed, Kay. I made the same deduction just as you said I needed to get out more.

Kay: *deadpan stare* Sure you did, Mr. Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: *ahem* Let's, just move on.

Phoenix: I don't know, fella. If a random girl walked up to you and started hitting on you, wouldn't you be irritated? I know I would.

Edgeworth: Why why why why why do so many people confuse your with you're? It's so frustrating.

Kay: Maybe they realized that they missed the e in none and decided to put it in somewhere else.

Edgeworth: Th-that makes no sense.

Maya: It kinda does when you think about it. But then what about the apostrophe?

Kay: Well, that's obvious. "Youre" isn't a word, so they made it one so that there would be no spelling errors.

Maya: Huh. That's quite fascinating.

Edgeworth: *head in his hands* I'm surrounded by idiots.

Phoenix: I dunno, Edgeworth. They sounded pretty smart to me.

Edgeworth: Don't you start, Wright. Don't you dare start.

Everyone: *jaws drop*

Phoenix: Just to make sure, we're all following the same conversation here, right? Where did that come from?

Maya: You're asking me?

Edgeworth: My best guess is that the fellow knows something about the lady's love life. Perhaps it is something that she doesn't want anyone else to know. Though bringing it up out of the blue is very off-putting, since we know next to nothing about these characters.

Kay: Oh no! They've been spotted! Quick, hide under a cardboard box!

Edgeworth: *groans*

Maya: You're such a fuddy duddy, Mr. Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: I'm sorry, that statement makes no grammatical sense. I mean, I understand what he's saying. It's obvious he's pressing her on her affair, whatever it may be. But surely, there was a better way to express that.

Maya: Of course there was. Even I know that. And don't call me Butt-Shirley.

Kay: Old joke, new twist! Nice one! *high fives Maya*

Phoenix: Glad to see you two are having fun.

Maya: Huh. Looks like your theory might be wrong, Ms. Faraday. The author didn't replace the missing e this time.

Kay: Indeed. Very mysterious. *takes out a bubble pipe from her satchel and starts blowing bubbles*

Edgeworth: I have a distinct feeling that you two are mocking me.

Phoenix: Taking her where? If you don't know or don't want us to find out, just say they're taking her away.

Edgeworth: And you'd do that why? That necklace now has your fingerprints, assuming you're not wearing gloves. You just gave the police a piece of evidence on a silver platter.

Kay: Not only that, but the frog is a witness!

Edgeworth: Kay, that's absurd.

Phoenix: Need I remind you of the time I cross-examined a parrot to save you from the death penalty, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: Nnngh.

Edgeworth: It's bad enough that you misspelled the word. It's even worse when you spelled it correctly the first time.

Phoenix: And keep in mind, this is just the prologue. We still have four more chapters of story to get through.

Edgeworth: I can't wait.

*continued in the next post*

---

Last edited by Little_Thief on Wed Nov 28, 2012 6:24 pm, edited 7 times in total.

Oh, you guys saved my thread from over at the backup Forums! I am intriguied!!

Well, looks like I will have some sporkings to read and comment on soon~! I only skimmed over you guys' work so far, but it looks neat!!
If you don't mind, I might start producing some of these again as well, when I have time. I have something in mind... After all, there are far too many bad Apollo Justice Fanfics and far too few of them have been sporked yet...

---

Kay: And away we go!

Edgeworth: Kudos for making the story feel more like a case from the games. But I would work on your spelling and capitalization.

Phoenix: Hey, you're right. The prologue did kinda feel like one of the intros in our cases. At least we can tell this author knows the material.

Speakers: The Management would like to remind Mr. Phoenix Wright and Mr. Miles Edgeworth that breaking the Fourth Wall is strictly prohibited.

Maya: Oh, shut up! *throws empty popcorn bag at the speakers*

Maya and Kay: Hi, Miles Edgeworth! *wave at the screen*

Edgeworth: Oh dear...

Edgeworth: If you're going to have me narrating, the least you could do is run a spell check! Also, "beat me a couple of times"? What adult talks like that?

Phoenix: Well, look on the bright side, Edgeworth. At least you're not really out of character.

Kay: I got a pack of Swiss Cake Rolls saying that he is by the end of this.

Maya: I see your Swiss Cake Rolls and raise you two hamburgers.

Edgeworth: Please, the story is bad enough. I don't need a migraine from you two as well.

Maya: You were unemployed, Mr. Edgeworth?! When did that happen?

Edgeworth: It is a long story. A story that I hope will be told to a wider audience.

Speaker: The Management would like to remind Mr. Miles Edgeworth that...

Kay and Maya: WE GET IT!

Edgeworth: Managed, not manage. Ugh, my head.

Maya: Can we skip ahead? This recap is putting me to sleep.

Maya: Wait, who and who?

Phoenix: *smug grin* You were saying, Maya?

Edgeworth: Actually, I read ahead, and apparently these are the English names that the author chose to assign to Hakari Mikagami and Yumihiko Ichiyanagi, my antagonists from Ace Attorney Investigations 2.

Kay: Boy, he/she is gonna be really embarrassed if those aren't the localized names if and when the game is released outside of Japan.

Speakers: The Management would like to remind...

Kay: Excuse me for a minute. *disappears*

Phoenix: Part of me wants to ask where she's going, but another part of me doesn't want to know.

Maya: Ditto.

Edgeworth: Such awkward wording. Did the author not proofread this before posting it?

Phoenix: I'm gonna say no, but really, that could be said for a lot of the stories we see here.

Maya: That's, a bit harsh, Mr. Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: I'd comment, but I figure I should try and make an effort not to ruin it for those who don't want spoilers.

Speakers: ...

Maya: Huh?

Kay: I'm back! *comes back holding a pair of wire cutters* The Management won't be bugging us anymore.

Edgeworth: I, see. *ahem* Furthermore, I would not describe Klavier Gavin as a "hothead". He's egotistical and vain, to be sure. But he normally has quite a calm demeanor.

Maya: *singing in a tired voice* Exposition, exposition... *falls asleep*

Phoenix: Oh, no you don't! *shakes Maya awake*

Maya: C'mon, Nick! I'm bored! None of this is stuff we don't know already!

Edgeworth: I'm personally curious as to the point of this recap. It's safe to assume that anyone reading this has already played the games. This is unnecessary.

Maya: See?! See?!

Phoenix: *groans* Just stick with us, Maya. You're not gonna get away with letting us suffer alone.

Phoenix: Wait, who's Lang Franziska? Some sort of long-lost twin?

Edgeworth: Kay, I don't remember giving you permission to sort through my files.

Maya: Relax, Mr. Edgeworth. I do the same to Nick all the time.

Phoenix: That doesn't make it right, Maya.

Maya: *pouts* You're no fun, Nick.

Kay: Oh, come on, Mr. Edgeworth. Ever heard of the term "whistle while you work"?

Edgeworth: I know that one. I never heard of "sing while going through someone's files without their permission".

Kay: No comment.

Kay: Okay, I don't know why I had to lie there. Okay, you already knew what I was doing, Mr. Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: Please don't stoop to the author's level, Kay.

Kay: Okay!

Edgeworth: Nnnngh...

Edgeworth: Um, I'm not. The fact that I rolled my eyes should clearly show that this music is not the type I typically enjoy.

Edgeworth: Um, there's no reason for me to say that. Did the author not follow the flow of the conversation they themselves wrote?

Phoenix: I'm starting to detect a pattern here.

Edgeworth: It was just fine until you burst in and started rummaging through my things.

Kay: Hey, that's mean!

Phoenix: Huh, where have I heard that before? *looks at Maya*

Maya: What?

Edgeworth: At least it was peaceful until you...

Kay: Just drop it, Mr. Edgeworth! Sheesh, you never let things go.

Kay: I, don't remember hating him that much.

Edgeworth: Also, when did Yumihiko start playing a musical instrument? I doubt rock bands need a conductor.

Maya: And yet, I've seen some instances where people ship you with that Yumihiko guy.

Kay: All the more reason my intense hatred of him doesn't make much sense.

Edgeworth: This is true. I'd comment further, but like I said, I feel it'd be wise to keep spoilers to a minimum.

Kay: To be fair, that woman is a bit more complicated than that.

Kay: Um, sure. Or that.

Edgeworth: Kay, that question is misleading. I haven't forgiven everyone who has accused me of murder.

Phoenix: ...

Maya: No comment.

Edgeworth: It's a tad more complicated than that, but otherwise, I agree.

Edgeworth: I think Franziska knows to knock before entering. Also, that question came out of the blue. It doesn't even make sense if she was eavesdropping.

Maya: Ooh, Mr. Edgeworth. Looks like someone's worried about you~.

Edgeworth: *turns bright red* E-enough, Ms. Fey. Th-that's a bit of a stretch.

Phoenix: If she would be the first to know, why did she even bother asking?

Kay: Gee, Mr. Edgeworth. Just throw me under the bus, why don't you?

Maya: Also, why would Ms. von Karma care about that?

Edgeworth: I doubt she would.

Kay: ...

Maya: Wow. And I just mentioned how people pair you with that Yumihiko guy. I must be psychic!

Phoenix: If you're psychic, predict how this story turns out so that we can get out of here.

Maya: Buy me a burger first.

Phoenix: I might've known.

Edgeworth: I'd, actually expect that more from you than from Franziska, Kay.

Maya: Yeah, she's acting kinda weird. But keep in mind, this is a shipping story we're talking about. When love's added into the equation, lots of character traits go out the window.

Edgeworth: Please don't remind me of that, Ms. Fey.

Kay: What, I'm not allowed to sing?

Edgeworth: That was, sudden.

Maya: Again, shipping story.

Phoenix: But why invite Ms. Faraday as well?

Kay: Who cares? Free food!

Edgeworth: *groans*

Phoenix: Yes, I'm begging you, no Butz.

Larry: Aw, that's mean, Nick~!

Edgeworth: Please, Larry. This is enough of a headache without your input. *Larry leaves, dejected*

Phoenix: Maya, next time I try to make a joke like that, slap me.

Maya: You got it, Nick.

Edgeworth: At least, it's somewhat like her. Franziska does have a tendency to have people not question her, but not about something like this.

Maya: Once again, shipping story.

Phoenix: You say that as if all shipping stories are like that.

Maya: Well, not all. Some of them are more subtle than this.

Kay: Ba-zing!

Kay: You mean we don't even get to see the dinner?

Edgeworth: Show, don't tell. It's a simple literary technique that all authors should be able to grasp. The fact that this author doesn't understand that just astounds me.

*the lights come up*

Phoenix: Over already? But we still have three more chapters.

Maya: Yeah, and we haven't even gotten to the mystery yet.

FBI Agent: Sorry, folks. But someone decided to clip the wire that allowed Management to communicate with you all, so we're postponing the rest of the sporking until it's fixed.

Kay: *whistles innocently*

Edgeworth: Well, at least we're free to go for now. Though I wonder how much worse this can get.

Phoenix: I'm just glad Ms. von Karma wasn't here.

Maya: *pouts* Yeah, lucky her.

*And so, our heroes leave. What is the mystery that was in the introduction? Will Franziska become more OOC, thus giving this a higher rating? And will the Management ever solve the pesky problem that is Kay Faraday? Find out next time on Sporking Theater!*

---

Last edited by Little_Thief on Fri Oct 12, 2012 3:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

AAI2 spoilers? Aww...

Guess I'll try to remember this one later if AAI2 gets localized or when the translation project finishes.

Alright, let's continue!

Today's Episode: Leapin' Logic Part II

*We continue our story in the Sporking Theater (as we normally do)*

FBI Agent: Now, no monkey business, missy. You get me?

Kay: How is it my fault that the Management has to be so annoying every time we break the Fourth Wall?

Edgeworth: Just agree to it, Kay. I don't need another headache.

Phoenix: You shouldn't have come in, then.

Edgeworth: *groans* As if I had a choice.

Maya: Don't forget, Kay! If Mr. Edgeworth remains in character for the rest of this, you owe me two burgers.

Kay: And if he doesn't you owe me a packet of Swiss Cake Rolls.

Maya: You're on. *checks her pockets, seeing that she doesn't have much money* Oh. Hey, Nick...

Phoenix: Forget it, Maya.

Edgeworth: As I've said many times before, let's just get this over with.

Maya: Electric Boogaloo!

Phoenix: Why am I not surprised?

Edgeworth: Again, credit where credit is due. The author certainly knows the material. Punctuation and capitalization, though, is another matter.

Edgeworth: Kay, do you make a habit of dropping in without warning?

Kay: I think you answered your own question, Mr. Edgeworth.

Phoenix: Now you know what it's like having Maya as an assistant.

Maya: *puffs cheeks angrily* Nick~!

Phoenix: To your credit, you don't sing songs that could get on my client's nerves.

Kay: What, I'm not allowed to sing?

Edgeworth: I'm very sure Agent Lang knows to knock before entering, unless he has some urgent business.

Phoenix: Quick, can you think of any urgent business he might have right now?

Edgeworth: If it's about the kidnapping case, then not really.

Maya: Maybe he realized his cookies are burning!

Edgeworth: Please, Ms. Fey. My Truth Bar has enough difficulty keeping up with this nonsense. I don't need you adding to it.

Kay: Besides, I don't think Mr. Edgeworth has an oven in his office. I checked.

Maya: *sulks* Aw. But I wanted cookies.

Phoenix: That's your only reason for that theory?!

Kay: Hey, who says I wasn't cheery yesterday? I was just fine until Yumihiko was brought up.

Edgeworth: The grammar in that sentence leaves much to be desired.

Edgeworth: Doubtful. If we're going by the American school system, the high school semester doesn't end until June.

Kay: But my mom's family doesn't live in America. Remember, it was very hard for me to get back to LA after my father died.

Edgeworth: *Truth Bar damage* Nggh. Touché.

Phoenix: Hey, Ms. von Karma. Nice of you to show up out of nowhere.

Kay: *singing* You spin me right round, baby, right round!

Edgeworth: My question is what was the point of that exchange?

Maya: It's just in case anyone forgot this was a shipping story.

Kay: Odd that I'm the voice of reason in this.

Edgeworth: Agreed. Also, the author seems to be fond of omitting words at random.

Edgeworth: We don't know that. Someone could've been smuggled in from another country.

Phoenix: Kinda like looking at an older you, isn't it, Edgeworth? You know, with you jumping to con...

Edgeworth: *glares at Phoenix* Don't you dare finish that sentence, Wright.

Phoenix: *gulp*

Maya: Wait, huh? You don't know how they're connected, but you know they're connected. That, ow my head.

Edgeworth: Now you know what I have to go through. Oh, and Franziska? I was under the impression that you were with Agent Lang. Did he not brief you on the way over here?

Phoenix: Then, tell us that, whatever it is. That isn't really an admission that you know nothing.

Edgeworth: The grammar, meantime, seems to be getting worse and worse.

Phoenix: So, all of Interpol got the month off. Stellar police work there, Agent Lang.

Edgeworth: No law enforcement organization works that way. Even if we are to accept that they all mysteriously have the month off, don't they have substitutes to fill in?

Kay: What? I wasn't going to say anything. And what's so funny about pumpkin patches, anyway?

Edgeworth: Well, now we have a proper basis for a case one and a half chapters in. Makes one wonder what exactly the first chapter was for.

Maya: *singing* Exposition, exposition...

Phoenix: That answer your question, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: No comment.

Phoenix: What's so hard about have multiple detectives spread out throughout town?

Maya: No, remember Nick? Interpol has the month off.

Edgeworth: Well, if this is an international emergency, which hasn't been established yet, then can't Agent Lang cut their vacation short? He has the authority.

Phoenix: Or Ms. von Karma can pull some contacts out of thin air. That works, too.

Edgeworth: It's one contrivance after another. I'm not sure I can take much more.

*continued in the next post*

---

Last edited by Little_Thief on Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Phoenix: And so, we continue onward.

Phoenix: ...

Maya: Nick?

Phoenix: Did I...? Did I read that right? Is Franziska von Karma actually suggestion that I help?

Edgeworth: You are truly lucky that Franziska called in sick, Wright. I'll bet she is, too.

Edgeworth: To my knowledge, Agent Lang only had a problem with prosecutors.

Maya: No, see. That's Agent Land, and he hates all lawyers.

Edgeworth: Are we really going to do this again?

Phoenix: *mimes opening a door* Hey, Edgeworth. Sorry I can't help you right now. I'm no longer a defense attorney, see, and...

Speakers: The Management would like to remind Mr. Phoenix Wright that...

Kay: I'll be right back. *disappears*

Edgeworth: Kay, they'll be expecting tha...

Speakers: Hey, who let you in here?! What do you think you're...

*speakers cut off*

Phoenix: I'm, not gonna ask.

Maya: Seconded.

Edgeworth: Cute nod to the cameo in AAI Case 3, I must say.

Speakers: ...

Kay: *reappears* I smoothed it over with the Management. They won't bug us anymore. At least, not for this sporking.

Maya: What did you do?

Kay: Oh, I bribed them with tea and crumpets. Apparently, they love that.

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: Okay then. Let's, move on.

Maya: Huh? Do I really look like a samurai?

Kay: Uh, no. Sorry.

Maya: Phooey.

Phoenix: What are you even doing here, Maya? I thought you weren't with me at State v. Enigmar.

Maya: Meh, I don't care. I just hope I don't die this time.

Maya: I wish. I don't have much free time now that I'm Master of Kurain and all.

Kay: My question is what conventions? Because I prefer Jammin' Ninja conventions to Steel Samurai ones.

Maya: Fool. You don't know what you're missing.

Edgeworth: ...

Phoenix: Okay, one, what's Iris doing out of jail? Two, the aka wasn't really necessary, was it? Three, why am I letting Edgeworth and his buddies in? Four, why isn't Pearls beating me to a pulp?

Edgeworth: Couldn't have said it better myself, Wright. Um, except for that last part.

Phoenix: They're just sitting there reading books. For no reason.

Maya: You need a reason to read a book?

Phoenix: You know what I mean.

Phoenix: You just noticed that, Iris?

Edgeworth: Actually, she did. She acknowledged my presence when I first entered. Once again, the author is not following their own writing.

Phoenix: And, she's surprisingly okay with that, it seems.

Maya: Okay, who are you and what have you done with Pearly?!

Kay: Oh dear. If we have to ask that question, this is all going to go downhill from here.

Maya: What? What'd I do?

Phoenix: I, don't know. Is it a reference to when De Killer kidnapped you or something? If so, why would you bring that up, and why would I be offended about it?

Maya: I don't know! You're the one yelling at me!

Phoenix: Um, see. I kinda have my own problems at the moment trying to reclaim my badge and stuff.

Phoenix: Um, sure. Or that.

Edgeworth: I am so glad Franziska isn't here to see this.

Maya: Once again, shipping story.

Phoenix: Maya, you don't know kung fu.

Maya: I clearly meant channelling someone who does, Nick.

Edgeworth: Then say that. Don't make us guess.

Phoenix: Wow, that really isn't Pearls. I thought she'd insist that I go with you, Maya.

Maya: I know, right?

Phoenix: Wait, is it implying that Iris and I are already married? Is that why Pearls has given up on forcing me and Maya to be together?

Maya: Would've been helpful to establish that, author!

Kay: Um, you don't sound very professional, Agent Lang.

Edgeworth: Nothing about this author is professional, Kay. I think we've established that.

Phoenix: So, Agent Lang had random affidavits written up just on the off chance that he would have to hire a disbarred defense attorney and his motley crew to help him after he stupidly gave his men the month off. That, is very contrived.

Maya: Chin up, Nick. It's almost over.

*continued in the next post*

---

Last edited by Little_Thief on Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Phoenix: Not much longer now. Let's try to hang in there.

Maya: Who would make a museum dedicated to sewing? That's so boring!

Edgeworth: Once again, I have to acknowledge the author's forethought. It's nice that they established that this chapter is from Franziska's point of view. Though why is beyond my understanding.

Phoenix: What's wrong with a sewing museum?

Maya: Isn't it obvious? They'll be bored to death!

Edgeworth: But this is a kidnapping case.

Maya: My point still stands.

Phoenix: You mean you always mumble to yourself? Good to know, Ms. von Karma.

Kay: Yeah, I think the author gave up on making any grammatical sense at this point.

Edgeworth: Nngh, indeed. I'm straining just trying to piece together what the author is trying to say.

Phoenix: Wow, people sure like to jump from one topic to another a lot. I'm having difficulty just keeping up.

Maya: It's the Musical Chairs of conversations!

Edgeworth: And, how exactly do you know that, Ms. Hilton?

Phoenix: Well, you guys do make the headlines every once in a while.

Edgeworth: True. But still, wouldn't she be asking what we're doing here? She seems awfully calm about this.

Kay: She's the kidnapper. I'm calling it right now.

Edgeworth: If she was a security guard, it's safe to assume that she worked on the premises.

Kay: Not to mention you didn't tell her that you were investigating the kidnapping, and yet she knows to talk about it. She has "suspicious" written all over her.

Edgeworth: I did as well. I noticed that mentioning that she's French hardly helps our investigation.

Phoenix: Well, at least you have a new lead.

Edgeworth: Um, no. She actually wasn't of much help at all. There are several more questions that I would've asked her.

Kay: Like where the question mark in your question to Ms. von Karma went?

Edgeworth: Nnngh.

Edgeworth: Not entirely odd, if this was the place of kidnapping. It's very likely that articles of clothing would come loose in the struggle.

Phoenix: And, we still don't know what makes this an international incident.

Edgeworth: Once again. Show, don't tell. Show the investigation wrapping up, don't just say it wrapped up.

Phoenix: Working fever? What does that have to do with my relationship with Iris?

Edgeworth: I think we can successfully say that this train of thought has been derailed, among others that the author felt the need to bring up out of nowhere.

Phoenix: If I knew what you were talking about, I'd have the feeling that you were insulting me and Iris, Ms. von Karma.

Maya: Once again, shipping story. When love is on the brain, everything else goes out the window.

Edgeworth: Again, cute.

Kay: Wait, why aren't you explaining what crime you're investigating?

Edgeworth: I'm sure that'll be a moot point, since the guard will know what we're talking about regardless.

Edgeworth: Like I said.

Edgeworth: And once again, we're having two separate conversations. Is it over yet?

Maya: Now it is. I knew they were going to end on shipping prose.

*the lights come on*

Phoenix: Well, that's if for now, I suppose.

Speakers: The Management wishes to announce that there are still three more chapters, recently added. Be sure to report back.

Kay: What, more?! That's it, I'm done. *disappears*

Maya: Hey! What about our bet?

Phoenix: Forget it, Maya. I'll get you burgers on the way back.

Edgeworth: This is not going to end well.

*And so, our heroes survive another round. Will Kay return? How is the kidnapping case an international incident? And why does the Management like tea and crumpets? Find out next time on Sporking Theater!*

---

Last edited by Little_Thief on Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It's all downhill from here, folks. I might have to change the original rating.

Today's Episode: Leapin' Logic Part III

*We pick up where we left off, back in the Sporking Theater*

Phoenix: Any word from Kay?

Edgeworth: Sadly, no. It seems she's determined to skip out on us this time.

Phoenix: Figures.

Maya: But what about our bet?

Phoenix: *shrugs* I guess you'll have to collect the next time she shows up at a sporking.

Maya: *sighs* I suppose so.

Edgeworth: I'm sure we can manage without her. Now, let's get on with it.

Phoenix: We might actually have a record for the longest story we sporked here, at least in terms of chapters.

Edgeworth: That's not necessarily a good thing.

Maya: Wait, a flashback? What's the point of this?

Edgeworth: I'm afraid I'm as lost as you, Ms. Fey. Especially considering that the author made no indication of this in the last chapter.

Phoenix: Wait, who's talking? Are we still seeing this from Ms. von Karma's perspective?

Edgeworth: I-I don't know. The text seems to indicate a third person narrator, which makes no sense considering the format the author has been using thus far.

Phoenix: Now that's just downright sloppy.

Phoenix: So his other daughter's name is Patricia?

Edgeworth: If that were the case, it would be odd, considering Patricia is not a typical German name.

Maya: Wait, don't you know the name of his other daughter, Edgeworth? I mean, you grew up with him.

Edgeworth: Well, Franziska would know more about her than I.

Phoenix: Hold it! Why should that be? Maya's right, you should know the name of Manfred von Karma's older daughter.

Edgeworth: Well, um...

???: Banzai!

*Kay drops in from the ceiling*

Edgeworth: Oh, look! Kay's back!

Phoenix and Maya: ... *stare at Edgeworth*

Kay: What? What'd I miss?

Edgeworth: *ahem* N-nothing. Anyway, what made you decide to come back?

Kay: The prospect of free Swiss Cake Rolls from Maya Fey.

Maya: *sneers playfully* Don't be so smug. Mr. Edgeworth has been very much in character so far.

Phoenix: *stares at Edgeworth*

Edgeworth: *shrugs*

Edgeworth: Jonathan isn't really a typical German name, either. The closest German name would be Johann.

Maya: Johann? That's not a butler name. Butlers are supposed to have names like Alfred or Jives or Lurch.

Phoenix: Lurch?

Maya: *deep voice* You rang?

Kay: Eh, nice try. But I doubt a lot of people would get the reference.

Edgeworth: As a matter of fact, I did.

Kay: Well, you don't count.

Edgeworth: *sighs*

Phoenix: Um, how old is Ms. von Karma in this flashback?

Edgeworth: Well, if I'm meeting her for the first time, I'd say she's about two, maybe three years old.

Phoenix: And at that age Manfred von Karma was training her to be bilingual? I never knew he was such a strict parent.

Edgeworth: Well, German is only spoken in Germany and Austria, and everyone there also speak English. So, it's not that strange once you think about it.

Maya: The more you know.

Phoenix: Wow, ease up, Mr. von Karma. She's just a kid.

Edgeworth: Wright, this is Manfred von Karma we're talking about. He's not exactly easy to write in a more tender setting.

Phoenix: Even so, I have a hard time believing he was this strict.

Edgeworth: No comment.

Edgeworth: And once again, we flow from one topic to the next without much warning.

Kay: I dunno, Maya. Could you picture Mr. Edgeworth acting like that?

Maya: He's a kid in this scene, Kay. He's not completely out of character yet. The bet's still on.

Phoenix: Was there a point to that?

Edgeworth: Doubtful.

Edgeworth: The German school system is not the same as the American one. To assume otherwise shows a lot of cultural ignorance.

Kay: Cut them some slack, Mr. Edgeworth. This is a fanfic, not a senior thesis.

Edgeworth: I should say it isn't.

Edgeworth: It's one thing to confuse your and you're. It's quite another to confuse to and too.

Maya: That makes four!

Edgeworth: *growls*

Maya: Sorry, couldn't resist.

Phoenix: Bet you they wouldn't try that a second time.

Edgeworth: That's only because you have difficulty picturing her without her whip.

Maya: You mean she didn't have a whip when she was little?

Edgeworth: No. She did have a riding crop, though. I disremember when she got it exactly.

Edgeworth: I'm supposed to be thirteen years old in this scene, not thirteen months! This grammar is atrocious!

Kay: Anyone else think it's a bit creepy that she's feeling this way about Mr. Edgeworth at such a young age?

Maya: Not me.

Kay: Why not?

Maya: Because shipping story.

Kay: C'mon, even then that's a bit of a stretch.

Maya: I never said it was a good shipping story.

Edgeworth: Poisoned apples? That's the example I choose? An apple can be poisoned without supernatural means.

Phoenix: What example would you choose then, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: Well, spirits, for in...

Maya: *ahem*

Edgeworth: Er, I mean fairies.

Phoenix: *chuckles to himself*

Edgeworth: True love is not a fanciful notion. I doubt even a child of Franziska's age would think it is.

Edgeworth: A simple grammar check. That's all I ask.

Phoenix: I still want to know what the point of that was, if there was a point.

Kay: How much you wanna bet we don't get an answer in the next chapter?

Phoenix: That's not a fair bet. I'm thinking the same thing.

*continued in the next post*

---

Last edited by Little_Thief on Sat Nov 17, 2012 3:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

Maya: Present? Where's my present?!

Edgeworth: I think the author means "present day", indicating that the flashback is over.

Maya: *sulks* Aw, I wanted presents.

Phoenix: Th-there there.

Phoenix: So, Ms. von Karma just tuned you out to daydream about when you first met and a random day at school?

Edgeworth: That is what's implied. I must say, it's very unlike her.

Maya: Again, shipping story.

Edgeworth: Also, we're back to the first person narration, oddly enough.

Maya: Wow! Ms. von Karma has psychic powers!

Edgeworth: The author just forgot to indicate that she used her whip, and you know it.

Maya: You're no fun.

Phoenix: So, now my place is a diner?

Maya: Eat at Wright's!

Maya: What, no shipping fluff in the half hour it takes them to get back?

Phoenix: You're actually complaining about that?

Maya: No, not really. I'm just saying.

Edgeworth: Dear Lord, the author isn't even trying at this point.

Kay: Mr. Edgeworth, we passed that point long ago. Don't tell me you're just noticing it now.

Edgeworth: Nnnngh.

Edgeworth: If that's the same necklace from the prologue, just dust it for fingerprints and we have our kidnapper.

Phoenix: My question is how does that show that she was the first to be kidnapped? I don't think the locket proves that.

Kay: I smell a plot contrivance.

Maya: Ow. My brain is tying itself into knots trying to understand this.

Phoenix: I wonder if the witnesses volunteered the information without us having to ask just like they did with Edgeworth and Ms. von Karma.

Edgeworth: Actually, it would be nice if they showed what happened in these other investigations instead of just talking about it.

Maya: And the witnesses told us this without us having to ask. Wasn't that nice of them?

Kay: More like contrived. Seriously, this whole story reeks of plot contrivances.

Edgeworth: Questions usually end with a question mark. Even an amateur would know that!

Phoenix: So, all we got so far is some information generously donated to us out of nowhere and some clues that just need to be processed in a crime lab in order to find the kidnapper.

Maya: Um, go team?

Phoenix: That's Edgeworth for you. Good job latching onto the pattern like that.

Edgeworth: Well, it might not mean anything. Still, all possibilities must be observed in order to reach the truth.

Kay: Huh. Turns out that lead didn't amount to anything.

Edgeworth: Unless this is misdirection, I have a feeling the author is just wasting our time.

Edgeworth: One thing at a time, my fair doppelgänger. We don't even know who the kidnappers are. And why automatically assume that it's a group and not an individual?

Kay: Maybe he read the prologue.

Phoenix: Iris didn't make a suggestion. She just said she didn't feel like cooking. And for the record, I wouldn't mind eating out as long as Edgeworth was paying.

Edgeworth: For all of us? Wright, how much money do you think I make?

Phoenix: More than me, that's for sure.

Kay: Um, Mr. Edgeworth? We still haven't decided what we're doing for dinner.

Phoenix: Wow, that was nonsensical and pointless. I feel so special.

Phoenix: Really? A bad case of jet lag?

Edgeworth: Strange. He seemed perfectly alright when he first came into the story. And for the record, jet lag should not last that long.

Maya: Very suspicious.

Kay: Nah, I still say that Hilton girl is the kidnapper.

Phoenix: *blushes* Um, I think I would have better manners than that.

Maya: You are so lucky the real Pearly isn't here right now. She'd have a fit if she saw that.

Edgeworth: The word you're looking for is "immature", Franziska. Which also describes how you chose to word things here.

Maya: Okay, I was willing to give Ms. von Karma the benefit of the doubt since this is a shipping story, but even I can't picture her calling a case foolish.

Edgeworth: Especially since it's apparently an international incident.

Phoenix: Even though we're never told how.

Phoenix: I don't remember Edgeworth being that much of a chatterbox.

Kay: Maybe he's talking about the Steel Samurai or something.

Edgeworth: *becomes tense*

Phoenix: ?

Maya: *sardonically* Nice save.

Phoenix: Okay, what's this about?

Edgeworth: Apparently, our nameless antagonists are planing to kidnap Franziska.

Kay: Huh? Why would you think that?

Maya: Shipping story, that's why. There's no other reason Ms. von Karma would play the damsel in distress. It's just not like her.

Edgeworth: Exactly right, Ms. Fey. Now then, let's see if my theory is correct.

*concluded in the next post*

---

Last edited by Little_Thief on Sun Dec 02, 2012 10:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.